The Queen’s English: At Her Majesty’s Pleasure


At Her Majesty’s Pleasure: The term is used to describe detainment in prison for an indefinite length of time. A judge may rule that a person be “detained at Her Majesty’s pleasure” for serious offences. Guy uses this phrase all the time. When the children ask when they can leave the table, he says, “At her majesty’s pleasure!” Please use this phrase in a sentence today! I am here to spread my scintillescent light upon you all! Remember Kabbalah encourages you to share your knowledge with everyone! Teach others what you have learned. Have FUN!


728 Responses

  1. Love Love Love!

    Joy Joy Joy!

    I wish i was detained at Her Majesty’s Pleasure!


    it is a part of my soul damn it, and your the only one i care to share it with.

    as for you miserable ones who detain yourselves in denial of your sexuality…call me damn it!

    😉 😀

    oh damn…i better stop for the day.


    i love you.

  2. i am so upset that Matt ditched me.

    his loss.

    they always come back…and of course i will be there for him when he does.

  3. madonna,remember me,i am your friends in hong kong!!!my blog:!A8I0eXqeGRuR9hSErSyv

  4. madonna,remember me,i am your fans in hong kong!!!my blog:!A8I0eXqeGRuR9hSErSyv

  5. We, Romanian fans, are at …Her Majesty’s pleasure!
    How does that sound ;)) ?! I sense a new trend coming :)). At lest we’re not “lambs”…duh

    P.S. Sal’ di3nut-z@!

  6. Sorry… I forgot the a from least

  7. The milkman, whose motto was, ‘the customer is Queen’, provided additional services for “her majesty’s pleasure”.

  8. Ahh…!

    I’m not good at writer, speaker and lover…but, I’m writing comment, now. because, I want to be at her majesty’s pleasure…and, you can call me “Mr. Bean” also next time…


  9. hi madonna. I used to get told the same thing when I was little. it really bugged me after a while. I shared this blog with my mam and Grandma and it brought back some long forgotten memories so Thanks

  10. a hard day for me today, saying so long to an old friend, Thanh.

  11. i feel like the first day i stepped off the bus, of reasonable cheer considering, free to live out my life with someone loving, of tender graceful caress of skin daily, loving embrace of the lovers who are truly loving of one another.

    When we surrender to our own feelings of love for another, which can be fearful for some, as we are all afraid to get hurt, it is of an eternal love we feel for someone, when we do actually surrender to the feelings of our (divine) true self, ideally with someone who too is like us, tender loving of us as we are of them, of cuddling for hours in sweetness of graceful caress, body massages, sweet music that is soft and of porta caeli(no rockin roll please), music like Enya or whatever works to sooth you as you fall into lover’s embrace.

    I came to know this of myself, as the most valuable thing i have discovered of myself, where indeed, while in graceful tenderness with another who is tenderness with us, it is a feeling of eternal love that you don’t want to stop feeling, but we do need to surrender to it fearlessly, which is easy for married couples, as they have already stepped thru the door of love with one another that feels the beautiful feelings for their lover, who they truly have come to love and want to love for the rest of their lives.

    Ya, we all want ‘that’.

    i know i am ‘that’, and i am relieved in my knowingness of this about myself, knowing without doubt, because i am aware of this about myself, so too there is someone out there for me who is just like me, and of their sincere desire for me who is just like them.

    sadly though, i walk alone today, where sincere optimism from my knowingness carries me gently of Jesus and God’s grace to a new cross road one day, of that i am certain, because of my own certainty in knowingness i have come to discover the greatest treasrure one shall ever find, the ‘Sincere Loving Divine True Self, that yearns to love another and be loved by them in their sameness of knowingness of love they sincerely do feel, connected in the exact sameness of love’s embrace, of the lover’s who are indeed loving every second of every day, of such sweetness of anticipation for each other day in and day out.

    thank father. thank you Jesus. thank you to all who CHOOSE to be loving and ARE.

    i am…because we are.

    i love you, knowing you too love me.

    as difficult as it may be for me, i am determined to arrive at the new cross road, of the same cross road actually, of that first day into my life everlasting, in my feeling the love of the lover’s holding hands and kissing everywhere i go, knowing not only where i belong, but of who i am, a loving lover soul mate that Jesus and God love completely…without doubt.

  12. “At her majesty’s pleasure!”, Mo might show mercy, on those who talk shit about her! , … Madonna I know your having a tough week, keep it together, you have never let us down and your not letting us down now.
    I believe that the average American now can see a media smear campaign for what this all is, and they won’t spend a dime for that garbage. But the brighter side, and there always is, you cannot buy this kind of publicity for the world! So either way, you Win, Win, Win!

    Strike a Pose!

  13. at her majesty her stupid way

  14. Nice to see you are back online…

    I wonder if you got what I sent you via your agent… If not will post a blog in 5 days… and leave it for 7.

    I’ve though alot about what you’ve been saying… and about you.


  15. I made another video – please don’t sue me!!!

    ‘the devill wouldn’t regconize you…

    I did more than that but the site I build just for you was too heavy for the free space… So I feel frustrated right now –

    So if you find it – hope you like it.

    P.S. If you sing the song -She’s everything that I sent your – you’ll change the world forever… Isin’t that what you want?

    Have fun!

  16. I took a picture of my new short hair – you should take a long look at the backround cuz I think something bad’s about to happen…
    Go to my spaces on hotmail (?)

  17. zcpj nzaesbqjh vapxtlogh gemqpcdih kgfrxm rtebkcf olndji



  20. Hey!

    Can I say… It’s so good to be me again. SOOOO happy!

    Hope you’re having a good tour, dreampt about you beeing really happy…

    Anyway – got lots to say but no time to say it. I really hope to see you when you’re here.

    Doux says hello to the kids.

    Oh – I almost forgot – I was happy too in my dream – cuz I had a gold bracelet…

    Smile, wink and kiss


  21. just a question before to go to sleep: what is the meaning of the prosition ” you must love me” because i didn’ t know that i can push my self for the love, until now i never command my love even for some thing like potato. isn’it a confusion on the will and the desire ? may be this sentence in this song is like a limerick of M old Man and it is a non sens ??
    if you you want lost some one , say ” you must love me ” be sure it is efficient like a tyranic order… help, even the most soft voice…(((((, and i don’ t anderstand how many people can hear this song and don’ t dare to say there is a mistake…of course if to love is to accept all you can say ” you must love me” , in this case it is a pathologic form of the feeling…Andy if he is not a bad trick of a computeur wd be more competant than me on this point… in any case in the end the finality is money… so !

  22. softest voice ? can i say that ? and proposition, and aim for finality…

  23. i used to think money was the solution, until i connected all the dots…………

    you must love ‘me’ as in the true real Self ‘me’ is what works for ‘me’ of anyone, however submerged their true real Self may be, the true real Self is within everyone.

    truly, i have been with the worse assholes on the motherfucking planet who were all about their useless many of useless attitude, who were always of surprise when i walked out on their sorry asses, as if i would stay where i did not feel loved.

    i feel that the only safe passage for mankind is of the truth of us all, that we must love the true real ‘me’ of us all, if ever a day is to come that will bring an end to all the world problems, where this sentence alone, is the single greatest true salvation, and in all honesty, it is what feels like HEAVEN for those who are sincere love for ‘me’ and i them, a blessed warm feeling for those who are of the loving true real Self, where you will always find ‘me’

    so yeah, they must love ‘me’ or i am not one who stays for anything less than genuine sincere love, nor should anyone……………finality is without question where ‘me’ is constant of yearning to feel loved and loving at all times………..

  24. money is the problem, the root of the problem with the world, of insatiable desires of greed, is it not?

    truly, i am 100% not about money, rather i am about every kind loving word with another, every soft tender touch, kiss, sincere hug, like the family life i came from, a truly loving Christian family of loving souls, mostly, other than my Dad at times who would get drunk…………….

    those who truly know ‘me’, truly love ‘me’, and those that do not……….i really don’t care, nor why would i concern myself of them and all their useless umloving insincere approaches with ‘me’ of foul tasting?

  25. there is stupid, and then there is arrogant stupid

  26. i know how it feels to BE loved by another constantly………..and anything less than loving with ‘me’ is not a conducive environment for ‘me’……….end of conversation, no matter how much wealth you may have, i could care less, i need to feel loved, and trust me, i have been with alot of the absurd rich morons of shallowness, thinking so highly of themselves above ‘me’, not knowing how absurd and well, complete jackasses they were to ‘me’, actually thinking i enjoyed their belittling bullshit as i gave them the finger, turned and walked out………..

  27. i know how it feels to BE loved by another constantly………..and anything less than loving with ‘me’ is not a conducive environment for ‘me’……….end of conversation, no matter how much wealth you may have, i could care less, i need to feel loved, and trust me, i have been with alot of the absurd rich morons of shallowness, thinking so highly of themselves above ‘me’, not knowing how absurd and well, complete jackasses they were to ‘me’, actually thinking i enjoyed their belittling bullshit as i gave them the finger, turned and walked out………..

  28. Self-actualization of the trueness aspects of our true real Self is what the safe passage is for mankind………there is no other way, where all must evolve together globally, or more war and starvation will continue, where greed of wealth is cause the spiritual death voids devoid of love for the 30,000 children who die daily.

    i despise the wealth actually, not so much their empty apathetic souls, rather the learned generational teachings which snares their precious souls………not all of them, but most.

  29. so congradulations to all the wealthy greedy fuckers out there…………….seemingly of no soul, not knowing they lead the rest of the world in ways of error which cause the spiritual death voids of apathy, all this self-serving bullshit garbage mentalities not of God, nor of ‘me’, for those of you who thought you knew ‘me’ well and did not…………end of conversation.

  30. love surpasses everything, and is the only environment you will truly ever find ‘me’

  31. ALL are precious innocent souls born into the unwise world, of the generational behavorial traits they pick up along life’s road, the entire past here in the future, and cause of all hardship, along with the apathy of crucial lack of desire for wisdom of safe passage………….for likely a few many more mellenia, even while the truth is all around.

  32. it is of constant yearning, will, desire, whatever you want to call it, for us to feel loved and loving.

    since when did anyone actually enjoy feeling unloved………ok, other than ‘me’?

  33. not really, my therapist says i am of pattern behaviour linked to my abandonment issues………..

  34. In logic and philosophy, proposition refers to either (a) the “content” or “meaning” of a meaningful declarative sentence or (b) the pattern of symbols, marks, or sounds that make up a meaningful declarative sentence. Propositions in either case are intended to be truth-bearers, that is, they are either true or false.

    In common usage, different sentences express the same proposition when they have the same meaning.

    Philosophy requires more careful definitions.

    ~ eloboration and expand

    The real Self is of truth in feeling what we feel, or the absence of feeling what we feel? the Truth?

    Andy and is ramblings………….. :mrgreen:

  35. you know ‘me’

  36. like i know ‘me’

  37. Happy new year for 2009… it wd be nice of you to write little bit here, xx

  38. Happy New Year to you too! I’ve eaten too much and I’m unfit. I seem to remember something cryptic was due to happen on January 5th? Yes? X

  39. This isn’t easy on a mobile phone!

  40. If you want to come to Swansea I could take you for lunch. I leave for work about 8.20 am. 🙂

  41. lol tomorrow i go to the high shool, and i m wake up at 6 ! i have seen on a map where is your place with the river, forest , hills, and alot of houses etc it seems nice …may be for the summer, keep some thing cold in the fridge… i m a stupid boy, in this time it is hard with my ex boyfriend who send me so horrible shit in my face of what i did 4 years ago…of course of his point of vue…arrrrh no body can hurt you like some one who you are in a real strong friendship … Happy New year again , xx

  42. Don’t worry – if you came then you would be my saviour and you would be in my good books forever!

  43. I promise you it would be happy and brilliant. I would never lie about something important for us both like that.

  44. So grit your teeth, girl, and go for it. It’s probably last chance we’ll ever have. X

  45. what does it mean the ” forever” ? are you writing a book in this moment about your life ? who is the real slim Andrew ? ” my life my work ?” or a strong SF book ? about hony ? bees ? mecanik engine ? the past, the future? if it s true you could send one with your signature to my place with a naughty dédicace or not … i m still waiting the album of the ex husband !!!

  46. So you’re not going to get in touch, you just want to screw around on the internet for another couple of years.

  47. And then you marry some basketball porn star. We seem to have been down this precise road before. I am so sick of this nonsence.

  48. If that is the life you want then that is the life you can have. However, I have no interest in chatting on the internet for another single day while you line up your next dumbo husband.

  49. I have been down that road with you before and I have no interest in doing it again.

  50. So I’m outta here. I have a life I want to be getting on with.

  51. If you want to come here, you will be very welcome. If you want that life instead, you can have it.

  52. I don’t expect we will ever meet, but at least the offer was there. I can do no more.

  53. So good luck for the future. X

  54. hey you have my mail…

  55. well 5 jan is birthday, i’d love to do lunch, but i don’t know where the fuck Swansea is, im off now for a walk in the sunshine

  56. where’s swansea

  57. seems like real feelings of real self………..

    awareness of constant yearning to feel loved and loving at all times reveals also just how absurd unloving emptiness of words others are with us at times, where truly it is absurd to BE anything other than the pure delicate sensitive gentle fun loving real Self at all times, and for those who wish to continue in uselessness of insincere approach with ‘me’, well, don’t expect to find ‘me’, as i am deserving and yearning only for love! :mrgreen:

    i am done with any and all who are of fractured uncertainty approach with ‘me’, as it leaves ‘me’ feeling toxic, so either get real and stay real with ‘me’, or find yourSelf someone else to who likes uncertainty falseness……apparently some do, or so they believe they do……….not ‘me’.

    is that enough clarity for you about ‘me’?

    we are not so different, are we?

    ok………i want real, and real is where i am running to and with in life, either with you, or without you, knowing you want the same with someone.

    only love………….100% without doubt

    i am done with doubtful others.

    every step, every heartbeat, every breath, every word, every person, every day, of God; sacred

    love andy OXO

  58. just go live a genuine life, as your sincere genuine honest real self, ok?

    with who ever of your CHOICE, and i will do the same, just make sure you sincerely love them and they you, where your feelings reveal with clarity the genuine sincere honest truth, where there is no element of doubt either way.

    ~ such is the journey of life

  59. deny love for ‘me’, Andy, all you want, like so many of you unwisely have over the course of my life, of the many i have passed on by along life’s road, and will continue to do so, so long as i feel anything other than love from any of you, of your own unwise projection identification in searching what you all look for, of what has already come, of what most do not see(feel 100%) of what HEAVEN constantly is.

    ~ it’s a real life issue, nothing to be alarmed about, to be celebrated actually.

    perhaps my loss of Troy to suicide has awakened ‘me’ to my acute hyper-alert sensitive 100% feelings i feel at all times like i do, of why i am the way i am? yeah, maybe. Or perhaps of why i am how i once was? yeah, that too.

    just don’t deny your bless Self love from someone who may want to love you, should you discover you love them too, and truly, you will feel 100% what HEAVEN constantly is at all times, in your surrendering to your constant yearning within us all, to constantly feel loved and loving, of what everyone already is, constantly loved by Jesus and God, and we who love Jesus, God and each other.

    forever more

    blessed love

    bless you

  60. I can do no more?

    there is lame as bullshit………..and then there is lame ass bullshit………


  61. biyatches!!!!!!!! :mrgreen:

  62. ya, last chance for emotional honesty to prevail……………….

    only love is good enough for anyone, so if it is not obviously real, genuine, sincere, honest………..we know(feel) the difference.

    BE true to/with Self, and Self of another, and all WILL BE what HEAVEN constantly is.

    only truth
    only love
    only compassion
    only wisdom

    forever more

    Jesus constantly loves ALL
    God constantly loves ALL
    We constantly love ALL

    forever more

    thank you Jesus
    thank you God
    bless you Jesus bless you forever more

    blessings to ALL

    bless you

  63. In Jesus and God’s eyes, our eyes, constantly there is ‘more’ work of our WILL BE Done on earth, of what HEAVEN constantly is.

    forever more

    blessed truth
    blessed love
    blessed YOU

    bless you

  64. what a child will believe, that they are not loved……….like the 14 year teen suicide bomber almost led astray from feeling loved by others.

    truly, a motherfucking fucked up world!

  65. doubt we WILL ever meet?

    you are correct, so long as there is no WILL, we WILL not meet.

    you already know fully what my WILL is, always was, always WILL BE


    it is your WILL which needs addressed, not mine…………or perhaps you have/are addressing it?

    why say something like that?

    it resonates with uncertainty

  66. i am so sick to death of of your;

    “Strength” ….&

    ” I Am So Strong” … &

    “I Am In Control “………..&

    “No One”

    is going to hurt me again..

    well good for you !!!

    go marry —– “No One”

    I’d rather jump off a bridge onto oncoming traffic, than put up with your doubt………

    If your so strong, like you think you ARE

    then great 4 you !, if that’s what you believe

    I am not dead yet !

    but feel free to abandon me

    I’d rather you did

    sooner than later

    that;s my polite way of saying

    stop teasing me, I’d rather

    you fucked off, than play games

  67. lol

    now there is some sincere introspection!

    i agree 100%, as though i said it myself?

    getting back to my real self who is of the loving tender real sensitivity at all times, has been the objective of all the introspection of the last two years, and i feel it now more than ever before.

    real is clearly what works for us, and when we make excuses for our disingenuine, insincere emotional honesty awareness knowingness certainty, then we remain of stuckness of the belittling transference thru us from and to others like we sometimes do, unfocused of what it is that we want, who genuinely works for us and those who obviously do not.

    indeed life is short, and if we waste time with those who waste our time, their time, of their lacking of reflecting on their own emotional honesty feelings like so many do, of their sorta game face they wear while around us, then we are not being sincere in telling them what we yearn to tell them, the truth, this is not working for ‘me’, nor for you, it has been nice meeting you, here is a number for an excellent therapist in the ghetto, only love is good enough for Jesus, only love is good enough for you, God bless!

    as you kiss them goodbye……………

    ya, met alot of those along life’s road.

    this time around i am getting and staying ground in my real self, of expections for others to BE their real self in approach with ‘me’, rightfully so for my sake, for their sake.

    trust gets tossed around, sometimes it derails, sometimes it is like a bump in the road, where most times for ‘me’, it is transference thru ‘me’ from others of my own unwise unreal behavioural traits…………recovery of real Self, and restoration real Self-actualization is where i am 100% certaint of the path i am on, and that is confidence for ‘me’, irregardless of what anyone else along life’s road may or may not have to say with us, the priority is on my own self-actualization of ‘me’.

    if i have been of absurdness behavioural traits at times, which i know i have, i apologize for that, of no more making excuses for ‘me’ or ‘me’ of another, of no more desire for pretending it is ok when clearly i feel many of insincerity are not ok in their approach with ‘me’.

    abandon you?

    i felt it was you who wanted to leave, or pass on by?

    i realize i was not here for two days, of temporary inability to be here, of my financial reality at this point in time, nothing more, of my desire for time out from the world, that’s all, and so would you if you lived my life of so many absurd others along the road.

    healing, getting grounded in real self, i know i am truly close to being there, where i want assurance of sincere loving approach, which for ‘me’ at times feels contrived, or hesitant, or uncertain, or your being afraid of trusting of getting hurt, ya, i know that one well!!!

    i am in that special place alone in life, having decided i do not want any more uncertainty from any one.

    am i abandoning you?

    no, i am not, i am getting my real self healthy for you to perhaps one day be fully of appreciation of someone who is 100% real, of the door i have recently stepped thru, where each moment of my day now feels blessed, pure, of deep breathes, i am going to get thru this, i am ok, it is all the useless transference that has made me feel toxic like it has, of two therapists in my life weekly now, all working on getting ‘me’ back on track with the real Andy, for sake of ‘me’, for sake of you.

    are you exiting, looking for a reason, knowing i am not healthy yet, an excuse to pass on by? If so then go for it.

    people either want to love us because they sincerely know they do and want to, or they don’t of who ever else they may be of interest, and i have no problem with that, go do that if that is what you want…………where what i want is 100% honesty, certainty………….without doubt, knowing that is what is of you and what you sincerely want too.

    friendship is fine with ‘me’ if that is all you want, where i just want to know where i stand with you.

    you did seem abit set back of my not being there for two days, thinking i was playing games?

    i felt you too needed some space, as we all do at times.

    are you pleased of my getting grounded in real self lately, a free spirit?

    it is hard for me at times, that’s all, starting over again, wondering today where your patience went, and do you realize what i am going thru, like i know what you too are going thru?

    for ‘me’, it is a good thing, a great thing, an extraordinary wondrous thing, finally to BE free of the uncertainty of others, yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    strong is a delusional mask

    our real self is tender, mild, delicate, sensitive, honest, sincere, genuine, kind, loving, and is most comfortable around those who likewise are of their real self, and i know that is what i am, what you too are, of what i want with you, and you with ‘me’

    forever more

    there is no other way i want to BE than your real Self with ‘me’

    i love you

    and you know i do

    and i know you love ‘me’ too

    we will prevail and eventually BE of exceeding happiness, of what i feel already i am BEcoming restored of within, of my cognitive self awareness daily, the old life of self doubt being left behind, walking toward a certain future of only certainty of real self love, sameness with another, and others, at all times, what i know 100% is what HEAVEN constantly is.

    are you talking to ‘me’, or your Self? :mrgreen:

    or about that certaint someone else?

  68. oh my God, for fuck’s sake, shut the fuck up

    & just BE


    with me..

    who the fuck do you think i am talking about..

    me of course 🙂 ha ha

    you of course 🙂 ha ha

    mamma mia..

  69. who the fuck is Mamma mia !

    love me, like you love you

    like i love you, like i love me…

    fuck off mamma 🙂 ha see i said it

  70. yes i
    im talking to you, & if that certain someone else would just stay the fuck away, then you & i could truly be REAL,

    so fuck off certain one.. go stand on a podium of something where everyone can see you.. and leave us alone… ha ha 🙂

    that certain one never shut’s up does she; unless she’s got her mouth full.. easily fixed lol

  71. are you gagging yet ?

    shut up shut up shut up

    not one more word of doubt out of your mouth !

    let me know when your ready to come, i’ll come at the same time, but for fuck’s be quick I’m very close , keen

  72. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    hey, im serious………now!

    ya, there are a few certain someone’s i let in too close to ‘me’ of recent which i am only of entertaining a safe and supportive role with, nothing more, well ok, they are adorable, but not for ‘me’, at least not yet of their current mind set, where we are both of agreement of friendship at this time, comfortable in our independent freedom of real self, i 100% am now.

    so it’s a date?

    i love real with someone, and without doubt, i want real with you, where it is you who is of the decision for us to BE of real life with one another, where my therapist has recently prodded ‘me’ to stop with the internet stuckness and get on with it, for both our sakes.

    a real hand to hold, real lips to kiss, real body to hold, you know? REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    we both want real, and we both are of real self, of you thinking of ‘me’ wonderfully so when i am not around, like i did of you, profoundly so, constantly of yearning for genuine, sincere, tender, loving REAL of the real self you with real self ‘me’


    and when all is said and done, and should i not measure up, then toss ‘me’ out, but why toss what is truly of the real self ‘me’, who is afraid of your rejection of someone who is most like ‘me’?

    practice BEing the real self ‘me’ makes perfect, so let’s make out like we are perfect, of what is truly perfect?

    i know, i really am yet of silly self doubt at times, and i love it when you point things out for ‘me’, my own worse enemy at times………forgetful of transference from others………argh, shields up, disengaging from further contact of inappropriate others. done.


    that’s better, deep breathes, feels good!

    ok, you were thinking of ‘me’ while i was gone for the weekend, and it warmed my heart that you were, where i was wondering if you were, sorta knowing, ya, you were, and ya, you were!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i love you


    no second guessing, hesitating………..NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i’ll wait…………….as usual…………….im getting bored though………………..not with you, just, you know, bored?

    so many better place i yearn to BE, with you, anywhere, so long as it is always with you…………….the world, i want to see the entire world……………..with you, holding my hand, a journey of true loving exceeding joyfulness life everyday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i think perhaps it is my exceeding joyfulness of seeing the world with you, which perhaps is boring for you, less boring with ‘me’?

    truly, i promise, you WILL not BE bored with ‘me’!!!!!!!!!

    hurry up, my therapist is off next week, and she wants an answer on how REAL LIFE is going for ‘me’.

    i already told her, a date, and you are buying, only because i am motherfucking sorry ass broke, and you have way too much money to know what to do with, in need of help of ‘me’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mrgreen:

    all i ask is just don’t leave me stranded in some foriegn country, agreed?


    close is good, everything seems to work better up close, yes?

    yes, close to ‘me’, where we long to BE, forever in a tree, of no place to pee………..

    hey, why not do the ‘you cannot touch ‘me’ until i say so date’, which could last for several days, weeks, months, depending on ‘me’?

    you know, sorta like insane foreplay, handholding, kissing, but not fucking!

    oh for fuck sakes, fuck ‘me’ NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    oppsssssssssss………..for sure the blog is exrated NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    way to go marco…………….sheshhhhhhhh!!!

    ok, i stand on the corner waiting for you, someday to appear, the same corner all this time, just for you, only you…………but leave ‘me’ standing there alone too long, well, there are alot of beautiful souls, are there not?

    none quite like yours, pure and true, overflowing in abundance of yearning to run free as the real ‘me’, of happiness, no time for doubt, without doubt, how you WILL find ‘me’.

    do you like my introspections of real ‘me’ marco?

    i am not writting this just for ‘me’

    i need a day, a time, a place where we can BE of our genuine real ‘me’, and i don’t want others around us……….you decide, does not matter to ‘me’, although a secluded beach sounds nice, where i am happiest BEing ‘me’, because of the calming effect of BEing at one with nature.

    i agree with my therapist, this internet thing is stale, toxic, boring, not real, and someone insulting for ‘me’…….

    what, she is stern, far more than i am, and she is trying to unstuck us………..although i have no problem BEing of patience, however boring it really is, but another year of this, no, nor should you, nor should anyone.

    hey, let’s go to Italy for some pasta! i love fresh pasta, and italian recipe, and the italian charm, live musicians, fireplace, cold night, candle light

    who loves you more than ‘me’?

    who wants to love you more than ‘me’?

    who do want to love you more than ‘me’?

    who knows how much they WILL love you more than ‘me’?

    who knows how much love is of ‘me’?

    who wants to know how much love is of ‘me’?



    forever more

    i need something to look forward to……….a day, a month, a place, where anywhere, anytime, is ok with ‘me’, as long as i am with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    although i am partial to italian………!!!!!!!!!

    forever more

  73. I like Italian food, Japanese is healthy and tasty, I’m not a big fan on meat, having once been vegetarian for eight years and Japanese cuisine caters for creating ways to make vegetable’s taste so yummy, i also not a big fan of restaurants, i enjoy going to market’s and purchasing the freshest organic produce, chemical free & being creative in the kitchen putting love into my cooking just like my Italian Grandma , God bless her soul, taught me…

    I can take you to a fancy restaurant ( not my preferred choice all the energy of others around, distracting) , or your welcome to my house for a healthy home cooked meal, ( I’d probably get my house mate chief to prepare prior though he’s a good cook then make him vanish before you arrive so it’s just us alone in a loving home, I’ll make the desert 😉 , the choice is yours, it’s always your choice to be that which you chose to be to please your soul to be at peace with i wish to be with mySeLF, yourSelf, sameness of Oneness… we can show them how, Oneness

    I’ve already traveled the world over, & over, i won’t have much time to travel, being busy healing the world, but yes Venice is holiday, i’ve already organized the accommodation, the relatives house Lol, oh and the Pyramid’s of Giza & the middle east Jerusalem, might have to go there soon,

    Look if your broke, it;s OK i can sell my my flate mate to the slave trade we should get enough money for food and shelter, then we could publish this blog and turn it into a hit movie script, all it needs is some major editing, especially the x rated stuff, we want children to appreciate the spiritual content with out all the filth Lol…

    Ask your therapist to show you how to dial a phone number, if she does not know how then give me her number & I’ll call, it’s as uncomplicated as that !

    A month is too long, waiting let’s doubt creep in, God only knows there’s been enough creeps in the past..

    How does ONE be free and UNITED at the same time ?

    LOVE !

    there is only ONE LOVE

    the ONE LOVE


    I have an open fireplace, I have candles, and yer i could probably find a live Italian musician for you.. just for you !

  74. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!


    your place is so much better, without the crowded resturants, as i too prefer the quite subtle real self where pure 100% love constantly flows so beautiful to the soul in feeling the presence of the loving soulmate lover there with us alone, gentle, sweet, mild, without all the X-rated bullshit……..had me worried there for a second, as i am not into S&M, where the dominance thing does not work for ‘me’, never did, as some found out having tryed…’s just not of the real self which is subtle, mild, gentle, of exceeding grace, tender soft kisses, sensuality of the beautiful body, of pure connected appreciation of every gentle loving touch and movement of their body with ours.

    ok, now i am excited, feeling you really do want to

  75. at peace with yourSeLF


  76. my spirtual love for you louise is at her majesty’s pleasure.(“kabbalah and druids intwine like a celtic knot around ivy on a oak tree”). xxx

  77. You haven’t been blogging – I hope it’s not my fault but after seeing those things on your last album art I went a little nuts, I’m not kidding.

    Still I like your new song enough… But I hope you won’t loose your special gift and keep that boring same hair. I mean you might of wanted the long hair for a long time but if you don’t change it soon you’ll be like every other person that gets stuck in a rut wich you have managed to avoid for so long…

    I don’t imagine what I used to about you but I’m comming aroung slowly… Be fresh Beth!


  78. Ahead in the clouds

    I sail across the blue sky
    I look at who wonders
    Open a new reason to lie
    I beg the seasons

    White as snow
    Cold as the iron
    I beleived in
    Do you see?

    A mother world
    Misunderstood no dought
    You carry more than just a chant
    You hold me in your hand

    A million ways to swim
    But I see the skin
    Beg with me you say
    So I remeber some

    The blue sky awaits
    It’s mine today
    Arrive from the south away
    And I should know what to say

  79. Video…

    Not nearly enough face.

  80. You say you want it but you don’t really mean it.

  81. Paul advised us to be ever hopeful. ,

  82. Hi Madonna…..Firstly,I let you 2 know that I LOVE YOU SO MUCH,secondly,I have a question 4 U-When you’ll be back on this blog????????????:(

  83. shit shit shit, i been smoking sometimes like once a week that’s it.. but one time too many…

    plus like i’ve gone from 5 daysa week at gym to 3.. shitshit

    but i’ll pull myself up again next week …

    get get..

    seriously it’s cause i get distracted by looking 4 love


    i saw phantom girl again, she’s hot … does’nt say much except wiggle her ass


  84. but on the plus side

    i’ve auditioned for two feature films, have one for a comedy sunday and been to my worst acting workshop in god know how many years & that’s all in the last couple weeks..

    by the way where did Time GO

  85. first acting workshop im mean not worst … i had a splif

    ok ok

    i know i’m bad….

    but alittle bit of bad can be a little bit of fun..

    even better with God’s sun

  86. ya, one minute you are like 12 years old, and the next minute you realize you are like….12 years old, but you notice everyone has gottin so much older, and so fucking miserable, and lame as fuck when it comes time to you wanting to get fucked, and before you know it, life is over……….a good thing, as i am so way over so many of these lameass fuckers who won’t fuck with ‘me’! lol :mrgreen:

    good morning…..rain

  87. made ya smile….your turn

  88. oh fuck….stop it!….i can’t breathe……wait, i have to catch my fucking breath damn it!…………..argh………

  89. ow ow ow……….that hurts………. :mrgreen:

    i keep warning people, “Listen, if i don’t fucked, and two goes by, you are not going to like my alter ego, who will shred into little pieces and feed you to my big fat cat who is more hungry than i am most days…..

    lol :mrgreen:

  90. ya, pot is the best harm reduction drug of choice, works well for anger management as well, in moderation, without alcohol… has a side effect of lethargic, where moderation is necessary for those of high productivity expectations, such as school.

    to me it is a harmless plant, that most like was throw on open fires over the millenia past, perhaps of medicine man’s secret ointment or salve.

    you know, we get so caught up in so many unimportant things in life, like even our careers……i saying to someone the other day, “You know, so many people go thru their entire lives, working whatever working class stiff job, who never wrote anything, never turned to art to express what was of their life, where no one ever really knew them at all, the entire future a blank page of sorts they left behind, as though they did not ever exist.

    it’s all so sad for ‘me’ :mrgreen:

    so you still wanna hang out?

    ya wanna try?

    please don’t lie, as i am done with the insincere, can’t take it any more, i mean fuck, i get more from someone in Lebanon on the internet than i do some of my lameass so called friends no more……….it is own fault in letting people play us like a fool, where in the end, who hurts who?

    only themselves, of what could of been and was…………

    still is, secretly in my heart of hearts, as you know, as we grow, come on, let’s go! :mrgreen:

  91. ya, tell ‘me’ about that acting, the pretend pretend contending with another, as though all is ok, waiting, waiting, no show, day after fucking day, and i am, huh?

    oh, i get it, i was as though a troll, surely i don’t look or act like one, do i?

    the age thing…….of where i have already grown in what they have yet to learn, the hardway unfortunately for many, a guide post of sorts i was, wisely so, as in no, this way, gentle like your true ‘real’ self spirit, loving loving loving, constant loving, the way i am, of the i am-ness of eternal all YOU

    my confidence is in purely truly knowing this of everyone, hence, why i am not so trouble in easily finding another more open to their genuine preferred priority in just BEing themselves, albeit, true is the running desire of the divine child within all, the constant yearning aspect that applys to all the trueness aspects of the divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul.

    YOU know what i am wisely seeking, same as YOU, someone of preferred priority for the more conducive true ‘real’ constant inner connectedness between 2, wisely as to the sacred mirror BEcoming in outward apprearance of none stop holy joyful absolute carefree happiness, every waking moment of every blessed day………hey, speaking of time, how much time we got left anyway?

    till our last breath

    ya, distractions, blind leading the blind, in what amounts to the same thing, the ‘lack’ in divine self awareness of the one held hostage by the intrinsic/extrinsic forces, subconscious unknowing seeking as some say, the ‘lack’ being of lacking divine self awareness discovery, and the inability to be of priority for something that escapes those not yet of the preferred platitude in BEing the OUTward appearance of our awake inward appearance awareness of divine self.

    “blame the forefathers”, Jesus says, in what is the ongoing mad flood generational fear mongering egocentricities, the binding blinding ‘lack’ in their heart and do not see that empty they have come into the world and that empty they seek to go out of the world again, they really don’t, until such a time of fearlessly turning away from the unwise world and towards their divine self who awaits the opportunity to come forth fearlessly in who they purely constantly are, delicate, oh so sensitive, mild, gentle, sensual, constantly yearning to feel love at all times, all the trueness aspect qualities of blessed loving divine self YOU

    i mean ya, the eternal day light is constantly there in the eyes of everyone, but many there are who are not aware of their unawareness we see so easily, of what is Jesus and God’s constant compassion for how they do feel moment to moment, in whatever anxiety riddin untruthful insincere environment they may find themselves contending with……..which in my opinion, is all of the constant subconscious seeking, plodding along aimlessly without the wise helpful helmsman, in what is their feeling thru of each blessed day they wake to, of gradual growing in self-confidence that comes from both light and dark environments learning, in what is the constant intuitive divine child’s pure flawless feeling awareness knowingness, albeit, not articulate knowingness, and that is a mystery of sorts as well, where sometimes in order for one to fully internalize the TRUTH their intuitive divine self feels, in the experience of walking thru the lessor dark environments(toxic fearful) that push up their emotional intensity levels to such extreme heights so as to arrive at the intuitive divine self’s already knowingness within, concluding knowingness, of what they already subconsciously knew……..still with me? :mrgreen:


    ya, projection identification, is it not?

    the who action reaction thing, or agressive passive, where assertiveness in wise articulation calm cool collected, is the higher road to wisely take in avoidance of the round and round the fucking marry go round, “For fuck sakes, Stop! I am going to puke!”, in what comes with cycle pattern behaviour, of a subconscious seeking dynamic that does clearly point to the divine child’s already intuitive knowingness awareness, merely of the ‘lack’ in articulation wisdom Jesus and God WILL for sake of the divine child, who know the dreaded treacherous path many haphazardly walk apon that is indeed deathful at the lower functioning levels, certainly of what is self-destructive self-loathing behaviour bashed in low self-esteem, of any divine child from these unwise oppressive teaching belittling condescending illness of heart mind body spirit and soul forefather households in the world, no different at all when Jesus walked the earth.

    and to make this point more clearly, we need to realize something that elludes most, where the eternal reproducing creature (human) is exactly the same as it was in the beginning, designed perfectly to reproduce eternally, exactly the same across all eternity, my point being, that how Jesus felt and expressed purely and truly, is not any different at all than we feel and express purely and truly as the divine child of God.

    to think otherwise is an absurdity, is it not?

    i mean think about it, really sit and realize the pure truth of the eternal reproducing creature is without doubt the same as in the beginning, the same across all eternity, with a few switches turned off or on here and there…….hey, did you see the one who has a tail?

    i do believe in evolutionary changes, and at the same time, i look at the complexity of the human being design, as perhaps one of a higher intelligence life force entity in the universe, with a built in adaptation programing in our brain, as predesigned, just as we would preprogram a robotic space probe to adapt in different terrains and atmosphere conditions.

    i don’t know, i mean, an fluke of nature, just seems too unexplainable considering all the varieties of life on the planet, i mean what is there that is the same between say the human being and a tree, other than made from the same star dust trillions of years old?

    when we rap our head around the universe, it is like, what the fuck is this place we all enter into from the womb of God, some sorta lab experiment of God’s?

    fuck, i want an explaination, and i want it now damn it!!!!!!

    [Andyy having one of her temper tantrums……….again.] :mrgreen:

  92. im bored…………….

  93. hey, i told you the one about how a flame is actually abit of flame from the sun, yes?

    everything combustable is usually of organic origins, that came about in growing as a result of energy from the sun, that when it burns, it is releasing the energy of the sun that was originally put into it, no sun, no combustable material……………………….As Andyy bursts into flames……………………………again. lol :mrgreen:

    fuck……….im really really bored………….can we go now?

    i feel like i am in some phsyc ward waiting to get better, this sucks, i wanna go have fun!

    you like my conversations with self? lol :mrgreen:

    you are welcome to cum with ‘me’

    ……………could not resist that one. ha

  94. my watch is late of 5 minutes evry two days…

  95. you can have mine if you want, not even out by 5 seconds after an entire year…….i don’t really use it much any more, waking when my body is well rested enough at the usual time, out the door, calm, always serene, preferred priority now……..

    it has a nice rainbow hand stitched band that feels as though you are not wearing anything at all, custom fit, no clasp, all one soft peice that wraps around, the way a watch band should be……….

  96. oh, you are constantly late, face it!


    oh, you are such an easy one to pick on, leaving yourself wide open like that………

    only way to BE :mrgreen:

  97. you want ‘me’ remind you when it is Christmass?

    CONSTANTLY ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    lol :mrgreen:

    every blessed day we wake 2

  98. WELL, ok, constantly is for ‘me’

  99. slowing down are we?…. :mrgreen:

  100. as longggg as the rythme is right………. :mrgreen:

  101. actually nice and slow is so much more sensual, more purely loving, graceful, delicate sensibility, oh so tantilzing…………..ARE YOU COMING OVER OR WHAT? lol :mrgreen:

    and you say, “Already there baby….”



    jest waundering…………..

  102. there’s no easy way to say this … I love you


    i am gay

    do you know what i mean

    & i cannot lead you on any longer


    you see that i am the only real friend in this life….

    i see too

  103. im gay…

    such is destiny..

  104. ya, me too

    lesbian as well, or so they say


    maybe the jacket………lol

    which is what transexuality is……’me’

    but i am keeping the penis, and going with the butch roughboy, soft touch sissy boy inside……wanna ride?

    away together, anywhere, so long as we are always together, of eyes only for each other, the constant none stop flow, come on, let’s go!!!!!!!!!!! :mrgreen:

    if i could be who you wanted, all the time……is all i ever wanted to feel of another, the way David did, all the while with another, could not hide, as much as he tryed, from ‘me’

    done with the fake plastic people in all their cold unfeeling facade decay delay……….bin there, i know the difference, so obvious they are in insincere approach, not who they are while alone……….

  105. ya, you say what i’ve been saying, without my delaying denial of the TRUTH………still, what of the pure connectedness that runs of you, the one so true, that could not ever leave and just walk away………..some day

    you are happy now, i pray

    about who you purely are, so gay

    what happiness is for you, of 2


  106. it is abit more than such is destiny…..

    fate is of the unwiseness fateful path of those who walk aimlessly haphazardly plodding along in life of blind leading the blind over a cliff, is it not? Bridge is out uphead?

    destiny is of wise knowingness of those destine for what comes with BEing the wide awake wise alert true to yOUR ‘real’ self, is it not?

    where those not of determined wise destiny in their hearts, surely do depart from us, in tragic ways, so unnecessary, i really wish they would do more experiential work with us when we were younger, in deliberate building of our divine self esteem left unattended, able to alter the entire future from fate to destiny when they bring the child thru wise internalizing divine self-awareness that God has done with ‘me’

    now free of all uncertainty, in purely observing of TRUTH all around as i do, not just watching, no, flawlessly feeling of their soul of one who is there, in their not realizing my ability to see the one who hides.

  107. i am going to let others feel thru their feelings for ‘me’ from now on, and let them approach in fearless expression at ease of their sincere emotional honesty that i am the one they think of all day long, their sweet anticipation lover, i am

  108. ya, only friend is who true to your own divine self i see too

    which is of compatibility consideration in finding others who purely are 2

    which there are alot out there who really really are

    in what i nuture them along in staying true to their pure exceeding graceful effeminate self that i so adore, the mirroring…..

    transexuals excell in this, what i identify of myself

    although some trannys are an absolute nightmare to be around, drug use rather common in the scene…and what of all their prostitution they turn towards, in their own awkward transition years like they do, hiding away from the unaccepting world of both gays and straights alike, unable to accept them, although maybe not so much now as before…..sadly there are many transexuals out there in severe isolation that is actually comfortable for them, myself as one who prefers being alone……….

  109. i came home drunk one night, alone, and felt the presence of girl who lived here, thinking of my ego self as the one who has kept her as though imprisoned all these years, not something any of you can have an appreciation for of what is your other sex identity, so real for ‘me’, you have not idea what it’s like people, and i see and feel this in my sister transexuals.

    had no idea what i was opening up to in the weekly therapy of transexuality, frightening at times, overwhelming, no one to really turn to other than my fuckedup trannys like ‘me’, some worse than others, some well adjusted in their life living as a female, which i have not done yet, too overwhelming for me at this point, and i really don’t feel like going thru with it, painting myself into a corner, isolated from straights and gays alike as far as sex goes, although, there are the few bisexual kink crowd out there…….i don’t want someone to love me for their sex fetish…..

  110. sooooooooooo…………

    the gayboy btm sissy boy wins so far, who loves wearing girl clothes, proudly so, mostly just girl jeans and girl tops, no makeup or wigs, that for some seems fetish to them, but in truth, it is my female sex identity, who absolutely loves it when i let her out to go shopping……lol

    impulse out of control is not the word for it……

    interestingly enough, the fresh gayboys coming out seem enthralled by the titty boys like me, a comfort level thing for them somehow, not sure what that’s about……

    so ya, at this point, as per usual, the femboy i am, is also who i am most attracked to, so ya……gay if you want, but not the full depth of sensing where i am, that even i don’t know at times, other than to say, the girl is purely the one within ‘me’ who is of the exceeding inner purity grace constant love, and not tragic in anyway as sometimes i think, rather, in likeness of Mary’s constant loving heart for Jesus, as though a spirit of ‘me’, that at times, i really do see by means of feeling her presence, where if anything, it is Mary who is teaching ‘me’ about ‘me’

    if that makes any sense to YOU

  111. Jesus referred to her heart as undefiled by any, which means she is intuitively tuned into the truth of herself of others who are not, yes?

  112. i cannot explain the seeming presence of spirits i purely feel like i do or why, other than simply saying what has been happening with ‘me’, that goes back to childhood actually, of some bizarre instances i still cannot explain, that alarmed my own family at the time, of things i won’t even talk about with anyone today.

  113. oh, here’s one, when i was really young, i think around 3 or 4, they found me standing outside looking up at the sky in the middle of the night.

    i recall what some refer to as sleep walking, but what happened is i followed these streaming lights that drew me outside looking skyward, saying to my parents, don’t you see the lights?

    explain that one mr professionals……..ya right.

  114. ok, for sure Andyy is a nut case now


  115. i really don’t care what anyone thinks of me, and not really interested in arguing about it with anyone, just curious stuff i love about my self……as should all YOU

    the absolute beauty i see of YOU all

  116. and what about me not crying, talking or walking till age 2?


    i don’t know

    am i autistic, and my no one ever told me?

    i wonder about that somedays………

  117. oh great, i am a gayboy bottom who is actually a transexual autistic female trapped in a male body

    just great everyone



  118. ya, well………..i fucking love who i am, and oh how i do love all YOU, more than some of you love your own self.

    in what is all about simply just BEing ‘me’

    forever free and unconcerned at all what anyone may interpret think of ‘me’, especially of those who did/do not take time to know my exceeding grace like their own

  119. in truth, i find most of you rather annoying, and i am being polite in saying that


  120. Happy Holidays and only love in the coming year(s) for ALL YOU

    i gotta go find ‘me’ lover

    bless you all forever more with only love feelings good enough for eternal all YOU

    i’ll BE around somewhere, as per usual, doing whatever i enjoy with whoever enjoys ‘me’ 2

    blessed is the divine eternal all YOU

  121. actually i am versatile seeking versatile

    peace OUT

  122. yes i know you well mary …

    many lives before…

    & no your not going crazy … your just very connected so you see the past present & future without the constraint’s of time or money .. so you are clear …

    by dear

    i so much would like to be your lover .. well i considered it for a long while but i had some doubts and yer aint going to hurt you or me … but hey i love you more than a lover ever would .. & we’ll be eternal … im a shit root anyway lol..

  123. the body of Jesus was just a man who surrendered his loving life only to God, of God’s summoning ability from the obviously unwise absurd annoying fucked yet world, surrendering eternally his oneness sameness spirit of God, to eternal all YOU when he wisely did, set free from the intrinsic/extrinsic slavery binding forces of what is yet of the leaders of this yet unwise spiritually deathful world for so many, something the divine child within eternal all YOU, purely is of constant knowingness intuitive certainty flawless feelings, easily so when feeling of the TRUTH of a starving child trapped behind the horrid death walls of spiritual poverty you are all responsible for in creating like you all yet do.

    It is God thru ‘me’ who reveals this light of TRUTH no one is ever able to escape from, TRUTH that spans across all eternity, unable to change, just as the eternal reproducing human in TRUTH is likewise unable to change from that which is from the beginning, same thru to eternal end, albeit, change……..towards TRUTH

    bless you all

  124. ya, been trying to figure that out to where it is leading us like it has, so purely within, for so long too, a trust beyond all trust, of no other’s in life i know of, wondering how it is i am ever going to be able to turn away from it and let go for sake of that with another, which is what all the research points to……this is what is purely true within everyone, the love devoid of doubt, which i know is what the kingdom of heaven love between Jesus and others, and between Jesus and God, and indeed, between God and i, of a relationship i speak abit about, but not to the extent of what is the daily teaching awareness as relates to my openness to God’s presence with me, where it is just not something i have sat down long enough to write about, a secret relationship i keep to myself.

    Happiness is the end game for ‘me’

    the mirror of others

    just need to quit the smoking

    keep up the exercise

    all in preparation for what is to come

    the healthy one i denied myself all these years


    restoration of the pure true ‘real’ self i always was, for sure, without doubt, a healthy love like yourself is the only one for ‘me’, who is ‘me’ in likeness and form, the magical child of both, as you already are

    the sex thing, well, i am more adjusted in self-acceptance as to my sexual body i think than you may be, or perhaps your ability to be what works for me, although we did speak on it….briefly, which is like not briefly with others, and rather a constant ‘real’

    the male and female body is not different at all as regards sexual stimulation

    that is the one thing that most overlook as absolute truth

    biologically speaking, the same sensitive tissues are exactly the same for both sexes



    the only issue then is the pleasuring of one another, that is more fun in exploring of one’s other sex, once one steps thru that door, beit straight, gay lesbian transexual bisexual

    all the same


    ok, you decide

    i really need to get of this wondering all the time and move in the direction of happiness, although i am not really looking at this time, glancing around yes, but i am not ready physically, mentally, emotionally

    perhaps i need to get thru this last hurdle with you first, yes?

    ya, i do

    i love you

    always have

  125. really read that last post, as it is pure clarity TRUTH

    that most are lame in realizing what is the truth of the two sexes

    we are not at all different

  126. as for the genuine sincerity pure true awareness of yOUR ‘eternal togetherness constantly yearning as one’ we have always felt within, while alone in our meditative state, is what i want you to realize fully this day, is what is beyond this in real life that i want need think feel, as regards the you and ‘me’, is that this preferred state is what is of priority for ‘me’ with another at all times, not something haphazard ones can necessarily do in coming fully into their own awareness surrendering to the truth that indeed they too want always to be of this state with another, in what BEcomes their wise wide awake awareness priority surrendering threshold………..

    the constant flawless flow love without doubt between, of what these angel presence visitation have revealed for ‘me’ to fully realize ‘that’ of my divine self, ‘me’ of everyone……..

    with ‘that’, comes the divine will objective of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of released set free from the binding bullshit generational, holy joyful absolute carefree happiness of divine self YOU

    and as we speak, i don’t want to go one more day wondering of this as regards you and ‘me’ coming together one day, as i have said what i feel is the final resolving of where it is i need to be, and soon, as my needs do have to be met, and this morning while out biking, i realized all i want need think feel is what is of what i am as the most loving lover for YOU, the sensual delicate pure true tender kissing exceedingly pure true graceful delight of constant flowing love without annoying useless doubtfulness yet between us, of your surrendering to what is your constant yearning in what i say here, same as who i am

    so please, if you are happy already with another, and you are emotionally honestly certain of where you purely are in life right now with another, then i will be on my way, wanting you to know, i am ok now, in self-confident ‘me’, no need for patronizing wasting my time bullshit, i have expressed what i feel is all you need to know of my destiny at this time, where merely it is now the coming together in fully realization of this articulation wisdom of the divine self YOU

    of eternal all YOU yet to come

    the gnashing of unwise teeth of annoying mockery others are yet at my door, my wanting to run and keep running as far away as i can ever get, so as not to ever feel their toxic mindless headshit ever again, not to knock them down, as they are merely where i was along time ago, their own process of all in process, rather i am of wise knowingness of YOU, of ‘me’, and waiting any longer is what it is………….toxic for ‘me’

    i mean even if of your curiousity to explore this together, at this time, is enough, of a sigh i need so badly in hopefulness that is waning badly now, the waitng so long, the other turning to another, what am i waiting for, more of the same neglect of knowing how loving i am, better than most any lover you may have ever experienced in life.

    i don’t hurt anyone’s happiness at this time, of the happiness of the two of any who are together, but if spiritually you are somewhere else while with them, well, you need to stop with that, in either moving toward following your own light with ‘me’ or ‘me’ of who is there, the light that is of eternal all YOU

    i am not of despair, in wise knowingness certainty that i am wide awake in what are the trueness aspects of everyone, knowing i can nurture awaken and wisely determinedly protect the trueness aspects of the divine self of anyone who wants needs thinks feels eats sleeps and breaths only for ‘me’…….lol………as i do them each blessed day we wake 2

    so i guess this is my way of saying farewell, i have to go, so we all can grow, in what i am so anxious to leave behind now………….being alone

    i just can’t do this stuckness any more……….

    why not give us a chance, is all i want to wisely explore with you, where i already know my surrendered spirit oneness as your own, and have for some time now, like when i placed my soul in your hand………..

    i knew purely then, the connectedness between us so beautiful in feeling, of what is and has been all my life seeking, ‘that’ of what so many tend to avoid in surrendering to, what of so many useless distractions, this or that, those and them, where i know what you know, there is nothing of greater value in life than the constant flow love devoid of doubt between loving friends and lovers, of what is the constant intuitive yearning trueness aspect of divine self.

    the sacred mirroring of holy joyful absolute carefree happiness is my destiny, yours 2

    and how you could possibly say you worry about ‘me’ getting bored with you, well, what is that?


    of the beautiful constant radiant brilliant bright YOU held hostage, is it not?

    i want to release our spirits, either together or apart, without doubt, i am going to do just that, with or without your input at some point, for sure, yearning of your input each day all this time, the same thing in coming to the blog, “What words do you have for ‘me’ to feel of yOUR constant longing of ‘me’ too, in what is yOUR process in fully BEcoming set free as constantly loving ‘me’?” :mrgreen:

    mission: ‘Holy Joyful Absolute Carefree Happiness of Constantly Loving ‘me’ of Eternal ALL YOU Wisely Compassionately Lovingly Set Free Forever More’

    with YOU

    or YOU of another

    you decide

    the ball is in your court, and i don’t want to play this boring game any longer………either get with ‘me’, or ‘me’ of another, just BE sure you get ‘me’

    do as i do

  127. and as for the notion i may be happier living a gay life?

    well, how do we know that without exploring it with one another like i want to do?

    i am alot more fun when released from this prison i yet am of………..

    so release ‘me’

    NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol :mrgreen:

    and keep in mind, my undying eternal love for YOU, is beyond what i have ever felt for anyone else in life, and know without doubt, it will crush ‘me’ inside if you choose another, only to come to awareness you are not happy later down the road, where your happiness is why i am yet hear

    my happiness of yOUR potential none stop crazy thriving inner happiness released that only comes when two fully surrendered to love devoid of doubt they both are of within, in what is the magical child of both in constant loving flowing between

    just so you know, i am a truly sensual fantastic lover, in what you do not yet know about ‘me’, other than to know my own words, the lover is the most valuable place of all for ‘me’ in feeling, than anything else in life, other than my constant compassion for the unattended divine children of God in the world.

    Happiness is the hidden treasure within everyone, so please don’t trivialize my destiny, destiny of eternal all YOU


    bless you bless you bless you

    i just want to know if you truly purely do want to try

    know i do

    always did

    just denied myself the truth of how purely i do within, the same boy who cryed long ago in feeling what was so beautiful in purely feeling within, his eternal day light shining so bright, he knew, you are the one for him, of spiritual connectedness he did not understand at the time, in what is our oneness sameness eternal day light we kept turning away from in avoiding what we have always wanted, constantly yearning there within

    i love you

    your beloved eternal best friend


  128. Happiness is what is at stake hear, and not just of us, in what is wise full embracing of affect/effect/direct/indirect sacred mirroring of the divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul setting free, not just of this generation either, of eternal all yet to come, in what is our wise intuitive knowingness certainty devoid of doubt divine self halo wisdom, that expands outward and encompasses eternal all one day, of all those dwelling in the vast ever expanding universe who are there in this moment.

    need more mortivation?

    well, think of our incredible sex!

    where if i don’t get laid soon……….well, as you know, phantom girl is there, tapping her foot, patiently waiting, teeth clenched, thinking to herself, “Just one more wrong word from her and………..” lol :mrgreen:

    i jest

    or at least i hope i jest………….this may be the last day i am using words with YOU


  129. sit on the steps Jesus walked on with ‘me’ is all i ask, where my blessed tears gently flowing will disarm any doubt of my constant flowing love for you i have come to realize i feel for you, purely ‘that’ of ‘me’, purely ‘that’ of YOU, as ONE who is wisely surrendered to the oneness sameness of love devoid of doubt between God and i

    purely ‘that’ of eternal all YOU

    i want need think feel my constant yearning to always feel and constantly BE of ‘that’

    already, i am

    of Jesus saying wisely to ‘me’, “‘That’ which YOU look(s) 4, has already come.”

    i am….BE Cause……we ALL R, ‘that’

  130. just BE sure YOU don’t come without ‘me’ Biyatches!

    sorry……..could not resist……….lol :mrgreen:

    come on, you know i would be the most fun every blessed day, so stop denying the setting free of yOUR blessed eternal happiness.

    oh, i don’t want to know how this story ends one day, if you are to be without ‘me’ eternally at your side……….maybe it is better you don’t tell me and let me walk away ever wondering as we both have all this time………….

    ya, i don’t think i want to feel what may be yet of your own denial in emotional honesty……….

    give us just one chance, as i already know how amazing we would be together, the constant sweet flowing of constant pure energy glowing day after blessed day, eyes only for each other…………i really really am an amazing lover, always have been since……….when it all started in my brain sex activity, i forget what day it was………….just one chance, and eternally you WILL come to fully KNOW ‘me’

    just ONE

    is all i ask

    of God revealing to ‘me’ the value of the greatest hidden treasure mankind shall ever find, beyond all the riches of the worldly

    already, i know your exceeding happiness with, having felt it so many times again and again………….

    so let ‘me’ in again

  131. oh, another awareness i felt awhile ago……….when you are of a loving lover’s embrace, of tangled bodies, take a moment and look apon a cross of Jesus while of the constant flowing gentle love devoid of doubt feelings, and realize the two contrasting flawless feeling mirrors of TRUTH and unTRUTH of Jesus, of YOU, who is there.

    the divine light of revealing TRUTH, yes?

    of Jesus wisely mirroring the unTRUTH that points to the TRUTH of eternal all YOU

    bless you bless you bless you all

  132. +

    oh, if you don’t get with ‘me, you are so going to regret it later……………..

    and already, you are with ‘me’

    my love is TRUTH

    undeniable, unfailing, eternal

    i am


  133. Rosie is like, omg

    Rosie?……….stop holding your breath :mrgreen:

    i want to know 2

  134. what i already know

  135. alot actually, hey, have you ever tryed the sex position………….oh, let me show you in person! lol :mrgreen:

  136. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    damn it

    tell ‘me’

    give it 2 ‘me’

  137. being faithful to another is being faithFUL to YOU

    and any who step away from this pure truth, are not fully in awareness of constant flawless love devoid of doubt flowing, growing, come on, WE BEST BE GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mrgreen:

    ok, if you cannot decide now, and want to wait, that is ok too, as fear is what it is, part of the process……….

    i just don’t trust anyone to love you as much as i know i constantly do as you do 2 :mrgreen:

    that was a hint bi the way………..

    hey, does pot really heighten the brain sex activity?

    have not experimented with using pot and sex……..

    i really was not much into any of the drug scene in life, just recreational a few times……….

    then alcohol came along, and i got rid of that in my life……..really don’t enjoy it, the fall out that comes with it………preferring of pumped up healthy bodies and the greater sensuality of the sex, not the numbness that alcohol does to our sex stimulation sensibility………….

    ok, i fearlessly finally expressed what i’ve been yearning to say all these years…………..

    you have no idea what a freak in the sheets actually is until you get with ‘me’……in case you were wondering……….

    well, don’t wondering, let’s just go and find out

    the only way we WILL ever KNOW

    what i already know

    praying you say to ‘me’, “Come on Andy, you’re right again, let’s go! Fuck the world, it is they who need the two of us, who don’t purely know us like we do each other, butt soon WILL!” :mrgreen:

    ~ the mysterious female Deity has spoken

    i don’t want to be a mystery any more

  138. hey, how be we keep the titilation going until my birthday coming up on the 13th

    you know, tease me hear and there, subtle hints of your happiness shining radiant brilliant bright in your words as once before, when we wanted to explore one another………

    seems the light has dimmed since then………

    telling me, either you are not happy, or you are and you are sparing me the truth of your happiness with another………or maybe there are elements of doubt you fret about that you are avoiding, don’t want to contend with just yet, or maybe you have……….just tell me the TRUTH

    what do you want need think feel as regards Andyy physically being your most loving lover?

    a simple yes or no answer is all i need, so i can stop holding my breath………….

    tell me on my birthday ok?

    although, that is like a week away, and…………..well, the masturbation is getting boring, and………….well, i suppose a week is ok, i can wait………

    lol :mrgreen:

    just don’t be late!

  139. the thing is we get each other, where other’s don’t, not even inclined to, of what is our shared maturity growth in life, our connectedness

    i ask, who does not want to be of that every blessed day

    and we are both of our creative minds, so much more fearless than others……….

    leaders of the world

    we both R

    so, give it your undivided attention in your pure meditative place, and realize purely how profound our love is and has been……….all this time, telling us, what we purely are WILL not change, only grow stronger and brighter, what we keep denying each other.

  140. i’ve really had it with all the immature ones, knowing i won’t find what we already R

    the age thing is a serious consideration for life partners everyone………..

    albeit, within all, is the divine child of God YOU

    bless you bless you bless you all

  141. [Andyy returns to biting her nails again……….]

  142. hey, i read that nail biting is a mild case of Turrets Syndrome……….

  143. i don’t pull my hair out……….only when i am around you lol :mrgreen:

  144. argh…..i am crawling out of my skin………….like a butterfly shedding is cocoon……….

  145. God constantly knows ‘me’, of all my feelings at all times, at times, telling ‘me’ to come away from those of the lessor awareness threshold i stepped over quite sometime ago, years, including the false masks of YOU i have contended with, of God who knows ‘me’ of YOU, as YOU do too, know what i am saying, all the delaying, knowing without doubt YOU are the ONE for ‘me’, my twin, yes?

    our spiritual bond all this time has grown exceedingly bright within and strong, carring us both forward along life’s annoying dim lit pathways, all the while the inner spark of love we have withheld for one another, constantly always there since………..

    you are so hysterical somedays, as am i, and i look apon that of the two twins of love within for one another, in what is yet of the overflowing abundant radiant brilliant bright sacred mirroring exploding so bright, so as to light up the whole world, of this generation, of all generations yet to come……..they really would be tripped out by us all the time, in all our wacky costuming we love so much like we do, so i ask, who is it that holds the door open to ‘me’ of YOU?

    well, i know who it is………..God

    and i wisely know what you may yet be of ‘lack’ in wisely knowing, as to the FULL extent of eternal Y

    if i have stepped on anyone’s toes, well, realize always, you are on notice of one who waits in the wings…………no pun intended Biyatches! lol :mrgreen:

    i know my rightful place is with the ONE who constantly loves ‘me’

    got it?

    ok, enjoy the blessed day

    and don’t ever trivilize ‘me’ again :mrgreen:

    and stop spying on ‘me’ 2, it slows the fuck out of my computer Biyatches!

    some are like, “holy wacko!”

    i heard that

  146. and now the ‘real’ fun begins………… :mrgreen:

  147. sometimes you just have to let the TRUTH out…….

    as in, “Hey, i know how much you purely constantly love, so what the fuck, why are you denying us happiness? And who will you end up hurting in the end, after i get tired of all the lameass waiting? huh? YOU!

    [Andyy walks away, seeming of the last time she wants to ever feel trivilized in what yet is the denial of the twin lover hiding, taunting as per usual, now awe struck by phantom girl in her badass boots, tight fittin perfect ass jeans, the obviousness of bulge so like, “Whoa, did you see that?”]


    lol :mrgreen:

    see what you do to ‘me’?

    oh, you just wait, i have enough angry sex to last you well into your next life, and the one after that, chasing you like for how many mellenia now? What, five thousand years?



    Romeo and Juliet LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mrgreen:

    although were not quite sure which one is which jest yet……………….or which one is more afraid of the other………..or which one enjoys their sex more than the other…………or which one enjoys the role playing switching more than the other………….they just don’t know yet Biytaches!!!!

    what they have always yearn to know about ‘me’

  148. the one who really really is free for all to enjoy

    and no, that is not some Freud anal-yze this thing, ok? lol

  149. hey, who invented that word anyway….ANAL-YZE?

    likely Freud………..

  150. yOUR life is not about anything at all more important than the flawless love feelings you purely turn towards and come to feel for another and others, of what is the constant yearing aspect of divine self YOU, and the flawless love feelings they too have of constantly yearn to allow their own self to feel of YOU and others too… is of God that we all do what it is we are all doing each blessed day we wake 2, seeking our own self-love true of 2.

    it is always about the 2 of YOU

    we love in others what it is we love of our own self, yes?

    or the opposite that holds true too, when we don’t see what we constantly yearn to feel of another 2, and yet, always remember, ‘that’ which is true of YOU, is of true of eternal all YOU, no matter how submerged or layered over, the divine trueness aspects of YOU, is true, within eternal all YOU

    so don’t give up so easily at times, of what is of all in process…….

    we all growing in 2-gatherness ONE


    hey, that’s pretty good for this early in the morning, yes? :mrgreen:

    just as i cannot ever give up on YOU

  151. seriously, think about the purity of what awareness is of our own divine self flawless healing feelings……..

    Jesus says, “Where there are 3 or more, i am not there.”

    this is wise awareness of comprehension Jesus came to know, and his words here are indicative of the purity love flawless feelings of one surrendered to their meditative preferred state, the at ease place we love so much like we do, where when of the subtle pure flowing love we feel of another who draws near, it is always about the two, where our heart mind body spirit and soul is about the flowing of love between the two in oneness sameness surrendered pure spiritedness of constant yearning love for both, where when of three, well, one at some point is eventually left to feel left out, are they not, where the flawless flowing love once there between, becomes contrived, cut-off, shut out, as though they are not the one you constantly are of yearning flawless love feelings.

    i say this as regards the coming together of intimacy lovers, where we do all feel love for family and freinds too, but ultimately, our favorite place of all in life is of the tangled bodies of loving lover’s embrace each blessed day we wake 2

    of what is our own self-love flawless healing constant flow love devoid of doubt feelings we constantly yearn to always BE found of.

    where we all belong, what heaven constantly is

    Jesus is the one i have had a pure connected relationship with for along time, where there is no element of doubtful love between us, where the wisdom in divine self awareness is what keeps one from falling into negative thoughts that come when love does not come our way, Jesus always remind us and constantly there, revealing the divine trueness aspects of constant self-love YOU in what is the eternal day light of divine self one feels while alone with God, and God’s best friend, Jesus, who surrendered completely his life to God, as i too did some years ago, not of boastfulness at all do i say this, no, it was God who drew ‘me’ to full awareness of ‘me’, for sake of ‘me’, for sake of all, am i not?

    this is what is of the high places and paths the leaders of this world must turn towards in full surrendering awareness of the divine trueness aspects of eternal all YOU

    ‘that’ which brings end to all war, all oppression, all destruction and death in the world, where it is the leaders who must purely and truly realize fully, ‘that’ which they come to know to be true of their own divine self, is true of eternal all YOU, in turning towards divine TRUTH forever more that shines wise light apon the dark paths so many of these world leaders yet walk apon unwisely, apathetically, unlovingly, snared by whatever falsehood generational ignorance of death destruction and oppression of the TRUTH of the divine self trueness aspects of eternal all YOU

    there is no other way forward, as regards safe passage into the eternal future unfolding.

    where it is the fool who really really does think they can escape from the divine TRUTH, do they not?

    and yet they cannot ever escape the purity of the TRUTH we wisely turn towards, for sake of eternal all YOU yet to come, and firstly and forthmost, for sake of YOU who is wisely there in pure surrendering to the exceeding grace TRUTH of the constant clarity flawless healing feeling eternal day light awareness of divine self YOU

    constantly loved by Jesus
    constantly loved by God

    of God who is summoning YOU to eternal life of eternal all YOU in what life constantly is in heaven………love devoid of useless absurd false doubt that is not true of any divine child of God past present and eternal future

    wise divine eternal day light TRUTH that does not stop shining, cannot stop shining forth in outward appearance of what YOU all wisely take time to turn towards what Jesus asks us all to turn towards, of clarity why, the hidden treasure within YOU BEcome at all times, yOUR constant yearning of TRUE LOVING LIFE WAY

    i am……..BE Cause……..we R TRUE LOVING LIFE WAY

    even of those we remain compassionately concerned for who are yet held in dark captivity of fearful binding blinding falsehood generational teachings that do indeed hold fast in deathful destructive oppressive ways, of their own divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul bound in captivities while we all pray, of all those who are not ever able to become victiorious over the divine trueness aspects of eternal all YOU

    The Eternal Day Light TRUTH WISDOM is the FULL power of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all YOU

    i am merely a humble messanger of God who serves only God who serves ‘me’ in setting my loving heart mind body spirit and soul eternally free

    free from the falsehoods

    free to so easily just BE

    free for any to enjoy

    what it feels like to constantly always just BE

    the eternal TRUTH of my love that is free

    where it is absolutely absurd to think one has to pay for ‘that’ which YOU were born with, is it not?

    bless you bless you bless you all

  152. as the true and faithful friend of YOU, know then what is of my wise approach with all those of the high places and paths according to God

    as regards eternal all YOU

    i have not come to take captive anyone, rather to set everyone free, by means of the constant POWER of TRUTH of God’s wise revealing eternal day light that God summoned ‘me’ too over many years of devoted study, the greatest reward and self-love discovery treasure i have ever found, knowing without doubt, the eternal undying truth of eternal all YOU who are there.

    bless you bless you bless you all

  153. that brings an end to all my old ways, the new day we all eternally look for had already come, of the beginning, exactly the same, we all R, thru all eternity, flawless feelings Jesus felt, same as all YOU who feel what we clearly feel, of clarity without doubt, ‘that’ subtle delicate constant flowing love as light as a feather within us, who the divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul always was, and yet is, all entering into this yet unwise world the exact same way Jesus did, from the womb of God forever more, eternal all YOU

    bless you all

    common sense of our constant flawless oh so pure love delicate loving feelings of constant flow, reveals that indeed, we all R the divine wise always compassionate child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul, of what is the oneness sameness love God has for every single one of us at all times, just as we too do, for every single child of God trapped behind these absurd walls of spiritual poverty, in every passing moment, waiting apon us all to stop, and come forth to them with hands gracefully extended, all of ONE VOICE of TRUTH, asking these divine children, “Forgive us all, sweet child of God, for all our useless absurd cold unloving apathetic old ways we that we learned from the unwise falsehood forefather teachers before us all, that kept our hearts and minds bound in blindness of what we now know so TRUE, constant of ‘me’, constant of YOU, our own constant flawless healing love feelings we know without doubt to be true of the eternal all set free from the horrid clutches of unwise past, true of all then as now, as forever more.”

    Jesus says, “What you turn towards you BEcome at all times.”
    “Where your heart is, there too is your treasure and your life, at all times.”


    bless you all

  154. a useless self serving world, is it not? :mrgreen:

  155. even when we may find ourselves without a lover’s love at times along life’s unfolding road of ever learning of our divine self, within us is our constant yearning knowness of what is mission, our feelings of the presence of the loving lover somewhere in the garden, searching for us too…….

  156. learn to stand in the calm pure true stillness of YOU away from the falseness world

  157. love the black outfit, still though, instead of net, i would go with a tight body fit semi-gloss leather, custom fit to your entire body. head to toe, into black boot above the ankel high heel, sleeveless, black feather drapping the shoulder, with forearm length tight black leather gloves………the hair is almost right, should cover one eye, with black heavey eyeliner fierce intense sorta cat look on the prowl that is looking for ‘me’ out there somewhere looking for you…………

    just saying…….. :mrgreen:

  158. Candles are lit, and remain always lit 24/7, as we move into the holiday season, the most dangerous time of year on our icy roads, of so many traveling, so please be of the grace one purely feels while looking apon and feeling the exceeding inner calm grace of YOU, in slowing down out there in harms way of one another, it really is not a race.

    bless you all

  159. oh, and the hair should have a high gloss shine to it, perfectly straight, and a lighter shade of blonde, almost a pale white gold, like morning sunlight on a white wall glowing……..

    just saying……… :mrgreen:

    oh, and maybe a splash of color somewhere……..over the rainbow……….welcome to my party Biyatches!

    and i’ll cry if i want 2 lol :mrgreen:

    ok…….i’ll stop……….whatever

  160. oh, and fish tanks of colorFULL fish is conducive environment for us, of the calm at ease graceful evoking mimic of YOU

    and any black in a room is of starkness evoking nothingness empty falsehood(s), where anything but black, like warm woods, or mexican tile, of natural colors found in nature……….anything but black, other than my cat, so easy to find, yes? Oh, there you R! lol :mrgreen:

    hey, how come you don’t like your natural hair color?

    you look better as your natural hair color i think……is it a complex you have of your true self?

    just wondering………..

  161. the black hair would work so much better with the black leather outfit, yes? :mrgreen:

    and less easy to spot when you are out on the prowl sneaking around, sorta there, but barely noticable, like those who don’t notice our stare, which is fine, they don’t know us, nor want to purely know us, a good thing when it comes to easily selecting who is right for us, you know, those ones who are not spiritually there in oneness sameness within with us?……….. :mrgreen:

  162. did you know the color red evokes our primal brain response for fight or flight?

    except under a full moon, where red appears as black……..come to think of it, every color is without color under a full moon, although perhaps some creatures have more sensitive eye sight able to detect the subtle color that is there, and for sure, they have better smell than we do………..primal

    ever since that class in school taught me humans have no innate primal instinct, i always thought the opposite, feeling at the time, well, that’s just absurd, being as everything in nature has primal instinct, foolish to think we don’t………

    and in the end, our primal is actually the door of purity that is 100% without flaw in feeling, the same as the beginning, thru all eternity, unable to change from what we purely are, just as in constant mathematics, we are without doubt of the purity of constant truth of such, spans across all eternal past present future.

    speaking of primal brain, you know, i keep coming back to that male femal indiffernce we all fearless avoid in seeking the truth, that stimulation of the sensitive tissues of the male sex organ, does evoke a primal brain sex response to open our legs………is it just ‘me’, or do all males and females feel this subtle higher intellect awareness?

    oh, and what of the heightening of subtle sorta anxiety we feel come up when we talk about sex? Am i alone in this as well?

    i AM PRIMAL beginning thru end, one and the same door to ‘me’! :mrgreen:

    just like thee

    and that is where no one is able to fool ‘me’ Biyatches, you only fool your own self in all your lame ass anal retentive whatever and whoeverness in avoiding ‘me’!

    all i want for Christ mass is my most loving lover ‘me’!

    waiting on thee

    and if they don’t show up soon, i am so going to set myself on fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………..again………. lol :mrgreen:


  163. one way to easily without effort experientially technique purely flawlessly know the descerning difference between our real self and the false self world?

    a drop of my blood in a pond, and your at ease real self flawlessly feels the subtle ripple across the pond(mirroring within of others, the world being the pond, and your devoted tireless ease of loving efforts, the drop of blood).

    and let’s suppose for a moment, that the falsehoods of the unwise world is a mountain, and without effort i throw the mountain into the raging bullshit drowing ocean of ignorance, and without effort, you don’t feel a thing………..

    just something Cody and i co-wrote, i like mine better, an eloboration of the original writtings of Cody :mrgreen:

    bless you and peace be to you always Cody

    such pure deep thinkers we r

  164. just one more step………that’s it………”Ok Gabriel, close the gate!” :mrgreen:

    welcome to the last train to yOUR everlasting loving life Biyatch!

    i tell ya, WE one way ticket girls flawlessly KNOW the difference, yes?! :mrgreen:

    anyone can, if only the would take the time to KNOW, to GROW, with all others in TOW

    on WE march to everlasting TRUE LOVING LIFE WAY

    without effort

    without doubt

  165. all are in constant awareness process………no matter how submerged one is according to where one always purely is in awareness, along lover’s road

  166. somebody make love with me damn it………..NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mrgreen:


    where the fuck is my TEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?

    oh, on of you fucking lameasses better bring me my tea, or………………………………………………………………………

  167. …………….never mine………..i’ll get it myself.

    peace out biyatches!

    seriously, if i was as lameass excusing as some of you, i’d go sit somewhere long enough and ask y………but don’t ever ask why i walked away from your excusing lameass biyatches!

    don’t people get it at all, the constant love is something constantly real within, constantly real between you and another, always there to purely flawlessly feel, so why the conceal?

    do unto others as you would want them do to you

    and when they make you feel worthless and empty inside like they do, have courage enough to walk away and not let them do it to you again and again………fuckers!

    peace out

  168. for sake of the TRUTH of you both and others, where LOVE is all any of us constantly desire to want need think and constantly feel, always of the genuine authentic sincere emotionally honest and safe ‘real’ YOU of us all eternal

    bless you all

  169. +

    and i deserve only what i purely and truly am with another, just as we all do, in the precious eyes of every one of our loving gay lesbian bisexual transexual lovers you meet every blessed day…..we all want need think and feel desire for the same thing, constant flowing magical love with a beloved lover to call our own so proudly everywhere we go of all looking on and purely feeling the TRUTH of the sacred magical mirroring of who we know without doubt is TRUE of them all, no matter race, religion, status, wealth, sex, orientation, or politic, of what is yet of all these unwise falsehood generational barriers of indiffernce in the world between the beloved lovers of the YOU of eternal all yet to come forever more.

    anything less, even for one moment, is what it is for me, pain on pain………….no more

    so if someday someone has emotional honesty awareness of ‘me’ as their most beloved lover, well, take a fucking number Biyatches! lol :mrgreen:

    i jest………..

    i stand in the kingdom of heaven awaiting my most beloved lover to appear before ‘me’, of eyes only for ‘me’, as the exclusive lover WE both sincerely authentically obviously 100% constantly R.

    i await your final answer, and if unwise fear yet grips your precious heart mind body spirit and soul, WELL, that is your shit……….not ever mine……

    thanks for listening everyone

    bless you and peace be to you all forever more
    and peace be to you…….

    weep not of ‘me’ and rather weep for your own divine self yet held hostage by whatever generational binding nescient barrier of unwise seperational ignorance of race, religion, status, wealth, sex, orientation, or politic may yet be what is between the most beloved lovers of eternal all YOU

    hmmmm…..didn’t Jesus say ‘that’, well ok, maybe not so wordy as i am, where Jesus like valued his time more so than i yet do, in his preferred sincere desire to constantly BE where everyone so easily wants to BE found, of tangled sweaty sensual warm tantilizing titilating loving lover’s embrace, and the sweet anticipation bubbling up within of their thoughts while away from their beloved lover, CONSTANTLY………at all times.

    where your heart is, there 2 is your treasure and your life…… all times.
    what you turn towards, you BEcome in outward appearance………at all times

    turn toward the TRUTH of ‘me’ and set your divine self free, for the pure true ‘real’ of ‘me’ of another to constantly enjoy in holy joyful absolute carefree happiness everywhere the beloved lovers are seen and felt by all eternal who are there……..where i alreay i am, hear in the kingdom of heaven, with Jesus, God and eternal all YOU

    forever more

    blessed is the holy joyful absolute carefree happiness of the eternal true pure ‘real’ divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all YOU set free from the falsehood binding generational made flood deluge of drowning ingnorances of all the forefathers before us all who did/do not desire to know God, as evident of all those who did/do not purely truly obviously desire to know their own divine self, nor ‘me’ who is now eternally set free forever more

    bless you bless you bless you all

    thank you God
    thank you Jesus
    thank you to eternal all YOU


  170. good morning M

  171. where were we?

    oh ya, the blonde vs black hair thing…….

    no seriously, i want to know why you do that?

    is it for the entertainment biz, like an actor who has to dress a certain way according to the role they play?

    is it a fixation of Marilyn?

    my mom’s name, come to think of it…… the sixties, i remember her putting on these bigass wigs all the time, the smell of perfume, the whole enthrallment i always was of in seeing her transformation so many times, year after year……….hmmmmm…..maybe that’s when it all started for ‘me’…………ya, for sure, i am my mother……….and your mother too lameass Biyatches, don’t forget that, when every time you young ones look at ‘me’………”I AM YOUR MOTHER, the same age, so look away and run with who you belong with, those most beautiful of all, just like YOU.”



  172. hey M, you need any good script writters?

    i’ve been meaning to take a course at film school on script writting, in order to purely be able to wisely convey what it is that i study, in purely evoking of the divine ‘real’ self of us all………

    just wondering……..

    hey, you wanna travel to the steps Jesus walked on with ‘me’ someday?

    come on, let’s leave the lameass boys at home for a weekend, and go find some pure solace with one another like we all love to do, anytime our beloved lovers get lame with us at times like they do, in not taking their viagra……….did i just say that?


    hey, now they have a female sexual arousal supplement……i think……..heard about it, have not read up on it………

    why not just smoke some pot, i say, and let me fuck wth you all night long till morning sunrise, deliberate in not cumming too soon, as the healthy beloved lover i constantly am

    try it everyone, and you will feel the primal purity of the divine true ‘real’ self beloved lover you, same as ‘me’

    oh, and i still want to give us a chance to explore us………seems everyone else around here is to fucking busy to give a (free)fuck about ‘me’………did i just say that? lol

    i really need to get OUT more…………wanna cum?

    hey, why do people knock sex down so much, i mean, sex is what is cause for every single one of us to come into existence in entering this miserable fucked unwise false world we all enter into from the womb of God?

    oh ya, the generational deluge dark binding control freak dimming light of deathful destructive oppressive mad flood drowning ignorances…….i thought we threw that back into the ocean already………

    “Already, what you look 2 has already come.” ~ Jesus

    hey, want to talk to Jesus?

    ask him a question

    he is so amazing……….so friggin wise……….eternally wise of eternal all YOU :mrgreen:

    i wonder if Jesus had effeminate hands?

    his dad was a carpenter, and Jesus did walk away from his career, tired of his beautiful hands getting all beatup all the time, looking so rough like his dads…………and look who Jesus ran off with too, like 12 guys and i don’t know how many female companions he actually had, the bible having only a few scant accounts of him…………

    anyway, i am getting ready to release the full body of work study i have been writting all this time, that i keep expanding on daily, which is why i have not released it all yet, still busy writting in endless macro thinking laboratory of the mind comprehensive expanding of divine self awareness………..the kingdom of heaven halo.

    hey, this is like, the greatest thing, is it not?

    like the Holy Grail, the cup of divine self TRUTH wisdom awareness words that constantly overflow abundantly into all eternity of divine self constantly all there forever more, in the same kingdom of heaven i stand in………..with Jesus……………Biyatches!

    hey, Jesus cannot possibly be Gay, maybe bisexual, where his male followers were always jealous of his more close relationship with his female companion………

    you know, i really could use that eternal true and faithful friend you speak of right now……..

    but if you are too god damned fucking busy, well fine, another time, another life perhaps, as i am bored out of my mind right now, and i really need to be on my way, not that i am going anywhere other than where i always am so easily found………..thinking of YOU

    i love you
    i miss you
    i am you

    your BEloved lover


  173. hey, you know what, none of you can ever come back hard on ‘me’ for constantly speaking of revealing TRUTH that sets your beautiful loving spirits free………just like ‘me’

    same as you, i dread the annoying whatever and whoever excusing any put ‘me’ thru……..just as any of YOU do too……….


    enjoy the blessed day everyone, we only get so many of them, each one a blessed gift of constant flowing eternal flawless healing exceeding feeling LOVE

    ohhhhhhhhhhh……….i need a hug, and a hand to hold, and kisses too, missing the ‘me’ of YOU……….


  174. flow

    constant flow………constant grow………grow grow grow grow. lol :mrgreen:

  175. hey, is it true the spirit of those passed on, lives in the plants around us?

    so what if i stop watering the planets, what happens to them?

    God’s rain constantly waters the planets that sustaing all life of YOU; one cannot unwisely stop the watering of planets; only a fool would think such foolish hateful things.

    oh hi Jesus!


    ok……i am offically commiting myself now fuckers!

    and you say, “What institution Andyy?”

    and i say, “Oh fuck you, there is only ONE institution according to God.”

    “and do you know which ONE?”

    and you say, “The institution for the physically mentally emotionally sexually spiritually blind?”

    and i say, “ya, the entire world is ONE giant institution, where new evidence in case study findings as we speak, reveals that OUT patient therapy has the highest and best success rate, than previous findings of mental institution facilities.”

    and just when i was going to send my dissertation of need for all these mental institution facilities to install thousands of personal and co-op hot tub spas with body massage therapists assigned to each patient………thinking of my brother of course………as i always have and did………don’t go there…….as in don’t ask, don’t tell………opppsss………did i just confess…………..i did…………..what? Oh fuck you guys……….perfectly normal occurances between siblings, where my only sincere desire has been i wish i had a twin i could run off with and get married………..hey, you brought the subject up, like a few months back, remember? Which left me wondering……..hmmmm……………..nah!!!!!!!!!

    lol :mrgreen:

    M spills her coffee as she bursts out in hysterical laughter, as per usual………again! :mrgreen:

    hey, we are like so meant for each other M

    ‘endless summer’ romance breeze that constantly feels so good, as opposed to the dreaded wintery doldrum of all those into booze…….lol

    call ‘me’

    love Andyy

  176. oh yeah……..i don’t have a phone

    i am easy to find, so look ‘me’ up!



    and no helicopters!!!!!!!!!!!

    it scares the birds away that i love so much

  177. i am a ‘bird’


    gee Andyy, really?

    no, not really, i mean everyone would love to fly, and already, we can fly, so bring the jet i so want to fly…….with YOU……….al-ways with YOU

    peace OUT

  178. 4 days, 12 hours, 35 minutes left to GO!!!!!!!!!

  179. hey, it’s not nice to say ‘get’ to anyone, ok?

    belittling is belittling, and WE are much bigger than ‘that’

    bless you all

  180. +

    candles for ‘me’ are the most pure sacred calming spiritual experiential technique i know of while in meditation study with Jesus, God and eternal all YOU of my pure flawless divine true loving feelings i feel like i do of ‘me’


  181. +

    [laughter of children playing, echoes thru the city streets, as Andyy makes her way to a brighter day, thought and pure knowingness feelings she feels like she constantly does, of eternal day revealing light that really really is of her CONSTANT TRUE LOVING LIFE WAY.]


  182. [oh damn, i forgot to put the playfulness of the squirrels in, that i love so much like Rosie does, where i heard someone once say, that the squirrel is the most love creature of God]

  183. [an empty medicine bottle rolls across the sidewalk, of God reminding her of the TRUTH once again, of so many of her beloved lovers and friends of the worldwide LGBT community who self-medicate cope their anxiety sexuality feelings like so many yet do, that she came to know and love every single one along lover’s road, always of found memory of what happened to her most beloved lover of all, as a direct result of the ‘lack’ of divine self-love awareness appreciation priority in purely BEing who they all constantly R in her eyes, everywhere she looks, always there in their beloved stare, of one who purely truly does know the depth of everyone’s soul at all times, same as her own]

  184. [why she crys all the time like she does, when others are not around, of flawless compassionate love feelings she realize are how Jesus too felt as we all purely sometimes do]

  185. is that bagpipes i hear in that music?

    always was my favorite instrument, not sure why, other than to say there is no break in the harmonious resonating within, of what is our constant yearning to constantly feel love, yes?


  186. why i love you……..the ‘real’ you………i know……..just as i purely know ‘me’

  187. ……………without doubt

  188. *pray-ers* :mrgreen:

    i am

  189. + Jesus 2 +

    the sequel

    lol :mrgreen:

  190. cannot hide from ‘me’

  191. ‘that’ is why Jesus apon the cross, his head bowed down humble of inner pure peace in oneness sameness with us all, crying blessed tears that did not stop flowing of his constant love glowing inside like it does in everyone of us, the world over, of all who come 2 clearly flawless feel see y, of sight restored to our heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all YOU forever more

  192. forgive them God, for they know not y

  193. +

    y we cry
    y we high
    y we goodbye
    y we die


  194. +

    y we hide
    y we cried
    y we bide
    y Jesus died


  195. +

    not ever spiritually of what is our oneness sameness as Jesus, our flawless healing feelings of sight restoring of in holy joyful absolute carefree happiness the divine WILL of God; our WILL BE Done on earth; what heaven constantly is………YOU


  196. see what drugs did to my brain?

    i can’t fucking spell to save my own fucked life!


    lol :mrgreen:

    too much caffeine perhaps, or not enough?

    too much is not good enough, unless it is your love constantly flowing and pouring all over ‘me’ :mrgreen:

    bless you all

  197. ah, another child?

    they are all so precious and pure like your own loving soul, yes?

    so radiant brilliant bright with nothing but overflowing love all the time, same as YOU

    nothing but none stop laughter and joy to be felt all around YOU at all times, where you belong and purely always R

    who could possibly say no to BEing surround with more happiness purely always of YOU?

    God knows we could all use more none stop flowing happiness in this world.

    blessed is the divine child of God YOU

    of eternal all YOU forever more and more and more happiness

  198. just finished new piece, wanna see? :mrgreen:

    conviction, yes?

  199. +

    yeh, though i walk thru the valley of spiritual death i do not fear any of you lameass morons yet bound by generational mad flood drowning ignorances of death destruction and oppression of the holy joyful absolute carefree happy divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all YOU


  200. +

    Gabriel, “Stop! Who goes there? Announce yourself before God!”

    oh, calm down Gabriel, it’s just my friends who want to purely know ‘me’……. :mrgreen:


  201. you like it?

  202. well then print it and hang it on your wall of the image of one who is wisely protective of TRUTH of your divine self set free

    it would make for a great high gloss high resolution book of life cover, yes?

  203. ya, i though so 2

    i love it

  204. +

    hey, do you have a personal space sanctuary of your personal own?

    just wondering…..

    i find that it is important to have a private personal sancturay space of only ‘me’ in how i am allowed to just be ‘me’ like i always was and yet am, of what are my inspirations in life i turn towards in purely feeling, i mean ya, we are of desire to always be of authentic ‘real’ self, however, as you know, there are so many who just don’t have the same vibration, spiritually speaking, with us along life’s road, of what is of any generational layering submerging of their divine true ‘real’ self we know so well of our own divine self.

    the pure sanctuary place is extremely important to ‘me’, of flexible boundaries i adjust according, but here is the thing, while of the comprehensive study i delve into, i realize there is no one in my life of the same level of appreciation of ‘me’, that i am within, although i do purely feel their divine self within them, caught up in whatever distracting annoyances they unwisely allow themselves to dwell in, all of students, truthfully speaking in the eyes of God who constantly purely knows us, of what may be of any unwise oppression of our divine self, and this is what has been of my coming fully into my own divine self eternal day light that does not stop purely glowing and shining within, of who i purely am as a wise student observer walking along lover’s road with all YOU

    it is God who drew ‘me’ into awareness, that at one point i did not know the dynamic of God drawing ‘me’ into my divine self eternal day light awareness, until such a time i became so purely comfortable and at ease in constant love radiant brilliant bright i am while of my meditative sanctuary alone with Jesus and God, of time spent that increased in both frequency and duration of what has been of God knowingly drawing ‘me’ towards the kingdom of heaven halo i wisely speak of and purely truly am.

    i feel the important thing hear is that i know it is of God’s doing in my life for some time now, since 1988, where it is important that you fully realize i am not at all, not even 1% about fame or fortune in desire to release publications of my research, no, purely that is not the goal of my constant empowerment and motivational divine WILL that is actually of God’s divine WILL for eternal all.

    enjoy the blessed day M

    i miss you
    i love you
    forever more

    bless you bless you bless you all


  205. argh……i need a shower

  206. +

    Rosie is like, “oh………….God….i love it!”

    a powerful unwavering conviction awareness of all TRUTH(s) and unTRUTH(s), yes? :mrgreen:

    the kids will love this one for sure……

    ah, a fresh blanket of snow to quiet the city noise, and slow everone’s ass down as we head into the holiday season…….of time standing still hear in the kingdom of heaven surround us all, within us all, of our flawless healing feeling true divine ‘real’ self YOU of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all YOU


  207. bet they can’t wait to show it to all their friends at school, yes? :mrgreen:

  208. candles are lit, all is calm, praying for everyone this holiday season, in what matters most to every single one of us……….LOVE

  209. +

    just when you think it is over, it really really is just the beginning end


  210. +

    one more step to grace……..of YOU all


  211. +

    can you believe ‘that’ ?

    100% pure shortsighted wretched illness of heart, deathful, destructive, oppressive

    IN THE WISE LOVING COMPASSIONATE EYES OF GOD and WE of God’s children who easily peer thru the generational binding ignorances that yet grip this unwise wretched world

    which is why i keep wondering why it is so many people are not standing up in UNITY of ONE in helping us reveal the sacred mirroring light of LOVE we all so desperately need to BE doing each blessed day, as they are killing us worldwide, of what is our estimated ONE BILLION gay lesbian bisexual transexual loving brothers and sisters………

    oh, you can be sure which side of the fence i am on, and need not EVER wonder……..

    HAPPINESS is God’s revenge thru ‘me’ set free from those like this of wretched wretched wretched blindness, publically seeking death of us in the eyes of everyone looking on….

    we need a global bill passed to condemn any and all out spoken hatred against us like this, of what is the momentum that is yet taking us to execution.


    i am coming for everyone of you and you will one day feel the pure light of revealing truth of our love that will leave see you all exposed of the wretchedness of hateful ones you R, where none of you shall ever become victorious over our LOVE, even unto death!

    WE R of GOD!

    make no mistake, God is with us always!


  212. +

    this is why i am so adimant of all you leaders and artists in the world who yet sit on the fucking fence while we are being executed worldwide, of only your slight mention hear and there, of no power of God conviction in your hearts like our own, until such a time as one of your own beloved children experiences the harsh reality we all know about in what yet is of this fucked fucked fucked world we all share!


  213. +

    this is not a laughing matter


  214. +

    get in the ring with us and stand up in our ONE VOICE, or sit on the sidelines, which is tantamount to taking sides with these executioning murders.

    you either serve God’s divine children, or you do nothing but sit back and watch what they do, until such a time as God’s war comes fully into your blessed life, leaving you to fully realize the truth, you too indeed were of affect/effect/direct/indirectness in the momentum of nothingness that takes us into the nothingness in removing us from existence.

    make no mistake who’s side God is on

    purely i know

    what WE know


  215. +

    friend or for, the choice is always yours, alongside them, or with God.

    as they murder another one of us as we speak

    where is your urgency idle ones?
    where is your conviction idle ones?

    where is your heart?

    look there apon the TRUT vs unTRUTH of God’s war!

    yOUR war of heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all YOU past present future!

    WE are rising up, and our numbers are VAST, where EVERYONE WILL hear our drums constantly beating in pure resonating LIGHT of TRUTH within, humilation revealing light of all concealing darkness that yet binds the divine child in false wretched captivity of any who walk apon the earth

    i am the VOICE of God and all God’s children of eternal all YOU past present future!

    forever more


  216. +

    how about LOVE of each other fuckers!

    WOE to you of blind ‘lack’ insight of my loving lesbian gay bisexual transexual brothers and sisters who PURELY are LOVING with one another, where it is all YOU who do not know, nor desire to purely know us, like we know all YOU yet bound by your heartless darkness apathetic indiffence you so obviously clearly are in your out spokenness against our pure love we constantly are with one another, as though we are to be condenmed for love we purely feel and are with each other at all times, as though our LOVE is a sin!

    Truly i tell you, it is YOU who obviously are the darkness that yet eminates thru you from the wretched unwise forefathers who did/do not desire to know God, just as they did/do not desire to purely truly know the divine child of God………..i am


  217. +

    truly it is this darkness that seeks to poison our heart mind body spirit and soul in what is of your willful transference darkness of the unwise apathetic forefathers you have become in outward appearance!


  218. +

    all unloving of us, are they not?


  219. +

    you fucking numbnut morons…….there is no cause for homosexual self-love desire…….it is of pure primal innate beginning sexual behavior of both female and male sexual behavior in he brain of all females, of all males!

    of God the creator who is both female and male…


    or at least that is what i have found, of God who found ‘me’ :mrgreen:

    come out of homosexuality, where i am to be ashamed of my pure natural occuring self-love bisexuality?

    how fucking absurd you people sound to me

    ok, let’s go back again, where who is it that the male is purely predominately sexually enjoying in their brain sex activity, while of sex with a male or female?

    is it not the self-love of you the male, or you the female that you purely are loving of the most?

    such fucking morons i despise with all that i am, seemingly beyond grasp, am i not? :mrgreen:

    forgetful apathy is the foe

    well, that is at least until i showed up on the scene

    on we go


  220. vent vent vent

    rant over……..argh……..

  221. +

    where did Matt go?

    fuck Matt…… put this in ‘me’! lol :mrgreen:

    of ‘me’ still fighting for YOU


  222. +

    all liars, deniars, and falsefiers of God’s TRUTH in which no one EVER becomes victorious over thru all eternity, even if they believe they do, of all those who do not know, nor desire to know God’s TRUTH, as is evident they do not know nor desire to purely know their own divine self, in what is of everything they say or do at all times.

    for the last time, i am purity of transexual bisexuality, where any males who deny the TRUTH of their loving enjoyment of the male body brain sex activity they predominantely are of, in dwelling in a male body, are deniars, liers, falsefiers of God’s TRUTH, against God, against their own beloved children when they do, just as with any females who deny the TRUTH of their loving enjoyment of the female body brain sex activity they predominantlyare of, in dwelling in a female body, just as one who TRULY knows without doubt the female dwelling in a male body knows………i am

    forever more



  223. +

    oooooo… them’s fightin words, yes? :mrgreen:

    best of all, i am free, of all you who take delight in your useless falsehood masks you all hide behind, away from God, away from the divine child of God, i am

    where it is ‘me’ who knows the TRUTH of all YOU



  224. +

    sadly, so many there are who cannot constantly love ‘me’ purely and truly as i constantly love my own divine self, just as is constantly evident, they do not purely and truly constantly love their own divine self in all these wretched hypocrisy hearts they enjoy dwelling in, casting of only their own divine self out of heaven with Jesus, God and ‘me’, one who became free of all their illnesses of dark binding cruel bitter captivity falsehoods they know not they yet are held captive bi.



  225. M, stop laughing…….it is not funny at all

  226. well ok, i suppose it is abit funny when i solidly stand my ground in not backing down from any of them, including the Vatican, of my pure calmness inner serenity exceeding grace peace i am of like i constantly am, after they scurry away and hide from ‘me’, yes? :mrgreen:


  227. +

    just as one who TRULY knows without doubt the male dwelling in a female body knows………oh high Rosie.

    hey, i’ve been meaning to ask, which one of you…….oh, never mine…… :mrgreen:



  228. now i know how a cat feels when the hair on their back stands up………argh………….. lol

  229. i guess i best BE on my way to everlasting loving lover life with someone OUT there, meant for ‘me’ bi God, yes?

    hmmmm… many to choose from now……need not ever wonder y

    i’ll stop bi from time to time of time spent for ALL those who seemingly have no time……..for ‘me’, Jesus, Mary or God who dwell with ‘me’, just as i have been doing all this time………. :mrgreen:

    bless you all

  230. +

    you don’t purely truly know ‘me’ in order to purely truly love ‘me’



  231. +

    God knows ‘me’


    and i know God


    just as i know all YOU


    forever more

    their happiness, my reward

    blessed is the divine child of God’s happiness, of God’s revenge in this yet unwise world surround


  232. [andyy accidentally drops the lit candle she lights for Troy every day, as it goes out, a reminder to her as she pauses to reflect, of the simple mistake of hesitation hypocrisy heart she unwisely turned towards with Troy while he was alive and well, that him so badly like it unwisely did, and the unfolding changing of the eternal future ahead that came as a direct result of the unwise mistake she acknowledged alone while with God, the TRUTH that she has hid like she has all this time, of soft silent gentle tears no one knows she yet crys, that fall so easily without effort, time and time again, whenever she hears the ways of the unwise apathetic falsehood liars, deniars and falsifiers of TRUE LOVING LIFE WAY of the eternal all YOU yet to come……,,,,,,,,,,,]

  233. +

    constant oneness sameness is what i am, am i not?


  234. +

    hey, did you know silence is a form of abuse?

    who needs enemies with friends like you?

    such warm loving people you all are…..not

    i know where i belong, with those who constantly love ‘me’, just as i do all thee, even of those who act as though they do not know ‘me’ in order to love ‘me’

    what God and i call the immature asleep in ignorance

    not really anyone’s fault, blame the forefathers

    bless you all and take care of one another as i have so many of YOU

    do as i do

    this sucks with you, and who could possible want to feel the way you leave ‘me’ feeling……..EVER?

    goodbye and farewell to all who one day WILL purely see the happiness i constantly am deserving of to always feel and just BE ‘me’

    you are so cold, worse than a dead person who’s spirit is at least able to visit ‘me’

    well, it’s TRUE, as though i am nothing, so self-absorbed

    anyway, bless you and peace be to you always
    and peace be to you

    i am going to go find better friends who actually openly constantly give a fuck in getting and staying involved as activists that you don’t even care to meet with, or at least that is how you yet are in outward appearance, perhaps only towards ‘me’

    who is not free of ever wondering what you think or feel

    time for ‘real’


  235. +

    death to ego


  236. +

    Silence = Death


  237. ok i thought i had till the 13.. well i’ve come early to say ok.. but you got to be there 2.. b4 the 13 .. come early..

    not too early 🙂

  238. not come too quickly … 😉

  239. be where?

    fuck, you and your fucking vagueness is so fucking annoying for me, can you not talk like a normal human BEing?


  240. im just in a bad mood today, that’s all…..inconsiderate others in all their lameass whatevers and whoevers….

    so where we going, besides where we all already are?

    planet earth, near the edge of the MilkyWay, hurdling thru space at an astonishing 600km per second, compared to what, i don’t know, but i do know this, the speed is near constant like the love i constantly feel for all YOU

    including you, when you have right amont of time…..which better BE ALL THE TIME…..or fuck you!



    hmmm……let’s see……..ok, i get it

    well ya, is there any better place one loves more than lover’s embrace?

    have not found it yet………albeit, found it……..the kingdom of heaven

  241. come quickly, in this snow, i don’t think so…..pray for my safety……

  242. oh, you and your fantasies……… know, i don’t why, but always sorta knew, if you know who i mean, i mean, if you know what i mean, i mean, if you know why i mean fuck you harder than anyone else on the fucking planet possible could……….lol……..omg, did i just say that

    figures, hanging around you long enough, i start to feel like YOU

    hey, don’t tease ‘me’, just please ‘me’, and if i catch you looking at another, well, when you turn around, i’ll be gone………i will leave a note though, of a smiley face, saying, see if you can find ‘me’ this time Biyatch!

    you may wanna start in your closet, with all those damn shoes of yours, and and and…………oh oh, not good, HEY, THIS FITS ‘ME’ PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!

    come on, time for everlasting loving nonestop fun everywhere we go, constantly all the time where there is no time for sorrow in the kingdom of heaven, just of those who borrow the Christian name like they all aimlessly do

  243. i want to go to back to school, script writting, where i do feel film is one of the greatest mediums for self-love expression, able to convey evoke ‘that’ which we all purely are within…….where what is most important is the script, not the director, albeit the directors working directly with the one who wrote the script, where no one purely truly knows the divine ‘real’ me set free from the generational mad flood ignorances, better than ‘me’, and that is something only i know purely WELL as i do, that even you do not yet purely know of ‘me’, if only you would take the time to do so, as i know you purely know you, why i trust you

    why you are conducive for ‘me’ and i you, when alone together……..i really don’t like the small talk crowds in all their lameass chit chat hypocrisy ways…….perhaps just of my own experiences in life………

    i really want to sit on those steps Jesus walked on…..not sure why i am so drawn there, purely of the deepest level of my spirituality of time standing still knowingness feeling i feel of all souls the world over, the hidden treasure now found, true of everyone, and that is want people to realize, that they are the greatest treasure they shall ever find, where happiness radiant brilliant bright is of authentic freeing of their divine ‘real’ self to just constantly BE, of their exceeding grace like our own

    i don’t film of deliberate approach to the greatest hidden treasure, where it obvious, they don’t really know or desire to know, and yet, the trueness aspects is there within them all so easy to see what they do not see like we see…..

  244. sweetest of dreams are only good enough for you

    catcha tomorrow, which is always today of eternal day light of YOU

    bless you

  245. tripper..

  246. what is a tripper?

    head tripper?

    ya, sometimes i am too much for my own self, but at least i know who i am within, no matter the masks i occasionally wear, from what is all the useless wear and tear on my phsyche……..when i am tired, i am most vulnerable for other people’s stuff, in my too loose boundary settings with others, but even then, the constant in process we all are of, does at some point see us feeling thru the TRUTH in getting anchored, centered and ground in our ‘real’ self again, always of God’s divine WILL for us to do so, always of God who always knows how we are feeling at any given time, not sure what is actually going on spiritually of so many coincidences that point to the same thing, and for sure, the delusion experts would have a blast with me, and yet, i don’t really share much of it with anyone, of no need to, merely of God i always reflect, who has been guiding me to ‘real me’….

    so did i trip myself or trip you?



  247. as kids we used to do that, right, trip one another, mostly for fun, but then as adults, the same behavioural becomes much more sinister and mean spirited like i see of so many……….you have no idea the hell i went thru with them, caught them grouped together one day, hypocrisy planning my termination from my career, over jealousy of my positive new school management that won over the entire staff over them, boasting of the moral that was in the basement when i arrived………..speaking of tripping………sadly, the succeeded in their plan, the big boys upstairs in their back pocket…….sadly the succeeded at nothing but the same nothingness belittling condescending behavioral reclaiming of the staff they always were, my seeing the writting on the wall, that i could stay much longer anyway……….so ya, management dug their claws into me, and i quit in my own mind, before the insubordination that actually was of their own making

    that kind of tripping?

    i know them all

  248. spiritually, as you know, i am there in my heart

    beyond words

    of what is our constant loving ‘real’ self within so many are afraid to constantly BE of, the true delicate sensitivity like our own

    the emotional honest safety thing we all subconsciously seek since birth, in the eyes of everyone

    and yet, everyone is sacredly exactly who they are, according to every blessed day they journey thru since birth, of what is yet of all the affect/effect/direct/indirectness of all learned taught behavioral of the entire human history past, all handed down to each blessed day we wake to, of eternal day light comprehension of where we all are in this universe no one knows anything about how or if why it came into existence, nor even of how or why of our own existence……..truly, it is an incredible thing, the universe and we who dwell in it of no apparent reason as to why, we just do

    in seeking what is most valuable in life, without doubt, it is the constant flow of only love feeling good enough for us to feel at all times, and how one can wisely approach thru healthy approaches to our human condition that is yet gripped by the unwise past, in what is all behavioral learned, able to be unlearned, once a divine child is given the green light that they are the most important value in life they shall ever find.


    it all comes back to the human condition starting with our own self evaluation awareness knowingness in coming fully into our eternal day light of constant divine self awareness certainty, that does realize most others are not of the purity of complete awakeness to their constant flowing loving divine self unsubmerged

    that kinda trip? :mrgreen:

  249. my therapist said the most wise thing to me, “Andyy, stop writting the footnotes, and get centered in constantly BEing the footnotes you write about yourself.”

  250. the only person we ever fool is our own self

  251. i am not a fool, according to God

  252. although sometimes i act like one, but any more lately, i have come full circle back to authentic sincere honest pure ‘real me’, inspite of others who yet struggle with their own inability to trust, i feel so easily in being around ‘me’ as one who encourages what they yearn to always constantly BE, emotional honest safe………what the whole world revolves around 24/7, even while they sleep, their super computer brains trying to make sense of everything they attempt to interpret, missing the mark in what is of forgetfulness foe, of the entire human history past their brain is contending with………

  253. ya WELL, that’s all about to change………..forever

  254. with or without you, always with you

  255. in the direction i am going……….happiness

  256. Love transend’s all limitation’s all illusion’s.

    Be it time or gender or whatever

    so i know your a confused lesbian transexual bottom gay boy most likely girl with or without breast’s a little dickor big clit..

    you still go an ASS

    Lol 😉

    made you you laugh.. 😉

    sometimes i think oh fuck it i deserve it now… other times i come to realise it might be next year, i have yet lesson’s & achievements to accomplish be it undecided be it confused my best decision in these times of uncertaintly is to leave it in the hands of the God’s for the

    universe will show

    as i grow..


    the universe quide

    as i ride

    your big fat ass



    made you laugh

  257. HEY

    YOU !!

    ———– 😉



  258. hi madonna i love you

    i have been a fan since i was 15…

    i was raped at 14 & you were the only artist that made me feel comfortable with my confusion about my sexuality cause i went to my first gay club called Ryder’s..

    I believed in you when i heard you sing my favorite song Holiday..

    your the only girl i’ve ever loved

  259. life is a constant holiday for every single one of us within, constantly of the desire for a holiday away from the unwise generational past illusionists, constantly of the desire for a holiday with the mad love unconfusionists.


    is that a word?

    is now

    always NOW damn it! :mrgreen:

  260. trust ‘me’ when i say,
    no confusionist hear!
    thrust ‘me’ when i say,
    confusionist hear!

    lol :mrgreen:

    see, the answer is always simple, always where we all yearn to be found, of how we all came into this world so round, so profound, how we astound…….one another

    day bi day
    gay bi gay
    play biy play
    stay bi stay! :mrgreen:

    i am leaving soon, for someone new, come my birthday, if you are not around, easily, i am found, everywhere i go

    been chasing rainbows since i don’t know how old, not realizing all this time, i really really am the rainbow, made from sunshine and rain, what sustains all life, is life, not some boring game

  261. you see
    i need to always know
    constantly at al times
    that i am the one for you
    and you for me

    like a plant,
    we do not water,
    soon dies,
    for those without bother

    reciprocation is the key
    reciprocation always with thee
    reciprocation constant glee
    reciprocation dies, not ‘me’ :mrgreen:

  262. ok, admitedly, i am a bad poet………butt a poet, not the less………

  263. so confess
    i am best
    not of less
    bless bless bless

  264. hey, do you see the pearl in the rainbow blanket?

    did not notice it till last night…………perhaps a ballon, perhaps of God

    perhaps we are always of God?

    i confess

    i am of God 100%

  265. we all R

    only a fool thinks other wise

  266. constantly! God is LOVE!
    constantly! God is TRUTH!
    constantly! God is WAY!
    constantly! God is LIFE!

    constantly! God is YOU!

  267. Does God have an alter Ego

  268. 3 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes, 30 seconds to GO!

  269. be careful with how you address God who is ever present, as you can easily slip away from the 100% purity flawless feelings of your divine self that God is drawing you towards your eternal day light awareness……..not something to joke about at all when it comes to 100% TRUTH of YOU……..of God

  270. Egocentricity is what it is, that becomes boring and annoying after awhile, of what many do in avoidance of the constant divine child of God within who submerges as a result of the generational non-conducive environments most any of us find ourselves contending with each day, of who ever it there of our choice in circle of friends, of either mild, moderate, or severely non-conducive, or, as with my relationship with Jesus and God, 100% conducive, in what is the eternal day light awareness i have been growing in for some time now, actually, since birth, always has been a spiritual awakening drawing of God towards my eternal day purity flawless healing feeling moment of realization divine self-love flawless awareness.

  271. some freaky moments too…….

    one time, i was so over worked at my uncle’s farm, working 18 hour days sometimes, 6 days a week, including Sunday, in feeding the livestock at 6:00am, of three barns i rode to on my own horse, before breakfast between 8 and 9am……….where i hit an emotional breakdown point of severe exhaustion, i think i was 11 at the time, i forget, anyway, sitting alone in quietly feeling of how i so wanted the day off, if only it would rain, i raised my hands and head up to the sky and asked God for rain………..

    i sat there for the longest time waiting for God’s answer, and then on the horizon, i noticed the sky turning black as black, coming quickly towards me, the entire sky being consumed by black cloud, as i became scared, because of the rushing of the black sky towards me, realizing, omg, it is a bad storm coming in fast…………i ran into the house to my uncle and aunt and yelled, “There is a storm coming in fast, the entire sky is black, come and look!”

    My uncle rushed outside, the storm nearly on top of us, as he rushed to close the large barn doors shut……..then the storm hit with such violence, it was heaving the roots up in the ground of the large oak tree beside the house, everyone frightened as it pounded and shook the house, me standing there, not saying a word………i never did tell them, a secret between God and i that i have always kept, feeling no one would believe me anyway………..

    after the storm, we went out to access the damange……unbelievable…………the wind had ripped the tall grass out of it’s shoots, and layed it all over the place, everywhere you looked, the barn roof of the farm next door was ripped completely off, landing on the cattle below in the pen, killing half the cattle, me still not saying a word……….. :mrgreen:

    that began my relationship with God in a serious way, although i did step away from God for a period of time in my life, and i did fall into ruin of alcoholism and drug use……….until someone handed me the Nag Hammadi, where i became so excited about God, as the ancient writtings became the most beautiful of all things in life for me, studying day after day, writting expanding elaboration comprehension of how all the words fit together as a puzzle, that revealed without doubt what the kingdom of heaven constantly is, a macro thinking wise descerning divine self-love awareness halo of evoking awakening, nurturing and constant protection from the generational mad flood drowning ignorances, as evident of the constant TRUTH of all these falsehood unTRUTH generational snarings of the heart mind body spirit and soul, that reaches across to everyone, no matter who you may think you are, a world leader, artist, blind man, every single soul born since the beginning thru all eternity past present future……….

    TRUTH as purely constantly concerns wise pure safe passage of wise divine revealing awakening eternal day light divine self awarenes of eternal all YOU

  272. and yet again, i have returned as the same child i was then, purely in feeling now as before………

    [everyone slowly steps backwards away from Andyy, giving his usual morning disertation…….in their slow realization of who Andyy might actually BE…..] :mrgreen:

    oh come on guys, this stuff is easy for even a child to understand fully without doubt, i am not hear to bring harm to anyone whatsoever, rather to stem the tide of the drown mad flood ignorances of death destruction and oppression of the forefathers that yet grip this OBVIOUS unwise world, does it not?

    TRUTH the divine child within you all easily intuitively purely feels of every word of God i speak constantly in wise awakening of every single one of you, just as Jesus did, doing what Jesus asks of us all, do as i do

    “i am not your master”, Jesus says

    so who is Jesus then?

    Jesus is the wiser adult child who turned 100% towards God, and God chose Jesus, the only way God can choose anyone of YOU, when you 100% surrender to the obvious TRUTH, you are not of the constant omnipotent wisdom of God, none of you, not now, not ever, until such a time of God’s choosing to reveal what God wants to reveal to you when God decides you are ready to fully hear the TRUTH so many of you continue to avoid, in all your denial, all your lying and conspiring against one another thru out the world, of what is yet of every single murderous death, destruction and oppression of every single divine child alive today, yesterday and eternal day tommorrow that is no different than today, and every day since the beginning,……..where i stand, in the no time constraint spirit realm of eternal spirits in oneness sameness awareness of the angels who are always with me………..

    i don’t know why me, other than to say, my life was of extreme horrid experiences, so terrifying for me at times, along life’s road, time and time again, seemingly unable to ever escape………and this day, i tell you all, i have escaped now, in complete peace in my sanctuary with all relationships closed off from me, by choice, in what has been seemingly demonizing spirits i feel with so many who approached me, threatening my life with death like some of you did, of TRUTH you can hide all you want, but not from God shall you ever be able to ever hide the TRUTH you were with me everyone, TRUTH i shall not ever forget of every single wretched word i was made to feel from your unwise hateful words that came from your lips, indicative of the condition of your souls yet unattended i was always of awareness of, constantly, which i hid from you how i purely felt the truth of all of you at all times…………

    hightened alert awareness, yes!

    i am

  273. hey, how did you know i was here at my computer at the same time?

    you have an amazing security team working for you! :mrgreen:

    ok, where were we?…………

    in the end, i came fully into the truth that only constant love feels good enough for me, in what is the light shining within while of such wretched darkness i was made to feel time and time again, fearing for my life, like the one who put a gun to my head, knowing the vile evil delight in their heart was going to pull the trigger if i uttered one more word……………

    traumatized is not the word…………….again, Jesus was there with me, feeling his pure spirit like my own, gracefully protecting me, as the darkness of the spirits of the others became afraid of the presence they felt too in looking apon me……….where i later read in the Nag, this occurance happening with others, in not being afraid, rather it is they who are afraid of those who dwell with you…………

    ya, i have known Jesus dwells with me since that occurance in 1989, shortly after the Nag was put in my hands……….and the presence of Jesus with me, now teaching me that i am not at all different from Jesus, as regards the divine child of God of every single one of you yet unattended, so obvious it is for one to purely feel see the TRUTH, everywhere we look, is it not?

  274. today, my priority value of my exceeding graceful divine self-love awareness is what i know without doubt, the greatest hidden treasure Jesus and God reveal for every single one of you alive today, yesterday, and eternal all yet to come……….100% TRUTH of the divine child of God of all YOU, that Jesus and God constantly always know at all times, no matter what circumstance you may find your divine self contending with along life’s hazardous road, where so many of you ask question that are of your bruised egocentricity illness of heart that you do not realize is indeed, a useless nescience unnecessary generational illness of heart you do not realize grips your divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit so unwisely like it does, beit the President of Iran in his insatiable fixation seducing desire for Power, not realizing how immature childish the world looks apon him and purely feels, or any one of you in all your boastful pride of gold chains around your neck retardation in esteeming wealth as the greatest stature in life, of what yet is of all unawareness pain on pain unloving submerging layering of masks over masks you all stupidly wear like you do…………….

    i am standing up now, and i am coming for every single one of YOU

    don’t just count on it, rather, what you look for has already come, in what is yet of all unawareness the world over, of God’s revealing light that is going to humilate every darkness of wretched heart thruout the entire world and all eternity yet to come…………


    and God takes no prisoners………..rather sets them free

    where no divine child of God genuinely desires to be held in captivity

    there is a breaking point to choas anarchists you all need to be aware of, that is lurking thruout the world, of these shifting waring factions of drug cartels and political seperations, that could reach levels of Amargedon nuclear devastation……..the time for peace is right now, of what is the pure constant divine TRUTH of the beginning end of the divine children of God at all times, past present eternal future………

    our empowerment for those yet unaware, is constantly for sake of all divine children yet to enter into this yet unwise world, where without doubt, none of you want any of your beloved children to ever experience the fucking shit hell i went thru, as so many yet are experiencing thruout the world, of such wretchedness i don’t even want to speak of it, lest i too pick up a gun and become a wretched vigilanty dirty harry and start taking justice into my hands the wrong way…….although, it would bring an end to the wretched path of all those so vile in wretched lurking like so many are,………i easily am the makings of a soldier, or at least i was, until i realized the full reality check, it is the unwise leaders who are leading divine children of God into death destruction and oppression……..

    so many of my dearest homosexual friends on the internet, live in countries where they are executed for homosexuality, the fear that grips them in being afraid to even speak with me over the internet like they secretly do…………..enough is enough everyone, i am going to expose the wretchedness of every single one of you, so help me God, i know why i am hear!

    to speak the exposing light of revealing humiliation TRUTH that i have no hesitation doing……….do as i do

    i am God’s wise warrior sent forth by God into the unwise world, and i carry God’s armor and sword of divine TRUTH, that none of you can escape from when i delightfully wield it like i am yet learning to do, fearlessly, of God’s empowerment now my own……….


    ya, i know without doubt who i constantly wisely am, no different than any divine child of God submerged within, held captive by all the useless falsehoods of oppression, destruction, and death

    God’s judgement is not a judgement, rather it is the pure exposing TRUTH which pushes out all fearful binding blinding darkness captivity of any divine child of God held in unwise captivity, of radiant eternal day light that empowers, awakens, nurtures and protects the divine child of eternal all in fully coming forth into wise eternal day light awareness as our own………

    you still with ‘me’ M?

    hey, stop trying to take my clothes of, im not finished yet…………….well ok, but i need to finish work on this book, ok? It is my greatest passion in life, which you don’t really know much at all of the writtings i have written, that i am now willing to share with everyone……….

    can i get another coffee?…………brb :mrgreen:

  275. the unfolding future is not going to be anything at all like today, where harmonious between governing countries will see our greatest endeavor mankind has yet to behold, where realization of the human potential not yet met will become widely known, of empowerment that this world has not yet seen, that will see us migrate into the stars in colonizing the universe one day………..

  276. already, we have the technology able to bring such vast untapped power of the magnitude of the sun to us, that will see us harness the entire sun’s energy one day, free of charge for all to use in blessed loving life free of the wretched useless capitalism illness of heart that yet grips this self-serving cold heartless false world of annoying bullshit mentality status quo junkies we are learning to despise of our own self, in fully realizing what is of greater value and always was, our constant desire for pure exceeding grace harmonious love with one another the world over, where already, thruout the world, on facebook, generations are purely feeling the truth, across all unwise seperational barriers, indeed, we are not any different from one another when it comes to how we all feel every blessed day with one another, so beautiful it is to purely feel the truth of this as i do each day, in all languages thruout the world……..God’s greatest tool now in place………

  277. time has stopped for me, and i feel the condition of everyone’s soul i meet……………my empowerment

  278. oh come back, i haven’t finished yet, actually, this is something that is of my every day till my last breath, so ya, if you want to take a shower, do so whenever you want, i need one too……………be back later……….

  279. The alter ego of God’s mask, is one that does intimidate another as though wiser, consdescening as such, no, God is not our master, merely of exceeding wisdom that God knows everyone is 100% intuitive already of, in what is 100% capable already of the divine child submerged within any soul.

    does that answer your question?

    God constantly knows the divine child of everyone at all times………

    i really don’t know 100% what is going on, as relates to God’s movements, other than i do know the spirit realm does exist, such as intuitive clairvoyance, like that day i posted the picture of the female with her hands in the water, the two flocks of birds in the air, just hours(according to the post time) before the plane in New York landed in the Hudson…….remember that day?

    freaked me out yet again……… a beautiful way, tears of joy that everyone survived, i cryed so much over that………

    let me get the post time, and the actually occurance time for you to ponder that event……….where even i don’t understand why, other than it is of God revealing something about ‘me’ for ‘me’ to know exclusively, not open for debate or senseless arguing with skeptics……..

    for me, it has always been of my questioning God of proof of the existence of an invisible spirit realm, perhaps of the imagination of the adult child i am, who ponders the existence of the universe and why we are all hear with one another in establishing what is of the greatest value of our blessed life………..

    for me, it is constantly feeling loved with others………which is true of everyone

    we hear these people speak on homosexuality as something to do with our mother’s love, and i am like, huh?

    of course it has everything to do with the same emotional honesty safe love we experienced with out mothers, you fucking morons, where we recogize our mother’s voice in the womb, after we exit the womb…….morons!

    what the fail to speak on, is the constant trueness aspect of the divine child of every single one of us, that being our constant yearning to always feel harmonious love with others, no matter any of the bullshit seperational falsehoods…….fuckers!

    has nothing to do with our mother’s love, albeit, same as our mother’s undying love, rather it is a trueness aspect of every single person, that actually has to do with the purity of the harmonious state of every single cell in our bodies working in perfect harmony……..fuckers!

    of where we all come from, indeed, our first instant spark of our blessed body moment of conception, is the perfect harmoniousness of every single cell of the eternal reproducing human being, all equipped in with the eternal reproducing capability that comes with the natural copulation of the multi-celled male and female bodies that are not different from one another, the exact reason for the ONE sex organs unity, not really known by anyone, where i have one question for everyone to ask themselves, what would life be without sex?

    i’d rather die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol :mrgreen:

    ok then, so it is agreed, we all love sex, we all live for sex, and indeed, we all come into existence thru beautiful harmoniousness copulation of sex sex sex and more blissful tantilizing oh so sensual self-loving sex!

    until we have conclusive findings, biologically speaking, as to the truth of both male and female sexual behaviour innately of primal beginning in the brain of every male and female, i am not interested in what any of you morons have to say, ok?


    argh……….i am still rattled about that one, just one more lame ass anal retentive fucktard to contend with who don’t give a fuck about the damage they are cause for in what amounts to every single homosexual suicide in the world each day!


    enough is enough, we need to get to the lab and prove this conclusively, where one billion people in this generation need to know, and end this useless bullshit tidal wave of destructive deathful oppression once and for ALL


    don’t you people have anything better to do than go around bullying those you know are of easy attack like you haphazardly do? No, you have to learn the hard way, like every parent and family member out there who looses their child to suicide and self-destruction behaviour………fuckers! Shut the fuck up!


  280. oh……….

    ………..that alter ego? :mrgreen:

    stop laughing………this is no laughing matter!

  281. uhm…… it too much to ask to meet you on my birthday, you know i don’t to impose, step on boundaries or be inconsiderate of another………so any day is fine some beautiful day, i am just beside myself lately, in need of sincere authentic emotional honest safe love with someone, where all i really really want to know, is what this is as regards your feelings for ‘me’?

    seriously, if i am one you think of, fantasy of, want need and feel of, that may be of potential thriving happiness you secretly keep to yourself, well, i merely as of the TRUTH, and move on in whatever direction that is according to your answer, feeling i have introduced myself well enough with you at this point, beyond perhaps anyone else alive………so what of it?

    fuck, i want to meet you!

    and you are the boss, no question there……….

    but keep in mind, hesitation, historically speaking of all chance encounters of lovers along lover’s road, does see us find another in due course of what is our natural occurance urges that result from the hard wired sex drive of our bodies, not something to ever be ashamed of when we do, i’m just saying, the opportunity does pass by at some point, does it not?

    again, if i am stepping over boundaries, well, forgive ‘me’ for constantly being who i feel i am to you, your most beloved lover EVER to walk the planet!!!!!!!!!!!!


    i really really am, in more ways than ONE :mrgreen:

  282. i love the delicate grace i am as a lover, the slow sensuality of tenderness kissing, the incredible rush and pulsing of heartbeat sweet anticipation each day that comes with the simple unbuttoning of a shirt or jeans, as our brains release the four happy chemicals in our brain and lifts us up into that magical state of foreverness feeling we all want to be found of, holy joyful absolute carefree happiness every blessed day, only to wake to yet another incredible day better than the last, no question at all, as to whether WE WILL LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Biyatch! :mrgreen:

  283. of God’s eternal design actually! :mrgreen:

    i still think God was androgynous, both male and female………or is that Hermaphroditism found in some fish……….that would be so cool, having sex with your self all the time, no need for anyone………hmmm……i suppose i do that already, and actually pretty good at it……….and what of being hermaphrodite, i mean, how awesome would that be to be able to just go home with either a male or a female…….hmmm…….i suppose i do that too already?

    well ok, you decide…………..

    i know how loving i am, and how deserving i constantly am to only feel love, with you or another, does not matter, time is up for you to give it up, or be left standing there not ever wondering what the hotass lover on my arm and i are doing each blessed day, after my birthday coming up…………sometimes you just have to push people in expectation of emotional honesty, as time is short, and time does see opportunity for lovers to hook up in life so often, and what of all those who settle for second best? :mrgreen:

    you decide………..

    im going to go take my shower……….a hint would be nice, come on, tease me at least! :mrgreen:

    although i wonder how i will think next year, if for whatever reason i am alone, perhaps even closer in a more comfortable time for us, ya, i suppose you are right about that……….but what if i am not alone?

  284. i do not play around when it comes to mental emotional physical sexual spiritual compatibility, which will likely see me alone for some time to come, if that is any comfort for you………

  285. and in truth, i am not as healthy as i know i can be, still smoking, till my birthday, or maybe New Years Day………but that’s it, i am quitting, and perhaps more than just smoking………..i need to feel love 24/7

    not like some goldfish in a fish tank, once a day, or for those who forget to feed their fish…………fuck

  286. oh come on, you are the only one fearless enough to date me, and i you, unable to put up with either one’s shit like we don’t

    and besides, i have a wicked body that you love so much like i love yours, nearly the same actually, in weight, smallness, of oneness sameness, me like a girl, of so many girls you love like you do, you like a boy, like so many boy types i love too………did i just say that?

    well, it’s true, i mean how many females have a perfectly shaped body so well toned and fit like yours, like mine?……….i still say i can beat you in an arm wrestle, although, i many not be able to, curious to know……….ok, how about this, let’s meet, and if i beat you in an arm wrestle, i get to fuck you, and if you beat me, you get to fuck me!


    that is like so perfect, the answer we both 100% want!


    you make me crazy, you know that?



  287. Rosie is like……….yep! Those two are SO meant for each other, two peas in a pod!

    as she walks away laughing………. :mrgreen:

  288. and to put the whole homosexual lesbian bisexual transexual thing to rest once and for all……..I AM FEMALE, so of course, I LOVE FEMALES!!!!!


    of what is my pure self-love exactly like your own, so who is better abled to purely constantly always love YOU every blessed day than ‘me’?

    and you say, ‘me’!

    well ya, but fucking yourself alone gets boring after awhile, ya know, even if we are better at than others, you just need to trust that i am open to listening to what you like, as a most loving lover………and besides, we all know what happens when they don’t…….don’t we, not that i had anything to do with it……….no, was always your own concern in the core of your own wise choice decision making that i set you on the path to how long ago?

    well ok, i confess, only the best is good enough for YOU

    that being ‘me’

    argh……this just seems all confusing to ‘me’ at times, as though…………………………………………………..

    i know you are still there, say something…………

  289. ok, let me ask you this……….

    when you pray, do you feel me praying too?

    am i that special pure love inside that you flawless feel the love you feel for me too, as i do?

  290. ok, so if it’s true, than meet with me on the steps Jesus walked on, as one purely meant for YOU

    i already know i am

    it is our compatibility that runs high in all the areas of physical mental emotional sexual spirituality

    still, as one who is of God, this is true of us all, where the mere difference is in their divine self awareness and the healthy choices approach they invite as we have been doing since when?

    look, i need the most loving lover i already am, in contantly being the sacred mirror of holy joyful absolute carefree happiness inside of us both, awaiting release, for sake of you, for sake of ‘me’, for sake of ALL, in what is ushering in of the kingom of heaven wise knowingness divine self awareness, i cannot do it alone, although i can do it with another, once of a search for one, or of God’s presenting me with one……………………and yes, i feel for Cody, more than i want to talk about right now, but he walked from everything we could of been in his knowing we should of been, perhaps of another who he connects with better than i, his own age, end of conversation, he knows i will always love him, just as i always did, his decision he made for himself……………ok?

    i am free now to see whoever i want, no one there…………

    time passes us by, and we do loose sight of one another, of others who come our way, all the waning seperationalists…………………..i like that word! :mrgreen:

    which is not necessarily what it means as relates to seperating us from one another, seperationalists who seperate us from our divine self i know of YOU and you ‘me’, yes?

    oh, i don’t know why you have not met with me yet, it’s all just so, well, insulting if you must know………..and lame, ya, lame lame lame, where in truth, you would have my clothes off before i even realize………i am naked

    in more ways than one………..

  291. fearlessly……………

    of what is another trueness aspect of the divine child of God eternal all YOU

  292. my patience with this mascarade is run out………..there is no more……….i am ‘real’

    as ‘real’ as i always was, fully restored 100%, i am

  293. +

    oneness sameness as YOU


  294. hey, that’s good, you don’t let anyone tell you how it is, not ever, as though they know you and so obviously don’t………and let’s face it, some of their questioning is absurd, in the realm of their unaware unwise hypocrisy shit for brains they mostly are of…………what?

    well, it’s true, is it not?

    so many fans who look to you in the world, and they are like not even spiritually in the same galaxy……………

    stay true to you and those you love in the same way of what is your genuine wiser self-love awareness you know, that others don’t even have an appreciation to hear about, the lamer, flamer, no brain container frustrainers! lol :mrgreen:

  295. is that a word, frustrainer?

    i like it! :mrgreen:

    i really should invent my own language, yes?

  296. i like to cut it short too, and ask them, “So tell me, are you a lamer, flamer, shamer, blamer container, or a no brain frustrainer? lol

    all of the above! haha

  297. ohhhh fuck, im turning into what i despise…….

  298. well ok, there are no time limits on eternal LOVE

    just on this body i dwell in………… know, i am like so friggin hot right now, body of a twenty year old!

    seriously, i am like wow!……….the twenty km bike riding a day is fantastic, of physical that directly affects the mental emotional SEXUAL and spiritual well BEing!

    ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!

    22 year old, ha, fuck that, i am younger looking than that!

    i don’t see what you see in his body type either, just not for me at all!!!!!!!!


    oh, he’s your boyfriend and not mine…………right……..we’ll just see about that one day!


    could not resist!

    nor could alot of gay guys out there who drool over him…………

    he should do some gay night club DJing if he really wants to join the party………….what?

    oh whatever………..

  299. i feel like one of those wild stallions in his holding cell, kicking the bars, breathing heavey, as he smells the mares waiting for him out in the field…………….. :mrgreen:

    my male side…………

    the female is like, no, gracefully, oh so sensually, tenderly, soft and gentle, truly making love like you want to always do………..and i’ll tell you when to speed up, got it? OK?



  300. OMG……… loosing my mind………………

  301. hey, do i bring out the male of you, or do you bring out the female of me?

    hey, i know, why not you dress as much male as possible, and i dress as much female as possible, and we’ll just see which one surrenders to the other first……….hmmm………likely me seducing you……..

    such joyful fun one has as their other sex……….i know so WELL

  302. i bet with the makeup artists you have, no one would ever know……….

  303. the kids would be like, “Mom, i hate say this, but you look better and seem happier as a man, and Dad, you too look way better and happier as a female! You know, you two really should be attending your transexual meetings you keep skipping out on all the time…….argh……you are both so obviously meant for each other, not much wonder you are both still together!


  304. and what about dressing as lesbians?

    or two gay guys?

    or two sketched out trannys?…………NOT


  305. ok, i am officially done with phony spirits of imitation……….

  306. well it’s just not there right now is it, maybe in a years time,
    wow where have i heard that before

    careful what you wish for

    but stop blaming others

    i am sincere, i cannot change what you command

    i can only

    love you

    as, you love me.

    & as i love you

    as i do

  307. remember YOU are 100% GOD

    as well all are, it’s in the knowing, that we ARE

    careful what what you wish for…

    so shall ye be

  308. a big queen bee


  309. i am the love that i want to always feel


  310. ya, obviously i need some time to get centered and grounded again, less emotionally all over the place, get my self confidence calm back, which takes time, as it has this past two years, better than i was

  311. healthy boundaries, do my writting and art work, peaceful, not hetic nescience

  312. i want to always feel that magical feeling i do in pure meditation calm pure true happy ‘real me’ at all times of constant at ease gentle loving flow

    COME ON, IT’S TIME TO GO! :mrgreen:

    same as you

    i know

  313. Dykes on bikes, always the Last Saturday of June…..if you wanna join, come and have fun mingling with family….i’ll be there, already, i am there…..oh, and that bike is still there in the window on Younge st……for anyone interested in riding it……that was a hint bi the way! :mrgreen:


    ok, back to study with God;

    getting back to Jan.15th, 2009, the post i spoke of with the female standing in the water, and the two flocks of birds, was posted at 1:13pm.

    i re-released the published post on Lithargoels blog….in you are interested in reading it again….i have not changed anything on it, of some interesting divine self introspection words i was of at the time, the date and time(bottom of post) are there on the post……coincidence?


    so many coincidences thoug, hundreds, if not thousands i may have overlooked……..

    the plane that landed in the Hudson River:

    On January 15, 2009, the flight was cleared for takeoff from Runway 4 at LaGuardia at 3:24:56 p.m. EST (20:24:56 UTC).

    interestingly as well, is the last pic i forgot i had posted there as well, perhaps of my subconscious memory seeking in returning to it again, as our memory is photographic of everything………. :mrgreen:

    i know where i constantly belong, and i know you do 2

    dwelling in the kingdom of heaven surround

    i am


    bless you bless you bless you all forever more

  314. i posted the links here at your blog just now, awaiting your moderation

  315. +

    i remember purely being of my pure meditative state that day, in name the post like i did at the time, and the impact of the place landing on the Hudson shortly there after, indeed of how everyone on the plane surely felt in landing safely, yes? :mrgreen:

    the published post is called;

    + + HOLY! HOLY! HOLY! is the BLESSED LIGHT!!!!!!! + +

    interesting as well are the four crosses in the title……..for sure, this was a spiritually pure day of my divine self awareness i love so much, in what is my continuation in coming fully into my eternal day light divine self awareness more and more, no desire for like i was once before, of uncertainty pervading transference from others that leaves us feeling toxic like it does, their shit, not mine……..nor do i ever want to be left feeling that way ever again, as though nothing………knowing i am what is the greatest value beyond all the riches of the worldly, of God who reveals this TRUTH, of eternal all YOU

    bless you and peace be to you all forever more
    and peace be to you


  316. everyone nice and cozy? minus 23 with the wind chill, so refreshing, yes? :mrgreen:

    my ski bum spirit

    ok, enjoy the blessed day, and remember, we only get so many of them, one less than we had yesterday……

  317. +

    i deserve what i constantly am, to feel only love at all times


  318. ++

    i recommend a smudging ritual before reading the post at Lithargoel’s blog……or some kind of spiritual cleansing one does of their meditative slowing into graceful pure YOU

    as the words are of the divine child of God’s eternal day light awareness day of atonement with God, a post baptism surrenderedness 100% to God while alone with God

    we are all born alone, die alone, sometimes live alone, and yet, none of us are ever alone, of God ever present with the divine child of God’s wise compassionate loving heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all YOU

    forever more

    bless you bless you bless you all

    give thanks to God alone who has drawn ‘me’ to ‘me’ of all thee set free


  319. ++

    peace be to you
    and peace be to you


  320. ++

    thank you God


  321. ++

    i am not waiting any longer for any of you who obviously are not interested in my by all you say and do, no one of genuine authentic willing desire holding my hand this day, of layering excusing excusing away like you all yet do, realizing it is pointless to keep on yearning away as i have all this time, for what yet is obvious, no one holding my hand.

    and so, i am leaving, to make myself available for another who may come my way and purely recognize the ‘me’ of them they too have been constantly yearning to fine one blessed day.

    i do not blame anyone for where we have all arrived this day, in what is sacredly pure of everyone at all times that indeed, we are all of the affect/effect/direct/indirectness of the entire human history past transferences of influences in where we all stand right now as we speak, together or apart with lovers and friends, all blessedly 100% of God we all constantly R, of God’s doing too, in drawing us to one another and each other along life’s blessed lover’s road.

    my thinking is this, in recalling each day i woke up when Troy was alive, of the bubbling feelings so pure so profound, my first thoughts of his name, that flooded my brain with only love that i always constantly yearned to always feel as i did, the sweet anticipation of the hour i would behold his face again, and well, when left alone, of the uncertainty that is of all you in my life this present day, feeling of the truth of no invite to see me this day, or indication of an exact day in the near future, i ask, “Is it not the truth that none of you purely 100% constantly desire to see ‘me’ as i did Troy like i constantly did as we speak this day?”


    i am setting my divine self free for another in God’s garden, as i cannot avoid this obvious truth no longer, that none of you purely want need think feel constant desire to constantly BE with ‘me’ as i did Troy, as i have some of you, as some of you purely did come know, i really really did, and yet do…..

    the pain on pain day after day of shattered dreams of the dreaming boy i am, is what it continues to do for ‘me’, leaving ‘me’ feel the obvious TRUTH i just don’t want to deny myself any more in what is obviously ‘real’

    you don’t really really want to BE with ‘me’

    so farewall….blah blah blah

    i gotto go and get on with a blessed pure ‘real’ constant loving life with someone who is of constant yearning wanting needing thinking and feeling flawless love feelings the 2 constantly feel as i do for ‘me’, ‘me’ of 2

    and if one day, some of you realize you made a mistake in letting ‘me’ pass you bi, well, i feel i waited sufficient time enough, beyond most any in life, was i not?

    anyway, pray only love for ‘me’ from now on, without doubt, i am deserving of what i constantly am, as you 2 constantly all R with one another and each other, as i constantly always am 2

    bless you bless you bless you all

    forever more

    love takes 2

    to hell with this blue

    just as you would do



  322. ++

    enjoy your excuses everyone, for what they are, and how they always left ‘me’ feeling

    of how anyone would feel when any of you do the whole boring lameass get the fuck from ‘me’ and stay the fuck away from ‘me’ motherfuckers!

    lol :mrgreen:

    fuck you!

    wish ‘me’ luck lamers :mrgreen:


  323. ++

    oh and please, save your excusing away words for your therapists, i heard them all before

    bless you and peace BE to you all forever more

    Just BE yOUR SELF! :mrgreen:


  324. ++

    ok God, i am ready for what i know you know i constantly yearningly desire and constantly yearingly am…….ONLY LOVE


  325. [without even fully realizing as they finally all turn around, Andyy vanished without a sound, knowing withOUT doubt s/he WILL return ONE blessed day of 1 happiness 2, same as all YOU]

  326. ++

    of God WILL, my WILL that i do 2


  327. ++

    time 2 let someone constantly chase ‘me’ the oneness sameness i feel, as them 2


  328. ++

    you need to work on constantly BEing ‘me’

    and already you are in this moment, whether you like it or no, in authentically not holding my hand as we speak, are you not?

    ok good, i am happy you finally fully understand ‘me’ now, as in always in the present now now now, right now, at all times, no matter where you r, there you R, always authentically living in the now, from now on 2



    or don’t, where all one has 2 do is merely ask y

    do as i do

    peace OUT Biyatches!


  329. ++

    BEing a wise Sage monk is not what people fully understand, as though they live as a hermit, abeit, initially as a hermit away from the unwise facade world, long enough to internalize divine self-love awareness wisdom to the extent the extrinsic forces of the world no longer troubles one who is wise, in their constant ability to fearlessly constantly peer apon the truth that is there, without need, nor desire for tiresome passive aggressive interaction with others, of preferred wise insightful assertiveness that now replaces their once before shortsightedness passive aggressive behavior they out grew.

    honestly, i just want tenderness of a lover’s presence in joyfulness each blessed day, of music, art, whatever we feel like doing, as surrendered spirits to one another utterly and completely free of any useless annoying doubtfulness that stems from the unwise bound world of the generational asleep in ignorance ones who sadly do not know why they yet feel so tormented inside in not having taken their one more step to grace that is actually, of their every step unknowingly at all times, of the divine child of any who are unknowingly yet snared by the mad flood drowing ignorances of non-conducive enviroments they find their divine self contending with time and time again and again, in what is of any cycle pattern behavioral.

    the greatest gift you can give to your own divine self, is permission for your own divine self to come forth as their exceeding graceful true ‘real’ self untethered by the annoying others who do not, and with ease, just walk away from any who do indeed feel toxic for the divine self of constant intuitive flawless healing feelings at all times, where it is by means of your feelings that you tune into and allow your divine self to feel, that you fully realize what is of any too loose flexible boundary setting you may unwisely allow to occur, where your blessed day is always a direct result of the decisions you make, constantly at all times, in finding your way back to your original divine self you all constantly always R within, no matter what anyone ever says or does……at all times

    Remember at all times, you are CONSTANTLY the divine child of God, where it is God who is KNOWINGLY CONSTANTLY summoning eternal all YOU to come fully into the wise compassionate loving divine true ‘real’ self-love awareness that God CONSTANTLY always knows at all times of eternal all YOU

    forever more

    blessed is the constant divine child of God YOU at all times

    bless you all

    no worries, i’ll keep writing my blogs, just doing away with the interactions at this time in constantly seeking another lover who is constantly seeking ‘me’ and stop with this endeavor that keeps leaving ‘me’ feel like i do for some time now, emptiness of no one holding my hand, such a simple thing that is EVERYTHING to ‘me’…….all i ever wanted, the at ease constant pure loving authentic ‘me’, same as all you

    as Troy says to ‘me’, “The Kingdom of Heaven is your feelings Andyy”

    ya…….i know

    i always knew, the whole time i was with you Troy, and you know too, our love that was always constantly true……we let them fuck it all up for us, didn’t we?

    bless you Troy
    and thank you
    i love you always
    and miss you so
    as you know
    what i we always know
    only love grows


  330. 8 hours, 49 minutes, 5 seconds to GO!

  331. hey, the queen bee cannot sting you, can they?

    only those male fuckers who sting the fuck out of you, yes? :mrgreen:

    hey, i picked the Dremel power router, with 100 different bits, sanders, brushes, so cool, does like variable speed, max 35,000 rpm, perfect for stone carving! love it!

    for sure, i should have enough piece for a show come spring, if the lover leaves ‘me’ alone long enough to get some work done that is………..speaking of being alone………..yet not ever alone, and in truth, sometimes it is better to be alone, yes? lol :mrgreen:

  332. how’s that go again, more than ten irreducible differences, and the relationship is most certainly doomed?

    oh yeah……..i have to keep reminding myself of ‘that’

  333. i’d rather be alone than deal with unloving behavior of another……………duh!

    an easy one

  334. and who do they hurt in the end anyway?…..only their divine true ‘real’ self of sincerity, integrity, trueness, honest, genuine, authentic……that the falsehood(s) self abandons in what is of unattendance neglectful self-harm false behaviorals…………..


  335. i told you the time someone(my roommate at the time) stole my stereo system with his drug buddies who cashed it in for drugs?

    the guy died later that week from drugs…….

    you know, i did not even know he was using, he hid it so well, either that or i was completely naive at the time………

    so who’s fools who when one self-harms only themselves?

    falsehood ego(s)?

    they fool only themselves, yes?

    not ‘me’

  336. hey, when someone supposedly close to you doesn’t even get you a birthday card or wish you a happy birthday, what kind of person does that?

    or how about they come up to you on your birthday and ask you for money so they can go do drugs?


    what the fuck?

    fuck that

  337. or how about the ones who steal from you on your birthday, of all days?

    believe it

  338. 4 hours, 21 minutes to GO!

  339. my therapist is right…………the drugs control them, they do not control the drugs…….

  340. argh………..a birthday to remember………….not

  341. what?

    well, God says speak the TRUTH

    i am the TRUTH that none can fool

  342. T-minus 4 hours, 12 minutes, 15 seconds to GO!

    we’ll just see who gives a fuck about Andyy

  343. where in the end…… is ‘me’ who gives a fuck about ‘me’, no matter anyone else……….

  344. A New Day ~ A New Life is about to unfold……….

  345. i am not shutting anyone out, i am letting them shut themselves out…………….

    4 hours, 9 minutes, 35 seconds to GO!

  346. i just need to know who my ‘real’ friends R

  347. after tomorrow, i am not letting anyone hurt ‘me’ ever again………..and as i said, they hurt only themselves……..

  348. God says i am to BE happy……….all the time!

    and if some lameass comes up to ‘me’ again with lameass ususal……..well, don’t expect a response.

  349. oh for fuck sakes……….the money is gone from my wallet…………surely i didn’t leave it at the store, did i?


  350. i have a question on my birthcay, who am i to be sad for, the one who steals or the one stolen from?

    hmmmm………..either way, it is sad all around, yes?

    fuckity fuckedup fucking fuck fuckers! lol :mrgreen:


    you taught that one…………..remember?

    ah well, they can’t steal my soul, belongs to God, where no one can steal from God, because if they were of the comprehension in order to be able to see what they are stealing, they would realize that what they are stealing, already belongs to them! :mrgreen:

    the ‘real’ problem is their not knowing they already have it as a gift they do not know they have, in what amounts to all their turning away from it, which is a loss, not a theft, sadly, how such wealth falls into such poverty ruin, yes?

  351. Ok God, i understand the story of the Pearl now, can we move on now?


    Ok, let’s see, to recap, those of seemingly higher financial wealth false status, are not wealthy at all, and those of lessor financial wealth false status, in esteeming those of higher financial wealth false status, are equally as foolish as the higher financial wealth false status quo fucktards, equally as sad the both are, where greater opportunity is with the lessor finacial wealth false status ones who are not so self-absurbed like they are, of utterly completely snared by the higher financial wealth false status quo fuctards they all run with, thereby more able to embrace what truly is of the greatest hidden treasure they shall ever find and already own, their own purity love flawless healing feeling divine true ‘real’ self YOU of eternal all YOU

    so don’t get caught up with the fucktards everyone, in thinking you need to keep up with the lure of it all, and know God’s unfailing TRUTH is constantly YOU


    i am hurt for the last time……………..

  352. and in TRUTH, no one actually hurts ‘me’ in the end, only themselves…………foolish one(s)

  353. am i a pawn?

    am i a rook?

    am i a knight on a horse? maybe i am the horse? :mrgreen:

    am i a bishop?

    am i a queen? :mrgreen:

    am i a king?

    i want to be king, no wait, i want to be queen, no wait, i want to be king and queen!!!!!!!!! lol :mrgreen:

    oh fuck this, i don’t want to play thier tiresome games anymore………..

  354. t minus 3 hours 32 minutes 55 seconds to GO!

    A New Day ~ A New Life

  355. blind leading the blind and they all fall off the cliff………….of only lessons to learn, sadly the hard way………as i already have long ago……….they don’t even listen to a word you say, mock and laugh at you actually……………making a mockery only of themselves………assholes

  356. oh ya right, compassion, i am to be compassionate……oh, let’s play the pitty party game one more time again………………….NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  357. my sword of TRUTH is drawn fuckers, and remains drawn apon all unTRUTHfulness fuckers!

  358. welcome to the valley of spiritual death everyone, i am host for the time being, so feel free to look around, and be sure to ask questions about TRUTH of unTRUTH(s) that is everywhere you look……………….where to BE sure, you won’t find ‘me’………..fuckers!

  359. A Catholic person steps up……….”Oh that’s not very Catholic of you.’

    and i say, “Fuck off! I’m not fucking Catholic, i am what the Catholics look for, the fucking TRUTH they keep fucking denying fuckers!”


    having a bad day today Andyy?

    actually no, best day of my life in realizing i really really cannot stay where untruthfulness willfully wants over ‘me’

  360. hey, what do you do when you love someone who does not love themselves enough in order to be able to love you?

    you don’t spare them the TRUTH, that’s how.

    and to be sure………i don’t

    TRUTH they have to come face to face with one day, sadly, a day that comes to late for many who do die from the reckless bullshit lie of the drug pushers who got these youths hooked into their little fucking cesspool of madness bullshit that leaves everyone bewilldered as to what the fuck is actually going on with their once beloved one?

    Sadly, they wear out their welcome with all their loved ones eventually, who were the ones that could of assisted them in building and maintaining their self-esteem, but when the outright steal from them, well, it is what it is, TRUTH they deny their own self to face the issue they keep avoiding………until Andyy comes along and says, “What the fuck is this? Huh? Oh, and that is ok for you to just go around and make someone feel unloved in what is all your unloving not of God behavior that serves death destruction and oppression of others including YOU?”

    You need to go to God and ask God for forgiveness that God cannot forgive anyone the TRUTH in saying it’s ok…………IT”S NOT OK FUCKERS!

  361. i think i’ll take my therapists advice now….”Stay away from them, they just take a little piece of you away each time.”

    for the LAST time Biyatches!

    what is it with fags anyway, they all fucking steal from each other…….ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

    beit wigs, money, property, boyfriends…………steal steal steal……………ya well they cannot steal my love, i mean how can anyone love being treated like that, unless you are a masocist……….hmmmm…….maybe i really really am a masocist, i mean there was always that leather harness thing that hangs from the ceiling i always fantazised about, and what of the who bondage thing i am so fascinated with, i mean they are fags, it’s not like they would ever hurt you physically or anything………………………………………let me get back to you on that………… :mrgreen:

  362. welcome to Lithargoel’s city………..where only Lithargoel really really knows what is actually going on with his loving fuckedup brothers and sisters…………Biyatches!

    so annoying, even to themselves………

  363. nice fucking birthday, yes?

    as Andyy throws their shit in the fucking garbage and bolts the fucking door………for the LAST time……..

  364. im taking a break…..a long walk in a random direction, anywhere but here….catch you all next year sometime

  365. FREEDOM in T-minus 7 minutes, 30 seconds

  366. oh ya guys, i just love how you come over to my house, tell me how much you love me, steal from my fucking wallet when my fucking back is turned, then fuck off all fucking night long, fucking someone else and show back up on my fucking door step on my fucking birthday?

    fuck right off!


    sorry, just some residual still lingering in my shoulder area……..ah, that’s better………i think that about covers it…….any questions fuckers?

    ok great, i am going to go enjoy my birthday in peace, and not look back at more of the same lameass shit time and time again i allowed myself to experience, far too long………….the first fucking time you did this to me, should of been the fucking LAST.

    unfucking unbelievable, and they are like all fucking sorry in your face the next day……..what’s that fucking song again, oh ya, Amanda Marshell, let me get it for you fucking head case loosers playing with my fucking heart you love twist the fucking truth around………

    what does Jesus call it? Oh yeah, twisting derranged souls, who take delight in twisting the truth, of all those of you who actually sit there and laugh about it………..i watched my mother put up with this shit for brains bullshit my entire fucking childhood fuckers!

    not with me you won’t

    believe it

  367. here you go fuckers! enjoy!

    no time for tears Biyatches! Not for the shit you keep throwing my way, belongs to you, keep it!

  368. oh look, it’s seven minutes into my fucking birthday, your out fucking someone else, and i am alone once again Biyatches!

    but not for long, and not with you


    ah, all better now, vent vent vent

  369. hmmmm………i don’t think the fully realized just who they were getting involved with, now uninvolved with………us trannys don’t take no shit Biyatches!

    most of you already know that by now

  370. any doubt i had of the TRUTH has now all been washed away with the morning rain as i return to the promised land of truthFULLness rules, God’s rules, my rules, for MY LIFE!

  371. please hang up…………this is a recording

    please hang up…………this is a recording

  372. i cannot BE anything else but the TRUTH i stand up 4

    according to God’s WILL that i do, standing up for ‘me’, standing up for eternal all YOU

    do as i do

  373. i think male ego mania is linked to male testosterone

    ya, it is, which is not a bad thing when sexual energies are channeled in a healthy positive way…….

  374. the light of humiliation TRUTH awakening summoning to TRUTH, is it not?

  375. i can’t believe i was so fucking naive……….at my age?

    apparently so……….not really, i mean, i sorta tuned into it early, just did not want to believe it, which has nothing to do with me actually, knowing how loving i am, where it is there own mechanical cycle behavior that keeps their focus, and in all honesty, they just move on to victimize another…………watched it along time now, studing so many, where year in and year out, they are still sketching around, which seems unbelievable a drug can be so powerful to such an extent, some of them six years of chronic using, some of them die, some go to prison, all of them of a self imposed prison they allow themselves to remain in, where if anything, i am the only one who actually makes pure sense to them, the ray of light they hold desperately onto of the TRUTH they don’t really want to let go of, as they are indeed sick of the cycle they contend with for so long like they do, where asking any of them, they all say they are so sick of it.

    they have professional teams they must work with………most people are just not qualified to assist in addressing the underlying issues that must be addressed eventually, as the toxic unresolved emotional issues stuff is dynamically what keeps one in stuckness………that can and does last an entire life time, albeit, not necessarily a long life for so many who do tragically die young.



  376. at some point we stop denying ourselves what we constantly yearn desire………….knowing without doubt, only love feels good enough to ALWAYS feel

    i am so done with the lame excusing away tyranny ones of pain on pain day after day, will keep my distance and observe clearly from afar next time, before getting too involved………………

  377. i may have played the role of the fool

    but God knows the TRUTH

    i am no fool

  378. best birthday gift i got this year i got from ‘me’…….in setting myself remainingly free to just BE my self that another along lover’s road WILL come to love ‘me’ WELL.

  379. only cowards run from the TRUTH in trying to hide

    according to God

    cannot hide from God

    none of you can, no matter if you think you can

    you cannot hide from TRUTH

    where TRUTH is of your divine child of God you all hold hostage like you all plodding along unwisely aimless haphazardly do, not realizing you are snared by generational binding invisible complex extrinsic forces of your subconscious snarings

  380. humble humilation of the falsehood snarings is the only way one is able to BEcome free of them, where it is your divine child within who fully realizes and embraces the TRUTH of the shortsighted falsehoods that do willfully want over your divine self, which at some point, the divine child does BEcome wisely aware of what already is their flawless intuitive feelings of knowingness clarity that does indeed constantly yearn to always feel thru the TRUTH of all unTRUTH(s)

    it is a process

    that spans our entire life beginning end

    beginning of TRUTH
    end of generational falsehoods

    one and the same door of awakening of the divine child who takes back control over all falsehoods of their process internalizing of TRUTHful wise articulate feelings that does see thru the bitter falsehoods that are cast back into the nothingness in which they came from, of how the nothingness falsehoods leave others to feel like it unwisely untruthfully does.

    at times, these untruths at times do hurt others, but only momentarily, of hurts that do pass, where in the end, it is only your divine self you end up hurting, when eventually, all the friends and loved ones you once had are no longer at your side, of you finally coming face to face with the TRUTH the divine child allowed themselves to ignore recklessly of so many, mostly themselves.

    child like joyfulness set free
    when childish immature let’s go of ‘me’

  381. you can only hurt someone for so long, where they just stop denying you in allowing you to continue to hurt them time and time again as they finally walk away to brighter day, trust destroyed, all of the empty falsehood lies.

    and so i ask, “Who is hurting who?

    only you

  382. as they laugh it all away………….at the devil’s play

  383. 2:00am……im going to sleep………….

    thanks for listening……… YOU

  384. as though i do not exist
    as though Jesus does not exist
    as though God does not exist

    ‘that’ of you that exists

    that does not allow us to exist

  385. thanks for fucking up my birthday


    thanks for not stopping by

    thanks for no more lie

    thanks for saying goodbye

    thanks for understandin y

    love andyy

  386. what’s worse, is the ugliness that you fucked up my birthday on purpose, as though that is what i deserve…….

    as though that is what you want for ‘me’
    as though that is what Jesus wants for ‘me’
    as though that is what God wants for ‘me’
    as though that is what i want for ‘me’

    as though fuckes!

  387. in the end, who humiliated who?

    not God
    not Jesus
    not ‘me’

    only you

  388. my love is TRUTH

  389. this is less about ‘me’ who was already free along time ago

    just ask Troy, he knows what i know too

    i am what he is to you, as though we do not exist

    because of what yet exists in this unwise world

    unwiseness of all falsehoods that willfully want over the divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul……TRUTH of the unTRUTH(s)…….snarings of death destruction and oppression sadly of so many, and not just of homosexuals 2

    the divine child of God within all purely constantly yearns to always feel the TRUTH

    where already, i am the TRUTH that sets one free, am i not?

    where all untruthfulness is, no one is able to purely find ‘me’, ‘me’ of you, so long as you turn towards untruthfulness in denying your own divine self the TRUTH

    am i not then…….you?

    one who became wise on the road of life ahead of you who contemplate ‘me’ well?

    surely i am not like some spell, am i?

    those who know ‘me’, love ‘me’ of you

    those who do not………thanks alot

    as even unTRUTH constantly serves the divine child of God ‘me’

    of clarity feelings see

    so do not ever ask y

    despise the lies
    despise the slys
    despise the plys
    despise the dies

    one who relives
    one who forgives
    one who seives
    one who lives

    …..oh fuck this, im going to the spa for my birthday fuckers!

    fuck you

  390. goodbye fuckers!

  391. trust destroyed

  392. oh so proud you must feel of ‘that’……..NOT

    lesson learned

  393. at what cost?

    cost of ‘me’

    the one you left to died

    a thousand thousand thousand deaths

    who sets you free

    that one is ‘me’

    same as all thee

  394. fucking jerks treading on my happiness time and time again………………….y ?

    because i allowed it

    no more

    i am officially done


    when i came back from deaths door way back when, i found myself struggling with ONE question, “y do i want to live?”


    from now on is good enough for ‘me’

    peace OUT Biyatches!

    and congrats on your asshole of the year award!


  395. i confess

    i deserve the best
    fuck the rest
    best best best

  396. i am the best

    that no one knows

  397. about ‘me’

    and best of all

    i really really am


  398. what the false self steals from another is all i am worth to the false self, yes?

    where in truth, the true self purely knows the true value of my constant TRUTH that serves them, yes?

    so why trouble one’s own divine self unnecessarily when i have served you WELL, have i not?

    is not obvious my love was TRUE?

    so why all the blue?

    be thankful i was there in your blessed path in setting the course correction

    and no, i am not some ressurection

    i am constant TRUTH

    of divine self eternal all YOU

    bless you all

  399. life is the greatest teacher

  400. God does not forbid ‘me’ from constantly feeling and speaking the TRUTH

    where in TRUTH, i can be no other WAY

    and certainly not the unTRUTHful WAY

    as in no WAY

    to my TRUTHful pure blessed flawless healing feeling constand divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of what is my sincere authentic genuine emotional honest safe TRUE LOVING LIFE WAY!


    it is not a matter of winning what we all constantly already are, so much as it is a matter of leaving behind the learned falsehood ‘that’ which keeps us losing

    so easy too

    just walk away

    and keep on walking

    do as i do

  401. some actually said i was of mid-life crisis…….

    ya, amid-life crisis of all in harms way of the mad flood generational drowning ignorances of death destruction and oppression of divine self eternal all YOU

    i have no tolerance, and to ‘me’, that is blessed, of what saved ‘me’ from the mad flood i too was once caught in, surrending to divine self-love awareness constant TRUTH, only love feels good enough to always feel.

    and when love is not there for ‘me’, well, that does not ever change the TRUTH that i am constantly loving, even when i am mad, of TRUTH i take time to speak.

    some just don’t get ‘me’
    and for sure, some just won’t get with ‘me’…..fuckers!

    ok…….im over it

    thanks for reminding ‘me’ of my ‘real’ self

  402. don’t despise ‘me’ for feeling and speaking the truth when i do


    despise ‘me’ for not feeling and speaking the truth when i do

    do as i do

  403. where even when one does not speak the truth, they are actually the TRUTH, in what is of TRUTH unTRUTH(s) when they do, are they not?

    everwhere is the truth

  404. in TRUTH, the difficulty for ‘me’ is that i love everyone inspite of themselves, of all those yet snared by falsehood(s)

    as Jesus constantly does
    as God constantly does
    as i constandly do

    but i do not enjoy their falsehood

    and if you study closely, nor does Jesus, nor does God, nor does the divine self of any of you, yes?

    ok then, it is not ever a matter of forgive and forget, is it?

    rather it is always a matter of divine self for giving and remembering TRUTH of divine self eternal all you, is it not?


    i’ll be on my way now, cannot stay where i am made to feel not welcomed, nor in TRUTH, should or do any of you

    forever more

    blessings to all

  405. argh…..i am so done with emotional tyranny nescience that always leaves me feeling so rattled when i allow myself to be of concern for falshood snarings of others…….time to be true to ‘me’, no more do i want nor desire the useless empty nothingness of the falsehood liars who actually do seem to take delight in hurting others, i mean, how is it they keep doing it over and over again and again of no concern whatsoever of the consequences of those they hurt like they keep doing?

    fuck that

    i deserve someone constantly constantly loving

    who i already am, only compatible with wise divine self of another, and yet, all are in transition summoning of God to wisdom, which is why i love everyone inspite of themselves, still, getting my needs met with those not capable of doing so, is what it is, there shit not mine


    hey, why do Catholics go to confess, and then go right back out and do the same thing again?

    oh yeah, the are Catholics, of the early Roman Empire church that sided with the Romans and rose up against all other uprisings, killing and slaughtering them for centuries, who they themselves did not have the full comprehension of God, in what they are, a scattered fractured incomplete group of fucking morons, as though wiser than ‘me’

  406. some fucking birthday…..supposed to be happy and joyous……..maybe next year

  407. you are all fucking lame to me now, ok?


  408. oh yeah i forgot……..i don’t exist

  409. ++

    oh and thanks so much for stealing from ‘me’ on my fucking birthday jerks, for the LAST time……..

    the lowest of the lowest of the empty nothingness you turned towards in attempting to love ‘me’ which you obviously do not in what is yet your outward appearance before one who is wisely of God

    the TRUTH
    the LIFE
    the WAY

    to everlasting LOVE, so long as we do not EVER deny our own divine self the fucking hurtful lameass motherfucking useless annoying absurd TRUTH of the unTRUTH false lying prying denying dying one

    death to ego


  410. At the heart’s core
    abides in all, peace
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

    At the heart’s core
    abides in all, truth
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

    At the heart’s core
    abides in all, love
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

    At the heart’s core
    abides in all, ‘me’
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

    Athe the heart’s core
    abides in all, free
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

  411. At the heart’s core
    abides in all, Jesus
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

    At the heart’s core
    abides in all, Light
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

    At the heart’s core
    abides in all, God
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

    At the heart’s core
    abides in all, You
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

    At the heart’s core
    abides in all, Willing
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

    At the heart’s core
    abides in all, surrending
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

    At the heart’s core
    abides in all, Perfecting
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

    At the heart’s core
    abides in all, Heaven’s
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

    At the heart’s core
    abides in all, Lover’s
    love love love galore
    wanting wanting wanting more

  412. ++

    The greatest hidden treasure one looks for, they already have, is who you all purely are within at all times.

    Do not deny the TRUTH of what is constantly purely always true of the divine self all YOU in what is of the only value of the Blessed Life of the divine child of God all YOU………..Only Love

    Woe to all you who speak of greater value than the flawless healing feelings of the divine child of God eternal all YOU, leading your divine self and others away from TRUTH of the divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul, where already you purely already know the TRUTH of the flawless feelings in knowing who you really really R

    Loved by God
    Loved by Jesus
    Loved by all who know the divine true ‘real’ YOU, as Jesus and God know YOU

    bless you bless you bless you all


  413. so stop wasting my motherfucking time with anything other than LOVE fuckers!

    got it?


    ………….fucking morons






  415. Hello

    Can you please pay your outstanding phycoligist bill ?

    I don’t wont you to become in debt wih me …

    in the red, i have enough trouble with you being in the Black

  416. oh very funny…….

  417. just trying to keep up…….

    get it…..keep up?

    oh never mine………

    lol :mrgreen:

  418. ohhhhhh the peper ghost …in the sky !

  419. … oooops

  420. Up I get it… Lol…

    it was funny but … i must be blosseming..

  421. Opening wide the soul

    what is there to hide from?

    with IN TRUTH?

    with OUT TRUTH?

    It is IN to BE OUT!

    It is good to BE within what is OUT!

    It is not good to BE without what is IN!

    as in, IN OUT IN OUT IN OUT IN

    i want always to BE IN when i am OUT!

    honestly! i want to know, are we ever going fuck someday? :mrgreen:

    Do you still think of ‘me’ when you are with him?

    I have a problem, i like big penises!

    well ok, it is not like a problem problem

    just a problem finding big penises that don’t belong to someone else.

    i mean ya, sometimes i borrow them from another from time to time, but i dreaded it when i am the one left with OUT!

    and that is just not IN for ‘me’!

    hours of making love is what i enjoy most in life.

    especially of the hot tub spa, sauna too…….steam bath, swimming pool, car, airplanes, out doors too!

    and in bed sometimes, been awhile since i tryed that……

    and besides, you said you want 2

    i look at this way,

    if you really really are of pure self-love of YOU
    then you can make love 2 ‘me’ 2, same as i do YOU

    and if not, well, i cannot lie, i love getting fucked with a big penis, and as you know, i do not deny my self TRUTH

    nor do alot of them around hear cum to think of it……….

    still, i am an exclusive lover, of surrendered feelings i want to feel for only one, where all you have to do, is fuck ‘me’ once and awhile, same as i do YOU!

    so what do you want to do?

    ‘me’ or YOU?

    lol :mrgreen:

    i love doing ‘me’ who is the same as YOU

    and ‘that’ is the TRUTH

    of twins with such profound real real self-love for one another, to get them apart, it always takes 2!

    when one just won’t do

    although i am 2…….2

    ok, so let’s say we really really R 4 it?

    try EROS bodyglide, not spit!

    argh……………cannot live with OUT it!

    you should try it on your c…………:mrgreen:

    talk dirty to ‘me’…………..please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    lol :mrgreen:

  422. opppssss………i exrated the blog…………again…………

  423. you know, the bisexual crowd are the coolest people, so relaxed in talking at ease about their sexuality with one another, always smiling, ………..AL-WAYS!

    they have a few bisexual groups here in the city who get 2 gather, and i am like the most happy around them, not all these anal retentive queens and all their whatevers, including mr.notevers!

    and yes, i still believe a besexual lesbian and a bisexual gay are the most suited for one another, where it is only the bisexual crowd who openly talk about it so easily with one another, all of us there, males and females, gay and lesbian bisexual group discussion…………still with ‘me’?

    when i first joined, i was like so afraid inside, until they started talking so relaxed about it, and OUT i came…..blossoming……feeling so good to feel ok about my bisexuality transexuality.

    they have a club here, of cool bisexual transexual gay lesbian kink crowd, who all are of self journey discovery, some just blooming, some out for some time, their smiling faces a pure reflection of ‘me’

    and it’s not like raunch sex slave bullshit either, no, they really are so loving, so relaxed, which is the only way to BE.

    the thing is, people automatically stereotypically think, “oh, bisexual eh? Can not be trusted, the kink crowd, and i am like, no motherfucker, you are the one in denial!”

    love making is of loving someone’s entire body, and for those not understanding what anal orgasm is, well, sex101 is down the hall……………

    blossoming WELL, yes? :mrgreen:

    it is not about false homosexual meets false heterosexual


    it is about genuine bisexual meets genuine bisexual

    that is who i purely am


  424. so remember morons…….when you are ta booing ‘me’, it is really you who is not free!

  425. in other words, if you do not openly purely love ‘me’, then you don’t purely love everything there is to discover, know and love about your own self!

    so explore ‘me’……………please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    damn…….im begging again………argh…………

  426. made ya smile! :mrgreen:

  427. hey, did you know Brandon Teena could not join the Army, because s/he failed the written entrance exam by claiming to be male………

    Brandon was hiding under the bed when the perps came looking to kill him/her.

    i cannot wonder if Brandon was on a death wish sorta mission of sorts, having been raped as a child, given what we know of the subconsious research of projection identification transference.

    my babysitter had sex with me as a small child, but i don’t recall it being traumatic in experience(frightful violence), of what i remember, 2 or 3 years old, other than the traumatic experience of my mom finding out when i told her, her throwing me in the car, not closing the door properly, me falling out when she backed up really fast, going under the car, her stopping just in time as the wheel was just about to go over my head………..ya, that traumatized the fuck out of me! fuck!

    i was screaming my ass off!


    i did meet my perp later in life, who asked me if i remembered him?, and i did, and i got all fucked up inside, of intense emotional i don’t know what you would call it, and this was long after i came out too, perhaps some therapy work i have yet to explore………….

    anyway, i am who i am, and i 100% love who i constantly am, where my problem……anyone’s problem……is finding someone to constantly love ‘me’ the same way i do my own self, and self of another.

    where constant is trueness aspect wisdom to turn fully towards, where anything else is childish immature, which i am at times, but usually only when i am unwisely provoked with transference, and yes, i tend to latch on to people quickly, without descerning if they are healthy for me or not, perhaps of the healthy ones avoiding someone(me) as a potential partner, leaving me no option, or so i think, what with what is of anyone who’s needy in getting their needs met

    this is actually the single most contributing factor i find, with the drug culture crowd, birds of a feather so to speak, who by nature, are drawn towards one another in getting their needs met, and how they all play the codependancy thing with one another, all of it, dynamically driven…………

    anyway, just abit more about ‘me’

  428. I do think of you all the time when i’m with him, does my head in for how long now but yer i have no doubt we will one day, you know i’ve come to realise you cannot rush these things & im not making exscuses its just the true reality of it, everyone has to deal with their stuff first and looking at the greater picture i know i have a couple of experiences i have yet to experience.. if i don’t to that first then it will get in the way of us & that’s certainly not benificial for a monogomous relationship so yer patience my dear est your not going to get me until i am 100% confident within myself that i am 100% pure for you because i ain’t gonna hurt my dear est..

    by the way how big is big ?

    oh never mind..

    don’t worry LOL…

    i’m not talking dirty to you well not today anyway, make a deal i want 7 hrs of cuddles for everytime i fuck you scensless thrusting you up against the wall, the floor the bed the spa the shower the dinner table, the kitchen bench in the back yard back of the car in front of the fireplace, in the closet.., maybe not the closet ..

    oh my i get carried away sometimes..

    ok well satisfied yet.. ?

    ok want some more ?

    can i have a 5 minute break 🙂

  429. maybe what happened to me as a child, is what was cause for the constant complex i always had and could not shake all thru school?

    i don’t know, have not told my therapist about the childhood incident, perhaps not ready to talk about it, where in honesty, i don’t even remember much about it all, perhaps a mental block, i don’t know, and maybe i should be reading up on it…………

    i’ve always had this sorta self conscious complex of low self-image, even today at time, it is still there, depending on if i have had the right amount of sleep, the whole distancing thing, preferring to be alone alot, more so than with others at times, relaxed, no one there to make me feel anything i don’t want to feel, like i am now, comfortable away from the retarded world, for now, do some healing, get back in the ring eventually, got me some serious motherfucking boots now to deal with pretty much anyone, fearlessly, truthfully, unafraid……..yet afraid……..

    you know, the think is with victims, is the TRUTH, that they are not crazy at all, rather, like i say to others, in explaining there is no such thing as crazy, using an example, “You see that person over there, acting all crazy and such? Do you know them and do you know why they are like that? In TRUTH, they are not crazy at all, as i do know them, and two weeks ago someone rapped them……………….


    none of us are crazy


    perfectly normal according to how their blessed journey of life has been for them, of what is always of their every day, in what was of their everyday up till today…….where it is always today, that we can all use more love in our world.

    which is not to say individuals who do experience harsh experiences are in danger of self-harm, in what is of post traumatic disorders, where they must turn fully to self-wisdom in establishing healthy choices of friends and lovers, and in maintaining constant awareness of toxic behavioral others in giving 100% permission to themselves, no one else, as to who feels good for them and who does not, always of YOUR LIFE, no one elses, where even when we are less aware, eventually over time, we become aware as toxicity builds up, and out we come, ranting ranting ranting…………. :mrgreen:

    always of a direct cause/effect reason of innappropriate others, where even then, no one is really to blame, as Jesus says, “blame the forefathers before you all.”

    ya, it’s true, all of today’s behavioral is from the beginning, handed down to each day today…….

    where the only time we can change the world………is ALWAYS TODAY.

    forever more

  430. Starting with our own blessed divine true ‘real’ Self, and then others…….in what is the only way…….Self-Love = Self-Love of others.

    i have alot of Self-Love, in case anyone is wondering! :mrgreen:

    hint hint hint


  431. how big is big?

    ah, can i say it here?

    12 inches, not to thick, but not too narrow either

    there, i said it……….

    im not into all those body insertion things either, no, love making that makes me start taking my closes off whether i am alone with them or in public, you know, that whole intense passionate uncontainable excitement thing day after day that makes life waking up 2, always with a smile?

  432. wow, you know, i was stuggling so hard about who you are, so pure in feeling, in trying to understand myself as relates to being purely drawn to what is of your purity level…………and today for the first time, you make sense to me like never before, of honest openness that indeed, i too have these emotional abreaction things, mostly of needs not being met to a sufficient level, avoidance mode for sometime lately, although eagerness level is now overflowing, not so toxic as before with the brow beating ex, who mentally imprisoned me, where i did not know it……….not all bad, no, i am not all or none thinking and behaving, well ok, not all the time…… lol

  433. thrusting senseless up against the wall……….uhm……….do you read minds or something?

    i was praying for that kinda you, just to shy to ask all this time, not sure why, i mean, what of the one who sets the bar up on high sexual desire is a good thing for all the world to feel?

    i was thinking about that today, how dynamically is the world changing thru us all, and the enlightened ones who wisely know the direction they cathardically massage evoke in us?

  434. oh for fuck sakes, you want a five minute break just when i want to……………..argh……… are perfect for me!

    blossoming is not the correct word…………..



    7 hours of cuddling, ha, more like 7 hours of professional massage attendants, a doctor, a nurse running around frantic because she cannot find the clamp to stop the bleeding, and you there holding my fucking hand saying over and over again, “You ok dearest?”

    and me of course, realizing, i just may have bitten off more than i can handle…………NOT!!!!!!!!

    oh for sure, i love fireplace cuddling, quiet, alone, don’t even care to read much any more, seems it is all the same thing with everyone, searching for what i already know they are subconsciously all seeking……….Constant Emotional Honesty Safety Surrendering………with another wisely of pure surrendering too, for sake of me, for sake of you


    people who go around entertaining more than one lover are morons, their own worse enemy, in my opinion……indicative of their own low self-esteem, are they not, promiscuity directly linked to low self-esteem, among other things………..

    for sure, faith is restored, in what i feel is you leading me to me all this time………….growing year in and year out, of best friends who in the Heart’s core of us both, there is and has not really purely ever been an element of doubt to come between us strong enough to cast us away from one another permanently, what you all patience, what is actually of the process of Constant Emotional Honesty Safety Surrendering to your own pure self, pure self of another.

    i have no one i am entertaining right now as a potential partner, where they have to get to a certaint point responsibly before they make the list, albeit, at times i move that boundary around in exploring others……….which is always adjustable according to what i see occuring with them, in the healty direction or not, choice is always up to them, that no one can make for them.

    already i am of full surrendered spirit of my pure self in the sanctuary, for along time now actually, decades……where enough time spent found me purely truly realizing fully my own eternal day light of divine self, according my atonement with God.

    God is a sensitive subject, that i don’t want others to get freaked out by, where i truth, i am merely of the curious humble open minded student i always was and yet am, where i am not going to rule out the existence of God, just as i am sure God would not rule us out, in what to me amounts to what is of the evading higher subtle intellect awareness that does indeed, espcape pretty much everyone, and in truth, no one, because the higher subtle intellect is actually cognitive awareness awakening of our subconscious always awake higher self

    for me, you are my higher self

    and for you, i realize i am compatible for your higher self, of constant yearning of only love for you that i am already surrendered to within, surrendering to my own self, in order to do so……..

    there is no way for us to come together or stay together, unless we are both of the wiser surrendered self-actualization of our higher self coming forth towards one another, the disaming that needs to process thru, however long it takes, not a question of patience really, rather a question of knowingness certainty of our own self awareness, no different than another, without all the annoyances of the layering facades that can and do become disarmed, when true blue love comes our way, only possible when love is 100% of 2, not just one, in constant yearning desire for the FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!

    [as Andyy belines it for the door, trying to get away from his big fat cat that loves fucking Andyy’s brains out everyday!]

    LOL :mrgreen:

    made ya laugh

    your turn……

  435. Rosie is like, “omg, these two are actually finally opening up and talking to one another, after how long now?”

    since the beginning of time Rosie! :mrgreen:

    where neither of us have time for the lameass excusing ones any more in all their dysfunctional whatevers, how about not ever?!!!!!!!!!!!!


  436. i jest……………

    everyone is of the fear within to surrender completely without doubt to their own sensing of Emotional Honesty Safety, where everyone’s life is different than anothers, where everyone lands differently on the scale of surrendering process to one’s own Emotional Honesty Safety, that all hinges on everyone they are in contact with each blessed day they wake to…….

    ALL are PURELY the INTUITUVE divine child of God according to God

    Those of the high places and paths of the world, do have a direct link to the divine child within everyone, at all times, and so, the healthier those of the high places and paths, dearest, is without doubt my single greatest motivation empowerment for sake of ‘me’ first Biyatches, and of cousre, my most beloved loving dearest of all loves 2, and ALL YOU.

    according to God, the sacred mirror awareness within us all, in what is of wise awakening process of eternal day light of divine self, is what is of ushering in the kingdom of heaven wise true loving halo, where those who are in process, as all are, at some point come over a threshold of awareness, that is devoid of all elements of useless absurd doubt that stems from the generational unawareness fearful dark mad flood drowing binding in nature ignorances.

    Clarity of sight is by merely by means of our constant flawless intuitive feeling that is 100% of every divine child of God at all times, same within you, same within another, absurd to think other wise……..

    oneness sameness, is what has been the most beautiful of all explorations i have been researching of Jesus for two decades now, and in truth, common sense here, as the life of Jesus is what is of the affect/effect/direct/indirectness across time till now, in truth, since i was born, in what is of oneness sameness intuitive purity of the flawless healing feeling divine child of God of us ALL

    it is most beautiful of all times in human history, hear, right now, of what is our global coming together natural occuring oneness sameness awareness we are all experiencing each blessed day, with the advent of facebook and other online communities, we are ALL witnessing the oneness sameness intuitive pure flawless healing feeling divine child of God, across all the useless barrier of unwise false seperation, ALL of us of constant yearning desire for……..Only Love.

    the future is unfolding as it should, and shall, without doubt, Love conquers all thing.

    i kept questioning over and over, what is it God wants for us all as relates to this so called ushering in of the Kingdom of Heaven?

    slowly i put more of the pieces together, more and more, drawn into the work more and more, not obsessed, no, rather of what my own processing going on in coming fully into what God knew full well is of the oneness sameness intuitive connectedness God is aware of us all, and i did surrender my life to God over everyone else in esteeming God as (obviously) wiser than anyone, and yet, all are capable of the oneness sameness intuitiveness of constant yearning for only love trueness aspect of every single one of us, no matter who you are, blind, autistic…..there are no barriers in the kingdom of heaven wise halo awareness TRUTH of the true divine child of God eternal all YOU, where it is by means of yOUR constant flawless healing feelings, that we all purely do always know……..the constant TRUTH

    bless you and peace be to you always and forever more

    i have to go find my cat………. :mrgreen:

    ok, i am hear, and unless i get hit by a bus, and even then, i am always hear!

    and in truth, so are the affect/effects/direct/indirectness of Jesus and Mary, and all those who came to purely know the divine self of Jesus and Mary, in what is oneness samenes constant TRUTH of the trueness aspects Jesus, Mary, God and all you purely reall really do KNOW, even of those who do not know, yet, it is there.

    bless you bless you bless you all

    forever more

    only love

    from now on

    is good enough for the divine child of God YOU

    the ‘me’ of 2

  437. Happiness is ‘me’ of all thee, when ever i see any of you Happy

    did the whole sad thing……..nearly killed me, a few times, come to think of it……………….

  438. ya, your are right, the true reality of it, and in truth, i have sensed your ‘real’ self struggling with it all this time, realizing, i have not at times been conducive for either of us, the arming disarming back and forth, my shit meets your shit clashing, we all fall down……send in the clowns……… know, i was so sad over Troy, i forced myself to think what woud be happy, hence the clown i remade from the Girly Show, thinking, i could not possibly unhappy wearing it, and still, i broke down at the end of the parade and cryed the necessary tears of healing i still yet cry, always questioning all this time……y?

    i know y

    Jesus tells me y

    blame ‘only’ the forefathers of yesteryear, where the only time we blaming them, is when we all stop blaming our own divine self…………

    which i don’t any more…….albeit, the things that were unforgivable, like the binge drinking contributor i once was of in Troy’s life, is of TRUTH that i not ever forgivable, and not exemptable, and yet, where did i learn that from?

    the forefathers

    still, i am guilty of ‘that’

    eternally humbled before Troy, Mary, Jesus, God, and all YOU

    where in truth, it is only Troy who can ever forgive ‘me’, or perhaps what he did was give ‘me’ to all YOU?

    if you can put up with ‘me’ that is, now and again, of my breakdowns that come out of nowhere like they yet do, revealing what matters most, only love……of 2

    4 is even better……….oh, get your mind out of the gutter, i didn’t mean it that way, as in now way!

    either exculsively ‘me’……..or forget it!

    got it?


    blessed is the flawless healing feeling divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all YOU

    forever more

  439. correction

    blame ‘only’ the forefathers of yesteryear, where the only time we can ever fully stop blaming them, is when we all stop blaming our own divine self, in realizing fully, they too had someone to blame, the forefathers again, in what is of all learned behavioral generational mad flood drowning falsehoods handed down again and again, in what dynamically amounts to fear of our intuitive inability ability to wisely surrender to what already truly is of our constant love without doubt sustaining of love no one wants to ever live without, that stops all the pain, of any of you out there feeling, it always feels like rain, of pain on pain.


    You are the divine loving child of God according to God, according to Jesus who knew God, of God who truly is the only one who purely 100% at all times KNOWS YOU and all your feelings………at all times.

    Just as i have come to purely know so many of YOU

    doing as i do

    did you know there are more single people than couples?


  440. i want need think feel only for YOU to constantly love ‘me’ as i constantly love YOU


    and when i appear as though i do not, just ask ‘me’ what’s wrong, and i will speak honestly exactly what is troubling ‘me’, praying the same from you………at all times.

    there can BE now other way, than open honest communications at all times, that validates us, keeps us anchored, keeps us centered, keeps us constantly feeling authentic, less the falsehood nescient annoying bitter painful uncertainty repetitive old tape voices within are allowed back in to demonize us like, only if we allow them 2, REMEMBER, always untrue of any of YOU

    Only Love is Who

    Only Love is YOU

  441. ‘ i’ve come to realise you cannot rush these things’


    thank you for your honesty

    beginning end, honesty, the same door to YOU

  442. in truth, i came up against Troy’s intuitive flawless healing feeling divine child of God, dynamically unknowingly asleep in low shortsighted awareness plodding along like most any who do, not really that wise of anything in psychology or spirituality at the time, as far as alert awareness goes, so in TRUTH, i was in the wrong, and emotionally Troy was of the intuitive flawless feelings of my abandonment wronging i was of in walking away from him, having had too much pain on pain in sharing him with his girlfriend since we met all the time, a wonder actually i hung in as long as i did, but i loved him, knowing i always would, where we failed in sitting down together and really really talking things thru, the whole cycle pattern party behaviorals circling about of the others on the scene, on and on it went, out of control, got scared, jumped out as they kept going………….the 18 bottles of beer Troy drank that day, a dollar in his pocket, feeling that way, alcohol the real demon of severe depressant, coupled with low health improper diet, apparently Christmas plays into it as well, so they tell me, for alot of people, and to top it off, the love of his homosexual self, walked away……………

    i didn’t really really walk away, just as no one can simply shut down the love the come to feel and know they feel for someone that built up for however long they were loving with one another, no, i lyed about that in walking away………………………………….

    the two of us never sat down to talk heart to heart……………………

    we failed each other, fearfully i realized later, in what they call the ‘internal homophobia dynamic’ that results in exterior homophobia, past present future………blame the forefather taboos…….i do

    it was the alcohol

    listed in the medical books as a depressant
    it also shuts down rational expansive thinking, replaced with the lessor irrational false self thinking, barely able to string three words together, like most anyone we see get overly intoxicated

    add in an impulse thought of suicide, with a kid who was predisposed with the condition of low impulse control ability of their brain, a chemical brain disorder, ADHD, an RK kid, and well, it is what it is, and what happened…………tragically, Troy died as a result of mad flood drowning ignorances………..God’s TRUTH

    i don’t know much of anything really at the time, other than my own pain of dealing with his internal homophobia, as well as my own

    did you know, i did not even know there was a gay community the whole time i was with Troy?

    did not inquire, no idea, till the last six months…………

    unbelievable………..not much wonder at all what happened…………why i march year after year, beating the drum, waking them up………and to sit it out, for me, is like a crime, where Troy cannot march, knowing i can, and i must………..

    slowly the guilt thing disolved as i healed, and yet, i cannot ever completely heal what i lost………the love in my heart where he still dwells…….always, till my last breath, last heartbeat, last word, last step………..

    for sake of those like Troy who are always out there, same as what we went thru, going thru it as we speak…..

    it has changed so much from before, so so much

    we were all so full of raging angst back then, remember?

    ya, i know what the kingdom of heaven is


    by means of what it is not

    God bless you Troy












    and what did Jesus do?

    he spoke TRUTH

    God bless you Jesus

  444. I think what the term litteraly mean is bullshit, it shouldn’t be up to the queen for how long someone should be in prison. That is not justice. But to use the phrase in a line is creative and fun.

  445. Started a new Facebook Gay Pride Group for the world of friends family friends to join.

    A great song that is reflective for some of us within yet struggling in coming out along our homosexual path into the joyful future unfolding. Don’t stop looking to where you all know you all purely belong and r accepted at all times, with those just like you every day, just as you always are, constantly knowing only love feels good enough to always feel and constantly BE who YOU always are in my heart, just like me, every moment of every blessed day, no matter what any ever have to falsely say, or not say, or do against us, of those who do not know us or desire to purely know us like WE ALL DO!
    i love all of you at all times, no matter orientaton, and so do all YOU! in TRUTH, same same same same LGBT worldwide, now estimate at one billion of us, 10-15% of the world population now at 6.7 billion soul, here in the year 2010.

    bless you all

  446. of 6.7 billion bisexuals……’that’ is :mrgreen:

  447. hey, they came up with a new Gay Visual Test for males, for them to come into awareness as to whether they may or may not be conclusively gay or straight….wanna see?

    Oh, come boys, check and see if you have homoerotic suppressed feelings or not.

    made ya smile…… :mrgreen:

    your turn

  448. Cool, Love your site<3

  449. It’s positive that celebrities have blogs.

  450. ))…

  451. may be not, puisqu’ il s’ agit peut-être d’ un art du piège ((
    paul parce que c ‘est mon deuxième prénom
    et ma bétise était de vous mentir assez peu

  452. im disappointed, that you put down a special someone on the weekend. surely your not like this, personally i don’t know you, but from what i’ve heard your decent (compliment on my behalf). well i do hope you make it up to him.


  453. Verbal abuse (also called reviling) is a form of abusive behavior involving the use of language. It is a form of profanity that can occur with or without the use of expletives. While oral communication is the most common form of verbal abuse, it includes abusive words in written form

    Verbal abuse is a pattern of behavior that can seriously interfere with one’s positive emotional development and, over time, can lead to significant detriment to one’s self-esteem, emotional well-being, and physical state. It has been further described as an ongoing emotional environment organized by the abuser for the purposes of control.

    The underlying factor in the dynamic of abuse can be viewed as the abuser’s low regard for him- or herself. As the abuser may fear not being “good enough” and/or meeting other’s expectations, the abuser may attempt to place their victim in the position to feel or believe similar things about him or her self.

  454. I’ll write areally cool song this weekend & I’ll sent it to Madonna she if she’s interested in marketing it as her own, I only ask that she donate 1/2 the procces to Malwai & the other 1/2 to Aids research ..

    Ok Andy

    Happy with that

    but genuine research not this stupid blood boiling stuff

    you make my blood boil sometimes Andy

  455. i 100% agree

    especially of the one who said,”Maybe in about ten years.”

    how damning a thing to say to an individual’s self esteem could that potential be?

    100%, is it not?

    absolutely was the most wretched horridly damning anyone has ever said to ‘me’

    would i want someone of this kind of mental abuse cyber bullying around my kids?


    i may change my mind……..but i doubt it

    ya, that’s how immature and homophobic you are towards someone you choose to paint the way you do.

    i know what you think of me Marco

    and i don’t want to extend my trust to you any more, as someone i deem as really immature homophobia, not to be trusted and the ridiculing of Jesus, God and me though confirmed what my pro team said to me regarding you, that you are egocentric.

    so go do you all important film that is more important than my research……………..the final straw, that now places you off my friendship list.

    i figured you would not extend yourself in assisting me, what with your egocentricity that is more valuable to you than ‘me’ and all those dying from HIV

    i despise the hypocrisy heart you hypocrites enjoy dwelling in like you obviously do, of Jesus and God’s instruction to do so………..100%

    mark my words, our beautiful kids will walk in beautiful satin rainbow colored outfits beside me one day, where there are many who do want to have babies with me, like Stephanie and i want to. Whatever the cost of sperm scrubbing, im sure it’s not that much, and i am proceeding with that, in realizing i can live an ok life for many years to come, and for sure, my mental fortitude is great.


    the HIV during seroconversion drops your ability to feel as healthy as a normal person feels, although there are momentary moments of feeling almost as good, where my regimented biking exercise, diet and rest are manditory in this.

    as one who is of God, i feel i am the one who is of the fortitude of required motivational empowering confidence to find the HIV CURE……although i may not find it in my life time, i will at least make an attempt as many are, and leave behind my research for others to follow up on.

    as for making my friend list in the future, for sure, anyone who is as mentally abusive towards me as you have been Marco, will not be allowed near me or my kids.

    i am relieved to avoid you in life as a potential partner, where for sure, i would likely have endured the same dysfunctional egocentricity you chose to be and are…………not with my kids you won’t.

    i am not going to share any more of my words of Jesus and God with those who throw them un a dung heap as though insignificant.

    i ask, how would you feel Marco, if i said the things you said to me?

    fuck off, right?

    that is my answer to you

  456. obviously i am bitter, but i don’t see that i am wrongfully acusing you of damaging my self-esteem that did contribute to my vulnerable desperate high risk behavior

    so thank you Marco for your cyber-bullying, that my pro team pointed out to me last year, that i failed to listen to the right people, in their telling me to do anything but entertain this yet cyber-bullying egocentric person, you

    ah well, i suppose it is not such a bad thing for my vulnerable divine true self to esteem others more than they are in outward appearance, just as Jesus does.

    and look how they treated Jesus


    well, you too treated me horridly Marco, with crushing and damning words like you did and yet do, and for sure, it was cause some kind of subconscious damage that Jesus and God are able to repair, in telling me to beware of those snared by generational drowning ignorances.

    i don’t trust you any more, and evidently, nor should i have

    without faith in ‘me’
    how can one have hope in you like the willingness of Jesus, God and i to do so?

    i am not extending my trust to any more

    nor should anyone who says such horrid homophobic mind fucking you were towards me and everyone of the LGBT community.

    as Jesus and God said, you humiliate mock only yourself in your attempts to ridicule mock Jesus, God and ‘me’

    i have nothing further to say to you

  457. i will not return where untruthfulness thrives in those like you

  458. I AM 100% ALL of God’s Powerful unfailing eternal divine self-love awareness TRUTH LIGHT at all times, shining forth nuturing, awakening, and untruth revealing protection of the eternal divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all YOU, where none shall become wretchedly unknowingly ignorantantly falsely victorious over ‘me’ in clarity revealing of all ugliness and horride falsity malice of the damning hypocrisy hearts so many of you relish in joyful delight dwelling in untruth like you do.

    it is not possible for any of you to become victorious over the eternal truth of ‘me’ that i constantly am, of fools who unwisely think they can, just as those who thought they could become victorious over the eternal spirit of Jesus who is of my heart mind body spirit and soul at all times, always there within ‘me’

    what most of you do not purely realize is that all your generational damning untruth is what is the wise descerning kingdom of heaven halo perspective that constantly serves the fully awake, nurtured, and protected eternal spirit of the divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all you

    i greet you all in peace, grace, love and happines i constantly am within in constantly BEing what i am within in outward appearance.

    do not doubt the eternal truth i speak, that none of you shall ever become victorious over God’s eternal revealing of all wretched hypocrisy untruth i WILL wisely humiliate all untruth falsehoods of any before God and the awakening nurtured and protected divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all you

    forever more

  459. this is one of the many drag songs i am doing this summer

  460. I know it is of God who will present me with those i need in HIV CURE research as one who purely knows i constantly am of God at all times, of God’s wise awake and eternally protected heart mind body spirit and soul of God’s child

    at all times

    any who approach ‘me’ with untruth bitter gnashing of teeth shall remain as they are outside of the eternal divine self-awareness wise descerning kingdom of heaven halo truth wisdom perspective i constant am, ridiculing only yourself before God and others who of clarity in seeing thru all untruth so many of you have and yet are in coming before Jesus, God and ‘me’

    at all times

    it is of Jesus and God’s instruction that i do not allow any to entice and cajole ‘me’ into the bitter gnashing of teeth foolish hypocrisy heart of the many of you unknowingly snared by the generational forefather teachings you so obviously are of in outward appearance.

    at all times

    where all untruthfulness is, you shall not find ‘me’

    at all times

  461. thanks for the gay bashing Marco

    you made only a mockery of yourself before the entire LGBT community like you obviously did and yet choose to do

    you speak of urgency, and yet you are just like those you attempt to motivate empower

    that is a hypocrite in the eyes of God

    i do not desire hypicrites as friends

  462. in your courts of law, negligence causing death is a charge offense, is it not?

    your foolish hearts of apathy = continued death

    therefore, all of you are of the chargeable offense of your own courts of law, are you not?

    it if was your own child without medication, you would do everything in your power immediately to save your child from death, would you not?

    i despise you now, with all that i am, and rightfully in the eyes of God and all these defenseless kids dying, i 100% should, should i not?

    how do you even say such a wretched apathetic thing Marco, when urgency is NOW?

    oh, im sorry, you have your all important egocentric film to attend to, that comes before the 5,500 people who die EACH DAY from HIV/AIDs, of the 33.4 million + people around the world living with HIV/AIDS.

    i am not bitter, i am truthfully the opposite of your apathy, am i not?

  463. An estimated 25 million people have died from HIV-related causes since the beginning of the pandemic.

    HIV/AIDS disproportionately affects women, with 15.7 million HIV-positive worldwide. In sub-Saharan Africa, women represent 60 percent of the region’s cases.

    n 2008, 33.4 million people around the world were living with HIV/AIDS. More than 60 million people have been infected with HIV since the pandemic began. AIDS is the leading cause of death in Sub-Saharan Africa, and the fourth leading cause of death globally.

    AIDS caused 2 million deaths in 2008

    There were 2.7 million new HIV infections in 2008, or almost 7,400 people per day.

    In 2008, around 430,000 children under 15 were newly infected with HIV, bringing the total number of children living with HIV to 2.1 million. About half of all new adult HIV infections occur among 15-24 year olds

    As of 2008, approximately 14 million children had lost one or both parents due to HIV/AIDS.

    Approximately 97 percent of people living with HIV/AIDS live in low- and middle-income countries. Sub-Saharan Africa is the hardest-hit region and is home to 67 percent of all people living with HIV worldwide. Parts of Asia and Latin America are experiencing severe epidemics at the national or local level. Eastern Europe and Central Asia is the region with the fastest growing HIV/AIDS epidemic in the world.

  464. this is the HIV CURE song we all WILL BE singing ONE day of the eternal ONE DAY we all walk in at all times

  465. i.m the only person on here who’s consistantly chatted and been your friend i cannnot always predict your emotions by mere word’s but my intent has always been sincere which if not evident why as your twin soul i reflect you. Now i’m in a strip club and ive turned every offer down even though you stood me up i still remained sincerere. . I loved & i’ll not give up either

  466. we have been through this expression on here surely in jest like a test to deal understand our fears our desires our insecuries. I dont truly believe you think that of me. I believe the opposite. But it is you who need’s to surrender. Unless you did not get my email i sent today. If you did then i am most hurt you would continue to live the past like that because i never held the past against you. Very hurt in this present moment sufficient to let go. Remove myself FROM YOUr ATTEMPT TO0 FRACTURE US.

  467. & don’t think i came back here before, to GODS house to see if you’d left a reply….

    I left my packet of condoms on the coffee table..

    I’ll be at the stripper club if you need me

  468. there not for me of course, I just poping ova to hand them out doing my little bit for the awareness cause, those young guys there were to giddy to think responsibly for themselves.

  469. TIME UP .. Offer withdrawn /…

    I m getting with Monster, Monster is genuine .. an nill baggage
    I can do with out the stress right now… be back again one day ..

    Oh as for your kids that I am such inadiquate, let me just say Rachel Cartwrights baby is an Alien .. so leave her to her own devises dont overload her with your primative mothering skills .. yer try the sleep talk thing because knowing you she’d be challenged getting enough love from you ..

  470. she’ll be the one that carries the love forward when your all raked up with rheumatism from pushing your self too way too hard … take a break .. enjoy yor life …

    Without me of course ..

    because its me & Monster or is not….

    & i’ll send you that song shortly …

    Ive read your Alien daughters mind & she’s asked me to express her thoughts .. so i will .. that way you’ll get a heads up on what challenges she faces in her life ahead of her and the kind of support she’ll need from you.. oh yer buy her a little baby duckling or chicken she needs a little pet with a gentle soul like her own it will help her stay calm.. actually make it a little chicken she dont want a duck squawking when it grows up im seeing you and all she’ll think its the norm when one grows up.. if ever

  471. oh and i meant what i said about monster and I ..

    so the best i can do is baby sitter and friend.. but i would’nt just be a baby sitter i’d be pure divine energy of love engulfing….

    like that defense shield they have on star track enterprise.

    hey you know one thing about pshycology ? it’s slightly mind focusd and not nessasarily acurate as the mind is like a computer and it only proccess thoughts ..

    What is more true & real is consciousness ..

    & there is no science for the study or understanding of consciousness !! why is that..

    consciousness – Embraces all that was all that is and all that will ever be,…. ME

  472. yer so with the mind if bad thoughts go in then you get mental illness if there is a chemical imbalance then the mind will not function correcly, but with consciousness you can alter the thoughts and production of chemicals because the body is a wonderful mechanism that can function as required and repair itself as nessasary … so a pure soul = a pure body
    a dark soul = unwell body

  473. shields up Scotty …

    were about to be fired at

    prepare for warp speed .. we gotta get out of here before we get destroyed..

    yup thats how i feel .. and thats what i am doing

    pissing off at warp speed … with the walls up ..

    Ciao Bella Xox

  474. mental emotional processing and dealing thru issues requires the exact issue to be brought forth into view

    left unattended to, issues remain unresolved and potentially toxic for an individual who can end up psychologically stuck

    most any of the LGBT community know all too well the many taboo generational projection transferences cast apon us by those who are indeed snared by generational taboo ignorances, such as the taboo ignorance that homosexuals are not to be trusted around children.

    not true

    more children are sexually abused per capita by heterosexuals, a statitical fact for all you morons

    much of taboo ignorances are of subconscious projection transference, something i have always felt by so many during my twenty years living a gay life style

    sadly, most homosexuals behave in denial of wanting to be a loving parent, not even willin to openly talk about it, and i see the extent of this dynamically as the hidden truth of subconscious/conscious generational taboo ignorances that snares the hetesexual world

    another truth is that homosexuals are far healthier physically mentally emotional sexually spiritually in the consistent well being(once evolved) of their self-actualization, than are heterosexuals, which means homosexuals are better suited as parents for their kids than are hetersexuals

    i know this well from years of observations of others and my own pure running feelings i have explored about my feelings for my own kids, and no one can ever take that away from me.

    obviously, i depise anyone who is snared by the subconscious/conscious generational taboo projection transferences i know exceedingly well from experience, where if we don’t talk about it, bringing the issue forth into the light, then homosexuals allow themselves to be equally snared and psychologically stuck by the false projection transference of a the predominant hetersexual generational taboo ignorances, do then not?

    well, i am talkin about it

    and i have honestly felt all this time, a subconscious projection transference with you Marco

    cannot process thru to the other side unlese we talk about it

    i do not wish to remain stuck like we have all this time

    nor should you

    it is not healthy for either of us

    i WILL see my child’s face one day like i did in my vision

    i already know this

    i wanted this with you

    but i cannot make you feel

  475. just left the doc’s office, and the second blood test confirms that i am HIV+

    hello pos world

    which i already knew, from my research on HIV seroconversion symptoms

    i was practicing unsafe sex with my partner since the beginning, 16 years ago, as a way for him not to feel stigmatized by his HIV+ status, with the no cum rule

    that does not necessarily always work where precum is of some individuals

    not sure if it was my partner or those at the spa in my choice of unsafe sex practice……exteme high risk when of complete strangers……always heard of those out there deliberately infecting others, or maybe some did not get tested after their seroconversion phase passed and they started feeling ok, thinking there were fine, which is true of many who don’t want to know if they are HIV+

    i wanted to know, so as not to ever infect others, in declaring my status like i legal have to do now, a jailable offence here in Canada if you don’t.


    i need positive friends like me……no pun intended

    when it comes to empathy compassion, we know Jesus 100% was of constant empathy compassion as regards illness of heart forefather teachings that snared those around him just as they do today

    well, coming fully into my HIV+ status, my empathy compassion is now 100%

    a blessing

    and that is purely how i embrace my life i know is constantly 100% of God as regards my every step in life with others

    so on that note, not much really changes from before, of things like homophobia in others, other than HIV stigmatization i of all people am more qualified in dealing with than most others, as one who has lived as do many people living with HIV/AIDs, since i hit the scene in 1993.

    this does not prevent my fathering my own kids one day, so other than the slight physical signs after seroconversion phase is over, i am going to be ok, more than ok, with a new found level of 100% empathy compassion that this world requires, with me now as a LOUD voice for all those who have no voice in the worldwide HIV pos community, where for sure, i am quite loud, am i not? :mrgreen:

    at least i am not obnoxious like some people


    what? oh, you so deserved that one

    ok, so this is a blessing of God that i am a new voice for everyone living with HIV/AIDs, and without doubt, i 100% embrace this new mission of God

    i am not worried about me, i am worried about all those of the pos community, as well as all those who are yet negative with the potential to become positive always lurking their entire life.

    met with an HIV pos mom yesterday, and i was so moved by speaking with her for two hours. Three kids who came out negative, that she has not revealed her status to, so as not to unnecessarily worry her kids.

    as a mom, i would be concerned about my kids being with me, and do everything in my power to hammer down and trivalize the HIV bug for what i know it actually is, a prehistoric bug that has managed to survive down thru millions of years, because it is merely a friendly symboitic bug when we are of our greater natural habitat metabolism, in welcoming a regiment now that will ensure i stay and feel consistently health and happy each day without smoking or over endulgence in alcohol, where if i don’t, one risks dying when they are HIV+, yet one more motivational empowerment for me that encourages what i always wanted, to feel phycially, mentally, emotionally, sexually, spiritual always healthy and happy, of my now knowing without doubt, i will be, and for sure, no one is going to stand in my way Biyatches!

    and one day, when i am surrounded by the love and joy of my kids walking barefoot in cherry blossom streets, stain outfits, waterguns, running around in their pure spirited happiness for all the world to behold…..100% a mission of God against the forefathers taboo generational ignorances that was cause for my HIV serconversion, is what God’s revenge is, is it not?

    ya, taboo forefather ignorances, is partly why i am HIV+, but not entirely

    sadly, truth is truth, and unavoidable, something i came to realize day after day of the truth of homophobia in others over the past twenty years, that still has not become victorious over my heart, albeit, i am now saddled with my new status, but it really is a blessing for so many in my pure feelings i feel for so many, that i always did, but not to the extent i now do, a war of sorts in taking up position with fellow comrades thruout the world, no matter race, religion, wealth, status, sex, orientation, politice or whatever, there are no boundaries human illnesses that does unite us all as ONE.

    so ya, im going to be ok

    try not to think negative

    depression is huge with early stages of seroconversion, something i realize without doubt, is of the evolved learning of the HIV virus as a way to move from host to host thru the naturaly occuring desire of close intimacy that comes with depression.

    i question this moment in time of everything in the world, including things like, why do we have the CDC center for disease control, who have every know bug contained in their locked down buildings……………i was thinking lately that we could use a viral load of flu and cold virus to sustain a high body temperature consistently over however many weeks, overlapping of the viral injections so as to maintain the same high body temperature, pushing the body into extreme conditions like 106 degree body temperature, hooked up with fluids and heart control medications(if needed) during constant 24 hour monitoring during the process of killing the HIV virus.

    still have not researched what temperature the HIV virus shuts down at…….let me get back to you

  476. and it is spring, a good time to deal with the HIV seroconversion depression syptom phase that is so realing for me of just what people do go thru, far more insightful now than before in witnessing those go thru it………it’s horrible, seems not to let up, 24/7, constantly lingering, always there……..argh

    been thinking, there may not be an HIV CURE, considering that the human body evolved in creation of the gene that makes you HIV immune, where the only chance of an HIV immunity may be with figuring out how the gene works in unity with out body to make us immune to HIV, where without doubt, there are those working daily in the research out there…………or at least there better BE Biyatches!

    i will get back to you on that one too

    speaking with the mother of kids yesterday, my empathy grew for all those kids out there i want to see keep their parents, of 100% turning towards my empathy compassion in not letting the irrational thinking depression side effect of HIV serconversion trouble me to any great extent.

    sitting there yesterday, i fully realized it was of God that i met this mom yesterday

    i want to say something i feel we have to bring forth to society, as relates to my seroconverion symptoms experience.

    i would say, most who enter into seroconversion during the first weeks, don’t know they are in seroconversion, of ignorances much like those who don’t know HIV exists.

    well, given this strategy of the HIV virus i know includes the depression syptoms that come with seroconversion, we can safely say 100% that this dynamic strategy of the prehistoric HIV virus is what is 100% cause for continued infection.

    even if you are a professional in the medical community, you are still suseptible to not knowing(not willing to accept) you are in HIV seroconversion, and for sure, if you do not know about the seroconversion depression stragety of the HIV virus people, YOU ARE GOING TO INFECT ANOTHER, unknowingly

    and no one wants to ever do this with a loved one

    this is CNN material, where i question why companies like CNN does not have a daily one hour show just on HIV, considering the massive amount of deaths that is of the HIV community.

    with this show would come communication and networking of all those involved in research, as well as the embracing of how to easily survive and live with HIV, and of course constant fund raising for all those out there who cannot afford the drugs, truly, a most heart felt show CNN could ever host.

    Haitii is nothing compared to HIV in the world, and that is the truth when we look at how many die EACH DAY

    there is no such thing as enough being done where HIV is concerned, and the apathy in the world is why more and more of us will see HIV enter directly into our lives across all boundaries in the world.

    in truth, HIV is not that bad in feeling physically, as far as pain, where it is the depression that is the single most adverse change during the 4 weeks to 4 months of HIV seroconversion, depending on your body.

    im ok

    i bit sad about having kids one day

    but i will find one willing, and already i have

    although i don’t think i will be sewing any rainbow satin outfits together just yet…..hmmm….i suppose it would motivate me though. :mrgreen:

  477. i dont know how to vent my anger and stress, i just keep it in, and it makes me all weak and weary what the fuck is wrong with me!

  478. i wish.

  479. lol

    sounds like someone is stranded somewhere unable to fly? :mrgreen:

    don’t look at me, i had nothing to do with it

    they say that volcano eruption could last a year

    take a taxi cab, it’s only a few thousand dollars


  480. oh, and flying in ash clouds starves the engines of oxygen, and shuts them down, as well as the volcanic ash is extremely abrasive on the windshield, so much so it makes the glass unable to see thru, necessary for landing, so there is not much anyone can do until the all clear is given by airport officials. Oh sure, you could fly in it, for about an hour before the engines shut down like they did on a flight that ran thru an ash cloud in aviation history, all four engines shutting down, and without engines, those aircraft fall out of the sky rather quickly, where even if they wanted to land, their windshields are fucked…so it looks like you are fucked, bored and nothing to do. lol :mrgreen:

  481. is this mascarade really necessary?

    i mean ya, i know about the hypocrisy heart ones always lurking to find a story, but somedays it just feels, well, phony

  482. i suppose i am to blame for tolerating it

    would Keith?

    makes me feel crazy somedays, as though i am untrust worthy

  483. self actualization is being the real you physically mentally emotionally sexually spiritually

    what did you say your name was again?

    anyway, you are in charge of that

    perhaps it is the none real life thing that is toxic for me, more so now than before, where at times i wonder if maybe i am crazy, and you really are some fat dirty old fuck pig troll sitting there


  484. i am indeed some old fart sitting on my ass all day lol.

    my name in this world is adam.

    nothing exciting, although if i was to tell you my last name you’d spend about a couple of hours trying to pronounce it correctly, i am unable to pronounce it correctly.


    dont worry, not that you are worrying my venting has ended, all better 🙂 i think, i have only had 3 falls like i had, that was my third, i am born with new life every time i have one of those.

    as for the europe volcanos look like i aint seeing my grandparents this year, no flight to europe, no sun, no european food and most importantly no grandparents big hugs 😦

    well all deal through it.

    altho travel will be shocking!

  485. i don’t know how to deal with the hurtful feelings of loss and eventual replacement of my nympho maniac imaginary lover


    and likewise i don’t want to hurt the my nympho maniac imaginary lover’s feelings either, with the decision of avoiding HIV stigmatization for both our sakes is a concern

    optimistically though, we cannot rule out an HIV CURE that may come at the right psychological spiritual time for us both that is of a day God knows we are journeying towards like we have all this time.

    i feel what i feel, and i know how pure you too feel as i do

    and if i don’t find a replacement of my nympho maniac lover, then perhaps that is the required motivation empowerment necessary for me to discovery the HIV CURE, of truly a celebratory day beyond our imagination neither of us have purely felt may be what is to come, God WILLING

    so perhaps it is of God that i am of the HIV+ status, a blessing not only for this generation, but the eternal all generation of ONE yet to come, in oneness sameness motivation empowerment of Jesus, is it not?

    still traveling is still traveling 😉

  486. please note that my irrational thinking and feeling is directly linked to my HIV seroconversion depression side effect that is what is the majory part of seroconversion transition that can last up to four months

    and in truth, i have been feeling unresolved really old past issues coming up for me that i had no idea were of unresolved troubling emotion for me to the extent i had not explored in not having expressed how that past event made me feel, from a time in my late teenage years that involved members of my family betrayal(s)

    i had no idea i was so pissed off inside over the issue, where it surfaced this week in the form of a nightmare of me yelling in my sleep the emotions i had not yet allowed myself to express………of course the individual in question is dead now, and i don’t feel afraid of them any more as before, in my ability to freely revisit the issue(s) i denied myself……..argh, i was so angry in the dream, screaming with every fiber in my body at them with fists raised………….feeling better now, over the issue i had no idea even existed within me………perhaps this is what is of psychological positive goodness of the HIV symbiotic relationship depression side effect?

    well, in this light of understanding, this is indeed a good thing, of a positive spin on the HIV virus, although i don’t think the stupid bug without a brain gives one sweet fuck at all or even knows the good exists, of the fucking user relationship this heartless no brain annoying bug actually is


    i get this pure meditative alone moments so pure in feeling at times when i am laying down, of sadness tears and joy tears of my calm retrospective reflective emotional thinking, as though i am high on a drug, or alcohol induced kinda calming feeling so pure running like it is, and resolution acceptance of issues is indeed a part of the postive mental emotional well being i am processing thru

    but if i fall into self-medication coping using drugs and alcohol…… will relapse into a full blown fall out for me that could potentially shove me back fully into chronic substance abuse, and be my doom i see so many HIV+ individuals not realize is happening to them as a result of HIV seroconversion, with no recovery from the substance abuse that does see them eventually die as a result like so many who do not regain responsible behaviourals.

    trust me, i am going no where near those who drink or do drugs, nor am i allowing myself to think it is ok, knowing full well i am in a severely deminished mental emotional crisis as we speak that may not lift for another 3 months, here at the forth week of HIV seroconversion.

    i am making these notes for sake of others, as i process thru, for sake of what are the severity of the hidden dangers of HIV seroconvsion i know would be useful for those newly entering into HIV seroconversion, of professionals who can and should be assisting in whatever capacity in addressing the severity of the mental emotional demished fallout their pateint and or friends/family DO EXPERIENCE, in avoiding potential devastion, including suicide that is directly linked to the HIV seroconversion depression fallout.

    my partner of 16 years, apparantly attempted suicide three times during HIV seroconversion, prior to my meeting him, of actually jumped off a balcony, already gone over the edge, where someone managed to grap the colar of his jacket as he went over in falling to his death…………an NDE near death experience………which i know is partly why i address a healthy approach in off setting the severity of his condition that included HIV stigmatization, hence, my choice of unsafe barebacking sex

    who does theraputic shit like that? :mrgreen:

    well, 16 years later, it worked, and he is alive and well, is he not?

    a real stand up motherfucking prick at times too, in not taking any bullshit inappropriateness of any form from anyone


  487. admittedly, is my own burnout inappropiate fuckedup behavior that did see it’s ugly head rein, but how much of that behavior, aside from homophobia issues in dealing with my transgender, is linked to my own HIV stigmatization one is not able to avoid?

    and the end result being my own HIV seroconversion, for sure, i have no doubt i won’t allow myself to deny, as to the nature one can expect with HIV stigmatization one can expect in getting overly involved with an HIV+ partner, why i am shutting down entertaining anyone as a sex partner who is HIV negative………i am just not going to allow it…….it may have taken 16 years for my eventually becoming positive, which i always suspected one day i would, and this truth is what scares me in knowing that lovers do become complacent, as well as the nature of naturaly occuring desire to bareback…..i am not alone in this, so many do.


    no way

    don’t go there

    i will not risk someone becoming positive, knowing the complacency first hand in how i became positive

  488. im not saying stop day dreaming of the wild sex with me, but don’t feel hurt when i sparingly turn you down for your own sake Biyatches! :mrgreen:

    it has nothing negative to do with you at a personal level, and everything positively to do with you at a personal level

  489. what the fuck is wrong with me?

    am i in love in what is the pure self-actualization feelings of ‘me’ of another subconscious connecting we have felt in the journey alongside one another all this time…….well ya! :mrgreen:

    but God knows we have to be careful at this point in time in keeping our distance

  490. ok, a recap


    early diagnosis/detection, ideally thru informative knowingness, of what early signs of HIV seroconversion looks and feels like in what one can expect as relates to brain chemistry fallout behaviorals, is CRITICAL in consideration of both the individual and potential others in becoming infected.

    we know the strategic dynamic of the HIV virus on the human body, and what one can EXPECT from the enslaught of a full on deminished capacity to think and feel properly as relates to the evolved strategy of the HIV virus in moving from host to host thru our sex.

    if you do not informatively know the exact tell tale signs of HIV seroconversion that is so slow in it’s process, by the time you notice the change, i may be too late, of your high risk behavior the HIV virus does intentionally cause in the human body.

    yes, this is a prehistoric evolved virus that has managed to survive down thru our own evolutionary history, of an exacting ability to do so

    that is what we are contending with, so do not underestimate the power of the HIV virus in it’s ability to infect your loving partner(s)

    i would say for anyone who does not know the HIV seroconversion symptoms, you are 99% at high risk of infecting your loving partner(s)

    the male population should be of a manditory course in HIV seroconversion that ALL governments in the world should be paying for, as a way to save others, and to contain the HIV virus that is most likely going to move from one host to another during the HIV seroconversion fallout phase, where even of informative knowingness, you are still at high risk of the combination denial and being at the whims of how the HIV virus strategically attacks.

    EARLY DETECTION by professionals who have an anti-HIV seroconversion brain chemical drug cocktail, should be made mandatory patient care with all HIV seroconversion blood tests that come back reactive on all four test results, in being not only informative with the patient about HIV seroconversion, but also of instrumental cricial timing ability to arrest the HIV seroconversion depression fallout immediately with all patients, that can and will prevent further infection of loved ones.

    are regards the patient, earliest detection fast track informative (drug) care is also the most critical time to ensure a safe transition of the patient as relates to suicide and self-medication coping that does come with all individuals experiencing the full onslaught of the strategic HIV seroconversion depression, of the potential self-medication coping with drugs and alcohol that can and does become problematic chronic behavioral that leads to potential suicide and death during and after the HIV seroconversion phase, of behavioural development from the 24/7 onslaught of HIV seroconversion depression.

    all individuals need informative awareness understanding as to what to EXPECT during HIV seroconverion altered brain chemistry behavioral, of deminished capicity thinking and feeling fallout change that comes on so slowly, by the time an individual realizes they are in HIV seroconversion, they are already well into the dangerous high risk fallout behaviorals as regards the individual and others.

    i don’t care if you are a medical professional, the power of the HIV virus is not something you can control with your thinking of even the most positive thinking feeling healthy individual………you are going to come fully into awareness likely too late in the critical first days and weeks of HIV seroconversion.

    what we really need, is an over the counter brain chemistry anti-HIV serconversion kit that does not require a doctors signature, as a way around HIV stigmatization. Of course that is for those of informative understanding HIV seroconversion symptoms……..hmmm…..then again, that equally could pose as a threat to deminish further followup required treatment…..

  491. my thinking is that all males of mandatory informative education, need to be supplied with the anti-HIV seroconversion kit, even in the event they some many not utulize the kit at the earliest appropriate time, the opportunity for fast tracking an ensured safe transition during HIV seroconversion is there for those who want to take responsibility of self and their loved ones.

    without this effort, we can anticipate the same continued infection rates we are seeing, where equally and likely more effective than safe sex practice using male and female condoms, is without doubt the necessary (manditory) informative full understanding HIV seroconversion education, of what to exactly expect with (earliest possible) self-diagnosis of HIV seroconversion symptoms, only possible thru informative (mandatory) HIV seroconversion education

    leaving the world to the whims of powerful HIV virus is an irresoponsible injustic for all, in light of how much we do know about the evolved strategy of HIV virus that has no intention of surrendering any time soon. 😉

  492. oh dear.

  493. Most (95%) new infections occur in developing countries.

  494. when possible, some blood products are treated with heat to eliminate the risk of HIV infection.

  495. research shows HIV is inactivated by heat and alcohol, but what degree of temperature/alcohol level inactivates the HIV bug, i don’t know yet.

    with a blood/body scrubbing cleaning process of say one/two/three/? weeks hooked up to blood transfusion/heat treatment machines, the body itself should also be in a heated state(using overlapping flu/cold virus injections) to deactivate the HIV virus, as well as the use of alcohol and current HIV Antiretroviral Drugs in a three/four/five/? prong approach to rid the body of the HIV virus, that would take many weeks……it is plausible.

    if failure at the second week, we have to go to the next week, monitoring the lowering viral loads.

    evidence of lowing viral loads during this process, is the plausible light at the end of the tunnel, but the problem is in inactivating the HIV virus during the process, where transfusion needs to occur faster than the HIV replication

    it may be impossible, but i am optimistic with a multi-prong approach, we can inactivate the virus to required levels during this process

  496. if viral load reduction occurs with flushing out the HIV virus from the body, then the question of how many weeks requried to flush out the body is what we have not yet researched……it may even be months hooked up to blood transfusion/treatment machines.

    the fact that todays Antiretroviral Drugs arrest the HIV replication to levels below replication but not entirely arrest/stop replication, is what directly determines the required amount of time flushing out the HIV virus with transfusion/treatment machines

    we could also experiment with chilling/freezing the body down as part of the multi-prong approach, with the body placed into an induced coma during freezing(cold water) lowering body temperaturing, like that of individuals who survive slow freezing to death where their respiratory system is actually shut down for hours at a time, and yet they able to be revived.

    if we do not investigate multi-pronged approaches, then we remain in the dark

  497. mathematically, as relates to arresting/inactivating, but not stopping the HIV virus with todays Antiretroviral Drugs, of HIV replication below it’s ability to take of it’s host, is mathematically, the necessary requirement of flushing out the body that does see a gradual lowering and lowering of the viral load…………with a continued constant flushing, it is mathematically just a matter of time that the HIV virus is completely flushed out of the body.

    as with the same process in using anti-biotics, near the end of the process is where attention has to be addressed, where even while viral load is undetectable(no symptoms), sustained use of the anti-biotics is necessary to the end of the prescription………..the same also applies to the necessary continued flushing process long after the virus is undetectable, for whatever length of time sees success……..failure at the first test, simply means we have to go longer in the process, so no need for false defeatist opinions at this critical point in research please

    thank you

  498. seems someone is determined to get laid?



    made you smile

    hey, come on!

    alot of people are counting on us

    God handed me this mission, so either help God or don’t

    i have no time for the standing around doing nothing naysayers

  499. i need research in alcohol inactivation tests in lowing viral load viability, and inactivation processes such as cold body temperatures in slowing the HIV replication, where the more multi-prong approaches we can add, the less time required during blood transfusion/heat treatment process of however many weeks/months is required.

    for you defeatist naysayers, it mathematically 100% plausible

  500. if HIV replication rate is held steady at 40% during a consistent lowering viral load, then mathematically, the virus is able to be entirely flushed out of the body

  501. i don’t understand how it is that scientist have failed to see the 100% mathematical viability of this process

    fear of failure?

    ya, for sure the process is extensive in length of time hooked up to the machines.

    if we do not attempt this process, where we already mathematically know it is 100% plausible, then i shall remain as i am in calling all of you MORONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i mean a five year old could easily figure this one out :mrgreen:



  502. every mother in the world with an HIV positive child is patiently waiting for us………so i ask, “What are you waiting for?”

    Jesus to show up and call tell you the truth that you are all morons? lol :mrgreen:

    this world shall remain without the HIV treatment cure, not because we don’t know it, but because of the apathetic deep pockets afraid of success morons currently at the helm

    a child will die today because of your apathy everyone!

    i mean come on, is no one listening?



    Jesus was right, they are all asleep in ignorance, unattended to, not knowing they are blind morons, too afraid to come before God in humbleness acknowledgement they are indeed OBVIOUSLY morons


    is ‘that’ not what the ‘real’ problem is that will sees the world suffer unnecessarily?


  503. you really know everything about this topic dont you?

  504. no, not really, just thinking of common sense procedures

    still researching it

    specific to the blood transfusion procedure is the requirement to both draw and replace the blood at the same place either before the heart(polmonary arteries/veins) or after the heart(aorta) with a valve that 100% diverts the blood thru the transfusion/heat treament machine

    a delicated procedure

    i don’t know what amount of time the HIV virus replicates itself, where standard blood transfusion would see mixing of the old blood back in with the new blood, where by the time the blood circulates thru the body, the virus will have replicated however many times.

    the 100% divert is possible, like the way they use artificial hearts, however, there are risks.

    it is not as invasive as a heart transplant, but the equipment and surgens needed is the same, expensive.

    at some point the refined production of these blood transfusion heat treatment machines would be mass produced, as well as the ease of traning the surgical procedure for dedicated doctors who want to specialize exclusively with the HIV treatment process.

    using this 100% divert procedure also substantially lessens the time required hooked up to the machine.

    when we look directly at the specific time for the HIV replication to occur in real time, as the new blood comes back into the body, the ‘zero viral load’ begins at the insertion point, and gradually shifts in the direction of blood flow during the flushing procedure.

    the length of time of the HIV replication is directly linked to the procedure time of the ‘zero viral load’ eventually moving thru the entire body back to the insertion extraction/replacement point.

    it is not a question of if it will work, knowing 100% that it will, it is a question we don’t know of how long it takes to scrub/flush out the blood and body tissues.

    using todays HIV suppression drugs is all we need to use, with out adding to potential complications during the procedure of other HIV suppression techniques, although i suppose there are harmless techniques that exist, where the more suppression of HIV replication, the less time for the invasive produre and complications that may come with longer produre times.

  505. ideally, the less invasive, the better, where a simple insertion of a high tech opening/closing valve into the arteries or veins could be done using today’s minimal invasive surgical tools

    the insertion valve itself should use the walls of the artery/vein, with the machine tubes coming out one side of the artery/vein, without having to slice the artery/vein entirely

    i don’t know anything about surgery, but i do know less invasive means less risk of complications

  506. all tax payers world wide should be of a humanitarian mindset in paying for the procedure of anyone infected in the world, as this is a global crisis for the future of the entire world.

    for sure, we know China has deep pockets, and in truth, you cannot put a price or value on our children and their friends and their children’s children and friends

    unless of course you are an evil satanist who loves anarchy

    government leaders must take charge and are the only ones able to shove the HIV virus back into it’s eco system

  507. unfortunately, the blood transfusion technique above is the only one that will work

  508. with robotic minimal invasive surgical machines, we also have remote surgery capability, where patients can be assembly lined in remote locations of the portable robotic minimal invasive surgical machines.


    another topic is, ‘what do we know about the blood of HIV immune people?’

    as part of the transfusion, can we use replacement blood that has the white blood cell seperated from it during the procedure, as a way to speed up the invasive procedure, then at the end of the scrub procedure, add back the white blood cells, without complication in doing so?

    we do have blood component seperation being used already…..Component separation: red cells, plasma and platelets are separated into different containers and stored in appropriate conditions so that their use can be adapted to the patient’s specific needs.

    why do this?

    HIV infects and destroys a particular type of white blood cell, a T lymphocyte, which has a special receptor (attaching) site called CD4 on the outside, so it is called a CD4 + T lymphocyte. This white blood cell is part of the immune system of the body. According to the National Institute of Allergy & Infectious Diseases, you should have about 800 to 1200 of these CD4+ T lymphocytes in each cubic millimeter (mm3) of blood. The test that measures this is called a “CD4 count” or a “T-cell count.” Ribonucleic acid (RNA) and deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) are found in living cells. DNA (double-stranded) carries genes and the blueprint for cell function, but RNA (single-stranded) has multiple functions, including carrying genetic instructions and causing chemical reactions. HIV contains RNA while a T lymphocyte contains DNA.

    ideally, you could get this procedure down to an in and out day surgery level

  509. i want to volunteer to see if the procedure works

    i am healthy enough to endure the procedure

  510. the minimal invasive surgery tools today are truly amazing, check it out!

  511. blood transfusion is not likely the solution to help erratically the HIV virus from human populations, given the expense and time required for the procedure, although it could assist as part of a multi-prong HIV erratication.

    what about bone marrow transplant with HIV immune individuals?

    Hematopoietic stem cell transplantation (HSCT) is the transplantation of blood stem cells derived from the bone marrow (in this case known as bone marrow transplantation) or blood. Stem cell transplantation is a medical procedure in the fields of hematology and oncology, most often performed for people with diseases of the blood, bone marrow, or certain types of cancer.

  512. Stem cell transplantation was pioneered using bone-marrow-derived stem cells by a team at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center from the 1950s through the 1970s led by E. Donnall Thomas, whose work was later recognized with a Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. Thomas’ work showed that bone marrow cells infused intravenously could repopulate the bone marrow and produce new blood cells. His work also reduced the likelihood of developing a life-threatening complication called graft-versus-host disease.[4]

    The first physician to perform a successful human bone marrow transplant was Robert A. Good at the University of Minnesota in 1968.

  513. what i don’t know about bone marrow transplant from a donor, is whether or not the HIV immune donor’s(Finland Eskimos) bone marrow transplanted will produce the same blood with the HIV immune gene switched on in the new manufacturing of blood from the new bone marrow transplant, and if this then alters the rest of the patient’s bone marrow in their body.

    a simple fast day surgery procedure with minimal invasion, like that of a small needle/drill into the bone of a patient of a small bone marrow sample transplanted into them, is a process that could erraticate the HIV virus from human populations inexpensively and fast, with little training of most anyone able to do the procedure

    let me get back to you on how bone marrow transplant works as relates to the donor DNA/RNA replication of blood cells in the transplant patient

  514. question is, has anyone tried bone marrow transplant from an HIV immune individual to an HIV+ individual at this time and the results?

    well then, we need to move forward in this, do we not?

    and what of a bone marrow transplant, as relates to using the HIV+ person’s bone marrow a year later, as part of continued treatment of others…….is that possible as well?

    the beauty of bone marrow transplant is that the donor bone marrow can be frozen for use whenever needed

  515. ok, GOOD NEWS!

    yes they have tested it already, and it works

    read this:

    Transplant as a use for treatment of HIV

    A bone marrow transplant performed on an American man residing in Germany appears to have successfully cured him of both leukemia as well as HIV. Researchers emphasize that this is an unusual case.[15] The donor marrow was selected from 60 matching donors for being [CCR5]-Δ32 homozygous. This genetic trait blocks the primary route by which HIV attaches itself to cells. Roughly 1:100 Europeans and Americans have this inherited mutation but it is rarer in other populations.[16][17]

  516. CCR5 and bone marrow transplant, is the HIV CURE

    alot of people involved in this research

  517. so what is the hold up if already they know this works?

    people with HIV, just as cancer patients, don’t care much about low risk complications, so why are they stalling on this?

  518. why is the no loud campaigning on this evidence?

    did you know about this?

    are governments keeping this quite? obviously!

    we have to push forward in whatever research eventually perfects this procedure, where everyone the of the world should know about these findings as part of the push forward

    hello, CNN?

    ya, did you guys know about the HIV CURE that has been found? :mrgreen:

  519. nothing like watching the excitement of every HIV+ person, family, friends and lovers worldwide! lol

    oh, this is going to be fun! :mrgreen:

  520. ok, so erratication of the HIV virus from human popultations is as simple as a bone marrow needle/drill into all HIV+ individuals, and while we are at it, into every HIV negative individual as a way to make everyone immune.

    ok, great!

    let the party begin! :mrgreen:

  521. hmmm……what day was Jesus ressurected, the third day?

    ok, i rose on the forth day, but Jesus was alot smarter than i am, although not bi much LOL :mrgreen:

  522. ok, obviously we need everyone currently involved in this research, and the faster we move on it, the more lives we can save in the coming years

    are you ready?

    oh, and i want my truckload of cherry blooms

    you have until the last Sunday of June :mrgreen:

  523. and let’s throw a huge party in Finland, inviting all the Eskimos, granting them each huge rewards to consider as bone marrow donors

    the real gem is of the bone marrow recipient one year later, where any HIV+ individual who become negative will gladly participate as bone marrow donors………if that is feasible.

  524. so does this news make you as happy as ‘me’ :mrgreen:

    perhaps one day you can take all your angry sex out on ‘me’ making twenty babies?

    LOL :mrgreen:

    “your wish is my command”

    remember those androids from Battle Star Galactica?

  525. ahhhhhh, the sun is shining today!

    actually, the sun is always shining, is it not?

    give thanks to Jesus, God and all those who love Jesus and God

    thank you Jesus!
    thank you God!
    thank you everyone!

    bless you all forever more

  526. not all bone marrow transplants take, so they simply have to redo the procedure with increasing amounts of donor marrow until it does, or use a different donor’s marrow until it does take.

  527. not sure if anti-rejection drugs would assist in the bone marrow transplant taking in it’s new host, and we should test success of this with those who use anti-rejection drugs and those who don’t during the procedure

  528. obviously they will refine the procedure in the coming years as to what is the highest success rate thru trial and error

  529. hmmm……ironically, i returned to my spiritual sanctuary of study this day, after being away for along time, lighting candles as i entered at the shrine of Jesus, before investigating further in HIV treatment in finding these findings today

    well, for me, ‘that’ is of my faith in God and all of YOU

    so bless you all with peace grace love and happiness 24/7 of every blessed day you all wake 2 forever more

    and be sure to give thanks to Jesus and God

  530. i need a high energy celebration song to listen to…….any ideas? :mrgreen:

    so uhm, are you coming to see me one day or not? i want 2 know!

    what i already have known and know, what we look for has already come, according to Jesus, God and ‘me’

    ahhhh, all my stress over this has vanished!

    now all i have to worry about is putting up with you! LOL :mrgreen:

    same ol’ sarcasm

    at least i am not as dark a sarcasm as yours, i mean you are like mentally killing people at times! lol

    what was that favorite line of yours again?

    oh yeah, “Just chop it’s head off and be done with it!”

    i mean who the fuck says shit like that? uhm? lol

    ONLY YOU!!!!! :mrgreen:

  531. so did you miss ‘me’?

  532. hello? HELLOOOOO?

    fuck, you are always too damn busy for me!

  533. oh well, had you not, this HIV campaign day may not of come

    for sure, the motivation empowerment is alot stronger for someone HIV+ than when i was HIV –

    a blessing, is it not?

  534. walk a mile in their shoes, Jesus says

    i am

  535. you know, there was a point i recall at the spa where i did not care if i became HIV+

    i remember that, it was like letting hell consume me, so that i could enter it’s prison and find the light for the way out, where unless you understand untruth darkness, you cannot be protected from it with the divine wisdom that knows what untruth darkness looks and feels like

    but i do question my low self-esteem and low self-respect preservation in doing so……..ah well, eternal greatness has come from it

  536. are you going to help us with this or not?

    you bow your head to ‘me’ and say, “Yes master. Your wisdom is exceedingly vast compared to mine, and i thank you for taking the time to enlighten ‘me’! Bless you always your most holiness whom i shall eternally serve”

    and i say, “Oh, i am tired of being your master, i want to play the submissive role! SOMEBODY FUCK ME!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!” LOL :mrgreen:

    see, i am back to my old self! 😉

    oh, you better help us with this or i am not going to speak with you directly again! And we all know how much you miss ‘me’ when i am not around, now don’t we?

    made ya smile

  537. uhm…….not to sound like the whiner i know i am, but, i am at high risk of complications with HIV seroconversion, because of my badly damaged liver from a battle with hep B, so if we could get some traction on this sooner rather than later, i am eternally grateful……i have no pull whatsoever in getting this treatment, not even knowing where to start, and by the time i do, it could come to late for me. The HIV is still attacking my liver and i still have a low low appetite, forcing myself to eat, but i am losing weight, with a low body weight to begin with, 130lbs and falling……..obviously i am not out of the woods yet.

    ya, i guess i am still abit afraid, not knowing 100% what to expect given the high risk category i am of, prior to infection.

    i will likely be ok, but i really want to kick this world’s ass over the evidence of the success of CCR5 immunity with bone marrow transplanting…… relieved to hear about this!

    i am going to focus on my homeopathy for the time being in getting thru the seroconversion phase without complications, such as staying away from alcohol, drugs, and smoking, and all naysayer defeatists. 😉

    improve my diet too, such as low fat foods that are not good for liver complications

    i am still regimented with my exercise as before, without too much difficulty other than the weakness, which is mind over matter determination not to give up, but the depression doesn’t help, in to speak with doctors this week about better depression drugs…….so necessary, and i am curious to know what approaches they use for HIV seroconversion, seeking as many opinions as possible.

    basically, i life is twice as hard as before, with lacking appetite contributing to my weakness. I am picking up horse pill size SWISS B-complex supplement today, and multi-vitamins……SWISS supplements have the best absorption rate by means of their more costly processing, where you can actually physically feel the difference compared to other cheaper company supplements.

    my heart goes out to those out there who have no doctors, no drugs, no proper diet choices, no counsel, seemingly no hope whatsoever in this apathetic world without God in their hearts, that is letting them knowingly die each day, of so many unborn being whipped out of the eternal future forever…….you cannot put a value on a human life that is priceless in every mothers eyes, Jesus, God and my eyes 2

    ya well, someone who is of God is now stepping forth into the world……fuckers! :mrgreen:

    peace be to you
    take me to your leaders


    bless you all

  538. fuck, this blog won’t let me post critical link information, fuck!

  539. fuck, i am trying to save my life and others on a fucking blog, how fucking lame is this?

  540. truly (a)pathetic, is it not?

  541. i have contact (link) information about CCR5 researchers, and the blog won’t let me post them

  542. oh, and i have a mild heart condition too, and bone marrow transplant is dangerous for weaker bodies, so again, i need traction on this, if anyone knows how to get on the bone marrow transplant specialist list with those working with CCR5 research

  543. deep breaths Andyy, calm down, someone will be with you shortly

    fuck you, i have been waiting here all day, how much longer do i have to wait?

    doctor’s office has horrible wait times…….likely far worse for bone marrow transplant CCR5 researchers, if at all possible

    i am so going over to CNN with this info, text them everyday if i have to!


  544. hmmm……why stop at CNN, and not email all the news networks worldwide?

    ok, im on it! :mrgreen:

  545. any guess what i will be advocating this year at pride? :mrgreen:


    big signs

    and handouts telling everyone the findings

    buzz buzz buzz, the more the better

  546. and who the fuck is Pepsi? lol

  547. someone told me that coke head biyatch died

  548. and how the fuck can i be better than i am today when i am already the fucking best? uhm?

    makes no sense to ‘me’ LOL

  549. oh ya, i forgot already… HIV status

    well, what if i do die? uhm?

    you will be like eternal unable to forgive yourself for not assisting not just ‘me’, but all of ‘me’ out there :mrgreen:

  550. ah, laughter, the best medicine 😉

  551. ya, i already got it, but it is not what i want damn it!

    fuck, your songs make no sense 2 ‘me’ at all!


  552. i hear you call my name?

    where is Madonna when we need her?

    fucking that tramp she found wondering around in Brazil

    ok, i take that one back…….

    a place where i can get away?

    how the fuck can i get away from my HIV status? uhm?

    see what i mean?



  553. oh fuck, too much oxygen to my brain, hysterical in mad laughter…..i better stop……

  554. pity the pharisees; they’re like dogs
    sleeping in an ox’s shed
    they neither eat nor let the ox eat

    what? i was not the one who said this, Jesus said it

    my ‘real’ mother gave ‘me’ life :mrgreen:

  555. do you realize how much of a landslide victory this is for the entire human race?

    it is astronomical in priceless value for 33 million HIV+ individuals and all those who love them

    CCR5 and bone marrow transplant is the HIV CURE for not just HIV+ individuals, but to immunize everyone!

    some 7 billion of us by the time everyone is immunized

    all governments worldwide should be putting all their efforts into this research

    hopefully China is listening, as they have the most to loose, their entire population, and they still have the deepest pockets to bolster research

  556. WELL, ok, this song makes sense :mrgreen:

  557. every single word of it actually! 😉

  558. hey, no celebrating too much, i need some sober minds come morning! lol

  559. the high probability of success is truly great!

    This genetic trait blocks the primary route by which HIV attaches itself to cells.
    Roughly 1:100 Europeans and Americans have this inherited mutation but it is rarer in other populations.

    i had no idea of this at all till now

  560. there is a CCR5 link in the ‘Transplant as a use for treatment of HIV’ discription

  561. i won’t get my hopes up too high, but at least i am hopeful

    faith in Jesus = faith in ‘me’ :mrgreen:

  562. all you females out there stop sleeping with males! LOL

  563. unless you are a F-M transgender with a strapon who can sleep with either a female or a M-F transgender, just don’t let the male fuck you!

    as in ‘fuck you, get away from me with that small dick of yours!’ LOL

  564. wow, bone marrow transplant at risk of dying

    are they using any anti-rejection drugs with this procedure?

  565. ah, “graft vs. host disease” is the dying risk problem with donor cell transplant, of an alternative shown here;

    Patient-Specific Stem Cells Proposed to “Cure” HIV Disease

    One of the difficulties that the patient mentioned above faced is that the bone marrow stem cells he received were from a closely matched donor. The patient still had to undergo significant immunosuppressive therapy in order that he did not reject the donor cells and suffer “graft vs. host disease.” The scientists at the Bedford Stem Cell Research Foundation propose to take the process one step further and avoid this problem by obtaining the stem cells directly from the HIV infected patient – patient specific stem cells. In HIV positive females, these stem cells would be derived from unfertilized eggs – stem cells termed “parthenotes.” In HIV positive males, these stem cells would be retrieved from the testes. Once the stem cells are obtained, they would be developed in the laboratory into immune system cells which are resistant to HIV infection by eliminating the CCR5 gene. Finally, these patient specific HIV resistant immune cells would be injected back into the HIV infected patient where they will populate, flourish, and overtake the existing HIV infected cells, thereby rendering the individual’s immune system resistant to the HIV virus. Such HIV infected individuals will no longer require anti-retroviral medication which will relieve them of all the associated toxic side effects as well as the significant expense of the therapy. In addition to “curing” the patient’s HIV disease, because the process uses patient specific stem cells, there is no need for immunosuppressive therapy and no risk of “graft vs. host disease.”

    Read more at Suite101: Can Stem Cell Therapy Cure HIV and AIDS?: The Simple Answer is: “Yes, It is Very Possible”

  566. Private Funding Required for HIV and AIDS Stem Cell Therapy Development

    So, can stem cell therapy cure HIV and AIDS? Yes, it is very possible as outlined in the process described above. Much research is needed to develop this process and government funding is not available, so private funding will ultimately be required to achieve these goals.

  567. The price of treatment with antiretrovirals in Europe is €70,000 to €80,000 (£63,000 to £72,000) a year compared with a one-off cost of €20,000 to €30,000 for a bone marrow transplant.

  568. how much you wanna bet the drug companies are not research it? uhm?

    oh sorry, the tax paying drug companies and their happy tax collector boys and girls? uhm?

    did you know pharmaceutical is the biggest industry in the world?

  569. ya well, leave the HIV virus exponential infection rate continue, and in 100 years there won’t be a global economic society to pay for anything with more people sick and dying than are healthy

  570. reminds me of the intersection in the country side with no traffic light, where ten people had to die before the installed a traffic light; it has to get worse in society before enough people stand up and say, “Houston, we have a problem.” 😉

  571. majority of people infected with HIV are unaware they have the virus

    not good

    Minimising the impact of HIV will require massive responses at the national and international level:

    * People need to challenge the myths and misconceptions about human sexuality that translate into dangerous sexual practices.
    * Work and legislation is needed to reduce prejudice felt by HIV+ people around the world and the discrimination that prevents people from “coming out” as being HIV positive.
    * HIV prevention initiatives need to be increased, people across the world need to be made aware of the dangers, the risks, and the ways they can protect themselves.
    * Condom promotion and supply needs to be increased, and the appropriate sexual health education needs to be provided to young people before they reach an age where they become sexually active.
    * Medication and support needs to be provided to people who are already HIV+, so that they can live longer and more productive lives, support their families, and avoid transmitting the virus onwards.
    * Support and care needs to be provided for those children who have already been orphaned by AIDS, so that they can grow up safely, without experiencing poverty, exploitation, and themselves falling prey to HIV.

  572. all those here who do the will of God
    are my family; they are the ones who
    will enter the kingdom of heaven 😉

    Jesus said this, which means the kingdom of heaven Jesus speaks of, is all around us, our state of being, is it not?

  573. argh….fuck, im not feeling well

    seroconversion sucks!

  574. Jesus says, “the kingdom of heaven covers the Earth with glory, but mankind fails to see it!”

    fails to BE it

  575. i am 100% optimistic, and i am happy to have learned the research efforts, as it is important to feel optimistic, which i am now, more than i was before.

    they will refine their research, now that they have a taste of victory

    just a matter of time before they perfect it

    and i have lot’s of time with the drugs i can use

    where most do not

    i speak on behalf of all those who do not

  576. Jane Lynch impersonating Madonna?


    and i thought i looked bad as a female impersonator…….of anyone actually! lol

  577. oh fuck, and now i am starting to sound like Perez…….arrggghhhhhh!!!

  578. hang in there, you’ll make it, those who are strong minded always pull through.

    never give up.

    your a genius, icon and a hall of fame milf.

  579. What you need is a big strong hand,
    To lift you to your higher ground.
    Make you feel like a queen on a throne,
    Make him love you till you can’t come down.

    I hear you call my name,
    And it feels like home.

  580. take all the time in the world that you need to SURRENDER,

    just remember the METER is on ticking away,

    Tic Tok Tic Tok….

  581. oh marco marco marco, dont you realise she wont surrender you need to overpower her! show her you have what she wants!

  582. feeling fatigue from some kind of body illness?

    have a poor apetite that contributes to your fatigue?

    not getting enough daily nutrients?

    i find these work well in boosting my energy, as part of my vitamin supplement

    Redoxon-B are orange flavoured tablets that, when placed in water, dissolve to give you Vitamin C, Vitamin B1 and B2, Niacinamide, Vitamin B6, Pantothenic acid, biotin, Vitamin B12 and magnesium.

    i also use SWISS mult-vitamin and B-complex

    HUGE difference right away!

  583. i surrender only to Jesus and God

  584. most any others have falsehood tendancies

    not a bad thing, just where we are in evolution history

  585. i have seen so many HIV+ individuals of the past decades, who don’t take responsible exploration in diet supplements to boost their energy and reduce their HIV serconversion depression, in easily experimenting in discovery of what works for them.

    and worse, they go the other way in self-medicating alcohol, drug use and smoking……..and what happens?

    they die

    and everytime they died i always say the same thing, they failed to be responsible with their diet, exercise and rest.

    compounding this is the HIV stigmatization of others who do avoid us as partners, limited to their choise of HIV+ partners, although HIV stigmatization is not as bad as it was years ago when most did not know much about the illness.

    during HIV seroconversion, YOU HAVE to embrace the seroconversion depression is partly linked to your low appetite that does result in less nurtrients, and you need to do it as soon as possible, in attempts to avoid the high risk for falling into self-medication coping like so many have, who do dies from subsequent development of problematic chronic addiction behavior.

    combined with low self-esteem, and poor boundary settings with unhealthy unsafe others, you are at even greater risk of self-medication coping using alcohol and drugs.

    HIV IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE like it was before

    there is no need to think irrational in avoiding looking at the truth of what is available today to easily survive, where the side effects of today’s HIV drugs are far less than they were before, like causing our hair to fall out.

    i feel the most important issue an HIV+ individuals needs to address IMMEDIATELY is starting a Vitamin supplement regime, where one does notice the difference within hours of starting a supplement regime

    this reduces the risk of HIV seroconversion depression self-medicating coping during the 4week to 4month seroconversion phase, that can and does lead to eventual death specific to development of substance abuse behavior, compounded with poor diet, exercise and rest the ensures a higher metabolism that results in a healthy immune system

    >> Vitamin C is one of the best supplements for keeping your immune system healthy

    doctors and counselors alike need to make aware to individuals entering into HIV seroconversion, the numerous ways to counter HIV seroconversion depression that is partly to do with resulting low nutrients from the low appetite during HIV seroconversion that can and does last for months, depending on the individual

    HIV seroconversion individuals should also be made aware of the high risk of developing problematic behaviors that are linked to HIV seroconversion depression, and the serious consequences of these behaviors that can and do lead to death

    the sooner they are made aware, the greater the chances of successful navigation of HIV seroconversion depression

  586. i am preparing my speech for group therapy

    i am going to scream at them, take them by the hand if i have to, in trying a vitamin supplement during their suroconversion depression phase

    i know why they are still dying today when they need not be


    40 days to change a bad habit to a good habit

  587. i am blessed to live in Canada, where my medical is free

    i am deeply sad for the majority of HIV+ individuals out there who do not have medical assistance

    indeed, they do have a death sentence

    but maybe there is a RED40 regime that could change that?

    i know HIV is a symbiotic virus

  588. an invitation.

    you’ll know where ill be.

  589. oh, and the SWISS vitamin and B complex supplements do increase your appetite

    fatty foods and sugar do drain your metabolism because heat is required from your metabolism to process them

    with high protein, low fat, low sugar foods, comes high metabolic rates of high energy, that feel good feeling, where you do not need things like coffee and tea to rid you of any sluggish feeling thruout the day.


    i was thinking the other day if schools provide healthy breakfast and lunch to students, this would decrease the drop out rate extensively, as it increases the positive mental emotional well being of the students, at a low cost

  590. currently, it costs approx. $10k per student per year

    adding a healthy breakfast, lunch and break would 100% a positive well being for all students, at a cost of less than $1000 per year.

    many youth out there do come from low income families, where we know many do come to school without breakfast or lunch.

    the meals should be healthy meals only, no french fries or anything with high fat or sugar content

    this should be incorporated thruout the world, as a sure way to ensure a low drop out rate, as well as a way to improve the students ability to learn, with much more alert minds

  591. poor diet = poor physical mental emotional well being

    poor exercise = poor physical mental emotional well being

    poor rest = poor physical mental emotional well being

    such a simple thing, at a low cost

    and lets not forget how much it costs once these youth find their way into gang violence, drug and alcohol use, and crime in society, of destroyed lives

    it’s just stupid that they do not ensure this, given that tax payers are the ones to pay for it all

    and so easy to sell this with all tax payers who all want to ensure the future of they kids

    there are many schools which have proven results

    it is an grave injustice to ignore these proven results

  592. i feel so much better with the SWISS vitamins and B-complex supplements

    i always knew these bolster one’s energy levels since my youth, when i used to body build

    individuals need to explore the results first hand, where doctors should be the ones to provide samples to all HIV+ patients so that they get to feel the results so valuable during seroconversion depression

  593. been thinking of finally asking my ex to get married

    when you feel the ‘real’ self of someone who obviously loves you, it feels authentic and sincere in how they love cuddling, hugging and kissing you daily, and we have always been this way with each other, mostly

    being positive now, my choices/options have changed now to entertaining only pos partners, for sake of everyone

    i love my gay sex, and my ex does not treat me like i am gross, not at all different from before, even though i feel gross about my own sickly body now

    i know what they go thru now, had no idea it was as bad as it looked, always there

    it’s not painful, but the weakness fatigue sucks

    i still have internal bleeding, and my team of doctors after a month have not told me why i am still of Gastrointestinal bleeding, i mean ya, with AIDs i could understand, but my viral load is undetectable

    i mean come on, a month, and three doctors cannot tell me why?

    incompetence for sure

    and now i have visible external swelling off fluids that is increasing with pain daily

    i was screaming at them all today, saying why don’t i save you all some time and see another doctor, then have my lawyer contact you with the results?

    that’s just fucked, not one of them have told me why i am still bleeding after a month!


    anyway, i feel i am moving on now that everything has changed

    and i feel that setting boundaries in not returning to this impersonal blog, frees up my time to be of healthy interation with others in ‘real’ life

    and besides, who wants or needs homophobic friends?

    so i bid you all farewell this day in starting a new day, a new life, having moved back into the gay ghetto of Toronto, of none stop fun and happiness as before

    doing a drag show tonight, in attempts to mentally emotionally rise above my HIV seroconversion fatigue/depression, and being around family is what i have always loved

    i feel this blog as an insulting impersonal mascarade of people i really don’t know who they are

    be happy

    be well

    peace out Biyatches

  594. i expect you see you tonight.

    quite certain you know where ill be.

    much love.

  595. quite certain i know what people think of my perscription bacg in hand, walking thru the ghetto…whatever they want to think in their gossipy hypocrisy hearts like the love to do

    and when they ask, i tell them the truth, “Oh, these are my crazy pills that keep me from hunting down and killing the fucker that intentionally knowingingly gave me HIV at the spa, alot with evrey other STD on the planet.

    it should be against the law to serve alcohol at sex spas….why i am infected, combined with my fucked upness, oh yea, on was on this path along time ago, age three i think is when it all started in motion for me.

    think what you want fuckers, and in the end, what do you learn about your projections and knowing me?

    do you think Jesus exist(ed)(s)?
    do you think Jesus fells like he exist(ed)(s)?

    only to those who truly know Jesus, does Jesus exist

    do any of you know ‘me’?

    here is a hint….Jesus knows ‘me’ the same way i know Jesus

    and no, none of you know ‘me’ if you do not know Jesus

    do i exist?
    do i feel like i exist?

    in the kingdom of heaven, tears of compassionate oneness feeling, is the same feeling of tears of thankfulness oneness feeling, flawless love

    and if they don’t stop cutting shark’s fins and tails off and throwing the sharks back into the ocean still alive with out fins and tail…..i AM going to kill someone

    truly, that makes me puke over this fucked world of hell

    hey, why don’t we take one of you shark hunters and cut your hands and feet off, and let you waunder around? uhm?

    all you people who eat shark fin soup or contribute to this in any way, you will not find the kingdom of heaven

    the surgen looks at me and asks, “what made you come into the merg?”

    i say, “Huh? How big do you suppose the left testical is compared to the right one, about five times, right? And how much pain do you suppose that is?”

    he laughs as he places ultrasound against it as i scream, yet again!

    fuck, i could of avoided all this with competent doctors

  596. the ultrasound pics are dated, as are the second blood tests results from my incompetenet doctors = conviction law suit, payable to ACT

    losing your balls?

    right up there with losing your penis!

    maybe my girl is in charge, and is trying to tell me something?


    this has to stop!


  597. quite certain you know where i’ll be


    oh yeah, for sure, and where the fuck am i? uhm?

    getting my dick and balls cut off

    if i don’t know, how the fuck can you know? uhm? lol

    St. Mike is looking after me now

  598. i am in for surgery, and what does the ex do, answers a phone call and fucks off!

    there is bad Karma, and then there is really really bad karma! lol

    anyway, they are waiting till Monday to see how i am by then

    dick or no dick, does not matter at all to me now….maybe this is the push i needed?

    and if this pain does not subside soon, i will chop it all off myself! lol

    and who the fuck are you anyway?

    stop hiding behind a mask

    oh forget it, i am not in the mode, nothing, it’s all just dead flesh, nothing happening at all, i am an it now, neither sex. lol

  599. the adult child Jesus became decerningly wise in awareness of the true nature of his own divine self as to what is truth(divine self) and untruth(falsehood egos), in what is the primal innate pure core true nature of divine self, wisely devoid of need in being forefather falsehood teachings.

    when of evolved self-awareness of our true natured ‘real’ self, eventually we do not need anyone’s opinion of us whatsoever, of most any who are of shortsighted opinion of us, in not having taken the time to truly purely know us like Jesus and God know us, is what is of bitter foul tasting hypocrisy gnashing of teeth outside the kingdom of heaven constant pure meditative state of being, and this is where descerning self-awareness eventually becomes the preferred constant meditative state of being of discerning as to who is authentic as their pure ‘real’ self with us and who is not in any of their useless projection transference ego tripping like we see most anywhere we look in life.

    the false disconnect

    that is indeed false and foul tasting for our divine self that intuitively subconsciously/consciously knows otherwise, even if not yet intellectually, such behavior feels false to us

    living a gay lifestyle, some of us get this on a daily basis with our shithead immature ignorant coworkers we learn to tolerate, that we know really is the generational ignorance hand down thru mellenia that some of our coworkers consistently remain oblivious to their own ignorance……….for how long?…… till they ostrasize their own kids like they did/do us, and their kids become their ignorance projection transference rejection self-medicating coping with drugs and alcohol, self-harm behavioral(s) including suicide?



    this is a society issue

    that is changing

    but the self-harm does lurk and linger, as it did for me, age 46

    i am the end result of an ignorant society that tooks it’s toll on me, no matter how much i intellectualized it, i did not escape the emtional

    a life time of it, where i too was of the same ignorances at one time

  600. life is far from over for me

    where i do feel the best part of my life is yet to come

    my entire focus on my positive well being, starting with my creative arts being my focus where once was my time spent in a career, art that is a reflection of and from my positive well being, here in my third year of a spiritual sabatical that i love so much how that feels for me, so stress free.

    i tend to people watch alot, seing all the various/same sorta gearhead ego maniac stress junky career boys and girls bunting heads like they do in their all so important stressful careers that leave them dead at age 55, ya, that is so smart, not

    maybe i seem abit resentful/bruised yet from my career kick-to-the-head i took from the hypocrisy heart crowd, in recalling yet another staffer incident at the same company with a superior of sexual harassment i did not respond favorably to, who moved me to yet another store….for sure, the worse company i ever worked for, but i learned alot, about how this (un)kind of bullshit does go on out there, and then at the end of it all you get fired from the overload of their mental/emotional/sexual abuse?

    that can fuck a person up bad, where i did think i was going to be ok, but i feel it was harder on me than i realized at the time, of huge disdain inabilty to trust others in the workplace, so much so i had no desire to return to my career after two years……..ya, it impacted me, no question there, and yet, i love the creative arts i am of daily now, more than any career choice i ever made.

    and i have no desire to be of the status quo chase whatsoever, especially regarding the creative arts, where unless the art is of positive spiritual catharsis evoking, voicing, awakening, motivating, empowering of our pure spiritedness, then the art has no value

    that is who i am
    that is what i am
    that is where i am
    that is when i am
    that is why i am
    that is how i am


    2 BE



    get it?

    Cain and Able

    you know, i don’t believe that story, likely rewritten so many times it is no where at all the same as the original fictitious tale, although the story is not out of the ordinary in how we immature adult children do treat one another in the world

    i am a blasphemer?

    ok fine, i would rather be a blasphemer accussed of blasphemy by the finger pointing hypocrisy heart ‘merchants of God’, than to be a finger pointing hypocrisy heart ‘merchant of God’ accusing a divine child of God for question the truth Jesus asks them to look for all around us at all times, of everywhere is the truth, where truth of untruth is truth 2 :mrgreen:

    i give thanks to Jesus our brother for the sense of oneness of this world to the extent that it obviously is

    just how much did Jesus achieve in each step, each breath, each heartbeat, each blessed day?

    more than we know
    our words Jesus planted
    more that we glow
    our love freely granted


    anyway, hope to be feeling better by next month, cannot feel worse, so i have to feel better, right? lol

    i don’t make for a good patient

    the good thing about being sick, is you appreciate when you do eventually better, God willing

  601. just don’t be granting me any STD biyatches!

    now when i see the word SPA, i see the word STD :mrgreen:

    and so should everyone

  602. Just take Shark Fin soup off the menu

    no demand, not shark fin market

    as difficult as this video is to watch, i feel everyone needs to be made aware of the brutality of millions of these sharks each year

  603. Whale Sharks are also being hunted for fins

  604. feeling better now, thankful of professional doctors who don’t discriminate

    with abit of practice this could be a great skit, but we gayboys get the message

  605. and they forgot the tittygirl trannies……….again, biyatches!

    and where are the feathersm, rainbows, condoms and lube biyatches?

    oh, i get it, still in the bicurious phase, you learn to like it now, and learn to love it later………ok, i got it 😉

  606. Cool story bro xoxo

  607. Hey! Check out my blog.!
    I love you, Madonna! Come to Norway!

  608. Nice blog!

  609. You are right! 😀

  610. Stop promoting your religion, you got 100x brainless followers, dont make them hippies.

  611. I am totally with you, hell yeah bitch! Girl power!

  612. My teacher read your blog, and now she’s going to use “At Her Majesty’s Pleasure” every time we want to leave the classroom. School just made another step closer to jail 😀

  613. “At Her Majesty’s Pleasure”…
    Sure, no room for sexual innuendo there…
    …yeah, I think I’ll pass

  614. i love you madonna !!! you soo hot , come to norway please!!! you can stay at my house <33333333

  615. Hello, Madonna!
    Did you know that v=r(1/n1^2- 1/n2^2)?

    On a sidenote from leaving a smart comment (as my teacher told me I had to): I don’t think you should use your blog to promote your religion.

  616. this is an interesting blog, i would never have expected to read something like this on your blog. nothing negative though. I like it.

  617. Lets go baby, you and me <333333333333

  618. Andreas is right.

  619. In the first place I don’t like blogs. I do not have any interests in it at all. I get angry when people that’s 14 tell about their “hard” days in life. And I do certainly not like when celebrities promote themselv