Confessions on a Dartboard – Version 2.0


As I’ve told you before, when someone insults me, I add their picture to a dartboard, and have a blast playing darts with my family. It includes Joni Mitchell (She said “Madonna has knocked the importance of talent out of the arena. She’s manufactured. She’s made a lot of money and become the biggest star in the world by hiring the right people.”), the horse who threw me, Paul McCartney (he said he can’t stand my music), Alison Goldfrapp (She said I steal other people’s creativity despite the fact that I have been a champion for her music!), Sharon Osbourne (She said I looked like an old hooker, among other things), Elton John (He said I lip-synch in concert), Boy George (He said if I was a drag queen I would be called Ruth Less among other things), Gwen Ste-Phoney (Just because she copied my style and keeps sending me fashion monstrosities),Whitney Houston (Slammed me for doing commercials when she did some herself!), Mooriah Scarey (She said “I really haven’t paid attention to Madonna since like 7th or 8th grade when she used to be popular.” She also constantly lies about being the best selling female artist when she knows that it’s really me!) Noel Gallagher (because he said my new cd sounds 20 years out-of-date. He said, “She ran of out ideas some time back. It’s all so 80s now.” I don’t understand why he would say such a thing….I mean didn’t he basically make it by trying to sound like the Beatles?)

Update: I have now added Scissor Sisters frontman Jake Shears (He tries to make it sound like I want to work with him and he’d rather work with Kylie. My response: If I wanted to sound like an Elton John cover band, I’d work with Elton himself! Thanks but no thanks! I put his photo at an appropriate spot on the dartboard!

Feel free to click on the dartboard to enlarge it and print it for your own use! Darts not included. You’re on your own there!