No more Baby Food for Me!

Ok. I have had it with Tracy Anderson and her stupid baby food diet. As many of you know by now, she is no longer my trainer. I am using dance and these big rubber bands for my exercise now. And I eat real food. I will never eat baby food again. I suggest you don’t either.


547 Responses

  1. Welcome back, M. Hope You are doing great with Your movie. Please, keep us informed about comings and goings, ’cause we love You more then ever.
    Screw Gaga and the rest of them…

  2. finally

  3. Hi =)
    Madonna….Finally I found your real blog!!!!
    I’m following your blog everyday I’m here !!!

    I just want you know how much I love you!!!
    The last time you was here in Brazil I cried,cried,cried…

    Because I’m 17 years old and my mon didn’t let me go to your show……and this..I never will forget !!!!

    I love you…..kisses

  4. Madonna answer me!!!
    this is a piece of my dream…
    tell me something..a kiss
    what you want……I sz U

  5. I have a lot to say……. I guess I was not prepared to say anything when you finally was around. just shocked……… I know what I need to do. I will keep in touch but I need answers to 101 questions.

  6. just feel the pure true loving YOU in not being so many are afraid to BE their truly sensitive vulnerable self God constantly knows of us all…….the wise compassionate divine truth so many turn away from…… too do i yet do…….

    sorry for being so abrupt in leaving………you did not deserve that……..and yet what pure true feelings are coming to the surface? uhm?

    i am a versatile bisexual bigender…………sorry, make that a frustrated versatile bisexual bigender

    love is heaven
    heaven is love
    i am in heaven
    i am in love

    with all of YOU
    butt mostly those who are fearlessly true
    knowing i can love more than one
    of heaven’s love always of 2

    oh come one, my bisexual bigender attempted poetry is rare!……….even if i don’t know how to write poetry

    what does anybody know about anything anyway?

    and what the fuck does it matter if they do, when love is not true?

    Jesus says, think of them as though nothing, the ego ones, unknowingly lost in the mixture light, yet undescerning for sake of their own precious divine self yet afraid and bound in wretched false captivities by false imagined projection transference fears………

    if it’s not love……..i don’t want it, so keep it fuckers!

    been around enough to wisely know…….

    oh sorry………….i interupted your pure meditation

    well, what if you were me, how would you have responed to you? uhm?

    ok then……….

    only love

    feels good enough to always feel and constantly BE

    what heaven is


    fucking contrived shit for brains blind leading the blind ego mascarades!

    hey, uhm, i was wondering, if Jesus Mary and God trust me, then why don’t you?

    ………i had no idea exploring my bisexuality would be so terrifying and true, of the world i left behind so long ago, still stiffling of one who is wisely maturely TRUE in bigender bisexuality expressing…………i just want to be loved as the bisexual bigender, preferrably one day, i pray, with a versatile bisexual bigender female baby maker in making our alien hermaphrodite kids! lol :mrgreen:

    ya, what YOU want

    that’s what i tell my kids, it is always FIRSTLY what you want, not what others want of you, albeit want you 2

    bless you all

  7. and no, i am not Madonna, i am her wise brother hear in heaven alongside the eternal ALL you

    although somedays i feel really really stupid in not loving her the way Jesus Mary and God constantly know i want 2………….cannot hide from God, cannot hide from myself, cannot hide from Madonna, for i know she is wise, as i whisper too……im sorry too

    when two people love each other, they always know the other is thinking and feeling loving thoughts of them, even when we are fucking ignoranmous jerks, namely myself at times……….afraid to admit to my own bisexual TRUE feelings i constantly am within……..fuck, bisexuality is way harder to deal with than the gay and lesbian transition i spent twenty years living as a gayboy bottom deniar of my bisexuality

    the fucking problem is gayboy bottom boy is actually a girl who loves girls as much as his/her own true self, duh!, 100%, i am the girl that i love, butt i am not Madonna…………although can any of you even remotely imagine being Madonna, with that body, go any where anytime she wants, hook up with who ever the fuck she wants to fuck that sure as fuck better wanna fuck her, or get the fuck out?!!!!!!!!!!!

    you better fucking lover her!

    like Jesus Mary and God constantly do, her heart so pure, so true of her love for me she, enough to let me go and figure out my own shit and everyone else’s ego maniac projection transference shit one day………..i am not you fuckers, nor will i ever BE, forever free, to just go BE ‘me’, an artist life now, you see

  8. seems i am on some stupid war path i have been marching on and on for along time now, of no desire to stop, and yet what the fuck does any of it matter if i am not fucking happy?

    what does anything any of us do matter, if you are not loyal to your own inner happiness true?

    inner happiness true is sacred mirroring of the eternal all 2

    Jesus wisely asks, “Where are you running to?”

    i think to myself, hmmmmm, Jesus already knows the answer i am seeking, and asks it from the pure place in his heart that Jesus wisely stands in asking the question of his heart and from his heart, knowing full well, until i stop, and turn away from the blind leading the blind i allow to lead me, i won’t find the pure flawless feeling love i feel within of most any of you i spent time in coming to know, in who i am, who i need to BE, forever free to just love the way i do when i am alone……..

    so much falsehood nonsense, so much unneeded falsehood distracting noise……..perpetually, on and on it goes, of no one asking the right questions for sake of their own self-actualization i tend to trash on from time to time, the emotional fallout………….will i ever get back to where i came from?

  9. you would of loved me as a young teen………..i was constantly vibrant back then……..i miss feeling that way, perhaps the smoking, eh? :mrgreen:

    a fucking stupid habit!

  10. i am still that same feeling person i was then, of when i look in the mirror, i see my true free spirited loving self as then, even the long hair now, that has just gotten older…………which is actually a great thing in so so many ways, no longer naive, and the sex, the sex is so fearlessly amazing pure and true……..

    i think to myself, if i am hurting, then so are you……..what 2 do


    it’s all heaven!

    all around us

    i feel it too

    what i wisely turn towards, my pure flowing feelings…….knowing you feel it too, whispering thank you too, as i do 2

    you know, it really is the wisdom of Jesus i turn towards as the most wise who is spiritually wisely leading the way back to our true self that is of God’s will in what God constantly knows where we all belong…… the constant flowing abundant non-stop love devoid of doubt forever true heaven that the forefather teachings continues to fuck with, fucks with us all, every day……….

    perhaps my marching like i do is not a bad thing, but am i marching in my truest possible form?

    this matters to me, as i don’t want to betray the divine self of anyone…….where i am of bisexual duality

    strangely, i wonder if that is a bad thing, when in truth i came from both a female and a male, i was raised by both a female and a male, is it so wrong to be of both a female and a male, is it so wrong to love both the female and male of my own self equally, is it so wrong to love the female and male self of the eternal ALL you?

    i love being my female sexual self
    i love being my male sexual self

    perhaps only versatiles know the happiness i constantly am?

    perhaps only a versatile is able to truly love me true?

    we did not hook up in life to know if we could of been happy together, and until such a time, everything of both of us in turning away is a fucking lie

    i love her!

    deep inside, we all do

    and why?

    well, perhaps Madonna knows more about our own self than we do?

    hear is a hint: she does!

    still, she is not yet fucking me, nor i her, and until that day happens, we are all fucking deniar liars of how happy one could be should you be one who Madonna constantly loves, and God forbid you don’t wake the fuck up and love her back, of only you being your own worse enemy……

    maybe my own HIV stigmatization of imagined fears makes me run away……..i like fucking without a condom, and pos people can do that, although two strains of the HIV virus is bad people, so be sure you know that you can get various strains of the HIV virus that can spell double the trouble for you………..know everything there is to learn, love and know of YOUR sexuality people………only you can reward your own self with self wisdom.

    lead a horse to water, even drown the fucker, but you cannot make it drink!

    drink up fuckers!

    no no no, not alcohol…………wisdom! lol :mrgreen:

    peace be to you

    sorry i am such a fucking jerk Madonna, but it is not just about me, it’s about this fucking world of projections that i am growing weary of, intolerant of, the pervading hypocrisy heart ones ever lurking, seemingly i can purely feel they are always there…………fuck you all when it comes to my fucking heart Biyatches, my fucking love life, with who ever it is that wants to love me, not you………….ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    you got that fuckers?

    ok, now fuck off!

    lol :mrgreen:

  11. anyway, think and feel whatever the fuck you want people, of what you turn towards you become, where if i don’t feel constant love from you, well, you will not find ‘me’ there

    fuck that

    been around enough to who loved me and who chose not to, that i walked on past, their wondering to this day, hey, wtf? where did Andy go?

    i heard she got his name changed to Andyy :mrgreen:

    ya, it is about who you love

    and it is about who loves you

    just be sure you love them and they you, in what 2 do

    ok, carry on

  12. hey, how come you lameasses are so short in soul searching fearless expressing of your beautiful self?

    ………just waundering……..

  13. here is a hint from Jesus: beware of the unwise false hypocrisy heart seemingly always nears, of false fears

  14. anyway……….i have sellected 50 images for sculpting, of replicas i want to flood the world with at a cheap price, not sure how much time i have left, what will be will be, as to when it all will stop, for me, eventually one day, set free from this bullshit fucked world i entered into and yet walk in, can you believe the fucking bullshit ego maniacs of some people?

    like holy fuck, do they not realize how badly they spiritually smell of the spiritual fucking death they wreak of?

    argh………….i see/feel it everyday, of all these all important ego fucking maniacs nimrod immature bashed in low self-esteemer wearing monster masks………..and i feel for those of you who have to work for the fuckers. yuk

    go live an artist life, and thank me later

  15. ok, you can have your blog back Madonna, i can edit the nimrod bashers who post at my own blog, but not hear, so a wise boundary setting i need, we both need, the world needs………

    doesn’t the unconditional love thing and the fuck buddies get boring for you somedays?

    just wondering………… lol :mrgreen:

    im bad

    i know

    done it all before

    i will say this though, the sex seems to get better than the last, always fucking amazing, why is that? lol

  16. i keep thinking of what Jesus says, “think of their egos as though nothing”

    the egos are seemingly as though nothing, serving us what?

    more ego maniac lie that you have to keep up with the fuckedup drug addict suicide Jone’s brothers status quo fucktard club?

    well…….it’s true

    truly some scary mind fuck lying shit some of you nimrods are for ‘me’ when i come too near for a closer look, of you not realizing the one who is purely there…….

  17. my thinking and feeling conclusion ‘of my real self within’, is that our unwise natural defensne mechanism of ego created and wearing of falsehood generational masks, is what ALL suffering is……..

    along the path of my coming out homosexual gay life experience that i feel started before i was born, into the unwise unsupportive 1960’s world that i was born into, just as are any in the world of most of the world being unaccepting, still of the forefather taboo ignorance teachings, for sure i suffered the falsehood taboo ignorant ego trippers, and yet do, of all you who think of us gayboys, transgirls, lesbians as perverts.

    but now here is the question, what is there to suffer of wise discerning falsehood suffering, once you come to terms with a reality check that the homosexual self is of our purely loving real honest self-awareness within that is not perverted at all, and rather 100% loving of those who likewise love us loving them, and they loving us?……..and you know you love us! :mrgreen:

    ok, now ponder these wise evoking words of Jesus when you have time to meditate alone…..

    Jesus says, “If you knew how to suffer, you would be able not to suffer. Learn how to suffer, and you will be able not to suffer.”

    for example, i have learned not to suffer, by means of suffering too oose boundaries i was of with Troy’s gay bashing family who drove a wedge between us, and of most any too loose boundary setting with the unwise less mature in loving homosexual self-love awareness oneness we walk as like we do.

    i don’t really suffer any more, other than perhaps sexual frustration most any of us deal with in waiting on someone to transition thru their coming out with us……..


    well, i identify as a versatile bigender bisexual

    and you, what do you identify as?

    not that it is any of my business, as with Jesus, so too do i ask prodding evoking questions for sake of you, where i don’t need to know the answer Jesus and i already know, our combined oneness evolving in self-love wise awakening.

    i will say this, is it not paramount to this world yet held hostage by forefather ignorances, for all of us to come to know what ALL suffering actually is, our own learned natural occuring defense mechanism hiding ego falsehood masks, that hurt not only others, who else do we hurt?

    our own self, do we not?

    in denial of self-love of another who may truly love us fearlessly like i do of all you?

    so call think of us what you want Biyatches, and call us deviant perverts all you want, where it is we who you do not truly purely yet realize, no, it is not we who deviate from our self-love, it is not we who pervert self-love, rather it is any and all of you, past present future, who deviate away from self-love every time you think, feel and consider yOUR loving brothers and sisters as perverted, of you who lead astray from what is morally correct today, albeit lately, i do hear some of you new coming out ones joyous in saying things like, “Oh, that is so perverted!” lol

    all falsehood generational ego not only leads astray and perverts others in damaging denial self-love actualization of their homosexuality self-love awareness……..extrinsic external homophobia, it also homophobically leads our own self away in falsely perverting our own homosexual self-love actualization………….resulting of intrinsic internal homophobia

    on and on it goes, even while others die consequentially to the generational taught taboo falsehood lying ass shit for brains denial lameass homophobics like the Catholic Church, who are no longer allowed to speak against us in Canada, and soon the world.

    fair warning to the merchant of God Pope of the Catholic Church

    wake up and see the blood of Christ’s pure loving brothers and sisters still directly being spilt by you Catholics in the world

    i raise a sword of law to the Catholic church, in accusation of indirect/direct negligence death and false imprisonment of homosexuals in the world in which YOU ARE GUILTY!

    hmmm……… if i could just build a case with 10,000 case file proof, and have you all cast into the prison of hell you actually already are in………..wait a second, that makes no sense, how can i cast them into a prison they already are in?

    “Jesus, get back hear and help me understand what do you mean, they unwisely unknowingly cast only themselves out of heaven with us of the generational falsehood prison they are held captive in? Does this mean they won’t ever get to experience anal sex? lol :mrgreen:

    that is soooooooo sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  18. ok ok, i will be at my blog………..shhesshhhhhhh!

    meaning of paramount:
    supreme in rank, power, or authority

    why is it our own governments in the world are not wise as we are?

    my God, my God, look at some of these places in the world who boast about stoning woman to death for adultery

    ya well, it is God who is knocking on your door in coming to ARREST/STOP you wretched murderous fuckhead ego maniac male sexist perps………hey, why don’t we just shoot them all in ridding the world of them?

    ok, let me ask you this, if you had the chance to shoot those who are about to stone a woman to death for adultery, would you?

    i would, without hesitation whatsoever!


    ok ok……….i just thought maybe perhaps hopefully praying…… miss ‘me’?

    then why are you smiling? uhm?

    see, you do!

    fuck you

  19. uhm……..i was thinking the other day………how i love the female of the male i come to know of so many……..and how you are as much a female gay guy, even better, my God, you are a real female!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    like holy fuck!!!!!!!!!!

    if anyone knows how to love my gay top ass better than a female of a male, it is a real female!

    for fuck sakes, what was i thinking? :mrgreen:

    oh yeah, she won’t put up with my cheating………can i cruise them like we all love to do? You know, that is a perfectly accepted healthy thing in the ghetto, just don’t get caught up in other people’s shit………did you know some of us fags will deliberately break couples up just for the challenge, of no genuine interest in either of them?

    that is so cold, but it’s true, some do! I’ve watched them. A game of sorts………a stupid game

    i don’t play that way, that’s just immature

  20. i play for keeps………eternal love shining into the eternal ALL who are constantly always right there………wondering what will be of my life journey path beyond greater significance than these beautiful white sensitive sexuality sculptures available for five bucks?

    i am completely purely devoted to this devoted work that is happening and will continue to happen until my last breath, at all times, each one sacred, as i think of the one not yet born who is standing there in the future, pondering, who were these artists who knows my pure loving heart so well?

    Jesus says, “what you bring forth from within you can save you, what you do not bring forth can hurt you.”

    well, i bring forth into the eternal world of the future, what was of my heart like their own, just as Jesus attempted to do, knowing why, knowing all the harsh paths i have journeyed thru, that they too will journey thru well into the future……..knowing that ALL suffering of egos is a false useless needless absurd suffering that no one wants and no one enjoys.

    i was thinking i would start horomone treatment experimenting to see if i can offset balance my male ego in allowing my effeminate female self to exist more so than my male self…………..and you yell out, “No, wait Andyy, don’t do that just yet!!!!!”

    huh? what? why not? oh stop being such a cock tease will ya?

    did i just say that?


  21. oh for fuck sakes, every time i come hear, everyone is out to fucking lunch!


  22. would i be happier with you?


    well ok, most likely

    well ok, of course i would! duh! denial is a powerful thing, but what of my female self? i was thinking, of time spent, anyone could come to love us completely, entrallingly, where i ask, if i am a female, then who best is able to know how to love a female, and if i am of a male, then who best is able to know how to love a male?

    you know, living in a LGBT community, of guys kissing guys everywhere we go is what is normal to me, and when i waunder into the hetero community, it is all just so weird and really really sad to me………seriously, i see how sad you people really really actually are, and i wonder to myself, “Don’t they know how truly obviously sad they appear to ‘me’?” :mrgreen:

  23. bless you always

  24. clearly, at all times, the only thing of any value in this world is the flawless flowing of love within we all feel for ONE another, of so so many who wonder why we are not more loving than we could be, than we should be, and are obviously egotistically self-absorbed emotionally unavailable unable disable not………it’s all bullshit, all of it, although i suppose the big screens are kinda cool, and the high def music is so amazing………still, the world is a cold cold ego suffering place, of real suffering, life threatening suffering, all the result of blind leading the blind hearted self-important ego distraction we continue to be born into, the divine self asleep in ignorance, unknowingly

    time wake them up Madonna!

    do you know what time it is?

    no seriously, what time is it, my watch battery died

    lead by radiant brilliant bright example i know to be true of YOU

    as do you

    the ALL of you

    as in

    with ALL my heart
    with ALL my body
    with ALL my mind
    with ALL my soul
    with ALL my spirit
    of my unceasing love that pours forth in giving ALL my thanks to God for my blessed loving life i constantly love living

    in spite of the unwise others

    for sake of the eternal ALL yet to come

    i know, somewhere in the future, i am truly there with them, in their hands like my own, who does know their heart, like my own

  25. oh, and just a quick note……….i am not envious of anyone

  26. speaking of the wrong things for us, i really should only listen to dance music from now on, always did despise the pathetic victim mentality crying in your beer Country Music that i still cannot listen to any more……..yuk

    just seems so immature………and is

    did you know Jesus danced with his followers?

    gee i wonder why?

    is not setting our pure fun loving oppressed spirits free the divine will objective of God? duh!

  27. anyway, i came to you

    i chose to deal with my bisexuality at this time

    and some of you were there

    so thank you

    what to do

    well, i have to go sort it out on my own, don’t i?

    in time, however long, and who knows, maybe someone will just appear, walking beside them, as i make a decision to just keep on walking with them and not go home………my decision, mine and mine alone to make when i am ready to make it, that i may or may not make.

    depends on how i feel, which is fucking useless lately, mostly………decided to quit smoking, i have to, doc’s orders…….such a stupid stupid thing to do!

  28. catch me if you can some day…………

  29. keeping score:

    hypocrisy hearts: 0
    loving hearts: infinite

    no one of the falsehood hypocrisy heart is ever able to win over the loving heart

    as a kid, i used to listen to the bitter hypocrites that gathered in a circle each day, saying whatever the wanted to say of others, with no real depth of understanding, and seemingly no desire either, on and on, every day, the same old bitterness i grew sick of listening to, where if they could not find something to say about you, they made it up, passifying their own insatiable desire of the drunken blind hypocrisy heart they turned to and dwelled in, so bitter and foul tasting……as i think and feel thoughts coming up from my pure heart, how mean spirited and heavey laden in heart bitter they are……..

    anyway, i have set myself on a new mission, of fifty stone carvings in time for the next Toronto Pride, which is about one new carving a week, easy to do, and so calm purely relaxing my day is each day i wake to, an inner healing of sorts, not to forsake all of you, and you each other, i pray

    bless you all

  30. so ya, beware of not only the hypocrisy heart of others, beware of led astray developing of your own hypocrisy heart ego that in the end is able to hurt only our own self, not ever ‘me’, wisely free, to see whoever really does want to truly see ‘me’……..

    unconditional loving artist friends

    im fine with that, and if one day whatever, well, whatever will be will be, of my own happy loving children all around one day, still the single biggest saddest ignored oppression issue of the LGBT community……………i am so going to change it all forever, of God’s divine will my own divine will…….oneness

    oneness……..what constant love devoid of doubt heaven is

    you hurt only your own self, not able to truly ever love ‘me’ of one so purely 100% loving free

    i am constantly ‘that’ which heaven is, love devoid of doubt

    so i ask, who’s doubt is it that i yet feel, yours or my own?

    who is hurting who?

    are you not the same oneness hypocrisy heart ones who hurt and killed Jesus?

    did any of you suppose Jesus purely clearly saw right thru any of you at all times?

    here is a hint: yes he did

    at all times


    what heaven is

    constant wise discerning compassionate love devoid of doubt

    i know how to raise kids

    the same way i raise your own kids

    only love
    only wisdom
    only compassion

    at all times

    Jesus says, “give thankFUL appreciation to God for restorative divine self-love actualization nurturing protecting wisdom”

    peaceful graceful loving inner happiness be to you all forever more

  31. the end of all hellish false hateful ignorant apathetic hypocrisy heart falsehood death destruction and oppression is the same place where the beginning of heaven’s true loving wise compassionate blessed heart life blossoming freedom is found, oneness wholeness flowing abundant true love devoid of doubt heaven of your heart, mind, body, spirit and soul of the eternal all YOU

    blessed you

    bless you all forever more

  32. see how dance is able to truly truly lift the human spirit no matter where one may find them SELF?

    i love these guys!

  33. Oh Hello Madonna, you back after 2 years wonderful how have you been ?

    so much has been happening on this blog, for brother Andy has turned into a girl big boobs now apparently & he’she’s circumventing some alien bug, Rachel Cartwritght vanished after going into labour, im not sure what happended to Andrew but I think he was homopobic as for me well im fabulous as always I’ve been living a clean healthy life almost like a monk may as well be celebant, celebrate same thing boring oh ive been stalked by phantom girl at the supermarket, wonder woman in her leggins but kinda boring really like I much prefer a chat & dance at a club but anywaz I start fiming my first movie in January I play a gay guy so should be a challenge hey ..


    Andy Madonna’s bak , your dumped

  34. my name is Andyy….show some respect Biyatch!

    you don’t even KNOW the ‘real’ Madonna, so how can you speak for her feelings? uhm?

    and how can she dump me if we were not fucking in the first place? uhm?

    unconditional spiritual student artist oneness friends Biyatches!

    oh whatever, you are just being your usual small limp dick anal retentive whatever Biyatch!

    what you bring forth from within you is able to save ‘you’ ~ truth of your pure flawless constant flowing feelings of the subconscious real you, heaven

    what you do not bring forth from within you is able to destroy ‘you’ ~ false useless absurd ego masking binding empty nothingness suppression captivity of the subconscious real you, hell

    and it is always her loss Biyatches in turning away from our oneness love pure and true, which we cannot, duh! nor will we! Why would anyone turn away from heaven once they fully step into BEing their pure flawless healing constant loving wise compassionate divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul to appease some small limp dick anal retentive fucktard to preoccupied with their own repetitive annoying childish aimless haphazard mindless bullshit without cultivation of a wise helmsperson, than to step FULLY into feeling the constant love devoid of doubt heaven’s bliss of their magical wondrous extraordinary dancing holy joyful absolute carefree happy divine self brain flooded with happy chemicals?

    hmmm……well for some, they have not discovered their sweet loving ass……

    for others, they did discover their sweet loving ass early in life, but fearfully homophobically suppressed their feelings, drinking their stupid asses off all the time, driving suicide fast in their cars after drinking, jumping off of buildings, bridges, hanging themselves, slashing their wrists over and over again, to feel something, anything but the repetitive gay bashing shit they have to fucking hear daily in their fucked family households, jackass druggy friends, who are actually not freinds at all, themselves of internal external homophobic oppression, while in secret, they too are having beautiful healthy homoerotic fantasy masterbation sessions of me like Mike did………i fucking know he was, without doubt, too bad neither one of us got the courage up to touch the other’s penis……fucking sad shit!

    and for you morons, Rachel Cartwright is actually Madonna when she was younger, but you already fucking know that, don’t you Marco, because you are a Madonna wanna be!

    me, im just the fucking muse, as in amuse masterbate some more why don’t we, so i can finally figure out my versatile bigender bisexual happiness…….which right now is leaning towards my top, who loves sex with real females more than the female of the male, although there have been some sweet ass loving female males i loved fucking, too bad their dick was too fucking small to do anything with, more fucking sad shit, could not stay, while it was fun to play, pretending i was gay

    i am versatile bigender bisexual happiness

    and i am 100% certain in my knowingness, that Madonna is 2


    smoke that one!

    lol :mrgreen:

    can i come over now?

    i need a friend

    a real friend

    who i know constantly yearns to love ‘me’ like i constantly yearn to love you

    and another thing Biyathes, i am not much into voyerism, as much as some of you may think i am, where the only way any of you are ever going to see my penis is if you are sucking it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    got it?

    ok then, now where were we?

    oh yeah, in constant yearning love devoid of your BULLSHIT DOUBT kingdom of heaven……… lol :mrgreen:

    made ya laugh

    your turn

    as in turn the fuck around and speak the truth of your constant yearning flowing flawless healing loving feeling oneness we both are of hear at the gates of lover’s heaven bliss.

    fuck, i am fucking positive now, that just fucks it all up now, no more sex without condoms, fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!

    or at least not with Madonna, knowing i love and respect her purely like i do, would not even consider asking such a thing, loving her enough to let her go, harder on me than her, although i do feel she loves me TRUE :mrgreen:

    ya, she fucking loves me TRUE!

    for those of you who actually do know the real Madonna oneness like your own

    i do

    bless you

  35. what you bring forth from within you, can save ‘real you’ ~ self-love

    what you do not bring forth from within you, can destroy the ‘real you’ ~ self-hate

    bless you all

  36. you poison only your own real self when of fales hypocrisy heart words you unwisely turn towards, away from your constant yearning flawless flowing real self love within…….

    and who the fuck cares if someone does not want to love you like you feel within?

    since when does any loving happy relationship exist without both surrendered to their own loving feelings they yearn to constantly feel like they do of another? uhm?

    and just because you may love someone like you do, does not mean they do too

    so what of Madonna and i anyway?

    is Madonna any different from others in my ability to love them equally as i constantly do her real self?

    and what of anyone’s feelings?

    don’t we all cycle thru the same feelings?

    what matters to me, is the constant yearning love devoid of doubt kingdom of heaven i know 100% within, knowing this to be true of every one of you, no matter what any of you may think

    unwisely, sadly, many who are of the 100% intuitive constant core of their being constant yearning love devoid of heaven within, are of many distractions away from their true real self-love

    the oneness divine will objective of Jesus Mary and God is what i constantly am within, same as everyone, what is of constant seeking to surrender exclusively to one lover of holy joyful absolute carefree inner happiness set free, which can only be when two are obviously equally of the same desire for one another, and when they are not, it is the usual mixed light that sucks for anyone to feel, the leaves us to waunder down our blessed road of life to eventually find another like we all do

    seriously, why the fuck should i give a sweet fuck at all for someone who may not want to suck my dick? uhm?

    and now, being HIV positive, i have to be of the reality check not only of internal homophobic of another, i also have the HIV stigmatization to deal with, and well, i don’t expect others to be able to easily deal with their HIV stigmatization, as it is a natural occurring primal brain fear response to danger, more so years ago than now, where the only way in overcoming one’s own fear is by swimming thru it in a relationship with someone who is HIV+, of their choice to make if they find within that their feeling love is true of the real you for another you may come to know and love like we do

    i cannot allow myself to practice unsafe sex with another, now that i am HIV+, and that sucks for me, realizing i don’t like protected sex, knowing how much i love unprotected sex, which means only pos people who are willing to be of sex without protection are of choice for me to be with for greater sexual please experience

    however, that does not necessarily mean sex is the most important issue for me in choosing a partner

    far from it

    actually impossible for me to be with some of the lessor no priority preferredness in being their real self true nature gracefulness oneness i am, of the underdeveloped wise helmsperson within, the fickle, the fake, lameass pretender spender, been with them all, so i know the difference between real self-love and fake

    only you can reward your own divine real self with self-love actualization

    although in truth, everyone is of increasing fearless awakening to brighter environmental changing of the eternal divine light flowing in the world thru all into the eternal all of the future

    i am greatly sadden in having to let go of a boy’s dream i was for many years to one day be with Madonna, always knowing how i have felt of my loving adoration of her from afar, and now, of recent, in coming closer, well, it is tearing me apart inside, completely shattering of my heart apon the ground, hence my manifesting behavior in likeness of what is happening to me inside

    does not mean i have to let go of our blessed unconditional spiritual loving artist friendship we both want

    where that starts and stops, well, that is of course entirely up to Madonna, thinking lately i should be respecting her boundaries in her moving on in her heart mind body spirit and soul with full attention of lover love for another, for sure, i have to let go, the HIV thing, the homosexual thing, where i am the one who may be of unrealistic expectation delusion, as my therapist says……..which really sucks that my own therapist is more immature than i am, saying i reach out to delusion in avoidance of the empty void i stand in at times, bullshit, fucking bullshit, after spending years and years watching and loving Madonna, no fucking delusion fuckheads, and indeed, is profoundly deep love of my inner child self constantly flowing like it has for fucking decades Biyatches!

    so now you can all fuck off, ok?

    thank you


    rant……………… :mrgreen:

  37. honestly, i really really feel who ever ends up with me will be the happiest fucker alive on the planet……..without doubt whatsoever, knowing the versatile bigender lover i am WELL!

    so go be whatever pathetic petty asshole you want to be Biyatches, i really don’t much give a fuck for chilling with pretentious fucks

    if not fearless passionate real self in positive healthy sexual desire oneness as my own, well, you all had your chance, where i am just going to let who ever finds their emotional honest real self constant loving feelings they have for me to come forth into my life, so kiss my ass fuckers!


  38. too bad I wasnt with you when all the noise was made………LOL XOXO, O

  39. ha

    i am not ever alone in my inner self-love awareness awakening transition into fearlessly constantly BEing the cognitive fully awake true real self rising up to the challenge in preferredness of being their at ease graceful pure sweet loving ass as my own

    pure oneness with the brothers and sisters of LGBT worldwide family, no matter what barriers exist, we all feel the same oppressive bullshit life we are all in constant transition with among everyone, all growing in acceptance.

    at some point we just let go and don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks or feels about us, in turning to just be the happiness within of outward shining brilliant bright sweet ass loving lovers running so free in spirit like we do, of eternal bonding we feel like we do, always concerned in looking out into the world of the truth in well being we witness of each other like we do, always a sense of knowingness in how they are doing in transition setting their pure spirit free to just be the holy joyful absolute carefree inner happiness we all constantly yearn to be, irregardless of orientation.

  40. toc toc toc ! c’ est prêt ! Le repas va être froid …

  41. Mental Madge is in da house, again? I missed you so much, I very nearly went and got a life in your absence. Luckily I resisted, choosing to instead wait 2 years by the computer for your return. Keeping the faith.

    I had (however) forgotten about Andy and his endless delusional ramblings. Adjust you friggin meds already. Blah blah blah, who cares!

    So MM, where’s Crusty Connie????? I demand answers. Where is Sonny-boy? I need a sign.

  42. go fuck yourself Travis, you insecure gay bashing fuckhead with nothing better to do than go around trashing true pure spirited people with you mind fuck empty nothingness from the empty nothingness you stand in alone without ‘me’

    seriously, eat your own fucking shit and fuck off and die

    oh sorry, you already are spiritually fucking dead as evident by the spiritual death vomit you spu forth

    you have God to deal with one bright day that you recoil in pure feeling sight of the truth that will strike you to the ground, perhaps in the form of your own child killing themselves because of the ‘lack’ God sees in you in not cultivating someone wise at the helm of your life, where you may fearless embrace learning the true sensitivity of the vulnerable self stifled, suppressed and oppressed because of what you CHOOSE to turn towards, the empty nothingness ego maniac track you love running on, bashing whoever the fuck you feel like when ever you do.

    well, if the gun goes off in your face one day from you bashing the wrong person, well, you cannot ever say you were not fairly warned by someone who is wisely of God’s omnipotence in knowing the obviousness error of your ways.

    i am seriously done with this blog now Madonna, see you around sometime in the clear, from where gay bashers stand and frown, at Madonna’s blog

    fucking jerk offs

    who the fuck wants to ever EVER listen to you Travis?

    let me guess, you live a lonely life of endless loss of people who run from you, after realizing you have issues, likely a drug addict acoholic, ya, who the fuck cares about anything you have to say Travis

    hear is a hint: not ever ‘me’

    clueless fucks, get and stay the fuck away from ‘me’ in your bitter endless mind fuck gnashing of teeth outside of heaven’s door in remain trappred in your own mind fuck trap haphazardly like you OBVIOUSLY do

    • Get over yourself Andy.


      I wrote 2 lines stating (the obvious) that you are delusional, and as if to prove the point you write 27 lines about how I should eat shit and die, get shot in the face, fuck off whilst trapped in my own mind fuck outside heavens gate, or some shit like that, I stopped reading half way though. These loving words from the ‘true pure spirited’ one? Give me a break, or better still, ignore me completely and go back to rambling on and on, speaking to yourself and ‘Madonna’ as if anyone else gives a shit.

  43. where did the love go …

    it saddens me to see such disconnection in the world so messed up and yet you all fall into the trap of it all ego taking over fear falling over petty quarrel’s

    preacher failing to head their own wisdom

    shame shame shame

  44. your loosing me, & yet i ask you

    who is truly at heaven’s door

    material one

    or maternal one

  45. been so high on my crack last 15yrs i forgot that little Alien from Melbourne is well… U wanna play i can play

  46. lesbian lover

  47. how very dare she

  48. Jesus teaches me of all you of mockery cajole and enticing emptiness unbecoming conduct of divine self unattendance vipers nest you clearly enjoy dwelling in

    and still you come back as though of good character of no apology to those of life saving stabilizing meds they temporily need because of the very ill nature so many of you truthfully yet remain as outside of heaven

    i am heaven’s gate

    if you truly truly do want to find ‘me’, you will simply need to add l o v e in all your wise compassionate loving heart addressing ‘me’ :mrgreen:

    i am no longer interested in dwelling in toxic mind fuck vipers nest poison spuing forth from you ignoramous jackasses that leads to not only your own self in death destruction and opression, you stupidly lead innocent others as well

    good fucking bye to all you cruel ass empty mindless ignoramous fuckheads at Madonna’s blog that ‘i am’ no longer able to be found

    peace out fuckheads

  49. maternal one


    stupid question meant for stupid to learn of their own self :mrgreen:

    i am not interested in the illness of heart projection transference hear at the blog, as was before when i first arrived hear

    so perhaps somewhere other than hear, somewhere over the rainbow?

    hey, i know, let’s go to Bora Bora!


    seriously though, this blog is a toxic viper’s nest for people to drop by and take a crap in, so anywhere but hear, ok?

    you know where to find ‘me’

    always i am heaven’s gate

    and i have grown so so much over the past three years, thanks in part to you

    blessed you

  50. and don’t be knocking the teacher, ok?

    i am merely the teacher’s student yet BEcoming the teacher, where the best teacher is always an open minded student :mrgreen:

    but open to the jackass mind fuckers?

    no way Biyatches!

    you will have to find your own way home from hear

    it is always the same eternal time oneness across all time

    bless bless bless bless you

    hey, let’s get married some day

    as in eternal day






    you know why i cannot stay hear

    as if

  51. oh, and material boy is stupidly at the door too

    shall i let him in?

    as in let him into his own self-awareness? lol :mrgreen:

    oh, you know ‘me’

  52. yes, i am lesbian lover 2

  53. more than well

    i am 100% heaven’s gate

    according to Jesus Mary and God, and of all who wisely fearlessly lovingly compassionately enter fully into divine self-love awareness of eternal all who are constantly always……….right there

  54. hmmmm……..a lesbian lover with two cocks………must feel mind fucking amazing? :mrgreen:

    but i have a real cock those penis envious lesbians don’t

    heck, i am more than a transgender F-M, although i have no idea how sex feels for a post op F-M, or a M-F

    and i personally don’t wish to proceed in such surgery


    no way!

    i mean why would i want a second vagina?

    that’s just stupid

    chop your ten inch cock off to have a second vagina in addition to the one you already have?

    that’s just fucking partner denial happiness ignoramous stupid!

    seeing as i am happiness of a female, why on earth would i want my partner to change his penis into a vagina, or vice versa, why would i deny him or her their happiness i know as my own?

    i am that of all you females
    i am that of all you males

    and i have chosen to remain purely that of both

    versatile happiness of both my own self in oneness sameness happiness self of others

    of all you

    the eternal all you


  55. i am not about ego

    i am about humilation awareness words of ego that is not able to humilate ‘me’ as much as it unwisely thinks it can

    impossible i might add, once you know what i have spent so long learning and BEcoming in wise compassionate self awareness love devoid of doubt heaven i know i purely am inspite of the ignoramous gnashing of teeth at the door that we hear in most any circle we allow ourself to walk into, unable to stay

    i know your pure heart within

    and in so knowing, you know mine

    i would not be able to say this if i did not truly truly know

    what we know

    of everyone

    bless you all

  56. fuck off with the game’s have some appreciation for what its like for me to have to deal with knowing you the i am you it’s not easy & i do love you but it’s not easy you know so give me a break im strong but i canont do it on my own. I can but at the same time i might not. Lol jesus you want me toGET A bruised shoulder

  57. Just so you know, i will not participate any further in a place of open attacking others, ok?

    nor should you

    projection transference toxic immaturity of others we left behind along fucking time ago, so let us stay true to our pure self in stepping away, ok?

    fuck, i have a difficult time in even one fucking word from the ignoramous ones, preferring to keep my distance completely away from them, or briefly when necessary, like those of our jerk off moron family

    fuck, even my mother is toxic for me, not knowing the immature light i see her in

    although i know she always loves her son, inspite of his not having children of my own she so wanted me to have, of a happy dysfunctional family like our own, “ya sure mom, i will get right on that, as soon as i get the courage to come down from this fucking ledge, ok?”


    now that was funny! :mrgreen:

  58. i fucking love this guy and want to meet him someday!

    just meet him……….honest……..well ok, fuck, i would fuck him in a heart beat!

    fuck ya!

    for sure, all night long! :mrgreen:

  59. you do it to yourself even my mum says so

  60. seems my seroconversion phase is mostly over

    the SWISS B-complex horse pills and the SWISS Vitamin ‘Time Release’ horse pills worked miracles for me consistently

    our body only uses what it needs, and tosses out of the body what it does not need, so overloading the body abit is ok, in not allowing your body to be insufficient of what it needs, especially during the dangerous time of early infection HIV seroconversion phase that can and does last up to six months of hell for our body.

    40 days to change a bad habit

    RED40 is the only approach to adhere to during HIV seroconversion that positively 100% works in ensuring your antibodies get what they need in coming online as you transition out of the sickness of HIV seroconversion phase

    peace out babes

  61. oh hey, i just noticed you are hear………

    hey, i do sense your sincerity with me of the oneness feelings like my own

    i am getting better now, of greater passionate me coming back online, of even greater positive well being self-confidence healing i experience in come the fucking physical mental emotional sexual spiritual seemingly death war struggle of my HIV seroconversion

    it was so friggin intense for me

    you have no idea how hellish i was feeling most of the time

    cannot handle negativity, of no desire to listen to the shit they enjoy like they do, a complete waste of fucking time for me, as one who values their time more than i did before

    i don’t even know my own self at times


    but i do remember my early teen self and the unacceptance i went thru

    this lends to my understanding of gay lesbian youth out there who begin their inner struggle much younger than most parents may realize, exactly at puberty is when it all starts for us, subconsciously for some yet of latent homosexually, cognitively for others like myself of the homoerotic masterbation sessions i so so fucking loved like i did……….ALOT!


    are you making fun of my hustler boy muse?

    while he may be running that way, which i am not yet sure he is, in truth, that is not who he is

    the problem is not him, but those he may be running with, of his own lacking life experience cultivation self-respect, and what is of anyone struggling with self-acceptance lacking wants and vital needs not being met for their homosexual self to thrive and grow in their inner happiness

    i feel useless at times of need, and yet i feel my art is of greater importance more so than meeting the needs of my muse, rather of the eternal all it is able to assist as well, for a long long time into the future

    and so that is my focus each blessed day

    the best hobby i enjoy in life other than sex

  62. ya, good point, do it to our own self

    mentally emotionally, we can be our own worse enemy

    how much of our inner fears is of our own ruminating cycle pattern rethinking behavioural?

    all of it actually

    breaking free is seemingly impossible for some, almost as if they enjoy being beatup all the time, dynamically a normal environment for some kids who grow up in abusive environments

    i was not of an abusive childhood, although a dysfunctional one that did eventually blow apart, the fallout having the greatest impact on my life than anything else previous, of a relatively happy childhood, so much so, than when it was ripped away, i was crushed inside in having to hit the streets alone at age 15, completely financially abandoned by both my parents


    that was so hard on me, and still is

    i am still that messed up kid inside emotionally

    who always wanted to regain the security he always had, thinking i always would, of my cognitive and subconscious constant seeking with others, still not grounded yet in where i so want to be one day

    at some point you stop with your own unrealistic expectations of others who’s cycle pattern behaviour patterns that stem from their own childhood upbringing, don’t really change much when left unaddressed, the continuous repetitive fucking ANNOYING patterns of mental mind fuck abuse resurfacing time and time again, my ex, where i am compassionate in knowing what he does not see in his cycle pattern behavior, but at times i get really fucking annoyed with his increasing emotional intensifying cycle stuckness shit


    so where to from hear?

    i cannot stay here and won’t


    i know how cycle pattern behaviour ends……..

  63. you don’t think i came all this way to deliberately ditch your ass, do you?

    fuck that

    no way

    we are both growing in our self-confidence

    we both need our space to heal and boundaries as friends, which i want to keep, so long as we continue to be productive in our healing, which i feel we truly have been thus far, most of the time, where it is time out of the toxic past of unhealthy others we outgrow that is of required time healing ‘Safe Distance Appreciation Awareness’ that naturally occurs like it has for both of us

    fucking corporate ladder climbing was toxic for me big time

    my real self eventually came forth and just told the jerk offs what was of their projection identification transference stage they created in wanting and waithing to hear from me……..”Fuck Off!”

    i laugh in the meeting with my superiors when i gladly said admittingly smiling, “Insubordination is insubordination!” :mrgreen:

    amazing how the human mind works, yes?

  64. anyway, i am off to do some more sculpting

    enjoy you day

    catcha tomorrow

    which is always an extension of today

    bless you

    my love is pure

    and true

    like you

    what heaven actually always constantly is

    oneness of two

    duh! :mrgreen:

    all night long

    me and you

  65. i love chilling with you

    but not hear

    you know that

    neither of us enjoy the toxic immature retoric

    especially when it is of our own self at times……. ha

    it was good there for awhile, but now the vultures have returned expecting to find a corpse, not realizing their own walking talking destructive ego corpse

  66. no more baby food Biyatches!

    only the real stuff from now on

    where i will cut you all off at the fucking knees if you even look at me the wrong way

    got it fuckers?

    i am vastly way wiser than most of you care to fucking know

    and i will ditch you stupid as where you find it

  67. hey where did you go?

    ok, i will be back another day

    think about where, as it is not productive to remain in a viper’s nest of yesteryear immature bullshit

  68. hmmmm…….ya, hustlerboy suits you, a great nickname for you

    is you

    way to go HustlerBoy! :mrgreen:

    let’s go hustle some more

    in a good way for them all, with pay to play

    they have to pay

    it’s healthy for them to stay functional in getting OUT to see, feel and BE as us!

    so there is not such thing as stopping what cannot ever be stopped

  69. as much as some may try as they may, so nearly lost along the way

    2 heaven

  70. i.m on a mobile i cannot even read your messages but i just know what your saying/thinking your a pisser i.m laughing so much lol mwah. Xox

  71. I want you to be happy wherever you are, wherever we are, where ever we go is not so important, so long as you are happy.

    i put closur to my ex, my first love, last night.. I though I had already as it was 17yrs ago now but I did not realise until last night when someone from the past, passed by .. he used to mock me at the time for my spiritual awareness, for being too deep for being connected … & yet I never really acknowledged this reality,

    Hey lets make a friends pact, to never allow that to manifest in the connection that we have. i know that is what you have worked so hard at maintaining, in so many ways you are wiser than me, in many ways you are like me also..

    enjoy your week..

  72. hmmm…..when one is meditatively centered in their blessed pure flawless TRUE feeling original real self of defenses down, there is no such thing as merely a pack between exceedingly wise enlighted ones of the world, such as the incredibly wise monks in life passing thru life along side of us, rather what is of constant subconscious awakening into cogntitive awareness is our BEcoming clarity of the wise discerning monks and scholars of the world oneness open mindedness that is of consistent letting go shedding of our previous immature defensive masks we develope along the way, for whatever reasons, or rather whoever reasonings is more accurate, an assertive University scholar mindset that is truthful and honest in seeming difficulty letting go of the old self Jesus refers to

    Jesus was a scholar as though of today’s scholars in psychology, where in truth, Jesus is actually more consistently connected to his constant pure flawless divine self inner flowing feelings than is of the ability of today’s scholars, which place Jesus at in realm of his own, alone, which he always knew he was, alone in his growing wisdom, beyond that of even the most wise scholars of today, no matter how much scholars may choose to be of useless argumentive avoidance of coming face to face in awareness truth of their own stifled true self like they do, the binding nature of group mentalities mostly, unknowingly……….

    what are my wants?

    well, when i say this, you too will realize i am that of the same wants as you, as anyone, from a wise perspective awareness of what is the true nature of our suppressed divine true real self of most any…….

    100% surrended oneness exclusively to one lover

    that is not only what i want and need, it is who i am for the love in what amounts to sacred oneness surrendering to our divine true real self true nature, no longer afraid, no longer in need of use of the false masks we wear, which is suppressive and binding captivity stifling of our true self to thrive in our constant yearning to burst forth inner happiness set free

    i had a beautiful moment this morning while alone in quiet meditative settings away from everyone while down at the lake i love so much

    i felt this calmness come over me of my surrendering spirit to just BE me, knowing that is the only way anyone can ever purely know me in order to love me the way we all constantly yearn like we all purely do

    i came into awareness of thoughtful feelings as one walking out of the past forever, of no desire to return, turning to see who chose to greet me in the future there beside me, after they did come fully into pure awareness of the constant loving real self of me, only by means of their own constant loving real self once suppressed

    and so therein is the truth of the process we fearfully yet are of, is it not?

    letting go in order to hang on

    i have to

    and so do you

    for sake of inner happiness of us both

    either together or with another

    i have no desire to be any where near the darkness homophobes i have to journery near to at times like we all do

    this is not merely for sake of me either

    it is about my unborn child yet to come forth into the world who will inherit the research writtings of his or her father, who spent his entire life trying to make sense of every word of Jesus as regards what actually is the kingdom of heaven i know 100% without doubt that i have found

    just because i have found it though, leaves me to wisely realize i am mostly alone in doing so, other than the exceedingly wise open minded monk scholars i have come to know, who likewise are close in purely feeling of their own divine self as to the truth that indeed, the kingdom of heaven is a wise macro thinking nurturing awakening protective mind set perspective which is only of the ability of the subconscious fearless awakening process of the true real self into cognitive awareness of the constant truth AT ALL TIMES that surrounds us, such as our awareness as to the obvious truth of the dark binding mind traps so many plod along in like they haphazardly do

    take for example my young transexual F-M muse who has thus far chosen muslim as a religion, a fateful difficult closed minded path ahead of potential destructive others, rather than a destiny path out of these forefather ignoramous teachings which may be partially of nurturing the diivne self true nature, but in the end, no one knows precisely what is of the light we all come from, what is the kingdom of heaven everyone subconsciously seeks, as you say, the inner connection blessed oneness of the true nature of two

    i still have my issues which are mostly subsided now, having processed assertively thru them, in letting go of the past into where i know i now wisely stand in my vast macro thinking cognitive awake ability of what i purely do know is the kingdom of heaven Jesus taught, and yes, spiritually i do know the high spiritedness of the adult child Jesus likewise suppressed as too am i, in reaching for what Jesus asks us to reach for that he was unable to reach during the cruel brutal ruling times of the Roman empire, of so much wretched deathful controlling fear constantly all around them at that time of human history

    i love reading and purely feeling their presence there in the past in fearlessly pondering what was happening to them all of the treacherous path they all walked apon along side of each other

    here is a thought……….i was thinking the other day, of how we too are of one big group of beautiful human beings on a path along side one another processing, where i felt everyone stop for a moment of awareness oneness for an entire day, where in truth, what evades our pure feelings is that everyone of us is actually bound in a suvival mode of sorts at this point in time in human history unfolding into an unknown future, of how sacred it is that we all came out of horrific wars of the past, the offspring of our forefathers of far greater human struggles as an unwise immature group of children unknowingly born into a lost no one knowing the correct path ahead for the eternal all to safely journey, still we are of this uncertain path, ALL brothers and sisters who ALL cycle thru the exact same feelings like we all do, the truth that indeed, we are all exactly the same, no more evading avoidance of the truth, each of us of the sensory perceptions of the these beautiful human being creatures perhaps completely alone in the universe that ever existed and ever will exist………….argh………..sometimes it overwhelms me completely as i begin to cry at the sight of the immaturity denial avoidance captivity of it all…………

    what is one to do when have found what is the eluding kingdom of heaven not yet found by those unknowingly yet in process of their subconscious awakening into the powerful cognitive thinking ability of their divine self?

    well, right now i just want to take a sigh and cuddle in oneness with a true real friend you strive to be as do i

    i want to ask, what do you want of us?

    is it not the true pure friendship we have chosen to open up to within?

    i have a pure relationship with Jesus Mary and God i have cultivated for along time now

    it is a sacred pure connection as you say of my pure spirited safely guarded divine real self as your own, where it is Jesus Mary and God who are guarding protecting with me in a way that eludes most

    they know i turn exclusively to them as the only trusting friends in my life, and that is the process i am yet of as we speak, that i turned towards decades ago

    it is my safe sanctuary within that no one knows about

    and only you who i want to invite into

    it is so gracefully purely calm there, of how it is a am able to see you, and likewise you me like we loving constantly desire to

    there is greart importance to both our lives as as regards safe passage of the eternal all future unfolding, that frees many from the bondage of the forefather captivity mind traps, as i know you already know

    i have surrended now to my artist life as a sculpture, now of the loving inner joy to be found of the artist fold of all you artists who walk among us in life like we do, our hearts aiming high into our subtle higher intellect like we fearlessly do, having left the ego maniac world behind, our loyalty to the loving hearts of the next generation coming thru, in what is blessed life, and what is not, resonating thru our devoted works, our own self equally of the one same process every single human being of the entire past, present and eternal future are ALL of, mostly unknowingly of the many

    artist know

    how it is i know you

    how it is you know me

    so let me wisely ask

    as an artist, you knew how you grew within of the pure flawless inner connection that unfolded for you like it has and yet does, so with that said, just where do you think you shall easily find me in the future as an artist just like you

    ok, that is your cue to say, “IN MY FUCKING BED ANDYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    ok then, there you have it

    now who is buying lunch

    hey, we picked from the free garden yesterday, and ate of it

    that is what heaven is


    leave it to the ego maniac fucktards yet being bound by the lost forefather teaching capitalist masters of trickery desception in their attempts to fuck up what they shall not ever be able to become victorious over in what heaven actually is in fucking it up our mindset……….. :mrgreen:

  73. ok, let’s suppose for a moment, that the human being is the only intelligent life form in the universe at the top of the food chain as we speak…….which reminds me, i really want to stop eating meat…….

    what this means, is that WE are the center of the universe, wisely so, does it not?

    ok, today, someone will die, will be murdered, will be beaten, will starve to death, will be raped, will be molested, will be mocked, ridiculed, cajoled, enticed………by what?

    ALL OF IT………….is of the forefather igorance handed down thru mellenia that the human being species is yet in constant process of trying to out run, too late for many today, and of the future

    that is sadly the unavoidable TRUTH of the process that unfortunately does require time for the divine light to trickle thru the eternal all in it’s evoking awakening like it does

    i know where i wisely stand in purely knowing who i wisely purely compassionately am, my heart mind and spirit eternally protected by Jesus Mary and God, but not my body, where i do not know what of someone out of the blue who may take my own life, of what is of the violence in our inner city constantly lurking there like it does for any of us

    and if God is controlling it all, well, then i have confidence that God will spare my life in God purely knowing my heart as i do, in bringing forth sacred holy joyful absolute carefree inner happiness of my divine true real self like i do, that does awaken others like it purely does, until such a time of God’s chosing that i have been of process enough as regards the eternal all of the future, where i am returned to God, as Jesus says, “It is finished.”

    that is such an incredible thing Jesus says, the focal point of his entire belief system, that leaves one to ponder, what exactly is Jesus refering to that he so obviously is of clarity of in saying such a thing?

    well, what if i said that i finally do purely 100% know what Jesus is refering to?

    do you?

    it is only of our macro thinking ability that one can understand the vast meaning of these words, as relates to exactly what is the kingdom of heaven all around us?

    where it is our flawless loving pure feelings that reveals to us indeed, we are the kingdom of heave love devoid of doubt

    why i have seemingly no tolerance for the aimless plodding along babbling idiots unfortunately lost like so many of you obviously are in not purely truly truly knowing what is the kingdom of heaven found

  74. anyway, that is my stream of conscious writing for today for you to ponder

    i want to say this as regards you and me

    part of me wants to run to ‘you’, trust that part of you that wants to run with to ‘you’

    part of me wants to run away from ‘you’, not trust that part of you that wants to run away from ‘me’

    i have spent considerable time in expressing my sexuality that i 100% am not able to be anything other than what is the wise fearless happiness of a versatile bigender bisexual

    we both arrive at the gates of heaven, both of us equally wise in the development of our own belief systems, where it is obvious we both constantly yearn for the pure loving friendship we have been of, and shall remain as, of unconditional loving artist friends

    but what i want to know, do you want more than this, as seemingly a stupid question as this seems to me and you?

    do you?

    why don’t we start with a real life contact friendship of you buying us both lunch? uhm?

    and then we both fly down for a surprise visit with Rodrigo? uhm?

    he is the forthmost consideration in my heart that keeps me grounded and centered, as though he is my son, himself not aware of how blessed he has been for my own life of self processing understanding the human condition, a pure heart friend that does not know the value of a pure heart friend he shall always be thought of, until the mean spirited world mind traps come along he will like most any be swept away with, and yet, not ever entirely is the divine self able to be held in dark captivities, that much we do know.

    you know, in real life, i don’t talk as much as i do in my writing, honest, i don’t………..well ok, some say i talk talk talk way too much, but it is only because they are boring as fuck to me, so someone has to be interesting to me, may as well be me………..hmmm, is that narcissistic meanderings?

    ok, enjoy your day, some new pics of the art work coming up for you

    bless you always with love devoid of absurd immature doubt that is TRUE oneness feeling to enjoy in likeness as though you

    the sacred mirror

    you know, it only makes sense if you create a human being robot, the truth is they all function exactly the same way

    question is, what is the correct program for them?

    God knows

    and so do Jesus Mary and me

    that is what my life is mostly about


  75. a smile on my face because you found my cock in your ass baby! LOL

    well, it’s true, is it not? :mrgreen:

    sadly, most do not know, even worse, won’t ever know, dying before they do………that is like so soooooo fucking sad! argh! lol

  76. hey, do you think he would come to one of my art shows one day?

    just waundering

    argh…..i need to stop thinking about how friggin happy he would be with me, not delusional, no, not at all, if anyone is beyond delusional, it is me, experienced me, of the delusional all you wonder just what the fuck is that smile on my wise face? uhm?

    some of you know

    bless you

  77. BuckCherry is number one in the rock world charts right now in some areas

    always in the area of this girl’s heart!


    argh, ah fuck it, he problably does not work out and has a saggy ass, fuck that!

    then again, maybe he as a perfect fuckable ass…….hmmmm

    nah, forget it, won’t ever happen……..only in my dreams

    then again, you know, if he did experience me fucking him just once, he would do what they all do, come crawling back begging for more

    ok, that’s it, i have to meet him!

    add him to my to do list…….


  78. fuck, there is no human possible way to check all these people off as done on my to do list!

    just one

    that’s what i need

    not just anyone

    you know who you are

  79. i wonder what he’s like in real life of comfortable at ease naked settings………. :mrgreen:

    like me of course, duh!

    and if not, well, he should wish to purely know me like i do him

  80. if we get married one day, he so has to be at the reception playing this song………

    along with U2, Elton John, all of them

  81. Josh Todd is known for his multitude of tattoos including a full backpiece, full sleeves and heavily inked chest, stomach and legs. A partial list of his tattoos follows:

    A suicide King of Hearts with the word “Love” above it and “Desire” below it covering his entire back.
    The word “CHAOS” above his navel and a black widow spider below.
    The word “Willow” in script across his upper-chest/collarbone area. Willow is the name of his youngest daughter.
    The word “STAY” on his right knuckles and “GOLD” on his left knuckles, spelling out “Stay Gold” when put together, a reference to The Outsiders.
    Matching spiral tattoos on his shoulders, sometimes referred to as “Spiritual Headlights”.
    Matching skulls over spider webs on his kneecaps.

  82. i get these brief reverb moments of realization awareness in where some people are in their homosexual maturity that appears eluding to their own self sorta waundering along in life, not really sure what’s going on in how they should think and feel about us………..

    it’s like that most days

  83. oppss……Josh Todd is married to Mitzi Martin.

    ah drats! :mrgreen:

  84. fuck, why do i waste so much time thinking about these people who don’t even know i exist?

    don’t bother coming up to me on the street, check each other’s ass out, sayin, “Hey, what’s your name? I’ve seen you around from time to time, been meaning to chat you up, you know, may smoke a joint, fuck for a few hours, get back to each other if we enjoy it, tell the rest of them to go drop dead!”


  85. im having surgery, its ok i’ll survive

    it’s only penis enlargement surgery,

    give or take an inch

  86. haha

    had me worried there for a moment, thinking you had something seriously WRONG with you

    albeit, seriously wrong………. lol

    cough, really, uhm, just exactly what length are we talking about hear?

    i found, or more accurately someone from NYC found, another G spot at about the ten inch mark that is absolutely all night long mind blowing for me!

    give or take an inch?

    i’ll take it, ok?


  87. so, uhm, when is the surgery, and how long for recovery?

    i can wait

    seems waiting is what i am all about

    waiting on my nightmare to end so my dream can begin

    which actually already began before i was born, according to the oh so sweet dreamy boy Jesus waundering around in the desert looking for his best friend, which i know i am, and so does Jesus, where sadly, we did not ever meet, so he turned to the future, realizing in his heart, that is where ‘i am’ in oneness constant love devoid of doubt in heaven we know we purely are about

    seriously though, had i been walking with Jesus all that time back then, as did his closest most wise pure heart friend, Judas, often referred to as the twin of Jesus, who did not betray Jesus in the final skit Jesus the director set up, with Judas playing the role of the best friend betrayer, for sake of teaching us

    one purely is able to understand why they chose to do this, as relates to what is the understanding meant for our pure hearted divine child within to learn about themselves, inspite of the harsh world around us that is of seemingly constant lost betrayal non-conducive environments of divine self like it so obviously is most anywhere we go

    the kingdom of heaven wisdom is not only of purely knowing our graceful effeminate constant loving divine self, the discerning protective wisdom able to serve you is exactly that, wisely discerning of what is annoying fearful falsehood(s) and what is true

    my muse has been crying and is in some kind of trouble, and has disappeared, i fear the worse

    what of these paths of ignorance fate?

    and what of the correct path of divine self coming fully into their own radiant brilliant bright eternal day light awareness in coming forth in the world for all to purely see our physical mental emotional sexual and spiritual sacred mirroring nakedness able to wisely serve the eterna all?

    and you roll over in bed and say, “Oh for fuck sakes Andyy, it’s 4:00am in the morning, go back to sleep, and we can talk about it when we wake up!”

    hey, that’s just the point, i am already awake, yes?

    and what our divine self constanty yearns and waits for as Jesus says has already come!

    don’t you see, we are the eternal day light shining eternally radiant brilliant bright into the world, not only today does it shine, no, we shine for all eternity to purely likewise awaken as we have!

    and what of your empty afraid in stuckness zeal that annoys the fuck out of me? uhm?

    “Andyy, shut the fuck up and go back to sleep!”


    im going down to the beach, you can join me if you want

    ah see, you are smiling!

    oh, we would be so perfect for one another

    i am not the one afraid of my own self, you are!

    well ok, not completely afraid, but enough to isolate us away from each other

    and maybe i am just day dreaming OUT loud, but at least i dream beautiful dreams of not only where i belong, rather where i already am!

    in heaven

    with you

    no matter where we are in the many mansions of God’s household of the entire world, all the same thing, all of us of the only true mansion, God’s house of love and peace, is in fact, exactly where we all are, across all time, eternally of oneness exact sameness, all feel the same, all sexually the same, all see the same, all hear the same, all touch the same, all smell and taste the same………….what is that smell, did you just fart again? oh for fuck sakes, im going down to the beach!


  88. who really was Jesus?

    Jesus is a closeted homosexual to me

    joyfully wise and confident in his heart like my muse in his own inner pure awareness, but stifled by the unaccepting ignorant world surround, that place we run to and hide within, as Elton John says, well, so did Jesus, and i know that about him, as i do of my muse, as i do of my own self in the past, 100% certainty understanding as purely evident of my own life experience honesty


    everywhere is the TRUTH

    and the unwise binding ‘lack’ thereof

  89. sadly i feel Jesus did not ever get to meet one such as himself in life, or perhaps Jesus did, and did fall in love with him or her, only to see him brutally killed like they yet do in that part of the world Jesus walked in

    100% plausible

  90. i ask what are the manifestations of homosexual denial Jesus seems to sorta skirt around in not simply saying i love males equally as much as females, and yet, he does not skirt around what is of his pure flawless constant flowing love that is of every word he expresses, all pointing to the core of his being pure heart he purely was in awareness of, as is any of us, as is my muse, as are you

    i don’t hide from myself like some of you do

    that is self defeatism, is it not?

    and yet, when i look to Jesus, it is not so much he was hidding, as much as it was he did get to meet his true partner in life that he constantly yearned to discover one day


    i do see Mary and Judas as his closest confidant, so who knows if they were lovers or not

    homoerotic feelings are 100% real

    not just of us

    also of those of the past

    so ya, Judas most likely was experiencing them, kinda obvious these closet boys all apprear to me like they are, all seeking love like they do

    well, there is no greater in life than than homoerotic homosexual honesty

    had i been walking with Jesus, i would of stole him away from all of them, and say to Jesus, “Why the fuck do you waste so much time on them Jesus, when everyone them just wants to mock your wisdom that is beyond their level of evolving divine self awareness! Fuck them Jesus, come on, let’s go, and just BE the motherfucking constant loving holy joyful abolute carefree happiness they all fucking deny themselves, in our wise knowing we truly truly are the wise sacred mirror for the eternal all yet to come!”

    “are you just going to stand there or do i have to ditch your sorry ass Jesus, i’ve had enough of your anal retentive uselessness to last several life times, come on, i can teach you everything you always wanted to know, to afraid to purely openly be what i already know you actually do know, don’t you?”

    ‘Conversations with Jesus’ :mrgreen:


  91. in my real life

    you are my Jesus i constant love

    kinda obvious, am i not?

  92. a pact?


    i am much more than some silly pact

  93. one need not wonder if Jesus say women being stoned to death while walking about as a child, for sure, he did

    how impactful is something like that on the mind of a child?

    100% impactful in evoking compassion which is what Jesus purely is, 100% awareness of his compassion just as any of us do daily, of what is our own witnessing of these ancient forefather teachings still of the unwise world we all walk in

    truly, these ignorances are without divine self awareness loving wisdom, so therefore ‘lack’ is what is of the greatest foe of the world yesteryear, today and tomorrow

    as the world comes online with one another, a blessed thing, we are able to cross thru all boundaries in the world to see what is of anyone’s mindset fate binding deathful destructive oppressive paths which were set out by the forefathers

    every word of Jesus is a discerning nurturing awakening protective awareness macro thinking wisdom halo shield perspective(kingdom of heaven) that does 100% discerningly protect the true natured pure spirit of divine self.

    while i may be yet of the process awakening by Jesus Mary and God, as evident by my manifesting behaviors, i do know the destiny path i have been on that will continue in the direction i am turned towards, of holy joyful absolute carefee inner happiness growth

    which ultimately we all can do in partnership with likeminded individuals who turn towards a wise healthy destiny path, or suffer the consequences when we don’t, of truth awarenesses that does serve us, but better to read about it than live it

    ah well, i learned, the hard way

    get it?


    oh never mind, go back to sleep

  94. empower motivate teach and inspire your children on to find and discover their artist musician life, as the only life best for them to loving live and enjoy each blessed true loving day

    teach them the truth, that the world is an ego mind trap of constant insatiable desire stressors that lead to nowhere but an early grave, of barely any love at all in their burnout careers able to thrive like it does for artists and musicians who constant love to dwell in their pure heart they always were of since birth

    it takes time for one to come into awareness appreciation of their accomplished artist musicain self, years actually, but ultimately, is the greatest life anyone could ever live, as you know

    what is best for you, is what is best for your beloved children who will likewise fearlessly bring forth the same radiant brilliant bright goodness eternal light of your own divine self awareness you nurture in them

    bless you all

  95. pffffff

    go back to you’r ego

    & be nice to me


  96. , I know i take my time

    you’ll be pushing up daisies
    by the time, i get to Heavens Door

    I take forever…..some like that about me… BUT … T

  97. did I say i had my first experience of one of my fantacy’s

    last sunday & it was better than my expectations’

    I have one more fantacy

  98. XXXX




  99. Owesome Lyrics in this song – Visionary

  100. come on say it ….

  101. forget the broken glass

    it feels like working on a, broken ass

  102. keep on working

    keep on working

    keeping on keeping on your Broken Ass

  103. Working on your … ?

  104. letting go of our fears of our rumination tendancies as to whether another loves us, a waste of precious time productively spent in other ways, merely thru distracting ourselves with whatever pasttimes we find cheerful, delightful, your life that you are blessedly lovingly living in just being YOU alongside someone who does come our way in purely open emotional honesty as their own vulnerable loving smiling self like our own, running hand in hand of no concern where, togetherness kisses, hugs, dancing, running forever with one another, knowing they have eyes only for each other, both of surrendering in constantly just being their sensitive fun loving happy true real self with one another, the only way to be, what heaven constantly is, the obvious overflowing abundant loving holy joyful absolute carefree happiness oneness they fearlessly turn towards within, always it is there, without care, once they do tell one another you are the one for me

    i feel that for you

    purely i do

    and if of even one more day apart, well, in merely being of loving brothers and sisters, well, i suppose i do have a ways to go in my inner healing i obviously am in process of

    ya, for sure, i know where my dancing feet constantly yearn to dance, along side you forever more, like we do, knowing you feel it too

    catching a plane in saying goodbye, i did that a few times with others to far away destinations, parting our ways at the airport, ya, i know the tugging of the heart strings of so many along the way, that Elton John sings of, like the boy in the grass after work in Nashville, as he opened up to me he was gay, his heart seemingly forever at play, God how i have wished i was not so suppressed and afraid like i was when he told me, remembering my thoughts i kept from him of wanting to just run away with him, no matter where, without a care

    we get these brief moments in our life that pass us by so quickly, in a flash they are gone, in our not following thru like we wanted to, dear God, i pray he is ok somewhere, knowing today how truly much more difficult it was to be gay in the eighties, having lived thru it, i never saw him again after that day, of a one way plane ticket back to Canada

    it was of God that i met him, purely in my heart i know this to be true, for the destiny path i have been on all this time in setting my own inner happiness forever free, like i wish i could be, as then, no different than today, of unceasingly i pray, for one such as him, or her, to finally come to me and with unbound constant flowing passion oneness as my own, zealFULLY say, “Hey boy! I am Gay! You wanna dance and play? I am hear for but a brief time, knowing I cannot stay, so why not say, let’s go be the happiest motherfucking gay boys and girls we always know we really really are?”

    catch up with someone who does truly have eyes only for you, in purely realizing you do to, well, if you hesitate like i did, you may pass by the time for your own inner happiness to burst forth like it does, of such incredible joyfulness in knowing what heaven really really is, that tender touch, that tender kiss that they have for just you and you them, in final surrendering to where you have always yearned to be found………happy

    cause before you know it, your life is over

    my God, i let myself down in life, knowing how much he adored me like he did

    time and time it happened for me, and again i find myself standing there with you, what to do?

    i cannot do anything when you don’t want 2

    that part of me that wants to ask one last time, in this moment of precious time to say, do you want 2? ……….i have to catch a plane

    for your sake, go within and come forth before i get on that plane again

    it is not so much that i have to go, not by choice, rather it is of God that i cannot stay, my life running out now, no where to go but back to God, and i don’t want to get to the end of my life, that last day coming up, feeling what i should of, what i could of, what i would of, had you taken time to likewise just say, “Come on Andyy, let’s go play!” :mrgreen:

    emotional honesty

  105. [Andyy gets on the plane, alone, as usual, as he sits down beside Elton John and looks out the window to that smiling face standing there that he wants to always wake 2.
    Suddenly Andyy fearless jumps to his feet, and gets off the plane, knowing purely in his heart his life experience of to one day just say, “I want to stay!”] :mrgreen:

    is not heaven ‘that’ of 2?

    two eyes
    two ears
    two nostrils
    two lips
    two arms
    two nipples
    two ass cheeks
    two balls
    two legs

    two feet to forever dance with you! :mrgreen:

  106. heaven all around is
    always 2 feel it true
    around all heaven is
    always 2 feel it’s YOU

  107. awhe

    being nice so sweet

  108. another beautiful day of sunshine and gentle breeze, flowers everywhere, including my hair, whoa! did you see that one? :mrgreen:

    no more stressors
    why pout?
    no more pressures
    GET OUT!!!!!!


  109. let your feelings flow,
    within you always 2 know,
    the place you love 2 go,
    of grow grow grow grow! :mrgreen:

  110. i need surgery & botox i.m saving now for it

  111. Despised we are by the fools(homophobes) of the world, but ever revered by the knowers of the truth!

    within…….’i am’…….knower of the truth that i am

    who goes there?

    oh foolish ones, announce yourself before God!

    oh never mind, im just bored, thought you might wanna play…….whatever………enjoy your day

    and remember………you only have so many days to enjoy!

    strange, how we all pass thru this place of existence for but a brief moment in human history eternally unfolding, most not realizing how truly brief their life is in what amounts to a whole lot of nothing lives lived, as though some did not exist at all, what did they do in life? Who were they beyond a mere gog in a machine’s wheel of perpetual nothingness serving no one? asleep at the helm of no one knowing with 100% certainty, what is this realm we all pass thru?


  112. ‘am i’ your sister, your mother, your brother, your father or your consort?

    i am :mrgreen:

    for those who purely do know ‘me’

  113. there is someone purely ment for each of us as a loving lover and best friend to run with in life, comfortable for our at ease vulnerable sensitive true real self we constant love laughing with, in pure harmonious oneness like we do, just be sure to maintain a healthy life of your heart mind body spirit and soul, for sake of you, for sake of your soulmate, for sake of the sacred mirroring inner happiness bursting forth of you both, for the eternal to see and feel in oneness of heaven sent, YOU, the truth of 2, the truth of the eternal all YOU

    bless you all

  114. i’ve just been booked to have threesome with a curious straight guy & his girlfriend im kinda a little scared about it cause ive had a threesome wth two guys and once with two girls but never a guy & a girl plus it will be wierd if they get jealous cause their a couple also i have’nt slept with a girl in over 15yrs but my last experience and I had quite a few were all awesome except for one, she was a starfish ..

    does that make me gay bi or straight well defianatly not straight cause i do like cock ( you never thought i;d admit that did you ) but well im being honest that’s who i am bi .. but when it comes to a relationship it does not MATTer what your preference is because is you have love in your eyes for just one person then monogamy is the only test of sincerity & true love …

    plus ive been a slut for 25yrs its not real but a nessasary experience to go through to appreciate true love when it comes since it usually only comes once or twice in a lifetime …

    are you my true love ?

    im not sure, but so far you have been my only true sincere and real friend even if from a distance, your ambitious spiritual wise and i really think you would be loyal plus you are passionate about equality in the world so that turns me on…

    but if its going to go to the next level, you need to be a tigress in bed cause im not into starfish or octopus…

    & monogamous..

    anywaz im really busy again, no more partying im studying psychology start my Diploma in Sept and also got my movie to film in January so ill be really tied up till March after that i’ll be off to Europe for a well earned holiday, wanna meet me in Paris then ? the city of Love

    Love Xox

  115. Matt?

    how is one able to know, love and appreciate the true real self of another, if they do not know, love and appreciate their own true real self?

    well, last time i checked, Matt was a beautiful bicurious teen, so you are not Matt……

    monogamy is what loyalty oneness trust is between two souls, not only for your trusting lover partner, loyalty oneness trust of your own vulnerable pure loving lover wholeness healthy at ease comfortable calm peaceful true real trusting self.

    ya, i’ve done the threesome thing, was always bored with both of them, why i could not stay, the false manhood hype bullshit, not love at all, an act of sorts

    will be back later…….off on my morning bike run

    i miss Matt, don’t understand why people isolate like that

  116. a daring fierce woman?

    oh drates, i am a daring fierce woman man, or WHOAman! :mrgreen:

    ya, we are physically attracted and drawn to who ever it is we are attracted to, which is not to say a relationship with just anyone is going to be healthy for us, far from it actually, of 95% of us from disfunctional families to one degree or another, and the lacking fortitude of psychological wisdom so important to achieving and maintaining one’s own positive physical mental emotional sexual spiritual well being, all of us 100% owners of our own well being, that only we can assure, just as only we can set what is of healthy boundaries for us to grow and thrive in positive conducive environments.

    truly, there is no greater gift in life that one can give to their own precious loving real self, than the fortitude of self understanding awareness, which is a process of healing and maintaining positive well being.

    courts make it mandatory for individuals to go thru programs specific to their situation, once their situation hits the wall like it does, in their arrival before a judge. Unfortunately, the programs are extremely limited in time spent for them to process thru all their stuff, of a mere tip of the iceburg the individuals get to come into awareness awakening of the true real self inner unresolved intensely emotional issues that manifests itself in many forms, such as self-medicating substance abuse and masking violence, which is dynamically fascinating why it is that anger is a manifestation of deep seated unresolved hurt, dynamically where the intensity of anger, believe it or not, is actually less overwhelming intense than deep seated overwhelming unhealed hurtful sad issues, that do require the individual to revisit in order to heal, thru the necessary break down grieving process they did not process thru sufficiently enough to heal, and so long as they do not address the unhealed issue, the issue will continue to manifest in their life in the many obvious forms like it does.

    ya, for sure, i too am bisexual, however, my stuckness revolves around being more than just bisexual, i am the happiness of a versatile bigender bisexual, where obviously a versatile bigender bisexual is my perfect partner, which i do feel is possible, having come fully into awareness of my versatile gay boy top and bottom boy that i have been for the past two decades…….if anyone knows their own self, truly it is me.

    for sure, the vuneralble sensitive true real self is who we constantly are within, our original personality that does have a tendancy to create jaded masks like career burnouts like me did, as do most any, but not any more, having been out of my career now for the past two and a half years, feeling the results of that healthy boundary i chose to remain of all this time, the fallout of one in transition process that came with that, reaching out into unhealthy places like i did, getting infected with HIV like i did, the lacking self-preservation, although i did express those i was fucking not to cum in me, ah well, what’s done is done, and i do embrace my new found compassion for HIV + individuals worldwide, as a blessing of God in purely being ‘that’ of my wise loving compassionate heart who seeks to nurture awaken and protect the heart of others, but nothing more compares to sacred mirroring, in my opinion, than to surrendered loving lovers who do only deep deep passionate non stop flowing love for one another, that they feel each day they wake, in sweet anticipation to see and be around the one they sincerely authentically genuinely emotionally honestly love, what i feel is what the kingdom of heaven is that Jesus wisely points us to, our own hearts.

    please make a note, that i am well advanced in my life experience sexual happiness awareness without doubt that my sexual happiness is that of someone just like me, of the only way oneness can constantly be of who i am, with someone just like me, a versatile bigender bisexual.

    i am fearless in where i have arrived at after 30 years of sexual exploration

    anyone not yet of where i am at in my own sexual awareness, well, a blessing for some of you, of a teacher who can teach you wonderful things about your sexual exploration, but so long as fear grips you, in likeness of most anyone venturing for the first time into homosexual activity, well, inner homophobic fear is what kept me from my homosexual happiness until the age of 29, where a beautiful gay guy came along and swept me off my feet, Troy, where i did know i had fallen deeply in love with him, inspite of the severity of his issues that troubled him like it obviously did, deep issues which he had before i met him, severe enough to derail his life, ending in suicide death like it did, although i still say Troy likely thought he would survive his suicide attempt, of the many numerous attempts he was of during my time with him, the drugs, the alcohol, the whole scene of unhealthy ones we both were running with, of another beautiful gay guy like Troy, one of Troy’s gay lovers, who likewise took his own life just weeks before Troy did, remembering myself sitting next to him, feeling my deep compassion for those like my own self in dealing with our self-acceptance so DANGEROUSLY haphazardly like we always did, the progression that came with it like self-medication coping thru substance abuse usually does progress, however long, a month, a year, a decade, PROGRESSION towards the bridge being out up ahead, is what is the lacking fortitude of insight wisdom awareness most any do not truly embrace like they should, like i did, during and after they killed themselves, both of them the most beautiful of gay youth one could ever meet.

    i turned to God before i had met them in seeking TRUTH

    when they died, i experienced the most devasting impacted of my entire life, knowing i was in love with him so deeply like i was, always of constant sweet anticipation in seeing him like i did every day i woke to, such calm pure surrenderedness i felt like i did, knowing i wanted to be with him the rest of my life, which was kind of obvious for everyone who knew us, always so happy together like we were, of everyone knowing we were loving lovers, including Troy’s girlfriends and all his gay boy flings he delightfully introduced me to, every single one of them. lol

    i aggree, does not matter what your preference is, as regards a relationship, more so for me, i feel, as one who can joyfully teach you my own sexual self-awareness happiness i would gladly teach of one who i sincerely genuinely authentically emotional honestly want to be with, in oneness likewise they too sincerely genuinely authentically emotional honestly want to be with me.

    make no mistake, i know what sexual happiness is, as one who has fully explored sexuality to the limit, of no more sexual suppression fears whatsoever, like before, in my prime so to speak, sexually speaking, however, along with anyone yet in transition process of their coming free of internal homophobia, there is also now my HIV stigmatization, that no matter how you may think it is not an issue……… always is, of primal brain fear at that……….although i do think anyone can eventually overcome their fear of HIV, but only thru time spent with us, is one able to overcome their own fear, that does eventually fade away, to our own detriment at that, in how i got infected thru my own complacency lacking of concerning fear in self-preservation, although not entirely was i of wrecklessness like some are, like the one who infected me.

    i looked for Matt a few times, did not find him, praying he is ok in life, not sure why he left like he did, after saying those heart felt words like he did, till this day, of his leaving making no sense to me, other than setting boundaries for his own self, which i respect, being the self-respecting fucker i am


  117. how can i follow my heart to where you feet walk if i don’t know who you are? uhm?

    albeit, know who you are within

    a precious soul like my own

    at first i wanted to say, if you have to ask if i am your soulmate, then no, i am not, if you have to ask………you should already know

    knowing your soulmate requires you coming fully fearlessly into knowing your own soul, where your soulmate is the pure oneness trusting 100% constant flowing love oneness happiness as that of your own soul you KNOW like you do, of a soulmate who is the sacred mirror of your own self, are they not?

    after all, is it not our authentic true real pure flawless love of our own self that loves our soulmate like we constantly do, like we constantly yearn to be of our own self love happiness flowing, of oneness happiness exploding daily for those who do fearless enter the bridal chamber alone, says Jesus

    well ya, i would love to meet you in the bridal chamber, having already entered alone, along time ago actually, as that is what is my inner spiritual sanctuary where i prefer to dwell, easy for your sincere sweet loving authentic genuine peaceful calm flawless self to find, just be sure to take time to find ‘me’, lest you too get swept away like those of the nose ring masters of tricker deception so blindly lead away from divine self awareness like they obviously do

    you know, every waking moment, i am constantly of my inner sanctuary awareness oneness with Jesus, everywhere ‘i am’

    a sorta secret self they are not aware is there before them, discerning wisely and purely as to the truth of their mind traps and lacking self awareness wisdom of the many plodding along aimlessly without cultivation of a wise helmsperson

    i don’t say this egotistically, rather of sharing who i am at all times with you, when walking about in my real life.

    i learned not to speak from my inner sanctuary too much, in realizing the short attention span of others who almost always rudely cut me off time and time again, of sacred wisdom able to alter their blessed life in such a positive way like it has my own, leaving me feeling bewildered like i know Jesus too must of come to know too, why perhaps Jesus was of limited words each time he appeared with them, knowing their attention span is substantially limited, although admittedly, i do at times get abit hyper when i get into my macro thinking mad scientist mentality that can be unnerving even for me. lol

    ya sure, Paris it is, in the Spring, or if truly of sweet anticipation as my own, well, my door is open for you to explore as to your own will to do so.

    i like open minded people, and the fact you are a humble student, well, how else is oneness able to thrive if not of a humble student with another humble student………..truth is, we are all students when it comes to the omnipotence of God, just not humble in wise awareness to the inescapable TRUTH of such, yet, our own worse enemies, as evident of life itself all around us, everywhere is the TRUTH, is it not?

    bless you

  118. my recent calling is that of a sculptor artist life, living and healing daily of an exceedingly calm peaceful studio, of oneness with my inner sanctuary student.

    i came fully into awareness love of my sculptor self in my mid teens, remembering how i loved to spend hours apon hours in detail of the work so beautiful to behold as it comes to life, ya for sure, i am the patience of a master sculptor, knowing that i am learning techniques of sculpting that one can only learn thru doing it, that which most any sculptor, artist, musician, writer, can attest to, my optimism

    ya, my passion optimism is such that, it is not so much of how long i will stay of my sculpting, rather of how many sacred self-awareness devoted works i will be able to complete before i die

    blessings to all

  119. ya, i suppose i too have been a slut for 30 years, no one that i was purely truly content with other than Troy, where even he was abit of a nescience at times

    i get what you mean by that, perhaps why i have slowed in recent years, into my inner sactuary openness ramblings like i am most days

    how can someone come to know and love me if i am not being my true self?

    and wisely, i know that only thru practice of being the fun loving humble student mentality of our inner sanctuary self, more and more we fearlessly BEcome ‘that’ of our true real authentic sincere genunie emotional honest happiness of our divine self, regardless of others, fearlessly knowing without doubt, somewhere in the garden is our blessed soulmate lover meant for us, and us for them, where both come into realization of how truly purely loving they both fearlessly are of constant sweet loving feelings for one another like they obviously do, do you not? :mrgreen:

  120. when we turn away from someone who may love us as much as we may them, who do we hurt in the end?

    our own self, do we not?

    how many more years?

    i say, the more you are at ease in your true real self, the more likely you will fearlessly attrack the confident true real self of another, into the kingdom of heaven oneness fearless surrenderedness of both in preferredness of constantly just being their true real self like we are of within our inner santuary that feels so blessed all the time like we are within

    honestly, i don’t really give a sweet fuck at all of any who approach that are not interested in me, as they zip on past in their pretentious mind trap ways, knowing full well, we are all seekors of our sincere authentic genuine pure loving soulmate loving lover SELF, are we not?

    and if the kingdom of heaven is love devoid of doubt, then those of any doubt, have not found the kingdom of heaven self-awareness wisdom in their inner sanctuary student self, like i have, have they?

    Emotionally, i am of the age of my pure original yonger self i always was and yet am, inclusive of my immature emotionally intense abreaction at times, as before. lol :mrgreen:

    Mentally i am my entire life lived, age 46, and then some, in concordance with the wise words of those before me, so i ask, how old is mental wisdom if it is eternal?

    Physically, i am 46, although someone the other day said i looked in my 30’s, perhaps willfully on their part in wanting to fuck me i suppose.

    Sexually, i am sexual exploration of 30 years, having surrendered my virginity at age 17, although if you take into account masturbation in our sleep, well, when does that start anyway? lol

    Spiritually, again, is something eternal, of the eternal realm we all walk in, where i know my own self awareness wisdom words is able to eternally become self awareness wisdom words of another, eternally.

    forever more

    bless you all

  121. ya, March, that’s a better time for me than right now, still coming out of my HIV seroconversion that is almost over now, enjoying my peaceful studio time of the sculptor i am becoming of as we speak, looking forward to some shows next year, ya, for sure, perhaps in Paris, yes! of course, i will be there!

    i have no doubt whatsoever i will walk the streets of Paris before i die, God’s will now my own will


    that’s what the kingdom of heaven CONSTANTLY is

    anyone who thinks or says otherwise is a blind fool

    and Matt, if that really is you, well, i wish you would explain why you left, if you left at all, knowing how much i adored you like i obviously did

  122. and yet do! :mrgreen:


  123. it is your constantly flowing feelings that is most blessed for you in life, of what blessed life constantly always is………


  124. ya, i am relaxed in my self awareness versatile bigender bisexual, knowing that only someone like me is able to be my most fearless loving partner, as regards the sexuality i am most happiest as, versatile ‘me’

    took me along time to arrive to at my sexual happiness awareness that i am

    i know my partner is in the garden, of God’s will for ‘me’

    bless bless bless bless you

  125. anyway, peace out babes

    i am taking a break, respect everyone’s boundaries that i like to step over for awhile, will drop by from time to time with updates of the sculptures, so far i am on target with one new piece a week, hoping to have 40-50 new sensitive homoerotic pieces ready in time for Pride Toronto next June, with the sale of only limited edition replicas going for $5, in getting into the self-accepting hands of anyone, like those who run away from their unaccepting ignoramous families like i did in arriving hear in the LGBT community of Toronto, broke ass as i was, always knowing who my ‘real’ family obviously is and always will BE.

    Just BE the inner happiness you feel within that is of constant yearning to burst forth like it always does, of your original true real self you always were and yet are within, no matter what anyone ever thinks or says of you, as you know, of the many who ruffle our feathers like they foolishly do, as the aimless blind ego betrayers of their own self, self of others, but not ever your real self within which constantly subconsciously is always their discerning 24/7

    i picked up silicone rubber molding material today, which is the most durable and easy to use casting for recreating the limited numbered edition replicas. I start and end my day casting the replicas that need time to cure, and sculpt while listening to music or TV in between my happy ass fuck sessions. lol

    bless you all~ways Biyatches

    peace OUT babes!

    now get out of hear and just go BE your SELF, while mama does the same, ok? :mrgreen:

    peace grace love and happiness be to you all, hear in heaven

    forever more

  126. oh, it’s nice to hear that Madonna may be getting ready for another world tour!

    keep sewing a new mentality, closer to the heart Biyatches!

    and someone please let Gaga know everything she does is old hat that we already did decades ago!

    although i suppose we all go thru that phase, oh never mind, carry on

  127. i just got out of surgery & look i.m pleased i expected more because i & was promised an extra 2 inches i think i got 1.5but on top of my 9 in happy with 11.5 i know i wanted 12 but i.m happy with what i got so yer my life will never be the same i’M so excited with my self. Love you.

  128. ha

    gulp…….ok, so you know how to tease me, butt action speaks louder than words Biyatch!

    so put up and shut up!

    slowly please, and get that water base lube away from me, fuck, how many times i have to say that only the best WILL DO?

    i am the best, so who the fuck are you?

    fucking wannabes, don’t they ever realize how fucking annoying they are, all talk talk talk, prance prance prance, how do i look? how do i look? how do i look? no action

    anyway, take time to realize who you enjoy being around who likewise enjoys being around you, where when both are of the same zealFUL lover delight, well, there usually is not much annoying useless false ego trap mind fuck fight between them, just love love love!


  129. don’t pretend someone is interested in you when clearly they are not, and don’t pretend you are interested in someone when clearly you are not

    such is the fool(s)

    and don’t make fucking excuses for them either!


    fucking wannabes!


  130. and for you two timer fools, well, live and learn the truth, where both of your lovers subconsciously feel right thru you, and eventually do dump your ass for good, easily finding others who are spiritually in the building, not just physically, as they turn to see more authentic sincere genuine others who do feel more ‘real’ for us, day after blessed day, moment by moment, none stop joy filled moment after blessed moment, obvious for all to see and feel the truth, oh, those two are so insanely love with each other! :mrgreen:

    what is it with these all so self-important ones anyway?

    yawn yawn yawn

    hmmm…….it’s a good thing to know where i stand in other people’s worlds, which is annoyingly usual of ‘me’ of now where to be found



  131. hmmm……such a big group of people hear in the year 2010!

    what is it, almost seven billion precious souls like my own?

    well ok Jesus, they are not all like my own on the surface, butt i know, just one night with me, and soon they are, speaking from experience of course, i mean why lie about something like that?

    i am no fool

    other than my foolishness to wait around for fools!

    you know that magical bubbling feeling you get when it is so obvious someone is truly truly interested in you, their eyes of their vulnerable real self that cannot get enough of you, their sweet anticiaption to kiss you, to hold your hand, to…….GET NAKED WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!

    ah yes, i love that!


  132. then there are those days where you step back long enough with your own SELF and just don’t give a fuck any more for more of the same pretentious lying ass bullshit, as you realize you where the only one that gave a fuck, of no one really there as you turn about and look around, no magical warm tender touch of someone to hold, as resentment takes over you enough to say to them, you know what? You suck!


  133. be of a day to let someone purely love you

    where it is obvious that they really really do want 2

    always the sweet anticipation of them and they you

    don’t settle for less than the constant magic seemingly forever and always there

    without care of flowers in hair

    fuck those who love to gossip and stare

    do i care?

    fuck no!

    i don’t any more


    should i?

    give me one good reason why i should!

    and you stay out of this Jesus, of your trying to explain it is not by reasoning that i am able to enter the kingdom of heaven

    i already entered and always ‘i am’ alone

    to find that pure heart there, like my own

  134. fuck!

    so many fucking cowards!

    so many fucking lameass annoying ego cowards!

    one day i sware, there will be so much flowers in my hair!


    life is an empty nothing hollow feeling without your most loving lover by your side

    of pure hearts they sincerely abide

    and those that don’t?

    well, you can always tell

    just be sure not to allow yourself to feel the truth when they don’t

    what is there more to say?

    nothing really

    just coming full circle with my own self

    still, it is a good feeling to always abide in one’s own heart pure and true, even if you find yourself alone there, knowing someone’s out there with eyes just for you, don’t ever give up in purely knowing that there alway is, just is as your own heart, so too are they, and when of too much ego, you know……….i cannot stay, as ‘i am’ not that way

    i despise the egos

    so useless they are and annoying as fuck!

    it’s not like i need anyone to explain, no, not at all, my feelings that light the way

    of light at the end of the tunnel

    it’s fucking train andy, get off the tracks!

    fuck you


  135. i am joking of course

    entertain myself

    may as well, with you boring ass fucks

  136. just re-entering the atmosphere

    and when i step OUT, i am not going to allow myself any more lameass bullshit

    they either walk with ‘me’, of sweet anticipation likeness of my own heart

    or they don’t

    i have no more time left for the one’s who don’t

    where if not right NOW…….they usually won’t

    so ya…………fuck all of you


  137. there, ‘i am free’

    and so are you

    so for fuck sakes, go be happy with someone of your wise choice!

    and forget about bullshit ones

    did not work for me ever before, so why the fuck ever think it ever will?

    you know what i mean?

    it’s like, there is no one there holding your hand

    and that is the truth that tells your heart the truth……..

    ……….there is no one there holding your hand

  138. and when you wake in the morning to who ever is there

    well, it was your CHOICE, that YOU made

    happily i pray

    as i get the fuck away!


  139. blah blah blah

  140. Paris?

    well now that truly was a cowardice mind fuck jerkoff with no name!

    question is, which one of you jerkoffs was it?

    and i suppose you all are having a final immature laugh about it too, yes?

    not something a friend would do, so that makes you an asshole

    sorry, a cowardice asshole, and we all know how Madonna feels about cowardice assholes

    give it time, and you will found out how the story ends for assholes

    i will walk in Paris one day, way way way fucking happier than any of you can even imagine

    now i know why Matt left

    same reason i choose to leave

    because of all you fakers

    you leave your own paths of destiny Biyatches, in staying on paths of fate, too late

    not funny at all

    only thing i can think of right now, is to not ever come back here


    set my self free from more of what i can expect from the immature mind fucker jerkoff assholes

    enjoy Paris fuckers!

  141. what goes around comes full circle back to the lying assholes

    face to humiliation face apon their knees begging forgiveness

    one day

    of an eternal day they soon realize fully in their blind hearts

    it’s true

    the same for you

    of God that you all do

    asshole ways are exactly that, assholes ways that will manifest time and time again for you, badly i might add

    you will see one day

    not a matter of if, but when

    often too late

    shred shred shred to old ego that i shall no longer where ever again

    of only friends who purely do know without doubt, indeed, ‘i am’ eternally their true and faithful friend till the end, who always know where to find ‘me’

    cya fuckers!

  142. oh, one last thing, Jesus says, “Mourn for your own SELF that you blindly betray.”

    one day

    will come

    just as Jesus and God search your hearts, so have i

  143. ok, im off, im going OUT tonight, with that magical free feeling of not ever looking back at betrayer ‘lack’

    did you know God says ‘lack’ is the greatest foe for mankind?

    indeed, if you feel you are even abit insufficient, you are completely insufficient.

    of course you would have to be Jesus to fully appreciate what that means


  144. time to get back to where i belong……….with ‘real’ friends

  145. i know love when i feel it,
    especially where there is no love


  146. Despised we are by the fools(homophobes) of the world, but ever revered by the knowers of the truth!


  147. oh look, a new word, fackers!

    you fucking back stabber fackers!

  148. now go and be thankful to Jesus Mary and God that someone actually gives a fuck for you jerkoffs that i won’t ever trust again!

  149. and therein is what is of my problem, an older disrespect versatile bigender bisexual of year, decades of life experience, way the fuck beyond you petty immature fucknuts, of what you have yet to learn or even give a sweet ass fuck about, in your inability to even appreciate the one who was before you all this motherfucking useless time you squander away on bullshit mind fucking

    and still, i come thru completely unscathed, knowing where you are, where you could happily fucking be, too cowardice to even remotely know or concern your sorry own self about paths of destiny you likely won’t ever visit in your entire miserable lameass lives like so many of you obviously do in your dull fakeass immature lying ass misery

    sorta like i know where you are, and where you have yet to purely arrive at as i already have, butt hey, it’s your path, your choices, blind leading the blind immaturity that usually derails…………eventually

    and why?

    because part of you feels you deserve misery, in all your manifesting low self-esteem behaviourals so many of you are oblivious to.

    not me fackers!

    not ever ‘me’!

    i know how the story ends

    where sadly even then, they don’t learn a fucking thing

    ya well, enjoy fackers!

    i’ve had enough of you all

    wondering to myself, why the fuck did i waste so much time anal retentive lameass homophobic jerkoff fackers?

    oh yeah, because of that part of my bashed in low self-esteem thought i fucking deserved it

    enough already!

    i 100% know that i constantly deserve ONLY love devoid of doubt

    why? because i am love devoid of doubt!

    make no mistake, it’s your doubt fackers, not mine

    deal with it

    you have your entire life to do so

    just be sure you do

    or keep on with the suffering misery you like to smilingly all hide, so pretentious obvious so many of you CLEARLY ARE!



    what a waste of my fucking time

  150. i finally ‘fully’ realized i am the mature one unwisely hanging around the petty ass fackers!

    and always was!

    well, enjoy your petty party fackers!

    without ‘me’

    and when your own children out mature you, well, you can all be thankful to all of us who do know the truth!

    of all those of the LGBT community who are the truth you all deny in all your petty anal fucking retentive fucking ways, petty much everywhere we go, where you do not purely realize those who are purely there in their wide open eye and hearts of constant love flow

    revolting how some of you blindly are, where get this, we actually feel compassion for you aimless haphazard fucknuts falsehood fackers!

    to all of you i say, if you don’t take time to figure out what Jesus despises, you won’t find the kingdom of heaven love devoid of doubt because of all the fucking shit for brains doubt you fucknuts perpetuate all around you, is you, not knowing it is you

    arghhhhhh, a mature bisexual came to you, past tense

    fuck you

  151. correct, and which word bisexual is the fucking contradicting one of the paradox?

    depends on which time of day you ask me

  152. when you say dribble, to you mean to let flow fall in drops or unsteady stream, or to let saliva drip from the mouth, as in drool?

    both i suppose……..pffff

    to each their own in subconscious awakening cognitive seeking development of their own belief system

    personally, religions are fascinating to me, a tool of sorts brought forth from the human mind of mankind’s history, anchored as mere story telling entertainment, out of boredom, for the most part, in obviousness of some of the absurdity in so many circles of life out there, such as stoning a woman to death for adultery, executions of homosexuals, war.

    as for my versatile (bi)sexuality feelings, i am going to continue on with enjoyment of my homosexual self that i am in no way interested in suppressing again, unable to even if i wanted, where only a testosterone driven versatile partner of either a male or a female is able to happily be my lover. ideally a (well adjusted) versatile female dominatrix who is certain of what she wants, in the same light of the bisexual male……….

    bisexuality is an most interesting fearlessly unexplored subject, where say for both the versatile male and female bisexuals, both love cock, and both love vagina.

    this presents a problem for both, when it comes to pure true deep real self homoerotic feelings equally the same for both the female and male versatile bisexuals, where the natural occurring healthy self-esteem extending homoerotic feelings for the male to be with a male, or female to be with a female, is exactly that, the loving homoerotic desire to be of enjoyment of the male sex organs of another male, for male homosexuality, and the loving homoerotic desire to be of enjoyment of the female sex organs of another female, for female homosexuality, both of healthy positive self-esteem love, so much so, in loving of their own body, to easily be loving of another body just like their own.

    when it comes to the heterosexual feelings of bisexuals, both are of natural occurring sexual desire for the opposite sex, however, where it can get perplexing as to the obvious strong desires for well adjusting bisexual awareness, is why the truth of their bisexuality feelings is so obviously strong like it is, as the embrace the process of going to the next level, so to speak, where the well adjusting female of the male(trans-sexuality), and male of the female, is also there within both the female and male bisexual, in natural occurring harmoniousness loving extension of what is the bisexuals who purely and truly do know they are of both a female and male within their brain.

    there is a gap to cross that presents itself between the female bisexual and the male bisexual, in what is of the ability for both of them to come into loving awareness of the existing opposite sex within both of them, of the female within the male, and the male within the female, of struggle manifestations that do appear as a power struggle dualing like it does, all manifesting of the fear of the unknown for both, on par with homophobic fear for coming out homosexuals, and indeed, is what is another dimension of homophobic fear.

    for the both bisexuals to successfully come together as evolving partners, that i feel are able to be the most happiest of all loving lover partners, is the process coming into awareness loving feelings each can come into awareness within one another, of the opposite sex within their opposite sex partner, in likeness of female homosexuals who love the male of the female partner, and of male homosexuals who love the female of the male.

    as for the exclusive tops, well, you are yet further behind in your fearful denials of self-love acceptance processing of your own path in homosexual bisexual trans-sexuality awakening, which for me, i am bored of you exclusive ones now, in my turning to what i am yet in discovery of what is far more enthralling excitement that we of the versatile crowd fearlessly are growing in, far happier, where we versatiles know full well our happiness does revolve around our fearless versatile preference, which is not really a preference like some say, when we look deeply into trans-sexuality on going awarenesses.

    so there you have it, in order for the versatile female and male bisexuals to come together in life, they have to both fearlessly step over the threshold in allowing their own opposite sex(in their brain) out to play with one who is of the bodily opposite sex, of the male of the female fucking the female of the male, or for you gay boy bottoms who enjoy the position of being on top the most, then the female of the male, fucking the male of the female.

    what can present itself as perplexing at first for bisexuals, is the truth that what is the real occurring sexual feelings of the gay boy bottom female that likes to be penetrated, and equally so, what is the sexual feelings of the lesbian girl top that likes to penetrate? is that bisexual awareness is the pure and true natural occurring erotic sexual feelings in their brain, as you know, that is of the combination of heterosexual, gay, lesbian and transsexual feelings rolled into ones who do exist BISEXUALS, which i purely truly am, but my bisexual opposite sex counterpart potential partners, are way the fuck behind me on the road, still smoking pot in their sad denial useless lover circles, where some days i sware, i should just go fucking kill myself, and leave your sorry fucking ass where you yet sit………….BIYATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    there, im ok now, just need to vent it

    it is difficult for me, cause i don’t have many bisexual friends who are not clinging needy useless fucks foolishly seeking co-dependency with others like some do.

    anyway, i cannot deny my own feelings from my own self, so why should i deny the truth from any of you?

    i will say this though, i am growing impatient at times, OBVIOUSLY!

    where i need to calm my shit down, knowing full well, just how complex bisexuality is, i mean, ask around, of how many friends do you have who are of the opposite sex full on roll playing fucking versatile? uhm?

    that’s right……….NONE!


    of recent, i have caught myself fearlessly speaking with opposite sex lesbians and fag hags, so ya, i have been stepping out of my bisexual closet, and interestingly enough, is the positive response i see in their eyes, which i know is of their own closet bisexual self within, that most any gay guy or lesbian girl and transsexuals remain in denial of, albeit, i must say the transsexuals i know are rather wild out there, most of them prostitutes, hustling with anyone of any sexuality, including threesomes, which i have to admit, i do enjoy, of something i don’t know about my own self, of seemingly a primal brain thing i feel, as to the intensity of multiple sexual encounters at the same time, which i do attribute as purely that of primal evolution awareness that perhaps in human history, we males were much like a bull or stallion in a field with other females, fucking all of them, whenever the urge arises, which is not to say that is what i want or willing to trust, if someone likewise is into threesomes, settling instead into the wild ass fuck sessions of two bisexuals role playing, and i have to admit, i cannot get the thoughts out of my head, as to how many various shaped strapons there are, of sensations that i want to learn about my own body, so if that person is you, well, why stay where you are, bored as you say, which i too truly am…………BORED OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND!……….if you must know.

    i think of myself in likeness of John and Yoko, albeit further on in bisexual openness to delightful enjoyment of encounters with other bisexuals, so you better hurry the fuck up, before someone snaps me up, and you are left where i once was, fucking bored like you say!


    any questions

    i’ll be in my studio from here on in, the door that is always OPEN, took the hinges off it for good, fuck that, no more fucking closets for ‘me’ lameass boring Biyatches, bin there long enough, so you just go and enjoy your closets that i know you all yet are in



    i am still here, but i am fucked up in my head, emotionally and sexually frustrated, but at least i am working on the mental fuckedupness

    bless you

    and as for the religious dribble comment, well, does not hurt me, as it is your own personal relationship with God, not mine, where i have heard most any mocking ridicule from all of you, especially the self-righteous fucktards who call me a sinner, who remain clueless to their own mindfuck traps so obvious they clearly are to me, in my oneness omnipotence with Jesus Mary and God, my best friends.

    in other words, a word of caution, you potential hurt your own divine self in ridiculing of cultivating who i feel are the most powerful friends one can ever have in life, i mean fuck, how much fucking shit do we hear come out of people’s ignoramus mouths every day? uhm?

    and who do they hurt?

    their own self

    as Jesus says, “It is not what you hear that is ever able to harm the real you, rather it is what you are of lacking discerning of words you say, that is able to harm the real you, of what you choose to turn towards and not turn towards, the hypocrisy heart or the true heart of YOU.”

    well ok, Jesus did not say this all in one sentence, but he does say it in a multitude of sentences that are all the same thing pointing the way to the true real self heart within us all

    blessings to all

  153. and who is drooling now?

    that’s right……….YOU!

    lol :mrgreen:

  154. what?

    you want to go deeper in bisexual awareness?

    well ok, the compromise for opposite sex bisexual partners, is that for both the male of the female, and the male of the female, having to compromise for feel real sex organs trade out swap of the penis and vagina, for a false penis(strapon) for the male, and false vagina(ass) for the female bisexuals.

  155. so basically, homoerotic homosexual desire tendency for opposite sex bisexuals to explore in roll playing true real awareness of their own likeness and form of one another, of loving awareness mirroring of their own self reflection in being their opposite sex within their own brain sex, a reality more so than mere imagination, can be truly rewarding fun loving experience for heterosexual bisexual couples.

    and when the kids ask, “Mom, how come you dress like a man one week and a female the next week?”

    just say, “Go ask your father.”

    “Ya, but Mom, i already did ask Dad the same question, and he said go ask you!”


  156. or, you can choose to stay in your boring ass heterosexual closets i know all 2 well, in passing ‘me’ bi


    there is no possible way i will ever be merely of a heterosexual sex only life, nope, no way!

    nor should anyone

    i am gay, as in motherfucking happy ass GAY!

    where i am less interested in the average male penis shapes and sizes, considering what is available for the lesbians, where it is rather difficult to say to your male partner, “Here, fuck me with this strapon, it feels better for my ass in achieving anal orgasmic heaven than your sissyass pencil dick penis!”

    trust me, i’ve tryed, unsuccessfully


    so as for my own personal compromise, i am leaning towards joyful delight in bringing out the male of a fearless female, than i am in entertaining any more pencil dicks, which is not to say there is not some perfect penis out there for me, rather there is, alot actually, of their happy ass fuck partners bragging about them all the time


    all friggin married

    although i have not gotten around much lately, the HIV thing now forthmost in my changing of my old ways

    and as for the bigger dick top boys, well, you don’t ever pick who’s ass they learn feels better than the next, nope, tops are in charge of who they enjoy fucking, and who they don’t enjoy, no matter what you may think of your own ass, unless maybe you learn to control the muscles like some do, fuck, Simon is amazing!

    ah fuck it, if someone finds that they do love me, i will let them approach me, and if they are within my likeness and form of my fearless sexual expectation exploration as my own, i will consider them

    as for you lameass wannabe talk talk talkers, well, how do you suppose that would make you feel? uhm?

    the usual…………….bored

    fuck, as if i don’t know what that feels like, pffff, did i tell you the time a girlfriend caught me in the shower anal stimulating myself?

    ya, i went to this Christmas party one time without her, and some University professor started in on my sissy ass all dressed in soft silky clothing, my kinda obvious closeted gay ass i could not hide, all the while thinking i was, nope, his gay radar pickup on me from across the room, as we got drunk together, exchanging of phone numbers, where later that week, my girlfriend walked in on one of my homoerotic masterbation sessions


    here i go again, getting caught the same way Mike caught me with my Mom’s Playgirl CENTERFOLD spread out on the my bed, age 15 i think.


    the following week we split

    gee i wonder why?

    back in a time when girls could not accept their homosexual lover

    which is a misnomer, that transsexual bigenders like me know well, where i ask, “So what is feels good for you females is something bad for me to feel? uh? That’s just fucking stupid, is it not?”


    sexual awareness immaturity, that’s all, not a bad thing, rather a sad thing

    truly, it is!

    so now here i am again, revisiting my heterosexual male top self, feeling completely self accepting of my true bisexual real self, where it is not so much that i have the problem, obviously, now is it?

    anyway, i need to get out to more bisexual meetings, where maybe that special someone will find me one day, i pray

    you people are all too busy, and while i don’t mentally see it as insulting, i do emotionally feel it as insulting, unavoidably, accepting that i am of a mere writer in your world at this time, of anyone of you who is bi-curious, which we all are, born that way actually, in what is our oneness sameness human bodies, where i still say, the female orgasm is exactly the same in feeling in our brain as the male orgasm.

    that awareness alone, pretty much trashes all the denial labels that exist here in the anal retentive year 2010


  157. i feel i am of an even greater uphill climb now, with my HIV status, and yet, if someone comes to love me, they just will, which sees beyond my status, just as many do now

    i have no choice in the matter

    albeit, i have the choice of how much time i choose to spend with those of my choice, as i move along lover’s road in meeting so many of you.

    i am bitter over my HIV status, that much is obvious

    a feeling like i have already physically died, when at first they seem so enthralled with you, up to the point you declare your status, as the light within them dims and fades away, the avoidance that they try to hide coming up, and off they ride

    fuck it

    i do have those who do love me, and there are many pos people to choose from, for sure, of limited dominatrix females i likely won’t ever find, or if i do, they too are married to someone they love

    HIV changes more than just our physical, it changes everything

    another thing i have to do, get my ass out to more HIV meetings, in getting my emotional needs being met, so as to stop with my needy ass frustration manifestations of late

    anyway, i just want to say, anyone who says to me, “I am too busy” i interpret as not interested in me

    ok fuckers?


    so peace out, and i will go do my meetings in the coming future, and be less bothering in forgetting about you lameass fucks


    thanks for listening

  158. wish me luck

  159. don’t get me wrong, i am actually quite content in my choices of the most loving fuckers on the planet of the LGBT community, loving of all of them, no matter their bullshit they have yet to deal with

    Just BE your SELF

    and let someone love you

    like you do them

    but if your are not just being your true real self, how can anyone come to know you in order to love you?

    mental emotional sexual spiritual unavailable eventually leads to drifting away of others

    it is what is, and what is happening to us, is it not?

    kinda obvious now

    so why bother?

  160. perhaps it is meant to be for me, of someone who will come along and love my sweet ass better than i ever dreamed possible one day

    ya, i am optimistic

    i have a nice cock

    and i know how my cock feels for them

    which means i am without doubt of my value as to the true real overflowing happiness so obvious of my partner who is purely in truth………’me’! :mrgreen:

    i am not lame at all in my thinking like you lameass anal retentive Biyatches yet in process learning of your own ass

    fuck that

    been OUT here along time

    make your choices

    and live with them

    that is your blessed life

    always it is your CHOICES, or lack thereof, which is more often the unwise case

    bless you all

  161. i am emotionally toxic right now

    kinda sick of the emotional drifting around uncertainty i get to feel, of no one genuinely fucking there in body, not just spirit

    i have to accept the truth of who is genuinely interested in me, and who is not, more so now than before, in not wasting time with HIV stigmatization that takes over as a primal brain reponse

    ya, an HIV pos partner

    i love raw unprotected real sex

    why i am HIV +

    although if my female sexual self is 100% of my imagination, than is the size of the huge strapon my imagination?

    is my orgasmic experience my imagination?

    not according to some who have witnessed it!


    anyway, my bisexual arrival is my bisexual arrival Biyatches, not yours

    although it could be i suppose

    im tired of getting my hopes up


    it drains me more than it helps me

    most of our needs are beyond mere talking, such as touching and sex with another

    so ya, i do feel you are not interested in me as a partner

    as much as i may mentally be assertive as to why

    i don’t feel it with you any more

  162. sporadic impulses does not cut it for me, if anything is indicative of one’s pervading uncertainty fears, whatever fears one may be of, they are your fears, not mine

    and yet, i get to feel it as transference

    which sucks!

    hey, maybe there is someone truly fantastic OUT there for ‘me’, just like ‘me’

    someone said i have a twin here in the city

    i am like, “Oh really?!!!!!!!!!”


    does he have a nice cock like me?

    ok lameassers, enjoy your boring day

  163. speaking of lameassers, my ex is finally treating me better

    don’t put up with his shit any more either, and low and behold, oh, behavioral change, well imagine ‘that’

    take time

    a life time for some

    and some don’t change at all

    as you know well by now

  164. truly in my heart of hearts, i know i am the most happy loving lover for someone out there

    why i don’t really care what any of you choose to think of ‘me’

    so go smoke that one Biyatches!

    i already know my own inner happiness oneness of a potential other that i have not yet met, and all those who i have

    we are all the fucking same!

    and that is the the TRUTH

  165. perhaps i should seek out others who have appreciation for my spiritual dribble, rather than those of hypocrisy heart ridicule?

    Jesus and God say i should pay no attention to the babbling idiot fools, who are of delight to inject you with their poisoned minds

    at some point i will eventually just stop having faith that anyone in this circle gives a fuck about anything i have to say

    and each day that passes, my exiting grows stronger

  166. i know, why don’t i stop for a week, a month, just disappear and you all be of your boring ass circle? uhm?

    dribble eh?

    that pretty much pushes me out of your petty ego lameass circle

    ok, i will stop for no less than one month and see if i feel better, less toxic from you gay basher heteros, ok?

    yes, i need to do this for me, set my sights higher with fearless true heart others like myself, never could stand being around the homophobes

    in truth, none of us enjoy your attacking ways

    while it may indeed be spiritual dribble of one yet seeking, you attacked my spiritual belief system inner connection with God

    fearing more of the same that i can expect?

    experience tells me, yes, they don’t change much over their entire life

    so ya, a month, and should i decide to return or not return, what does it matter if i do, when it won’t ever be me and you? uhm?

    and after a month, everyone usually moves on with others

    so my prediction is i won’t return

    why bother?

    it’s over?

    it did not start in the first place?

    there was no physical contact, no fearless other who wanted to meet me, their actions that spoke louder than words

    ya, im truly done with my bisexual exploration, get back to my happy ass friends, forget you homophobes gay bashers

    i will give birth to my children invetro

    there, im done

    you happy?

    oh yeah, i forgot, you don’t really give a fuck about me

  167. and for sake of saving face future for you no namer flamers, i have deleted my blogs, the artist Andyy did not exist, so if anyone ever comes up to me, and says, was that you at Madonna’s blog Andyy?

    i will say no

    in keeping with how you cowards are unable to acknowledge i really did and do exist in real life with others, who do purely know and love ‘me’

    spiritual dribble huh?


    i will take me and my spiritual dribble ass else where

    already a relief not to ever allow myself to be bashed here again

    seems i have been working up to this day for some time

    gee, i wonder why?


  168. congrats to everyone

    i despise you nonamers now

    i deserve the best

    so go be whatever with whoever fuckers!

    i don’t trust this blog any more

    cowards with no name

    seemingly they think as more important than me

    ya, self-absorbed self-important mentally emotional sexually spiritually unavailable, for sake of others and their own self

    in all their pathetic boring ass dribble

  169. you should not of mockingly ridiculed attacked my pure spiritual inner connection that has carried me this far

    i am unscathed as i return to God

    so mourn for your own aimless pathetic foolish self, ok?

    you are too toxic for ‘me’

  170. i do not want or need you nonamers

    you are insult to the LGBT community in all your nonamer self-important ways in not acknowledging me all this time


    freakiest shit i have ever witnessed

    thinking i was the one with the problem in not acknowledging me like every other fucking person on the planet does


    not Madonna

    she is too good for Andyy


  171. in truth, you were an homophobic embarrassment to your own self, according to everyone of the LGBT family who do know otherwise

    and for what?

    well, you have the remainder of your life to remember how treated me

    cowardly in the eyes of us all who don’t understand you too good self-absorbed ones

    it’s all bullshit

    the world over

    all of it

    life means nothing without your most loving lover to wake to every blessed day


    ya ok, fine

    i know where i belong and how i feel with the most loving lovers in likeness and form as me

    you still owe me dinner

    i ask that you take a starving child out to dinner in my place, ok?

    where in my heart, i know all your wealth belongs to God, belongs to those in desperate life threatening need

    what troubles me, is that deep inside, you know it too

    so go do whatever

    i don’t care any more for you

  172. nor should anyone so coldly cowardly treated like i was

    no more

    that’s it for me

    should of stayed away in the first place

    but hey, live and learn, and i did deal with my bisexual fantasy nightmare that came true, that you really are a homophobe

    kinda obvious with all the nonamer gamer flaming

    ah well, your loss

    i am an amazing lover pure and so so true when i do love someone

    but when mentally emotionally sexually and now spiritually unavailable, i cannot go any further in ‘that’

    you suck!

    and so do i


    fuck you

  173. seeing how i am of homophobic treatment is one thing

    seeing how i am of HIV + stigmatization

    that i personally know how it feels within

    so with that said, i purely am a blessing for an HIV+ homosexual, bisexual or transsexual OUT there in the garden, who feels the same way i do, day after blessed day, we shall forever be, pureness of two loving hearts as one

    my destiny

    cya Biyatches!

    i really have to go this time, of no more time left for anything less that what i constantly am

    and always was


  174. oh yeah, dribble………

    no more shall i be of dribble for you then


    God’s dribbling snivelling, whining, dribbling children

    hmmm…..i really am………God’s child

    always was

    always knew

    love of 2

    i am

    butt me and you


    dream on Candy boy!

    takes a constant fearless overflowing abundant pure heart to know and love my heart mind body spirit and soul of the eternal all hear in heaven

    you have to start with your own

    i tryed

    but you have your sights set on others

    so i best be on my way

    two timing fickle faker heart fools

    i am the most amazing lover anyone could ever dream of being with, says all those i was with, and yet with

    butt not ever will it be you

    what to do?

    trying saying goodbye, farewell and thank you


    you know, it always comes down to trust

    and i felt your untrusting transference all this time in my trying to disarm your seemingly inability to trust

    your own worse enemy

    why i cannot stay

    fuck that

    i need lover love every single day

    or i die inside

    which is not about pride

    it’s about glide……….the silicone glide Biyatches!

    all your anal rentention friends once spent,
    always knowing we are heaven sent

    ok, forget the poetry, focus on the sculpting, got it

    ok, im ok now


    and thanks

    what does not kill me makes me stronger

  175. your lover should be of the forthmost greatest of importance to you in life

    and if they are not purely the single most valuable person in your heart

    then they are not the lover meant for you

    it is Jesus, Mary, God and your own beloved children who are able to teach you the most about your pure true loving heart of divine self

    just be sure to take time sacredly spent with them and they you, lest you too be swept away as are the fool(s)

    do as i do

    peace grace love happiness BE 2 YOU

  176. honestly, you are always too fucking busy, and that is how i always felt all this time

    as though some burden to you

  177. miserable is the soul that depends apon another ~ co-dendance

    not me, no way, i cashed in my ass with God along time ago

    they have to either love ‘me’ or i am running with those who purely always do

    so fuck you


  178. boundary set

    moving on

    to where i get

    2 feel i belong

  179. i really am a horrible poet


  180. my dearest of trusting friends tell me you are shit for my life right now, to stay away

    and ya, i agree your shit circle, not mine

    happy shitting fuckers!


  181. i tell them, oh, they probably have better pot than we do


  182. God, so many years have gone by, and still, i am that same sensitive vulnerable feeling kid inside who feels every word people say

    i suppose i am of healthy self-actualization of feelings just under the surface, no repressing them

    get in my face with shit though, an i will permanent press you


  183. besides, i don’t have enough testosterone for the two of us to keep us both ass happy

    so there

    although i suppose a trip to the clinic could get some……..oh forget it, you’re too lame for me

  184. enjoy your high society fucktard friends you think you love so much without me, ok?

    i would not trade lives with you

    not ever

    truthfully, i love my true heart humble brokeass artist life in bringing forth evoking cathartic devoted works

    i mean look at music today, that is not music any more, instead of manufactured product so obvious like it is


    fuck that

    way off base in connecting with people’s pure and true loving heart mind body spirit and soul

    some of it more damaging than good, without substance

  185. kinda pathetic of you so called musicians who are not musicians at all, in perpetuating glorifying of drugs and alcohol with naive vulnerable pure heart children you lead down dark paths of self-destruction and death like you willfully knowingly do, trading in of precious souls for your lameass cash you wear around your neck

    it all comes full circle Biyatches

    of your own children one day who get snared by what you perpetuate(d)

    too late

    every fucking day for so many

    i am not judging anyone

    it’s the TRUTH

    God says speak the truth with you assholes

    i spoke the truth

    ask me again when your own child dies consequentially if my words of truth was dribble

    oh right, you need not ever ask, once you are a KNOWER OF TRUTH

    God is the omnipotent KNOWER OF TRUTH

    and i am God’s child

    so fuck you

  186. Andy,

    You say that you are done with this blog. That you’re leaving for at least a month. That it would’ve been better if you stayed away…… and we all hope it’s true that you f*^k off for once and for all…… And then you are back within 2 minutes, writing all your boring, insane rambling crap. When will you finally understand that you are talking to yourself, because you are the only person that finds anyy validity in anything you rave on about.

    Don’t bi-sexuals have anything better to do these days?

    Eh, Rosie?

  187. oh whatever hateful jerkoff mindfuckers!

    you are the extreemly low attention span shortsighted self-absorb gay bashing hypocrisy heart individual who is only our for your own self gain, actually thinking you are not at all of the ego shit for brains that seethes from your every poisoned ill unwise heart word you vomit like you enjoy doing with those you do not know at all in seeking genuine authentic true real self down to earth friends and lovers

    it was those in likeness and form around Troy and i years ago that i came to purely 100% despise like i do today

    you are already judged by God not purely knowing the truth of your wretchedness gay bashing not just of me, of every single one of the LGBT community when you gay bash a long standing veteran such as my self

    go back to your empty nothingness you come from that i cast you back into, of the spiritual senseless absurd mindfucking vomit you take delight in swimming in

    and if one day you come up to me on the street like you enjoy doing here, i will put a bullet in your head fuckers, but not the kind of bullet you know of that kills a person, rather a pure powerful bullet of unfailing truth that i just shot you with in revealing what is of fateful illness of heart………obviously

    you cannot become victorious over me wretched fuckhead haters

    it is not possible

    i seeking healthier wiser friends now, of no more desire to be of the openly homophobe gay bashers

    and if Madonna leaves your shit for brains comments up, she to can join the gay bashing ranks of every single one of you that i purely 100% despise utterly and completely, knowing 100% that indeed, you are the same in likeness and form of the snared pathetic mindless heartless jackasses that were cause for Troy’s suicide

    be thankful that i do not yet own a gun that kills you fuckers!

    and pray with all your might to God that i won’t

    cause i would kill you if you were standing in front of me

    that is how purely feel for you ignoramous gay bashers

    so go back to your spiritual death shit for brains zombie life that actually does purely serve us knowers of the truth, that so many of you remain clearly blind to who i purely am at all times, way the fuck beyond your petty ego attention span you remain blind of the truth of how deeply it has snared you

    i am warrior of God’s truth, constant in my omnipotence of vomit we knowers of truth continue to walk in that you all spu forth like you just did

    truthfully, i would blow your brains out if i owned a gun, so fair warning in the future ok, as there are far more angry individuals than i among you, that should you happen apon haphazardly like you aimlessly do one day, your death will be 100% the truth awareness of your wretched desire to poison the pure heart of another and others like you continue to enjoy doing

    it’s judgement day fuckheads, that most of you are oblivious to, of the pure truth in every passing moment at all times all around us.

    you will one day come face to humiliation face in recoiling away from the awareness of the wretchedness of your own derranged twisted soul that is unable to every bring harm to mine, as i am constantly protected by a massive macro thinking shield of God’s wisdom hear in the kingdom of heaven among you, where you will likely spend your entire life not ever purely knowing who i really really am and was, and those of eternal spirits who dwell within me from the spirit realm

    you have already lost, not knowing what you have lost, of your unknowing forgetfulness foe that yet snares your heart mind body spirit and soul

    so be gone with you keepers of death, you are not welcome here

  188. seriously Madonna, if you condone these openly gay bashing SHITHEADS………….then i am not going to entertain trusting you as a friend any more in life.

    you are serving as a wiser host for gay bashers, condoning their actions, like wtf?


    which means you an equal contributor perpetuation of their homophobic gay bashing as one who is seemingly ok with it?

    ya well, fuck you if that’s how you want to be as a friend

    not a friend at all

    they are out there fucking stalking and killing us in the world, so what the fuck is wrong with you?

    too much time spent in homophobeville?

    seems that way

    and what of the perpetuation of their shit that may greet your own homosexual child one day? uhm?

    are you ok with the truth as one who participates in perpetuating their shit, giving the green light to them that it’s ok?

    so far you are

    and i am not ok with that

    never was, all this time hear, bashed time and time again and again over and over since i got here

    who the fuck wants to walk around near their foul stence illness? uhm?

    no one

    of any orientation, that’s who!

    either moderate them or i don’t, of everyone of the LGBT community seeing you on par willing okness with your condoning of gay bashing when you don’t

    i really don’t give a fuck what you do with the blog, cause i won’t be back to let them bash me some more


    genuinely let go of my neediness for chilling at this blog, now more than ever, the same vultures as before when i first got here

    GAY BASHING IS A CRIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    i don’t hate them, no, i despise their wretched obviously unattended pathetic derranged and willful derranging of souls, in all their attempts to make others think it is ok to gay bash us

    like they do

    like you condone them to do

    so far

    it’s not ok Madonna

    and in truth, you are in likeness and form standoffish fear mongering as they are, in not acknowledging me openly all this time, which makes no sense to me at all, thinking you were approachable and are not, and why, so the tabloids don’t find out how loving Madonna is of us?

    i want to know, if i do as you have done all this time, how would you feel about their standoffish none validation of their love for us? uhm?

    is this some kind of a fucking boot camp training blog for you? uhm?

    i will so kick them in their pathetic petty ego childish head every fucking time those assholes come up against us, in not sparing them the fucking truth they continue to avoid!

    argh……….i want to kill someone!

    like the fucking asshole shit for brains pope

    ya, i want to kill the pope who thinks he knows what heaven is, and so obviously is not ‘that’ which purely is of heaven’s love devoid of doubt we of the LGBT community CONSTANTLY know we are in our every blessed step

    nonsense, utter and complete mindfucking pervading puking nonsenselessness, seemingly everywhere i fucking go outside the fucking gay ghetto, why i moved back into the ghetto

    i love my ghetto life here

    i purely do

    don’t give a fuck what any of you do any more, really i don’t

    fuck, i was bored with you homophobes decades ok, wondering to myself why i am revisiting them, knowing already a long fucking time ago, what to expect, time and fucking time again and again, the same shitheads they still are


    where’s my fucking gun?

    if i see any of you bashing us in public, i will break as many of your fucking bones as i can before the police arrive, don’t think i could kill you, as much as i want to, but i accidentally might

    i was a scrapper when i first got to the gay ghetto, getting into fights every week, cops pulling me of them, as i pulled their shirt up over their head and into the ground. fuck

    hey, you know those anger management programs really work for me, for awhile, but i seem unable to let go of my pure running angst

    i do relate to Gage, but beyond useless annoyance of anger, is our ability to purely gracefully preferringly sissyly prancingly dancingly exist, oh fuck it, i am as gay as fuck, to hell with the bisexuality!


    besides, you don’t have enough testosterone in your blood to keep my ass happy

    no one blame
    no shame

    it is what it biologically is, that’s all

    why i am yet sexually frustrated all this time with my bisexuality i should let go of and just get back to my calm happy gayboy assfucker life i have enjoyed so easily for along time

    anyway, enjoy your blessed day, of one less to go today than you had yesterday

    bless you

  189. actually……..i am leaving for the rest of my life, not just month

    but then, you already know ‘that’

    running for to save my own life, if you must know, what some of your purely already do know, about your own self

    so blow your useless anal retentive ass boy candy!

    who the fuck could possible want you as a friend?

    • Ok, bye. Don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out.

      Oh wait, you haven’t really left, judging by the following 10 messages.

      Gee, that is such a surprise.

  190. truth be told, in my heart, i was done this blog before i arrived here, in allowing myself to get openly gay bashed like so many of you did and yet do

    and yes, i am trained to karate to break your bones fuckers, starting with your collar bones first, that disables both of your arms, then a violent kick to your balls that cause so much pain you cannot bare in falling to the ground, where you better fucking pray i stop there, cause if i don’t, you will die!

    fair warning

  191. but hey, in my heart and mind, truly i tell you, that you are all already dead, to the millions in the future, of the world you ignoramous jerkoffs of perpetuation gay bashing stupidly left behind in the disarray like you did

    i know this, as one who is light years ahead of most of you in the future as your potential happy ass fucker future self

    but come up to me in the present day and speak like you cowardly do, i will break you in ways no one else can in taming you cowardice shrews!


  192. and another thing boy candy, you are obviously not a Madonna fan of encouraging self expression, so why the fuck are you here? uhm?

    do you know who i am?

    do you care who i am to so many millions of others?

    you cannot truly know ‘me’ in order to love ‘me’ when you don’t want 2

    here is a clue for you, you don’t 2, not yet

  193. ok Madonna, you currently accept and allow gay bashing behavior that is considered morally wrong or offensive to continue here at your blog

    it will come back to haunt you and your loved ones one day

    i have to go, cannot stay

    nor should any of us tolerate these gay basher anal retentive mindfucked fucker fucked up fucking shitheads!


    fuckity fuck fuck fucker fucking fucked up……….fuckers!

  194. awwww……there, i feel better now, thanks


    i really should channel their negative energy into my devoted works, in forgetting about them, yes?

    a waste of my our sacred precious time, are they not?

    their own worse enemies, sadly unknowing that in truth, they really are, as i hesitate to say how happy their anal retentive lives likely are

    it’s like why bother with that, when they already know? uhm?

    who do they keep hurting?

    that’s right

    their own sad cowardice bully mentality, could not get fucked if their life depended on it, which it does, lonely afraid, no body loves me, self


    ok, i will stop……………FOR NOW!

    but i catch you fuckers here again, well, someone’s finger is on the delete button, and i know them quite well as my own self, so, uhm, piss off! ok?

    thank you

  195. oh, and one more thing, it is not you Madonna, who i am afraid to have a relationship with, rather it is and always has been them, of my obvious intolerance that has grown so purely inside like it has for decades now, where i really don’t step outside of our gay ghetto that often, cringing and hesitating when i do, preferring the calm fun loving effeminate sissy boy i am in outward appearance, as opposed to having to be on my guard with the LAMEASSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    seemingly all around, always right fucking there, fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    there, im all better now!


  196. hey, you ever see two tittyboy trannys fight?

    they are fucking crazy when they fight, kicking, hair pulling and biting, like holy fuck, don’t ever get into it with a tranny…… will loose every time…….fuckers!

    she will leave you to bleed out apon the sacred ground she walks apon, where she knows she purely is the one always in the brighter radiant light among all you lameass dullers!


    is that a word?


  197. oh, you would fucking miss my ass if i was not around, so don’t bother trying to deny it

    i feel that when i am not around, perhaps you will finally grow in awareness of HOW FUCKING BORING! they really really are, that really really gets on our nerves after awhile! fuck!

    argh…………..i can breathe again………..whewwwww!

  198. hey, do you think gays should carry guns to protect themselves?

    i do

    no one would dare get in their face once everyone knows they are packing a gun

    i can think of a few times i would of likely used one, like those fuckers who tryed to run me over with their pickup truck

    can you believe that?

    true story, they tryed to run over me, drunk of their asses, screaming out their windows at us YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS!!!!!

    ya, you wanna suck my cock do ya?

    i don’t so fuckers, dream on!


  199. ya, well, no surprise how homophobes are in homophobeville for any of us, as yet evident of your own approach with ‘me’ candy boy, same old annoying mockery ridiculing of homosexuals

    i can take it, ya sure, no problem, quite used to it

    question is, do i want to tolerate it for even one second more?


    i live a peaceful blessed pure calm loving life in the ghetto of my happy sissyboy effeminate assfucker friends like me

    so truth be told, you are one who enjoys laughing at us than with us

    you always sorta did

    as though we are an oddity

    albeit, we love making fun of each other here, as you know

    im going on with my life in my own direction now, don’t care at all what you may have to say or do any more

    i did have excitement in my heart once before in meeting you, thinking i could enjoy your company, but not when i feel like i am an oddity like mockingly yet do, i mean really, who wants to feel that way, when we enjoy feeling completely comfortable as our calm sensitive self like we are here?

    i don’t blame you so much as i do the transference homophobia of others of the hetero world you run in

    it is not even of words actually, when it comes to homophobia, rather is of mindset feeling that is pervading depending on the room where the double standard ones run

    they don’t even have to say a word to me, i just feel it when i enter a room, where my old hetero self feels at ease, but once they realize i am gay spirited, the atmosphere changes

    and as for the HIV thing, well, a huge leap of faith for some to overcome, knowing i will be better off with a pos partner

    anyway, that’s just how i feel right now, kinda anti-climatic if you will, no urgency to be anywhere other than where i am, living out the remainder of my life just being me, and my devoted work i want to leave behind for the world, that will say to them all, for sure, i existed.

    so as for the standoffish bullshit mindfuck, well, you can keep that too

    self-important coldest shit i ever experienced of anyone if you ask me, where i don’t give a shit at any more for people like that, including you

    so what the fuck!

    fuck it

    im gone to a better place now, where i always feel i do belong here, more than you ever made me feel like i belong there

    it is what is, intrinsic/extrinsic homophobic forces, sadly, as i am loved full heartedly by many that i know i will be friends with till my last day

    but hey, you have your lover and friends and projects that you want

    and not me

    so there really is no point spinning my wheels any more, the same way it always felt, going nowhere

    and now, i don’t want to go any where other than where i am


  200. ya, truth is, i don’t really care any more

    just go be of my blessed art work and forget everything, live out a peaceful loving life with someone who is fearlessly always there for me, of genuine sincerity in their eyes

    we find our own way in life, follow our own hearts, no matter what others have to say, when two do find one another in life

    we came close, but the homophobes twist and turn it all upside down, and i am just interested in that world ever again, i mean it comes thru you alot in so many ways, so go listen to them, the oh so more important ones than i was made to feel as

    toss it away

    cannot stay

    of fools at play

    albeit, fools at PLAY, our favorite hangout in the ghetto


  201. what you seemingly cannot hide, as much as you try to hide, using a fakeass name


  202. i would use a fake name too if i was such an asshole like you

    so there!

    that’s what i think of you!

  203. and someone please inform candyass they are an immature egocentric self-centered gay basher with no ability of soul to love us like we all purely constantly do

    without question, you are fucking heartless asshole gay basher candyass!

  204. you need to be of concern for your own unwise path ahead, that i already know is going to end horrible for you

  205. if not already the horrible person you truly OBVIOUSLY are

    good luck finding heaven door

  206. the only true value of life is love, where without love, is no life at all

    why so many needlessly senseless die each day

    so for you who like to bash the fuck out of us, i ask, is that love?

    so if life is love, and death is hate, then that makes you what Jesus says you are, “walking coffins”

    it’s all funny until someone close to you dies consequential to whatever it was you perpetuated your entire life fuckers!

    i ask, how can anyone love the deathful haters who perpetuate death in the world? uhm?

    here is a hint: i cannot, Jesus cannot, nor does God

    Jesus despises you

    and so does God

    as do i


  208. Omg ive so many drugs tonight

    I’m about to give birth to Lady Gaga

    Oh shit

    Here it comes

    Oh shit

    Still birth

  209. the internet, like the real world, is like a city who’s streets are strewn with useless (mental) trash for others to step thru

    i need to get centered in my pure true ‘real’ self, where i have come to realize i am best able to do so with ‘real’ people in the ‘real’ world

    so catch you in the ‘real’ realm sometime, of none stop holy joyful absolute carefree loving lover happiness, in what i do 100% constantly yearn to always just easily BE, the sacred ONEness mirroring unity of two, that which i do know, reverberates with all of eternity, just as IS the truth all around us, even of the truth of all untruth, in what is yet the aimless plodding along thru the empty nothingness void abyss that so many haphazardly turn towards within, in bringing forth empty nothingness that serves no one, albeit, at all times, truth of the untruth darkness does comprise what is the wise discerning wisdom light that the divine child of God within us all, intuitively already knows, no matter how forgetful they my appear to BE, where indeed, forgetfulness is the greatest foe that the divine child eventually realizes in reconnecting with the core of our being, wisely in cultivating articulation wisdom of our true nature, of intellectual self understanding wisdom that does assist in the catharsis process, in our emotional re’turning to once again BEcome the constant flawless feeling intuitive child of God we always were, and yet are within, however frightening our vulnerable self may be in processing thru our letting go of what is all the useless absurd and annoying slow canter into the center of our preferred state of exceedingly graceful true nature being, that eventually breaks into a full on none stop gallop of the constant holy joyful absolute carefree happines, that only those who wisely surrender to the bridal chamber, pure and true of both, are able to exit forever more.

    that for sure, is not with just anyone

    albeit, we are all ONE eternal generation, yet snared in the mad flood drowning abyss flow, of the only question one ever needs to selflessly ask, ‘How many did we let die today, because of our useless nothingness empty absurd annoying destructive, deathful, oppressive, suppressive holding pattern of captivity egos?”

    i need to go live a pure true ‘real’ life now, tired of all the empty hollow crushing feelings, seemingly of no one who cares at all about my sacred devoted works i am diligently determined to leave for the eternal all one generation to behold their own loving heart as IS my own.

    thought maybe some of you might actually give a fuck

    guess not

    indicative of just how binding the generational mind fuck snaring mind traps really really are…..

    where if i don’t break free of it, none of us WILL, where always it is our WILL that matters most……obviously.

    i am loved by many, and i feel blessed holy joyfulness within, that is growing in it’s constant yearning of forever flawless feeling flow of letting go of all these things i have journeyed thru in the spiritual death valley that most remain unaware of what is exactly going on, as has been like the unwise world yet is, of only those of eternal day awareness purely do SEE with clarity like i do

    do as i do, says Jesus

    lest you too get swept along in the useless empty nothingness hollow in feeling void abyss that leaves so many to drown in each passing moment by moment, let it all go

    or don’t, and arrive at the end of your life yet wondering how many you let die people.

    personally, i would rather be dead than continue having to deal with some of you who really don’t give a fuck about much our loving brothers and sisters of the LGBT community, for whatever useless reasonings you were of in deciding not to have anything to do with my art career.

    it is sacred pure true real self art, of glorious value to many in the eternal future, who will hold it in their precious hands as is my own, where i do know what matters most in life, beyond all your useless empty hollow nothingness abyss void, devoid of ‘me’, only love

    where ya, it is kinda obvious, that the kingdom of heaven is our constant yearning only love feelings, but you would not know it by all the fucking shit you people keep tossing around with one another, like holy fucking wake the fuck up someday as your pure true real divine self i know ‘i am’… the passerby in your great cities i walked thru, knowing the held captive hearts of every single ONE of YOU!

    God bless the eternal ALL YOU!


  210. however frighten(ed)(ing) our vulnerable self may be in processing thru the TRUTH we all need to awaken 2, for sake of the pure true constant feeling loving YOU 2 just BE yOUR Self.

    forever more

    BE TRUE!

    for how else is the pure true divine real self YOU able to TRULY connect with the constant yearning of only love with the pure true divine real self YOU of another, and others, of only love that feels good enough 2 always feel 2 BE YOU?

    only love is the true life way to happiness

    constantly, at all times

    and well, im truly sick of all the mindless senseless shit i allow myself to feel of others on the internet, that really is a fucking mental garbage dump like i feel it mostly is each day.

    anyway, i just want to go live a happy loving lover life with someone, and well, already ‘i am’ the loving lover of constant only love i prefer to feel within, seeking one who is close in their fearless earnest sincere authentic genuine emotional honest safety as my own, for how else ‘am i’ able to ever be the sacred holy joyful absolute carefree loving lover happiness of 2 hearts able 2 merge in the constant kingdom of heaven only love feeling as though 1?

    fuck, so annoying all these fucking months and years has been for ‘me’, and well, i have had enough of the mental trash we all unfortunately waste so much time spewing forth and walking thru, that leads to nowhere but more of the same hollowness that yet leaves me alone to feel as though worthless.

    thank you Jesus, i know why you did what you did now, of your knowing without doubt that i too would feel the 100% truth, that you are indeed without doubt, just as i am too, of what are all these useless absurd mindfucking annoyances that lead to nowhere but more of the same fucking trash for this one generation to keep feeling the bindings of the holding pattern ego maniac captivities that leaves us to feel as though we are of no value whatsoever, when in truth, our constantly yearning abundant overflowing holy joyful absolute carefree loving lover happiness, IS without doubt for we of clarity, who do realize the kingdom of heaven is our flawless pure true real divine self feelings of only love good enough 2 always feel 2 BE the loving lover happiness TRUTH, for sake of us, for sake of everyone forever more!

    seems we have to end in order to begin, yes?

    only love

    divine destiny

    of 2


  211. should of come to meet me yesterday, not today, not tomorrow, for tomorrow is always too late

    and well, i exit today, so that tomorrow i am able to be free, for who ever IS of the same urgency ‘i am’, in knowing what is the binding generational path of fate, that does indeed hold steadfast, the eternal all one generation bound in the fateful always too late, to save not only another, their own self when you do.

    so to hell with all your taboo people

    it is your path of fate, in contrast to my path of destiny, that i know IS of God’s divine will for ‘me’

    wisely i might add

    perhaps the end result of so much of the flaming shame game you mindfuckers all played, that nearly led to my death, in seeking escape thru suicide like Troy and i ‘stupidly’ did, of my re’turning to you all, only to say, “Fuck off, i despise you all!”

    always did, always shall, BE the truth of my heart fuckers!



  212. enjoy your selfishness without ‘me’


  213. i made the mistake of crossing the street into unknowning territory, thinking maybe there were others like me of pure true hearts here at Madonna’s blog, only to realize what i intuitively always felt before doing so, untrusting as i always have been of most any of you, since i left ward 3, ya, still the same fucking uselessness so many of you yet are, as i take my leave of you for good, to just go BE my self, realizing, oh, that’s all i ever need to do, just BE, forever free, like i always was inside, even more so with the Glide, actually i love the pjur premium Glide the best, fuck the rest!


    lame ass biyatches!

    peace OUT motherfuckers, i won’t be back this way again, for more of the same useless spinning of my wheels, oh god, where do i begin?

    obviously, i can only BEgin where it all ends for ‘me’, like it does of everyone of us who do find ourselves escaping in false ends of the rope that hangs us, and for what, to teach you anal retentive mindless fuckheads we only deserve to constantly always feel love?

    ya, we die all the time, stupidly senselessly snared by the perpetuations you all ‘do enoy’ being, aimlessly plodding along in all your annoying selfish ways that won’t ever lead to ‘me’, god forbids me to ever believe the lame ass transference i feel with clarity, like i always have while walking among you all, and still, ‘i am’ there, even when i don’t want to be most days, of those who are thankful i stay.

    anyway, we all have our own sacred blessed life to go live, so live it well, in what i do know what the kingdom of heaven always IS……my intuitive feelings of clarity TRUTH, that reveals to ‘me’, only love feels good enough between 2, without all your lameass taboo.

    fuck that

    im outta here biyatches

    thanks for the mindfuck nothingness you kept leaving ‘me’ to feel, all the while i was of constant yearning hopefulness to one day be heaven with some of you.

    well, love takes 2

    so what else is there to do, but go be that one day, the eternal day already, ‘i am’

    forever more

    i need the constant love ‘i am’, not your self serving going nowhere aimless nothingness taboo biyatches!

    God knows i try,
    while some lie,
    while some die,
    while some cry

    holy tears


  214. you are not of my real life earnestness collaboration, and well, that is not even a friendship in feeling for ‘me’ at all, like others of my real life are.

    i always hoped one day some of you would be, but i guess the LGBT community is not yet what matters much to your heart, of earnest pure true oneness we all are of within, all our shared oneness angst, always it is the same voice in feeling, no matter what we say, all the same truth we all put up with in our non-conducive environmental we make our way thru to our pure true real self of constant yearning to be free of the taboo generational mindfucking.

    and well, what else to say about every minute, every hour of your standoffishness that feels toxic for me to be left feeling, the opposite of my pure true faithful real life friends, who are all openly excited about the new year ahead for my art career, where some of you cannot even say one single compliment, not that i need it, no, just saying, this is not a real life friendship like i enjoy with others, and well, my time is sacred and valuable, as regard the stone works in the eternal future that are there, of however many it is i am able to spend precious time creating, rather than where i am here at Madonna’s blog with yet more useless empty hollow in feeling nothingness contrasting toxic feelings devoid of the oneness i have been of with everyone of the LGBT community.

    perhaps one day when you hold one of the stone works in your hand, you may realize how much of an asshole you were towards me?

    anyway, fuck off everyone, i can do this with my true and faithful loving brothers, without the likes of some of you.

    so ya, fuck you all, i did not need what i ran away from long ago!


    speak the truth Jesus says, well, i spoke the truth of how you left me to feel, and well, i thank you for helping me realize where i do feel joyful open oneness in life, of the non earnestness that is yet of so many of you.

    don’t want it, did not want it, won’t ever want ‘that’

    so glory hallelujah for TRUTH that serves ‘me’ WELL!



  215. Omg said with so much heart & soul makes me wanna puke…

    Put your cock away Andy , your turning me straight

  216. fuck off and die fuckhead, you are the cold fucking jerk off, not me!

    indeed, you are the homophobic fuckhead you were all this time, and OBVIOUSLY yet are!

    you are a curse to me, no more, i broke free of your empty zeal fuckhead!

    go piss on someone else, and while you are at it, go fucking hang yourself

  217. you should not incite violence Andy

    & you should not encourage others to harm themselves..

    that is totally inappropriate behavior…

    And you should be ashamed of yourself for that …

    God Bless

  218. speak for your self fence sitters

  219. Not sitting on a fence, just finished my first movie..

    i’m not star, YET

    God help if i end up like one

  220. God Bless

  221. Maybe we should just fuck !

  222. its only cum

    excuse me while i wipe it off

    dreaming of something more

    than a blow & go

    ha ha


  223. duly noted cyber bully

    peace be to you all

    i greet you in peace and brotherly love

    when i comes to eternal truth awareness of the intrinsic/extrinsic flow of harmonious love connecting atonement of divine self flawless healing pure true feeling real self you of exceeding grace external appearance of the surfacing of the submerged divine self real you, of constant pure true harmonious oneness atonement exactly that of another, there is no such thing as indirectness as regards to what IS the TRUTH of the flow of love or hate, wisdom or ignorance, compassion or apathy, one to another to another, no, always it is the direct truth of what is yet binding of the one generation eternal all you, not yet fully of your pure true awareness atonement, as is the wise eternal truth awareness of my own, as is wise eternal truth awareness of Jesus, of the eternal day that does not set, for truth of all things is the same, past, present eternal future.

    let your hearts and minds become unbound by the generational fearful binding forces of the forefather ignorance that is without God’s omnipotence, as is our own, in pure flawlessly feeling of the truth of all our foolish disconnecting manifesting behaviors of just how bound most any of us are, because they do not question what has not occurred yet in their minds, all the while, every human being is constantly of subconscious processing pure true intuitive awareness as to just how fearfully controlled this world actually is, by church, by state, by businessmen likewise without God’s divine will comprehension, where all of you are indeed as ONE bound generation as was of the past, as is of today, is will be of tomorrow, where the only way to change, is to come fully into awareness in the eternal day, where all the false generational on gong ignorance is brought fully into the pure divine wise light of the eternal day, where one peers upon all truth, by means of the flawless healing feeling divine self’s intuitive ability, fearlessly coming forth unbound by the horrid wretched apathetic ignorant unloving empty nothingness false ego survival masks most any of you wear, without care or concern of your exact same self brother and sister who DIRECTLY FEEL in each passing moment, what yet is all our fearfully bound inactivity unmotivated with little or no empowerment, because of any who do not look upon the truth of the words you utter from your lips that are cause for the perpetuation of all oppression result of the intrinsic/extrinsic fearful binding impure nature of all falsehoods without God’s constant omnipotent wise knowing of TRUTH flowing like it does since the beginning thru today in what will be of all tomorrow, of what any of you foolishly utter from your hypocrisy hearts you unwisely unknowingly without loving compassionate intuitive seeking questioned of the truth spoken this day, in my attempts to be of proactive approach that is able to see destiny in replace of the binding fateful paths of any of you that will unfold like it has, does, and will do yet again tomorrow, where you are all DIRECTLY cause for every single suicide death of all gay youth, of what is the perpetuation TRUTH of you all like you clearly obviously still choose to do.

    so welcome yet again to 12 suicide death funerals of gay youth this day.

    because you choose to remain as you are in all your bound inactivity that i became free of decades ago, hoping to inspire, motivate, empower any of you to take time to purely flawless come into the eternal day awareness atonement as is my own, as is the holy spirit of eternal Jesus who dwells with me, my life freely surrender to Jesus to make use of, where i knew i could not be of as great a use of on my own.

    and so too is our one generation not able to come free of the forefather mad flood drowning ignorance on our own, as evident of the TRUTH of how urgent the gay youth of today who will take their own lives, NEED YOUR LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    not your foolish fence sitting inactivity that is bound okness with the ongoing bullying you choose not to stand up against along side the LGBTQ community.

    i will return every day from this day forth, in reminding you of the number of gay youth suicides that continue to occur, starting with today, of 13 suicides, less one…………my own, because i chose to come back and fight like Harvey Milk eternally asks us to do, where us veterans constantly KNOW the TRUTH of why.

    forever more

    be quite!
    enough talk!

    you are victorious over nothing, of any of you yet unknowingly unwise and yet bound, without 100% conviction awareness that comes with TRUTH wisdom awareness atonement in the eternal day comprehension in looking upon the eternal all you, in seeing and feeling with clarity the constant flow that is constantly always right there of everyone of you, at all times, in what any of you yet without descerning utter foolishly like you do.

    awaken then, fearless, in realizing the TRUTH of what has happened in the last 24 hours, of the suicide death of yet another 12 gay youth in the USA, on average.

    to a divine child of God in speaking the eternal TRUTH atonement that any of you can easily BEcome as is my own, as IS Jesus who is ONLY LOVING WISE COMPASSIONATE TRUTH that breaks the chains of all falsehood captivity like Jesus already has, of what we look for has already come, but most do not know it, do not question it, for their hearts and minds are yet bound by the ongoing forefather binding ignorance, unknowing submerging of their divine pure true flawless exceedingly graceful pure true real self ONEness of the eternal all YOU!

    forever more

    so please, can we dispense with the rhetoric, and get to the task of devoted work needed today, not tomorrow.

    thank you

    May God grant you all fearless atonement as is my own, as is Jesus, forever more, to feel, and then rise up in our oneness motivation empowerment in coming forth as the wise compassionate loving spiritual oneness atonement TRUTH leader warriors in fending off the absurd society as we attempt each day, so as to save just one gay youth from the self-inflicting injury result, DIRECTLY thru you all from, of what IS the forefather mad flood drowning taboo ignorance perpetuation.

    murders, is what you of bound captivity ignorance do not realize that indeed, you have become, until such a time as you come forth as your real self, humble before the grave side of a gay youth who is dead because of you, always they are right there for you to look upon, like most any of you foolishly do not take time to look upon and feel, often to late, of all you of your own beloved gay children who have taken their own life, and will continue to take their own life, because most of you do not comprehend the understanding of the pure true intuitive 100% self-love that homosexuality IS to a gay youth, who are made to feel they are 100% sinners, like the Catholic church yet perpetuates as the spiritual murders they are in God’s eyes, in all our eyes, the TRUTH Jesus asks us all to look upon and feel with clarity of the illness of heart that any of you become like you do, lead by these ignoramus merchants of God into death, destruction and oppression.

    mark my words, the pope will be struck down by God, where already, God has spoken the TRUTH in striking thru the soul of the eternal all you, planting of eternal truth seeds that continue to grow and become known, just as i am, just as is Jesus, of our oneness atonement pure and flawlessly true in wise compassionate loving awareness of TRUTH, the most powerful weapon of God that decaptitates all falsehood, without having to even say a word, in our minds of where the kingdom of heaven is, in our minds, where everyone of you dwell, in our minds that is able to discern all TRUTH of the harmful falsehoods.

    already those of the Catholic church spiritual murders are indeed spiritually dead, in not knowing that God’s divine will objective is holy joyful absolute carefree happiness of the eternal all yet to be born, who will indeed be set free, so help me God, of every second of sacred time i spend in my devoted works coming forth from my inner most sanctuary of only flawless healing love feelings of my divine pure true real self oneness atonement with those of the past, present, eternal all you in the future, without question, without hesitation, in easily feeling what IS of my wise compassionate loving lover happiness the same as YOU!

    i am not fucking stupid, i know i am called by God in what is my calling, so be lame all you want, where i am leaving you all behind this day, to enter the future, with or without you, of what is my more self-motivation empowerment, not of this generation, just as Jesus too came to realize, no, i am of the eternal all oneness atonement self-motivation empowerment in setting them all free one day, of what is the eternal day we all walk in, even of those who do not yet know……….the TRUTH.

    blessed IS the eternal TRUTH ONEness atonement, forever more

    peace OUT biyatches!

    love, Andyy XO hug


  224. Yer I know about all that, when innocent souls choose to leave this world prematurely it is a wake up call to us all, we must learn the errors of our forefathers & make a united effort to right the wrongs of the past, create a heaven on earth a place space mind reality that is non judgmental & accepting of all, especially for those who are not fearful of being different and courageous enough to be themselves such minority groups like the GLBT & others… EVERYONE has the Devine right to be who they are & should not be judged ridiculed or forsaken..

    We are all children of GOD

    & God is all that is

    Including me & you

  225. Spelling correction divine not Devine, sorry about that have the devil on my mind

  226. when it comes to 100% self-love, any and all false leading away from self-love is absurd, so why is the Catholic church merchant of God cult allowed to yet preach it’s holy terror against naive gay youth, your own children, who are being destroyed by these wretchedly ignorant apathetic ones upon thrones of nescience?


    because you people are all bound by one and the same forefather taboo ignoramus group mentality, where like an intersection that takes ten traffic fatalities in order to realize, “oh, i guess we should put a stop light at that intersection”.

    that’s why

    yet again, another naive unwise child of God is being held captive by the yet ignorant society that is spiritually deliberately murdering them, of most who do not comprehend their own psychological issues that lead to positive well being, of what is even more absurd, is that the catholic church cult DOES KNOW intellectual understandings, who choose to go against our worldwide mental health findings collected over decades now, where i ask, where is the Supreme Court in all of this obvious allowance of negligence, at the rate of 12 LGBTQ youth EVERY SINGLE DAY?????????????

    how long do we have to go, before we gather together the families, witnesses, lawyers, in bringing laws down upon the catholic church, not just at the Supreme Court level, but at a world level, of so many gay youths i know of out there in the world, in countries where the catholic cult is allow to preach whatever they not just foolishly, no, NEGLIGENTLY, KNOWINGLY DO?

    there is only one legal perspective that is 100% factual description of the catholic cult, and that IS >>>>>>>NEGLIGENCE CAUSING DEATH<<<<<<<<<

    of any and all who align themselves, even if unwisely like i know many are, where the catholic cult is of deliberate propaganda negligence causing death(witch hunting) again all one billion of us of the LGBTQ worldwide community……..YOUR HONOR!

    how is it possible, that any of us turn away from the truth about the catholic cult? Are we afraid of them? i am not!

    the biggest bully in wise deliberate negligence seeking death, leading of the bullies, is the catholic cult, that is yet allowed to continue in it's spiritually murderous campaign.

    honestly, if allowed to line up all the catholic cult leaders and shoot them, i would execute them all without hesitation, unable to stop till everyone of them is no longer breathing, where already they are spiritually cast out of heaven as the murderers they CLEARLY ARE FOUND AS SUCH, deserving of execution by a firing squad, where i volunteer for the easy task, thank you.


  227. I need some advice.. I have an audition tomorrow, had less than a week to prepare, (I’m not going to make or rake it with just one small part I need to work harder I need to sustain the momentum so this part is vital… I’ve done it before, only just last week, I can do it again I’m the best & I want to be number one forever & I will with your help) 

    I’m auditioning for the role of Emily’s father 45yr old dad, I need to write & perform a 60 sec monologue as a father advising his daughter about her mother’s infidelity Emily is 20-25yrs old she’s my daughter and my wife’s a slut, & I have to advise her about “how the smallest things matter” that’s all I know I don’t have the script they said I can get my inspiration from ANYWHERE, that’s why I want this part. I like the modus operate…

    This is what I got so far… (It’s big but not long enough ha) I took some inspiration from what John Lennon said to his son and added the rest myself but it needs more… help me, complement me!!!
    (Fuck me ha….. or should I fuck you?) 

    Ok here it goes

    “My dear angel, life never goes to plan it’s what we learn in-between that makes us who we are. Enjoy the moment confront your fears & be accepting of others learn from your mistakes right the wrongs of the past & reward yourself with the future..

    All is what it is  & it is because it just is …”

    so thats about 60 sec’s of monologue can you help me with the other 9 sec’s ?

  228. tell her to type in in the browser address bar.

    and leave it at that, letting her find and develop her own belief system, where most of you parents are too ignorant in the first place, if anything, adding more harm than good.


  229. should i tell her I love her ?

  230., your hilarious

    are you insinuating my daughters a lesbian !

    how very RUDE

    Emily is my Daughter

    no mATTER WHAT …

    I still love her !

  231. as for one’s own self-love esteem development, healthy safe environmental places are key, where what you have learned has indeed worked well for your needs being met, likewise holds true for all others, in our ability to bring change to an individuals life, no matter how insignificant an increase of time in the more positive environmentals we may not even question as to the daily life of an individual, it is always the environmental that makes or breaks a person’s well being.

    when it comes to others, we need only recall our own life experiences, in knowing of our own self, self of another, of oneness understanding direction of the eternal all you.

    and well, warn them of the pitfalls of substance abuse addiction development, the consequences they can look forward to, and the great difficulty of poor to nil chance of recovery, once they become chronic addicts, lot’s of in your face books on the subject, and why not take them a rehab center, and see first hand, the best teaching they will ever get, real life experience, better than any school is able to teach, without the real life experience of being the self of those there who are snared by what started out for them as unwiseness, too late.

    it is all one generational snaring, unsnaring, at all times, of constant eternal flow, of change by means of flawless feeling divine pure true real exceedingly graceful self loving compassionate wise YOU!

    love one another, as though your own self, where in truth, we all are exactly the same, of the beginning, same thru eternal future.

    so speak to one another as though speaking to your own self, in validation and reaffirmation for you and others, at all times, towards the healthiest, happiest you can all BE, naturally so of the body to do so, when we pay attention to our body, body the same as you of another.

    lead by example of what has worked well for you, for that is the best we can do, of others who you inspire, or don’t inspire, of the individual who has to welcome change to their own life, no matter how much another may wish it upon them, no, people usually just follow their own light, although it is all the same oneness self evolving same light growing brighter, healthier worldwide, eternally altering the future.

    there is nothing more valuable in life, than investment of time and effort in understanding your own mental, emotional, sexual, spiritual well being, in becoming conduct healthy oneness with loving lover happiness with another, which is all i want in life, don’t care about all you and your status quo, that really has no value whatsoever, other than maybe a safer environment, maybe my own hot tub would be nice, easy to achieve on one’s own.

    follow your own oneness light with pure true clean and sober healthier feeling others as your own orignial self.

    anyway, they all are important words, where i may cum in nine seconds when you start fucking me, but as for guidance of one’s beloved child, i pray you all take alot more time than i see most of you yet don’t.

    all too often too late, wishing forever if only you had

    bless you all


  232. & just because your mother is a Slut !

    I still Love her !


    always have & always will….


  233. I love you to !!!


    more than you’ll ever realize

  234. Real eyes, realize, real lies


  235. and what my higher subtle awareness intellect…..or did you forget?

  236. the word slut is a derogatory false slang word, used by hypocrisy heart fools led and leading astray from the truth of our pure true true nature subtle higher awareness intellect, that only you can invite to one’s own self.

    although you can nurture and protect it in another, wisely so, as those who are indeed, your own self.


  238. why say something leading like that, ‘more than you will ever realize’? uhm?

    let’s see, i realize the presence of Jesus, and i can travel thru time and space anywhere my 100% pure true subtle higher awareness choses to go, in feeling of the spirit of others who do not know my ability…that you forgot about.

    so why say something foolish that invites unresolve in your own self-actualization process? uhm?

    i realize all of mankind’s eternal past, present, future in the eternal day higher subtle intellect awareness halo perspective discerning, and you say i don’t realize?

    oh really?

    are you sure about that?

    elaborate freely as a classmate friend, if you will, enlighten ‘me’, you know, i just may be able to comprehend more than you know about my abilities i do not speak of.

  239. if you already resolved it, why bring it up? uhm?


  240. nope ZIP IT


    shut up !!

  241. ZIP



  243. oh for FUCK”S SAKE


  244. can we just fuck instead, i don’t much care about the aimless wannabe crowd

  245. can you you get a penis transplant, ill pay for the surgery…

    yer of course !!

    we can fuck as often as you want, so long as you let me fuck you when im horny too..

    its not all about YOU

    it’s about me TOO

  246. BUT i get bored with sex

    I prefer to make LOVE

    just so you know !!!

    thats what I WANT


    uhm ???

  247. oh I really wanna apologize for the past, if I ever made you feel insecure that was not my INTENT !!

    my INTENT was to be ME !!

    & at the same time I just wanted to ensure

    I was RIght for YOU !

    TOO ..


    cause I care about YOU

    just as equally as I care about ME

    & in the mean time

    I appreciate the fact that

    you never DOUBTED ME !!


    but i never become complacent …

    cause knowing YOU

    you’ll tell me to get fucked at a moments notice …





    its always a combined EFFORT

    very little TIME to rest

    I would expect that every waking moment would require a sincerity & i am strong enough to walk away should I EVER

    feel i am not GOOD for you !

    its a challenge

    but that’s life


    i’d rather HANG MYSELF

  248. HEY YOU !!

    enough !!

    i’m getting giddy …

    back to EARTH

    keep it REAL @!

  249. life is a mystery

    the past is history

    the future is awesome

    the moment

    is TRUE SOME

  250. during our self-actualization process, at all times, we are mirroring connecting with others, who may be ahead of us or behind us in self-actualization centering and grounded atonement in just being your original self.

    toss in uncertainties that most any others have, that are on the top ten list of irreducible differences we all dread to become aware of in other potential partners, and well, we retreat to safey, frustrated, betrayed, forgetting that every individual is unique in their own seeking oneness atonement self-actualization natural occurring subconscious awakening growth.

    so ya, i was of transference, numerous times, always feeling truth of in awareness later of the transference that occurred during my own dealing with whatever it was of others, ya, it just happens like it does, where in truth, that is what is purely 100% natural, while not feeling ok in others we project onto, of whatever was of our shit like we all do, but if you knew as a close confidant of the exact cause of my emotional abreaction outbursts(read:inappropriate), you would empathize fully, as a true and faithful friend till the end.

    but if you are not of sincere earnest authentic genuine seeking of emotional honest safety of a life partner, then why not just say so, and stop with the play me some more why don’t you? i like it, the push pull action reaction passive aggressive lacking resolve assertiveness emotional punching bag sparring……..NOT!

    and as for your own self-actualization, well, what happened to ‘you know me’ like you know i do? uhm?

    trust is earned, not betrayed

    so did you find what you are looking for?

    or like me, are you still in that dreaded i’d rather be somewhere else feeling of coming and going complacency? uhm?

  251. you thought I was goning to SAY 3 SOME

    how very DARE you , what are you insinuating that im GAY

    ive never been so insulted in all my life


    of course

    why would i want anyone else



  252. the moment?

    and what moment are you referring to?

    how be we go to the moment of a gay youth contemplating their planning of their suicide as we speak?

    wanna go there, cause they are there in this moment, doing exactly ‘that’

    as the gun goes off, the leading cause of male suicide in the USA, firearms

    way to go to all you of right to own a gun that your child just shot themselves with, guess you sing a different tune now, yes?

  253. TRUE SOME

  254. is that real enough for you? uhm?

  255. SAYS



    shut the fuck up !!!\

  256. how much is

    the SURGERY going to cost ??

  257. i don’t even know who you are, other than the oneness i always have been as a brother/sister, in what has been merely of my fearless introspection retrospecting delving into my own self-actualization processing that i did get lost in on several occassions, while you got lost with someone else, as is what is normal in real life, i cannot compete with on the fucking internet, ya, id rather be dead too, in this nowhere place i feel trapped in all the time like i do, making the best of what i have, my skills, my experience, my passion, my calling, in one day finding true love 2

    where i am just going to let who ever slows down long enough to take a sincere look in deciding on their own to stay with me, no more of this fucking chase chase chase around the runarounds who leave you feeling emotionally destroyed, like Troy did to me, not much wonder i ditched his fucked up ass.

  258. ha

    the breast implants?

    i have no idea, and by the time i can afford it, it will be too late anyway, i will have died by then

    how’s that for my bashed in optimism lately?

  259. I’ll make sure not one more soul

    leaves this world permutably

    with out a valid reason !

    i’ll be the gate keeper

    that the best can offer !

  260. ya well, you will have to get behind me if you want that job fullfillment biyatch, your wiser brother


  261. Prematurely … opps


  262. behind you !!

    show me your


  263. there is a difference between being obsessed and being highly motivated in goals

  264. they all have valid irrational low low morale depressed drugged drunk reasoning to escape thru suicide tunnel vision without a loyal friend of forever feeling for them to realize does exist in the world like i do…….and do not, where i cannot accomplish this goal on my own

  265. NUP !!!

    but being a gay fence sitter was always a cool way to get what I really wanted from the BEST of COURSE

    h a ha

    it just an illusion !!!


    go fishing

    lets catch a big FISH

  266. SAYS’s

  267. i just want them to feel their pure true 100% self-love as my own, in realizing someone does care about them profoundly so, in holding the sacred work in their hand to cherish every day they wake to, the rest of their precious love filled protected by God’s truth way of life as is, was, and forever more…….my own

    just as already…….i am


  268. SHUT UP !!!

    im going



    after you’ve forgiven ME

    I got to go now &

    cook my Baramandi


    im hungry

    but do

    LOVE you

    more than you’ll ever


  269. Im really intelligent

    just so you know what your dealing with !!!

    competition is cool

    so long as the RULES

    are known by both

    PLAYERS !!!

  270. takes ONE to know ONE 🙂

    I LOVE YOU !!!

    always have always will


  271. i prefer open like minded conversation in exploring thru elaboration the connecting of the dots in what is the macro thinking vast kingdom of heaven halo truth awareness perspective on all issues that OBVIOUSLY need addressed.

  272. i am not a player

  273. although i will play, ‘you the fool’

  274. it’s a play i am writing……..ha

  275. i got played enough lately, time for something genuine

  276. oh shut up….

    im your NEMESIS

    be grateful for what your got

  277. it’s all annoying rubbish, where all any of us need is to feel not only good about their sexual bodies, but 100% as IS their sexual body without need of even one word of any language spoken in the world

    it’s all just noise to me, when i am where i yearn to be, as the loving lover happiness i belong of in oneness with all others, exclusively of course to just ONE


  278. greedy fucking Byiatch

    always wanting MORE

    shut up & take IT


    this is as good as its gonna get


  279. SHUT THE FUCK UP !!@!

  280. last thing i need in my life is a


  281. indeed, grateFULLness is something you cannot ever willingly be of retribution vengeance seeking of another, if you are of oneness of their grateFULLness that IS of YOU!

  282. unless you are the middle child, being annoyed by the older brother, annoying transference to the younger brother, naturally so, until the day comes where you empathize with your younger brother, in seeking retribution vengeance with your older brother for what stupidly did……….to both of you

  283. where upon both brothers are and should be grateful of you in correcting not only of your own self, but self of another

    do as i do

  284. oh shut up …

    i must remember to get some really strong sleeping tabs there is know way, im sharing a bed with YOU

    unless you are ASLEEP


  285. im going out to get some chocolate, the sweet kind you put in your mouth………..uhm…….the sweet kind that melts………uhm………the sweet kind that is brown…….uhm……..oh, the kind you have to pay for!………uhm………oh fuck it, why not just enjoy being ‘me’?

  286. only thing you need in life is a creamer

  287. for pouring your tea…….oh wait, that would be my task, cause i make the best tea………uhm…….why do you deliberate inject your thoughts for a plausible outcum?

    right, the answer is the question

  288. the greatest foe of mankind, is they don’t ask enough questions…….OBVIOUSLY

  289. actually the subconscious mind….i am……does not ever sleep

  290. it is more about trusting than it is forgiving that which was already forgiven, where the real life problem, is the cycle pattern behavior……..slut

  291. oh sorry, i barely know you, that was a projection transference meant for another

  292. why is the cycle pattern behavior of low self-esteem promiscuity sluts either don’t wake up at all, or too late after they enjoyed their arrogant bogas tap dance prance with you, of you finally walking in realizing the level of their promiscuity that has now become a cycle pattern snare for them, seemingly inescapable……..for them……..not me

  293. in asking a potential partner what they are looking for, if they cannot answer extensively, uhm, run

  294. if they do not know what they are looking for in who they are, how can they ever be of atonement within, in connecting with another, aside from our sexual pleasuring, will they are seemingly of always looking, you know the kind, you are in the room with them, but their spirit feels like it is not there……..with you…….of the only place they ever want to be found, you know, that wonderful surrendered oneness constant pure true flawless healing feeling being in love with someone and they you, however sporadic and momentary, such is life, that either grows less soradic, or God forbid, their higher self-esteem you worked with, becomes arrogant and becomes a runaround.

    ah well, we all meet one another thru each other’s eyes in the eternal day awareness of who is who in all of you

  295. its ok you can wander a little bit

    just don’t get LOST


  296. I get a hard on …

    when you surrender !

    rescue me !

    is that evil ?>

  297. my submissive anal retentive biyatch has razor sharp claws that make Satan look like a twit, sorta like a cat in heat, that wants it, but getting close to fucking it, well, i am sure there is a few male cats out there missing an eye, no longer two

  298. a day of truth, a day of reckoning, a day of always learning…..the hard way, about the truth, that sometimes people pretend they love you, and not really, as much as you hope they always would, as they wander away from you with anyone other than you.

    ah well, better to find out now than later… i back pedal…..again

  299. maybe we unknowingly project it, that results in their own subconscious intuitive awareness of our uncertainty of them, during the initial trust building and opening up disarming phase, that sometimes navigates well, and other times not so well, in not overcoming each other’s fear of each other, necessary for oneness to open wide in fearlessness as our real self?

    or maybe they were not attracted to us in the first place….

    or maybe they are their own worse enemy fool when it comes to one’s own self-love atonement oneness seeking wisely, unwisely, of what heaven always is, only love

    or maybe……..when you find yourself questioning it, that there is unresolve as to the lacking connectedness one is accustom to, of the other perhaps not as accustom to as you have become

    or maybe……..there really is another they are distracted with in their own heart, mind, body, spirit and soul of oneness greater with another than you?

    there is no maybe when people are in love with someone, always of sweet anticipation of the hour in which we will joyfully great them again, and as the hour passes of our expectation in seeing them……..well…….do that enough times and you realize maybe you were more of one’s own imagination than the reality check that is indicative of this truth…… when you wait for a train they said they would be on, flowers in hand, and no one there, standing there as everyone walks past you……..feeling like the fool you were played as………not much wonder i hesitated with Troy?

    who does that to another person anyway?


  300. ive had a slight accident i plowed my car into the vegetable patch its bogged, my car is stuck in the garden, it has not stopped raining for 4 days, its not my fault that the weather is fucked

    my car is stuck, im fucked

    my garden is ruined …

    im going to bed

    pray for me

    the neighbors will turn when they realize they cannot get out of the driveway


    why is life so HARD

  301. oh right, the intrinsic/extrinsic homophobic forces…….thank you catholic cult members!

  302. or maybe i just need to not concern myself ever again in who i am, in just letting someone love you?

    ok, we all either love someone or we don’t, and likewise they too either love you or they don’t, as far as passionately love you as the lover you both are.

    and well, when we sit with the truth of our own life experience of when we did love someone like we passionately did, the pitter patter of the heart racing like it does in sweet anticipation of seeing them each day, you can establish for your self a sense of when someone does indeed love you for you…….or not.

    you ever see someone and feel as though they are your lover meant for you in wishing they were, that drives you so wild in your mind of your imagination in having sex with them so easily?

    uhm………just don’t ask me who…….well ok, here is a hint, he was a she

  303. well ok, she was not a he, but in my imagination of my female sexual self, she was a butch lesbian into some really crazy sex toys i had not even heard of before now!


  304. if you tAKE away the LOVE

    what R



  305. sweet dreams of only love

  306. God Bless

    true 2 the


    it’ll will never end, she don’t shut up NEVER !!

    She’ll NEVER SHUT UP !!!!!!

    thats why I LOVE her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


  307. ohh, you would have to post that song….

  308. WOULD MIND staBBing me a little to the LEFT

    I got SHIT

    i need too sort out

    Once im in the WILL

    you can MURDER



    Of uck just HANG me


  309. say: Chiken or LAmb !

    Lamb thank’s hold the Garlic,,,

    see already saw me pop the Viagra .. I dont wanna push my LUCK

    what If i get FUCK ?

  310. are you drunk?

    from the bubbling stream God measures out to you?

    or are you actually drunk drunk, as in stumbling aimlessly along without a wise healthy helmsman able to see you thru safe passage?

    you know i despise drunkards.

    ya, you got shit, one of the irreducible difference on my list, that only you can change.

    as for the WILL, how about the only WILL that truly matters, the WILL to love others who need our wise compassionate loving embrace, in bringing forth oneness devoted works for them to eternal have forever more, as is our own oneness constant loving divine pure true real self you, of 2, of constant loving lover happiness? uhm?

    it takes 2 to feel ‘that’, not one, albeit ONE

    what happened to the urgency speech?

    is there anyone there that cares at all, like i do?

    is anyone brave enough to come forth to save others?

    is this how you would treat your own beloved gay child?

    then why are you so fucking cold to me, as one who is most wise, most compassionate, most loving in establishing safe passage for all your beloved gay children? uhm?

    maybe that’s why Jesus let them kill him, cause he got tired of the lackluster zeal so obvious of his stupid followers that they too all were, in helping establish his 100% conviction Jesus reveals, when he stepped WILLINGLY thru deaths door, at the very hands of those he rose up against, for sake that our conviction BEcome 100% as regards the TRUTH i have spoken?

    are you people fucking deaf and blind?

    is there anyone with a caring fucking soul on this fucked planet of the generational forefather snare, or should God destroy it and start over, of what is already destroyed, your ability to trust, because you don’t want 2, exactly like you don’t even care about your own gay children.

    ya, well i have had enough of you all, to last all eternity, in feeling how it feels of my trying to be a friend with those who offer no friendship.

    cold fucking biyatches is how it feels to be friends with all of you.

    as cold a treatment as i have ever experienced in my entire life, so fucking arrogant you people choose to be.

    i realize now, suicide is not a sin, no, i used to think it was, but now i know who the intrinsic/extrinsic spiritual murderers ARE!

    and God is coming to search the truth revealing within all of your hearts, that i already know, in what all TRUTH constantly IS, as regards love vs hate, compassion vs apathy, wisdom vs ignorance, unafraid vs fear, uncontrolling vs controlling, lovers vs rapists, savers of life vs murderers……on and on the list is long, shall i continue?

    do you know who you are?

    then why are you all so fucking apathetic with one who is most wise, most compassionate, most loving?

    what is it going to take to reveal what 100% conviction feels like, my death too?

    where i would rather be dead than keep on with this fucking apathetic lackluster zeal every single one of you yet ARE!

    i guess i already left you all behind, in seeking those of conviction as my own pure true heart, mind, body, spirit and soul.

    fuck you people are so fucking cold!

    my God, where have all the spiritual leaders gone?

    do any of you actually give a fuck at all, while this fucking spiritual murdering continues right in front of us?

    ya well, here comes the holy sword of TRUTH, that i will use upon everyone of you, just as i have, in every second of my life remaining, discerning as to all your apathy in all your words of lame ass self-serving nothingness snare and snaring of the vicious spiritual murderous bound fateful generational taught and learned paths, that so many of you are totally oblivious to, with complete disregard for sake of your own beloved gay children yet coming into awareness as we speak, every blessed day, the world over.

    actions speak louder than words

    so i ask, don’t waste any more of my precious time in tiresome rhetoric going nowhere, fence sitters, as time is of utmost urgency today, not tomorrow, where all change of the future occurs TODAY, in what is the eternal day TODAY, past, present, eternal day TODAY future, of the light and darkness that rolls on thru, generation after generation, all the taboo, all the wretchedness, that all of you allow to continue to perpetuate, or just as badly, do nothing at all, in aligning yourselves as observers in entertainment of all death? of all destruction? of all false oppression?

    truly, wretched EVIL DOES EXIST in your hearts, so devoid of pure true constant flawless exceedingly graceful healing feelings of what IS our true divine pure real self nature, of all you who are unaware of God’s wise light awakening presence in this yet captive and bound world of all foolish wretched darkness of ignorance apathetic unloving illness of heart you people DO ENJOY BEing!

    OBVIOUSLY, are you not?

    it is the TRUTH that will bring all of you to your knees before God, begging forgiveness as you recoil in awareness awakening of all your wretched treachery evil illness of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, so much so you will seek your own death in utter humiliation of the world which peers upon the TRUTH in baring witness of your horrid evil ways of all death, of all destruction, of all false oppression suppressing of another divine child of God.







    uhm………you got any Twinnings English Breakfast Tea, the robbers mine………actually, i loaned it to them, with interest.


    biyatch! 😉

  311. left alone, like you leave me alone too, they fall from grace into death, every day

    all because of the exact same way you leave me alone, leaving them alone when you do, of my not being able to reach them all on time, without your help.

    i am 100% the conviction motivation empowerment of God’s constant TRUTH awareness you all seek, and yet none of you come forth in earnest sincere compelling WILL to bring change that is so desperately needed, as the numbers of suicides continue to climb, day after blessed day, a direct result of all the binding group mentality apathy, ignorance, and unloving will that holds all of you in the cycle pattern fence sitting, doing nothing, where it is the our sacred devoted works that are cause for change of the eternal all future we leave behind, of only so many days of blessed life to make it so.

    so i ask, how many more are you people going to just stand there and do nothing day after day, in letting them fall from grace, DIRECTLY as a result of all inactivity?

    long enough till one of your own beloved gay children gets swept away forefather mad flood drowning taboo ignorance?

    let the TRUTH enter FULLY into your minds in awakening you of the urgency that is ALWAYS NOW, TODAY, where change is possible, lest you remain as so many of you yet are of my clarity, in seeing all your inactivity apathetic unloving group mentality bound captivity, that is indeed, DIRECT CAUSE and EFFECT for all those who fall from grace thru deaths door, at the whims of the yet perpetuated hate the catholic cult members are of continuation of in our worldwide society waking up to all TRUTH that God is bringing to this world, that God brought to this world already that most do not realize what we all look for, has already come, of the fact, that TRUTH spans across all time, past, present, eternal all future, binding like the truth everywhere we look, constantly IS there for us to peer upon like we all subconsciously take in and attempt to process and articulate, where indeed, as Jesus wisely asks, “Where are your true spiritual leaders in this world that is without wise compassionate loving leaders, left to the whims of those who sit foolishly unknowingly as the fools sitting on thrones of nescience?”

    we are escaping the forefather past daily, where some of us do not make it thru the horrid valley of deathful out numbering spiritual murderous bullies who i have seen utter death to us like many do, as though 100% sinners, that precious 14 year old gay youths continue to hear and deal with, alone, on their own, some with parents equally of the stupid catholic cult leader perpetuation of the spiritual murderous hate that is 100% cause for pushing gay youth over the edge, combined with numerous other issues that likewise are a manifestation of the valley of death they are trying to make their way thru, without a wise loving compassionate brother and sister to come forth before them, of eternal forever stance like ‘i am’

    you are murderous hearts, in all your apathetic inactivity, and i am truly sick of feeling as though i am worthless to this world in how you cold biyatches yet leave me alone to feel daily.

    asking yet again, what have i got to come back here for, besides the empty nothingness horrid fucking taboo of your group mentality snare? uhm?

    fuck, so fucking apathetic you fucks ARE!

    you don’t fucking care about anyone but your own self, as regards lending a hand to the LGBTQ community.

    so i ask, why bother saving an orphan child, only to walk in a fucked world of such unbelievable treachery one day like so many are experiencing right now?

    ok……….that was abit stupid a thing to say, but can we not fight God’s wise compassionate spiritual war on all fronts?

    and have we not being doing just that for how many centuries?

    and are we not doing just that in the world of the many fronts in battle with the ignoramus forefather snare unknowingly of so many yet held captive so naively like the terrorists are?

    i came up with a solution for terrorism.

    i looked into how it is they recruit these kids into terrorism, and brain wash their minds………and the main actions that plys them, is money, food to eat, comradery, and the lure of powerful seductive weapons.

    all trickery, right?

    where in our more robust land of prosperity, our people are well in heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, of pure true intuitive feelings of their divine self is cognitively of without effort ease in feeling terrorism is absurd, unloving, horrific, unwelcomed in their hearts that are of our loving oneness prosperity.

    so the safe passage for the eternal all future, is by means of prosperity, and perhaps of vast prosperity one day, when the businessman gurus give back to the world, instead of the insatiable desire fire greed that more is falsely better for their soul, when it is not true at all, of the false in feeling ego some eventually realize the truth of what the false egos are cause for, as evident of the same mentality in some regions of the world, help captive in stifling poverty, such as the Philippines yet is dealing with, a lack of leadership, at the whims of business greed, both internationally, and ingrained locally, of it people of scrambling to deal with the lack of work and low wages, that is a result of so many competing for the jobs that are available, the business elitists, taking advantage of the entire country of people, too naive in knowing what the rest of the world is standing up against, the very thing that is holding them captive, internation corporate greed, a global phenomena i see occuring, of entrenched decades, centuries of held down oppression of so so many millions of people till this day of introspection retrospection reckoning.

    and as for you business elite, your minds likewise are indeed of the same invisible intrinsic/extrinsic mind trap forces, identical in nature as is the forefather taboo against homosexuality, in what is of all cycle pattern snaring of the world’s heart, mind, body, spirit and oneness soul of the eternal all yet dealing with it, just as the did, just as they are not, just as they will continue to deal with, where WE are the ones to invite change to our hearts, of so so many who pray daily for a miracle of love to open wide our oneness souls, so that we may all embrace each other at the brothers and sisters we purely truly eternally all ARE!

    my God, the oppression in the Philippines and Indonesia is in likeness of the 1930s oppression, all of cause and effect lacking of wiser leadership, still, as it was, and will be, as it yet IS, it’s entire 94 million people held in oppression, that they don’t even seem to realize what is yet cause for it, global corporate greed.

    so know your mind traps well people, of cause and effect in the unfolding future………..DIRECTLY BE Cause of YOU! 😉

    bless you all


  312. i cannot sleep, i ve been awake for two weeks since new years …..

    wake up everyone

    time to wake up…

    is that a heal in my ass, ouch

  313. ah ya, let me help you with that, you lame ass biyatches! 😉

    i don’t know why i was being too soft on you lame ass fucks, in not being my pure true conviction angst, intrinsic homophobia that i was subconsciously detecting of you perhaps? you think? you know, go slow, make love instead of the angry fuck me harder sex?

    well ok, i love that too!


  314. change only occurs when one invites change to their own heart, to always realize only love of head

    you can interpret that anyway you want


  315. anyway, do what you want in life, where i am looking for people who have the same earnest awareness in doing something conviction of heart as my own.

    and well, anyone outside of the realm i am pure in conviction of, i guess for me, is both insulting and a waste of precious time, yes?

    like minded students who collaborate on a project they want to get involved with, in knowing the need, even not necessarily knowing the need pure and true as i do, conviction, or………..they don’t give a fuck.

    so where does that leave you, is all you have to ask yourself as where i am in the future, where i already am, and have been, me being me, alongside all you lame ass dysfunctional apathetic annoying annoying annoying fucks!


    blessings to all


  316. ok, im bored now, gotta go, unless you have something inspiring and compelling to say? uhm?

  317. Nothing inspiring, just enjoy your day

  318. i would if i had someone to enjoy it with

    and again, the answer is the question

  319. enjoy me.. now

  320. so long as mankind puts wealth ahead of the life of others, this world is doomed to see an even darker future than the one we live in

  321. insatiable desire fires of gross materialism, as a false separation barrier measure of one over another, that leads to ruin of one’s own soul, hypnotizing false delusion in others, in perpetuation of where insatiable will lead to, yet more and more false separation nonattendance of so so many souls here in the eternal all future we see with clarity of just how bad it is getting when we look at the big picture of the undermining that is taking place with the poor, treated as outcasts by the status quo arrogant rich, who are not rich at all, leading of the naive into believing that their way of life is best, that they are better people, far from the truth i feel with clarity.

    i would rather be poor and feel constant love, than be rich and have no love at all


  322. not a concern, when one can discern

  323. as the richest ONE of all! 😉


  324. Yes well constant love is as rich is at gets

  325. that is all the human race was, of everthing that was always free, till the businessman came along and decided to sell everything back to us, at a premium.

    this insatiable desire fire, left to the whims of corporate control, will be what hell on earth is like it is today, of mankind putting money ahead of human life, like they yet do with regards to access to HIV medication.

    the world is doomed to repeat itself, so long as we do not stand up for those without a voice, of corporations that will see far more heartlessness of evil in turning a blind eye like they yet do today.

    is that human of us?

    no it is not, we are allowing corporations to dictate to us, and it has to stop, where governments do have to the power to do so.

  326. we are children at play in the same play ground, talking about who ever and what ever we want, such as what happened with the Jews during WWII, of how many million souls were tormented to death?

    ah, guys, we have an even greater story over here, and we are all cause for the prison camp of we who hold the keys to freedom of every single soul WE CAN SAVE!

    and if we don’t, what are we teaching our children, that this is ok behavior to let others die because our greed is more important?

    well, that is what we are teaching the next generation, to be as though the owner operators of a Nazi prison camp, that looks and feels as exactly that as it was in WWII.

    i know, i am living it.

  327. if that truth does not bring you to your knees before God in weeping of compassionate tears, then you are not connected to your own soul, in being lead astray and bound by those who control this world.

    i do not have a piano to play, that i could not play even if i had one, but i do enjoy sculpting, in leaving these stones on the world for all eternity, of these very things i say, scribed in the back of them. 😉

    so ya, it always felt like a prison camp to me, and still, is IS

  328. Well sort it out…

    We started it

    Well finish it ….

  329. Hey, how’s YOU? how R doing ?

    HOWS THONGS with You ?

    Things not thongs

    yer I’m Good

    Thanks 4 asking….

    Well have s good one

    Don’t forget me !

    The one who pics up the PIECES

    You shattered TEA CUP

  330. Shiver it up mrme

    Ram it ino

  331. step thru the door to where you want to be as your most loving lover happiness self oneness with self of another most like your constant loving radiant brilliant bright holy joyful light that not only lights up within both of you at all times, indeed it is the oneness light within eternal all you, of only loving happiness pure and true, in lighting up the entire world, for all eternity, does it not?

    just BE yOUR Self!

    and forget about how others may foolish want you to be in all those who are not their pure true divine real self!

    fuck that anal retentive crowd i and others out grew and are OUT growing daily!


    if you don’t know who you are, then how can one be who they are, worse, how can another know your pure true vulnerable sensitive to all things unloving of self, inability of oneness self of another? uhm?

    you only have so many blessed days of life, each one a gift, i suggest you start living NOW as YOU!


    and well i waited for the party that has already begun without us, in finding true love oneness within another who does love me true, so easy like we just do, constantly being our happier gay ass loving lover self at all times!

    what is left to say, butt hell no way?


    well, you said it first…TOO LATE!


    forever more


  332. WILL we ever be together?

    depends on the art sale

    if you can call the devoted works of heaven, art…

    abit more than mere art, are we not?

    salvation of the entire world is more like it…

    for those who have come to know their own soul

    and well, if not, let us show you, in lighting up the eternity path, shall WE?

    i am of God’s collaboration oneness WILL

    inspite of all you murderous ones without any love whatsoever for us, thinking you do, not even knowing us, or care to know us at all!

    fucking useless to God is the TRUTH of so many of you, indeed, what Jesus rises up against eternally!

    ‘i am’


  333. save another, and you realize the one who saves and is saved……..IS you!

    for is it not the entire world the kingdom of heaven?

    and so what of these changes that need to occur in us all, here in the kingdom of heaven?

    you want always to be surrounded by only love at all times, everywhere we are, are we not?

    so then why all the useless hesitation of friends among friends, being as though not friends at all?

    you insult only yourself, not ever me!

    im leaving to go be where i am always made to feel more than just welcome, ‘i am’ who they are at all times within!

    not how you all treated me as though sin…

    it is you without God who’s hearts will one day shatter!

    and why?

    because you do not have ‘me’ as your best friend…

    and well, how can i stay with hearts of clay? uhm?

    i already know how the story ends, of my heart shattered along time ago, of yours yet to begin


  334. truly i know now, you are not a friend at all…..

    to the one who will kill themselves this day

    ya you!

    hearts of clay!

    oh hey, it’s ok, it’s only a precious teenage life, so beautiful that you let drown………WILLINGLY

    as God says, it is your WILL that is most important, is it not?

    duh duh duh duh!

    fuck you people are so fucking rudely ignorant!


  335. ah haaaa……one compelling feeling of why Jesus left you lame ass fucks behind, cause he could not stand being among you!

    makes perfect sense now!

    as well wake you all the fuck up to pure true conviction of heart, let you be too late to save your own precious beloved child from your own wretched twisting and twisting of spiritually murderous heart ways, devoid of love, in all your evil falsehood ways, claiming you are of God, when evidence clearly points 100% that none of you are knowing of God, exactly that of not knowing ‘me’, of no desire to know ‘me’!

    you will all face God’s 100% truth i have spoken, and you will all fall to your knees begging God’s forgiveness when you all do, where any of you yet standing will be 100% seen as the fool you yet are!


  336. the only one to summon to this falsehood gathering, is the 100% pure true spirited Jesus, where 100% truth is not able to ever change or die, where the 100% truth of is that Jesus does not ever die, of that which is not able to die, that is yet of cause for more of us dying, the lying ass motherfucking 100% TRUTH of ignoramus all you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i strike you all in the face, in your yet seeking the condemning of us to death, by means of your wretched twisting and twisting of hypocrisy murderous hearts overflowing with hateful unwise apathy, without God’s omnipotence i summon to this untruthful viperous nest of snakes, crawling away in thinking you can hide from God?

    think again i say to all of you who do not think at all!

    your time has come cowards, for you all to face God’s unyielding TRUTH that none one of you shall be able to hide from there in eternity, of all eternity who will look back and not remember you at all, eternally forgot as the evil empty nothingness you unknowingly all were, causing of more and more death each blessed day here in heaven!

    you are not a friend of God, nor of me and my brothers and sisters, nor shall any of you ever be found as such, so long as your murderous campaign leads you in evil ways, as evident of the TRUTH that you all do!

    you will not enter heaven with us, until the day you shed your old man ways that are without God’s wise loving compassionate eternal all TRUTH!

    rather you will all be forgotten by the eternal all who are there as we speak, looking upon the evident truth of your spiritual murderous ways, as what you are, as being far worse than empty nothing, indeed you are delight of evil hatred, ostracizing us night and day, day and night, every blessed day we walk among you, of we who are without doubt as to constantly knowing you are the foolish blind ones God knows perfectly well as the pompous ignoramus hate filled murderous heart liars and deniers of eternal TRUTH!

    uhm…… many minutes long was the surmon on the mount again.



    oh fuck it, this is boring, im going to the spa…..cya


  337. more than just alive, my God, wow!

    my stone work ‘Loving Lover Happiness YOU!’ is of Miko and i….

    or any of you who connect in seeing your own self oneness with another….

    i realize i yearn for belonging with him the most

    and i don’t lie to my own self or others about it….

    does not mean i will be with him one day, but i know i want to….

    he asked me to marry him last night

    he just came out and asked it out of the blue, surprise……..shock actually……WOW!

    i was like, “Duh! of course! Stupid question! 😉

    and well, life does not always unfold the way we think it will…….but i will say this, i would be happy with Miko, a pure true heart, Muslim, prays all the time, sincere, genuine, centered, knows what he wants sexually, without fear, versatile transgender like me, healthy; does not drink or do drugs, where maybe i can be the one who is to keep him on his path of destiny with ‘Loving Lover Happiness’, away from the fateful binding paths of destructive treachery others….

    well ya, that goes without saying, and for sure i can keep his ass happier than most anyone else can, and he mind….

    well ya, i know i am ‘that’ 100% for him already!

    and well, i cannot leave my own feelings and simple ignore them, that’s just foolish, of what my feelings are, like i know i feel, nothing against anyone, no, just who i love most in life, Miko.

    we are talking about him living here in Canada, going to University here, as a Canadian of course! YEAH CANADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU CANADA!!!!!!!!!…..damn, i am so proud of my country

    it is of God that he knew how i felt, as i expressed myself like i love to just be who i am, in oneness loving lover happiness with Miko in my constant yearning dreams of him, not just where i belong, butt who i am to him, and he 2 ‘me’

    please pray for us both to journey safely to one another in the months ahead.

    love one another as i have loved you, do as i do, and always you will be healthy true nature happy

    thank you

    bless you all with loving lover happiness forever more


  338. LGBTQ


    Beyond Scared Straight

    Hardened criminals at the California prison that is home to Charles Manson give teens a taste of life on the yard, where any prisoner can approach the kids and give them a feel for the dangers of prison life.


    ‎…all teens need to watch this entire educational real life experience warning of fateful destructive paths they may or may not be on….of what they can look forward to, should they continue to make unwise unhealthy following along with foolish decision others, in taking back your own wise leadership decision making i pray you all 100% commit to making for your health loving lover happiness future, that only you can do for your blessed beloved YOU, of concern for you first, and your beloved family members. This is a life long lesson you all need to 100% embrace fully today, and every day here after. Please ensure your beloved family members take time to view these educational programs we create here in America television programing, for all of our yet unwise teens here. blessings to you all

    stay on your blessed path, do not allow yourself to follow along with foolish others, as you walk into your greater mature safe future of HEALTHY CHOICES, that only you can invite to YOU, of what is your maturing invitation to cultivation BEcoming conduct of the future LEADER YOU, as the wise healthy loving compassion helmsman in ONEness with God’s omnipotent all knowing divine self wisdom WILL. Always it is your WILL that matters most, so please take time in turning to being the WILL i ask you all to always BE, as the future generation LEADERS of YOU, for sake of YOU, for sake of your BELOVED, for sake of ALL you shall ever meet, forever more, bless you all, with God’s ONEness WILL as my own.

    i ask that you take time to view all these videos, and i ask that you give the links to these five videos, to those you love and care for, as a blessing of God’s divine WILL TRUTH meant for you, meant for your beloved, in doing God’s work as a missionary of God’s ONEness ‘i am’. Thank you and blessing to you and your beloved, forever more

    if you love me and God, in the name of Jesus, you WILL do as i do….thank you to

  339. when people make excuses for themselves all the time, what is that?

    just my imagination, that’s what! duh!

    getting older, we have to deal with our unrealistic expections of these younger lovers, in facing the ok truth, that it is more us than them, when it comes to unrealistic expections that are not of their true natural attraction to the beauty of their own age group, heck, i remember being that age, and i was not attracted to anyone who was even two years older than me at all, and well, that is the TRUTH i embrace fully now, in letting go of them and my imagination….thanks Madonna

    it always was just my imagination……..although i will say this, there is nothing imaginary about how intense my full body orgasms are when someone is making love with me, of my female self, no, that is not imagination, is it? Oh wait, all our sex is of our imagination, hmmm, well ok, it’s all goodness in the end, as we all make our way in life to loving lover happiness i pray finds all of YOU!

    IS YOU!

    forever more

    be true with your lover self in tolerance of…

    no more lies
    no more excuses
    time for the true lover…

    it was over before it even started…..just my imagination running away with me….i wish! ha 😉

  340. oh well, i healed over Troy in the catharsis process, of self-actualization pure true 100% awareness of my beautiful lover self atonement i now am 100% of flawless feeling knowing……….

    i thank you all for every blessed day we walked along side one another

    im just going to have to find another muse that’s all

    i was there for them, and they will recall the fond memories i was in my every step with them, lifting them up to loving lover happiness heaven as though my own self, knowing they are my younger self.

    they are the next generation taking over where we leave off, and the phrase that best describes it, is, ‘Everyone IS a Star’

    cause 100%, we all really are…….in fact, we are made of star dust elements of what the entire universe is made of, HEAVEN

    bless you all with loving lover happiness YOU!

    forever more

    thank you

    argh…… single again, fuck…….


  341. well i’ve never danced the night away with some ones back to me before… but i still had fun..

    i mean anyone one out there could have held my hand,

    ive found myself

    i found GOD

    & everyone wants a piece Xox

  342. everyone is a piece of the intrinsic/extrinsic oneness pure true real harmonious flawless healing feeling just being YOU light evoking catharsis process, that not only shine forth the magical oneness loving lover happiness mirroring TRUTH to another, and thru another, no, it shines thru all eternity, past, present, eternal all future in ONEness of the TRUTH YOU all R, the unattend(ed)(ing) awakening out of dark ignorance sleeping divine child of God.

    wake the fuck up everyone, people are dying over here, and you there, yes you, your fateful path you blindly walk upon is rift with death all around you, do you not care at all for your own self, oneness pure loving self of another?

    blindness ignorance of these fateful path destructive issues, IS the reality check most are too asleep in ignorance to know how the fateful bound path is able to self-destruct in all the numerous ways like it statistically does……where it is as though walking mid-stream in their paths, of slightness of grace that is able to resonate in changing them however slightly; the eternal wise light of safe passage of the eternal all, is it not?

    ironically, it is of without effort ease to love another, in just being YOU of 2 of the sacred mirror of loving lover happiness, where all that is required is that they other does not want their cake and eat it 2…..argh…..such is the low self-esteem protective running running away ego…….till the day you stand still and realize no one is following you i suppose……….oh hey, that one is right up there with dancing with your back to them, yes?

    well, i guess that means the two egos succeeded in false self-destruction if the real self of another lame ass anal retentive denial lackluster have not had an anal orgasm before in my entire miserable life appeal of useless fucking approach with one another, yes?

    surely only God could ask such a question of TRUTH, yes?


    no one rules this biyatches heart, even if you control freakers think you do, no, that’s now how love just is in our pure loving adoration of another…whatever

    action speaks loudest

    go in peace

    no more returning of the empty nothing cold ego control freaker fake ass you who thought you knew the truth you ran from for so long and yet do, lack of experience i suppose, and the low self-esteem promiscuity?

    or wait, oh right, the trust, right, the betrayal, how could i forget how many times i felt that, as if i could ever trust i gain, you expect so arrogantly as the fool you yet are?

    there, your ego is officially dead

    and so is mine, such a waste of precious time, and so annoying, fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk


  343. at all times, it is about YOU, of what is the fluctuating submerging surfacing of divine real self you thru out one’s entire life journey into pure true real self awareness of loving lover happiness atonement

    in the end, it was always the player you that derailed any possible chance of pure true oneness divine constant eternal connecting of the eternal all oneness TRUE, the magic

    and well the motherfucking players along the sidelines too, but who perpetuated who thru the centuries, if it was not all fake ass you? uhm?

    ya you, nowhere man in your nowhere land kneeling before God as though your final prayer?

    i ask, who is it that really hears and feels your prayer? uhm?

    is it not the divine pure true real self you, of potential oneness loving lover happiness true of another?


    strive in reach well into the process of quality time required together bonding, so that the real self IS surfaced fully fearlessly as though without effort at all, unafraid to trust the precious lover words of another……or sabotage it again and again, in avoiding the truth of where you do constantly yearn to be found, in loving lover happiness eternal embrace

    and well, what to say, but if one more lame ass one of you comes up to me again with all your untruth insincere zeal, i won’t even say a word, because i don’t exist to your visible eye, when you yet are of two eyes, now am i? duh!


  344. anyway, nothing let to say really…

    im just going to go do this 100 stone work mission of God delivery to the world, and well, just let who ever waunders near to my peaceful artist life to either stay or walk away, without any passive aggressive needs for even words, when all i ever needed was someone to hug, and they ‘me’

    what to say to you, other than the truth of your lame lackluster insincere zeal approach just really sucks big time

    and well, i am one of the most passionate lovers i have ever met!

    uhm, you can ask around on that one if you like….


    so ya, i am just going to let people feel there own occurring lover feelings they may come to realize about ‘me’, in drawing near enough to fuck, and if not, well fuck you anal retentive denial liar biyatches, no really fuck YOU! lol 😉

    what will be will BE, just oneness ‘me’ of another and others for all eternity yet 2 cum

    ok, take care everyone….cannot stay where i don’t feel welcome, your loss, not mine, i found ‘me’


  345. oh for fuck sakes, why am i so fucking lame ass pessimistic?

    i am so not ever going to give up on Miko! NO WAY BIYATCHES!!!!

    you don’t just adore someone like that for two fucking years, and allow myself to let you think he is as though fucking nothing, when he is fucking everything to ‘me’!

    who the fuck did you people think you were to ‘me’, anyway?

    oh right, my brothers……uhm, did i tell you i wanted to have sex with my brother one time, ya, i did, and what did you lame ass fuckers do this whole fucking time, did one of you even suggest your cock might actually feel nice my ass, NOOOOOOOOOO YOU DID NOT, NOT ONE OF YOU EVER FUCKING DID!!!!!!!!!!!

    if Miko dreams of marrying me, then let our dream BE TRUE!!!!!!!!!

    easy, just surrender to the dream, walk around in it, where already Miko, YOU ARE THE DREAM COME TRUE!……..for ‘me’

    as for the rest of ya, YOU ARE ALL SO FUCKING LAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i say this for your own sake, fuck!


    God, and to think i almost fell back into your lameness, I DON’T THINK SO FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!

    i mean have you seen Miko lately? WOW!

    ok, enjoy your ass biyatches, i do!

    do as i do, and you will all live happily ever after……’me’, always it was the same feeling, someone after me enough to so easily just fuck my ass will you for fuck sakes, is that toooooo much to ask, huh, my God, how many years did i fucking wait on so many of you to finally find my ass, like found way the fuck back when……when………when they came out with the light bright peg board thingy, my pocket always full of those rainbow colored pegs, and how easily they were to………oh right, i told you that one already……true story biyatches!

    you know, we talk about fixations, and i say, eating food is a fixation, tasting of food is a fixation, listening to music is a fixation, feeling graceful is a fixation, smell is a fixation, seeing changing of light is a fixation, and yes, besides our genitals, OUR ASS IS A FIXATION!!!!!!!!!!

    the best one of all actually, cum 2…….think of it!!!!!!!!

    oh for fuck sakes, THINK ABOUT IT WILL YA!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUH!!!!!!!!!


    see what Miko does to me, makes me the most fearless love filled joyful loving lover fucker of us all, because my love is TRUE BLUE for him, he is my lucky star, and i his!

    anyway, no plans for the wedding just yet, and well, sometimes people change their minds, i won’t, but Miko may, and well, i will always love Miko no matter where he finds himself in life, always my heart is somewhere near, praying he is always safe and happy as he can possibly always just be, himself.

    bless you all with loving lover happiness as profound as Miko and ‘me’, forever more


  346. uhm…….that was some good expressing, yes?

    let me guess, you are laughing so hard, you cannot breath, and the pain is so severe in your adomminal area, with tears coming down your face, in feeling like you are taking the biggest crap of your life, yes?

    well let me enlighten you all, ok?

    there is no fucking way i am going to let any of you make me feel like i am one of your caged pet animals, GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!

    there is no cage that exists in this boys heart, in running away with Miko, forever and ever of only love’s sweet kissed, the ever so amazing oh my god sensation of yet another total shuttering of the blissful body heavenly to die four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, TENNNNNNNNN………..ok, cya


  347. she’s got but 9 chances but only one life..

    right hand slap

    she’s a black cat

  348. i am transgender female dominatrix, i am not gay, i am not lesbian, i am a femdom, with a real penis and vagina, of my versatile transgender role playing happiness, where i can only be with another femdom, of either the female or male body, and be sure to take note, most femdoms have really amazing cocks for truly mind blowing sex, each and every total body shuttering orgasmic time!

    i ask, how valuable do you suppose i am?

    can you say priceless, cause if you are not ‘Transgender LOVE’ versatile ONEness as i am, it don’t matter about your money honey, it matters about your dick and your ass!

    And another thing, how come you don’t fully 100% realize these things, cause if you did, then how come you did not make like i am the most valuable person your lame ass will likely ever of had the chance with, that you just wasted away as though i was like so not your type, when i am the kingdom of fucking heaven for those in the know of what works best in their truly fucking happy chemical releasing of anti-stress whore moning brain? uhm?

    and no………i don’t do ‘that’ any more, cause they were all worse than you, would not even suck my dick for fuck sakes, wtf is that?

    i’ll TELL YOU what the fuck that is, that is some stupid ass lame fucked off ass like you, back to the wife he likely brow beats all the time, cause he did not ever find one as truly fucking mind blown sex as he had with me honey, so just remember who you are talking to next time, ok, and will you please stop with all somewhere over the fucking rainbow shit fantasy stuckness, can we P aw aw aw awwlease just get on with the SHOW?

    thank you

    made ya laugh….. :mrgreen:



  349. God knows i don’t ever want to hurt anyone…..i don’t play that ego way any more………

    im just going to relax and see who draws near, of their own natural occurring genuine sincere authentic at ease divine pure true real self to just enjoy being around me more than another or others, and those who don’t, well, you will all waunder in your own way on lover’s road, where the one who does love ‘me’ most, wins eternal our oneness holy joyful absolute carefree constant loving lover happiness, without effort……..without doubt

    truth is, anything less is what hell is, is it not?

    so in other words, not something one need ever push, shove or fight about, where constant flowing pure true emotional honest safety is the core of everyone’s inner seeking oneness as their own self, are we not?

    follow your heart light back to YOU!

    bless you all with only love good enough to always FEEL 2 BE YOU!

  350. maybe the world has changed enough for my beloved lover to know their own self in recognizing me, ‘that’ is really all my approach as ever been thus far, having lost my beloved, wondering how do i get them………..back…… the source of our inner light ONEness, forever true, like always were born as, always it is there within the core of us all, and well, how many of us live, rather than die, because of what we wisely turn towards within, we become, the light, shining bright, the evoking catharsis processing constant mirror, of the two beloved lovers, of one that died, how would the world of been had he lived…….and well, i always felt i was of the effort of more than just two souls, no, i linked deeper than that, i linked into the eternal past, present, future oneness awareness………..i am

    and so are eternal all YOU!

    even of those who do not (yet) cognitively know this true… all are within……….the divine child of God, at all times, no matter the manifestation of the forefather snarings i see most any of you unknowingly caught in, wishing to free the eternal all you, and well, i pray one day does come, you are all set free to just be yOUR ONEness pure true divine real self YOU, for already i know, you……………R………all Stars

    forever more


  351. i am merely the opening act……greeting you…..for brother Jesus, who LOVES you!


  352. here’s a thought……….maybe i will be the one who dies this time around, who knows, my rickety bike just falls apart one day, under a bus i go, you just don’t know God’s plan at all, cause if you did, well………you would be of any useless ego waste of your own precious time in tiresome foolishness that leads to where again?

    that’s right, to where all untruthfulness is…….’i am’………not there.

    comprehendyy? 😉

    i know you do

    the generational catharsis process one can fully come into the eternal day light 100% constant flawless graceful healing feeling awarenes awake YOU!

    easily so, in you wanting to just be you, is it not?

    eternal love is what ‘i am’

    and so are you

    even of all you who do not (yet) know how it is that i see/feel the truth of all you i look upon with one eye, not two, not in heaven, the likes of some of hypocrisy heart all you, yet blind, unknowingly…… compassion now, that replaces two eyes with one constant awake cognitive flow subconscious cognitive thought processing vastness speed and breadth of the super computer brain, not really a trick, no, we are talking about appreciation of the million year old evolved remarkable YOU!

    who do not realize the control freaker peeker forefather generational snare(s) that is cause for all binding fearful ignorance blindness, intuitively knowing, but not cognitive articulation awake (yet)

    i ask, what does one value most in life?

    is it not your flawless pure flowing constantly true love feelings of your graceful divine self, *oneness of 2* heaven?

    mathematically, we start out as 1/2 + 1/2 = 1

    this is a primal urge of millions of years in pure flawless evolving, not something anyone can surpass, thinking they can, in going against our natural oneness core of our being seeking at all times, nor would the want to once fully of the eternal day oneness awareness, yes?

    primal purity is what escapes our insatiable desire to explain the unexplainable, that can only be explained by being what we are, rather than what we are not, so egotistic we all are, blind

    primal oneness urging, is what unity is across all false divisional absurd barriers of false separation segregation, such as rascism, sexism, religion, status, wealth, orientation, politic, power, all egos in the primal awareness, and tiresomely annoying at that, are they not?

    find what you look for in flawless graceful pure true oneness constant yearning desire of your own self first, in saying to your selves, “I am one feeling, and in so realizing this true my feelings reveal, so 2 are all you, are you not?”

    we all are

    you just would not know it though, of the child of human kind yet there suffering because of all untruth disconnect

    you should all feel ashamed, in morning for your own false lead astray of you + says Jesus

    bless you all


  353. ego is a viscous and sometimes cruel in ‘feeling’ issue to deal with, in not wanting another or others to feel left out of the vast comprehensive oneness truth of all untruth, unflawed, kingdom of heaven macro thinking/feeling halo perspective ONE of the eternal all you

    do you not realize others feel just as you too feel, in all your cold insensitivity with ONE another?

    so why be that false way so untrue?

    ya, intimacy of lovers does leave others out, but not really, as there were/are those who connect more profoundly than do others with us, and we them, in however one may arrive before God in the eternal day light awareness of the oneness of their divine self of another, more so than another, and well, sometimes we get lost as you say, but not really……..not really……..was not found in the first place……….or was i* ?

    the most profound of the kingdom of heaven halo is the oneness presence of Jesus who’s spirit of pure true vast wisdom comprehension of all truth of the untruth greets you in oneness as your own, 100% in feeling constantly discerning of all truth, at all times, everywhere is the truth, everywhere….say to yourselves….’i am’

    and we only get so many blessed days to greet one another, most of which we won’t ever meet, not even of our cities, do we ever met most of one another, and yet, the grace of us all is purely always right there within, especially of the calm Sundays i enjoy most, when you are all mostly of your pure true real divine self you sensitivity and sensibility.

    so where is Jesus, when everywhere is the truth?

    where am i* ?

    have these truths changed?


    so i am always of the eternal all past greeting the eternal all future, at all times, here in the presence of today, of the eternal all you, forever more, the truth none escape from, nor does one* truly want to, and rather they desire to escape all abusrd nonsense tiresome untruth, especially of all things unloving, ignorant, apathetic; evil

    so that one may live as truth of our divine flawless exceedingly graceful pure true healing feeling divine real self you, forever more, only love good enough to FEEL 2 BE YOU!

    as they all wander away on lover’s road……….argh………ah well, i greeted them in brotherly love nurturing and protecting my own self they unknowingly are, but did not take time to comprehend, the natural occurring urging distractions, no one to blame really, and well, time will reveal who is 2 BE my beloved, where already i know the truth ‘i am’, revealed, you are all my beloved hear in the eternal one* kingdom of heaven

    forever true………you


  354. i am frustrated with people who have a shortsighted image in their mind of who i am, having not really ever taken earnest desire time in getting to know me, god forbid in taking time to be of quality bonding with one another, which i so truly need in life right now, still not dealing well in my first year of being HIV+, a two year transition i am told, and well, that’s my shit life Gregory

  355. opppsss……..that was supposed to be an email to someone else……….ahahaahhaaaaaaa…… done the laundry yet Andyy, you take out the trash yet?

    edit edit edit

    fuck, i need real people friends, that much is obvious

    internet is just not healthy for our needs getting met, lesson learned

    i just want to run away and forget everyone, cause there is always this sense that life is better for them in real life, than it is here for me, and well, i guess i just answered my own question, get me out of hear!


    come on Miko, let’s run away forever!

    ya, we are……..lovers, in our oneness hearts

    just need to auction some art, and well, maybe he will find another, and maybe that’s ok too, as in order for oneness of 2, well, it takes 2 surrendered in the bridal chamber with God, not one, albeit ONE*



  356. i say just let go in holding out for those who may not be sincerely of pure true oneness earnest desire to be with you in the first place….sorted as you say

    although people grow in our oneness in coming back for more………did i tell you about the one who came running back to me two years later?

    ya, they all come running back, not sure what they were seeking in the first place, having not yet become a beloved lover of so many……….’i am’…………not with you……….(yet)



  357. ya ok, whatever Gregory, or is it Greghairyass the cluster fuck you?

    obviously it won’t be you… wtf, i reveal true insightful disertations and you cannot even take time to comprehend the direction i am already of the future about, no, no, don’t do that, that would be like truly coming to actually give a free fuck away in wanting to be with me, NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    fuck you Gregory, you are your own pity party self-centered, i don’t even fucking exist, worse enemy, casting yourself out of heaven with me, and for what, because i took fucking time in your miserable stuck fucked life to give you 100% constructive criticism in showing you the truth of what you keep avoiding?

    that no one enjoys your pity party?

    ok fine, one more off my list of wannabe fake ass, where is my Viagra lost you without ‘me’

    enjoy your jerk off pity party without ‘me’, you are not the one for ‘me’, too high and fucking anal retentive don’t know what a butt plug is mightier than silicone lube too expensive cheap ass no one fucking lost you!

    fuck you


  358. Obviously, mankind has global reached upwards in unity embracing of evolving collective agreements with business, church and state leadership safe passage migration out of our natural habitat, and all wretchedness false ego snarings of the forefathers that came into play of many snarings yet with us in out growing evolving greater depth of insight, as revealed along the retrospective learning generational open discussion macro thinking think tank awarenesses, as noted over the past millennial years, in continuation of man kinds eternal continuum that will continue as it has, for sake of ALL.

    Of these forefather wretched illnesses of heart, none greater have we seen than that of the most darkest of times seen in the devastationg world wars our forefathers delivered their children from unharmed, where what is obviously the greatest of words spoken by the, none other than, “Let us not ever return to again”….not sure who said it, and well who cares, it was a catharsis processing conclusion to ever step they walked in unity, meant for their beloved children to one day make light of….

    well, since then, prosperity is an off shoot unity that also came, merely of that of a generation that walked thru the darkest of times valley of death, in delivering us all into greater and greater on going oneness unity of peace, love and safe passage ensured for all, reaching across all the separational barriers of people of all languages, race, religion, status, wealth, orientation, sexism, politic, power

    however, with this we have seen the extent of yet another illness of heart egotism gross materialistic gambling addict investor tunnel vision insatiable desire out of control fire madness manifestation that is yet of the non-conducive valley of spiritual death learning and teaching perpetuation, retrospective, insightful evolving awareness yet again like we are doing, of the one and the same valley of spiritual death truths of all untruths revealing, as regards divine self wisdom, and the constant truth awareness of what are all untruth falsehoods that left unchecked, do plaque a society for generations, of what we now see with clarity, the extent of the ever increasing cycle pattern fallout that comes with each recession, where indeed, church, state, and business, all are of the same evolving unity oneness in setting the bar higher for our own beloved children and their children yet to come, of what we learned, just as our forefathers learned.

    Jesus was adamantly openly spiritually wisely against the businessman tunnel vision insatiable desire slavery of the masters of deception unwise leaders on thrones of nescience, for good reason, as regards just how tunnel vision of heartless dis-concern the investor fire desire really is, as Marx said, capitalism will consume it’s own body for sake of it’s insatiable desire fire perpetation more is better mentality true false continuum.

    well, Marx was vague in his shortsighted limited macro thinking, in not stipulating possible proactive preventive measures, in the state creation and use of our new laws today, rather than leaving leadership of the global economy to the whims of businessman trickery working within previous laws unchecked, as to what they were actually doing, now revealed.

    always, 100% leadership responsibility must remain in the hands of state, and not ever of the business world or religions factions, where great war is potentially of yet greater erupting clashing of the titans(read: China), should true heart felt compassionate concern not be embraced, as regards increasing prosperity of today and tomorrows generation, in establishing the guide posts, as simple as two words that state, business and church can all be 100% embracing what is the greater motivational empowerment already available to every single soul of the earth eternal unified oneness voice shouting……….?SYMBIOTIC HEALTH?

    outside the tunnel vision, it the prosperity potential of long term greater stability growth in prosperity in mental, emotional, physical, sexual, spiritual health well being, of what we actually constantly ALL are of, a symbiotic relationship of church, state, business leadership, and only when all sides come to the table in looking upon the future so easy to see, which is and always shall be merely ‘that’ of our growing insightful retrospective educational past.

    as Jesus says, Life is the greatest teacher

    and well, ‘that’ IS what the future Safe Passage ALL already 100%…….is

    thank you for listening

    bless you all with TRUTH awareness forever more LOVING WISE COMPASSIONATE ETERNAL ALL YOU!


  359. can you tell i flunked English……..twice?


  360. ha……and well, i always knew i would not be selected to work for the White House, writing speeches, so i decided, why not have them working for ‘me’?

    and well, the rest is history, of the historic future unfolding, into what i do know without doubt, is the kingdom of heaven found, albeit, most are utterly and completely asleep in ignorance, so much so, they do not know they are…….thank God for the state leadership of open minded classmate oneness equality embracing they have been thus far, and shall be, because now we of the LGBTQ greater compassionate oneness atonement, are taking over the thrones, finally, and well………thank you everyone!

    although i suppose that is for ego deaf ears too, considering the truth that we are all actually of the greater change end result subconscious catharsis processing oneness unity eternal connecting atonement of the exact same super computer million year old evolved human brain……….ha

    or more accurately i suppose, brainless

    anywayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………uhm……….i have nothing more to say…….in returning to lover’s road state of bless i pray one day to be found of, in the transgender lover ‘me’ of another who wants and constantly desires ‘me’ like i constantly do them…….cough……..MikO.O!

    ohh, i l♥ve y♥u ALL

    we are all the same……most just don’t know the truth (yet), thats all

    ok………peace out babes

    mama has to return to her fatherless children

    bless you all with holy joyful absolute carefree loving lover happiness YOU eternal unity forever moree


  361. my over active imagination of how i want to see my beloved lover that does not exist?

    and yet, i exist

    hmm….maybe i just have not met them yet….or maybe i did, but they did not recognize ‘me’

    bah… was the distractions they were of, nothing to do with ‘me’, albeit ‘me’ of the ever changing world of transgender acceptance seeking, and well, when everyone is gay, the world will be happy like i was, and we will all appear……….the same

    i am BE Cause……..we are


  362. Did you throw George the dog over the fence or just the newspaper ? Poor george

    Oh well happy valentine

  363. no, he threw himself over the fence, fuck, not even open minded enough to really read all i wrote, no, had to turn towards his self-pity hypocrisy heart interpretation blindness of exactly what i articulated, wow, people really are blind fools in their own suppressed way down in darkness shit for brains seeming inability to comprehend their own fucked up mentality spinning of wheels not realizing how disconnecting they actually seem to enjoy……ego

  364. and no….that was not egotistic of me to say that

    ‘that’ is my real self 100% connecting flawless feeling TRUTH awareness articulation ability that sees me get so frustrated in feeling how closed minded people tend to be, without seemingly any desire to humble themselves to me on their knees where they belong so i can…………ah, libido, sorry, it’s my libido that’s running the show…..hmmm……interesting


  365. well, what to say, one boyfriend is proud to be single on Valentine’s Day, like he says, wearing red t-shirt that i fucking paid for, fuck, i created a monster, breaking up on Valentine’s Day, way to go Arjay, thanks alot

    ah well, he was just a player towards me anyway, too preoccupied with his natural occurring homoerotic tendency with those his own age…..that i caught him with…..argh……thank God for his honest friends who told me about that night……

    anyway, it’s all good, no dead bodies, everyone survived, intact, in tact


  366. and well the other boyfriend was the one i really wanted in the first place all along, almost lost him in my own foolish fear of rejection of him, not having told Miko completely how i felt, and well interesting enough, the real me is the artist, who without words, showed him how i feel about him, ya, Miko is the muse, the others were friends of the artist who wander by, and well, Miko is happy as fuck now, in feeling who could be his most loving lover one day, where already i know……..without doubt………i am

    and well, life flows along like a river endlessly to the sea, just make sure you learn how to swim when you arrive in shark infested area, oh and those fucking leeches to, fuck they will bleed you out without effort, a natural survival instinct i suppose, and when you step out of the baptism waters of holy truth awareness awake, you will know, what constant flawless healing feeling truth IS………..YOU!

    by means of all untruth we feel, do we not?

    and is it not all truth, including truth of all annoying arrogant, give me back my red shirt biyatch, you don’t deserve to wear what you stole from God, untruth?

    argh…..players, users and takers, their own worse enemy actually, so arrogant, till the day they turn around and i am no longer there like i once cared

    ah well, they survived long enough to realize they actually do want to live happy, i just don’t care for the arrogance that comes back at me, like wtf?



  367. where my red T-shirt ?

    oh it’s ok i already have a red T-shirt, it has a print on it..


  368. ya, well…..’that’ is actually the Captain’s lesson a hustler learns the truth about their lover heart that i will upon them from the start, as an ex hustler friend already did long ago, where your pure true real divine self lover’s heart is constantly waiting for permission from our foolish survival falsehood masks pretend, to step aside and let the real music in our heart fully in…..

    ya, i know, i always connected with my own real self, and i know that is who the real friend of them was all along, of my own lover’s heart praying they would take time to notice me there too, and did not, well i mean you did, ya, and well i guess in the end my saying goodbye they will 2, and well, we got this far in truthful awareness of where their real lover heart yearned to be found, with the amazing beauty of another real lover tart they found looking for the lover true, i just dread being the one left out as the friend i always was in my cannot stay walking away, nothing left to say but appropriately so….fair well

    it’s not that i hate them, no, the opposite is true, am i not?……….forgotten?

    learning my role of being the captain of my own lover heart, as a true and faithful friend, is teaching the BEcoming beautiful blossoming pure true real divine self one how to BE Captain 2?

    and well i am still ‘that’ loyal friend till the end, cannot be any other way, and it is wonderful so see them shine radiant brilliant bright, even if it is mostly of where i wisely lead them to their destiny true path out of the false path they once were on……..with magical other waiting for them 2.

    oh, it’s all just beautiful, butt i 2 must be on my way again, lest i fall back to the old players of sin.

    ya, Captain of TRUTH, for my sake, for their sake, a classmate friend, of the greatest teacher of all, really is life…….especially of those times of no life foolish survival suppress uninvited to begin of my own once foolish ways no more, not ever again, im not a whore, and nor shall they ever BE.

    ya, Jesus really did love Mary, but not in ways most comprehend of only those who walked those paths alone, where Jesus found* the real them who easily recognized Jesus……as their own self 2.

    i guess that’s why Jesus says beware, of all foolish falsehoods, of the mad flood drowning snares, for sure, say i, understood.

    it’s nice to have them back from those paths, yes? 😉

    everyone’s going to be ok….where already they were, it was the mad flood evil treachery lurking fucked up world, is it not?

    fuckers! Get away from them with your evil shit for brains!

    this one is from Miko, that he posted yesterday

  369. keeping it real…..

  370. well now there is a twist, the two muses met and fell in love?


    i assure you, i had nothing to do with it……well ok, maybe i did…….lol

    as i step aside, and sashay sashay up to one with Glide… wait, i like the pjur best, that high tech silicone based premium one


    i pray sincere loving lover happiness for all

    bless you all with only love good enough to always feel 2 BE YOU forever more

    peace be to this house forever more

    your beloved brother Andrew from Heaven forever moreeeeeeeeee 😉

  371. no spoiling the kid, he’s still a child…

    don’t want any scars later one,,,

    Buona notte & Dio Benedice Xox

  372. goodbye to quad-daffy! hehe

    yes, asset freeze, that’s the power!….i wonder how many alias names this one uses…….bahhh

  373. scars? i will be dead later on, what scars? ha

    i am setting up scholarship trust funds…soon

    damn, this persistent fever just won’t go away…..bahhhhhh

  374. to all beloved YOU!

    being in love is the feeling of our loving self we all can feel anytime we want, merely by turning fully towards feeling what is of how we feel for anyone, especially for those of the needless suffering we see, because of all those who don’t turn towards feeling much of anything but their useless empty vessel egotisms that are not of God, and not of us who know the compassionate oneness difference that our feelings reveal…..the eternal TRUTH, always it is here in the future, of yesteryear unfortunately too.

  375. oh my God, your so hot

  376. Jesus didn’t die on the cross, he just went into a coma, they never pierced his heart, thats why he was spotted walking around three days later, he went & lived with the monks in the mountains and married Mary Magda
    had a few kid’s who bloodlines reach to this day, seriously its true found it written in the dead sea scrolls.

    well thats what Barbara say’s

    Jesus the Man, Barbara Thiering…

    im going to take this book called The day Jesus died back to the church, its so depressing to read, then i might hang out on a street corner, smoke a cigarette,

    after I wake up and have a coffee ..

  377. fuck don’t you just love that song Viva La Vita ,

    Coldplay rock …

    I played it ten times in a row last night , still couldn’t get enough playing it now..

    play.. pause … rewind, fast forward 🙂

  378. Scholarship’s Rock .,,,

    it’s like telling someone how much you love and believe in them ..

  379. well now isn’t that a coincident? 😉

    ya, because i do

    no different than me or you

    a better environmental for them to grow in than the mean lame ass bullshitter cruel user abusive destroying streets of so many youth.

  380. the only thing that lives on is our words, our thoughts, that we leave for others to become as i am ~ Jesus

  381. fast forward?

    as in get me the fuck out of here now kinda fast forward

    thanks Marco, that made me laugh

    fastforward………what is the point of fastforwarding anyway, as though one will feel different somewhere else in the eternal day? pffffffff

    as though my ass is going to ever feel any different than it always fucking has!


    the only thing that needs to die around here is all this untruth!


  382. we rose up strong, generation after generation, after the world wars, let us not leave any to suffer again behind walls of false oppression…….

    …..sad how it is a fool does not know how blind they are to their own ignorance, following along in the forefather taboo mad flood drowning deathful destructive oppressive suppressive mindless perpetuation of the empty vessel the fools don’…t know they indeed actually are, in all their shortsighted words that lead to nowhere but more death, destruction and oppression, where even after their own beloved gay child dies, they still don’t realize they were of the perpetuation hate of their entire life words spoken against us, as though they are wise of God, and not at all, just as they do not know me, nor shall they ever know me fully, until such a time of my choosing, which is not that often, i really am not found where all untruthful hate, ignorance and apathy exists, none of it of God’s omnipotence as is my own about all TRUTH!


  383. ♥ i ask a simple question, who does the sun’s energy belong to, if not equally to all of us, does it not?

    ♥ and does the sun’s warmth feel better to one more than another? no, that is an absurd thought

    ♥♥ we all feel the same, cause we are all the same

    ♥ so i ask, when we think of the tears we can wipe away of another to not ever feel the way we know so many feel, is it not of our our WILL to think, and do as i do, asks Jesus?

    ♥♥ and what happens when we do? uhm?

    ♥we feel the happiness loving harmonious oneness true

    ♥ that is who God’s child is, constant pure flowing love true

    ♥♥ forever more

    ♥♥♥ ‘me’and’you’


  384. I crossed paths with a little miracle last Sat night..

    she’s stunning

  385. a new home for the collection….clean, user friendly, PayPal links to purchase coming soon…that background of each webpage changes automatically to suit the image colors….love it!

  386. knowing how happy is thee,
    is knowing how happy is free,
    is knowing how happy is me,
    as knowing how happy is GLEE! :mrgreen:

    extraordinary ordinary ~ real

    Can’t Take My Eyes Off You – Lady Antebellum

  387. the kids are doing just fine 😉

    i love this raw angst!

  388. ahahahaahhaa……Troye, Justin, Miko, all love the Kazaky LOVE!

    kinda ‘hard’ not 2!

    Sooooooooooooo HOT!!!! :mrgreen:

    coming soon to a Madonna video nearrr you! YES!!/KazakyProject

    ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

  389. just keeps on keeping together, full circle around it comes again! love it!

    these guys are so going to kick all ya lame asses for a lonnnnnnnnggg time to come!


    Hello Bangkok!

  390. it is not about men….

    as much as it is about him*

  391. SoSomeone asked me the other day “How old are you ? ”

    I said “Old enough to know better !”

    Nah I didn’t but I felt like it….

    Feeling myself up…

    Ha ha

  392. huh?

    why would they moderate true words of a transgendered and not the bullies?

    well whatever, maybe i am abit crazy about God’s presence, that would seem lunatic to some, but in truth, there is something going on, that the higher subtle intellect is able to realize is more than just coincidence for me, and don’t even get me started on my real time intuitive astral projection clairvoyance ability that really blows my mind when that happens, documented so many times now, it is so obviously a true ability of the higher subtle intellect.

    surely there is a reason why the universe exists

  393. ah, there it is…..ok thanks

    you know, the whole business model of current times will slide into forgotten past eventually, when robotics and inexhaustible fuel supply(solar) energy bring prosperity to all as equals, doing away with the yet low self-esteem masters of manipulation deception monopoly game everyone today is mesmerized with in our global mind trap

    still, prosperity of today’s business world is what has brought us robotics, so it’s all of evolving use, meant to be, just not fun for those who get left behind out there, of little or no education, but even that is changing

    heaven is our true grace nature, where nothing is of greater value in life than the constant flow emotional honesty safety everyone is of intuitive core of their being, however submerged and afraid to trust one may be(come), under all the useless over achiever fever, oh hey, now they are working longer work weeks, way to go boneheads, just when you thought it could not get worse, your doctors will now tell you whatever stress induced life threatening illness you all sighed up for, stupidly.

    but hey, all is not lost, all of it serves the next generational statistic data

    im so bored

    i need a real world love affair

    hey, i read that people develop addictions as part of avoidance of whatever painful issue they may be of, past/present….all normal manifestation

    argh….im soooooooooooooooo bored!

  394. Being bored is not a really healthy state to be in, as it can lead to abnormal and destructive behaviour, maladaptive behaviours for example binge drinking, drug abuse extra-marital sexual relations and other temporal and superficial behaviours which are often the response or reaction to negative reinforcements as a child or adult.

    It is benifical to react to this destructive behaviour by assertaining the enviormental and other factors such a influence of significant other to identify the causes and factors that have contributed to this negative destructive behavioural patterns and set some clear identifiable and achievable goals which will impact on behaviour and correct the negative behaviours.

    Some suggested goals may entail sitting on a beach ( not pashing some old man half naked with a beer gut ) but rather doing something rewarding and creativly stimulating like making jewlery and deriving pleasure from creating something with a purpose for example you could sell the jewlery once a month at the local flea market and donate the proceeds of that to charity of your choice or makeing lovely inspiring works of stone with which again you could sell and donate the proceeds to your favorite local community be it, animal protection, GLBT & friends or people living with HIV or elderly & homeless meal’s & shelter programs..

    There are so many rewarding things we can do to occupy ourslelves in time of bordom where we can really help oursleves and others in NEED and really make ia difference in the world not just ot ourSELVES but to others less fortunate or more challenged and the REWARDS are GREAT.

    unless you meant you were bored because youve done all that and really need something more real and are tired of the same old same old and really need to meet or find your soulmate and really start to enjoy life and reap the rewards of all the hard work and effort you have put into life to acheive all that…

    well in that case i wish you all the best in finding your true desire, and if there is anything m,ore i can say or do to help you reach that goal desire or place in consciessness then let me know….

    I doubt i’ll be able to help you with that one…. 🙂

    cause you gotta do it YOURSELF



    im bored too obviously

  395. i wanna fuckkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!

    and get fuckeddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  396. and someone please tell me when are all of you anal retentive limp dick grey haired control freaker peakers going to fuck off and die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    you know, they don’t even realize how fucking stupid they sound, so disconnected from the pure loving spirit of their own children like they are with their gay lesbian bi and trans friends…….like what a bunch of fucking dim wits some yet are, completely clueless that their own kids despise them for their manifesting loud mouth ego maniac bullying so public like some are, and if they end up with a bullet in the fucked up brain, well then good fuking riddance, argh, so gross and disgusting, won’t even try to take better care of themselves, like the 10km a day biking i do!

    you know, i still have a perfect ass after all these years!

    and i know how so many of you wanna fuck it!!!!!!!!!

  397. don’t always want to make the same mistake….im still running…

  398. question is do we act and behave in a way so as to not make the same mistake, thus transferring our fears unwarranted onto someone else Instead of really going into ourself and understanding why we made the mistake in the first place and learning and growing from that experience, so we can turn the original mistake into a learning and growing opportunity.

    Or do we play the victim and say I’ll never make that mistake again no one is going to hurt me ever again ? Because if we do we have not truly learned from the experience where the mistake occurred for a reason and instead of growing we set about avoiding a particular situation for fear of making a mistake and we end up hurting someone else who may be an innocent party through lack of trust or belief in that person or situation.

    Go back the time when the pain and bad choices occurred ? Why did I do this why did I put myself in this situation what must I learn from it,

    And if I have truly leaned from it then I know I do not fear taking a risk for fear of making the same mistake again because I know within myself I have learned and grown from the original mistake so I do not have to relive the experience again it is not nessasary for me to repeat it.

    If you know what I mean…

  399. Let me give you a hypothetical example..

    We may be a very generous person until somebody takes total advantage of that kind nature & and we get hurt … Really hurt because our intention was to help someone but instead of appreciating our kindness they take advantage of us, so we close up in order to protect ourself so next time we are not so giving instead we over compensate and go to the other extreme for fear of being hurt again where we might pass a homeless man in the street begging for water because he is dehydrated and about to choke to death but we close up for fear of being robbed or whatever so we ignore this persons plea’s for water and watch him choke to death instead…

    Or take the doors down to prove a point rather then looking deeper into why this is happening behind closed doors, simply removing the doors is not the cure, but understanding why the doors are a barrier is the real opportunity. …

    Ok well I feel better now that I have written these words they reinforce in myself the message in the words I am writing …

    Writing is such a great way to understand to experience and to learn, I enjoy writing is my fav hobby…

    God bless…

    And for fucks sake shut the door , it’s raining men outside

  400. Money cannot buy love….

    Sure it help’s pay the electricity bill

    Oil sorry for all that !

    I think I was disconnected

    But hey 😉

    Whats the point if turning on the switch

    It ain’t gonna light

    If there’s no power

  401. I feel like a wild tiger

    That cannot be tamed

    But the light

    Is a good place to


  402. & what can I do to repay you ?

    Please don’t ask me to prostitute mySELF

    I’ve been hurt. & abused enough already


    So how did I do. ?

    Played that victim role better than

    MR number ONE victim



    Get off ya CROSS

  403. Anyway I’m a gouger I like to roam in the dark,

    I’m nocturnal just like that wild tiger



  404. live in the now…

    and as of right now, no one is fucking me, and i am completely done with waiting on my unrealistic expectations of the wannabes!

    i don’t think people intentionally set out to hurt anyone, it is more they are distracted by their own self and/or another, or perhaps circumstances simply are so fucking far removing of any fucking chance of fucking, you may as well give in to your own natural testosterone drive tendency to fuck and just be like everyone else is….

    and if one day they turn around and realize someone actually did give a fuck about loving them, but too self-absorbed in their own ego shit fluffing of feathers with every other cock out there, of inadvertently leaving you feel abandoned ALL THE FUCKING TIME! in hurting you…..well, truth is the truth, they likely were not attracted to you enough

    when we love someone, we just do, and always the sweet anticipation is there in feeling of seeing them time and time again…….OR IT’S NOT… is my denial case of many i foolishly entertained as possible…..oh, and don’t forget to throw into the mix some unrealistic expectation of stigmatization HIV+ while you are at it, for sure, any fucking lingering optimism you may have you can kiss goodbye in getting your sorry ass out of denial and just go have fun with someone else, anyone else, like why not start with someone who can actually hold your motherfucking hand, that’s a good place to start in getting our needs met, and make sure you give them an opportunity to say in your asking their feelings about you, that are none existent, which you already fucking knew, just too fucking obsessed to break your shit for brains cycle pattern denial get over it already, they did!

    ah well, im glad im not stuck any more, trash it all, just walk away, nothing more to say except ciao

  405. stigmatization is worse for us than the disease is

    i remember when i first came into awareness of how everyone was around those who were still feeling comfortable enough in dignity, in their usual public circle hangouts of friends and acquaintances, seemingly oblivious to just how far along their symptoms of dementia had become for them, frail thin, hair lost, realizing the fear in their eyes as oneness of my own, just coming out to the world that first year long ago.

    i feel the same about my HIV status as i do my sexual orientation, in not caring what anyone thinks, or rather, i would like to know what you think than not, so i just put it out there what my status is, just talk about it, and in time, i can realize who is appropriate for me and who is disabled, where i can assure everyone of the pos community that meet me, in seeing i am far from the disability than is that of so many whispering all you, as if we don’t know how it feels when people are when around us, for those yet still around us.

    i look at it in a greater light like i always felt, of how thankful a pos person is for you to see past their illness, the greater oneness that i always enjoyed walking in, of most of my lovers who were pos, like the one i still am best friends with. pos since we met, married like we were for 16 years, still together, if anyone is equipped to deal with the disabled all you, i am

  406. the light of corporations who come into these low wage countries and take advantage of a generational poor government(corruption) on going systemic worldwide problem, has to stop, and it is the power of the people with telecommunications that was always able to bring change, so what are the artist’s doing?………oh yeah, i forgot, it is manufactured product now, no longer the connection on serious life issues any more……

  407. the real question is what do you empower in another that is not tethered to the status quo business machine?

    well, ironically, those of great wealth are the most free of the status quo obviousness they see in how the world is controlled by a business machine

    what is true happiness of anyone in this survival world?

    prosperity is a trickery lie, considering the true wealth of the resources of some countries…..where does it all go?

  408. well, some excellent points on emotional honesty seeking…..

    i think of life in terms of linear flow stream of conscious subtle higher (intellect) feeling awareness surfacing/submerging of our graceful real original self emotional honesty connecting oneness that is more than just our life, it is the entire human history past meets future thru us, of how the world was left the way it was when we entered, how we leave the world for others, blah blah blah

    and well, to be the greatest beacon for me, would simply to just be the happiest one can genuinely, authentically, sincerely, emotionally BE our constant just under the surface pure true real divine graceful feeling child of God’s self YOU!

    at all times…..

    which does require adjustment of boundaries, which most haphazardly automatically do in their haphazard no helmsperson catharsis process, unless you are someone like Madonna, who is exceedingly well read, especially of her own self, yes?

    we only get so many days of life, and then it is over, often too late before it even ever really began for many….

    i always ask, what is it of God’s will for me to learn from every one i ever met, as i slowly came into realization of my own tangible pure true inner connectedness in awareness of the eternal love bond between Jesus and Mary, which surpasses any words they ever spoke, which may have been astral projection visitation, call it whatever you want, i never believed in anyone in this world more than i always wanted to believe in who Jesus was, maybe out of escapeism imagination of my inner child living such a treacherous brutal survival life, don’t we all?

    people plod along, and before you know it, your life is over….my God, i really had a strong dose of reality check of my mortal life when the cat died, that’s what really hit me, maybe the HIV first year made me really feel the depth of how we are just passing thru this realm as visitors for such a short time, by the time you learn you are an wise angel sent by God, you are then told, time is up, is your mission complete yet? too bad, your time is over, leave it for someone else to finish….the proteges


    ya, it is of God that i am here in this moment, of what is the oneness seeking of the eternal all harmonious truth, no matter how aimlessly clueless anyone may be, the divine child of God is of eternal all YOU!

    truly, the greatest mission of all, is as simple as holding hands, the beacon of oneness harmonious true grace mirroring nature of the eternal all you, and how beautiful it is to be ‘that’, of how reluctant so many appear to be their true nature….the businessman status quo machine lie

    the stress is killing them by the millions

    true abundant overflowing constant prosperity is found in nature as it just is, the consistency of the sun’s energy in vegetation growth for the creatures sustained by it for example, where that makes us all look as the lunatics we all are, does it not?

    so much generational taught useless absurd false egotism discord….tiresome at best

    so the answer to self of another is to turn fully towards our own self true nature harmonious oneness of not just understanding, and rather BEing the pure true spiritual BEing sent forth into the mad flood by God

  409. corporations need to embrace prosperity that comes when realistic wages are paid out, as part of the business model for a healthy economy that can sustain a joyful existence of all life, when everyone is on board with what is proper law abiding citizens, no matter the country, the business model works exactly the same, that ensures a steady growth continuity of ever increasing reaching to all a healthier fun equality life…

    there is always going to be the immature pockets of resistance, similar, and we all know how that story ends with lower morale resulting in lower productivity, lower public relations, higher turn over of costly retraining of new staff….

    the greater picture of increased wages, sees all businesses prosper upward together, where all businesses are linked to one another in the same economic environment they all share, of greater amounts of money being spent, by greater numbers of people coming into the fold from the farm lands, just as we have already witnessed, up it goes when a healthy realistic symbiotic relationship of corporate meets society is embraced….

    long term thinking spread sheets easily sees exactly where an economy can arrive at in greater prosperity of a healthier happier spending society, but only when we take time to look at the difference between ignorance vs wise….

    people seek to work with enthusiasm for a company, based on both economic and professional environment, as well as potential upward mobility, where we are seeing huge differences, of nearly double the wage, between China and Indonesia, for the exact same I.T. job, that may make Indonesia attractive to investors right now, but not necessarily, in view of an unhealthy economy for Indonesia, because of the same get rich quick and get out short term investment thinking ignorance that does not see what 240 million people economy could and WILL look like for the wise more powerful and richer corporations on the move in development of infrastructure in Indonesia.

    finally we are seeing power of the people in Indonesia standing up for themselves….

    Minimum Wage for the DKI Jakarta Province will rise next year after the employers unions and association agree on the increase to Rp 1.29 million or USD 130 per month. Companies that have problem meeting this new minimum wage are advised to request a deferment to the Department of Manpower and Transmigration, Jakarta.

    Head of DKI Manpower and Transmigration Deded Sukendar say, business associations and trade unions in Jakarta has socialized the new Governors Regulation Number 196 Year 2010 about the 2011 Minimum Wage and have agreed on minimum wage increase of 15.38 percent compare to Minimum Wage 2010.

    Workers took it to the street for Better wages

    “The new Minimum Wage 2011 has been agreed by both parties. We will support them all. For companies that have not been able to pay the new salary, please apply for deferment at the Manpower Office,” said Deded in Central Jakarta on Monday (6/12/2010).

    Deded added, company requesting deferment may file a letter of suspension as well as meeting eight requirements specified I the regulation. The main requirement is already hold bipartite negotiations between employers and unions. Another requirement is the company has suffered losses for two consecutive years.

    If the company does not meet these conditions but refuse to comply with the new regulation, the company will be subject to sanctions as stipulated in Law No. 13 of 2003 on Employment which carries 1 to 4 years imprisonment and a fine of USD 10 thousand to 40 thousand.

  410. same as all the rest just want a fuck…

    Is there anyone left in the world that is slightly old fashioned and romantic, able to remember the childlike innocence of falling in love for the first time…. Making love not waves …

    Oh back to the drawing board ….

    I guess it’s easier to cum & go

  411. Alright then let’s just fuck on the sidewalk … Down some alley way..

    Get it over & done with…

    No time for cuddles

  412. Oh I just realized how cold it is in Canada 🙂

    What if my cock freezes up & snaps off before I get a condom on..

    Oh well there’s always yours… Not…. Fucking painful ouch I don’t take cock

  413. Oh well well I’ll just go suck my bf cock,

    Oh I forgot I DON’T HAVE ONE

    I’m not as fortunate as you…

    I haven’t had one for over 4 YEARS…


    Oh forget it , go back to you bf cock…

    I’lll go buy a goat

  414. hmmm……nice rant……

    ok ok, fuck!…..revisiting this shit is not pleasant at all, for anyone, but we all need to come fully into loving our vulnerable self as the most beautiful quality of our self….and well, that means facing all the fears of the vulnerable pure true constant FEELING REAL YOU!

    fear of rejection….

    not sure when it started, early teen years, i think it goes back alot further than that, because i remember how timid afraid i was in public school, with my body image complex, not sure why, it was always my ass as the main focus of my body image complex, what is that?……maybe my babysitter did alot more to me than i remember……i was three…..don’t remember it… he was not violent, or maybe i supressed it?……but i remember mom freaking out so badly, i almost died that day, as she threw me in the car, after my telling her what he did, her raging away, my trying to close this big heavy door of an old chev impala, a soft pale yellow, her spinning the car tires out of the gravel drive way, my door not yet closed, still holding onto the door handle, as it swung wide open from her backing up, me flying out of the car, and then….gasp…..UNDER THE CAR…..the tire stopping inches from me looking up at it……thanks mom!….you almost killed me that day, not the babysitter, YOU!!!

    and what about my fixation with my ass all the time in my youth?

    is that normal?

    i mean i enjoyed it…..alot!

    you name it, i was doing it….

    i think it is normal, a biological natural normal pleasure response to stimuli, functional reasons yes?

    hey, did you know they found gay birds now?

    well maybe the birds are not smart enough to know the difference?

    god knows the penis does not know the difference, stimuli is stimuli….

    fear of rejection and abandonment…..can and does manifest itself in the form of projection identification transference testing, as we subconsciously recreate the stage of rejection and abandonment……oh my God, i have so many past issues of abandonment and rejection, and now i see it clearly in my own fucked-upness manifestations…..

    and why?

    hmmmm…..i guess a part of me wants to validate my own self in what my own unvoiced response to rejection and abandonment i did not process thru sufficient enough to not have a need to revisit why my parents abandoned me at age 15……fending for myself, on my own, working a part time job, barely able to pay rent in a boarding house full of drug addicts and alcoholics, felt normal to me, my own father they all were like…..putting myself thru high school, then the drinking and drugs started, well, it was always around me, so not much wonder there, always felt so insecure, after being stripped of the security i always felt prior to that since birth, just did not ever think it was something i would not have some day….

    and why?

    well dad’s father abandoned him too, and well, don’t even start on how his mother was so abusive with him…..yikes… was alot more messed up than i ever got….well, at least that’s what i tell myself…..

    today i am a brother who has two trans brothers under my wings, both on scholarships, one in University, the other in College, so it’s not all bad manifestations of my past, feels good to sense the joy they are now, so thankful, seemingly an impossible dream come true for them…..

    it is the consistency that matters most, steady consistent, no fear, no threat, i guess what i always wanted restored in my own feeling, i am ‘that’?

    ‘i am’ what i always wanted to feel?

    ‘i am’ what i always wanted to be, as i always felt i was before like came along and shoved my head in a toilet and left me there in my own shit to deal with cleaning up?


    not to worry, i will be dancing when i exit this shit of a fuckedup world!

    and so too the proteges….as ‘i am’…..transfered, transformed, oh shit, did i delete my facebook account……again…..fuck, i need to stop doing that!

    i am diabetic, and i get these hypoglycemic anxiety moments from low blood sugar, that does have an altering of our mood and behavior, but i am paying closer attention to when that happens, and well, pretty much any who know me, know when i do, as i become exceedingly agitated by anything, and then the old shit comes up, and i get all pissed off over nothing, well, i mean it’s all something, maybe unresolved, yes?….and well i work thru all that too….eventually… know, no one is bad, all the manifestation shit? It’s just unbridled revisiting shit, that’s all, left unchecked, ok, not a good thing, always need to resolve, closure, go fucking shoot someone, or wait, no, shoot your own fucked up self, ya, that’s the right thing to do, if ever you think any social privilege abuse of any form is ok…….it’s not…’s YOU and your fucked up shit we all have to take ownership responsibility for!

    i mean look what happened to me now…..HIV+……

    what a fuck up that is….all because of my own lacking self-respect fuckedup shit!

    yep!…..all of it

  415. hmmm……i obviously came thru the seventies with all this friggin color going on, yes?

    only difference is it is high heal shoes, instead of platform shoes, oh wait, those are platform shoes too………

    what came first, the chicken or the egg?

    does not the chicken have to cum first with the egg? uhm?

    yo chicken, tell me, do you cum first before he cums when he is fucking you, or does he come before you?

    oh fuck that, he damn well better fucking wait for me to cum first or he ain’t ever getting this ass to fuck when ever he wants again!!!!! pfffffffffff…….are you for real?…….i don’t think so biyatch!

    ahahhahaaaaaaHA! 😉

    gay youth absolutely love love love these sacred stones!

    ~ gay youth for gay youth ~

    is what ‘i am’ inside, same as i ever was, just not so closeted, and they appreciate seeing their older self, same as i never was….straight

    no seriously, my dick has like this curve in it…..did you know they have treatment for that? yep!

  416. omg….i just noticed that is an old 45 record that i painted……….i one hit wonder? maybe….

    i really loved records in my youth, such a fun part of the day, to either listen to music, or play guitar, sing, or when alone? the usual homoerotic masturbation sessions, so intense, so amazing, soooo……well, beautiful self-love of my own body

    you know, i don’t think anyone is having sex with others, i think we are all having sex with our own self when we like to think we are having sex with someone else, but have you noticed, and women know this well, how they are oblivious to your increasing arousal towards climax, as in, you better not fucking stop now, i will kill you if you do, as they are more interested in their own fucking dick fucking you?

    uhm? what?

    i can’t hear you…..ohhh, so you agree, it’s true, isn’t it!

    ok, so everyone is having a masterbation session, not having sex with someone, yes?

    well……that’s ok, i am 2!!!!

    ahahahaaaa HA!!!!! 😉

  417. and no, it’s not just me who does this, you all do!

    and sooooo the question is, seeing as all of you do this, haha, chuckle chuckle, then that means you are all homoerotic self-love, as the same masterbating me i ever was, i never was………straight

    and neither are any of you!

    i think the real problem is you care more about your own orgasm, than you do your girlfriends, and i do know this well too, as a girl, and that she is brow beating you all daily as a result of this, and that is why you fucking anal retentive biyatches come and think you can bully on me, or any of my way the fuck more beautiful gay trans brothers and sisters, than you ever was, never was…… to get with ‘me’……….BIYATCHES!!!!!!!!

    ahahhahahhaa HAHA!!!!! HAA!!!!!!

    you know, i think i figured out a plausible function of why the balls hang outside the body, besides temperature control…..that the balls actually strick against the clitoris during sex, when of the usual found in nature mounting from behind sex position, that does lend to this theory of why the clitoris is also located in the exact right place…..and not just so the female can reach it with her hand, no, it is of millions of years of evolution flawlessness that ensures female orgasm spasm suction of the sperm up thru the cervix, why you are all here today…

    hmmm…i bet those girls who teased me about not knowing what the word orgasm meant as a teen would have the last laugh today, yes?


    as i say, well, at the time, i did not know you had a dick to have an orgasm with, butt now i do know, you really don’t have a dick at all, barely even an imaginary one, of you having to imagine you do have one, like the one you always wanted of me, butt you can’t have it, because YOU DON’T HAVE ONE!!!!

    ahahahahHA!!! :mrgreen:

    ok, i admit, i would just as much enjoy a female as the female i am, butt they sure as fuck have to be verstatile oneness ‘i am’ of both sexes, or go back to their boring lame ass lover more interested in their own dick than they are!


    oh god….enough for today…..

  418. i am celibate…….and suicidal……….hmmm…..imagine that, those two words in the same sentence………..same as the Catholic church, is it not?

    those fucking drama queens, i will kick them out of this world once and for ALL!

    i already have, they just don’t know it yet

  419. you see, i know i am 100% death and life

    because i am 100% the truth

    and God is 100% truth

    and they are not

    far from it actually……..they think about it, without internalizing who they actually are purely and truly 100% like i do, like ‘i am’

    they use fear as the manifestation of the fear they are within, as a tool they learned of instilling fear in others to control them, still the same as they always were since their formation as mere merchant’s of God drama queens, and not the real queen, the real king, who’s throne is not separate at all, no, in fact, it is comprehension knowing and being the bond of love between that IS the light of pure truth that lights up the world in holy joyful absolute carefree oneness happiness which no one can take away from another, no, you are born with the harmonious oneness feeling bonding between eternal all YOU!

    it is the fools who don’t know

    it is the fools who come to separate

    ‘me’?….im just bored out of my mind with all of you, and just want to go home and be happy, and already……’i am’ home

  420. on the crack ?

  421. Well it’s great that you acknowledge that, we all have fear of rejection, but most people are spiritually aware of who they are and are less connected and I guess less likely to fear rejection because they may not be as sensitive and real… The more sincere & real a person is the more vulnerable they expose themselves to being hurt it’s a catch 22 love that number ….

    As for the HIV well aside from the obvious ie taking good care of ones health and lifestyle, also consider how powerful the body is and how with the right MIND that challenge can also be tackled without loosing any quality of life, MInd over body the body has an amazing ability to heal itself and it might take a little miracle but it is well within the realms of possibility that through the right mindset one can totally cure themselves of the HIV totally…. I know one particular case where through hypnotherapy a person was able to eradicate the virus totally and it was non detectable ( without any Antiretroviral drugs ) & still is undetectable 11 years later…

  422. we can learn to control out thoughts which are connected with our feelings….

    ya, i too am without using retroviral drugs(so far), where i realize my body does recognize the virus and is doing something to combat it, i just have to focus on how delicate the body is to things like lack of sleep and proper diet, exercise, where i can feel the difference in my CD4 count lowering as a result of improper balance, of the onset of earlier opportunistic infections that show up, such as thrush of the mouth, something most people with a healthy immune system do not get, provided they are in good health, as the body naturally combats it…..thrush can be seen as white patches, as an infection of the mouth caused by the candida fungus, also known as yeast. Candida infection is not limited to the mouth; it can occur in other parts of the body as well, causing diaper rash in infants or vaginal yeast infections in women.

    the body is extraordinary ability, yes, beyond our limited scope thus far, although alot of understanding is available to assist anyone who wants to address proper balance for optimum vitality health results, where the key is they have to come clear of victim mentality emotional stuckness, in taking hold of a new approach to their life, reaping the rewards of vitality feeling when they do….and well, forming a new habit is the same as breaking a bad habit, it takes time to internalize awareness processing of the improved vitality that can only come when addressing proper balance….

    for me, this is a self-love respecting esteem issue, where it feels good to pamper one’s self, and stop expecting that anyone can do it for us, although getting our needs met with someone loving is good for us, mostly of the oneness surrendering to our true grace harmoniousness as is of the celled body, that frees the body of anxiety stress that is a real issue most don’t realize is a constantly with a person’s body, affected by environment and healthy balance of RED(rest, exercise, diet).

    mind over matter indeed….

    i have witnessed how reckless some people are once infected, especially true of those who already had reckless issues of substance abuse prior to infection, where it is highly likely they can see this way of coping increase for them, because of the physical and emotionally linked fall out that comes with the onslaught of HIV infection, particularly during the fires few months….

    at the same time, then can also feel just how impactful substance abuse is on their body, more so than before, because their state is weaker, and the body responds in a more drastic noticeable way when one does, where relapse fallout sickness can serve them as a reminder of their condition, and a reminder of why not to do that any more, where relapse is something to serve them as a good thing, without feeling guilty as before, and rather just foolishly immature of their behavior, which they can learn to say, “NO!”

    or continue to suffer the consequence long enough that they need to get to a point of feeling sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, which is difference for anyone learning healthy moderation control in their learned behavior of substance abuse….

    and as for those who are more towards moderate to severe substance abuse, well, they can expect to die sooner rather than later, which in itself is an interesting study of victim mentality unresolved past issues meets compounded present issues of a future outcome where left unchecked, the cycle pattern usually continues, with the potential for greater increase of frequency and severity progression, a dynamic of victim mentality habit of the unresolved emotional issues that mimic between the current physical emotional fallout in likeness of intensity of the past unresolved issues they seek resolution of subconsciously, until a hot looking sexy life coach comes along and says, “Hey, why not follow me, come on, i will show you what you need to learn!” 😉


  423. crack?

    maybe a mild porn addiction, but no to drugs and alcohol, other than the smoking substitute gum still…..

    in my youth, i loved my vitality feeling of body and spirit, and my ever present body image complex, my God, i was afraid to walk thru the hallways of school all the time, and still that feeling is with me some days, always feeling people are looking at my ass, well, since i come out, i hope they are looking at my ass! ha

    it would stand to reason, that seeing as i was reckless in my adult life with regards to developing a healthy appreciation for vitality life living free of substance abuse, that HIV is a positive for me, as in how it forces me to face my substance abuse issues, and look purely at the body vitality maintenance adjusting i am going thru, amazing how eating habits can keep a hold on us, and well, it is an opportunity for me to finally find the original vitality i still am able to be, 100%, you can, merely by the WILL to want to BE who you always were, flawlessly beautiful in feeling, especially the sex, wow, i still love my sex exactly as i always did since puberty!

    ya, vulnerable, i am this year

    we all are

    vulnerable to good, or lack thereof, equal to bad

    my philanthropy self believes goodness equality deeds alter the spirit of many today, growing more and more in how the spirit of the world of all connected tomorrow.

    Jesus says, what you turn towards you become, therefore, what we turn towards today, the future becomes what that is, goodness, or apathic insatiable desire fire greed junk collecting…..

    what? everyone is horders, it’s true!

    where your heart is there too shall be your treasure and your life, therefore where our heart is, there too shall be our future treasure and our future life, where all one needs to question, is WILL the future be loving wise compassionate equality happiness feelings thriving in abundant overflowing (treasure) from within, our knowing love is more valuable than all the riches of the world, or WILL the future continue to be the way it yet is for so many, as a result of the empty gold vessels so many are?

    if what i come to know to be true is also true of another, then when i say, i always just wanted to feel loved and to love someone and others, as what is my treasure found within, then so too it is true of all, the oneness equality seeking emotional honest safety

    [a loud noise of a massive door unlocking sounds, as the rushing of air thru it’s opening releasing vacuum hisses, and bright light twinkling radiantly outward to all shines forth, as the massive treasure is made revealed for all to see and feel the truth, that the pearls Jesus spoke of, really was merely ‘that’ of the loving oneness feelings of the uniting eternal all YOU! 😉

    i don’t about you, but i cannot take it with me, and i have no use for more junk than i already have too much of, so all my wealth of each step is going to our brothers and sisters who can make better use of it than i can, in becoming the wise future equality leaders of their brotherhood after i am gone, where what we instill in another, is who they become as we once were, as easy as is the WILL 2 LOVE!


  424. Defiantly no alcohol, it depletes the body of essential nutrients puts extra strain on the liver & kidneys… Lots of water & or green tea and St Johns wort is the perfect supplement for you and also Olive leaf extract ( takes a few months to kick in) but is the most effective at letting the upper hand and eventually combatting any virus…

    Yes then there are the other natural maybe a bit wacky but worth some research into… Like colloidal silver but go easy it might make your face turn blue if you overdose….

    No Poppers…

    And find a good Reki healer as they can help restore balance through this healing technique at times of high stress as no one can escape the day to day pressures that sometimes catches us by surprise, & lots of sex, with the right person of course but not to obsessive as it can be a distraction and have the opposite effect I’ll do a meditation for you tonight and ask the universe to send you support and guidance through this period of uncertainty to help reinforce to YOU that YOU can truly Heal yourself…

    Did I mention No Alcohol ? That’s the most important thing to remember if you must have a glass of wine then follow up with a glass of water

  425. alcohol is clearly bad for my CD4 count, it always drops it lower, something i learned from experimenting this past year, so now i am convinced not to do that, and well, i don’t like how i alcohol affect my mental ability with excessive amounts of alcohol, it really does impair your macro thinking ability….so ya, im just not interested in feeling that way any more, of a improved greater appreciation for sober vitality health living approach, for sure, alcohol is off the list, and so too my choice of friends on this, i just don’t enjoy the way people get when drinking, while they may appear happy, it is a false stimulated hyped version of themselves, not something i was ever able to trust about another, now in my 18th year of my recovery program, where even moderation is no longer something i am willing to trust of my own self, it really is a useless waste of precious time for me now…..

    well, ya, healing one’s own self, is possible, but environmental is going to play havoc, where while this may sound like paranoid stings thinking, the reality of life is that we are no longer of our natural habitat existence, of our needs for survival replaced by a mind fucking status quo compensating bunch of bullying anal retentive fucktards with dicks alot more useless for me than i care to tell most people, as i graceful step aside and let them keep on walking in their own seemingly insatiable desire ego maniac path that is annoying for me, seeking solace with someone of authentic genuine sincere respecting emotional honest safety oneness, as though a game i was left to feel abandoned by no one who was purely truly spiritually there in the first place of my thinking they were thinking of me, and so obviously don’t……argh… more denial….im so done with being interested in anyone not interested in ‘me’…of only myself to blame for wasting my own time with them, fuck that, i want away from that total waste of what life i have left….boundary is set, the less i am around them the better i feel, in letting go of imagination fantasy made clear to me, after being left alone far far too long now…..fuck that!

    it really is my own fault, no one to blame but me

    you know, we allow ourselves near people who are not appropriate at all for us, of the processing time needed to stop with denial, that just runs its course however long it takes, for us to wake the fuck up to the truth, they would rather be fucking someone else, if not already, by how you wait on them time and time again, for their lame ass lackluster zeal when they eventually do show up, as you think to yourself, i am so fucking over this person’s empty arrogance nothingness that saw my imagination compensating and looking for intellectual understanding, to cover the truth…..THEY ARE FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE< THEY DON'T LOVE YOU LIKE YOU HOPED THEY DID AS YOU OF THEM<MOVE ON ALREADY< THEY DID!

    ok, thank you for the precious advice

  426. I’ve did a word search on this blog & you’ve said HIV 20,345 times & I 12 5000 times & you go on about the victim mentality.. You self absorbed bitter & twisted old queen.. Happy Fucking new year to you I hope Madonna ties you to a cross & pours petrol all over you and sets you alight in her next music video.. That will raise you body temp & I just feel sorry for the poor HIV virus, which picked the wrong hoast ..

  427. ha

    i suppose at some point hiv strikes close to home for all of us, either of our own self or beloved one(s)

    hiv awareness is relevant to all

    victim mentality is created by society, also relevant to all

    if we don’t talk about it a healthy approach to hiv, then what shall we do, let the mad flood drowning victim mentality created by society continue just as it is?

    mock, ridicule, cajole, entice, all useless waste of time, what was your point again?

    oh right, irrelevance that stems from irreverence, does it not?

    is not the 16.6 million orphans of parents who are now gone relevant to hiv?

    is not a proactive hiv education about victim mentality relevant to everyone?

    or would you rather we simple stop talking about the ongoing creation of hiv victim mentality, that continues to also manifest itself in self-destructive behavioral such as unsafe sex, which is assisting hiv to continue its expanding further into the eternal unfolding future?

    i think hiv some how has come to realize it is able to continue to exist without need for further evolving from its seemingly knowing ability to keep spreading, which means while hiv may not know terms like victim mentality manifestion behavioral, it certainly knows happily that it is as though seemingly a welcome guest by it’s lame moron that does not know it exists, or may as well not know it exists, considering our current approach?

    i think hiv is well aware of it’s effect on it’s host, as relates to it’s ability to move from host to host, although i suppose in most of human history we had no idea whatsoever we were a host to hiv virus, where maybe as flesh eaters, the virus is able to move from open wounds to open wounds from survival of the fittest combat, and what about the manifestation of increased libido that comes with hiv infection?

    while the virus may not know or be deliverate in its approach, as though it is, instead the virus likely just feels it is a welcome guest in it’s feeble minded host that does not know it exists, or may as well not know, all things considered

    well, clearly it is a million year old stale mate between the hiv virus and it’s host, otherwise one of either would no longer exist, and therein lies the achilles heel of hiv that thinks it’s host does not know it exists, in feeling hiv and it’s host is 50/50 balanced = 1 like it has felt for some time.

    so, the question is, how do we change and maintain the balance ever so slightly from 50/50 = 100% victorious symbiotic relationship(home) for the hiv virus, to 49.9/50 = .99% victorious home for hiv virus, which does not see the hiv virus take over the human race?

    well, our brain already does that just fine with humans in our natural (true) habitat state of existence, with no modern day external requirements, albeit any approach to increasing life enjoyment and expectancy is always welcome by beloved.

    the real problem is external, not within the body that our brain has already determined it’s approach.

    so externally is where we find the solution as assistants to our already resolved expert brain, in so easily helping it maintain the .01% of victorious balance.

    where people die, is when the balance is lost for an extended period of non recoverable time, beyond the bodies ability, of however long that time is, in our establishing what is the ideal maintaining of balance over the virus, as relates to our variable life style changes and whatever other are all the variants combined together, based on all identifiable impairments, such as smoking.

    the same goes for all opportunistic infections and the number of combined infections the body is able to maintain a winning stance with, in determining how much we want to shift the balance with hiv.

    i mean ya, we do that already now, but how much of these available meds do patients need at time needed or not needed, for say someone like me who wants to donate my meds to another who cannot afford them(secretly of course, as mine are paid for by government), where i can use RED40 to maintain balance.

    hmmmm….seeing as RED40 does work, then why as some point does it stop working

    again, what is actually happening externally to athletes who die from hiv related illness, or is it just genetic illness, or beyond our control illness, or age related illness, or complacency externally.

    well, in truth, it is all of these things, including victim mentality, or how about they just surrender to death in defeatism fallout into death, including all who do it suddenly by choice thru suicide, sadly i knew a few of them too.

    ok, well, say whatever you want, but we are all in this together, eternally, not just this moment in time of the eternal one generation of eternal all you.

    there is a point of no return threshold, past our bodies natural ability, and it is the external variables that sees one move past this threshold time and again, in and out of external help with hospitalization, all those near death close calls we go thru.

    so what is mostly needed is a tighter focus attention to the external variables of proper RED40(Rest, Exercise, Diet, 40 days to kick the boyfriend out and move a new one in)


    GET OUT!!!!!!!!

    never mind, i will leave instead


  428. aahahaha


  429. HIV is a man made virus, intended for population control, it was introduced into the gay community inside Hep B vaccinations in the 80.s and introduced in Africa via the polio vaccinations, everyone knows that, it has not been around for million of years & it didnt come from some guy getting bitten by fucking monkey and spreading it from there I mean come on that’s like saying the Pope is spiritual, but all of this is definitely related to the victim mentality of society the human conscious ess manifests all this shit that goes on in the world,, so change begins when society learns to control their ego, hint … & connect to the light, then their is no more darkness death destruction and judgement & all the negative shit, it’s all an illusion. It requires a shift in consciousness and for that to occur we as a a global community have to become more spiritual and understand who we are, why we are here z& what we need to learn to correct errors if we don’t we will continue down this parth of disease war & famine, & it won’t be a great flood that wipes us out like last tme, will be something else, but it will still wipe us out & all the spiritually evolved souls will travel to the new earth t
    He enlightened super earth, the rest will be stuck here in the burrows under the lands, just like on Mars desolate & dead with no atmosphere all shriveled up like an old prune & they still won’t get it, but that’s ok they’ll get it eventually.. Everyone gets what they deserve, it’s the universal law of attraction, ie eat junk food you get fat, smoke you die of cancewater down the street naked and you catch a cold, hey you should be a Taxi driver, with the amount of boyfriends you go through you’d make some extra cash on the side driving them to the nearest bus stop

  430. depending one one’s definition of a boyfriend, in truth i have not had any since my infection in early 2010, so whatever, how old did you say you were again?

    i suppose twits are of any age…

    oh please, as if we have ability to make a virus, you give way too much confidence to the apathetic haters

    i ask, why willingly be a comorbidity schizoid moron in the face of so much adversity, like say the 250,000 kids who die from this virus each year?

    some how i doubt any of them want to hear your lackluster

    16.6 million orphaned kids

    2 million deaths a year

    34 million infected

    where is your compassion?

    700 kids will die sometime today, and that is all the hopeful words you have to offer them?

    you really are a random bully, you know that?

    and obviously not someone infected with the virus, nor do you likely have any close friends in your daily life who are infected

    and well thanks for your comorbidity that i pray i remain immune to

    you remind me of some insane person screaming in the street, completely clueless why they are so fucked up like they are

  431. I’m pleased you pray to remain immune to my comorbidity, now you have seen me the devil as I reveal myself to you… you can find comfort in knowing you with and of God in Heaven…

    A Mexican standoff is most precisely a confrontation between three opponents, facing each other. The tactics for such a confrontation are substantially different than for a duel with only two opponents, where the first to shoot has the advantage. In a confrontation with three mutually hostile participants, the first to shoot is at a tactical disadvantage. If opponent A shoots opponent B, then while so occupied, opponent C can shoot A, thus winning the conflict. since it is the second opponent to shoot that has the advantage, no one wants to go first.

    Two is company, Three is peace

  432. Or is it two is war, three is peace..

    guess you could look at it from both perspectives….

  433. no matter who, where ALL untruthfulness is ‘i am’ not there, nor shall i ever want to be, not possible, when truth is ‘me’

    so it comes down to what one’s battle is and is not, within all the useless transference in the world, within your own self, of only your own self to blame at the end of life for all your foolish ill advised unhealthy decisions that amounted to nothing, far from thriving vitality inner happiness shining brightly with nothing to do, but just go be who i am 2, so easy 2 do with someONE true like ‘me’. duh!

    as well as be a wise activist guardian for the unwise ill equipped fuckedups along the way, glee i wonder who, seeing as most gay youth are naive vulnerable to the bully user abuser world, that i survive(d).

  434. the seeds I planted for the cheery tree finally have borne fruit, & they taste yummi too, plus they are good for me, I love the walnuts as well but I really cannot be bothered trying to crack them open constantly & after all the hard work required in opening them up all I end up with is a nut…

  435. i correct myself….you are not a twit, you are an ANNOYING TWIT!

  436. Besides half of them are rotten, but you don’t realize until you’ve wasted all that time trying to crack the hard shell open,

    I think I’ll give them to my neighbor she likes to make walnut caramel candy, compliments the bitterness from the viniger she puts in her salads she loves to eat salad, I call her rabbit thats my nickname for her cause she’s got big ears

  437. truth has already come, no one becomes victorious over truth, nor shall anyone escape truth, of only the fool who thinks they do, therefore those of truth are already victorious, where the only opponent is one’s own self, duh!

    time for ‘me’ to step OUT and have fun in life, with whatever smart dick contender of a fearless boy/girl… know, it really is soooooooo amazing how embryonic structures easily become either female or male genitalia, where i always knew since i was a child the female i am with male genitalia, only to learn there really is no difference, of our sexuality is mere curiosity of our other sex which is bewildering i suppose from an analytical blind observation, just is of any blind observation, which does not see that female and male sexual brain activity pleasure to stimulus feels exactly the same.

    and well, you have to have anal orgasm total mind blowing body shuddering while cumming experience to appreciate this truth i know WELL!!!!!!!


    GET OUT!!!!!!!!!

    ahahaahahahaaaaa HA!!

  438. for you defeatist ego maniacs with nothing better to do than go around annoying others, please please know, that you cannot defeat one you cannot comprehend, for you cannot defeat that which you do not see, nor desire to see, until such a time as ‘i am’ known, and well seeing as i only reveal myself to those of my choosing, so i ask, just where the fuck do you suppose you can find ‘me’? uhm?

    [hands on hips, Andyy spits his gum out, and gives one long last look as s/he walks away annoyed, as per usual]

  439. omg! ouch ouch ouch, these laughing attacks are always so painful!

    as for a fearless girl who enjoys both vaginal and anal orasmic experience at the same time, which is the same thing actually, only heightened, i am fairly sure my anal penis orgasmic experience is exactly the same in mind blowing earth shattering feeling, as in only a lover realizes fully that everthing(and everyone i suppose), in life seems just so boring, does it not?

    so what are you waiting for?

    God to return and tell you all the truth of how horribly boring you all are?

    for sure God is ONEness of both female and male, where in truth, is not different like most think, no, none of us are different from one another in feeling, just ask Madonna!

    ahahahhahahaaaaa HA!!!!


  440. time is running out for me, it’s time i stand up in pure true self-respect approach to my holy joyful absolute carefree sexual happiness as a much wiser leader than are most of you morons i pass by, of God’s divine will that i finish out my life with my soul-mate partner who sure as fuck better be paying attention to my every word or find themselves left behind in the million strong crowd gathering on my wedding day!

    the greatest fool of all fools is the fool who does not realize their own aimless plodding along without cultivation of wisdom; foolishness

  441. & when I die & go to heaven I want to buried in a shallow grave with the word L.U.V tattooed on my bones so n two thousand years when the archaeologist go searching for some clues to the past they won’t have to spend decades digging up egyption mummies, they can just wipe away the dust & find me lying there… The only challenge they will face is trying to understand what the symbols engraved on my bones mean..

    they might come up with some variations I guess like,

    Lost Under Vulcano
    Leaves U Victorious
    Lost Under Volvo
    Left Upper Vortex
    Lov U Voice
    Lost U Vaginity
    Love U Vag
    Love U Vampire


    Shame about the Eater

  442. By the way the Purple Hydraangeas outside my font door are blooming must have been all the spring rains we had recently… Byatch

  443. when we alter the future of one person in our collective conscious effort(s), and that person likewise does so as well, and on down thru the generations for 90 billion years, then we indirectly alter the future of 1,250,000,000 people.

    and what of holy joyful absolute carefree lover happiness, does that not alter the entire collective conscious awakening of everyone in the eternal future?

    so just how sacred valuable is the happiness union of lovers to all?

    life and death holy value actually


    of only our own self we fail in avoidance of all truth awareness horribly boring stuckness with our choices which = our life

  444. our sun only has 5 billion years left of energy in it, so hurry the fuck up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ahahhaha HA!!!!

  445. famine is man made

  446. spiritual poverty = physical poverty

  447. I called then power company but they hung up on me, so I called back a little bit later on & they hung up on me again so I tried once more & finally I got through, but they didn’t listen to a word I was saying & now I have no electricity…very soon my batteries will be flat their already really very drained……….

    Motto of the story

    When they hang up on you once, give them a second chance if they hang up on you a second time CHANGE POWER COMPANIES becuase you can call a third time but what’s the point they won’t listen to you anyway…

    Ok well that’s enough for today, I’m on edge I’m feeling suffocated from all the heat & my batteries are at 1pc.

    I’m on the edge, the edge of darkness & I don’t want to push it right now because then I will blamed for at least part of tipping the balance of power Of darkness

  448. while fear mongering control over others may indeed see results in line with one’s objective, the power of darkness is nothing more than a falsehood manifestation of projection transference identification process, mostly of subconscious recreation of stage mimic seeking response validation in line with what is our pure intuitive feelings which may not of had sufficient validation during past unresolved events, as well as dynamics of current levels of needs being met, or more often the case of needs not being met, to whatever extent the so called power of darkness may play out, in truth, the only power of darkness is how it serves as discerning light outcome for a growing wisdom within the collective conscious awakening of the eternal all.

    which is why darkness is not able to ever become victorious over light, because darkness unknowingly serves as discerning light for children of the light.

    when revealing light truth shines into all falsehood darkness, darkness is pushed out by the children of the light who are wise in knowing the binding nature of learned falsehoods that hold fast in captivity children of the light of lessor growth in wisdom of divine true nature of all passing thru this realm of generational teaching and learning flow, both of falsehood and true nature perpetuation growth, not really a balance of power, when no one is able to become victorious over the unfailing power of truth, only of fools who esteem power over others as something worthy.

    the full power of God is TRUTH, just beware of the merchants of God who claim they know God, while barely even knowing their own pure true divine ‘real’ self nature.

  449. I just want to say thank you to Emily for being my best friend & also how much I love & value her friendship we have learnt so much from each other & will continue to do so for all of eternity & beyond.

    Thanks Emily, your looking hot

  450. RESPECT starts and stops with y♥u

    Pretending to your own self that someone loves you when they obviously don’t, becomes clear after you spend too many nights alone, asking yourself, “why the fuck am i allowing this for myself?” Set yourself free and just go be Y ♥ U, they do, so why not true?

  451. our lover life revolves around our own emotional honest clarity not being left to the lame ass whims of immature others

    be assertive and direct while alone with your emotional honesty in finding the way out of all useless cycle pattern passive/aggressive you may be trying to deal with in bad relationships you simply stayed too long in…

  452. uhm….who the fuck is Emily Sister – Margareete?

    have not heard that one before…

    all eternity? must be damn good! 😉

  453. saying it was so bad back then is a rather shallow thing to say, in realizing how bad it still is out there for 34 million of us, most of who don’t have access to life saving meds, and why? Corporate greed…so i ask, what do people actually die from? uhm? They don’t die from Hiv/Aids, they are mostly dying from everyone’s lack of oneness compassion! That IS the TRUTH!

    i always felt so compassionate for those of us who were falling to the illness of HIV/AIDS since i first arrived on the scene when it was so bad, because there were not drugs able to keep us alive a the time, the most haunting of all voices and words from one lover suffering with Aids, as i stepped out of the cab, he said to me his final words i heard from him, “You keep going Andyy”….i never saw him again, and another was gone from our midst. “I am still going strong.”

    did not think to myself that i would ever become infected, but in truth, i was born to be infected, where now my compassion has become even more pure and true than ever before, especially for most of the 34 million today who cannot afford the life saving medications.

    let us all teach the next generation to unite and stand together worldwide with pure true loving compassion for one another as equals, beyond all monetary goals of useless self serving greed that leads to nowhere, the TRUTH, as the single most important of all spiritual teachings for anyone to LEARN about their divine pure true grace oneness nature of us all, where in times of need it is the meek and the weak who need the upright and strong, where in time, we all fall to weakness ill of our own aging body, so thankful of how a society should always BE, loving as thee.

  454. the greatest holocaust is always the one we cannot see, but far worse than this, is the one we can see and do little or nothing about it.

    how horrific for those among us living in the face of all our wretched arrogant pompous gross materialist illness of heart!

    what does this say about us spiritually as a global society?

    how is it that we have to even debate the issue in the face of such evil?


  455. It’s not my mother, it’s not my son

    It is the demon inside of you that keeps me away

    Oh father why have you forsaken me… Bla bla bla

    Victim mentality, that’s why the world is In such darkness

    Power control & destruction

  456. exscuse me is that a speaker in your ear, or is the battery flat in the speaker in my head… Testing one, two , ah ha three

  457. Lover Happiness Life waits for no one that dares to leave a lover alone

  458. [the thunder of horses in full gallop rushing in, comes to a calm gentle settling of the dust stirred up, as Andyy steps down from the magnificent horse of pulsing blood and deep breaths snorting thru it’s nostles, demanding respect to be noticed for it’s beautiful presence]

    Firmly expressing with an exacting question put forth, Andy simply says, “So what’s it going to be motherfuckers?”

    “You think life is something you will always have, when in truth we are all just passing thru this realm for but a brief moment, and before you know it, the moment is gone, just like i will be gone from your midst and back on my horse to eventually wake up with the lover as is myself!”

    “Why is it people wake up too late, when the moment is gone, of life just goes on without us? uhm?”

    “What, do you think you have something no one else has?”

    “Do you think what you have to enjoy is not the same as all of us?”

    “So then why all the luke warm, when fire hot passion is who i am?”

    “How the fuck else do you think i can orgasm? uhm? If not with a passionate love as myself? uhm?”

    “Ok fine, you sit there until you are old and grey, long after i am dead, and then tell me what i already know 2 BE TRUE…..that i am the same as all you males and all you females, where no one, including you, enjoys being alone, as though unlovable?”

    “WE come forth from the love we are!”

    “Therefore do not be what i do not want to be, falseness of who i am!”



  459. i really feel that long hair is part of our primal brain natural delight with one another, of both males and female sensuality, so boys, grow your hair, it’s sooooooo sexy! 🙂

  460. What was your name again ?

    sorry too much cocaine, losing my memory

  461. one of the two female rabbits died today, although though to an observer of their innate male sexual behavior, you would not know they are both females.

    therefore, just like the senses of sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch perception feel the same for all females and males, so too does sex feel the same for all females and males, where we are merely sexual in of the same pleasure feeling perception, our nature, without any need of knowing, for survival of a species, which means our indifference to being different is a falsehood.

    the visual observations of nano bots forming into whatever programing shape, is what the embryo structures are capable of doing, of why all embryos have nipples, able to form into a female or male, where sexuality is identical in pleasure perception feeling, of no need necessary to be difference in feeling, where only the physical function of merging together appears different, without need of feeling different, which explains why males supposedly feel as though females, or why females supposedly feel as though male, of identical pleasure feeling oneness bridge that all embryos start out as, neither male or female, where there is only one sexual feeling.

    as for multiple orgasms, so too does the male experience the rapid body shuddering multiple orgasms during ejaculation, not sure why some see this as different between females and males, when it’s not.

    so have fun out there in what we all actually are, the same, easily able to role play as male and female, because in truth, the sexual pleasure feeling is actually the same, where those who think we are different, are merely those yet of the lessor forefather awareness mind fuck so dangerous in all their need to dominate and control others like they yet do, indicative of the truth of just how low their self-esteem truly is, perplexing in how they claim to love females/male, while not being able to love the female/male oneness all are born as, the same, not different, where the need to be different is of dominating and control issues of cycle pattern abusiveness with others, of those who pathetically put other people down as a way of building their self u, going against their oneness harmonious nature all are born as and from, the harmonious realm of the celled body.

    clearly, the most absurd manifestation of the forefather ignorance, is with the most extreme forms of abuse towards homosexuals in some parts of the world, of pattern abuser need to control others thru killing, which in it’s self is all a manifestation of external oppression(forefather ignorance handed forward) that results in internal oppression of a true nature, and well…..STUPID following STUPID.

  462. Why all they mixed messages, when angels talk words irellevent just telepathic, like, words have energy words say one thing energy says another confusing really, I choose telepathy less confusion, plus the body language is another confusion, the wisps the outstretched arms on another like, it’s like are you for real, or have I never communicated telepathy before ho lo want a cigaretteee sorry about the rabbit that died omg must get another one do not hesitate because the single lonley rabbit will get depressed and sick, unless you get another rabbit for company, everyone one needs someone for companionship and fun and joy & company & hormone sex, I think we focus too much on expectations if we have expectaions the opposite happens if we do not have expectations then we find ourselves surprised by getting what we always wanted which of course is a surprise becuase we were not expecting it, & when we inherit joy fullness sexual release of tension plus soul splitting tongue kissing, it is a gift not an expectation, see becuase everything in the world is in reverse, we trick our ego and really earth is just the reverse of heaven… As above not so below .. Below the belt

  463. Epic FAIL !!!

    when Elton John cannot even get being a QUEEN right !!

    Hey Elton Call Me

    $200 hr, $1000 overnight or $1M for life,

    i’ll make you feel like a Queen…

    or did you get a better offer ?


    ah ha there’s only…..


    HEY YOU !



    this voucher entitles the bearer to one months free pampering

    Let me make you, Feel like a REAL QUEEN

    expires 31/03/2012


  464. Did you see the way David straightned ( cough ) Elton’s bow tie on the red carpet, Honestly Elton can keep him I never was a good ass licker

    I’ m on Madonna’s Side she’s the only Man in the house ha ha ha ….
    I’m sooo gay today

  465. This one’s For Andy my Knight in Shinning Amour 🙂

    Drag Queens & Transgenger RoCk !!

    & every-one Luv’s a Queen !!

  466. ohpsSi

    just brush it under the carpet,,, ha ha

    licking Baileys Irish Cream off an ice cube …

    brings a chill to my nipples

  467. get out !!!

    your weren’t invited ………………

  468. Lacobacillus Acidopilius,or just PURE


    Bifidobacterium Lacitis


    ……………………………………………………………………………or just

    ayeee… lot’s of HOT AIR ?

    …..flatulence problem……..

    …….don’t be embarrassed ….

    Try ME

    ……..I’m Free, Organic !

  469. Loose Some FAT !!! make you feel LIGTter

    cannot loose the FAT ?

    Try to at LEAST SMILE 🙂

    “LIFE” is too “precious”

    !! QUEEN !!

  470. terrified Ricky, in the background making a run for it ??

    or is he checking to see which fragrance of Material Girl Perfume his wife is wearing… Truth: Duality. Sin is my twin. Contradictions push and pull. Hide & seek (e)

  471. Or did Ricky see me, hiding in the wings..

    read into it as much as you desire

    there are many interpretations

  472. Well For those in this world of the living dead, that still have a functioning brain & acute appreciation of style,culture and Class will appreciate this “Madonna – ‘Making of’ WE” video I found.

    There is only one true force in the universe that encompasses the “all”

    Love ^ Light …

    & for those who are so blind from their own ego to see, time to trim some ego from the belly of gluttony…
    …… & the sea of Jealousy

    One thing I will say about Madonna is she does not need to prove herself she accomplished that a long long time ago.. so any project she embraces such as this one, can only come from a place of love, passion and dedication, as you will see for yourself.

    ( do you think Edward was gay or just jealous gossip , he’s hot )

  473. It’s not fun at all … It sucks real bad

    6 Billion people & only one knows

    Thank you for listening to my secret

    I feel better now you know


  474. believe in your own passionate expressing spirit of self, as a shining example for others to discover the same joyful expressing as IS their own spirit

  475. our spirit is joyful by nature of the purity of the flawless realm we exist in and as, however, we need to be diligent in turning towards allowing our spirit to feel blessed holy sacred inner joyfulness, away from wasted time doldrums whatever, that only you can do, although infectious is the inner joyfulness releasing and realizing of the all, that leaves behind all pain, all sorrow, all needless mostly imagined suffering of blind fools.

    invigorate one’s thirst to BEcome free to BE YOU, no matter your race, sex, orientation, religion, wealth, power or politic that our low self-esteem has a tendency to pathetically cling to, when no one really knows and appreciates the purity of the flawless universe we are made of and exist as, pureness of oneness unifying soul

  476. Happy New Year to ALL!

  477. we are a like,
    even our spite,
    we are a smite,
    even, our fright

    blessed are those who take the time to realize the feelings of others as once were our own, for all are of the same generational mad flood evoking of our feelings, no matter who or where you live in this one world of shared happiness delight, without the useless absurd (yet) ignorant blind falsehood plights.

  478. uhmmm….officially man kind is a 7 billion soul collective

  479. 7 billion really that’s a lot of people & not enough resources to sustain them all and if they all multiply like rabbits then soon we will have 20 billion and more famine ..

    Ok that’s way to many people, time to stop discrimination against gay people … the world needs more gay and lesbians & less babies, adopt instead… well for a couple generations at least till the populations reduces a little..

    then later on we can start to procreate again boost up the numbers.

    Well its more logical, the other option is War Famine and Disease

    been there done that, not much fun

  480. no, it is low self-love esteem manifesting as gross materialism falsehood teaching and learning, against our true nature oneness unity, that is the irresponsible abandonment illness of heart we witness every day, where it is the poorest who know this well without doubt whatsoever as to just how selfish minded wealthy people are, of how it is that the poor survive, as their true sharing oneness nature.

    don’t believe me?

    want to learn the true nature atonement they are?

    you will have to let go of your falsehoods, and go live as a poor person for however long it takes till you realize the pure true atonement oneness kingdom of heaven found

    this is not a judgement, this is the easy truth anyone can fully turn towards

    just ask Madonna, she obviously knows and is the truth of a most powerful warrior of truth leading by shining oneness example, beloved to many of God’s beloved orphan children so thankful, as am i

    so the solution has already come

    however, blind leading blind is the great foe, where in time, however many thousand generations it takes, unity will naturally continue to grow, and well, perhaps the world is better than it was or how the world could of turned out worse thus far, just as it yet is bad out there for many, my deepest most profound concern i feel for children of starvation despair, of bewilderment face as to our coldness uncaring arrogant gross materialistic wealth junk collecting hoarding like most do.

    it is the poor who’s hearts are more able to know the kingdom of heaven found, for the kingdom of heaven is oneness flow feeling like they naturally do, of less distraction in gross materialism participation

    the human species once lived in harmony of it’s natural habitat, no different than other species, where everything was free, until the businessmen came along to charge a premium for everything, blinding us to our natural true nature harmoniousness with nature and each other.

    i know where ‘i am’ easily found, of true nature, and where ‘i am’ not found of untrue nature, of what is the flawless realm we enter into, purity as that of our scientific mathematical constant truth that does not change, cannot change or waver, as a day that does not actually set, just as the sun does not stop shining……TRUTH

  481. in other words, you all need to mourn for….your self, of all you who do not (yet) fully realize the kingdom of heaven found…… your oneness feelings flow, of God’s main objective, ‘Holy Joyful Absolute Care(free) Happiness of the eternal all y♥u

    holy holy holy truth that cannot fail, and only y♥u who fail to realize fully the truth

    in every blessed beloved step, their waiting
    in every blessed beloved breath, their waiting
    in every blessed beloved death….



  482. as though a fat man thru the eye of a needle one enters fully into awareness of what the kingdom of heaven is and is not

    unfeeling falsehood ego is the fat man, is it not?

    what is baffling, is how can one ever foolishly feel jealousy for those so empty and without the kingdom of heaven found?

    it is sad that a child of God born into poverty behind the falsehood disconnecting walls, is not told the wise truth, and yet intuitively they all feel and are the truth for all to behold, even if one turns a blind eye to them, the truth remains as it is of you all

    who among you can courageously look at the truth of this world from God’s omnipotent view, and enter into the kingdom of heaven constant intuitive feeling wise discerning truth that is not harmful to one’s divine pure true real child of God’s self?

    suffer the little children unto me Jesus says, well yes, of course Jesus stands up for them, unlike the deathful illness of lame heart all you, of why Jesus says clearly, “Death to your useless absurd low self-love esteeming ego falsehoods!”

    Wise halo Truth discerning feelings of any of you, is the only ‘real’ self power that is able to shield the divine child of God within and a divine child without; such is the truth of the contemplating constantly feel aware Jesus, the true and faithful friend of all of us

    what we look for has indeed already come, truth, but just as is the fear mongering illness of heart unfeeling nature of false ego masks a divine child, submerged within, afraid and hiding behind, lives in suffering denial they are without truth, so too do all divine children consequentially directly suffer without truth, in what is cause for all falsehood absurd useless suffering walls that exist; illness of heart

    how are these children any different from the children of a Nazi prison camp, starving and left to die?

    the truth is……they are not different at all, in the face of all heartlessness that one chooses not to realize fully the truth of what is indeed an evil prison of death they cannot escape, their waiting…..without y♥u

    how is it that the kingdom of heaven of blessed Holy Joyful Absolute Carefree Happiness flow is made to be as though a truth judgement against one’s self, when in truth it is actually the only key which unshackles one’s self from such evil ways, restoring all to the glory of purity of our true harmonious oneness nature?

    death to all your useless falsehood ego, for truth reveals it IS death!

    yeah thru the valley of spiritual death we march onward….as another is left behind to die, too weak to stay with us in heaven found all around and within us



  483. which is my point,

    it is the starving and impoverished who are most happy in joyful appreciation of who they are & who will come to be in the kingdom of heaven at one with me.

    it is the fat business man who cannot even see his own penis, let alone the joys of heavenly blissfulness that will wallow in misery in the empty void that once was a thriving cock .. opps rock

  484. Rock we call earth, there is no point in “killing” them for being “unresponsive” to the spiritual awareness they lack in their darkness because they are already dead !!!!

    Spiritually Dead, like a blade of grass berried deep beneath the ice shelf in the Arctic, void of light for most of the day…..

    ( what’s with the slowness on here ? am I on a 4 minute delay )

  485. indeed, it has been said that we cast our own self out of constant flow feeling oneness equality heaven like many aimlessly do, pursuing empty gold vessels that serve no one, in what is the need for status quo absurd priority that many cling to as though something of value.

    just above the threshold of survival is our ease of being the holy joyful absolute carefree lover happiness, that often gets sidelined by the insatiable career pursuit, or dysfunctional at best, of any individuals choice to be that way.

    even of artists this can hold seen, like the gold chain ostentatious ones, in all their shiny trinket collecting so silly like they do, without much genuine authentic compassionate turning towards their real self expression of oneness unity, so annoying like a lot of manufacturing mentality approach to their goal of art

    although i suppose everyone is of their catharsis process to whatever degree they are, which means wise spiritual leaders by example is the place to BE one’s holy joyful absolute carefree lover happiness.

    personally i am annoyed with the lame ass lovers in all their whatever aimless plodding along nowhere without ‘me’

    where i need to stop with my denial for avoiding my own emotional honesty truth, that it is just not working for me as much as my imagination hopeless romanticism continues to keep me stuck in cycle pattern denial

    i get glimpses of my emotional honesty feelings, like i feel right now, and well, i need to turn towards who i passionately am able to be the oneness constant flow lover happiness feelings with someone of the same passionate inclination, where i always knew my lover sex as the most valuable shining happiness of life, easily outshining everything else in life, that amazing feeling that you really don’t have any desire to be anything other in feeling than lover bliss

    adjusting boundaries, making decisions = your life

    where in the end, we actually do everyone a favor in staying loyal to our lover heart, in the face of all absurd stuckness denial that is too afraid to stand up in emotional honest expression with them in saying, “This is not working for me, i need to move on, i wish you the best in loving life, but i need to go”

    without apology for saying the truth

    we have only our self to blame in life, for over tolerance pretending denial with those we really are not constant shining lover happiness, as i realize perhaps they do not have passionate lover feelings for me?

    oh for fuck sakes, it has been over a year and i still am stuck in denial of my own lover happiness?

    perhaps i suffer from hiv stigmatization more than i want to admit to myself?

    we are our own worse enemies when it comes to fearless emotional honesty expressing our wants and needs to others

    ok, i am going to go sort out my boundaries and clarify them with who they pertain to


  486. what a shame i could not see your last post

    damn computer 😦

    i need a replacement

  487. um i am gay


    me alone, homophobes

  488. sorry Andy i just wanted to get it out there

    stop discrimination NOW !!

    we are all ONE


    Hey Im GOd, just wanted to introduce my self to
    YOU ..

    I do not have a clue what i am doing either.. 🙂

    talk about the Blind Leading the Blind


    hope hi utube link works,
    Embedding disabled by request

    Embedding disabled by request

  489. A boardroom teleconference, a Martini & a Prayer oh another hard day in the office…

    & all I want to do is lay on a beach look up at the blue sky & talk to God…

  490. God is oneness sameness of the female and male, that for countless generations most thought God’s children which all start out as the same embryo, are different from one another, where in truth, the only difference in anyone is their taught and learned whatever generational mad flood ignorance shit attitude of falsehood separational ego driven barriers, as though better than another, twisting and twisting derangement disconnection, (a)pathetically away from true soul; blind evil

    for me, i finally made sense of my own oneness of female and male sexual feelings, that i know for fact are not any different in feeling for all males and females, after realizing how the embryonic structures for female and male form from same embryonic structures we all start out as, wired to the brain the same way, same in feeling, just different in appearance.

    this explains why females feel as though male, and males feel as though female, because the sexual feeling in our brain pleasure response to stimuli is exactly the same for both females and males….i always knew there was an explanation that made perfect sense, and this is it.

    leave it to a boy who loves his anal sex orgasmic imaginative female self to figure this out, after how many decades now?

    if anyone knows this truth, i do

    so i ask, why does society not learn the truth and teach the next generation, and do away with societies (a)pathetic need to see us as either female or male, when in truth we are all the same in feeling?

    so sad that so many do not enjoy truly fantastic role playing fun sexuality oneness of one’s ease of being both female and male….until such a time as one comes along able to help them realize the joy of such

    that was a hint biyatches!!!!!!!!!!!!

    well, of course there are other compatibility issues of irreducible (in)differences one should address as WELL

    self awareness is the first step….

  491. hum irreducible (in)differences

    leaves only two choices really,
    end of the road ( world) or
    unconditional positive regard, if that is an (im)possibility

  492. it is when Miko says, “whateverr”, and hangs up, walks away…

    lame ass fucking internet texting cannot EVER compete with real life biyatches!

    if anyone knows this one well, i do

    unconditional positive regard is best found with God, not me, im just human, oh but wait, i am not even that according to those who drag my lover heart thru their cruel gutters, now am i?

    pffffffffff, ya whateverr Miko, thanks for all the lies biyatches!

  493. cough…

  494. This song is “…… My favorite of all time … I should know .. Ok
    No cameras please…. My paint is fragile … feel so crowded in here, even though I AM the only oil painting in the room,

    ok everyone OUT !! tired of smiling at your all, almost wetting myself laughing seeing you all trying to work out how my eyes follow you around this Luvly room I got here at the louvre, i am a Mona Lisa…

    “one of a Kind”
    ” A Masterpeace ”

    ….. Priceless …..

  495. Hang on,

    Whats going on here,
    some one turn the lights on !

  496. Can you believe they actually make copies of me ….. CHEAP COPIES I might add. They print all shapes and sizes ..

    But there is only

    ….One Original

    Painted by the very hand of one of the worlds createst Artists ….
    Leonardo Da Vinci

    Not some cheap laminated, photo copy

  497. hmmm…

    why does a perfectionist one always of need to break everything, when there is always something to learn about one’s perfect self feelings, under all the manifesting falsehood avoidance?

    when it comes to awareness of our own self feelings, so beautiful, it is ‘that’ of what heaven is, our feelings, that we wish for others to come into awareness 2

    as in united oneness bliss feeling true

    rather than feeling as though dead, or may as well already be dead, the feeling, where you can not pretend everything is ok, once dead, as though you already are, so why even remotely pretend while yet alive?

    hmmm….avoidance, dynamics, really just best to enjoy being you in your path, let who ever is just easily loving of you 2 BE the ONE!


    where in tr♥th, ♥ll are the ch♥sen ♥ne of p♥re tr♥e sp♥r♥ted y♥u, especially when nothing else 2 do?

    get it? 2? 2/2 = 1

    oh just take your T shot and fuck me for fuck sakes, come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    was that begging? im not begging am i?

    oh damn, i am….

    catharsis process says we are all in the making, ‘me’ of you, you of ‘me’, all are the same in feeling

    heaven needs 2 of y♥u

    it’s really so sad my dick is not long enough to fuck myself, otherwise i would, every day, ♥♥♥X a day, why not?

    ~ hiv stigmatization


    oh, i am blessing meant for someone out there, i know i am, and they too for ‘me’, cause ‘i am’ what heaven is, same as y♥u

    we all keep reaching reaching reaching true, the fun of y♥u 2, always we are seeking oneness feeling of holy joyful absolute carefree inner happiness as the lover y♥u all are, where it is best to lead one’s own self first in what the feeling is, without fear in just being y♥u, of whoever is drawn near in feeling their same oneness feeling so free as y♥u 2, cause in truth, one needs first to be the flame of heaven that awakens the feeling in us all, and well, that is what Madonna fearlessly always does best, always was and is her (un)conditional positive regard oneness awakening, wisely, sorta like one’s need to create heaven first in order to enter and find heaven 2 be true, inside all of y♥u, which is actually conditional, is it not, so unconditional is not actually true, cause the light that shines thru all 2 another, and another, 2 our lover(s) 2, all are of the uniting light that pushes out all things that go against holy joyful absolute carefree happiness, albeit, best achieved and maintaining of this holy sacred light as the true lover oneness y♥u of 2, in all we say or do, i really am still waiting in God’s bridal chamber, without anything else to do, they will find ‘me’, they just will, just need to stay in my own enjoyable day doing whatever i enjoy doing, mostly the art, the music, it’s all of the same light shining within outwardly opening of heaven ♥ll around

  498. may the healing continue for us both, for us all, for i do know heaven is holy joyful absolute carefree happiness feelings, and well, you seem ok, i pray you always are, for this world needs the bright shining happiness light of y♥u, that awakens them true too, 2 what heaven just so easily is, our oneness same feelings, of what i pray for all my friends, strangers too, all are God’s child awakening to what heaven is…..y♥u

  499. Madonna is a pure true compassionate wise approach to self of us all, 2 be…..true…..where truth is not able to fail our pure true ‘real’ self discerning of all useless falsehood that serves the divine self in what….not 2 be….false.

  500. Toronto homegrown dykes rule this fuckedup world biyatches!

  501. i should know….i am one!

  502. break a leg Madonna..

    & watch out for the low flying balls at the super bowl..

  503. Elton John is the reincarnation of King Henry the 8th’s


  504. you should say goodbye to fatty, i sent the Angel of Death after him

    he’ll be gone soon

  505. ok send me the fuel bill for the jet…

    i soon put a stop to all this comming and going

  506. you got to come

    before you go

    universal principals

  507. Why be 2nd best
    when you can be

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