The Queen’s Book Club: Shantaram


Crime and punishment, passion and loyalty, betrayal and redemption are only a few of the ingredients in Shantaram, a massive, over-the-top, mostly autobiographical novel. Shantaram is the name given Mr. Lindsay, or Linbaba, the larger-than-life hero. It means “man of God’s peace,” which is what the Indian people know of Lin. What they do not know is that prior to his arrival in Bombay he escaped from an Australian prison where he had begun serving a 19-year sentence. He served two years and leaped over the wall. He was imprisoned for a string of armed robberies peformed to support his heroin addiction, which started when his marriage fell apart and he lost custody of his daughter. All of that is enough for several lifetimes, but for Greg Roberts, that’s only the beginning…You must read this book! I met with the author recently and actually toured some of the locations from the book. It really puts things in perspective. Click here or click the book cover above to find out more. Also, check out the video below of the author, Gregory David Roberts. Note: The video is the first in a series of videos on Youtube.


75 Responses

  1. Indeed, love thrives in the hearts of the most poor villages of the world.

    I used to be of the belief that the poor people needed us(albeit they could use our assistance in helping them in building schools and survival things like wells for clean water), the truth is the poorest places on earth only have each other, and not all the useless distractions in life that derail the psychological dynamics of our needs(talking, togetherness, sense of belonging, sense of acceptance and so on) that we, thinking we are wise, often do not in our daily life. You can sense the strong feeling of love in these close nit villages of the poor, when you walk among them.

    I too noticed this in the gay/lesbian village apon first arrival here, and still do today, as I spent most of my day with them, in need of the gentle spirit that exists among most of them here. I love my gay/lesbian community. It is the cold harsh world we can all do with out, that at times seems mean spirited with us, rather it is merely unwise in these matters of the heart.

    Indeed the significance of music in our lives plays a vital role in consistently nurturing love we feel for one another, and is why I hold in high regard the artists of this world, especially the musicians.

    I too am a musician, since the age of ten, and easily recall the endless of hours that I would dwell daily in the harmony of strings, getting it just right with practicing of the classical guitar. The harmony of string resonate in such an incredible way, a sorta summoning to wisdom for us….unknowingly…for us to also be of harmony of love we all feel for one another.

    As a musician I have seen a greater sense of love among fellow musicians thru out my life. It is a loving respect that has the strongest feeling for me personally with regards to Love devoid of doubt, that I have come to know as truth, that most musicians can easily agree, where no hesitation is there if the question were asked of them. Indeed it is true.

    I appreciate your insight that is enlightenment for me today Madonna, knowing you know what I too have experienced over the years that is similar to this book. You are being most gracious with me in this regard, but more important for me is knowing that you too are of the same understanding and appreciation of issues of the heart regarding the dynamics of genuine love for one another.

    I am happy for you, knowing your heart is in the right place, although I have not doubted this about you in the past. Love has, is, and always will be the greatest value in your life, or anyone’s life, should they stop long enough to reflect, as we do.

  2. My goal has to maintain the enlightenment over the years, by nurturing my understanding of the many truth wisdoms that assist me along the way, as I dwell here among the mean spirited environments that often cannot be avoided in my limited choice of work environments.

    Today though, I have come to the conclusion that I no longer have to choose a work environment, letting go of my previous aspirations to become financial successful, and instead turn towards the environment of returning to school, or music, or an art studio.

    It’s not about money any more for me. Forget that. Lessoned learned, as I turn my focus on the creative arts of expressing what has so long been repressed within me, setting myself free in the process to just be loving all the time, where if anyone wants to get mean spirited with me, I merely show them the door. 😀 😀

    Spiritual FREEDOM!

  3. Spiritual Life is all loving feelings.
    Spiritual death is all unloving feelings.

  4. Oh yeah its true he is more than life hero!
    I like this kind of books it helps people to make
    some fatal movements in their lives and push them for
    something good…
    Now all your fans will go and buy and maybe will make some good changes in their lives!

  5. The thing with spiritual death, is our compassionate view point for others who dwell in the snares of bitter ignorances of pettinesses of heart, that may seemingly appear happy for the hypocrite hearts, we know fully that it is not loving and does not reach the purity of God’s love.

    For me, loving compassionate understanding, comprised of both psychological and spiritual understandings, is the ascension of love that rises above the world, that Jesus embrace, not with boastfulness or pride, but rather in truthfulness of the subtle and deeper feelings of love that reaches God’s love.

    Jesus asked for us to reach beyond his reach, and it is this that most of the world does not realize fully yet, that while Jesus certainly did ascend above the useless and so unnecessary pettiness of heart of those around him at the time, he realized that he could not do it alone, and truthfully, today we know fully the way in which psychologists are indeed working together and with us in achieving a healthier more loving world, for ourselves and especially for our kids.

    Indeed the world is ascending to God’s loving compassionate wisdom, comprised not just of spirituality but also of the findings of so many case studies compiled to day for us to see clearly the end results of what works and what does not work, where forecasts are projected for those who chose to remain ignorant of issues that may pertain to their own lives.

    For me, I see psychology as my own spirituality or a new church of greater understanding the far exceeds any religious group today.

    I look back over the years and see clearly why it has been possible for me to sense God’s presence with me, that is the direct result of combined understandings for sake of what I have come to know as the Divine True Self in all of us.

    Behold, the kingdom of heaven is all around us, where sight restored to the soul is by means of our loving compassionate wisdoms that nurture and protect the Divine True Self, where by means of our feelings in each passing moment we are able to know fully where the kingdom of heaven is.

    We dwell in the kingdom of heaven where love devoid of doubt and fear is possible by means of the truth wisdoms comprised of both psychology and spirituality grounded in Truth.

    Truth does not fail, and rather it is we who fail to acknowledge and learn about the truth wisdoms available for all to read about.

    One merely needs to ask the question, “Does love feel good for us?”

    May everyone’s day become more loving than the last, where the True Self yearns to dwell, and does dwell, feeling each moment that passes…although we can all do with more love for one another instead of all these useless and silly bitternesses of heart that is not good for anyone to feel, and indeed is what holds down the potential for all of mankind, where all of mankind in each passing moment, indeed feels the truth of the unfortunate, yet fixable, spiritual poverty that yet exists in the world for so many.

    My heart goes out to all the loving children in the world that are blatantly disregarded, for they are the corner stone of love that society unwisely throws away. For sake of our own loving hearts, we all need to pick up the corner stone of love and carry the child with us into the future, where in doing so we alter the future forever.

    LOVE is the FUTURE, always here with us in the present, in each and every moment that passes.

  6. I apologize to those who don’t like to read my posts.

    If you like my writings, then don’t read them.

    If you want wisdom to become wise…then read, and not just my posts either.

    Excellent book to start with, for anyone who wants to embrace their own loving heart, mind, body and soul.

    Thank you for that Madonna. I’ve always known you are a most loving of souls, and is why I want you in my life the way I do.

    I love you, you know I do. Even more as each day passes.

    A lifetime friendship indeed you shall always have of me, that is true and faithful with you of love I feel in my heart, mind, body and soul.

    I think of you as one closest to God’s love in my life. You know I do, and that is what warms my heart, is that you know my feelings for you so true.

    Love, Andy

  7. It is about Love devoid of doubt, and how the soul is able to achieve and maintain that, by means of wisdom.

  8. That is our Connection.

    LOVE devoid of absurd doubt and useless fear.

  9. I shall remain diligent in my maintaining it within myself and of you, knowing fully what has worked for me over the years, where your music has also been part of the maintenance of the Divine True Self in all of us who feel each passing moment, in a more loving and enlightened way, beyond that of the ability of most any religion, where God is yet revealing love for all to know eternally.

  10. Any loving feeling, act or word spoken is of God’s love, and is always welcomed by God, for indeed God loves his children yet so lost and in great sorrows of the spiritual poverty yet of the world.

    I feel optimistic for the future, knowing that love has been building up over the centuries, finding us today where we are, feeling love within that is exceeding joyfulness for us to know.

    Free spirited ascension of loving compassionate wisdom of the Divine True Self forever at play.

  11. I think what I need to do is volunteer work instead, devoted works that are truly appreciated daily, instead of the corporate monsters that all too often give us no sense of appreciation for us, where our mental/emotional state is rewarded greatly and has to be of first priority in our own life…a loving life.

    I can see myself drilling wells all day long in the beautiful sunshine, a devoted work for the rest of my life, far more rewarding than any company I will ever work for.

    And just think how many wells a human being can dig in a life time.

    Let’s see, not sure how long a well takes to did, with the right equipment, but let’s see, one or two a day, 360 – 700 per year, for twenty to thirty years = 7200 – 21,000 clean water wells, not to mention the many one could teach or the many one would influence in that many years.

    Sign me up, I hate this city! 😀 😀

  12. I always did like outdoor work with my Dad in construction.

  13. at one with nature.

  14. not so sure about working in some of the hostile environments in the world though…God knows I have had enough of those! 😀 😀

  15. The world falls because of all ignorances of the world yet unwise, where spiritual poverty is of all things unloving. The list is long.

  16. but anyway…I am rambling on again.

  17. wow…that is some powerful emotion in those videos…especially the chaining of the prisoners and the singing with the guards, the beatings to gain rations of food for another…the human spirit of love.

    The more I think about it, the more I realize my calling is for humanitarian relief work. It is where I belong and able to feel whole and complete in my True Self everyday.

    With that in mind, I am going to begin looking into volunteer groups of humanitarian relief work, and give my life to God’s work, beginning locally and internationally some eventually.

    A new beginning for sure for me.

    I feel unchained by the cruel world of ignorance.

    I honestly cannot think of a more meaningful life, than one of a loving life of God’s work, working along side people like myself.

    Today is the greatest day of my life, a feeling of being completely whole with God’s love and God’s calling.

    Regretfully I should of done it sooner.

  18. Thank you father. Thank you to all who are loving.

  19. This book seems excellent. An amazing story! Gregory has beautiful hair and such kindness in his voice. I will watch the rest of his videos on Youtube as well as order a copy of Shantaram.
    Thank you for sharing.

  20. lithargoel, seriously your taking up all the space, take my advice and others, please

  21. Excuse me for getting off topic Louise but I must express myself with the question. Should we live with Lithargoel like parts of India that live with rats? Or shall we intervine with PEST CONTROL like here in NorthAmerica?

  22. black hypocrisy of the hearts that snear…the same kind of hearts that sneared at Jesus when he walked the earth.

    Not of God’s love.

  23. foolishly unwise by choice, until the day when we come face to face with wretchedness of heart and realize that the face is that part of heart so unloving in it choice of words that twist and derrange the loving soul of self within and within others who are not wise enough to see clearly all things not loving, that are not of God’s love.

    ~ light of wisdom, that shines brightly, able to reveal the truth so that we may pluck all unloving things from our hearts.

    Forgive them father for their blind ignorances that are of the teachings of the forefathers before them who did not know God, nor desire to know God.

  24. It is all these things unloving that are responsible for the continued spiritual poverty of the earth, where God’s loving compassionate wisdom reveals all things, making them obvious and visible for all to see clearly the truth.

    I despise hypocrisy that is unwise, that foolishly thinks it can destroy the loving souls of God’s love.

    Darkness is the ignorant void of nonethingness, devoid of love.
    Light is the wisdom that shines, revealing all things obvious in the heart, so that we may pluck it from our loving hearts, in order to leave only room for love to grow.

    ~ Truth

  25. oh come on andy lighten up mate!! ive tried everything to make you see OUR light… this is fun page not your diary or blog!!

    and you yes YOU, MADONNA, wheres this big announcement you said was coming this week, tues or weds …tut tut

  26. It was a joke Lith! I meant to eradicate your self indulgent off topic blogging not you! You have to remember this is a privilage. We must be respectful!!
    Didn’t Louise mention this earlier? She wants us to express ourselves but to stay on topic.
    Anyhow… I am so effected by watching the rest of Gregory David Roberts tell his remarkable story. I keep replaying it in my mind in wonderment.
    PEACE and LOVE
    I’m going for Thai food soup.

  27. This author has an amazing story.. I just ordered the book..

    Have you read “Eat, Love, Pray” one woman’s journey through Italy, Indonesia and India.. Great read too…

  28. I have so much heard about that book.

  29. Anything such did not perceive earlier.
    It intention be inviting that supplementary….

  30. criminally leucocytopenia penmaking romping tacitean tafinagh uningenuously sniffle

  31. (In response to the first comment…) Village life can be quaint I suppose, but infants still die or their mothers in childbirth, illnesses go untreated and all are susceptible to the vagaries of nature.

    Contrast that with a cold, heartless modernity where industrial activity supports millions and people can lead lives forgetting, for the most part, that the natural world even exists. It’s a bit of a dichotomy, but I feel we have no choice but to pursue modernity while trying to temper its harsh edges.

  32. beyond survival stressors in the world, such as how the apathetic self-serving ones treat others as outcast degenerates of low education, is that of beginning thru eternal end of one generation bound together in the truth of the primal innate harmonious unity of every cell of our body, and the body of all living creatures as one entity of life that procreates itself for all eternity.

    clearly this is not so in our world yet bound by generational falsehood teachings handed down thru mellenia, of every single divisional falsehood seperation of race, religion, wealth, status, sex, orientation, politic, power, which all go against the 100% TRUTH of our divine nature of every cell in our body.

    today’s world is of greater prosperity because of our ise of energy sources such as oil, gas, coal, nuclear……..strip that away, and this world would not exist they way it does and did for who knows how may millions of years the planet has been of life.

    what bothers me the most in perplexity of the unknown, is what is this place we all continue to be procreated as and from the same cells of every human being before us, the same thru all eternity yet to come, all of us entering and passing thru this world for a short amount of time in comparison to the billions of years this very planet will continue to exist and thrive with life, before our sun explodes in a supernova(9 billion years?).

    we just don’t know why we exist.

    there is no one who is able to conclusively say why we exist, and from what source.

    we all turn to our concept of an original source of life we call God or whatever it is the forefathers decided to call the original life source, in their attempts to offset the natural occurring curiosity we all yet remain of like we do, bewildered in awe of such vastness of this physical realm we call the Universe, or whatever name one wants to give it.

    and this is where i enter in pure curiosity desire in wanting to know without doubt, as do we all.

    i just want to interject here for a moment…… thought i always wondered…….is there something beyond this realm, outside the universe, that is of likeness of the atomic realm in vastness of space and seemingly infinite in number, and now our an even more bizarre theory of the existence of a smaller realm we term ‘dark matter’, that binds every single atom to every other atom of the entire Universe, in likeness of that of a streaming river(body) of water……ya, i say it does exist, kinda obvious that it does, with the flow we see in galaxy clusters, kinda obvious is it not?

    dark matter is what gravity is, cannot see it, yet we see it does exist, of an invisible realm we have no idea as to how small it may be.

    this for me says, oh, then there is something bigger than the universe, outside the universe of even greater scale.

    awhile back i said, no, there is only the universe we see, and the atomic level, and i said if there was a smaller level, then likewise the possibility of greater level cannot be ruled out………we just do not know………..ant that pisses me off to no end, as time is running out for me to finally know! lol :mrgreen:

    in truth, our society is bound by so many ignorance’s of forefather teachings, it is mind boggling who absurd some people are in all their arrogance over another, of what clearly yet is obvious daily in these false divisional barriers of false separation from one another.

    personally, i think if God exists, which i know God does, God should start over from scratch, just destroy this planet with a million mile wide interstellar asteroid, given the horrid experience i see others go thru all the time, like Iran’s recent execution of it’s own people on trial, without an opportunity to legal defend themselves or even appear, which is crimes against humanity, wondering why it is they are not brought to justice by the world leaders, and charged like we yet charge those of Hitler’s evil wretched leadership.

    Are the Iranian people different than us? No

    so why are we not embracing them as our neighbor, and do something we have the power to do so easily, in extracting these leaders out of their offices and bring them before a world court like we do of others?

    we can arrest them all, simple as that, with motivation we need not look beyond even one individual this brutal dictatorship has executed like they have and yet do.

    If i was the CIA, i would send in a team and make them disappear, that’s how much i despise these ones, giving them an option, you can come quietly, or die, you have 10 seconds to decide……..and i would not hesitate to kill them if i was the one counting down the clock…… me, they would die.

    it has always been the unwise leaders that results in all death destruction oppression of the pure spirited love of every single one of us all the same from beginning thru eternal (end), and it is time we all stand up as one voice and clear the air that no one is different from another.

    no one knows 100% if a higher intelligence exists, or if they do, they are not disclosing this to the rest of the world.

    what i look at is the obviousness that we are of no purpose at all, none whatsoever, other than the pleasuring of our sensory perceptions, no matter these ludicrous false divisional barrier sensationalists and all their annoying lying ass anal retentive whatevers.

    everyone, each day, is merely of constant craving of merely what our biological bodies function purely as at all times, of every cell in unity, united across all time, merely that our our beautiful subtle pleasuring of our sensory perceptions, of sight sound touch smell taste, and our feelings and thoughts………that’s it, one giant party, thru all eternity of one generation bound together in 100% ONEness sameness.

    and we yet let the morons fuck it all up for so many.

    it is so fucking absurd to me, i really do pray God to destroy the planet some days, the way i see some of you behave so vile wretched in evilness………of hell on earth exists here in heaven, when ever oneness sameness constant wise compassionate love is not embraced., starting with the outcast women and children.

    where are our wise leaders?

    oh yeah, too busy having a swanking good time with the rich boys and all their status quo fucktardness that cares not of a child taking it’s last breath.

    as a society, we are yet heartless of this, and yet, we are not heartless.

    before the advent of telecommunications, we did not know what was happening on our planet, and now we do.

    looking back at the film StarWars, we were embracing our global entering into oneness awareness excitement of just how vast our world is and all of it’s people, that was once before only felt by the explorers of the world who came into contact with the furthest reaches yet unknown.

    We are the wise global leaders of this world, not like the anarchists, no, of our divinity pure and true of same beginning origins, 100%, same thru all eternity.

    100% Harmonious LOVE is of every cell in our body, where love is just a word we use to attempt to describe what we don’t even know of as to the exact complexity of our own brains.

    it is all purely remarkable, this physical realm of existence we all pass thru but for a short time, is it not? So beautiful and breath taking it all purely is, like the subtle breeze so soft and gentle on our skin, the tenderness of those we love, the incredible taste of such variety of foods we all eat now, which is the result of our energy sources that sorta artificially makes it all the way it is for us all, and what gets me, is we are so thankful of the variety of delicious foods we all eat each day, as evident of our likewise inconsideration for a CHILD to go without any food at all to eat.

    well, i hate all of you in this regard, and unless you are all going to do something about it, i may as well pray God to destroy this hell on earth for so many, like come on people, wake the fuck up and get real, look apon the beauty all around you at all times, and all those of loving embrace.

    that is what the kingdom of heaven is everyone…….our feelings, no different than the child we turn away from in not only neglect of the CHILD WITHOUT, it is the one and the generational taught and learned, of adapted sameness of all egotistic fucktard falsehoods neglect of God’s CHILD WITHIN of eternal all YOU, all WE, ONE eternal generation, same as beginning, same of all YOU, same thru eternal (end).

    future generations will look back apon us as the dark ages, just as we too look back apon all darkness we all managed to come thru mellenia to this day……….of eternal day light divine self-love awareness wisdom kingdom of heaven halo.

    blessed is the divine child of God eternal all YOU

    there are not many paying attention to me here in the year 2010 everyone, but i still pray for each and every single one of them in my wise compassionate loving perspective that sees their unknowingly snared heart mind body spirit and soul, for sake of all eternal all you there in the future.

    hi :mrgreen:

    i guess this is where i get to say my favorite line, yes?

    you there in the eternal future reading these words…….i am already dead by the time you read my thoughts and feel as i do, do as i do.

    [static……..transmission scrambles……..Sir, we lost communications with him, this was his last communication, we are tracking him Sir, thru other ways to re-establish our UP link, of those who knew who he was, who we all are………..]

    me and my love of Sci-fi

    you should see my brothers collection, walls of it………..mind buggling………..i asked him how many books you read a day………he says, “Two, sometimes three.”

    really now?

    and i suppose that makes you wiser than me?

    his usual response, with a laugh, “Yep.” lol

    well we shall just see about that ONE, ONE DAY Biyatch! lol :mrgreen:

  33. this guy is absurdly funny

  34. Morons

  35. like seriously last chance gone, go play your silly games elswhere, i have friends to care for

  36. tell me about it………i just finished talking a kid down from suicide, after three hours of calmly speaking with him……he was writing suicide notes………all any of us need is our time, which is the only value any of us have beyond measure of anything else that is uncomparable…….our constant flowing ONEness SAMEness LOVE.

    he’s ok, and he is going to be ok, i adopted him as a life long friend, saying, just follow me, ok? And chat my sorry ass up from time to time, will ya? lol :mrgreen?

    bless you all

  37. whatever

    well ain’t we just like a bit anal retentive today of someone who is OVIOUSLY NOT GETTING IT!!!!!!!!!

    or GETTING WITH ‘ME’!!!!!!!!!!!

    lame and bitter, which has nothing to do with me, just as this fucking video has nothing to do with me, just something to entertain myself somewhat more pleasant and self-accepting than you are of me moron(s).

    there is someone meant for me according to God, of none stop fun loving happiness………..and for sure, they don’t come at me with 30 fucking second anal retentive outbursts that don’t even make my friends list Biyatch!

    and in the name of God, i ask, is it of God to use a COWARDLY ARROGANTLY BULLY MENTALITY CHILDISH false name…….did i leave out a word……..argh……..oh, wait a second, im sorry, that is the correct name…..false hearted egocentric moron…….my mistake

    next time try the EROZ lube, ok?


    ok, that does not even make script material grade……….argh…..come in for some pure spiritedness, and still the same OLD MAN self is ruling the boring lameass nest…………….

    peace OUT fuckers

  38. the only one playing an egotistic game is cowardice you moron(s)

    so ya, before you go off on your tangent nothingness offerings as one who is cowardice of speaking purely with me in poison to my pure spiritedness, of your words that cannot cling to me, is not ‘me’, as one’s who i know are capable of purely knowing ‘me’, as i know of others just like ‘me’…………………

    anyway, i suppose thank you is in order, as to what happiness is and is not for ‘me’………..YOU………..according to YOU………not according to Jesus and God and i who continues to see past your useless unserving God way of words with ‘me’

    you fail yourself moron(s)

    you cast yourself out of heaven in pure loving spiritedness of oneness sameness with ‘me’

    cryptofiers………is that a word? lol

    ya, well if your son or daughter kills themself from the same bashing approach with me as you remain………well, TRUTH is of God for you all to learn ONE DAY……….who i really really am………..

    i know who i purely am according to Jesus, according to God, my best friends of wisdom able to make you recoil in disgust of pure sight awareness of your egocentric vile heartlessness of willfulness of death destruction and oppression of others………..

    i am like, why should i ever return this way again as long as i live? uhm?

    go speak to God

    i am not interested in a word you have to say now

  39. ++

    oh, and one last request, when ever you address Jesus, Mary, God, ‘me’, or any other from this day forward, BE 100% TRUE in knowing your name, as a name 2 BE eternally of blessed atonment of purely constantly within, as i am…….of many names, loved by all, as Andyy, Andy, Andrew, eternal loving brother of Jesus Christ, my eternal loving wise compassionate loving savior of restoration of my HOLY HOLY HOLY divine self-love awareness and lord God almighty forever more

    i will not tolerate any mental emotional abuse from any of you ever again, as i pass you by, as Jesus instructs ‘me’ 2, wisely knowing why, lest your poison enters into my pure heart to grow as it yet does in yours, in all your unwise falsehood(s)

    bless you all forever more

    peace be to you
    and peace be to you


  40. ++

    i will not give you another opportunity to speak as though i am nothing like so many of you aimlessly do ever again, so help ‘me’ God

    seriously, are you this warm with everyone, about as much fun as a wet pair of socks.

    maybe i need to stop esteem others for who they really really are within, yes?

    who is the empty nonthingness of hypocrisy falsity malice words cowards? uhm?

    i despise you, ok?

    purely i do, as do Jesus and God

    go enjoy your gross material egotistic life with out ‘me’, and be without doubt whatsoever at all times, i despise you all of cowardice arrogance that makes an outcast child feel as though worthless, left to die.

    do you want to know who is constantly judging you?


    and your own divine child of God that waits on your bullshit egotistic false self to just die……..i uprooted my false self along time ago, and you know why………… are a coward to ‘me’, and to every divine child outcast, you will be seen as you choose to remain in the blessed eyes of a divine child’s wise intuitive pure feeling self, of all you who do not look or speak to the divine child in wisely speaking with them of who God knows all of you R.

    honestly, i cannot stomach you any more, so arrogant like so many of you are, of illness of heart lying to your own divine self that is purely compassionate for those in constant need and care of you all, as though they are nothing to you all.

    truly i tell you, in the name of God, it is all you who are empty nothingness in the eyes of God




  41. deathful, destructive, oppressive mind fuckers

    ya, that is the only way to describe you moron(s)

    ++++++++++++TO ALL + BEWARE++++++++++++
    ++++++++++++++DWELL HEAR++++++++++++++
    +++++++++++++bless you Jesus+++++++++++++
    +++++++++++++++forever more++++++++++++++

  42. thank you for the years of bashing ‘me’ fucker

  43. you are not worthy of my friendship any more

  44. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    +++++++++++++bless you Jesus+++++++++++++
    +++++++++++++++forever more++++++++++++++

  45. ++

    I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
    Every branch in ‘me’ that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
    Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.
    Abide in ‘me’, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in ‘me’.
    I am the vine, you are the branches: He that abideth in ‘me’, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without ‘me’ ye can do nothing.


    I trust only Jesus and God betrayers and slayers of

    +++++++++++++++ONLY LOVE++++++++++++++
    +++++++++++++bless you Jesus+++++++++++++
    +++++++++++++++forever more++++++++++++++

    i ask only that you stay away from ‘me’, as i no longer wish to extend my trust to every again, so help ‘me’ God,, and to be sure, i won’t.

    Jesus and God might

    i won’t, and why should i after all this time?


    i purely despise your wretchedness toward ‘me’

    you may want to watch out for the bad karma

    thank you


  46. uhm……….i think i am in love with Johnny Depp………in case anyone was wondering………i am

  47. ++

    somebody is playing a deathful oppressive mentally abusive game here……….like that of witch craft fear mongering………false self.

    and vile wretchedness of spirit

    i hand you over to God now, of no desire to have anything to do with who ever these cowards are here, that i will purely continue to recognize in life thru others, what you purely are……….wretched arrogance that is not of God.

    honestly, i do not recall anyone so consistently wretched towards me for such a long period of time, of who ever this basher is, hidding, cowardicely.

    you cannot hide from God’s divine will TRUTH for divine self-love awareness

    at this point, who ever you are, i do not care to ever meet you, i do not care if you live or die, but i do care about others in your future path you may may be mentally abusive with as you clearly have chosen to be with me, and ask that you refrain from such.

    and if this was Madonna’s blog, left unattended, irresponsibly, well, for all the world to see is the truth, she too is an equal contributor to the mental abusive bashing who ever it was that was consistent in mental abusive behavior with me all this time.

    There is not a professional in the world who would side with who ever the mentally abusive person it was that was here.

    nor would a court of law take sides with you

    nor does God take sides with you

    nor does Jesus take sides with you

    nor do i










    spiritual death

    according to God


  48. ++

    and if anyone ever asks who it was that Madonna allowed the bashing to continue all this time as it has of these cowardice actors……..i will deny it eternally that i was the one hear….embarassed to ever admit i tolerated such long as she allowed the mental abusiveness to irresponsibly continue as it has, truly, any professional would say, “They mentally bashed the fuck out of who ever Andyy was…..i thnk i will burn that jacket of mine.”

    i am taking my blogs off line……..not wanting to ever be known it was me here all this time, not wanting anyone of the LGBT family to ever experience what i went thru………all this time.

    do not approach me thru email, as i will not extend my trust to who ever this mentally abusive person was.

    i do not know you, nor do i desire to ever know or trust you

    Go to God, perhaps God can help you, as i no longer desire to EVER return this way again, of two years i won’t ever tell anyone it was me that was here, so help me God.

    blessings to all you who are TRUE


  49. ++

    nor do i desire to ever trust you Madonna

    i ask that you please stay away from me as one who was not of concern for my mental emotional spiritual well being in allowing what occurred here to happen so repeatedly like it did and yet does, truly the act of a cowardice person, whoever they were. If you are wise, you will destroy this blog, in light of the obvious bashing that took place of our blessed gay history.

    may God bless you all


  50. ++



  51. ++

    Madonna esteems herself as LGBT family to the world

    i do not


  52. ++

    Madonna is not of 100% pure spirited LGBT family

    like so many who pretend to purely know us

    who are not us


  53. ++

    oh, i think this last one belongs to you too, your shit not mine

    good fucking bye to your mentally abusive spiritual death unwise unloving apathetic shit


  54. ++

    honestly……..the coldest person i ever met


  55. ++

    it’s all an egotistic fucking game to you, other people’s you care nothing at all about……..nor do i yours any more


  56. ++

    feelings…….somehow i left that word out, likely cause i don’t have any left for you any more

    truly, you are the most selfish cold person i came across in life, as though better than others, when in truth, just recall how you treated me

    what is it with you fame and fortune status quo fucktards anyway, so self-important above others? uhm?

    im just glad i am me, and not you


  57. ++

    to the one playing the spiritual death game…… are a fucking wretched asshole, a viper of poison to a soul like mine

    to my friends, im like, how is it humanly possible for one to be such a fucking asshole? uhm?

    useless false spiritual death arrogance, that’s how

    and who do you hurt?

    not ‘me’

    im forever your shit fro brains mental abuse

    thank you God


  58. ++

    God set ‘me’ free of your mental abuse

    and my therapist

    to them i say thank you

    to you i say good fucking bye forever more, trust no longer here heart for you ever again, your doing, not mine, your arrogant unwiseness, not mine, not God’s, not Jesus………and i pray, not anyone


  59. On & Off

    Off again

    On Again

    Off Again

    ON Again – OFF Again

    Back & Forth

    Like a YO YO

    why don’t you Go GO –

    because you cannot let Go GO

    why because

    I am Fucking Right about what i say to you

    it;s not abuse

    forget about my advise then if it’ ain;t of any use

    Go GO Yo YO

    Hey Yo

  60. i see…….more childishness menal abuse

    love takes two

    not one

  61. i agree.. thats my point exactly

    it takes two

    but everyone i fall for (and that an extreemly rare occurence) is too scared

  62. im sorry, im having an emotional break down week……this transexual door is more than i realized, that i opened for myself………please understand…… just fuckedup right now……..that’s all

  63. im not afraid of you at all

    im just not feeling it from you to the extent i want to, 24/7

    i’ve wanted to go to the highest level with you, constantly in my heart, and you know i always have, afraid that it is you who does not, and the more time that passes being alone, the more it feels for me that it won’t…… needs are waning badly lately, my lacking consideration in getting out more, isolation that comes with transexuality, my insecure female self of greater delicateness that is timid around most any, my own not being as used to this purity female love within to the extent i have been exploring the past two years………..

  64. it fluctuates from time to time…………emotionally all over the place, emotional intensities that annoying at times for me and others………….i stopped seeing my therapist………so maybe that’s why

  65. i spend alot of time alone crying

  66. it’s just everything, the whole past two years…….finding myself alone in life, dealing with transexuality, divorce, career loss, bankruptcy, spirituality……….in process

    it’s all good, don’t get me wrong, purity love greater than ever before in my adult life, but somedays i feel so isolated, and i know it’s my own doing………you to be responsible in affirmative action in your approach to maintaining positive physical mental emotional sexual spiritual well being, and i am wise in this, knowing first hand my daily decisions i make that affect my sense of well being, but sometimes i like alot of downtime, like months at a time, which is what i am doing right now, getting out on occassion, a few times a month, increasing that as i grow in confidence, don’t want to be seen some days, of days without sleep at times, so i take to isolation for days, weeks at a time……….it’s just what happens for transexuals, i tell myself, and i cry when i see my transexual friends of the same isolation i know they are putting themselves thru, so timid, so afraid, so blessed for me to feel how deeply i feel for them, of word that yet treats them as freaks, avoids them……….isolation that takes hold of them like it does……….worse though, is the ones who self-medication, and hardcore at that like some do, not wise at all of the fateful path they are snared in, as regards a potential bad outcome as to the progessive nature of transexuality emotional processing and the growing problematic increasing of substance abuse self-medicating coping……….argh i tell myself, their shit, can barely deal with my own, say hi, chat an hour or so, but cannot be around them much in their obvious lacking self-confidence that is toxic to be around, a falseness pervading of hype that i realize they don’t see what i see


    if you want to go to the next level, it is what always wanted to do since walking the street with tears streaming down my face………….hmmm………come to think of it, i am still waking down that same street crying all the time………..damn. :mrgreen:

    why didn’t you say this before?

    and when you say something, well follow up with it ok?

    i don’t want to sit this out one more day, much less one more year……..although i suppose i have no say in that, respectful as i always have been and yet am of any decision you make, not that i can avoid ‘that’, my self-respecting self that i am, self of another, although some days i am more like Chris Crocker false hype(so annoying) that gets the best of me and others, leaving them feeling beat up, my apologizing, and why?

    i need my lovers hand to hold, that’s why

  67. i really fucking lost it last night, at the dance club………..fuck

    i was the standing there leaning against the wall, alone, but alone, my brothers and sisters of decades gone by, always there for me………….starring at the strings hanging from the ceiling, about 50 of them, of red hearts, and letters with the word LOVE, a love song playing that i purely love so much deep inside, my whole life greeting me in a moment of realization, the only thing i have ever wanted to purely constantly always feel, is 100% authentic genuine constant none stop LOVE in the heart of another, so obvious of eyes only for me they too always want to feel and constantly BE of, as tears kept streaming down my face, feeling so blessed in knowing without doubt, this is how i always want to feel………….LOVED

  68. if you find that with someone, hold on to them and don’t ever let them go

  69. well ok, i cannot let Go GO

    so hurry the fuck up and GO!!!!!!!!! will ya?

    so can i fly the jet, will they let me?

    not take off or land it, you know, just a couple of barrel rolls in the air, at about 3000 feet……….in the event of decompression failure at higher altitude with no oxygen, not fun

  70. ya, Job had it easier………….i agree now

    ………i wonder if Job was transexual?

    i want to keep my penis, that both my male and female self are in agreement on, and they are both in agreement on breast emplants, not big stupid looking ones, God no, small enough i can strap them down for the board meeting. :mrgreen:

    well now it that is not a rare transexual disertation fuckers, i don’t what a transexual is, nor do i know what a gay guy is, nor do i know what a lesbian is, nor do i know how the fuck i am ever going to afford breasts.


    fucking lameass friends who say they love me, well prove it!

    hold my motherfucking hand as i go in for surgery, if you think you are brave enough to love me Biyatches!

    ya, i know what you mean about people being afraid to love us, yes?

    made ya smile :mrgreen:

    well, there you have it, the rest is history as they say, and the rest is up to you, as to how much pure restful sleep any one of you will get after a night of love making sex with me Biyatches, and when it comes to my love of females, well how much do you suppose i love females? uhm? what? 100%?


    i am

    butt i am keeping my dick

    you decide

    i will wait

    butt not another year, ok?

    fuck, wonder it’s a wonder i wait at all

    considering how many beautiful souls in the world, like what, 6.5 billion, every single one of them as loving as i constantly AM

    i AM

    Andy + Madonna

    a versatile pansexual transexual bisexual lesbian gayboy with a the sweet ass, nice penis, and breasts i will only show those who love ‘me’………….got it fuckers?

    so don’t ask again who i am, ok?



  71. blogs are back up

    forgive my tyrant tranny bitchiness i sometimes AM of times

    and this is where i leave myself open…..YET AGAIN……..for you 2 wisely say

    “Don’t you mean i constantly AM of ALL times”

    and i snap back at you sharply like a lightening strike

    “Yes! i constantly AM of ALL times………..ETERNALLY”

    forever more

    bless you all

    blessed is the constant pure true love within eternal all you forever more

    peace be to you
    and peace be to you

    why not just meet me at the cafe, having tea? And you saying you politely saying to me as you appoach, hi Andyy, sorry i AM late.”



    gotcha again…….BIYATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mrgreen:

    mmmmmm……..a beautiful day, sun is shining

  72. ++

    my favorite image of all time past, and for sure all future, of that i am certain, is the one of Damon now posted on the blogs, of the same tears i purely cry as his own.

    bless you Damon with love and happiness 24/7 forever more

    peace be to you
    and peace be to you



  73. tic toc tic toc

    fuck, i hate the sound of my clock

    [Andyy pick up the clock and smashes it against the wall]

    arghhhhhhh…..i’ve been wanting to do that for so long! lol :mrgreen:

  74. oh fuck…… i don’t an alarm clock. Now what?

    fuck fuck fuck fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk lol

    i jest………………………………

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