I will be making an announcement very soon. I hate to be a tease, but that’s just me. Check back later for more details. Something big is coming! Next week is going to be so much fun!
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Madonna Blog 
Good to have you back….
We’ll hold onto our hats… 🙂 And our dancing shoes…
Come to Texas!
Absolutely Stunning…
always ready for fun of course!!!
This lame world can be so boring, the walking dead it would seem.
Oh well, thankfully some of us have educated ourSELF on what matters every step of the way…as for the rest, the power of the ALL will eventually lift them up to love’s embrace so gentle and true.
Not so sure about the gentle part though, as angry sex can be quite fun sometimes! 😀 😀
Right Marco?
where’d Marco go?
JOY JOY JOY
LOVE LOVE LOVE
May joyous celebration of loving life continue for us ALL!!!!
hmmm…she is happy Marco…this is a good thing, YES?
You can feel her smiling!
Hey, people are excited about your 25 years in pop music, with creative videos like this one:
I always liked how you kept a one on one approach with your creative pieces for you audiences. Indeed the approach with our True Self is as ONE, and our feelings are as ONE for another in each passing moment.
To live each moment as loving moments is a blessing for those who discover the True Self, which feels everything each moment that passes, including this one with you and me.
I want so much to see you happy all the time, and I feel it within me as well.
So what’s up?
You are adopting a child from every country? Now that would be big news indeed for the whole world! So incredible an impact it would have on all the cultures of the world in so many ways, where love is what is nurtured within all.
Big news…hmmm.
Any guesses Marco?
come on Marco, use your imagination that we are so good at!!! 😀 😀
Hey Marco, maybe she will invite you and I to be her clowns for all the kids she adopts, forever at play, with exceeding joyfulness and laughter everyday!!!
it sounds good, i look forward to hear and to move my arse on it, or to hear you every day in my car when i m going to work…kiss
Or, maybe we could all just invite ourSELF Marco, into the kingdom of heaven all around us that with sight restored to our soul, it is by means of our loving feelings for one another that we are able to know fully where the kingdom of heaven is.
Where exceeding joyfulness is always available for us, merely be turning towards our own loving feelings we all have(mostly) within us for each other and another, especially for the lovers who dwell in love’s embrace of the lovers who are most loving of each other and another.
Indeed, Truly we know the Truth of how incredible love’s embrace really is for the loving lovers who feel every moment of each day the feelings of, ‘ I Love YOU so much!!!’
LOVE LOVE LOVE
I always loved this old song, from when I was a kid in the 70s.
It has a liberating feeling to it of celebration for freedom from all useless absurdities, like the many rebel teens like us felt way back when.
ya, I always loved rock n’ roll.
It is our roots from the 70s…you remember it?
Always good to reflect from time to time.
I use these old songs as an experiential technique for the True Self.
It is profound some days, as I recall my thoughts and feelings laying in the sunshine so long ago, with music playing, as though I am still there, and where indeed I am still there, here and now.
The True Self.
Hi M,
YES. i´m ready here in Copenhagen, and can´t wait for next week… I think you like to tease a bit sometimes – like me 😀 😀
Sometimes i can make people tease-crazy, just for fun.
Welcome back, and i hope you have forgot the horse.. 🙂
Love Peter
born ready!
Just like you!
We are alot alike. I feel it.
There is an incredible trust thing I feel with you, that I have not ever felt with someone before.
care to explain? 😀 😀
with you, it is like a friend who wants to always be with me every moment forever.
It is not fearful in any way.
It is always loving at all times.
It is genuine and true.
It is mild and of great strength too.
As strange as it may sound for others to hear, I do not feel any fear with you at all, in fact I feel like you feel the same way for me, and to feel it so real, is like having a beautiful dream coming true.
anyone care to explain what is happening with me?
LOVE LOVE LOVE 😀 😀
God wishes us all ONLY LOVE!!!!!!!
And I heard a great voice from the throne.
“Mom, Billy keeps taking my crayons!”
😀 😀
You are my strength that protects me.
we are all each others strength, where love is what sees us all thru.
Love heals the child within us all, and all the illnesses of the heart that may ever come our way.
Love is all that matters, and all that ever did matter since the beginning of time.
My favorite author is Dr. Charles Whitfield.
My favorite spiritual teachers are father and Jesus, and only them.
The greatest teacher of all in life has been my life experiences, combined with my on going work in progress of the Divine True Self that exists within all of us.
We are all children of the light of truth wisdoms, that nurture and protect the Divine True Self within us.
What is crucial is that we embrace these wisdoms that are easy for everyone to understand, where what is required is that we welcome it for sake of our Divine True Self.
God fails no one. We fail ourselves in life.
God casts no one out. We cast ourselves out in our own blind ignorances about love devoid of doubt.
Love of doubt exist at the core of our Being. We are born with it, and where God’s grace is found.
God’s grace is what is crucial and what is lacking in the world.
Nonetheless, love continues to build up in the world, and I am pleased to see and feel it everyday.
spelling error:
Love devoid of doubt exists at the core of our Being.
We are born with it, and where God’s grace is found.
seriously though.. mate have you not gotten the hint, everything you had written previously has been erased by HERSELF…SHE IS NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU, HER SONGS ARE NOT ABOUT YOU.. YOU ARE NOT JESUS OK?
stop quoting self righteous bullshit and arrogance ok?
god it is soooo annoying to see this crap written here everyday
and everybody feels the same but they dont want to upset everybody.
but your moaning on about CRAP is upsetting everybody
JUST GETTA DIARY!
we’re not interested in your point of view on life, this is a fun page about madonna NOT ABOUT YOU OK
GET THE MESSAGE ANDY… ITS NOT ABOUT YOU!!
Indeed, you are correct John, it is not about me. It never was about me.
It is about all of you.
Unconditional love of God. That’s what it’s about John.
That’s what it has always been about, even for those who are caught in the snare of blind ignorances.
where God is only love, that is meant for the Divine True Self in all of us to feel, where sight restored to our soul is by means of our feelings of love for one another.
So it is not just about me John, where you think I am arrogance of such, rather it is about the connection between all of us…
…LOVE
Although I hesitate to think that there is much love between you and me John, and yet there is, but not with your blind ignorances of words devoid of love that are so unloving and bitter.
Your words reveal the condition of your soul John. You may want to try and find words of love in the future, for sake of your True Self.
Nobody likes the hypocrite heart, except fellow hypocrites that take delight in such wretched bitternesses so empty and devoid of love, and so devoid of God’s love.
What comes out of your mouth is what is able to derange your own soul, not mine, for I see clearly the condition of all souls, and why they are the way they are…teachings of the forefathers before us who did not know God, nor desire to know God.
I know God, and I know God is only love, and not all these useless and absurd words of bitterness that are from the pettinesses of the hypocrite heart.
You will not find me dwelling too long with such individuals, where I despise all foolish bitternesses devoid of love that ARE the spiritual poverty of this world.
Words of bitterness are not for me, nor are they of me, where it is you John that does not know me, nor desire to know me, nor will you in your approach with me like this.
God wants us to be considerate of one another, where only love is good enough for our children, and for our child within, the Divine True Self within us all.
So ask yourself John, “Are you loving all the time?”
As for me and Jesus, I surrendered my life to Jesus at the alter before God, know fully in my heart and mind that there is no one as loving as Jesus.
I seek the wisdom and love of Jesus for I have not found peace and serenity in this world like I have with Jesus who is a true and faithful friend of mine.
Jesus is my mentor, who’s sweetness of love I drink from the cup that is measured out to me by God.
I never once proclaimed that I was Jesus.
I am his brother that loves him with all my heart, mind, body and soul.
We are all children of God’s loving compassionate light of truth wisdoms.
I am a child of God. We all are.
You said it yourself John, you are not interested in my point of view, where it is you that knows very little of me to form such an opinion.
Too bad, because I think rather highly of myself, and the True Self that exists within us all.
Thank you for your bashing John. Now I know you as one to keep my distance with you.
You are the bitter nashing of the teeth at the door, a friend of bitterness, not love.
As for me, I just want to have fun, where my least favorite thing in life is the pulling of my nose hairs! 😀 😀
So painful and so not fun!
oh god.. GETTA CHURCH FOR F@!KS SAKE
lol
delete….delete…delete
Louise.. CAN YOU PLEASE BREAK UP THE DOG FIGHT!!
Lithargoel..
We love you, but there’s some truth to what John’s saying… Post yourself a lovely blog.. We’ll all come visit..
Louise –
Can’t wait for your announcement. We’re depending on you to kick 2008 into high gear. Start us off on the right foot. It’s time for another Madonna “Revolution”!
Yeah, well I love her, and so I will say what I want.
a real shit this lithoargogo
you will come visit, only if I invite you.
Actually we are all invited to the kingdom of heaven, but you have to check all mean spiritedness at the door of love devoid of doubt, where sight restored to the soul is by means of our loving feelings.
As for loving me, you don’t know me, nor desire to know me.
of course we dont know you, when you go on about how much you understand the “kingdom of heaven” did you ever think that maybe the “kingdom of heaven” is the universe? the heavens above us? y’see these are my beliefs andy but i dont force them on anybody and because somebody maybe wont believe it i dont threaten them or try to belittle them in anyway because that is patronising and insincere, i dont care what you claim to know or believe, usually i would be interested in philisophical conversations but ure so self righteous that i know i would not enjoy it, so for one last time SHUT UP
Hey M.,
It is next week now… it is next week now.. her in Copenhagen it´s monday now..
I just can´t wait for the announcement any longer, maybe some Hot Tamales will help me… 😀
Love Peter
Why not say something nice to some that love’s Madonna John, and who she loves?
Why continue to embarrass yourself in front of her like this?
Telling me to shut up…you are so unloving!
really and calling me a moron and an asshole is not unloving??
the annoucement is not for today :-(( , but i think you can be tired by the travel , if you have taken te plane for the comeback for…, bisous.
I jest in calling you a moron, you moron!
As for the asshole comment, forgive me of that one, as I was likely having a bad day…nothing to do with you, and really my own inability to control my tongue wisely.
So Andy when was the last time you had some real COcK in your mouth ? I dont mean soft COCK i mean REAL COCK ?
Almost about to gag, but enough to savour ?
enjoying all that firmness
yesterday!
ok, so we know the eternal all are from the same place, entering into this unknown realm of existence from the womb of God, all of us of the exact same pure core of our being light(self awareness) within that is of our biological pure harmoniousness at the moment of conception, of a constant tangible cognitive awarenes that does exist within eternal all, is eternal all oneness sameness of one eternal generation, even of our supposed enemies, who without doubt, also are of this pure harmoniousness within the core of their being, even if blindly unaware, we are the enlightened ones who know otherwise.
so what is it that makes our enemies our enemies?
at all times, all generational false teachings is what is our real enemy, not those snared by the ignorant forefather teachings, as Jesus says.
well ok, so in knowinging this, how significant is our self-awareness atonement oneness with and of Jesus, Mary and God are regards our supposed enemies who are not really our enemy, their heart mind body spirit and soul sadly unwisely unknowingly snared by the ignorant forefather ignorant teachings?
at all times(constant), it is life and death significance, is it not?
in all human history, all wretchedness of war is of the forefather teachings that do not embrace the constant TRUTH of eternal all oneness sameness.
is this not what Jesus means when he says, “love your enemy.” ?
what of another divine child of God who grows up in these forefather ignorance households?
is that not the TRUTH we seek?
is this not the wise understanding TRUE eternal safe passage we seek, that we must embrace, rather than repeat history?
so where are the enlightened holy joyful absolute carefree happy ones of constant radiant brilliant bright divine true real self-awareness loving light?
do not allow your divine self to be skeptical, arguementive or hesitant in embracing the truth of your own divine self God wants us to fully turn towards so that eternal all may escape thru our oneness wise safe passage, where great is the consequences of horrific holy war that may come from our own unwiseness that could see vast destruction, should we not love our enemies.
in other words, we need to befriend the true divine ‘real’ self of our enemies, and not entertain their ego self that seeks to cajole, entice, and ridicule us into it’s empty nothingness darkness that leads to no where, is from the no where void of nothingness dark ignorance of the forefathers, that God asks us to cast it back to where it came from, in leaving it behind, forgotten, not celebrated like we celebrate our love.
what are our common interests within our own countries?
what is our approach with our fellow countrymen?
that is the same approach we need to embrace with our supposed enemies, of common prosperity interests.
and if their arrogant ugly religious ignorant head rises up, well……………..let them know who God’s most powerful children constant are and always were……….US!
no one can ever defeat God’s wise eternal truth that does not change, is unable to change, just as all truth in mathematics is unable to change, so too is the constant truth of eternal all YOU
“blame the forefathers!”, Jesus says
is this not the perfect truth?
for me personally, i personally know and love Iranian homosexuals here in Toronto, that we assisted in escaping from Iran.
already, what we look for has already come, the TRUTH we must embrace, or suffer the fall out of those unwisely snared by hateful destructive spiritual death ignorances of the forefathers that sadly does snare the heart mind body spirit and soul of many in our current times, of a few warring factions yet of this unwise world evolving out of the generational dark past.
it is a process
not an answer
personally, i am a mere transgender artist who loves Jesus and God, who did help me come into eternal day light divine self-awareness that is devoid of all the useless childish arrogant bitter falsehood gnashing of teeth outside the kingdom of heaven divine self-love awareness halo wisdom that does purely shield one from the generational bullshit, by means of wise discerning of those who are of the halo wisdom perspective, and those who obviously clearly are not, as though pawns, haphazardly plodding along aimlessly in life, are they not?
of the eternal past present future, we purely see where:
+ more love begets more love
+ more wisdom begets more wisdom
+ more compassion begets more compassion
+ more hate begets more hate
+ more ignorance begets more ignorance
+ more apathy begets more apathy
it is Jesus and God who summons our divine self to enter fully into the kingdom of heaven halo wisdom perspective of constant love, wisdom and compassion of the eternal all
not a single divine child of God should die from unwise hateful apathy
there in the past, we easily see and feel Jesus constantly knows this AT ALL TIMES.
just as every cell of our bodies are constantly harmonious, so too are we not only capable of this, it is our destiny, it is what we eternally all are, and those who are contrary to this eternal TRUTH, are merely yet unwise, snared by the mad flood forefather ignorances that does drown many in the past, present, future.
this divine wisdom is what is of the eternal day light of eternal all YOU
it’s all just so stupid, so unnecessary, so vile
always was
always will be
always the truth, especially of all wretched useless horrid untruth
we of our own free countries put weapons in our children’s hands and tell them to go kill another child, without concern of asking how that child may feel purely about it?
of everyone, the divine child does NOT wish to do such things, as it goes against the divine true nature of the divine child of God within eternal all.
peace begets peace
i do feel war is unfortunately a necessary evil that defends us and liberates many from the many yet tyranny horrid destructive dictator ignorant forces in the world, where we are not of willful destruction in our hearts, no, we are about liberating precious others from the generational mad drowning flood, of our soldiers who dream daily of their loving life back home with loved ones.
we are not evil nations
not at all
we are defenders of the freedom Jesus and God will for eternal all yet to come.
i purely know i am within
i purely know all of you are as i am within
at all times
our divine true nature
give thanks to Jesus, who is the most evolved of any, of constant oneness with God’s divine will purely flowing at all times in his heart mind body spirit and soul, the same heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all YOU
oneness
of every word Jesus spoke
daily, it is all just so fucking absurd to me, this generational madness flood that keeps causing the death, destruction and oppression of so many precious loving lives like my own.
i have come to purely despise the forefather teachings, but i do not hate those unknowingly sadly snared by the forefather ignorances…….it is unwise to despise the unattended precious life of another who truly is your brother or sister
let wise compassion love constantly BE you
who i know you all purely are within
just as Jesus is
just as i am
and the spelling of my name is A N D Y Y Biyatch! 😉
cum now, get it right! lol
baby it’s all right now……..what a great tune this is!
remember how the decades of rock stars running around on stage in tights, their perfect asses setting our hearts on fire with only one way to extinguish the fire?
SEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!
wanna have sex with ‘me’……..again?
i should let my hair grow shoulder length, smoke pot and fuck all day long, you know, that smile so wide it makes your face muscles hurt from constant laughing too much?
a divine place we lovers run to and with one another, is it not?
did you know this day of May 8th, was the last day of WWII?
well, God’s war wisdom vs ignorance has not ended in this unwise world yet lead astray from purely knowing the divine self of eternal all, of the exact same ignorant forefather teachings the existed when Jesus walked the earth……..did you know some of these extremist religious ones believe it is ok to kill their own children for adultery? Even here in Toronto, a few years ago, a father killed his own daughter……i was shocked to learn this was part of their religion, and so is the world.
is it not the TRUTH Jesus upholds for all to purely realize about our own divine self, so that we may purely be able to see/feel with the same oneness clarity of Jesus as our own?
is this not what is the divine will of Jesus and God, our constant intuitive oneness sameness will atonement with Jesus and God?
Jesus and God constantly know yOUR divine self
at all times
beware of the mad flood drowning ignorances that are deathful, destructive and oppressive of yOUR own divine self true nature.
war is wrong
but if someone comes forth to kill your loved ones, is it ok to let them be killed by the wretched vile lead astray unwise hearts of another?
do we stand by and just let them be killed, knowing full well they are being killed daily, as in the past, in the present, in the future?
that is the question of war
look how many were liberated in WWII
we are the children of the parents of that most darkest of times in human history, of parents who’s hearts constantly felt the oppressive, destructive and deathful times brought apon the world by an unwise insane wretched leader.
is WWII not that of wisdom vs ignorance?
so is the world war over?
no
and likely will not be for thousands of years to come
i mean even in our own country, unwise hateful war exists in the hearts of many.
the progress of the global coming together process since WWII is truly great, with our ability to bring an end to all poverty in the world eventually, that will come, as this is what is of the true nature of the divine self of the eternal all.
we are on the correct path, not entirely, but certainly better than killing someone for adultery……….what was it Jesus said? “Let one who has never sinned, cast the first stone.”
well, if you had not sinned(hated) before, then your heart would be oneness with the angels, where Jesus knew such a person(as himself) is not able to hate another. 😉
i love Jesus, who at times, feels as though the spirit and voice of God thru someone who surrendered their heart mind body spirit and soul for God to have and use.
bless you all with divine self true nature peace grace love and happiness forever more
in the heart of a soldier, does liberation love constantly thrive, of the blessed soldier who gave us all the greatest gift of all, just as Jesus and God do, LIBERTY we thankFULLy enjoy today
the best word i can think of when it comes to Iran……….assimilation
but left isolated like they are, well, that is the wrong direction.
we have to be mature in not allowing Iran’s intentional cajoling, enticing and childish ridiculing to take hold of our hearts in where the foolish ego wants to lead us, into the nothingness void of the unwise forefathers from which it comes, who did/do not know God, claiming they do, so obviously they do not, for if they purely did know God, they would not say the vile wretched hateful unwise things they say against their brothers and sisters of all we of the entire world.
we all come from the same place, God’s womb
we all dwell in the same place, God’s kingdom of heaven
we are God’s womb, God’s kingdom of heaven
God’s unattended children
when it comes to war, i have one simple question……..
if you knew from which direction evil would enter in killing your own beloved, would you stand by and let evil kill your beloved, or would you stand between the evil one and your beloved?
that is the blessed heart of a soldier who risk their lives to save yOURs!
of course, i don’t believe killing anyone is of God’s will
but trust me, God won’t be able to help them if they decide to kill my friends, like Iran is yet doing with our loving homosexual brothers and sisters…………take my word for it, these vile wretched leaders WILL END!
these fuckhead Iranian leaders are executing homosexuals as young as 13 years old
would you pull the trigger that kills these vile executioners
personally?………….without hesitation
but this does not mean that war is the solution……..
these Iranian leaders in truth, are criminals who are holding millions hostage, and that has to be our approach with them, no different than a hostage situation in our own city, for that is exactly what these intoxicated ego power trippers are and operate as in outward appearance, drunk from their positions of the thrones of nescience they sit apon………not for long.
i don’t understand why they don’t execute these leaders when they come out of their nest into our country……..why is that?
they are war criminals, with enough evidence of wretched executions for so long now, that clearly is no different whatsoever than that of the killing regime of Hitler……….EVIL
did i just contradict myself?
TRUST IN ME
ALIEN’S ARE HERE TO HELP THIS EGO CENTRIC FUCKED UP WORLD
THINGS CAN ONL Y GET BETTER
YY
LOL 🙂
Y not?
you ever get these sorta crushing defeated kinda moments where you find your divine self caught up in senseless futile following around your fucked up ego self?
looking back on my life, i remember these moments often, of learned behaviors i picked up along the way, of life is this way, or life is that way, and then you turn around and everyone has disappeared, abandon you there to go it alone, wondering to yourself, “What the fuck am i doing? This is not for me at all, somebody else’s dream, not mine.”
ever catch your ‘real’ self pondering like this in moments alone of introspection?
i feel these moments purely, and they were major life changing path moments of my real self coming forth, seemingly afraid and beat up, weary from the brain drain of it all at the time, where all along all i wanted to do was be the pure loving heart of artist expression of my ‘real’ self.
happily, i am today, with a sense of relief to be given permission to purely express what i know is not only true of me, it is true of others.
the true mark, or value of any artist, is it not, the shedding of ego self that makes way for our ‘divine true real self’, graceful and true, not weary and blue.
that is the thing with ego, is it does not realize it is already it’s own defeat that leads to the day of eventual defeat, of the divine true real self coming forth in stepping back and purely realizing
they had allowed themselves(asleep at the helm) to be lead astray by the forefather falsehood they adopted as their own, without purely feeling thru in a pure truthful way of the yet unwise divine true real self unawareness.
already, that is the defeat of Iranian leaders and any forefather falsehood leaders away from divine true real self, is it not?
“what you look for has ‘already’ come”, Jesus says
comprehendyy? 😉
now, if we decide to push these forefather falsehood ones unknowingly leading their own divine true real self astray, it will end in defeat, that we already know, but the question is, how badly will it end?
i mean look at the severely intoxicated power ego falsehood of Hitler, who was relentless to the last day, where if you did not fight with him, you were shot, and in the end, both him and his wife killed themselves, without allowing the processing thru of and to the divine true real self, although i question if it was the divine self of Hitler who eagerly awaited to shoot his own ego in the head like Hitler did.
indicators of someone operating from their falsehood self is easy to discern, of severely limited low macro thinking comprehension thinking and feeling, closed minded, arguementive, combative, you are wrong, they are right…….
so there you have it, Iran will either end badly, like Hitler did, along with many others, or it will end peacefully, depending on our wiser approach of the process needed, where already that process is in progress with their own people rising up against the falsehood ego maniacs of the thrones of ignorant nescience their leader sit apon, prodding the leader to question their falsehood egos.
the main component of a process is ‘time’
my concern though is their countries conviction of their religious belief in killing people for adultery, that spans way back in history, where this belief won’t change any time soon, and when we look at this belief, we can only wonder what they think of our free world that is clearly the opposite of their religious belief, of a loathing they hold for us, that fuels their falsehood ego maniac rebelliousness that isolates them from the rest of the world.
it is both a holy war of God’s wisdom vs ignorance, and a psychological war of wisdom vs ignorance, one and the same war
clearly, the war psychologists are the one’s who know how the future will play out
clearly, the war psychologists are the ones who we all need to listen to, who are far wiser than any of us.
should we fail to listen to wisdom, that will be how the future will play out, where at some point in time, the falsehood ego of these unwise leaders will be defeated, taking others along with them as they already do, in executing homosexuals like they yet do, without doubt in my heart and mind, they are exactly that of a Hiltler regime.
i don’t know how it will end, in trying to embrace optimism in the face of horrid murdering of beloved homosexuals in Iran, and even the most wise psychologists cannot predict definitively what direction a process will process of these murderous criminal minds.
it sickens me to see us being even remotely friendly with the vile wretched cold calculating murderours leaders of Iran.
my guess is some of their own will eventually kill these fuckers who killed one of their loved ones, where for sure, that emotions is also in play.
but if this civil war, if you can even call it that, continues to spill over into the world like it yet is, of Iran sponsoring terrorism, well, be prepared people for horrific consequences that could easily see a nuclear bomb blast in one or several of our own cities.
already we know they are contemplating and talking about it, of terrorist remarks, “Our next attack will make us forget 9/11.”
obviously, it is nuclear bombing these vile terrorists are talking about, and they have been talking about it for quite some time now.
already these Iranian leaders are war criminals, so why is it we are afraid to arrest them on war criminal charges like we do of Hitler’s regime?
WHY?
YYYYYYY?
who else is involved with Iran?
China?
are we afraid of instability of the oil supply?
what we clearly need to be afraid of is the future that is already come.
i don’t know much about criminal mind psychology, but i am confident our own leaders have many on their team who do.
me, i am just an armchair warrior tranny who is bored with her small dick boyfriend
lol
did i just say that?
forefather falsehood leader egos, historically speaking, are deadly, destructive, and oppressive
that is what we can expect in the future until such a day their egos arrive fully in awareness of defeat.
personally, i say cut off all trade out of Iran, and sink their fucking ship before they build a bigger ship
their ship mates(Iranians) voted them into power
deathful, destructive, oppressive homophobia is not only of Iran, it is yet of the entire world, of a mental emotional war i and millions of others have been fighting for decades now, and one day, we will sit apon these foolish thrones thruout the entire world.
it is merely a matter of time of the process that has already come, there within everyone, who many are led astray in turning away from, the wise compassionate loving divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all you
forever more
Biyatches!
right now, in this moment, i am bored marco!
which means, you too are boring marco!
lol
well, it’s true, is it not?
if i am feeling bored, are you not part of my currently feeling bored?
feeling bored is a good thing, as it leaves us open to adventurous exploring what is cause for boring for us, like my small dick bf, and what alternative is not boring for us!
so think of it as a good thing, although i am not optimistic your yet being boring with me all this time is going to change, even if i do have a nice beautiful big cock, even if i do have the most perfect ass to fuck, even if i have the best sex drive one could possibly have of purely being both a female and a male of daily orgasmic heaven’s delight, alone or with another….mostly alone…….which is healthy they say, even of partners, that we enjoy masturbation alone without our partners………me, i am spoiled from venturing off with big dick boy, coming back to small dick boy, unalbe to live without big dick boy……..i am so fucked!
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
marco, you don’t even have a dick, so stop pretending you do, it is really annoying for me!
fucking bullshit, everywhere i go, everytime i turn around, more fucking bullshit bullshit bullshit………..is anyone with a really nice cock like my own ever going to fuck me again, or am i to live out my lie of a life with one of you small dicks?
marco?
MARCO?????????????
fuck, you are all talk marco, talk talk talk talk
no action………..at least not with me………..BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL
Happy Mom Day! 😉
my waundering spirit is out there alone somewhere, looking for someone real like ‘me’, gentle and true, and fun 2! 😉
Lol… keep to the Right please
penile erectile dysfunction, must be the oedipus complex
oedipus complex?
…….unconscious guilt of both my female and male self in seperating my dysfunctional homosexual father from my lesbian mother, both of whom i loved, sad to see them not of their natural occuring exceeding inner happiness like my own, taking sides with both, secretly betraying the other, secretly trashing their false outward sexual orientation in my assisting in breaking them apart?
ya, plausible, my dad was gay, and i know my mother had lesbian tendancies, i mean come on, she is an identical twin! Hello?????
not so sure if i wanted to possess either of them, in what was of my own inner turmoil of self acceptance of my seemingly possessed assed that wanted cock in it, anyone’s cock, somebody fuck me……..please?
nah………although dad’s boyfriend was a Nelly effiminate sissy ass queen like me, so dad likely had a big ass cock like mine…….hmmmm………
oh, that’s just fucked up………..there was my uncle though, who really did have a big cock that i loved looking at in the shower……..what? They were poor, and wanted to conserve water, so we showered together all the time……….i do remember smiling one time though, secretly compelled in wanting to touch his hardon of an enormous cock when i was age 11, what’s that about?
lol
penile erectile dysfunction?
ah, you are talking about yourself, not me
ooopppps…….
LOL
right?
oh, i know i am all right, it is all of you i worry about…….
i mean how many trannies out there are fully accepting of both their female and male sexual behavior to the extent i am?
where my male self purely loves the female of both the female of a male body and the female of a female body
where my female self purely loves the male of both the male of the male body and the male of the female body?
Y?
i am both, that’s Y! duh?
kinda difficult not to love that of another who is the same as your own self, is it not?
you know, i do have this desire to find my twin, that would be so amazing, having sex with your self, the way you know you love it, the way they too know you love it the same way they love it 2, all night long………with the correct lube of course!
and candle light
ocean waves and moon light too
you know anyone like me marco?
someone who loves sex everyday?
healthy
i am
mostly…….
SIGN THE PETITION
Poverty will never end unless there are real solutions to end it; solutions based on economic justice and political changes.
In conjunction with our experts we have developed 10 Solutions to End Poverty.
Our goal is to get 10 million signatures (globally) in 10 years and to moblize your support to force our leaders to implement such policy changes.
10 Solutions to End Poverty
We The People Demand:
1. The full equality between men and women in public as well as private areas of life, a worldwide minimum wage of $20 per day and the end of child labor under the age of 16 with the creation of a subsidy for scholarship.
2. The guarantee of shelter, healthcare, education, food and drinking water as basic human rights that must be provided free to all.
3. A total redistribution of idle lands to landless farmers and the imposition of a 50% cap on arable land devoted to products for export per country, with the creation of a worldwide subsidy for organic agriculture.
4. An end to private monopoly ownership over natural resources, with a minimum of 51% local communal ownership in corporations, which control such resources as well as the termination of intellectual property rights on pharmaceutical drugs.
5. The cancellation of third world debt with no reciprocal obligations attached and the payment of compensation to Third World countries for historical as well as ecological debt.
6. An obligation of total transparency for any corporation with more than 100 employees and a 1% tax on all benefits distributed to shareholders of corporations to create unemployment funds.
7. The termination of tax havens around the world as well as free flow of capital in developing countries.
8. The cancellation of taxes on labor and basic consumption, the creation of a 2% worldwide tax on property ownership (expect basic habitation for the poor) and the implementation of a global 0.5% flat tax on all financial transactions with a total prohibition of speculation on food products.
9. An equal voting for developing countries in international organizations such as IMF, World Bank, WTO, and the termination of veto right for the permanent members of the UN Security Counsel.
10. A commitment by industrialized countries to decrease carbon emission by 50% over a ten-year period as well as reducing by 25% each developed country’s consumption of natural resources.
We the people commit to not vote for a representative who would not endorse at least half of these propositions and to boycott any corporation which would oppose the implementation of any of these propositions.
Oneness of two, of ‘me’, of you
you can sign the Petition here:
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/10-solutions-to-end-poverty
Truly, corporate stealing of natural resources from the world, of resources God knows belongs exclusively 100% solely to the inhabitants of the world, is the reality check of why poverty exists, indeed, corporate wants to keep everyone in their cycle loop as purchasers of their products they do steal from what belongs 100% to the inhabitants of the world.
$20 billion a year to end world poverty
and we spend $500 billion on the antics of our military playground bullies?
the world truly is a heartless hell for most of it’s population, is it not?
more and more i despise these corporate egocentric falsehood daily, passing them on the street, feeling the truth of those who think they are of any value, when in truth, most are of no value whatsoever, as Jesus says, “the clothing on their back is more valuable then they are.”
the ugly truth of the unwise children of God led away by corporate gross materialism piliging of the world, away from purely knowing and being their divine self, who do not celebrate humanity as the greatest value in life, indeed, celebrate their own wise divine heart…….unable to celebrate that which they do not purely know, are they not?
prosperity cannot come to the world, so long as prosperity is being legally pillaged by corporate slave masters of deception.
it is an ugly world in God’s eyes, in the divine child of God’s eyes, is it not?
so what is the solution ‘everyone’?
you know, in a single afternoon, you government leaders, corporate leaders, and the rich, could snap your fingers and end all starvation in the world, by committing a small portion of your GROSS vast wealth to saving the lives of so many starving to death in this moment.
those who stand by and do nothing like you all CHOOSE to do, are just as evil as Hitler’s death camps that purposefully let people starve to death.
your hearts and minds are poisoned by the blind empty nothingness forefather teachings of self serving gross materialism egotism, an illness of heart, according to Jesus, God, and ‘me’
people think God’s judgement will one day come
already God’s eternal truth from the beginning thru eternal end is come, is it not?
for those who are blind, you do not know, nor desire to purely know God’s eternal truth of your own divine self.
that’s how blind you all are, and so long as you do not care for the inhabitants in the kingdom of heaven, you will not purely know heaven that has already come within your hearts.
spiritual death = physical death
where your own illness of heart greed is cause for stress related physical illness and death in your own lives, is it not?
blind leading the blind
you are not even humiliated by the obviousness of your slave master gambler relationships with societies well being, of the slaves you trick(ed) like pawns without concern for even your own future.
corporate dictatorship?
nah, just heartless self serving self elected pillaging slave master trickery fuckheads without God at the helm
the world needs the pure spirited divine child of God’s heart at the helm of these countries, and not that of banks and corporations with the government kick back leaders in their pockets.
ALL revenue of Natural resources of the planet belong to the divine children of God
those who think otherwise, are stealing what belongs to the eternal all
so how does it feel to know you are a theif in the eyes of God everyone?
purely and truly, so many of you really really are, in what belongs to the planet, belongs to all inhabitants of the world
why poverty exists, is it not?
your own blind illness of heart is your downfall, that most of you do not know, of severe heartless blindness you teach your own children as ok to allow the poverty death camps of the world to continue to exist.
billions of people in extreme poverty 100% unnecessary
negligence death = murder
ok, so now you are all theiving murderous participants of the heartless corporate dictatorship, thinking you are not any like Hitler’s regime, when in truth, you all are in each passing moment of all you who know those behind the high walls of the death camp poverty of millions in the world without clean water and medicine.
the world is a death camp prison for millions
that makes us all participating heartless self serving theiving murderers in God’s eyes, in the divine child of God’s eyes.
heartless blind following the heartless blind……..and they all fall down
more people live in extreme poverty than healthy
is this not the obvious TRUTH this fact reveals about the pillaging murderers in God’s kingdom of heaven?
i despise all of you blind following the blind, when none of this heartlessness need continue for even one more second
if you ask me to dine with you, i will not, so long as a child is starving to death directly because of so many led astray apathetic blind you
how can God or your own divine children you give birth to, love you for the obvious wretched illness of heart that grips you?
God’s TRUTH is eternally constant, same as the beginning thru eternal end, that does not change, is unable to change.
but all of you can change from falseness to truthFULness of your unattended divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul
everything all of you do in each passing moment, alters the eternal future directly and indirectly at all times, of goodness, and emptiness, of what yet is of the darkness/light mixture yet of this unwise world Jesus entered into just like we all entered into, with pure oneness equality light of our heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all you
the wise descerning TRUTH that serves the divine self of eternal all you
so ask yourself God’s personal question……..
are you the pure heart of your divine self or are you caught up with the self serving gross materialist egocentrics?
both?
well ok, then which part of you is a heartless self serving pillaging theiving murderer no different than Hitler’s regime hear in God’s kingdom of heaven?
blessings to all
well I would have sex with my twin every day, & every other day in front of the mirrow naked masterbating over my own reflextion
you do, do ya?
did you know there is an estimated 12 trillion dollars from wealthy individuals, placed in countries that are tax free havens for them?
criminals
taxable moneys on these moneys earned in taxable countries, that is not being taxed
this alone would be enough to end world poverty
the world does not fully embrace all of the world’s inhabitants as your brother and sister, that we truly all are, where we are still gripped by the forefather ignorances selfish empty ego nothings we gather to ourselves, as though that is something to be proud of, of heathenistic gold worshipping pagans , are we not?
empty nothingness that leads to nowhere, leaving others to die as we pass by
horrid
vile
truth
i feel we pride ourselves falsely, as though being better than Hitler’s regime, of wealthy blind leading the blind, look the other way, inconcideration of our brothers and sisters who are suffering from the lack of love in our blind empty hearts, where in truth, not only are the poor suffering, we too are of illness of heart lacking of love in our hearts sickness, that does progressively get worse.
as we speak, we are all experiencing worldwide, of every individual, the reality of greed capitalism disconcern consuming it’s own body TRICKERY of the gamblers allow to be of criminal exploitation of the meak.
wretched childish spiritual illness
and now the poor are having to pay higher prices for food they could not afford to buy before this recent master slave trickery relationship
we all enter into the kingdom of heaven as purely healthy spiritual intutive children of God, and what happens?
our heart mind body spirit and soul becomes snared into the slave master deception trickery of the world leaders in the same bed with you heartless vile self serving wealthy of empty nothingness pillage the kingdom of heaven for yourselves gathering that you all have legal rights to continue doing for how many centuries now?
i am not bitter in living a poor person’s life, not at all, as i detest the wealthy, rather i am disgusted in the truth of how the kingdom of heaven is ruled by corporate dictatorship extracting pilliaging of what belongs to the inhabitants of the kingdom of God’s kingdom, of all you of the master slave relationship trickery blind following the blind
what if one day your dollar becomes worthless in global economic collaspse all around you, of a direct result of wealthy self serving greed legalized extraction consuming it’s own body capitalism that has left us with high unemployment
governments have powerful capability in computer monitoring of everything corporate and banking, and they too are just as guilty in allowing the bankers trickery to run rough shod with our lives like they did, back pedaling in realizing the truth now about how capitalism does consume it’s own body like it obviously does, with no concern for it’s own future.
there is a line of no return, and if governments keep listening to the corporate dictator’s legal team arguments as they have been, well, the world will cross over that line of no return one day
trillions apon trillions of corporate revenues each year, and a child starves to death in this minute
how do you suppose God looks apon you heartless wealthy?
you esteem yourselves as though better than Hitler’s regime, when in truth, you are worse
how many died as a result of Hitler, an estimated 3-4 million per year during WWII?
how many CHILDREN die as a result of our inhumanity?
15,000,000 CHILDREN die each year from us knowingly allowing them to starve to death
congratulations everyone, for being of illness of heart worse than Hilter!
ok, so let’s say if i am a child of God who inherits the kingdom of heaven all around me
are you all not the blind following the blind forefather teaching trespassing pillaging murderous theives in the divine child of God’s kingdom of heaven you are heartlessly pillaging, destroying and selling it back to the divine children of God?
and who is able to come up against you false leaders one day in being victorious?
am i not already victorious in the light of TRUTH none of you are be able to withstand?
who fails who?
do you not all fail the pure loving heart of your own divine self, and fail the pure loving heart of your own children in teaching them the same heartlessness as your own?
TRUTH does not fail
rather it is all you who fail the pure TRUTH that has already come, which none can ever escape.
who is victorious in their heart, and who is not?
you are all murderers in my eyes, in each passing second another child needlessly takes their last breath!
where are your precious loving life priority feelings?
this blind illness of heart is a ‘real’ condition of what is the ‘real’ condition of the world suffering directly because of the illness of your hearts
a true reflection of your hearts
do not your own children secretly despise your self serving ways in their intuitive ability seeing/feeling thru your falsehoods?
eternal truth serves the eternal divine child of God which none are able to become victorious over, where only a fool blindly unwisely unknowingly of ignorance, thinks they can
a word of optimism for all of you, in light of truth that this world may not change in it’s progressive illness of heart?
an astroid the size of the moon would end all suffering forever, yes?
and one day that WILL inevitably come, should we not learn to lovingly, wisely, compassionately, purely, truly collaborate together as ONE eternal divine child of God in escaping the planet, where perhaps, that is what WILL BE mankinds final exam
personally, i am in favor of either direction, rather than daily seeing and feeling the horrid vileness of illness of heart that grips this murderous greedy world
so ask me again if i want to go to dinner with any of you monetary wealthy who unknowingly blindly sicken yourselves with forefather heartless teachings you continue to teach your own loving children who purely see and feel the truth you turn away from purely BEing as they purely constantly are within
indeed, a child leads this world
which child?
the eternal divine child of God of the eternal all yet to come
morons
China as a whole one day, will easily surpass our standard of living a hundred fold, with zero starvation, and free health care, where the people of China, albeit yet of the communist forefather past that will fade away, are far more spiritually loving of one another than we are.
i am more optimistic of China’s future stability than the Europena/American future stability, of China who is financially assisting our stability……obviously
add up all current revenues from all natural resources of our countries and what do you have?
nothing, so long as your hearts remain of the illness of heart blackness
sound is better in this one…..
pics are of Paul Francis Kossoff (14 September 1950 – 19 March 1976), was an English rock guitarist best known as a member of the band Free.
i love the raw feelings of the 60’s-70s music, that takes me back, a great experiential technique in self-awareness, even more so for you musicians who like to pic up the guitar now and then in strumming out a harmonious felt song or two, something we always were of weekly in my family growing up, where i discovered my heart’s best expression thru music and art, something everyone should explore for themselves of where to find their own spiritual self feet in life
constant fun love shared feelings is what purely is the divine self of us all seeking what we all constantly are within, LOVE, the eternal light we all come from and constantly R within
turn towards feeling ‘that’ of divine self LOVE within, in reaching out to ‘that’ of divine self LOVE within another, and what happens?
you feel wholeness of just BEing your self!
BEhold! Another eternal reproductive baby comes forth into the kingdom of heaven………and speaks a language of great mysterious wonders of true atonement that the eternal all easily recognize!
lol
babies of LOVE………trillions apon trillions of eternal reproductive babies constantly coming forth in the eternal future
‘that’ is what constantly is the kingdom of heaven, is it not?
of eternal all YOU
forever more and more and more
LOVE
did you know China currently leads the world in solar energy collection?
yep
of course i don’t, anywaz very true i also feel that experience music & art connects to the devine self, something everyone should do to connect to the positive vibe disconnect from the material world which is so ego bring the divine God like connection to all that is & turn this ego world around back to a state of constant love so many souls suffering today so much fear and hatred so much greed and destruction so much emptyness and sorrow, so much love to be shared
we all BEgin in a sacred pure perfect place(light) of our moment of conception in the womb of God, where there does not exist the inharmonious ignorances of the forefathers yet of the unknowingly unattended lost unwise world all around us
and yet, within the core of everyone exists the pure light cognitive memory we all have within us, of every divine child of God entering into the kingdom of heaven exactly the same way, all of us exactly of the same pure core light
it is this ETERNAL LIGHT TRUTH that does not change or fail, of our meditative divine self-love atonement connecting intuitive knowingness within us, within another.
turn towards yOUR purely knowing and feeling of the true divine harmonious oneness sameness light equality feelings within, in purely realizing the ETERNAL LIGHT TRUTH is the same within everyone, constantly always there within, same as the BEginning thru eternal (end), that does not change or fail, and that is how one is able to come free of the forefather binding blinding ignorant falsehoods of death, destruction and oppression, able to express evoking catharsis awakening oneness sameness of others, are you not?
do not be afraid of your divine pure self feelings that the non conducive world bound by ignorant falsehoods, rather be afraid of the haphazard plodding along unwisely unattended falsehood world of death, destruction and oppression of divine self asleep in forefather binding ignorance, for this is the mystery of Jesus and God who summon us to come fully awake in divine self-love awarenes, for sake of you, for sake of your wise ability to fully awakening the divine self within another, in onenes sameness of the adult divine child of God, Jesus, who constantly knows you are all capable of purely awakening in constantly knowing the pure fearless feelings of your own divine self.
in this world, is the forefather controlling by fear
in the kingdom of heaven, is the constantly wise compassionate loving unfrightening non controlling oneness sameness divine self wisdom that Jesus and God constantly know of eternal all you, no different in pure constant feeling as the BEginning thru eternal end
one can remove religion and embrace our true biological nature, and still see and feel with clarity the truth of this controlled world game everyone is playing along with, of forefather teaching infrastruction the forefathers left behind, none of them purely knowing Jesus and God, as evident they did/do not purely know their own divine self by everything they say and do
not ever entirely are they this way, where constantly is the core of their BEing intuitive subconscious seeking manifestations and feelings we all experience, however momentarily these moments may be, the eternal light within is constantly shining within everyone, no matter how suppressed it may BE.
what is the one thing you seek and value more than anything in life, is it not your constant desire to constantly feel loving oneness with another?
and what does that feeling cost?
and what is the value of this feeling?
beyond all the wealth of the world, is it not?
imagine a king at the end of his life, who worked to have every possession from every corner of the world, who sits alone and afraid in his castle, without any love, without any friends or family.
is the king truly alive with divine self oneness love like that of the poor?
so what is true wealth?
is not true wealth divine self spiritual oneness love like that of the poor who have only each other?
so in truth, the poor are the most wealthy, are they not?
i know you purely know the truth of this.
and why is the king afraid of purely acknowledging his own divine self oneness with the poor?
is not the king the same unattended insecure child he always was, afraid to admit the truth that his financial wealth is a mask the king hides behind afraid and insecure, afraid to allow himself to feel the pure true feelings of his own divine self love, falsely believing he is better than the financially poor?
is it not the king’s own divine self oneness feelings with divine self of the poor that the king mostly ignored his entire life?
is not the true kingdom purely that of the constant pure oneness feeling unafraid divine child, regardless of financial wealth?
is it not your divine self who is awakening in fearless pure oneness feeling of this truth i speak of?
so why hide the truth of the falsehood world from these outcast divine children of God who are made to feel worthless by a brutal murderous hearltess society?
do you not realize these divine children already purely intuitively know the truth of the contrast between their own pure oneness feelings among themselves with that of the brutal murderous heartless world?
Jesus says, “the kingdom of heaven is all around you and is you, but mankind does not see it.”
immediately my pure feeling divine self come forth in that moment, in purely realizing that what i was feeling was of my recalling how i felt when i was of yet a small child, 3-4 years old, of remembering/recalling exactly how i felt at that age, of these words which resonated purely within me in what is the constant intuitive core of my BEing, oneness sameness within everyone, is it not?
the divine self of the led astray world is slowly awakening, is it not?
by means of mirroring oneness awakening of the divine self, are they not?
so just BE yOUR SELF
your divine true real self
and if one day we don’t fuck, well, at least we both purely thought and felt our oneness sameness wanting 2!
lol
oh, just fuck me!
somebody!
please!
you cannot ever despise truth of ‘me’ which is purely your own self 2!
ah, it is so wondrous and extraordinary to BE of both female and male sexual behavior!
the thing i realize along the way during my transgender bender self acceptance process, is that i began to notice that only those in the process i was and am in, purely do accept the truth of us being both female and male, with those not of self acceptance like our own, coming forth with all these lacking understanding explainations of why we are the way we are, looking for durogatory explainations that do not purely celebrate the female and male, of their own self, or their partner, regardless of orientation, contrary to their own true self-love when they do.
so in that light, most of you are immature to ‘me’, of one who purely knowingly constantly is both female and male, 100% loving as both, 100% loving of all females in males, sexually, in being who you all are, i am 2! 😉
my art expression is still expanding in various mediums
now i am experimenting with translucent pigments mixed in with the polyester resins, using all the colors of the rainbow.
castings are coming out daily of the ‘Oneness of Two’ sculpture
i will post pics soon
blessings to all
i love you all
praying all 2 love as i do
of Jesus who purely constantly always loves YOU
peace grace love happiness
the divine true real you i constantly know i am 2
oh, if one day we were to come together in life, well, i already know we would not ever be apart, of oneness surrendered love we intuitively constantly subconsciously/consciously seek in what is who we both constantly are within.
falsehood fear keeps us apart
sadly
we could, should, would of made a powerful pure spirited oneness empowering motivating team in awakening the eternal divine children of God like we both do in following our own divine self towards one another at this time
who knows, maybe we WILL cum 2gether ONE DAY!
well, being that i am both female and male, you need not ever doubt if i want to have sex with you
i do
it is you who hesitates with ‘me’
Biyatch!
more than anything in life, i want to fuck you Biyatch!
and what bugs me the most, is that you know i do!
why is that?
see what happens when i go a day without sex?
can you imagine a week?
lol
i think you are afraid of the level of sexual happiness i am of that you too are capable of BEing
fine, go be that way, in being afraid of the inner happiness i constantly am of in thinking of you when i masturbate or am fucking another
did i just say that?
oh, i only do this sometimes, not all the time!
lol
either way though, i remain unresolved……..
what to do
why not do ‘me’ the same way i love doing you Biyatch?
i mean, can you love both my female and male sexually like i love both the female and male of you?
you could if you tryed practicing with ‘me’
i was once afraid like you
but i slowly overcum my fears in allowing myself to purely enjoy BEing both my female and male sexual behaviors
and so can you
so can any of you
trust me, if you got with me, you would be so happy!
where already i am
and yet i am not, without you 2!
get it, you 2?
a threesome?
oh, im not into that any more…….
one always ends up feeling left out……eventually
i just want need think feel YOU
the entire world awaits in ‘that’ of awakening their divine self oneness sameness acknowledgement validation
‘that’ is the mystery of Jesus, Mary, God + YOU +
‘that’ is the kingdom of heaven constant intuitive flawless heeling pure divine true real self feeling oneness sameness halo wisdom perspective Biyatches!
i am ‘that’
wanna BE ‘that’ with ‘me’ Biyatch?
then fuck ‘me’!
argh, why cannot i not stop thinking of you?
do you love ‘me’ as much as i constantly love you?
so what are you going to do?
do you think our love is eternal?
do you think we will be together as eternal spirits?
do you believe a spirit realm exists?
do you know you are eternal spirited oneness of the eternal all yet to come?
even if you do not realize you are?
true of eternal all you, is it not?
is not the passionate loving feelings alive in me, alive in you as well, of feeling these eternal words i speak?
so is Jesus alive or dead?
does Jesus not live eternally?
is not everything of you eternally felt by the future?
are you going to fuck me one day?
a simple yes or no
if you are happy, i will respect that, like best friends do
and if someone fucks that up for you, well, they best beware of the best friend standing in the wings always constantly there, even if of my sexual frustration manifestations at times, so would any of you if you were me
enjoy your day BEing YOU
same as ‘me’ 2!
admitedly, as strange as this sounds, i am ‘heterophobic’. 😉
or maybe i am afraid of my female self not sexually existing?
both
i am not afraid of my hetero side i love feeling, that comes forth when i get close with a female, where the fear at times is stupidly worring about what my homo freinds think of me, who ironically don’t think at all! 😉
lol
seems you are the only one who can help ‘me’
butt only if you want 2!
ya, i already know we would be the happiest of lovers
and i do sense you think and feel you want this 2
and i don’t feel bad in feeling this way, while loving another who does not love me in the more full capacity in who i purely am, of both female and male sexual behavior
do you feel the truth of me happiness in being loving of both my female and male sexual behavior?
it is 100% true for me
but not 100% true for those who do not fearfully enjoy both their female and male sexual behavior
inevitably what keeps me away from those not 100% like me
so is that not why we are apart physcially?
oneness sameness feeling of our divine self spiritually is always constantly there for us both, and that does not change
we seek the same
well, i am 100% the same sexual behavior of all of you females and males
i am both
and i choose to remain of my well developed happiness as both, where even if i wanted to change, i could not, like those of you who go from living a gay life to a straight life, claiming you are no longer gay
that’s just false and naive without full exploration acceptance we are all of primal innate female and male sexual behavior in our brains
common sense for me
where all these false indifference since the beginning are all forefather ignorances that yet dynamically fearfully snares your heart mind body spirit and soul
i love you
because you love me 2
w0w thats really awsome,
I love you because you believe in me without doubt
I love you because you are real
I love you because you deserve more than anyone one on the planet to be love truly loved
I love you because you will never betray me
I love you because your beautiful
I love you because your strong
I love you because you love YOURSELF
but most off all i love you because you love me 2
All I can & ever will give to you is sincerety, I can only ‘Help” you by being real I can only give you love & light by being the light
we are all capable of being the light, I just devote my life to that
you are my light, my life & my friend
my lighter when i need to start a fire
my burning passionate lover 🙂
I woke up just now & was thinking feeling you.. so it was no surprise to read your comments .. I always appreciate the confimation in word’s, it affirms my connection to myself to yourself to awake & feel the connection I have to you… it’s not everyday but when it is, it is truly comforting .. I am starting to desire it more often that feeling of being loved …. in the knowing it cannot escape me 😉
& it is sooooooooooo important to express how you feel about someone,
I do not believe in wanting what you cannot have
I believe in having what you WANT…
so many play the game, but it far more rewarding to be GAME & enjoy the play
not ever betray you?
manifestations of my bisexual sexual frustration are real for me, where at times the inner duality may come out as betraying of you, which is why it is important to me to make others purely realize that i am of both female and male sexual behavior, of mostly female sexual behavior(bottom) for the past twenty years, my male sexual behavior(top) mostly suppressed, enjoying the developing female self-acceptance of my body orgasmic experience no different than female body orgasm……….so with that said, be wisely mature in purely staying in tune with where i am at in life at age 46, where at times we both fall back to our previous lessor mature mental/emotional self from time to time, which is actually a dynamic manifestation part of journey in sexual orientation growth.
purely i am both female and male, at all times, 100% loving enjoyment as both
so in suppressing my hetero side for along time in cultivating my female(bottom) self for twenty years, of delightful choice, my hetero side(top) is recently of revisiting exploring of my previous loving enjoyment of my heterosexual life(first half of my adult life…mostly), and for sure, i did and yet do love my hetero side, of excitement i feel when i come physically close with a female.
it is not so much i have a problem accepting my bisexuality, as much as it is others, where i feel i am one who is greatly mature in life at age 46, beyond most others, having lived both a hetero and homosexual life, equally loving in both experiences
i do miss my heterosexual life
but i cannot simply shut down my homosexual life
and i am monogamous
ideal partner for me is a wise mature bisexual female who is able to love my female self, where i would easily consider breast implants, but i want to keep the penis, as i enjoy the male sexuality
it is more difficult to be internally accepting of both sexualities, bisexuality, than to be merely of one or the other
i am still growing in bisexuality self-acceptance
i will say this however, regardless of the bisexuality issue, where if one is purely spiritual loving of another person, a spiritual twin as you say, i feel their wholeness feeling love surpasses the sexual orientation issue, where at times, i do find myself feeling the truth of the spiritual psychological maturity and immaturity of others in what is of my pure subconscious/conscious seeking desire for my soulmate partner.
i do feel we can have spiritual psychological friends in life who are more mature than our partners, but that does not say our partners are bad people, just where they are at in their own growth, which we compassionately embrace their well being as with anyone’s well being.
i do want to purely surrender to a choice of a partner, and at this time, i am in limbo, and yet, i purely embrace my compassionate feelings for the mental emotional physical sexual spiritual well being of all of you, where we are all lovers, we are all friends, we are all children of God
some of you are just healthier in self-love happiness
the other part though is that relationships are only as healthy as the two partners in them, not a bad thing, as all partner relationships usually grow in maturity
at this point, i have to say i love both my heterosexual desire(top), equally as much as my homosexual(bottom) desire, wondering who my soulmate partner is, who purely acceptingly 100% loves my bisexual maturity, which i know you do, but to what extent?
enough to be a partner in your same ability as my own in enjoyment of both your female and male sexual behavior, where i know i am 100% at ease of delight without any internal phobia, other than that of the external phobia of others i am forced to contend with, and grow with like i have all these years of my adult sexual life, as i continue to do.
so catch up with the wiser mature ‘me’ Biyatch!
oh, i know you love me, and i do purely question daily if you are my soulmate partner, where i do feel i am, of why i am yet hear, spiritual encouraging and revealing my divine self exploration so fearlessly like i do, knowing your vulnerable self is no different than mine, my inability to be with just anyone, of our maturity in knowing why and what is the immaturity of others, mentally emotionally physically sexually spiritually
i will say this though, that i feel i am sexually more mature and fearless of my bisexuality
here is some more of my thinking on bisexuality………
while of homosexuality, i enjoyed being my female self, which is an imaginary female self, albeit real, as transsexuals know, where i feel i could enjoy being with a female bisexual who is purely of the same fearless embracing of the existence of my real female and male self.
for me, my female self is sacred to me
i don’t look for confrontation debate as my female self, no, she wants to only love others, despising of immature confrontation actually, having dealt with the unwise tiresome immature world for so long now.
ya, i do want you as a partner
and already we spiritually are………
is not my heterophobia actually an extension of homophobia in others?
i accept me
purely 100% i do, in each passing moment
feeling the truth that i am bound by the unaccepting world around me which does not purely know me in order to purely love me to the extend i constantly need to feel
and this is where it feels painful for me, to live without feeling purely loved, knowing Jesus, Mary and God purely constantly do, of oneness i am with them, of the divine self oneness of eternal all you
i walk among you all, but so so many of you have homophobic immaturity i have learned to live with, which leaves me feeling falsely unlovable.
so who seeks to destroy my heterosexual self?
i don’t
the homophobic world does
and that feels unfair to me, and purely false, knowing my feelings i always felt in having a family of my own one day, of ten kids, the pitter patter of little feet on the flow
i am yet alienated by immature homophobic world
and sadly, this also is why we have not physically come together in life
and of course, fear of our own pure love for one another as potential soulmate partners
can you see the two of us being alone?
how soon before the clothing starts coming off?
already the clothing is off, is it not?
we are naked, mentally emotionally physically sexually spiritually
the way Jesus, Mary, and God constantly know us, is it not?
the only way i am to purely know you
to know any of you
who are as i am 2
well, what if i am more fun than you have yet to ever realize in a partner?
have you thought of the truth of that?
without your love i don’t thrive
the transition into self-acceptance of my bisexuality is what i am going thru
truly i tell you, both of my female and male sexual desires are the same, not some game
although purely alot of fun!
2 not love you is 2 not love my self
ya, so many times when i am alone, as my calm peaceful true real self, i wonder to myself if you too are sitting somewhere at times like me, thinking of you, thinking of me, wondering if we are any different from each other, as you said one time, you feel the same way i do.
purely we all do
homophobia keeps us apart
and yet we return to one another again and again
i cannot turn away from my bisexuality
i cannot turn away from any of you
i am maturity oneness of both the female and male
purely
i am
you
you said one time, i know your true real self
ya, i do
but i am not as mature and healthy as a professional psychologist is, in nurturing you as well as they can
but when it comes to just being my true real self, well, i want to trust you the way i trust the pure real feelings of my divine true real self
which i feel is no different than you
anyway, don’t cross me off your list just yet
spiritually, i am always there, closer than you may realize
for me, sex is a door to the pure core light of our divine self’s earliest moments of life, of the pure harmonious blissFUL state light we all come from and purely are within, are we not?
our bodies purely 100% the light from where we all come from
our sex is the door, is it not?
our sex is our earliest beginnings, before conception, is it not?
ya, i love love love love my sex!
healthy
those moments of sexual delight togetherness is so incredible, beyond our concern of everything else in life while of copulation, is it not?
so ya, it’s ok for you to think of me sexually
as i do you
as i am doing you
can i do you sometime?
wanna do me?
let’s do it!
i know you want 2!
2 is better than one!
although my masturbation sometimes is truly mind blowing!
lol
how interesting.
an interesting read, didn’t expect that.
for a moment there i forgot my HIV+ status……..
that’s what you can expect from Sauna Sex, best to just go and use the sauna and refrain from having sex with sex maniac’s totally devoid of love that go there for a cheap moment of lust
it is a bit more complex than a cheap moment of lust, albeit, many who are of the uncomplicated no strings attatched extension of their masturbation hookups…..
there is some positive to the spas, provided one is 100% practicing of safe sex, of necessary self-acceptance we all need, particularily of those in the early stage of coming out, starting with their own awareness certainty that comes with homosexual experience, say for someone who has not ever had a homosexual experience, in coming into awareness that they do indeed enjoy their homosexual sex, and the mirroring of their own future self they feel and see in others who are perhaps further along in the coming out process.
to say cheap moments of lust, is a cliche of a thing to say, with respect to there being nothing cheap about the blessedness of one’s sacred life path
currently i account for my HIV infection from unsafe sex at the sauna, as way to avoid dealing with a possibility that my ex intentionally infected me, of his own bashed in self-esteem that came as with the fallout of my burnout career loss bashing of a train wreck, where everyone of a family is affected by such sudden change
and then there is my transexuality and bisexuality self-acceptance, and my still wanting to raise a family of my own one day
whatever dynamics may have contributed to my ex deliberately infecting me, is in a realm of understanding manifestation whys of people’s subconscious manipulation projection identification, all intertwined with their entire life past resolved/unresolved experiences, inner unresolved conflicts, current and future anticipation experiences, the degree to which their needs are being met, all perfectly normal behavioral understanding, mentally speaking, just don’t ever ask how i emotionally feel about it……….. 😉
honestly, i 100% embrace my HIV+ status in a compassionate loving light blessed oneness with all our brothers and sisters who are HIV+
shit happens in life
ya, i could of avoided it with better self-respect responsibility, as with any of us who are now HIV+
no one knows this better than we who are infected
we all have our ailments to deal with in life
even the words ‘sex maniacs’ is a cliche
is not anyone’s sex of a heightended maniac feeling?
and what of connected pure compassionate oneness observation love while at a sauna of our brothers who we can easily see are in the early stages of their coming out process?
anyway, what happened happened, and i accept my condition as a result of my own irresponsible doing, of my entire life that led up to the moment of infection……..although it does bother me that someone may have intentionally knowingly deliberately infected me, that feels somewhat evil to me, spiritually speaking, such a horrible thing to do to someone, obviously an extension of their victim mentality falsehood
i always knew i was not always 100% in the protected zone Jesus and were teaching me, rather of too loose boundary as with anyone of moving in and out of haphazardness of others harms way like i clearly did………why i am infected……….my own ‘lack’ in human condition wisdom clarity understanding conviction in what to expect from the unwise world……..
……..well, is not life learning conviction a process?
is not all spiritual learning process along our path a blessing as regards our devoted works that stem from our learning, for sake of the eternal all?
does not my life teach others not to be of following along blindly with the haphazard plodding along world without a helmsman?
‘100% conviction of heart wise discerning knowingness in truth’ is ‘that’ of Jesus willingly surrendering to the claws of the beast of ignorance forefather teachings Jesus knew blindly oppressively gripped the world, in how Jesus teaches eternal all us his and God’s ‘100% conviction of heart wise discerning knowingness in truth’.
future willingness goodness comes forth from my own divine self learning about my own divine self, divine self of others wise discerning of all truth and untruth of the true nature of divine self.
when it comes to any divien self-awareness truth and untruth, it is always purely 100% of God’s divine will for sake of us, for sake of the eternal all
today, i am of the motivational empowerment force of every single HIV+ individual past present future.
one of the most beloved HIV+ individuals i met in life was Regie Rose, aka, Bang Band Ladesh, of not just any drag queen in the LGBT community of Toronto, no, Bang Bang Ladesh was considered the best up until his last breath of life, where i was Regie’s last lover.
Regie had a body exactly like mine, slim, effeminate, in perfect shape. 😉
then the frightful day of another telling me Regie’s condition rapidly deteriating, a few more days and he will be gone, of any last words, i best now, which i did……..and then he was gone.
It was Regie who opened my heart wide to my own inner connected compassion like his own for so many at a dangerous time to be HIV+, when they did not have the life saving meds we do today.
and today, i purely feel how Regie was constantly feeling, so this is a blessed thing for me, and i will always feel the sacredness in being HIV+, as was Regie, as am i, as are all HIV+ individuals past present future
ailments of the body
that can and do affect our emotional well being, when we do not have a wise compassionate discerning mental well being.
i suppose the time has come for me to step up in filling the shoes of Bang Bang Ladesh, of a life journey all this time in attempting to do so, but now i have what i was missing, 100% conviction of the heart’ divine will oneness of Jesus and God’s divine will for eternal all you
bless you all
there is no such thing as totally devoid of love
a remark that falls into what they call ‘all or none thinking and behaving’
indicative of one’s homophobia too
anyway, i have learned to expect it from most any of you supposed heterosexuals who have not lived a homosexual life in the length and extent i have, and i suppose on that note, i don’t purely enjoy being around such individuals as much as i may at times pretend to like i do
i am bisexual though, but the way homophobes are in not knowing they are, is purely dreadful for me of how heartless the disconnect really really is at times.
may my life serve you all WELL
and on this note, i may as well let you know i have decided to stay loyal as my female self in running with a male lover who is not homophobic.
although i suppose we all grow……..eventually
my bisexual side is real, but realistically, i am not willing to stop enjoying my female sexual behavior i have enjoyed being for decades now
so when you are not feeling so homophobic towards me, look me up someday Marco, i will be around, God willing
although you may want to do it sometime in this century………….just sayin
lol
you really should slow down and think before you speak so haphazardly of the LGBT community people, i purely embracing us the way we all embrace one another as family.
all or none thinking and behaving is hollow and shallow disrespecting and feels homophobic to most any of us, expecially the outcast ones who no longer have a family in coming to our LGBT ‘true real’ family ONEness we all constantly are within
Biyatches!
you are more loving with someone else anyway, obviously, so let’s just let it go at that Biyatch.
perhaps if there was some authentic ‘real’ life contact, i would feel more compelled to explore this further, but honesly, this whole blog thing feels short listed for me, as in, i am not on the list at all
i feel this way somedays
and then i get upset inside and think, fuck them, fuck this, i am not the one they are interested in, at all, so why keep spinning my wheels pretending they are.
and when of these limited sorta empty remarks you toss out, well, what you forget in your homobic ways, is who you are talking to biyatches
anyway, have a great life everyone!
i am outta here
i will stop by one a week, or whenever, update with some pics or whatever
i want need think feel the substance of ‘real’ sincere authentic genuine contact, you know, the tender graceful touch of anothers hand to skin?
blah blah blah rant
is someone holding onto my belt in this moment?
no
ok?
thanks Biyatches!
hey, whatever happened to Matt
what a pure sweetheart Matt was
i don’t think i got over that
i doubt i ever will
i don’t feel well in contrived enviroments, and that is what this blog is
when i think about someone like Matt, i think to myself, if i were to meet Matt face to face, i know i would shed a tear
i don’t understand how it is that Matt disappeared like that, considering his pure spirit i came to purely know, wondering what Matt is thinking today
anyone know what happened to Matt?
was he gay bashed?
is he still alive?
that felt falsely wrong, a lie that Matt took off like he did, and yet, if anyone knows the depths of homophobic fear, it is me………from what happened with Troy and his fuckhead family, including the unwise merchant of God Church we all attended, equally contributing to Troy’s suicide
anyway, i need to get on in a life with real life friends and lovers, with whoever comes along, always of God that i am there among whoever, in each passing moment, our oneness family evolving out of the darkness forefather deathful destructive oppressive ignorances that can and does lead to death, destruction and oppression
as is the life of Troy
as is my own life at times
i am enjoying my art life now, purely so
anyway, i always dreaded the homophobic ignorant shit, so fuck that, i won’t support it, and i purely don’t enjoy witnessing what it has done and does to my own life and others
when i needed a hug, where were any of you anyway?
and someone tell me what the fuck happened to Matt?
someone is lying
feel the truth of the games you homophobes play
that hurts your own self and your own children daily
i spent along waiting time for a real friend to appear, to walk thru life with, did i not?
all this time, and i am left feeling what is known as homophobic unworthy, and it has gotten to me now, where i dread it daily, not wanting to bother coming to the blog some days.
take someone like Matt, i mean who would not want Matt as a life long friend?
all of you would
so i ask, why do i feel homophobic unworthy friendship here Biyatches?
or more acturately, who invites who, and who does not invite ‘me’?
i remain as i always was, like Jesus and God to this unwise fucked world, uninvited to their heart mind body spirit and soul
and i am ok with that, as there are many who purely are equally just like me
like Matt was
no one is saying anything, because of their lying ass guilt
well, good thing i am a party crasher Biyatches, or this world would be even more fucked up than it yet is.
anyway, let’s do the boundary thing, you go live your life, your way, and i go live mine, with whoever, sincerely, honestly, purely, authentically, genuine, substance, real, loving hugs and kisses, and as for this empty friendship, we stop by with an occassional word once a century or so.
lol
i have to go
cannot do this any more
i know where i belong, and where i don’t belong, easily so, by how i am made to feel like i belong or not
feels homophobically contrived
likely because it is
bless you all
as for Matt
Matt was purely cruel towards me, falsely hurting himself in the end of abandonment real friend, where i know i was the best friend in life for Matt
suicide i can intellectualize
cruelty i cannot
true of all you Matts OUT there
and when you all see my own children walking with me one day, in that moment you will purely realize your error of ways in approaching ‘me’ Biyatches!
you suck
truly you do
perhaps one day you will all wake up and purely realize you are the same children at play you always were and yet are, in oneness sameness pure loving light as your own pure spirited children
all the self-importance facade
all doing this or that of i am better than you egotisms
what does any of it matter at all? uhm?
i mean who really gives a fuck about anything of what you do if one is not invited to be alongside to enjoy your world?
emptiness
that is what you left me to feel daily
for years
not any more
i won’t allow myself to come near in feeling what this yet is and likely remain as
distant empty homophobia
heterophobia too, where i know i am the better lover than most any of you lameass fuckers
cya Biyatch
the world spends more than one trillion each year on intelligence gathering
+
only 20 billion is needed each year to save 15 million children from starvation
+
brutality of the Romans is what this world yet is, is it not?
heartless nothingness fuckers according to God and the divine children of God you willingly leave behind to suffer and die, a direct result and refection of the illnesses of heart that grips this world
none can escape eternal truth that so many of you turn away from
do you think God loves your wretched ways people?
how can God possibly love this wretched vile unloving evil world that leaves 15 million defenseless children to suffer and die every year, where all of you are the illness of heart cause for these children dying?
think again
with your hearts people
if i despise your vile wretched ways, take my word for it, God despises you too, for it is God who directed me to my divine self away from you worldly illness of heart.
in this moment, a child’s heart will stop beating
because of you and your vile illness of heart
in this moment, another child’s heart will stop beating
what time do you suppose this moment is?
God wants to know if you feel it is time to praise the divine child or time to die
is it not God’s pure hearted divine child who asks your heart this question directly for your own divine self to answer truthfully?
a holy sword of truth is drawn and raised apon this unwise world
a trillion dollars vs 20 billion
what is wrong with you people?
your hearts and minds are the black empty vile nothingness illness of heart spiritual death that is resulting in the death of 15 million children each year
all of you
i do not understand how it is that so many of you people do not see the truth that there is something horribly wrong with you all
your egos foolishly place yourselves as though better than the your outcast brothers and sisters
that is pathetic, to have to belittle a defenseless child in order to make you look and feel as though you are better than they are, when in truth, you are all horribly of the deathful deadly illness of heart that is cause for 15 million defenseless children needlessly dying, directly because of your illness of heart you refuse to acknowledge you all have
how is it possible for so many of you turn away from the truth?
are you not of the ring thru your nose ring masters of deception?
obviously
in this moment, another child’s heart will stop beating
because of you
I Summon all of the angels of God to come forth and purely look apon this wretched vile world of willfulness oppressive death destruction in purely feeling the truth of their constant divine self love, of the holy sword of truth raised high that is not able to fail, where none shall ever be able to become victorious over your blessed true loving compassionate wise oneness hearts as my own
bless you all
do not allow yourselves to deny the oneness truth your divine self constantly yearns to feel, where great is the need for many of you pure hearted angels of God to come forth unshackled and unbound from the unwise world obviously yet gripped by the wretched blinding binding forefather teaching deathful destructive oppressive falsehood vile illnesses of heart
in this moment another child’s heart is beating
because of you
where the fuck are my motherfucking boots?
that fucking jealous Biyatch stole my fucking boots, and i want them back!
NOW!!!!!!!!!!
oh, there they are, found them……….
lol
hmmm……black, i am think black
angst
yes
black leather this year
some blood red feathers
deep purple satin
fierce kick your ass blood soaked boots or fun relaxed running shoes with sissy ass rainbow laces?
let me get back to you on that Biyatches………..
fuck you
a trillion dollars vs 20 billion
clearly this world is evil
and if evil begets evil, then this world will end in fire, will it not?
you all may want to meditatively purely learn how to pray atonement with your divine self in getting your sorry asses out of bed and purely loving one another……..sooner rather than later
all together now
STOP CHILD STARVATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a trillion dollars vs 20 billion
you people are purely truly fucked in the head evil!
and don’t think for a moment God does not know this evil wretched world well
and what of letting people into your countries?
are these people not completely without a home, a car, a dishwasher, clothing, all the things of your economy?
you outcast them as evil for loving the world you live in?
you people are selfish stupid losers, who cannot embrace your loving brothers and sisters in ushering in a most incredible future of massive prosperity this world has not yet seen
why do you outcast your own brothers and sisters?
evil
you are all evil, and evil is your downfall track out up ahead in the current now fuckers!
mmmm, another good rant 😉
oneness assimilation of the divine child of God is the only way out of horrid ignorant forefather past where none of you are able to become victorious over the wise divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of the eternal all you
your own egos falsely blindly lead this world to death in each passing moment
you people are sick murderous heart fuckers!
don’t you people purely see your own evilness?
in this moment another divine child’s heart will begin beating
because of your divine love for one another
Do you believe there are Evil people in the world ?
I do, I helped a girl bring up her two disabled children 20 yrs of my life she was evil, narsasistic too I think thats why she still alone single and lonely ..
what hurts the most is after all that i gave all the sacrifices i made without want for nothing but the gift of love … she is hell bent on destroying me now .. like a dog with a bone ..
even threatened my life two months ago .. i mean a serious threat ..
if i die, so be it but make sure the authorities know
her name is Janet Gaunt
i am already dead
may as well be when there is no authentic contact
and i am not living in the past either
i am the past
what is being alive?
well, last time i checked, dancing, touching, hugging, kissing, fucking, the joy of nakedness is fun for me.
so what fun is this blogging?
dead and boring as fuck
may as well sit in a cemetary than hang around here
boring boring boring boring
fuck
boring as fuck
dead dead dead
time to get back to real life fun
someone real holding my belt and i theirs
someone real laying naked next to me
someone passionate
someone alive
like i was once before
waited long enough for more of the same boring ass shit
thanks, i think i will run with real passionate people now
ignorance = evil
ignorance = nowhere
ignorance = death
ignorance = oppression
ignorance = destruction
ignorance = all you evil people who willingly allow 15 million defenseless children to die
pure fucking horrid evil
i say burn in hell fuckers!
you are the evil death hearts who allow the children to die
go live your glorious wealthy black death life fuckers
fuck off and die
all you government leaders
why are you deliberately allowing these children to die?
i say you all deserve to die for willingly allowing them to die like you all CHOOSE to do
you are far worse than Hitler
all of you
these are defenseless children of children with no education
i will celebrate and dance in the street when your cities burn in holy wretched fire like your hearts obviously are
God asks, “why are you allowing these children to die?”
murderers according to your own law
assholes
i pray you choke to death on your food one day
all the government leaders CHOOSE to let them die
that is a fact
and all you wealth CHOOSE to let them die too
MURDERERS!
truly you are
15 million children a year
there is nothing noble about any of you
puke puke puke and fucking puking blood on your fancy shoes
seriously, look apon yourselves, where i feel all of you like that of Hilter’s regime
truly i do
you are all of the CHOICE in allowing these children to die in each passing moment
you spend trillions on military to kill one another and you CHOOSE to not spend 20 billion to save 15 million children from certain death that you all willing CHOOSE to let die behind the poverty walls YOU CREATE for them to die behind
VILE
MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER
there is nothing to celebrate here people
don’t even get me started on how you all have treated me
truly, it is your loss
i am not looking back
we did not even make the friendship grade Marco
you know, friends who hug one another
nope
fuck you homophobes!
i don’t give a fuck any more what you do or say
had enough of your shit for brains homophobia
i tolerated it, my mistake
now i won’t
so go fuck yourselves
i am glad to be rid of your shit friendship that was not a friendship at all
why do i do that, stick my head into these homophobic fucking places?
all the same fuckhead shit i ditched years ago
burn the hell
you think ill of me, why we did not meet
so go fuck yourselves!
you are all rich ass heartless sick fucking murderers!
CNN runs news on senseless shit, and yet the greatest fucking news story in the world is these 15 million children you all CHOOSE to let die
the holy sword of truth is drawn apon all of you, pointing directly to your ill souls.
i can’t fucking believe the level of gross wealth that exists that leaves 15 million defenseless children to die
if i were God, and i had the chance to save you all from fire, i would let you all burn
YOU are why these children suffer and die each day
all of you
you are the illness of death
you speak of death
you are spiritual death
already dead
anyway, i am sick of your homophobic rich snob ass of death now in all your fine spiritual death gold like the Romans you all yet are
sadly, most of you don’t realize you hurt your own self from come fully in truly knowing some beautiful souls in this world who are of no wealth
including me
i want nothing to do with your death mob mentality people
can’t fucking believe you people are of the DECISION you make in letting these children die
it makes me puke
you all make me puke
anyway, i have nothing more to say
everything i say is a joke to you anyway
so go laugh it up people
go laugh and be proud of how horrid you rich sick fuck people are
puke
death
you are death
you feel this sword of truth?
it is pointed directly at your brain
and it will remain pointed directly at your pathetic brain people, for all eternity
jerks!
all fucking jerks!
YOU LET THESE CHILDREN DIE
YOU ARE ALL DEATHFULL
dead dead dead and oh look, another one fucking dead
a helpless child for fuck sakes
and you all choose to let them die daily
puke puke puke puke
and you wonder why i cannot sit at your table
it’s because i am puking all the time over looking at you sick fucks!
these are your own children’s friends of the future that you are all CHOOSING to let die
there is absolutely no need for these kids to die
all the governments are of the decision making CHOICE in letting them die, while they spend moneys on their death machines
which child is more mature and loving, the ones dying, or the ones killing?
these dying children have constant intuitive hope in their hearts and eyes in looking apon you unloving ones are being loving, even while they lay dying, not knowing that you people are of the decision making choice in letting them die.
why?
God wants to know why you government leaders are currently of the choice in letting them die, and i want to know why too.
i don’t understand why you people are doing this
nor do the dying children understand why you are all so evil unloving
perhaps satan’s netherworld does spiritually control this world?
So aNDY , JUST READ all you frustrations
S o what would make you happy ?
say you had 3 wishes ?
from a Genie.. in a Bottle
what ARE they ?
1.
2.
3. Hard Cock up the Bum
i wish Troy had of safely and happily transitioned thru his coming out process, instead of killing himself in a drunken self-medicated irrational thinking and feeling state he found himself in after irresponsibly drinking 18 bottles of beer, a dangerous depressant called alcohol.
he did not survive
he died from suicide fuckers!
‘partly’ as a result of the illness of heart forefather fuckhead taboo homophobic ignorances, so obviously like your own standoffish homophobic cold motherfucking shit Marco!
i wish everyone would turn away from the illness of heart empty ego falsehoods that lead to their boring ass nowhere land, and turn towards their true real self heart in purely realizing their wealth has no value whatsoever, other than keeping the starving children from needlessly dying in each passing moment, that is the resulting cause directly of your illness of heart generational blind and bound ego falsehood ignorance.
i wish i knew 100% exactly why Jesus willing surrendered his body to the claws of the beast of ignorance that Jesus allowed them to murder, his body, but not ever his pure true spirit.
is it because Jesus knew i would be born one day to discover my own spirit in oneness like his own, in asking Jesus yet alive hanging apon the cross what i already know, that Jesus did what he did so that i would not shed any doubt of the truth of this motherfucked heartless evil fucked up sick world of forefather generational mindless blind horrid ignorance?
is that why Jesus is crying on the cross?
Jesus knew some of us would come to feel the oneness spirit within as his own?
Is that not the mystery of the kingdom of heaven?
is that not the burried treasure within us all?
is that not what will save all these children from illness of heart pain and suffering, death and crying that results from all those who do not know Jesus?
who do not know you?
fuck you
lol
this holy sword is as light as a feather, yet more powerful than any weapon known to mankind.
i am still learning to weild it
i am still learning about my SELF
i love the angst in this song, it gets my fire up inside
what you look for within is coming
what you look for has already come, has it not?
well i guess it’s all about forgiveness
but yer I desire a world without famine
& I believe it is possible to have aworld of equality
& i think we all should get over our difference
&
use our knowledge & wisdom to embrace & GIUDE the future GENERATION
ASSIST them & educate them ( EMPOWER ) them with the nessasary TOOLS to
RESOLVE
& RESTITUTE
THE SOLUTION
PEACE TO ALL
ITS IS SO EASY
LOVE TO ALL
EQUALITY TO ALL
A WORLD OF EQUALITY
A WORLD WITHOUT
FAMINE
A WORLD OF
LOVE
DEVOID OF ILL NESS
NEGATIVE POSITIVE
I LOVE MADONNA
WHo
THE FUCK
IS
ANDY
who cares
egotistically or spiritually?
egotistically, i am nothing
spiritually, i am Jesus
sexually, i am female male
with or without you
physically, i am of the beginning
with or without you
……same thru eternal end
with or without you
mentally, i am of the kingdom of heaven self-love awareness wisdom unfailing descerning protective halo perspective oneness of Jesus devoid of doubt
with or without you
emotionally, i am constant yearning love, devoid of doubt.
with or without you
i want need think feel who i am
with or without you
your fucking mental that’s who you are
ego is an annoying waste of time
what do you purely want to know and ask of ‘me’?
i come forth in the world as one who is wise in revealing unbinding truth of untruth that frees the divine child of God brothers and sisters from the vile horrid wretched deathful destructive oppressive forefather binding useless falsehood ignorances of those who did and do not know God, just as they do not purely know their own divine self in all they say and do.
none of you shall become victorious over the true nature of the divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul, where only an unwise fool foolishly thinks they are able to defeat God’s eternal oneness truth
where does your vile falsehood ego lead to?
death, destruction and oppression of your brothers and sisters, does it not?
none of you shall be able to withstand the divine child of God’s true nature.
none shall escape
even while you may unwisely think you can, you cannot.
do you ‘think’ and ‘feel’ i come to bring harm to the heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all you?
do you know ‘me’?
do you want to purely and truly know ‘me’?
who humiliates who?
is it not the forefather falsehood binding blinding unwise vile egos that lead to death destruction and oppression of your divine self that humiliates you before the divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul?
is it not your own divine self that constantly yearns to always be the true nature you have meditatively come to wisely descerningly know?
do you think there are many who purely truly know their divine true nature as the greatest treasure one shall ever find?
do you think i am able to turn away from your divine self oneness as my own?
so why do you unwisely seek to cajole, entice and ridicule ‘me’?
are you embarrassed to be your divine true nature more so than vile deathful destructive oppressive forefather falsehood egos that harms your brothers and sisters like it harmed Troy, like it harms ‘me’, like it harms you, does it not?
do you think you bring harm to ‘me’?
to my pure spirit?
do you think you can ever defeat the eternal truth of ‘me’?
what do you purely want to know and ask of ‘me’ besides the eternal friendship i have extend to you and extend to you?
am i able to turn away from your pure loving divine self as my own?
are you able to turn away from ‘me’?
so when are we going to fuck?
lol
mmmmmmmm………biking in the early mornings is blessed
did you see the moon and the stars just after sunset the last few days?
isn’t that a blessed feeling?
where you thinking of me like i was of you?
that is how i always felt for you and constantly yearn to always purely feel for you
i am weary of the retorical tiresome ego nothingness
ya i know, i do it too………been an emotional ride wisely turning to atonement coming forth spiritual artistic self i love so much now…….best place i have ever been in life so far, and i feel blessed knowing this is how the remainder of my life will play OUT.
bless you
Biyatch!
oh, you know i always love you, and perhaps that part of me that constantly yearns to be with you and cannot is frustration, knowing how you wisely value and prioritize your true nature as the greatest treasure mankind shall ever find, more so than most any i have ever met and likely to meet, and yet, is not the divine true nature of everyone, past present future?
is that not what wisely Jesus turns us towards in his every heartbeat, the revealing truth of all untruth?
Jesus does ‘me’!
ok, that may not sound right……..i wish Jesus would do ‘me’!
ah, that’s better!!
LOL
for those who question the truth of the true nature of our brothers and sisters, as regards holy joyful absolute carefree happiness, is it not the truth purely obvious to all of you we of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender community are truly and purely of their divine true nature holy joyful absolute carefree happiness?
truly i tell you, i am happiest in being my female and male sexual behavior
and anyone who questions it, needs to question the truth they avoid about coming fully into knowing their own female and male sexual behavior within everyone’s brain, of primal innate beginning thru eternal end, why males have nipples that develop before their sex is determined, early in the womb.
Biyatches!
deathful destructive oppressive taboo forefather ignorances is what unwisely yet grips the world, no different than what Jesus witnessed daily, no different than what God witnesses daily, no different than what we all witness daily…….
…….eternal truth of all untruth
you can kill ‘me’,
and you kill me
you can destroy ‘me’,
and you destoy me
you can oppress ‘me’
and you oppress me
but none shall ever become victorious over the truth of ‘me’, even unto falsehood death, destruction and oppression of ‘me’, i remain eternally victorious in wise loving compassionate revealing truth of all falsehood untruth hateful apathetic ignorance.
till my last blessed breath, my last blessed heartbeat, my last blessed step, my last blessed word of Jesus, who i know constantly knows and loves me like none of you have or yet do…….although there is this one guy i am optimistic about, i think meantioned him once or twice, yes? 😉
you know who you R
oh for fuck sakes, just do ‘me’ WILL you?!
forever more
yes, we are all physical mental emotional sexual spiritual
you want to play a game marco?
you want to entice cajole and mock a divine child of God some more?
who do you think will win?
who’s side do you think and feel Jesus and God are on?
i know Jesus and God are on my side, always have
did i tell you how it is that God speaks with me?
have not spoke of it, fearing you all would all laugh and ridicule me as a crazy mental nut case, but ya, God speaks directly with me, not in a voice i hear, no, in a real presence oneness feeling with me directly of words i know are meant for me as one who came forth away from the unwise snared world, alone, and God greeted me directly.
i know how it is that Jesus too came to speak with God and God with Jesus, the same way God speaks with me.
i am no longer afraid of any of you, fuck it, may as well let the world know, God speaks with me, and i have purely known of God’s presence with me since i was a small child unable to speak, in what is the intuitive divine self i turn towards and constantly am.
bless you all
say whatever you want
annoyingly have heard it all before
i am standing my ground now from this day forward as my female male self which none of you can become victorious over my divine nature
oh sure, egotistically you all can think and feel your ridiculing of ‘me’, but do you purely truly know ‘me’ when you think and feel you ridicule ‘me’?
you unwisely apathetically unlovingly mock only your own divine self
i walk calmly, gracefully, purely, blessedly, lovingly, wisely, compassionately among all our blessed brothers and sisters who do purely truly know ‘me’, awakening, nurturing and protecting of their divine true nature like my own.
how can one nurture, awaken and protect the divine true nature of another, until such a time as they purely truly know the true nature of their own divine self?
you have a dark side to you marco
i think we all do
it is our younger immature self of abreaction tendancies, that’s all, annoying falsity more than anything, a waste of precious time
so why do we choose to allow our falsehoods to continue to exist, in being against your true nature?
do you want to fit into the unwise alseep in ignorance world?
do you love the falsehood world so deathful destructive and oppressive of your true brothers and sisters?
say what you want of ‘me’
you can bring harm to ‘me’ no longer
Jesus says, “where all false unloving untruthfulness is, you will not find ‘me’.”
you will not find your divine self true nature
i belong with Jesus and God, and the brothers and sisters of their true nature like my own that i return to
so go ahead, so whatever mockery you want, and in the end, who hurts who?
you hurt only your own divine self
God asks me to come away from those of unwise tiresome falsehood ridicule
the cup of unwise falsehood bitterness they offer me to drink from as you yet do
i gave it back to you to drink from so that you would feel how it feels
what did you learn from that?
i am not going to continue with you in your mockery of Jesus and God
fair warning
i am turning towards the pure peace, grace, love and happiness of my true brothers and sisters of the worldwide LGBT community
so either join us or don’t
you will all purely feel our eternal divine true nature holy joyful absolure carefree happiness light shine brightly into every conrner of this dark deathful destructive oppressive world, awakening, nurturing and protecting your divine true real self we have all come to know as the truth of eternal all you
bless you all
all untruth falsehood constantly serves the wise loving compassionate awake decerning divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul at all times.
as wise compassionate loving revealers truth of all untruth
‘that’ is who my true brothers and sisters constantly r within
beware of your own snared falsehood denial asleep in ignorance that we are wisely awake about in how so many of you yet are, sadly
enjoy the blessed day
you only have so many left to enjoy, one less than you had yesterday
blessed blessed blessed blessed
holy holy holy holy
truth
none shall be able to come between ‘me’, Jesus, Mary and God
it is not possible
i purely know this within, and have for along time that my pure spirit belongs with the nurturing, awakening and protection of Jesus, Mary and God
so go for it Biyatches, say whatever you want of ‘me’, and in the end, i will say the same thing, “You do not purely truly know ‘me’, nor do you desire to purely truly know ‘me’, as evident you do not purely truly know your own divine self true nature, in oneness of my own, in oneness of Jesus, in oneness of Mary, in oneness of God, in oneness of all the angels of God, of eternal past present future, of beginning thru eternal all you
forever more
bless you all with constant peace grace love happiness true nature of your divine self that God knows, just as i know eternal all you
bless you bless you bless you bless you
holy holy holy holy
what are you upset about Marco?
come, let us speak once again about what may be troubling your pure spirit like my own.
no more denial, no more avoidance, no more annoying unresolved toxic issues
we need want think feel towards closure
friends we are eternally
lovers?
i don’t know
maybe not
what defines a lover
not at this moment
do you have my dick in your hand?
then i am not your lover in this moment, am i?
now, do you want my dick in your hand, well, that is indicative that we want to be lovers, an open door…….
ok, fine, i leave the door open, but just don’t expect me to be alone waiting for you all this time, ok?
you lameass denail Biyatch!
oh, it is harmful to your divine self to ridicule a divine child of God who serves God
i will not come around any more, if you want to be childish in attacking Jesus, Mary, ‘me’ and God like that
it annoys me
cannot hurt me
just annoys me
a waste of blessed precious time
anyway, i am returning to my studio where sacred spiritual art is coming forth into the world daily.
it is a most blessed time in my life right now to see all these sacred art pieces appearing that will last for tens of thousands of years into the future, all preserved in hard clear plastic polyester resin, that will make their way into the world soon, thru the internet and local art shops.
take a look around, and see how much LGBT art you see today, if any.
purely, i am the heart mind body spirit and soul of my worldwide LGBT brothers and sisters daily, in each passing moment, where i purely am and belong, where we all do, in Just BE yOUR SELF!
blessings to you all
Celebrate your true nature grace!
i ask, who is more often their graceful true nature, a wealthy person or a poor person?
is it not the poor person who is more often their graceful true nature more often than not, than that of the seemingly insane hyped up ego driven stressed out falsehood wealthy person?
is it not the poor person who is spiritually wealthier in their natural occuring undistracted divine true nature than the annoyingly ego selfish bitter rich person?
is it not the poor person who is of their natural occuring holy joyful absolute carefree inner happiness, than it is the false acting rich person?
is it not the poor person who is spiritually healthier than the rich person?
is it not the poor person who is spiritually wiser than the rich person?
is it not among the poor that your divine self would rather be found?
where am i easily found Marco?
you owe me fucking dinner Biyatch!
lol
beware of your emptiness mocking ridiculing spitting foolishly apon the face of Jesus, Mary and God in coming before the cross as your divine self.
you bring harm to your divine self in doing so
bitter gnashing of teeth outside the kingdom of heaven, like so many
is that what you are Marco?
i esteemed you as one of divine self wisdom
am i wrong?
i pray you divine self wisdom one last time, lest your divine self haphazardly trip and fall into the path of death destruction oppression like so many of you unwise ones do, unknowingly, dying stupidly, like those snared by alcoholism and drug abuse.
it is your divine self Jesus, Mary and God constantly purely truly know
come before them alone, for they constantly love and know your divine self
do not hesitate to come before them daily, for their pure oneness spirit like your own spirit is always there
do this daily without fail
for there is nothing more sacred in your life than coming fully into knowing your loving divine true nature self.
bless you always
and that goes double for all you anal retentive fucks out there Biyatches!
LOL
ok fine, watch from the side lines, see if i care Biyatches!
as i said, unless you are passionately holding onto my motherfucking belt, well, you are not in the zone with me in oneness passion as my own, so either step up, or step off Biyatches!
you are so annoying Marco!
hey, tell me, do you know how healthy a daily total body orgasm is Marco?
do you know how it fucking amazing it feels to build up to one for four hours of sex?
then step off Biyatch!
stop annoying me with your tranny ass wannabe anal retentive bullshit, ok?
LOL
[andy looks down and finishes tying one of his is rainbow lace red Converse running shoes that keeps coming loose, stands up, looks deep into Marco’s eyes with a holy sword of truth knowingness way, and gracefully turns and walks away in the beautiful sunshine, as some skinny perfect bubble ass long slim tall slender effeminate handed, tight ass white jeans and sparkle leopard belt, big dick bulge excitement of a coming out boy toy eyes, running up to Andyy with pure vibrance of eternal lover arms flowing with forever feeling joyful vibe energy, expressing, “Andyy! Where are you going?”
“Where ever you want Biyatch, as long as my dick eventually finds your tight loving fuckable ass!!
“YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know, i have not been fucked with a nice cock like yours in over six fucking months! I am going out of my fucking anal retentive tranny mind! ARGH! I am so happy to have caught up with you again! I love you Andyy, you know i always have and do!”
Andy, ” i know”
LOL
la la la la
lala la la la la
stop wasting my time Biyatches!
Jesus spiritually decapitated your ego marco
enough of this mascarade lying ass homophobic stuckness
better places to be Biyatches
as in healthily BETTER
brothers and sisters need ‘me’
every second is sacred
did you know that?
so why do this any more
is it not wasting sacred time?
i mean aside from helping your anal retentive ass
you are not changing
still the same distanct person as always, which you likely always will be with me, till i walk away, and you wonder why
it’s boring as fuck for me now, ok?
people need ‘me’
and this really is boring spinning of wheels stuckness
and let’s not forget who stood who up for dinner showing up with someone else Biyatch!
it’s a wonder i bothered to talk with you after that fucking mind fuck
forgive and forget it Biyatch!
you are not coming
and i am no longer waiting for you
although the door is open
so knock first, as i am usually not alone 😉
words like, ‘your fucking mental that’s who you are’
are mentally abusive in my desire to set boundaries with you, professionally speaking.
ya, i am mental
physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual too
a child whispers, “Who is Madonna?”
as the child takes their last breath…….
who cares?
do you think the child dying is concerned about who any of us are?
it is the true nature of the divine child dying who has more faith in the true nature of the divine self you, than any of you are of the true nature of the divine child dying.
and you say to me, ‘your fucking mental that’s who you are.”
ok fine
goodbye
i don’t feel i will likely be missing your mental tyranny abuse any time soon, nor will the dying divine children who are dead
because of you
Jesus, Mary, God and ‘me’ purely truly despise your unknowingly bound in captivity spiritual death ego ignorant deathful destructive oppressive forefather falsehoods that so many of you continue to unwisely perpetuate forward into the eternal future, of invisible horrific vile walls of poverty that leave 15 million defenseless children to die behind each year.
ya sure, some of you lend a hand here and there, scantly so, considering the amount of your gross wealth, yuk, not allowing your divine self true nature eternal spirited oneness to come fully into the eternal day light divine self awareness awakening nurturing protecting summoning of God to do so
while you turn your backs on a child taking their last breath, in each passing moment of each blessed day
and then there are you of the arrogance to spit apon the wise divine self wisdom revealing truth of untruth words of Jesus?
do you think God is able to forgive such behavior?
is such generational learned behavior forgiveable, given the gravity of a defenseless child in need of your love, who is dying in this moment as a direct result of so many of you turning away in avoidance of divine self holy sacred wisdom i speak of?
i don’t feel that you purely truly get what i am saying yet….
…what the kingdom of heaven constantly is
in each passing moment
ya, you may feel the constant presence of the kingdom of heaven constantly is, but you do not 100% prioritize and 100% value what the kingdom of heaven constantly is, beyond all your foolish illness of heart wealth, foolishly holding onto that which has no value whatsoever, thinking it does, do you not?
if one of these divine children who are about to die in this moment was your own divine child, what would you do?
you would do everything in your power to keep them alive, would you not?
is that not what this world needs, an enlightened divine self leader who purely truly 100% constantly is the one who is of the power to keep these 15 million divine children of God alive?
so long as you do not come 100% fully into the eternal day divine self wisdom light kingdom of heaven, of even 1% doubt, you will not enter into the kingdom of heaven, and these divine children of God will continue to die, with increasing numbers well into the future, of a population that is anticipated to double in the next fifty years.
the future will be ‘that’ which is of the current past, WILL it not?
i don’t know, i mean i see some of you wealthy ones, with your scant assistance here and there, a rose in your flower arrangement to appease yourselves before one another as being ok in the eyes of one another, patting yourselfs proudly on your backs, as you return to the illness of heart worldly who are the creators and perpetuators of the walls of poverty, thinking you need your wealth, when so desperately others need your love, in what is the only value of your wealth, is it not?
don’t you feel it is time to have 100% faith in your divine child of God self oneness with these defenseless kids who purely are the constant love devoid of doubt kingdom of heaven found?
what do you need your wealth for?
you need to buy a sandwich to eat?
i will buy you a sandwich to eat, ok?
do you need a pen and paper to write more songs on?
you can borrow mine
do you need a place to sleep out of the rain and cold?
you can stay with ‘me’
do you need a shower?
you can shower with ‘me’
i won’t mind
honest!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol
anyway, as i said before, you will not ‘get me’ until you denounce the vulgar illness of heart gross materialistic ego falsehood of the wealthy.
is that what you want to teach your own children, that is ok to let 15 million defenseless children die each year, that you know is a direct result of your unloving hearts?
don’t you ‘get me’?
don’t you ‘get’ what the kingdom of heaven constantly is?
you do not need me to enter the kingdom of heaven, albeit, you need ‘me’
and Jesus Mary and God eternal oneness love devoid of doubt kingdom of heaven constant divine self awareness halo wisdom nurturing awakening protective perspective of the beginning sameness thru eternal all you end
where the beginning is, there 2 is the end, the divine self doorway into eternal day divine self awareness wisdom light that does not set.
you cast your divine self out of heaven with me in all your annoying useless bitter gnashing of teeth cup of bitterness you offer me to drink from
thanks, but no thanks, been kicked in the head plenty of times by ignoramous jerk off others of my long spiritual life journey towards my divine self awareness kingdom of heaven wisdom perspective.
Jesus is wisely truthful in saying, “Worry not of what you hear from unknowingly asleep in forefather dark captivity ignorant others outside the kingdom of heaven divine self wisdom halo perspective who lead their divine self away from kingdom of heaven constant awareness like your own, rather worry that their poison does not enter into you and becomes you, of what you undescerningly say and do, the you of their oneness lacking descerning haphazardly plodding along aimlessly without a wise helmsman unwise children of God hideous jackals they obviously are becoming of, in what they turn towards, in what they want you to turn towards to justify their jackal selves, do they not?
who casts who out of the kingdom of heaven?
is it not the falsehood ego who casts out their own divine self?
what you turn towards you become, at all times
where your heart is, there too is your treasure, at all times ~ Jesus
i do not need or want any of your gross material ego falsehood high society illness of heart deathful destructive oppressive wealth, and i WILL not be found among you.
i need and want only divine self pure true love, do i not?
what the kingdom of heaven constantly is
i am
what Jesus asks ‘me’ to constantly BE
in eternally free spirited CONSTANT ONENESS kingdom of heaven love devoid of doubt that CONSTANTLY is of Jesus, Mary, God and all eternal divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul, unbound and set free forever more from the deathful destructive oppressive forefather dark captivity drowning mad flood ignoramous falsehoods of my true loving brothers and sisters.
forever more
bless you all
as for your mental tyranny remark, ask God for forgiveness
childish immature words of an unwise child of God
and if that is how you truly feel about me, then at least now i know where i stand
more importantly, where you choose to stand
outside the kingdom of heaven
without Jesus, Mary and God
go ask them for forgiveness in what i know is not forgivable, considering the gravity of the future unfolding
if i saw you on the street, i would walk on past you and keep walking, as i don’t trust you any more, and i have no desire to trust you again
so rant on about whatever
i deserve and desire authentic genuinely healthier friends, who i now turn towards, of Jesus asking me to cast the cup of bitterness from ‘me’
i can’t believe you said that
is that what you truly think of me?
i suppose after all this time of a fucked up mascarade nothingness nowhere stuckness we yet are, indicative of truth, that perhaps you really do think this of me………
well, i pray death to your unwise falsehood evil jackal ego that casts only you out of the kingdom of heaven
and yes, Jesus says, “Death to all falsehood ego”
humiliating revealing light truth of untruth death
of eternal divine self awareness light no one shall be able to withstand
fuck, i can’t believe you would say such a fuckhead thing like that
like eat shit, fuck off and die with that one Biyatches!
i won’t be opening my door to you any time soon.
and in truth, if you ever want me to speak with you again, you can do it in person.
as for the art collection, you can find it in the kingdom of heaven like everyone else does
this blogging friendship is officially over of my choice to no longer participate
because Jesus asks me not to
nope
that’s it
no more
cya
whoever you are
i don’t know you
actually, i do know who you are
an LGBT gay basher
i am who i am, a bisexual transgender of versatile female and male sexual behavior
i am not who you want me to be…….conveniently one or the other.
so take your toxic mind fuck shit and fuck off, ok?
obviously you are still fucking someone else
so step off and fuck off!
thanks
why is that?
when people are fucking someone, supposedly all fucking happy and such, they go around treating everyone like fucking shit, whenever they feel the urge to do so, like these tyrant fucking assholes, even with their best friends? uhm?
and then when they wake up and realize they don’t really love whatever dick they are fucking at the time, the ones who were their best possible friends to have, have ditched their fuckhead jerkoff arrogant fucking lives for treating them as nothing, only to wake up an realize, oh, i guess i really was a FUCKING ASSHOLE towards my best friends.
ya, you are fucking asshole for saying that
no more trust here for you Biyatch!
like why fucking say that anyway?
oh, i get it………you really do think that of me, don’t you?
ya well, we will see who invites who to come around
it will not be me inviting you
although Jesus, Mary and God might
i won’t
nope
i am not your mental emotional punching bag
forget that shit
done it way to many times with fuckhead others
jerk
yep, you have to go thru Jesus, Mary and God now to get into the kingdom of heaven constant love devoid of doubt with ‘me’.
good luck with that, ok?
truly
you will need it
the sensitive homoerotic original sculptures and art will be submitted to a LGBT History Museum, where it belongs.
what, too arrogant to apologize for the gay bashing?
how do you suppose members of the worldwide LGBT community feel about your gay bashing? uhm?
and why should i ever trust you again? uhm?
admit it, you enjoy your arrogant mind fucking other people, and yes, you are a gay basher
obviously
without you
you have God to deal with now, where you clearly do not respect my divine self wisdom gift, given to me by God
forgiveness is about slow humble surrendering into the true nature of our divine true real self atonement knowingness letting go process of our generational learned and taught shortsighted ignoramous smallnesses that lead to death destruction and oppression of our own divine self and potentially the divine self of others who may not be of God’s eternal protective wisdom.
i ask, what harm do you suppose your gay bashing words are for a young homosexual alone who is dealing with their emotionally intense coming out process, who may be on the edge in yet believing they are evil according to their false believe system taught to them by the church that i fight againt?
they purely sense their oneness with me, and you come along and gay bash me in painting me as some mentally fucked crazy person
and what if that person kills themself?
you spoke against God
and now you have to answer to God, where i no longer want anything to do with you ever again.
GAY BASHING IS A CRIME
and is unforgivable by God
of all you jerkoff fuckhead cyber bullies out there who seek to harm my true loving brothers and sisters here in the kingdom of heaven.
you cast yourself out of heaven, not me, not Jesus, not Mary, not God
you do it
unwisely led away by generational binding ignorance captivity snaring, like i have been saying all along.
you owe me, and every member of the worldwide Lesbian Gay Bisexual Trangender community an apology
GAY BASHING IS A CRIME in Canada
perhaps i should seek a lawyer in pressing criminal charges for your cyber bullying, as a way to curb your need to gay bash us, a matter of principle and concern for all LGBT members, family and those who love us
you gay bashed me in front of the entire world
it is not forgiveable
it is you, your friends, and your own children, who will continue to suffer the consequences of your mental abuse……let me get back to you on that.
alternatively, you could apologize
not that it will help me to ever trust you again
but perhaps to avoid potential criminal charges
i am going to look into it
falsity malice slighting of someone as being crazy, which clearly was your intent here in front of others, is immature and wrong.
i will not forgive you without an apology
nor should anyone
you got that miss gay basher?
have a good life
without me
i should sue you miss gay basher!
~
thanks Rosie
DEFAMATION
~ Defamation—also called calumny, vilification, slander (for transitory statements), and libel (for written, broadcast, or otherwise published words)—is the communication of a statement that makes a claim, expressly stated or implied to be factual, that may give an individual, business, product, group, government, or nation a negative image. It is usually, but not always,[1] a requirement that this claim be false and that the publication is communicated to someone other than the person defamed (the claimant).
In common law jurisdictions, slander refers to a malicious, false and defamatory spoken statement or report, while libel refers to any other form of communication such as written words or images. Most jurisdictions allow legal actions, civil and/or criminal, to deter various kinds of defamation and retaliate against groundless criticism. Related to defamation is public disclosure of private facts, which arises where one person reveals information that is not of public concern, and the release of which would offend a reasonable person. “Unlike [with] libel, truth is not a defense for invasion of privacy.”[2]
False light laws are “intended primarily to protect the plaintiff’s mental or emotional well-being.”[3] If a publication of information is false, then a tort of defamation might have occurred. If that communication is not technically false but is still misleading, then a tort of false light might have occurred.[3]
In most civil law jurisdictions, defamation is dealt with as a crime rather than a tort.[4]
A person who destroys another’s reputation may be referred to as a famacide, defamer, or slanderer. The Latin phrase famosus libellus means a libelous writing.
~
you got that miss criminal gay basher?
what you did is not forgiveable
while it may reflect your opinion, clearly your intent was falsity malice DEFAMATION here, on a public blog, of none other than Madonna’s blog of all the worse possible places you could gay bash us!
you are a gay basher Marco, whoever you are
oh yeah, you have no blog, no public forum for us to see who you are, in your stealthy cyber bullying, thinking it is ok to gay bash us like you, hide away where no one can find you, or so you think.
did you know all data transmitted has a permanent digital signature footprint, specific to the computer it is transmitted from?
cya in court miss criminal gay basher, in God’s court
GAY BASHING IS A CRIME
ah, what’s wrong, those handcuffs too tight Biyatch?
you will get used to them eventually
don’t ever think gay bashing is ok with me Biyatches!
you cannot not just cyber bully us like that whenever you feel like it
GAY BASHING IS A CRIME
i charge you with gay bashing DEFAMATION Biyatch!
the truth
ah, so sad, i am in the kingdom of heaven, and you are in jail for criminal activity
pray no gay youth kills themselves over your cowardice gay bashing defamation
oh, im sorry, you need a soul to do that, my mistake for thinking you had one
why do i do that, go around thinking all these people have a special soul, when in obvious truth, many are these empty unattended unwise plodding along aimless dangerous souls they allow evil spirited jackals to take refuge in?
i need to stop doing that, esteem others as being better than they actually are in outward appearance.
and you think i am over reacting, think again, you are a gay bashing dematation falsity malice criminal who is of wreckless inconsideration of others and the law that protects them.
that is what you are
GAY BASHING IS A CRIME
goodfucking bye
thanks MUSE!
you need to apologize to the world now Biyatch!
and if you think you can continue your cyber bullying gay bashing criminal defamation
i WILL drag you into a court of God’s law, just as i have [drag]ged you before the world for all to discerningly see and feel the illness of heart truth of your gay bashing defamation
that is not a threat, that is a promise
oh come on, say some more defamation cyber bullying, so i can take you to court, i always wanted to meet you, ya know?
lol
fuck off
if you do not apologize to the world for your HORRID gay bashing defamation remarks, something horrid may come your way to teach you of your evil ways miss gay bashing defamation bad karma, so for your own sake, you may want to apologize to the world for your criminal gay bashing defamation cyber bullying activity, sooner rather than later.
you fucking owe the entire LGBT world an apology!
or wait for the lawyers to appear, your choice
oh look, God’s greatest lawyer of all has appeared
thank you Jesus
thank you for Jesus God
thank you Jesus, thank you Mary, for BEing loving oneness with Jesus, God and me
bless bless bless bless you all
forever more
ok fine, stay in jail, for the rest of your life, eternally if you want, where you shall remain as the criminal you are, if you do not fully repent and apologize to the LGBT community for your INTENTIONAL falsity malice ill refute gay bashing cyber bullying attempt, so help me God.
no one escapes eternal truth
only a fool thinks they can
go before God and repent for your blatant illness of heart disrespecting inconsideration of our gay youth and me, a twenty year transgender veteran of the worldwide community
i am NOT going to let you get away with bashing me like that
no fucking way!
apologize to the LGBT community
you OWE them ALL an apology
why is that, you know, parents go around being these evil fucking parents with their own kids regarding homosexuality, and then when the child kills themselves as a direct result of making the child believe they are evil sinners for being homosexuals, only then do they full wake up to the pure constant truthful HIGH RISK seriousness of the homosexual coming out process of their blessed children?
forefather generational falsehood ignoramous wretched teachings handed down thru mellenia from those who did and do not know God, just as they do not know and love their own divine self, their own divine children, in all they say and do
every
mother
fucked
day!
if you do not apologize today, i will regard you as inconsiderate and untrustworthy, in likeness of these unwise parents you are supporting in thinking it is ok to gay bash a twenty year veteran of the worldwide LGBT community.
you owe it to the LGBT community
you owe it to your own self and your children
you owe it to all those who love all of us of the LGBT worldwide community
you owe it to me
and you owe it to Jesus, Mary, and God who are of our constant oneness unfailing undying eternal kingdom of heaven love devoid of doubt.
apologize today, and i may forgive you one day
Sorry Andy, didn’t mean you to take it so personally
not gay bashing you
Just fleeting comment, infact it was a compliment
depending on interpretation, be it negative or positive
in your case negative
apology ACCEPTED
thank you
no worries, i am mentally healthy in interpersonal manifestation behavioral understanding, beyond the grasp of limited understanding of most, after decades of study, as ‘you know’, since i sent you those books to read way back when, where what is healthy specific to you and i, is our healthy fearless friendship we have cultivated within and with each other of late, in allowing our vulnerable true real self out to fearlessly express our ’emotional’ state whenever we want, without recriminations……..interpretation as you say…….
however……..
a young gay youth yet of cultivating their own belief system, in happening apon this blog, may interpret us differently
personally, i applaud your fearless growth expressing of true real self of late, knowing our abreaction manifestations of potential underlying unresolved issues that you and i may or may not have addressed, as we move forward with one another……..read frustration as you say.
it is sad for me to not be in a place as yet to give birth to my own children, as you may well imagine, something i have suspected you know i have been approaching within for a number of years now, as yourself who may know the blessed joy of your own children around you each blessed day, what heaven constantly, of holy joyful absolute carefree happiness set free of the divine children of any of you, laughing all the time like they do, 400 hundred times a day according to case study, of only an average 10 times a day for us adults, a result of our burnout careers, and unaddressing of our mental emotional wants and needs, as you know well.
there is no greater issue in my life right now, than the issue of giving birth to my own children, of tears the flow uncontrollably whenever i approach the issue within
people don’t know the inner struggle of homosexuals in addressing what i feel is a primal beginning innately ingrain issue of our natural occuring procreation primal brain thinking and feeling.
in truth, i feel all homosexuals are of suppression these deep core thoughts and feelings to one extent or another, where i feel most are completely suppressive of the unaddressed issue, sadly
it is the forthmost issue of my homosexual activism of late that has remained seemingly entirely suppressed in most any conversation gatherings i have been of over my twenty years in living exclusively a homosexual life, of rare occurances of the issue being brought up by others, and of manifesting fear avoidance behavioral i see in others when i raise the issue in conversation, indicative of just how deeply our suppression of the deep core issue is in society, leaving me feeling compelled to probe into exactly why this is, aside from the obvious homophobia projection transference intrinsic/extrinsic resulting forces that are of the bulk of the unaccepting heterosexual world, that i estimate to be of 70-100% oppression, depending on where you live, as many homosexuals of say the Arabic speaking world know first hand each day, themselves in constant fear of being lynch mob killed one day like they do, of my first hand interpersonal conversation experiences with those of the Arabic speaking parts of the world, where raising our own children is not the forthmost concern for them as it is for me, as one who lives in the most homosexually accepting parts of the world, Canada, of our laws today that we have fought for and continue to fight for, as leaders ahead of the rest of the world yet growing out of the taboo ignoramous teachings of the forefathers, so evident thruout the world, handed down thru mellenia.
i take enormous pride as a Canadian, in our evolving wisdom vs ignorance campaigning march forward, in what is yet of the deathful, destructive, oppressive generational teaching ignorances yet thruout the world, that is yet leading so many unwise unattended divine children of God into death, destruction and oppression in each passing moment of each blessed day we all wake to.
having lost my first boyfriend and love of my life, Troy William Bateman to the deathful destructive oppressive extrinsic resulting intrinsic cultivation homophobic taboo ignorances, purely woke me up 100% in teaching me my atonement wisdom divine self awareness oneness of the divine self wisdom of Jesus, where i am without doubt of how Jesus was thinking and feeling in his own journey of spiritual divine self awareness evolving while walking among us 2000 years ago, indeed, oneness sameness flawless healing thinking and feeling as that of Jesus, my closest spiritual guide in life for along time, of scope yet beyond my own as we speak, albeit, i truly am fully aware of just how far i have evolved OUT of this unwise deathful destructive oppressive world.
i do believe there are understandings we do not know about that may or may not exist as regards an invisible spirit realm
i have had too many numerous occurances in my study of the possible existence of a spirit realm beyond our current understanding in human history, which are 100% indicative of the existence of a spirit realm, that i feel is in the same realm of our lacking understanding of just what is this physical realm universe of existence we all enter into EXACTLY the same way.
the fact that every single one of us do enter EXACTLY the same way into this realm of existence, past present future, for me is the single biggest seemingly obliviously overlooked pure 100% exact same ONEness we all eternally constantly are, where not only are we the same as one another currently alive today, indeed, we are all 100% EXACTLY the same divine child of whatever life force entity in the universe that may exist, of the entire past present future, indicative of the truth in words like Jesus who speaks of ‘Eternal Day Light’ divine self awareness understanding that spans eternally, where our beginning is always exactly the same thru eternal (end).
indeed, this is the single most important atonement as regards safe passage into the eternal future of mankind, is it not?
look apon how much death, destruction and oppression the forefathers were of and we who become the forefather ignorances today of all death, destruction and oppression of one another in each passing moment.
when Troy died from his divine self inflicted suicide injuries in 1993, three days before Christmas, i was completely devasted by it, to the core of my being, where i collasped in a full mental emotional break apon my knees crying like that of my memories when i was a small child of four or five years old(my first boyfriend was Mark, at age four, his parents who moved away, in telling us of the day that was our last day to be with one another playing, of the parents who had to pry us apart, both of us crying in holding onto one another, screaming no no no!). Again, the exact same feeling overwhelmed me again when i permanently lost Troy.
without doubt, the tragic life of Troy is a blessing for this world, in what has been my motivated empowered activism the past twenty years, directly linked to the deep core love devoid of doubt new pure awareness i woke to each day since, and that is how i feel my life is constantly 100% blessed sacredness at all times, indeed, why when another ruffles my feathers even slightly, i react almost instantly in an mental break abreaction lashing out at them and others, of so many who have witnessed and yet witness over since 1993.
moving to the LGBT community of Toronto, of a one way bus ticket, was the most important decision of my life to make, and just how it is that i quit my job, quit my life, quit my family and friends, packed a bag, with no address to go to in Toronto one weeked, of no concern at all in buying a one way bus ticket like i did, i don’t know, i mean how did i manage to do that successfully like i fearlessly did like i did?
looking back, i think to myself, my God, how did i do that so fearlessly, so full of pure angst kinda warrior mentality like i did?
prior to the move, i had been travelling back and forth to the gay community for a period of about six months or more, and i felt the brotherhood bonding so purely of others in oneness within as my own, so obviously it was those who had come before me, who are the ones who empowered and motivated the self-confidence i so desperately hung onto, of occassion suicidal(copy cat suicide mostly) feelings for a number of years during my ongoing coming out process with the gay brothers and lesbian sisters i needed, who needed me, of us all realizing we constantly all needed each other, a pure bond, again, of what i feel is the pure flawless blessed oneness sameness feelings Jesus constantly was of with others, as we all yet are.
do you know how difficult it is to hold onto the oneness love divine self understanding i have for Jesus, all the while of most any religious organizations ostrazing us all this time
today in Canada, no religious group is legally allowed to speak against homosexuals as sinners
it is a DEFAMATION CRIMINAL ACT to publicly speak out against homosexuals in Canada, indeed, something i and others campaigned for in changing the laws of Canada and the world, all of us of the worldwide LGBT community who without fail, without doubt whatsoever, WILL march forward into the eternal future……….make no mistake fuckers, we are coming to every corner of the earth, and you all will feel our fearless marching eternal day light presence for all eternity.
i purely constantly always know ‘that’ because……..
…..i purely constantly always AM ‘that’
thank you for the wise embracing apology in your compassionate consideration of all high risk gay youth OUT there like Troy.
bless you always
a compliment?
oh, ya ok, my mental powers
a gift God gave ‘me’ ONE day
as you can see, my current self-esteem vulnerable self healing is as such that i am still gripped by occasional triggered emotional abreaction breaks
after Troy died, i was a fucking basket case, explosive daily, hourly, all over the fucking place
arriving in the gay community of Toronto, i was so relieved to see so many like me way back then, when our angst was black leather blood soaked head kicking boots, so much homophobic fear in society back then, compared to today, and yet, when i look beyond Toronto, i am like, OMFG, it is way fucking worse than we ever had it here in Toronto, like those in Arabic speaking parts of the world contend with today.
the fucking lynch mob executioner drag your ass out of your fucking house over there, in front of your loving family, throw you into a vehicle, drive off and execute you, then drop your lifeless hole thru your head dead body with a note attacked to it, ‘HOMOSEXUALS MUST DIE’, in front of the morning coffee shop for everyone to see.
they were doing this when Jesus walked the earth
remember the story when Jesus happened apon a girl they were stoning to death for adultery?
Jesus was ‘that’ of a spiritually wise pure loving compassionate understanding human rights activist, attending to the OBVIOUS unwiseness that gripped society back then, the EXACT SAME generational teaching unwiseness that thrives as it yet does today, sadly of tomorrow too, in his every blessed word, his every blessed heartbeat, every blessed breath, of every blessed step he took while walking among us
i am ‘that’
we all are to some extent or another
when you lose a loved one, it changes you forever
the deep core pure love we purely are of when born, begins to grow and grow and grow within you, shining brightly into every dark corner of the world.
we are all doing it, depending on what has transpired in our blessed lives.
i was so hurt over the loss of Troy
sometimes while walking alone, i picture Troy and i standing on a roof, or sitting in a patio resturant together, or walking down the street hand in hand, laughing and dancing our ass off like we did some days, skipping down the street, in pure atonement radiant bright joyful oneness love of how i know Troy and i were supposed to have been the rest of our lives……………..
homophobia is the primary cause for why Troy is no longer with us………….although i do feel he is yet with us, his pure spirited oneness as my own, that i yet feel within.
it was so hard getting back on my feet to laugh again
shock, guilt, sorrow, homophobia still lingering within and all around back then.
for me, Troy and i were lynched, no different than what they do in some Arabic parts of the world as we speak.
and Troy died from their lynching back then
well ok, they did not murder us, but the church called us sinners, condemned us, outted us in front of the entire congregation.
we were lynched by our own beloved church members we came to know and love
they betrayed us, tryed to tell us evil spirits were taking hold of our lives
Troy and i were in love, and they all knew it, witnessed what we could not hide, of our running and hiding like we did all the time, for three long years.
i still don’t know how it is we did not make it thru to a brighter day………..
God blessed me with Troy
i knew that at the time, but we were gripped by the extrinsic resulting intrisic forces of the unwise lynch mob church and family we walked among
i want the entire world to know what happened to Troy and i
i am the end result of what happened to Troy and i
at all times
i appreciate your understanding why it is i am fucked up at times, of the mental emotional breaks you put up with
“blame the forefathers” Jesus says
blame those who lynched us for why i am yet fucked up
it was horrid what happened
a fucking living nightmare
there was always this pervading loathing in the eyes of everyone when they saw us together, so we ran and hide away from them most of the time, travelling all over Ontario, thousands apon thousands of miles Troy and i drove like we did, feeling free of them, and yet not ever entirely free, knowing we would have to face them all again, family, friends, that we both should of made a pact and ditched them all, don’t look back(as scripture says)………..like i eventually did……….boundaries are vital, life and death importance
there is no such thing as enough being done to assist gay youth in their coming out process.
parents need to be wise in taking the initiative in looking for LGBT support groups for their children to attend, and they need to move quickly on the issue when it presents itself, or risk losing your child to dangerous high risk behaviors of self-medication drug and alcohol addiction abuse, self-inflicted injuries, suicide, and outward violence towards others, resulting in death, destruction, oppression, hospitals, psyche wards and jail
ya, we homosexuals know these places well, don’t we
all homosexuals are of danger to emotional intense high risk behavior
i am living proof of ‘that’
thankful i am still alive………….i survived
many did not
many will not
without all of you
know the dangers your children WILL FACE!
they will face these dangers, if not personally, they will come into contact with those who do, of friends and lovers, where there is danger for them in doing so, of learned behavioral developement.
you need to be your child’s BEST FRIEND
you need to cultivate the level of best friend with your children, to the extent that you KNOW you have a well developed trusting bond with them, where you KNOW they will listen to you over potentially dangerous friendships they cultivate for themselves.
it takes effort and time to build solid friendships with your children
if you do not, your children are at risk of the plodding along haphazardous unwise self-harm behaviorals that lurks thruout the entire world.
bless you all
and thank you for listening
anyway, i feel i am also one who should apologize for my yet over-reaction abreaction mental emotional breaks
forgive me
thanks
i am so bent out of shape lately, the whole HIV sting got to me worse than i could of prepared myself for….another one of my self-harm fuckups
ah well, my living truth serves you all in your becoming wise to what is safe passage thru the dark unwise world
BE CARE FULL ‘OUT’ there everyone!
BE the CONCERN your blessed children NEED 2 learn and BE!
blessings to all
my theme this year for PRIDE coming up, is fierce warrior walking thru the darkness angst, wearing a warriors outfit i created 1994 and did not ever wear in Pride, thinking it was too much angst………not any more, in light of my looking into the darkness that exists in the Arabic speaking parts of the world this past year, look out cruel world, here comes a wise powerful warrior the world has not yet seen or purely felt yet……has a Jimmy Hendrix 60’s look to it, fearless fierce that will kick everyone upside the head, maybe some thigh high boots, black lipstick looking like i am dead, that sorat thing………raging blood dripping emo angst, goth angst, rock and roll Hendrix angst, Muse angst, world angst, all rolled into one fierce don’t get in my way or i will break all your bones motherfucking look……….lol
hey, thanks, im sorry for losing it all the time like i do, wondering at times why you put up with my fuckedup shit like you do(and sometimes don’t)……..it’s just the shit i went thru.
i don’t speak to the real you of the real life way you are, your being somewhat afraid of me i am sure, and i realize i really am too unstable to have around in real life, albeit i am quit grounded and somewhat secure in myself, no self-harm substance abuse going on, and will keep it that way, working thru my emotional stuff, unlike many who avoid it, having you to thank for some of that………still, i must get annoying somedays……..correction………i know i am annoying for you somedays……….i will reel it in abit for awhile, slow my ass down and get to calmer higher ground……..my HIV acute infection phase is nearly over now, feeling alot better, what an experience that was, had no idea they went thru what they go thru till now, it’s horrible, and it lingers 24/7 for weeks and months during the acute infection phase.
hey, thanks, i so needed to hear from you today, upset over my upsetting you over my being upset…………over imagined shit of my own creation mostly, is it not? i mean how much more fucked up can i possible get? 😉
don’t answer that
i already know………in my loss of Troy……….i am no where near being that far gone………..or at least i don’t think i am……….i am still alive, am i not?
i have a job to do, a mission of God, given to me by Troy, of God’s expectations and protection to follow thru in kicking this sorry pathetic unwise hateful world’s stupid ass!!!!!!!! 😉
did you see Opra this week?
with Chely Wright?
that opened the old wounds for me big time!
i am so unbelivably proud of Opra and Chely for being so forthwright truthful in the reality check emotional shit we go thru like she did
‘that’ is what so many are going thru as we speak, and as veterans, we always have to stay in remembrance, that just because we are well past our own emotionally troublesome coming out experience, AT ALL TIMES………..SOMEONE IS GOING THRU HELL!
we know
we always know
thanks Opra!
thanks Chely!
thanks Rosie!
thanks Madonna!
thank you
anyway, enough of my shit
how are you doing?
oh fuck that, you are always doing fine
probably alot better if i was not around, i am sure……..
and i know you think that some days so don’t try to deny it Biyatch!
lol 😉
i am a fuck up
i am a fuck up
i am still a fuck up
i am still fucked up
i am still going to be fucked up
i am still fucked up from this fucked up world
i am NOT this fucked up world
it is the world that is more fucked up than ‘me’
i know that now
ok, so where was i?
oh ya……self-oppression of our other sex, is somewhat of a mystery, considering how much we obviously purely openly love the other sex in life.
that’s what is mind boggling for ‘me’
full transsexuals experience something nobody else does, in going from being purely physically male or female, over to becoming purely phycially the opposite of what they once were, the other sex, and they are the ones who i look to for pure insight into homophobia and heterophobia, where the answer is for future generations.
at some point, scientists need to fully discover, resolve and share with the world, evidence that we may or may not have been at some point in human evolution, both male and female, able to reproduce alone.
they say we came from the sea
and/or they need to scientifically prove that we are all of primal beginning innate sexual behavior of both the female and male in everyone’s brain.
transsexuals KNOW this already
and my experience thus far is that unless you personally go thru transsexual awareness over many years of therapy, you do not fully know the truth that we are indeed born with primal innate sexual behavioral of both sexes in everyone’s brain, why most transsexuals act out as though knowing a secret truth that everyone is fucking stupid!
LOL
well, they do, every spend an entire day with a transsexual?
where most cannot stand to be in the same room with any of you?
it is always there, just under the surface, no matter how much transsexuals try to hide it, they all secretly sorta loath all of you.
we do!
it’s true!
LOL
ah, but i am the wiser transsexual……..who purely embraces both of my female and male sexual behavior, equally so, loving of and as both, where………..
I LOVE ALL YOU FEMALES!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE ALL YOU MALES!!!!!!!!!!!
BE CAUSE!!!…………I CONSTANTLY AM ALL YOU FEMALES AND MALES!!!!!!!!!!
duh!
…….see what i mean?
lol 😉
oh, i am so happy we are still friends!
genuinely, authentically i feel now
are you still pissed off at me?
oh fuck you!!!!
i wish
i love you
im just fucked up cause i cannot love you more
read…….frustration of a transsexual who loves being both the female and male, only able to be with someone who likewise is like me, loving as a female and male
and no pretending bullshit either, no way, you either spend your day fucking as a female one minute and a male the next, in all your sex sessions……….
OR YOU DON’T
so obvious the ones who don’t!
duh!
oppss…….see, i did it again……..lol
you know, tripping over yourself, beating down my door to get in, slapping me left and right back and forth pissed off cause i don’t have your undivided full attention, “What you talkin bout you don’t want to be with me tonight Biyatch, just who the fuck are you running with who has a bigger cock than me? You got five seconds to explain, four, three, two……oh that’s it, you are so talkin to the hand sisters Biyatch, ain’t no way your getting in bed with me again, just take your sorry ass on down the street now, and don’t be lookin back to see if i am a lookin back to see if you are a lookin back to see me lookin, cause i ain’t lookin for you any more Biyatch, now put your clothes on and get the fuck out of my house!!!!!!!!!
LOL
my alter ego……..s/he’s black, of course, duh!
made ya laugh
your turn
seriously, one minute i am female, the next minute i am male, and i switch back and forth without warning, where at times i get into an arguement with my own two self………i was kinda hoping no one would pick up on noticing my sorta split personality, kinda fucked up to be around someone like that, but fuck it, it;s true, i am still in transition adjustment in dealing with the two people i purely am, a female, and a male, and neither of them is willing to die so the other one can live, and strangely, they are starting to love one another now during their masturbation sessions……..don’t ask………lol
i know, you are like, OMFG!
that’s just so fucking twisted!
i know
you should trying being me someday
it gets kinda funny most days, and they both get off each day, ideally at the same time, with simultaneous orgasms………..
oh, stop saying that, OMFG, like stop fantazing about having sex with ‘me’ and just book and appointment Biyatch!
did i just say that?
it’s not what you think
well ok, admittedly i used to do that……
and you say, “Oh, shut the fuck up Andyy! Too much information!”
did i just cross myself off your list again?
oh fuck it, i don’t care, ok?
i mean who wants to be around someone who does not want to be around you? uhm?
well ok, let me re-phrase that……..i mean who wants to be around someone who does not want to be around you, aside from those you want to be around, when you are working at getting paid to have sex with them Biyatches? uhm?
LOL
did i just say that
i did not say that
yes you did!
no i did not, you said that!
ok, i have officially lost it………….
argh…….i gotta cut back on my coffee intake…….. 😉
hey, thanks again
let me get back to you with some pics of the sensitive homoerotic sculpting.
i am painting the replicas a tytanium pure white, that evokes purity feelings when you look at them, exceedingly spiritual.
all the sculptures are of beach scene couples laying in sand, where i use real sand sealed to the replicas around the lovers, with beach peeples, even the tall thin grass(small green feather strands) in the landscape.
i always felt my most pure atonement with my real self while at a beach, all thru childhood of none stop mad laughter with my adorable cousin David and i, and thruout my adult life. There is no more sacred a place in the world for me than on a secluded beach, under the moon, sunset, the breeze, sound of surf, smell of the water, the purely relaxed birds fishing.
we say we came from the sea, so perhaps this is a primal experiential evoking experience for us that we should all be utilizing in maintaining our positive well being.
although i still say full body massage of one to two hours is the best, followed by hottub, sauna and shower sex in all three places………..you sure you don’t want me to cum over?
well, let me know if you ever get bored one day, or God forbid they ever make the mistake of getting bored with you, where i don’t think i want to find out what may happen to me if i make that mistake…….you scare me somedays you know, could you please stop doing that and just relax it abit?
thanks
lol
hey, i was just wondering…………do you think that two lovers who secretly admire and love one another from a distance, who purely do know how they secretly feel for the other, eventually end up together, inspite of anything or anyone else in life who may be of interference for the two secret lovers?
i was just wondering about my adoration of Mike, if he will ever fuck me someday……….
what?
oh sorry, you thought i was talking about us?
LOL
gotcha Biyatch!
well ya, of course i was, but i do sometimes wonder if i should let Mike fuck me somedays.
hey, at least i am 100% honest with you, am i not?
is that not how true friends are?
they can say whatever the fuck they want and get away with it?
although i wonder to where it is we are getting away 2, as in perhaps one day they all ditch our sorry ass as a result of the subconscious detection of the secret love affair these other lovers pic up on in our spiritually not always being in the same room with them………..correction……….spiritually not always being in the same building with them………lol
well, i believe that to be true
no matter how much we try to hide our pure real self, others do subconscious detect it
ok, so there you have it, we will fuck one day!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i knew it!!!!!!!!!
i always knew it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[andy laughs and dances into the street, not watching where s/he is walking, and WHAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!……..s/he gets hit by a fucking bus!]
hey, why is that, us transsexuals seem to always die these horrible deaths?
did you know transsexuals are of the highest risk for suicide than any others, including homosexuals?
the states are fucking unbelievably horrible!
well, we don’t have but each other in life for acceptance, where not even the gay boys and lezzies are purely understanding accepting of us, where it is not really possible for them to be at our level, having not evolved to where we are, and that is what is of transsexual’s having unrealistic expectations of others, where it is the degree to which their unrealistic expectation is, that seals their doom if overly of those who are not able to be accepting of them, a sorta loop they can find themselves stuck in during their years of transistion growth……boundaries.
i have met transsexuals who will not venture anywhere near the gayborhood boys, nope, no way, they don’t fuckin get us, as in they want us to be the boy we once were, and not the girl we are transitioning BEcoming
i don’t expect anyone to emotionally mentally understand, as it does pose as a perplexing inner personal expectation dilema for a potential partner of a transsexual to wrap their head around, all the while of my own transsexual evolving learning growth.
i see myself as bisexual transsexual, not gay, that is more truthfully accurate of me than exclusively gay, even if i may only find a gay male to be a versatile lover with.
i have met some out there lesbians though, telling about these female chicks who said they would do me in a heart beat!
*gulp*
i was like, “really?”
that is so fuckin hot!
can you introduce me to them?
ya sure!
i couldn’t believe it, i was like, no fucking way!!!!
they really do exist!
what are they called again……..dominatrix?
2 is alot more fun than one
twice is alot more fun than once
three?
that’s just greedy
lol
well ok, let’s do it again!
i find that the third time is somehow higher up into a more free liberated state of being freeness relaxed state……..not sure why that is…….perhaps by that time you have adjusted to a more calm state of the blood and body adjustment to the happy brain chemical release from the first and second, a leveling off calmness high.
nine times is my record……….with no breaks……. 😉
amazed myself!
i was floating around stoned for an entire month after that one!
at work, it was like, Andy? Are you ok? You seem like you are somewhere else?
oh yeah, anticipation clothes coming off heaven, early on in a romance, pitter patter of the heart……..what time is it?
lol
ok………have fun everyone!
BE your happy SELF!
i am
thank you .. & thank you
& never doubt for one moment that my love is pure
because I never doubted your love is true
my true love
but sex, well not sure that energy could co exsist with pure love
only because i’ve been through it once before my friend jay ..
as he kicks me in the bum, all the way from heaven ..
my true pure gardian angel
& besides he kept fucking his girl friend on the couch so I would not have come between them..
as I was a true friend the them both
untainted love
or bizzar love triangle
ok …
word’s cannot describe how much i feel for you, but love i will always invest in you.. as much as you need .. unlimited supply
never ending story
ha ha ha
mwah xoxo
how much Coffee you been doin ???
just trying to rational, an explination
does coffee make you anti-social, afraid to talk to your loved ones?
not a good look, less than impressed ….
not that anyone would remember no doubt…
which is probably a good thing
ok well enough of the ramblings …
time to turn it around, yes…
next level please, keeping it up , going up
keep it up
you dont take me seriously
seriously you don’t
your too afraid too
afraid of me, whats there to be afraid of ?
the truth …
i can be untruthful if thats easier for you deal with me, just say so and i’ll do it … it’s what you expect is it not..
dont expectations come true…
you do it to yourself , & you hurt me in the process
stop hurting me…
i will not allow myself to be drained like that again.. i prefer to be connected not working against disconnection ….
may as well had better luck trying to find a peacock in a zoo with blind folds on…..
actually was not to far from the truth …
except i was not the one wearing the Blind Fold’s
appology excepted,
ok ..
but its like what came first the chicken or the egg..
uhm …
who started , who continued , who restarted
& who let ego get in the way of stoping the sillyness
life’s too short …
ego’s to big
find a balance, find it fast … and make it last
FOREVER
abandonment… uhm .. i dont know I dont believe in revenge, eye for an eye…
I just dont agree…
One should foster the light,
not reflect the darkness…
easier said than done i suppose
but we all do it, and we all appologise for doing it
DONT WE !
I cannot go futher today , i am tired & confused …
I dont like being confused,
but thats all your fault, ZERO enticement,
100% sex orientated, real turn off…
has anyone ever taught you to kiss
nah, its me not you..
I fantasise about being a happy gay boy in love with a happy gay boy – never gonna happen
but im a closet hetrosexual – never gonna happen
i dont want to talk about this anymore today … I just cannot see a resolve , so ive become resoved… & there is no time left to decide what i cannot decide …
& besides even if I did pluck up the courage you’d only find an exscuse to defer ….
hence it is what it is .. a more complex situation than just the limitations of time… whats left of time
why dont you just rent me, then there’s no emotion
nice and fake, nothing at stake…
WHO’S FANTACY IS IT ???
how many times do i have to tell you, you are not my fantacy you are my reality …
no one else believes me, but YOU of all people MUST
until you do …
until you do
until you do
until you do
until you do
until you do
are you strong enough ?
well if so whew….
if not learn to be & fast, because i only got a one way ticket and im already on the bus, it’s due to arrive on time.
Only delay would be some dumb ass drag queen called Andy, runnnig across the road getting in the way of the bus shouting LOOK AT ME …. LOOK AT ME …. in one of his many unflatering wigs … half naked .. breasts bouncing about no undies on saying fuck me fuck me…
and the brakes dont work… plus im speeding…
oh you can still say fuck me fuck me just dont fake it,
that’s my job.. lol..
ahh .. got ya.. on that one…
didn’t I ….
oh stop spying on me Biyatch!
kicked em in the bum……..ya ok, sure, cannot live without my total body anal orgasms, as a bottom, but what about me as a top?
i told you how it is that male bottoms are more female in feeling when fucking them as a top?
of course i know this from living happily on both sides of female and male self, fearlessly i might add.
but the truth is, the male penis naturally feels better with the more perfect vagina that is of millions of years evolving perfection, purely specific to the shape of the penis and it’s sensitive tissues that purely do respond more purely to vagina, that is of millions of years in evolution flawless perfection, and with greatest importance of all, for the species to live on, and the fact that our species has lived on, is PROOF that the vagina DOES feel better than anal sex for the male penis, why we are all here, regardless of the bullshit religious controlling morons…….
……..just don’t ever expect any of the yet immature gayboys to admit to this fact, of their head still in the clouds delight enjoyment of their total body simultaneous anal / penis orgasms. 😉
yes, it is true everyone, but here is what really matters most…………mental emotional spiritual oneness compatibility, prior to physical sexual compatibility.
in that order
although lately, having not had sex with a female in over twenty years, i pretty much shine bright anytime any female looks at me sexually………my head swimming with anticipation desire to………..argh………the impulse is pure and strong………ya, without doubt, i am bisexual, to the extent now i have crossed over the line now in fun willing at ease ok ness to go and have casual sex with a female……….well ok, not completely commited yet, but the suggestion offer has been made…………let me get back to you on that one.
ok, let me see if i understand what you are saying……..Jay was a gay bottom boy friend of yours who also loved females, having once been with females, and after awhile you began to notice Jay was not as sexually active in the bedroom with you, in your suspecting Jay was having secret heterosexual masturbation sessons without you knowing it?
did you catch Jay watching any heterosexual porn?
was Jay into letting his top out, of did he suppress his top, out of preference for vagina?
you don’t know?
well then you should ask Jay what is going on with him, and remember, Jay is an individual who is of the freedom to explore and BE whatever is of the pure feelings of Jay, no matter what your wants and needs may be in pushing Jay to where you think Jay should BE, in attempting to disconnect Jay from where Jay actually may BE………….bisexual that is.
what do i think is best for Jay?
well, Jay should seek out a female dominatrix, ideally, enjoying the best of both worlds, but not a dominatrix who is exclusively dominatrix, who likewise like Jay, also enjoys all the body orgasmic experiences like Jay does.
so there you have it Biyatches!
hey, what is a gayboy bottom female who enjoys being a dominatrix with female?
and you say, “You Andyy!”
well ok, i admit, “YES!”
duh!
argh, that would be perfect!
but would it last?
i suppose if they are mentally emotionally physically sexually spiritually compatible, it is a no brainer, so YES!
of course!
without hesitation
not sure how the babies would turn out though.
LOL
seriously, my bisexual top is intensely spiking off the charts, and it is not a mere passing phase, no, years of self exploring inner truthfulness
the female body is the perfection of my own imagined female sexual body i have grown to know and love purely for decades now
ya, of course i cannot simple stop being my female self, hence, enter dominatrix rear center stage. 😉
a no brainer
no no no, not talking about you, a no brainer………..the solution for me is a no brainer!
my thinking is, even if the dominatrix thing back slides over time, the relationship is one of added love beyond a mere heterosexual enjoyment, so without question, it is not able to fail, and at some point the two settle into a pure zone oneness love with each other, especially if they are the wise mellowed same age, in intellectual compatible comfort level with one another.
your energy is so healthy
noticed that about you from the very start
i don’t want to ever taint that from my own fuckedupness level where i yet am at times, not where i want to and albe to healthierly BE
is that a word? healthierly?
a great word……..as in asking a friend, “So are you healthierly in a better orgasmic place now with the masturbation techniques i was telling you about?”
lol
peopler are like, “How is it that those two have not got together and fuck after all this time?”
lol
oh, best friends are the way they are………although i don’t feel i am healthierly where i need and want to BE……… 😉
uhm……..i just notices something…………my female self is of heterosexual thinking and feeling with you, is she not?
if the female of a male is interested in a female dominatrix(male), is that homosexual or heterosexual?
actually, that is what transsexuality is
that does fall more towards heterosexual behavioral, does it not?
that’s cool
smiling smiling smiling………..hysterically actually!
happiness for me, purely is in allowing myself to be at ease in being both my female and male sexual behavior
‘that’ is pure for me
moving away from this will result in unhappiness
those who are not of the delightful at ease sexual fun as i am, are not compatible for the pure place i have arrived at after many years
and that is the PURE TRUTH of me, i really really am 100% of my at easeness in being both my female and male self, without hesitation whatsoever
where the funny part for me, is my sorta knowing more about the male of a female body than a female may not yet know, in a funny way, after enticing them to this place i have known about along time, where my female self, like their own, has this constant smile going on knowingness sorta chasing me naked, as their fearlessness builds to where i eventually do get fucked by them………….my constant inner happiness that is always there, of where i am leading them in awareness of their other sex yet oppressed. 😉
something tells me im into something good!
and let’s not forget the two of them being their other sex together too.
he’s the kinda boy who is not too shy
and i can tell him he’s my guy
i am not merely acting either
no
this is a place most any would not venture to
and the fear, is mostly imagined of how others may think of us
but they are not us
they are not the one’s who swim in love like we happily love to always yearn for in BEing our at ease sexual gayboy gaygirl selves.
i mean think about it, how many bisexual transexuals are at the level i am at?
besides you?
none
you have arrived at the next level, would you like to get off?
LOL
if you can prance down the street, snapping your fingers, purely fearlessly 100% relaxed in yourself, with a jump to the left, a jump to the right, a spin, and purely feel your inner happiness oneness with the one you love………
well, it would be wise to hold onto that, yes?
honestly, i was not 100% how sure you were about your gayboy self awareness
and if this is just you saying things for my sake, of a sorta redirection pointing for my sake, well, why would you do that, when i have been where i am for along time
why didn’t you just say so before about your gayboy repressed self?
honestly i was not sure where you were coming from……..or going
articulation is important
confusion stuckness fear sucks big time
and it stiffles our inner happiness
i just want to dance and prance in oneness with someone who really really does love me and i them, of surrendering to our inner happiness joyfulness flowing none stop, our true nature
and you know this well about yourself
that is the direction of divine true real self
holy joyful absolute carefree happiness
God’s divine will for all
eternally
how sacred is the true nature mirroring shinging forth in the world?
i agree, angst darkness is not my thing either
it is apart of transition coming out
but the real end goal is holy joyful absolute carefree happiness
i do like to mirror the fearlessness angst for them though, as a wise actor activist, esepcially for the ones i know are in the crowd who may not have anyone at all in their inner circle coming out point they may be at when i pass by.
fearlessness is the door they are stepping thru
and the emotional intensity that comes with the whole transition fear of rejection process requires fearlessness to step thru
did you know some of them stay closeted their entire life?
my dad was one who stayed closeted till he died
that is such a sad thing for me, a real life brokeback mountain, my dad
so do you feel what i am feeling?
oh yeah!
sorta like i am standing naked on the other side of the table, looking at you, smiling and laughing inside, watching your every move, knowing what you are going to do next as you move to come around the table to me, as i move to keep my distance away from you, as the pace picks up and you start chasing me naked thru the entire house
LOL
oh, you better not be teasing me……..your gayboy self feels purely real for me………..Matt! 😉
am i strong?
huh?
ah, check again, who am i?
am i not your future self Biyatch?
and how much practice do you suppose one gets at being you for twenty years? uhm?
he walked me home, and he held my hand, and i knew it was not just a one night stand………
well, the moment you step on the bus, time stops, as far as surrendered decision making time as regards orientation time……….you feel the entire future open wide in this moment, where you know 100% you will be living the orientation you step towards in getting on the one way bus out of hell, regardless of who ever is of your future, all family oneness love everywhere you go, every blessed day, where you purely belong in purely BEing who you are, oneness sameness, albeit some are exclusively bottoms, or tops, or versatiles.
i am versatile
no changing that
so of course only a versatile is sexually compatible for me
i cannot change this
even if i wanted to
i cannot
but the thing is, i don’t want to change this, not even 1% of me wants to change this, although i do want to switch it up with a female versatile, rather than a male versatile
strong enough?
ya, i am quite strong smelling after getting all sweaty in my cum soaked body
does that clarify any confusion for you?
you know, the biggest thing i was not sure about, was your gayboy affirmation
fuck
that has always been the issue for me!
was not 100% sure what was going on with you Biyatch!
not sure where you are on the versatile preference of male or female versatile………..and that is a personal thing i won’t interfer with, knowing my own personal exploration fear in going it pretty much alone, yes?
comprehendyy? 😉
ok good.
clarity rules!
i don’t take you seriously?
uhm………what part of, “I can’t fucking stop thinking and feeling about you, do you not understand?”
BIYATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok, so the issue for Andyy, was not about whether s/he is versatile, rather about where Andyy wants to venture, the next level as you say, the issue purely being of Andyy’s self exploration awareness certainty in being happiest with a versatile female.
it was not about being versatile role playing for me
it was about my bisexual being versatile role playing exploration seeking for a versatile role playing female male like me
always was
who knows Andyy better than Andyy?
besides Jesus Mary and God
uhm……….that would be you Biyatch!
like i always said about what they would say and feel of our wise divine self eternal day mirroring, “What is wrong with those two?”
i like mild stimulants like coffee and nicotin
but likely feel healthier without them
need exploration safe distance appreciation to make the final leap
both stimulants potentially affect our mental emotional calmness uncertainty confidence in a bad way, a less calm true real self focusing ability.
in order to get back to self-actualization in who we always were, well, you have to rid yourself of all these adult stimulants people, especially alcohol
duh!
although i did have some wine last night
i met a budda priest last night, dressed in traditional budda character garb, a living walking budda, so cool
came to my table to greet me, as i kissed his hand and blessed him, and he me.
i feel they have a role in societies well being
everyone was happy to see him, especially the kids
i like Chinese Opera, the males who you cannot tell if they are males, the voices they sing with too, hidden males as females.
Chinese Opera culture is mainstream sexual orientation, albeit of secret hidding, and has been for thousands of years, and that is really cool!
alot of homosexual history in the world, Chinese Opera one of them
he’s the kinda boy who’s not too shy
and i can tell him he’s my guy
he dance closed to me like i hoped he would
good song choice yes?
almost as if it is purely 100% spiritually meant exclusively for you for this day, yes?
the eternal day, yes?
ha, fruedian slip again……….closed
lol
the sun is shining, the butterflys are fluttering, the shimmerng on the water is blinding bright in my eyes, awakening my pure inner feeling real self like it does, wondering to myself, do you feel like i love to do 2?
i suppose one has to trip over themselves and smack their head a few times on something in fully waking the fuck up………….
something tells me im into something good…………
fuck, can’t stop thinking about sex with a female, most of the the males are getting boring for me now…….and females are more like who i am, female, so i feel best around females, naturally so, and their energy is more true and pure of real self, where the male ego is so fucking annoying, so friggin arrogant dominating all the time, without fucking you, i mean what the fuck is that about anyway, their shit for brains sexism indicative of their low self-esteem limp dick frustrators.
as with my female transsexual self more at ease around other female transsexuals, who are ahead of me, likewise i am most comfortable around females like me, who likewise don’t know what to do with their male self.
hey, i know, why don’t i share my male self with you and you share your male self with me, where we females finally get 100% control of the males no longer in charge of our orgasms, uhm?
is this a lesbian conversation?
im confused………..NOT!!!!!!!
hahaha
i see, well, you know, faking imagination actually starts with teen masturbation, which is healthy and natural occuring, even of the most loving happy lover couples.
doctors encourage masturbation with couples, where partners may not quite know how to stimulate us as well as we do, hence the connected greater sex possibility masturbation sessions that lead the way to healthier happy sex partners, provided there is fearless communication…………
well ok, thinking of someone else while with another, i am not so sure if that is a good idea over a long term period, but stopping it may mean stopping the fantacy imagination and get with the one you anticipate like we love to do, yes?
stop lying to ourselves
ok, no more lies
all OUT in the open now
Andyy is a versatile bisexual transsexual transgender female in a male body, who prefers being with versatile bisexual transsexual transgender male in a female body
beginning/end of conversation
[fingers snapping, Andyy skipping slowly down the street in the morning sunshine, softly singing to the ipod song, ‘Woke up this morning feeling fine. There’s something special on my mind. Last night i met a new boy in the gayborhood. Something tells me im into something good.”]
ok, i will keep an eye out for run away bus with no brakes unable to stop, but if you are driving, how the fuck am i able to help you?
it’s not like my jumping in front of the fucking thing is going to help……fuck that!
i know, there are these massive huge 300 year old trees in a part near by that are more than able to stop your run away ass……..you should see these things, the permanent presence feeling they are of, so sturdy, and so big!!!!!!
i like big
i love big
how big did you say you are?
i have a big imagination, but to compensate with mostly imagination, well, i ain’t doing what you are yet doing Biyatch! 😉
nor should you
lol
i would say it is best to just show up on the scene, and not worry at all about who is with who around here, in shaking things up around this boring ass gayborhood.
and what happens happens, in what people think of you or does not, where at the end of the day, we end up ditching what we may have thought at first was a good idea only to find out they have a small dick, of denial you cannot deny as before, having grown out of self-harm denial for some time now.
at all times, you are in charge of your destiny, and if happiness is not on the list, well, you are your own worse enemy, although time does have a way of eventually revealing our true real self wants and needs.
i know where i am going and where i am, grounded, centered, i am in charge of me at all times, no one else, and i can make decisions in any given moment on any given day that i want and need.
my life
my happiness
my choices
my physical
my mental
my emotional
my sexual
my spiritual
my compatible partner
looking for ‘me’
my
can you hear them? Rosie is like, “OMFG!!!” hysterical laughter…..
i can show you the dance steps for this song if you want
it is a slow sorta no where more important to be than where you always importantly are, walking down the street like you own it, and the others are just tourists, step step step, stop, pause, look around, step step step, snapping fingers, a knowingness feeling how others should feel, and do whenever they see you and your partner, the mad laughter you always are of everywhere you go, you know, surrendered real self coming forth in lover compatibility, 100% pure heaven, where what matters most in life, is your partner, no one else, albeit, all are as equals in your heart of how they too should always feel, a none stop dancing holy joyful absolute carefree inner happiness constantly just BEing YOU!
feels good, yes?
Just BEing YOU!
and some of you are so fucking hot hot hot!
have you seen that new one who just hit the scene? lol 😉
gay as fuck, isn’t it?
constantly, every step, yes?
see what i mean?
that is what heaven is for me, daily, all the time
well ok, not all the time, big dick boy is still preoccupied with another who is a waste of time, waiting to see when, not if, butt when big dick boy realizes what i know s/he will eventually………..and then, happiness, where already i am the anticipation happiness of the future, dancing around, am i not?
practice practice practice
cum on now!
ok, your turn to lead
but practice the steps first, before presenting it, cause sometimes i don’t know where you are going, hard to follow at times, and the trips are ok, gives it a more spontaneous real life feeling, flawed flawlessness, where there is no such thing in life as anything completely perfect, other than mathematic constances.
as much as we like to think life is supposed to be a perfect this way or that, it actually is a constant variable changing all the time inundated chaos, is it not?
and no matter how much we want it to go perfect, it does not, and in truth, there is no such thing as perfect running in nature, of constant weather changes.
so holding out for a perfect someone is a delusional avoidance attempt to fill whatever unaddressed void that may exist in our real wants and needs being met.
although i am a size queen and there are specifics i adhere to for choice of lover(s).
butt in the end, all our orgasms are the same, and all the happy brain chemical release occurs the same way in all of us.
we are like splitting multiplying bacteria cells that are not different from one another of the same bacteria, albeit, there are various different bacteria, but phycially functionally, mentally, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, we are not different, albeit at different levels of mental fortitudes, but in the end, does it not all lead to the same thing, healthy continuation in just enjoying our BEing the physical stimulation delight of our sensory perceptions?
constantly, in each second, we are ‘that’
uhm………i want clarity on something………
are you being real like you claim to be?………
or are you saying things specific in mirroring reflection for sake of me and my own mental emotional addressing?
i want closure on that
feels like a professional councel relationship most of the time, and i have question this for some time now.
not sure if you knew i was feeling this way for some time now or not………thought i would let you know.
oh never mind, just my own paranoia insecurity……..how i feel at times about this whole blogging experience……….and yet who continues this long like you have unless…………..unless………….unless……………………?
unless……………………..
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are just as fucking twisted as i am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL
let’s smoke a joint!
happiness starts inside you 😉
get it?
inside you?
me inside you?
……..some top humor
is that the vibe you are looking for?
like magnets, the attraction is constantly always there, and the closer they get, well, at some point they just ‘snap’ 2gather, rather quickly at the end, of a sorta surrendering to your own natural occuring attraction acknowledgement in ‘oh for fuck sakes, what the fuck took so me so long to realize my own self-love oneness as yOURs?” lol
the skip in your step is of your own doing in turning wisely to allowing yourself to feel what is yOUR constant yearning to always feel what is self-love oneness within us all, dancing bubbling sweet anticipation exceeding happiness bursting brightly everywhere you go, eternal day light of eternal all ‘real’ you set free from false oppression blindness sadly of so many.
again, i ask, “just how sacred is this self-love mirroring” of the eternal all light within evoking free spirited holy joyful happiness, no matter the false generational unwise binding blinding ignoramous forefather taught oppressive denial barriers yet of this world?”
feeling extraordinary wondrous radiant brilliant bright is infectious, and truly freeing, to the degree we can often be seen of a falling face plant head first into the snow or water at the beach, of mad hysterical laughter over how silly our stuckup tiresome annoying bitter old self really was, in realizing fully, “Oh for fuck sakes, how did i let myself get so jaded and caught up in other peoples foolish folly that led to painful empty nowhere, when all along what i was looking for i already was and constantly am within?” 😉
feels kinda wierd at first for some, of a “darkness is over” liberated pure flawless feeling occuring, that leaves us asking, “what happened? I feel so free now, all the false imagined binding oppressive nescient fears of before now gone, yes?!”
we are all the holy joyful absolute carefree happy divine child at play are we not?
i mean, not everyone is wisely tuned into their pure inner happiness merely of being alive in constantly feeling all our sensory perception purely so at all times, the gentle breeze, the smell of flowers, the lightness on our feet of yearning to break into dance happiness expressing always there like it is when we allow ourselves to always feel this way, unbound and untroubled by the unwise binding of other’s ‘sticks in the mud’ or ‘moving coffins’ as Jesus says. 😉
so there you have it, the kingdom of heaven is merely ‘that’ of flawless constant love feelings flowing sweet anticipation with another liberating inner happiness oneness state of being FEELING!
dancers know this easily of their true real self, yes?
i mean what is any body doing day in and day?
i should take a camera and go around doing quick random interviews of people………with this song playing, asking contrasting questions……..like first thing in the morning on their way to work……..hehe……..ah, i love my carefree life so much now!
“you there, what specifically are you feeling right now?”
as they give you a blank stare…….
“ok ok, hear, listen to this music for a moment………now what are you feeling?”
as they start smiling………and then slowly their body starts to change……mmmm…….the stiff uptightness loosening up, as their body begins to sway in happiness, then a foot starts to move, a tap tap at first, then the shoulders start to move as dance takes over, a snapping of the fingers starts, and OUT comes the happy real self smiling brightly…….as their disposition changes completely to where the divine child within them all obviously really does constantly yearn to always be allow to feel this way, yes?
Troy says, “the kingdom of heaven is your feelings”
always was, was it not?!
duh!
and still is, is it not?
what we all have and always……..always…….R! 😉
Jesus is correct, “ForgetFULLness is our greatest foe!”
Troy and i used to spend hours debating back and forth on our feelings over the words of Jesus, expanding his words of intertwining meanings that were of combining the words and phrases together that point in directions of divine self understandings.
“the kingdom of heaven is your feelings” is one such understanding Troy and i came up with.
bless you always
ok, so it is purely true then, what we look for has already come, has it not?
just don’t cum before i do Biyatch!
i hate it when you do that!
lol
‘that’ happy gay boy in love with a happy gay boy?
ok, so we know first hand full well how extraordinary wondrous the kingdom of heaven constant love devoid of doubt feels for us in each passing moment, yes?
feeling so good we want the whole world to feel this way, yes?
ok, so as concerned enlighted ones, the evoking mirroring sacred divine self kingdom of heaven light within the all is of infectious spreading thruout the world in each passing moment, provided one takes 100% ownership responsibility of wise priority maintenance of our FEELINGS that requires a wise helmsperson cultivation that only we can do for ourselves in nurturing protecting our true real self liberated spirit from the snared bound foolish ego taught forefather world.
as for motivation empowerment on par with God’s omnipotence, extraordinary wonderous holy joyful absolute carefree happy divine self eternal day light not only shines outward into the unwise world thru another to another, in truth, the entire eternal future changes right now in this moment, according to the light that exists in you, where far far into the eternal future, the exact same light you are of right now in this moment, is the exact same happiness light still shining on in the eternal future.
sorta like a long long tunnel with no end, of you entering into the tunnel with a flash light, divine self light, that either shines brightly, or if not shining brightly, they are the dimming deminishing darkness, that does the opposite, yes?
love(divine self light) vs hate(forefather deathful destructive oppressive false darkness)
wisdom(divine self light) vs ignorance(falsehood ego darkness)
compassion(priority of what you turn towards) vs apathy(no desire for cultivating wise enlightened sacred leadership)
indeed, you know this to be 100% truth of YOU
in so knowing, you know this to be 100% truth of others
indeed, truth of the eternal all, is it not?
God’s divine will empowerment motivation indeed is of such vast importance, beyond our imagination of just how many devasting useless horrific wars that can be avoided, merely by means of even just one cultivating enlightened divine self wisdom shining forth real self happiness feeling.
i don’t believe in preaching God’s wisdom, where religious groups are of a lacking understanding for what exactly is the end goal of God’s divine will……
devoted enlightened monks i feel are the ones who comprehend the end goal divine will objective of God, holy joyful absolute carefree happiness.
what is great about happiness, is that our brain releases anti-stress chemicals into the body.
this in turn translates into divine self true nature behavioral, without preaching a single oppressive binding word
dance
music
art
that is what is most effective in evoking God’s divine will objective eternal happiness light of the eternal atonement of the entire eternal future……….who are constantly always right there in this moment here in the present.
hear, i will prove to you that your present day feelings are directly linked to the past in real time…………….
Jesus says, “Let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished, and he will rule over the All.
I shall give you what no eye has seen and what no ear has heard and what no hand has touched and what has never occurred to the human mind.
When you make the two one, and when you make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside,
and when you make the male and the female one and the same, so that the male not be male nor the female female; and when you fashion eyes in the place of an eye, and a hand in place of a hand, and a foot in place of a foot, and a likeness in place of a likeness; then will you enter the kingdom.
no one lights a lamp and puts it under a bushel, nor does he put it in a hidden place, but rather he sets it on a lampstand so that everyone who enters and leaves will see its light,
If a blind man leads a blind man, they will both fall into a pit,
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize your own eternal day divine self light.”
well ok, some of you do………thank God
“Blessed is the one who has suffered and found life”
the divine self of all suffers forefather generational oppression to one extent or another, do we not?
in truth, our lacking understanding leaves us to be caught up in our own self-affliction ring master slavery, do we not?
sorta like if there is no wise divine evolved self to lead and follow, then what is there for anyone to follow but what is there?
in other words, all death, all destruction, all oppression comes forth(darkness) into the tunnel, dimming the tunnel, casting fearful controlling oppression(although some control is necessary at this point in human history evolving, for obvious reasons of horrid forefather teaching and following), is all directly linked to the degree of priority enlightenment of the eternal all, why i embrace buddism as well at this point, although psychology is my foundation.
all of it at all times is the truth to which degree enlightenment currently is thruout the entire world as one whole.
why divine self happiness music, art, and dance is so important and being embraced well thruout the world as we speak, thanks impart to the wise motivational freeing influence of all you involved with MADONNA
bravo everyone!
better not be sitting down, get back to work! lol
what escapes our knowingness certainty is we do not know how the eternal future is going to play out according to our efforts………or do we?
look how large the Toronto Pride event has become, as a result of continuous pushing forward homosexual nurturing acceptance awareness light in just being our liberated happy SELF
ok, so the eternal safe passage tunnel is still of darkness generational purging taking place thruout the world as we grow in awareness oneness of our divine self spirit.
what is so amazing for me personally, is speaking with others in another part of the world of a different language using translators, where you can feel their spirit like your own, such as mOzhae, who i met from Asia.
truly, it is so so incredible to feel how healthy the spirit of another is in the world, where each day our enlightened uplifting happy spiritedness is transmitted around the world in all our efforts, no matter how small or how big, such as the sacred small sensitive homoerotic acceptance art pieces i am creating, what i choose to be of priority nurturing for the world.
most of all though, is what you said, as regards blessed sacred mirroring divine self mirroring, shining forth for sake of the eternal all, no matter orientation actually…………happy gay boy or girl in love with a happy gay boy or girl
IT’s MY TURN TO BE THE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL
BE my Valentine?
ok, next year is fine……..butt i am not waiting another fucking year after that, ok?……..got it? lol
for me, the sensitive homoerotic sculptures however small, are in no way insignificant for someone who takes ownership of them and in no way insignficant as relates to the permanent place they will found thruout the world, for all eternity, so just how big are these pieces as regards the eternal future influence they will have in, oh say, the next one million years?
that chemical plastic shit everyone talks about as bad, is supposed to last forever, yes?
you should see these things, they are like huge rare gems, one of kind, not seen by mankind before, all shiny bright rainbow glass like shimmering, the beach scene, gasp, the sex they are having……. lol
so uhm………whatcha wanna talk about?
my thinking is people are not of priority inner happiness seeking understanding, where musicians and DJs play a vital role, do they not?
you get to chose what you want to evoke of their divine self………the power of God, is it not?
just don’t let it go to your head
follow your own light
it is the same in others…..mostly
although some are seemingly impossibly hopeless unreachables, bruised and batter too much i suppose, everyone keeping their distance, which only adds to their situation……..then again, i dragged my ass out(no pun intended) into the dance clubs week after week until i was feeling better, that did take along time……..
you have one life to live, and it is over before you know it, where it is the journey of moment by moment, not some distant future place, not some distant future financial health, not some distant far off exotic land, no, where if you are not with the one you love, where does it matter where you are, or how wealthy you are without them?
no, it is about each passing thriving happiness moment by blessed moment with one you love to feel love for who loves to feel love for you, oneness love devoid of doubt.
and when ego enters and starts to take over one of the lovers………….run!
happiness priority, moment by moment, of constant love devoid of doubt
‘that’ is what the kingdom of heaven is, your feelings
bless you all
“If one who knows the all still feels a personal deficiency, he is completely deficient.” ~ Jesus
what meanings do you feel this has?
be truthful of real self
it is more about your own self awareness, not of what you think i would think about what you think
it is a personal between you and Jesus
for me, the key word is ‘feels’ a personal deficiency, where whatever the supposed (worldly)distracting self-deprication(deficiency) may be, it is the negative feeling one feels which blocks the divine self thriving happiness that is actually free for anyone to feel, no matter your wealth in life, yes?
kids know this well
and indeed, kids are more in the correct direction by their healthier(closer to the womb) intuitive nature they yet or more of than adults, who are more of the liberated tendancy to feel their own inner happiness more often than not.
you have any personal defiencies?
what?
you don’t have a dick?
no way, get out of here!
really?
LOL
lesbians rule!
no really!
get out of here!
LOL
ok……..enough for one day……..oh, it’s all just ONE day of ONE life we live, is it not?
every day is the ‘same self-love devoid of doubt feeling’ day as the day before of the ‘same self-love devoid of doubt feeling’, same as you, your friends, family, see that hot one across the street, yep, same, their orgasmic experience is just as fantastic for them as is yours.
yep!
lol
and you say, “And just how is it you know that?”
and i say, “I slept with them! duh!”
LOL
he’s the kinda boy who is not too shy…… 😉
Jesus says, “you do not know how to read this moment.”
what meanings does your true real self feel(read) this has?
for me, it has to do with your awareness in recognizing your own divine true real self oneness light the same as Jesus, that Jesus already knows about you before asking you the question……..a starting/ending point of vital importance awakening of divine true real self, where blessed kingdom of heaven true love devoid of doubt loving life constantly always revolves around the divine true real self, so the question is of utmost vital important embracing, why Jesus asks the question, in prodding your ‘real’ self into seeking awareness in how to ‘read’………of the slowing into graceful pure loving divine self ability, and only of the true self, not useless coldness false mask egos we use to hide behind, that serve no one, including the divine self, albeit, we think it serves us well in hiding, ultimately it actually hinders us from living constantly in thriving happiness shine forth at all times.
blessed are the children who naturally are of the abiltiy to just be their true self as you all once and yet are within.
blessings to all
i feel what is most interesting of Jesus, is that Jesus was walking, geographically speaking, mostly somewhere between Roman occupied territory,
Christian Judaism to the west, and muslim occupied territory to the east, in between them, revolting against both………interesting.
Christians believe that man is born a sinner and will never quite be up to the standard God has set, in some Christian circles, and that is absurd.
in truth, we are of purity harmoniousness by nature of what is the biological harmoniousness of our cells, of oneness harmoniousness flowing in our empty brains(no generational ignorance taught noise), purity of what is the pure harmoniousness of our cells before being born.
what all sin actually is in this world is of all learned behavioral of handed down forefather teachings, including many evil teachings yet of many Christians circles, such as taboo ignorances about self awareness homosexuality.
Christians
Jesus on the other hand, does claim to be divine, in what obviously is his evolved adult child awareness pure feelings Jesus meditatively turned towards and came to know exceedingly well, away from the chaos inharmonious absurd generational noise of the world, which makes sense, in self awareness, meditatively speaking………
where many Christians don’t embrace themselves as being born as divine beings already, entering into a hazardous unwise generationally bound in ignorance world, horrid absurd ignorances we still see that thrive in the world, unbelievably absurd,
and where likewise, non-Messianic Jews hold Jesus accountable in Jews dismiss Jesus as the Messiah, because they feel that his claims of being divine and failing to deliver Israel from oppression mean he was only a prophet or a teacher……..ya well, again, it is the horrid forefather absurd ignorances that is of all oppression of the pure divine self spirit, before Jesus arrived, of what is all false oppression teaching still being taught in the world, that amounts to any and all oppression of our true real self mental emotional physical sexual spiritual well being
i do feel there is a more pure meditative place in spirituality understanding, than can be achieved merely by phsychology approach alone, just don’t ask me about my halucinations of spiritual ghosts i summon to come forth.
LOL
as a meditative student i am………..if for nothing else but to distract one from the chaos noise bitter ego useless chatter ANNOYING circles that exist in the world………yawn……….. 😉
tea time!
such amazing weather! love it!
the kingdom of heaven is about our meditivative awareness flawless pure emotional feeling state of BEing
and the more constant you are able to BE of the true self state of BEing, the more you are of BEing in the kingdom of heaven halo protective perspective
what the kingdom of heaven is, a protective monk wise discerning perspective ability in staying in the zone flawless pure feeling we love like we do
and anyone who treads on us, well, you scare me some days, indicative for me of just where is that line i keep testing with you, ah, ok, found it…….i will say this, i detect that you are of a more flawless pure state vulnerable place ability than what i yet know?
is that true?
i sensed that the other day
ok, i admit, i am wreckless, obviously
but at least i stay true to my inner connected liberated true sexual self, a female, a male.
so we both have evolved issues more so than the other
oh, why can’t we all just be homosexuals?!!!
the world would be completely happy then, ……..nastier, but with no hypocrisy heart hiding mean spirited behind the back, no, we simple shred you where you stand, in you face, immediately, and forget your shit, no taking it home attitude, resolve it right there, on the spot, healthier, happier
haha
you know, the phrase, “Hopelessly in love” makes no sense……..no, the kingdom of heaven love devoid of doubt constant flowing flawless state of BEing the liberated true real YOU is of our pure harmonious HopeFULL self-love knowingness that love is the kingdom of heaven found within, within another and others all around us, always there, so what does hopeless have to do with BEing in our own self-love oneness 2gather?
ok, so now we know what is true of the divine true real self true nature, always there within, always so vital in evoking awakening in others so as for them to not get so overly beatup by the ego mongering evil nomads in the world, of our personal and professional worlds.
the kingdom of heaven found
more valuable than all the riches of the world
let me ask you, if you had a to make a choice between wealth and my love for you, which would you chose?
wait………don’t answer that just yet………
LOL
Jesus says, “when you fashion eyes in the place of an eye”
what does this mean to you?
for me, eyes, plural, two or more, is of what is the divine self and what is of the false self ego(s), of two insights, rather than being just the one eye stuckness of constantly being your ego.
having depth perseption of two eyes is descerning ability not possible with just the one eye ego
knowingness insight of both is what discerning ability is, of all darkness falsehoods that serve as wise discerning truth ability of all falsehood untruths.
in other words, the one eye ego agenda darkness falsehoods unknowingly serve the wise divine self as revealing contrasting truth of all untruths light as the divine self moves forward in time with humiliating revealing contrast for all to feel what to their own divine self discerning ability oneness…….such are the wise revealer(s) they speak of who in prophet scripture, yes? 😉
that makes sense to me, not some holy sword weilding warrior coming out of the sky.
the cool part of being a revealer, is they don’t know you are present among them, unknowing that you are secretly watching and studying their ego falsehoods. 😉
stealthily i might add, don’t much talk with them much about their aimless haphazard plodding along unknowingly with a ring master ring thru their noses that leads them any direction it wants to, like the bankers and wall street did to so many in cashing in on their naiveness of the trickery that was done to them……….and they got away with it too…………so far………
theft
that’s what it was
a deliberate set up, so much so, they not only anticipated it, they created it to fall in overzealous specultation price building, betting on the side lines.
can you believe that?
so underhanded trickery under the table
as if they will ever own up to it, the shady under the table dealings, unless………..hmmm……….they could find the kick back bank accounts that link them………but if the bankers are of participant assistance, then all traces have disappeared, or did not exist………
bah…….blind leading the blind anyway, and they all fell off a cliff.
i think big brother knows about the full understanding of these masters of trickery, but do not have evidence that links them.
as if criminals would do it out in plain sight………albeit, in plain site……….
there are bank robbers, and then there are wall street bank robbers who work within the confines of the law, and yet secretly doing what they call ‘kick back’ deals on the side lines, below radar.
a mob thing
time for my evening stole………
so was it all a ruse?
i don’t want to think that………i am in a better place mentally emotionally, so a grateful thank you, either way……….
thank you! 😉
would it be possible to not delay another year, to turn around towards me and smile, a welcoming smile of inviting fearless acceptance on life cross road place of sameness .. in the same place same building … before you run out the door..
can you, please
i think i just did that, did we not?
well ok, the same planet, yes?
door?
there ain’t no doors in heaven, when heaven is our mind, our preferred state of BEing mindFULLness
already done, you need not ask what you already know
what oneness love devoid of doubt constantly is, always there, always the same, without fail, unable to fail, not like your bus brakes in trying to run me over.
always a smile, you know that, how we always yearn to feel and BE
maybe when i get back on my feet abit more?
kinda weary right now, getting stable, grounded, centered in my artist life, that i love being, of meditative sorta sancuary devoted work, healthy for my positive well being, took quite a hit on the emotional slide during the acute infection phase, that has left me drained………and you too.
sorry about that, HIV does what it does, and you saw first hand the drastic mental emotional change proof, and i know it is deliberate of the virus as a way to move from host to host, a highly evolved bug that has likely been with us since the beginning.
i like the HIV bug, i don’t hate it, i admire it’s ability to survive, from a biological view, it really is an evolved smart bug……..with no brain
& no acting yes ?
a smile.. a hello too
please..
ok great, thank you
i don’t know, meeting you?
i have a rather intense calm exceedingly graceful stare, my true at ease nature, that looks right thru a person, that i notice is abit alarming for some people, not sure how you would feel around someone like that. 😉
like a monk
i am most like the presence of a calm relaxed graceful monk
i could wear a monks garb if that would help you understand me more, visually……..
what did you have in mind?
some dinner, some wine, some time alone, a walk on a beach, a morning sunrise on the steps Jesus walked on?
that would be cool!
acting?
can i dance?
maybe skip down the street, spin around a few times, spill my wine, and kiss you in a long soft passionate ‘real’ kiss?
as you grab my ass
oh fuck……..is this that door i was curious about earlier?
oh fuck……it is!
now what?
think think think, do i wear the girl jeans or the boy jeans?
i am getting delirious just thinking about it!
in a purely good way
gulp………..hi
uhm, some time together with some wine with plenty of time to talk and feel what is feels to be with someone devine
feeding you grapes from the vine
hoping you will be mine
i had wine last night……..was great!
had fun with the China town budda priests i love so much, a oneness state of being they are of, and wise too.
i admire their tireless efforts, they really are constantly compassionate for others in a wise knowing way of approach with them.
ok, grapes, wine, the steps Jesus walked on, the morning fresh cool softness of breeze, the birds singing, the early peacefulness of morning sunrise, talk about what ever you want……….did you just ask me to be mine?
oh fuck, you did!
wtf?
so are you coming ova ?, i left the door open ..
oh shit what about the wine, come help me choose a wine
choose a wine?
red
oh, you just wanna do me in the wine cellar, i know you better than you think, i don’t think so, i am not following into the wine cellar, i may not come back out alive, nope, no way. I would end up getting drunk off my ass down their unable to walk.
lol
i really do love my wine……..alot actually
the dryer the better
drink it from a wood goblet sometime, a different time period, of ordinary real life authentic genuine people sensibility.
oh come on.. im sure you will be ok.. its me remeber..
you do remember dont you 😉
ok meet you at the wine cellar now
of peasant farmers who live daily off what the land provides them with, a way of life of strong bonding family and friends way of life, no wealth of any kind really, at one with nature, thankful mostly of what is of most value to them, each other, rather than any dilerious desires of foolish possessions they not only did not have, did not want them! 😉
for me, it really is about the spirit of the people i enjoy
no matter who they are
where happier is obviously where i belong
shit i dont have a wine cellar,
off to the nearest alcohol store to buy some wine,
actually, i have been recalling alot lately, seeing as you mention it…….
and well, let’s just say, if i were you, i would so want this Biyatch me, to fuck me!
lol
you are teasing me like i am a adult 40 year old virgin, arn’t you?
and you are enjoying it, i can tell
clothes on or clothes off?
does it have real stone walls and floors?
seems brightly lit
oh, i couldn’t keep up with you and you know it…….a pipe dream
where’s my pipe? 😉
bye
i don’t allow myself into stores that sell alcohol
a rule i still adhere too, once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic……..this rule has work successfully for me.
i do allow myself occassional drinking of the alcohol stimulant in social gatherings though, wine being my favorite, in moderation.
oh, i don’t use a pipe, don’t do drugs, did in my youth, horrible experiences most of the time……was actually thinking of a wise old monk sitting with a pipe, working at his devoted works in an exceedingly pure peaceful sanctuary.
well that was quick, didn’t even get our clothes off, and look who is running away……….again.
i am afraid of you
you know, the heterophobia thing
always was afraid of them since hitting puberty, although there was this girl next door who was not afraid of me at all or i her………Mike’s sister………got caught a few times by Mike being her playing doctor, my mom being a nurse and all, kids being kids.
damn, every time i turned around, Mike was stalking me, always there, like the time with my mom’s playgirl magazines, in our forties now, and he still has that gleem in his eye for me, i think he secretly misses me in his life, a bond that goes back to when we met at age 5, admittedly, i still think of Mike, sexually, being the secret object of my desire like he was for me, for a LONG time……. lol
hmmm……..you know, maybe it is your who cannot keep up with me, as much as you want 2, maybe i got it backwards, that i am the more evolved sexual you that you secretly crave, yes?
hello?
hey, get back here, you can’t just walk on past shaking your ass in front of me like that, thinking i don’t know you are still thinking of us………..stop that will ya?!
and you talk about me being a turn off, that i am only about sexual orientation, uhm, hello? ya well, who do you know in life who explores issues to the depth like i do? uhm?
that’s right, no one!
well ok, go back to your lover, that’s fine, if they truly are the one you would rather be with, where i don’t want anyone who is not of certainty of their feelings for who they want to be with, where i don’t want to find myself ever having to wonder, that’s for fickle low-self esteem teenagers to play, not me
really, i see it more clearly now, that you are the more insecure one than i am
perhaps you think i don’t truly want you
well, i don’t if there is no mutual sincerity oneness surrendering, i mean hello, i am not some immature lover who does not have the word compatibility in their vocabulary, addressing all the issues that pertain to our physical mental emotional sexual spiritual well being.
perhaps my anxiety over you is linked to my unresolve with Mike, where until i ask Mike one day if he wants to fuck me at least once before i die, i am not 100% ready to give my full undivided attention to a lover?
lol
i suppose i should ask him, if for curiousity sake alone, in watching his eyes, smile and body language in the moment of my asking him……..
i know, i will let him get me drunk and stoned first, like he always does when ever i visit, and then just gracefully move in and kiss him sincerely, purely, lovingly, and if he grabs a hold of me kissing me back, well, just flow with that!
and if not, then just stumble away into the darkness without a word, and maybe turn around one day and find him standing there with sincerity in his heart oneness as my own.
a love story
ya, i will always love Mike, till my last day
and he knows i do, my crying and hugging him the last time i was with him, his wife not quite sure wtf was going on, or Mike for that matter, but i think he may have understood later………recalling how he knew i felt about him from our oppressed teenager years, if only subconsciously, Mike knows that part of himself that is always there, what out homosexuals know fearlessly about their own homoerotic thoughts and feelings once they start, which may occur at a pure level without them knowing what is happening at first, when they hit puberty……….did for me, over my cousin David, was not sure what was happening to me at the time, the hormone levels i had know idea were starting for me at the time, the intense feelings of intimacy that just flooded over me, not really sure why it was i wanted to be alone with him, naked, me being a kid who was completely clueless about the puberty transistion i was entering into and what comes with that naturally, purely so.
ya, i think David was my first natural occuring homoerotic feelings in hitting puberty, as a clueless teen who did feel what i was feeling, so purely, so innocently, the depth of oneness love i wanted to feel forever with him, in my ease of recalling the day i was there with him able to feel what it was i was feeling like i did.
isn’t that beautiful?
that is what may or may not be naturally occuring with your kids everyone, not something evil, not something learned, nope, purely natural occuring and innocent oneness love they always were of, that intensifies when they hit puberty.
of course, our parents who let David and i sleep in the same bed all the time as kids, may have contributed to David and i both turning out gay later in adult life………you think?
lol
he’s the kinda boy who’s not 2 shy
hey, this song is about me, yes?
do you feel what i feel? 😉
oh, to feel the certainty of this feeling all the time, ‘that’ is where i always want to BE found with YOU!
get your ass back here Biyatch!
how can we be finished when we are just getting started? uhm?
hey, i know, why don’t you come with me to meet Mike, and we all have some wine together, and i get to kiss Mike on the lips when we say goodbye, as we get back on the chopper in our bad ass leather clad tight perfect ass fitting gear, you dressed like a boy, me dressed like a girl, androgynous looking fun?
leaving Mike even more perplexed than he has been all these years!
me being the graceful floating thru the air sissy ass Biyatch, don’t even look at me the wrong way, you the quite bad ass butch dominant one, spike collar and all, the black gloves, who obviously deserves to own and protect me………from Mike!
lol
well ok, let me know if the feeling grows for you
get back to me if the urge arises purely for you
i will be there
where i am
looking at my watch……..
“Where the fuck is that Biyatch?!”
“Fuck!”
lol
oh, and wear some bad ass thigh high boots!
those things are like so taking over the world stages!
no one wears them better than Madonna
an pure true extension of her fearless protective wise self
like me
uncertainty sucks!
about as much fun as a wet pair of socks
i want real
and if you cannot fearlessly be your real self who wants me the same way i want you, sincerely, without doubt, well…………then you just don’t
and if i am not obviously the object of their undivided attention sexual desire, well, Biyatches………..i will know
although there was this guy one time i was with, who walked away, and after two fucking years, shows up standing in front of me, saying how he thought about me for over two years, and straight out says, “I want to be with you!”
he was hot too, fit perfectly in the black leather pants i custom made for his body, oh yeah, i wanted him too, but i was seeing someone else by that time, where you don’t just up and quit someone for another………although part of me wish i did………nah, he was too awkward, i made the correct choice………for me.
have not seen him around, maybe he moved back home………..
ok, tell me something…..
what is your favorite beach in the world?
does it have a huge white porch with flowering plants?
does the sun rise or set on the water?
do you like jogging on a beach barefoot?
ever ride a horse naked on a moon lit beach?
ever fuck on a horse slowly walking thru the water on a moon lit beach?
i love horses, my favorite animal
follow your heart to where it is leading you in oneness of each other, and you will find me there somewhere, smiling along to where God’s divine will objective is leading us all 2………..the divine true real self eternal all YOU
bless you all
bicurious stuckness?
hmmm……you think?
bicurious stuckUPness is more like it!
LOL
sorry……..could not resist sayin that……….well ok, im not sorry……….you are!
as in sorry pathetic sad sad sad the rest of your life without ‘me’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BIYATCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL
well, i guess i may as well be going, instead waiting as this bus terminal waiting even one more fucking day for you to arrive……and is not that really it, you are the one they are thinking of being with, or obviously they are distracted by some other love interest(s), not you, where at some point, you just stop waiting around with the dead fucking flowers in your hand for them to get off the bus.
ya ok, bye
or how about this, you imagine you being me, trying to convince yourself that i am actually interested in you, while you wait and wait at the bus terminal, wondering to yourself of any substance indication that justifies you yet standing there, feeling maybe it is more of your own overly active imagination, for whatever reason, as time passes, of a consistent no show appearance time and time again and again………at what point do you realize you have waited long enough, and just stop with it?
ok, i conceed, it was a ruse
but hey, im ok, and i will be just fine fucking whoever, in getting my sorry ass off this stupid bus terminal seat, and just go follow my heart with another and those like me, having had lots of experience already, knowing i will be just fine
just fine
i will be fine
ok fine
bye
lol
so is that it?
i want closure
i don’t want to think about it any more
uncertainty sucks!
fucking bullshit how people cannot tell you exactly where their thinking and feeling is in what they want and need.
i won’t play this any more
it’s not healthy to stay in stuckness that keeps you from moving on in life with someone who will be of 100% certainty love with you
i want closure
i want to be free
for sake of me
for sake of another
for sake of everyone
including you
so was i a mere curiousity, someone to occassionally pass the time with, an imaginary friend, an imaginary lover?
it is not healthy to keep holding out for someone
it has the potential to keep you from getting your needs met more with another lover, in growing thriving happiness where we belong.
clearly i do know what the kingdom of heaven constantly is, and i know i am not deficient as one who is 100% lovable and loving, everything one could ever hope for
i am not deficient in my wisdom of what i purely do know what the kingdom of heaven is, obviously
what i am deficient in, is my patience to hold out for someone who may just be playing a game, someone they can easily toss aside when they are done playing, someone who won’t be standing in front of me any time soon
we can talk about it if you want
but if there is no desire to move to the next level, i deserve to know where your thinking and feeling is at
and if you don’t want to talk about it, well, i will simply walk away and decide for you, in not allowing myself to revisit us again
closure
i want closure
and i am going to be of closure, with or without your input
if friends is all you want, then tell me that, ok?
be considerate of my mental emotional sexual well being in regarding closure
and your own well being as well
friends is fine, which is what i mostly have been all this time, and easily continue to be, but sexually, i want to know where i stand, where after a period of time waiting around, you begin to have serious doubts you will ever be with the partner of your desire.
i want to know, the sooner the better.
in truth, in not ever spent time with me physically, i don’t feel either of us are able to make a correct decision on closure
but to wait around
i cannot do that any more
and i won’t be waiting much longer
and if you want to be arrogantly inconsiderate in saying i am being to demanding, well, it is unrealistic for me to wait another year.
i know, i said the same thing last year, and perhaps you don’t take me serious at this time, but the truth is i am purely itching to find loving partner happiness i so easily am able to do, of reasonable good well being inner happiness i am currently of, in consistently being the oneness light happiness i wisely turn towards that is the happiness of loving partners.
it really comes down to your wants and needs, and i am not 100% certain where you are on that
seems you are interested, but without tangible real world substance indication of this in real life, well, you will find yourself without me coming around any more at some point, of my waning interest in walking away, freeing myself to be with someone who wisely is more mature in consideration of both themselves and another, in not leading them on to nowhere, like many players do.
been around long enough to know the difference.
if you just want to be friends…………i need to know
i have to get one with my inner happiness i already am of
ok?
thank you
you have till the end of this week, or i will decide for us both, in not allowing myself to ever revisit us again.
it’s been long enough, more than long enough
am i long enough?
lol
please
take some time out and resolve this within you, if there are any serious considerations you have of me beyond friendship
i don’t feel i am being too forward, where i am ready for someone new………obviously
ya i may be HIV positive, but it really is not that significant an issue phyically for me, functioning not much different than before, with a slight difference in feeling.
ok, thank you
make no mistake, this is it for me
wow
you really have a way of making someone feel even remotely worthy of your time………..
i get it, you have a few classes of wine, stop by here from time to time, and just say whatever you want, then wake the next day, oh, did i say that?
as you roll over and kiss whoever you are fucking
ya, ok, i get it now
Saturday midnight is my stepping off time
if i don’t here from you before then, i will conceed in accepting us as nothing more than friends, at a local club with all the girls, and not looking back, setting myself physically mentally emotionally sexually spiritually free to purely entertain 100% a lover partner who maturely KNOWs who is compatible for them, as do i.
closure
i have to do this
my mental emotional depends on my affirmative healthy decision making respectful of my wants and needs, respectful of making myself purely available for my future partner, respectful of you, respectful of everyone.
it’s bin fun
really
i love wearing wet socks around
not
thank you for your respect and understanding
most would be thrilled, jumping up and down to have an opportunity with me…………im not feeling that from you
perhaps it’s best we just stay friends
i like high energy certainty without doubt
with you, your lacking zeal, it feels like i am someone you think about from time to time, while with another, where i am not your absolute #1 potential partner love interest.
seriously, so many would start crying on the spot, to have an opportunity with me.
and where are you?
too busy to even both to say hi?
i would not do that to someone, i would sit down immediately with them in hearing the telling me they want to be with me, and talk thru it with them as to what i too may be feeling, my availability, my decision to say, ya sure, let’s explore this together, the whole sex thing, spend quality time in assurance oneness fun and happiness exploration.
how often does someone come along who is completely focused on you as a potential lover partner?
and when the moment passes and they are gone, the moment is gone forever, as everyone moves on
this is one such moment in my life
you have till Saturday to at least indicate something, you know, a dinner date, anything tangible assuring for me, you know, considerate of what i am feeling right now?
if not, i will take that is a definate uninterest, where if someone is not interested in you, right from the start, they most likely won’t be later.
anyway, that’s all i have to say
so don’t lead me on any more, i don’t want to hear that any more
a simple yes to a dinner date, a day together, whatever you want to do in exploring us further
the blog thing is over for me now
time to move on
seriously, after Saturday, if you came and stood in front of me, i would look at you, and then i would walk around you and say, “ya right, what, you got nothing better to do today than come and toy with me?”
………and keep on walking
what part of ‘love devoid of doubt’ in the kingdom of heaven, do you not understand? uhm?
you like playing this mind game?
ya well, you will be playing it alone after Saturday
if you feel i am being unrealistic, well, that is all i need to hear in walkin on down the road, yes?
say anything derogatory that is not in the direction i am going, and you can enjoy watching me walk on down the road………with another eventually.
hello?
anyone there?
oh, im sorry, who are you?
did not know you two were still fucking, my mistake, sorry, i thought i was here most beloved, my mistake.
im not with anyone, & yes let’s do dinner or spend the day (night) together talk laugh
so when are you available,
how about thursday
night day
whatever is convenient for you
your still my number 1
im not playing a mind game, im shy because i like you , you scare me too …
come on , lets get this sorted .. imagine how much fun & laughter we can have if we both stop being silly and just be relaxed and normal together,,
tomorrow ok …
🙂
or even tonight ???
why wait ..
life’s too short
just dont look so sexy next time ok ..
you get me too excited ,.. i panic
ha
about fucking time!
sheeshhhhh!
are you making fun of my bedhead hair and not shaving disheveled look, or do you like the look?
i like the look, sorta like my life has been…….
no, you are too short and you still have that same complex as before that occassionally resurfaces, you vulnerable self, the real one, the one i love, nurture and seek to protect from unwise others
ha
ok, any time is fine
i just needed to know if you were serious or being your usual playful self………i can only watch someone prance around in front of me, going from guy to guy to……WHOA!!!! who the fuck is that one?…….for so long, naturally so, where you start to wonder if they even think of you at all still standing there, wondering when they are going to wake the fuck up and realize who really does purely constantly love you 100%
and always wanted 2
ya, it’s true
butt how was i to know heteros like the same thing homos do?
so what am i then, hetero or homo?
how about a homo incognito as a homo?
or how about what i purely am?
bisexual
or how about what Jesus says, when you make yourself neither male or female, butt one and the same?
and is that not purely what you and i have come to realize?
alright, pick a time, whenever, just don’t stand me up this time!
alone, i can’t do the social crowd thing just yet.
i will return later this evening………
bless you always
oh oh……..i’ve got this walking on air feeling again……..skip skip………
how about no labels and just keep them all guessing androgenous looking us dressed up in whatever all the time, of them constantly wondering which one is which, and, “Is that a girl or a guy?”
oh, that sounds like fun, BE CAUSE……..it is fun!
fun fun fun fun!
none stop
especially the sex!
oh you just wait till i ……………………..you’ll see, and you will love me even more……….and more and more and more…………should we take a break?
NO!!!!!!
not yet
LOL
ok, pick a time and place, and i will appear BE four you! 😉
yeah!
i got that sweet lover anticipation feeling back again!
mmmmm……….i live for this feeling
what living constantly is, yes?
you know that magical anticipation feeling during the day of clothes coming off, and then the magic when they actually do come off?
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
something tells me im into something im into something good!
hey, they got the words wrong in this song, should be something tells me im into someONE good!
hehe
oh fuck, im late for my appointment
BE back later!
love
the only way to constantly ALL-ways BE!
LOL 😉
Revolver – @ 8
Revolver?
what and where is that?
a film company? a club?
people are their own worse enemies when it comes to cultivating and turning towards BEing what is their own divine self-awareness wisdom…….
i know i make a sincere honest authentic genuine concerted effort to stay in the my self-actualize zone, physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, spiritually…….
however, when someone like my ex says something like, “I was happier all last year when you were not around.”
well, i slow into my discerning after the fact, but during the confrontation with his false ego self, i wanted to say, “no, you were happier when i was deliberately not around by my own choice of an established boundary with you, so as not to allow you as frequent an opportunity for your false ego self protecting mask need of a control freak shit for brains mentality to belittle me like you did prior and yet again continue to do, in your aimless attempt to subconsciously resolve where i am wanting to be physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, which is as far away from you as i can possibly get when ever you think and feel you can tread on me in your need for control.
perhaps i am correct, he subconsciously senses my not being happy around him
which means i am to blame for where i chose to yet be physically……..
instead i said, you cannot keep treading on me like this, i won’t allow it………which just intensified his subconscious seeking of where the line is with me, as i went quiet and chose not to fuel his raging any further, of pointless unresolve transference abreaction manifestation.
i cannot be purely centered and grounded in my pure calm inner self around someone who is of this kind of continous behavioral that is seemingly impossible for him to stop.
i used to keep track daily at one point of how many times he spoke down to me daily
i embrace his behavioral purely in the light of manifesting unresolve, and i have concluded our contact with one another is unhealthy for both of us, as i did last year, optimistic he was healthier………my guess is he is seeing someone else, in his frequent being away all day and night from the house, calling and telling me he is out with friends.
ya right
anyway, i needed him during my acute infection phase, or so i thought, of severe brain chemical imbalance change i experienced like i did, which has subsided now, and yes, it was a severe change, which brought on severe anxiety so much so my hands were trembling, along with all the other severe body response, vomiting from both ends of my body, the weakness, no appetite, blackouts, really bad stuff, the kind of thing that warrants a hospital stay.
i am still in the acute infection phase, that my pro team says everyone is abit different in how long it lasts. Yesterday i think they did every possible body test they have at the hospital, of five hours, three floors, a dozen professionals all attending to me
anyway, i am feeling better, but i know i am not as healthy a place i could, should and eventaully will be, physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, spiritually.
these transistions in life really sucks, giving you a true sense of what the meaning of purgatory feels like
therapist tells me to find the exit door and step thru it, where i will be grateful after i do………i did that last year, so perhaps i need to get back to a healthy autonomy living on my own, ex makes me feel like i am a burden, which i know is his own low-self esteem manifestations from the train wreck we both came thru, do the friendship thing from a distance, with councelling, where i don’t want to see him fall thru the cracks, and perhaps it is time we simply end it and move on, where he does seem to be happier and well adjusted now with his new found freedom i gave him last year, of being a year apart.
even with couples, they say couples who live independant of each other(no co-dependance) in seperate quarters, do statistically have greater longevity and happiness.
even though i was not ever co-dependant with my ex, the mental abuse is still there, of his healing, not only of our(my) financial train wreck, but also of his unresolved unhealed childhood past, a horrific one at that.
was hoping you were serious about some time together today, or when ever, but then i realize i am not emotionally well at this point, and my smoking does not help, so perhaps another six months of my taking 100% charge of my own well being is in order and we catch up with one another when i am feeling healthier, beyond however long this acute infection phase may last.
yes?
we all have or wants and needs to be met on a consistent regular basis, and at this tender moment in time for both of us, maybe now is not such a good time? Although i suspect you are in far better a place physically emotionally than i am.
at least i am not aimless in self-awareness
no, i am purely tuned into what is happening with me emotionally at all times, in each passing moment.
i feel best when i am away from my ex, always like i am when ever i come here to an internet cafe, no hurry to be any particular place, time to my self, my favorite Starbucks tea, breath easy, relax, chill out, cry if i need to, sort it out as you say.
i cannot pretend i am happy with my ex when the truth is he is of his shortsighted smallness belittling condescending manifestation behavioral that he is utterly clueless about, all subconscious stuckness.
i say, when you allow them to continue with their behavior without saying it is not ok for you to speak to me that way, firmly, then you are part of the problem.
when you feel like running away, that is a strong indicator that you are not happy in your present circumstances, yes?
anyway, thought i would clear the air with exactly where i am today, and what i am processing thru as regards others, what friends are for, being honest as our true real self, without fear of recrimination.
we are after all, flawless feeling divine children of God born into the yet unwise motherfucking bullshit spiritually dead fucked world, are we not?
~
i was thinking last night, after watching American Idol, of the subconscious awakening of Lee in his moment of victory.
just what is victory for Lee, spiritually speaking?
is he about fame and fortune?
well, spiritually wise enlightened ones know otherwise, of what is really occuring deep within them
where people like Madonna and myself are cognitively aware spiritually, both in divine self-awareness feeling, as well as divine self-awareness wisdom.
one merely need ask a simple question, “Is Lee of spiritually of wise divine self-awareness wisdom COGNITIVE PRIORITY in his wise approach with the unwise world?
subconsciously, yes, of course he is
but cognitively?
not really
Jesus says, “what you bring forth from within you is able to save (the real) you.”
“what you turn towards(wise divine self-discerning of real you or false you), you become, at all times.”
“where your heart is(wise divine self-discerning real you or false you), there too is your treasure and your life(obvious), at all times.”
‘that’ is where everyone purely exactly are at any given moment along their blessed divine self-awareness wisdom awakening divine life, at all times, past, present, future of the eternal all you
bless you all with divine self-awareness certainty love devoid of doubt oneness with Jesus, of God’s divine will for eternal all you
at all times
so there you have it, i cannot be around those who are not of spiritual well being consideration of me, environmentally speaking
it is not possible for my divine self-happiness to thrive in consistently negative belittling environments
and no, i am not doing anything to aggrevate this, my ex has low self-esteem manifesting control issues, always did, annoying mostly, in my overlooking for years, but now i have outgrown my past tolerance, where i purely realize i cannot get and stay centered in my exceedingly gracefully calm pure divine self.
it is not possible
i have to leave
is that the kind of sorting you are talking about, among other issues?
starts and stops with my mental powers, and my emotional boundary sensing barometer
clearly, i am not aimless
i don’t even feel angry at anyone, of a pure fascination from the wise perspective i see with clarity, actually sad for those who are gripped by manifesting behavioral, but as for enjoying that?
no
nobody does
nor will i
i know my true self well, and i know i cannot continue to tolerate like i did before, and to be sure, i won’t, where i don’t have much optimism in my ex changing, as evident he is yet in healing mode.
not a bad thing
but for me, it is sorta like hanging out with a drunk all the time, until such a time as the running away feelings take over that you can no longer simply ignore, no matter how vast your mental powers are.
if i had to chose between my ex to be around daily and Jesus, who do you suppose i would chose?
and no, that is not a size queen question, although i often wonder how big a penis Jesus had
LOL
so, what are you up to today?
wanna go for dinner sometime and find out if just how compatible we may be for one another?
likely inseperable once we start…………
perhaps beyond our own awareness at this time
you know, fucking happy 24/7, like one continuous stone, where you cannot stop smiling, of your face muscles that hurt from smiling all the time
ya, that’s what i want
‘that’ is what i am
and so are you
all of you
bless you always
i say this, it is of God’s divine will that i am learning about the divine child of us all
at all times, where ever i am, i am constantly in divine my divine self higher subtle intellect awareness, discerning of those who are of aimlessness like most any are, no one it seems who are of cognitive priority certainty in their divine self-awareness constantly BEing, like so many of the fucked ego world out there, especially these fat cats down town, my God i think to myself, these ones are so snared by their cog in the wheel of the worldly blindness binding generational accepted unwiseness asleep in ignorance, they seem impossible to ever change.
Jesus did say the business ones are the most unreachable
and clearly i feel thru the truth of that
although i was a student who became fascinated with math and science, still am abit, but to live like they do, no way.
i love my spiritual art work coming forth into the unwise world.
my destiny
my calling
my feelings
my mental
my sexual
my spiritual
my physical
my ‘real’ divine self
anyway, in no way do i want to even remotely be a burden to anyone, nor can i spiritually speaking
fearlessly purely sharing as our divine ‘real’ self is what is of the only conducive environment for either of us, for any of us, at all times.
i am wisely looking in the right direction, thankful to Jesus, Mary, God and all you who are wisely awake in divine self-awareness wisdom priority as i am
i pray my words dispell any fears you may have, if indeed you are considering ‘us’
i always considered ‘us’ all these years
was always fearful that i was not good enough
which turned out to be a blessed way to feel, as it kept me focused in my extensive study
ya, i really am mental, seemingly all mental, even my therapist accuses me of that, in not allowing myself to feel, and yet slowly, i let myself feel, where in truth, i have been avoiding allowing myself to feel the negative environment as being non-conducive for me, to the extent i have to accept i cannot stay, avoidance.
at all times, we are the pure flawless divine child of God constantly feeling
everyone is of the blessed divine child feeling
i don’t want to hurt the feelings of my ex
i don’t want to burden anyone wrongly
and yet i too still have foolish stuckness manifesting behavioral abreactions, so tiresome, so much a waste of time, take the higher road of assertiveness, no more time for passive aggressive behaviorals, unless they are in a full leather body suit having bondage sex with me
lol
i am not a rebound, am i?
i feel i am more of a bound for destiny, not a rebound
for sure your pure flawless feeling energy is so amazing, where obviously my feeling that of you, means i too am moving towards my healthier future self, am i not?
and i do feel you know more about what has been and is yet happening to me, more than you let on.
i want always to feel happy
and so do you
we all do
for that is the true nature of the divine child of God eternal all you
blessed is the constant feeling divien child of God eternal all you
at all times
i had a sad moment the other day, pointing my ex to look upwards of the massive 300 year old tree we were standing on, purely feeling it’s unwavering presence, as i reflected on a possible future of him standing there without me, doing the same thing, feeling his loving memory feelings of me, as a tear streamed down my face, in his asking me what’s wrong, his having no idea i was thinking about having already left him.
and still i cry at the thought of him being without me in the future
and i don’t know how to deal with that
they call it, abandonment guilt, professionally speaking
with you, i am still not getting anything concrete of tangilbe real world meeting you
and so i speculate that you are not as ready as perhaps you would like to be
understandable i suppose, where i am concerned, given everything about me
what i think we both fear is success of happiness we may discover for ourselves once we do arrive in fearlessly exploring potential thriving happiness together in the real world
~
we enter into this world, and for me, i purely mentally and emotionally explore what is of my spiritual destiny as relates to the well being of others, as the single most important part of my life, for sake of myself first, and what Jesus says, “It is thru light that light exists.”
it is thru divine self evoking mirroring light that light continues to exist, of flawless pure feeling divine self-awareness awakening of others.
the end goal according to God’s divine will?
holy joyful absolute carefree happiness
the true nature of the divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of eternal all you
i am 100% without doubt of this, inspite of my own dreaded stuckness i currently yet am of, that makes me cry daily in not being where i purely constantly always belong, of the valley of spiritual death i walk thru environmental of the unwise others i seem to allow myself to contend with, that stifles my divine true spirited ‘real’ self.
so who is to blame?
i am
for sure, i want need think feel tangilbe divine self ‘real’ flawless graceful true feelings(heaven) of my own self, of clarity certainty love devoid of doubt i belong with and want need think feel tangible divine self -real flawless graceful true feelings(heaven) of another
fearlessness of us both that comes with wise conducive divine self wisdom in constant preferredness in just BEing our SELF
i pray that helps you in your final decision of meeting me
and if not, well, that is purely for you to decide, where i cannot expect that of you, and don’t want to be of the tiresome wondering expectation of you doing so, no, rather i want need think feel best when another is purely of their own genuine sincere authentic emotionally honest divine ‘real’ self as my own in doing so, purely of obvious natural occuring at ease true ‘real’ you of us both
im ok, i still have my own place to return to, so no worries, i will be fine, come what may
and i am wise, obviously
praying the same for you
all of you
thank you and God blesses you at all times, even of you who may not know God is present at all times, of indirect/direct/affect/effect thru light(divine self-awareness wisdom) that light exists of eternal all you, past present eternal future of the obvious truth of our one generation where none escape truth, although many there are, have been and shall be those who are blind to divine self-awareness truth, and the generational stiffling darkness ignorance untruths that yet grip our current times, in what is yet of all death, destruction and oppression, the exact same death, destruction and oppression of the past learned behaviorals, is it not?
what eternal all you can expect to see and feel for sometime to come, as we all subconsciously/consciously constantly always do, of every blessed day the same eternal day light trying to become unbound, shining forth into the eternal future that is constantly always just right there, in every blessed moment by blessed moment, hear in the kingdom of heaven all around us
blessings to all
forever more
let me know of a real life location you want to meet someday, any day is fine……….all the same day to ‘me’, although BEing with you in the physical realm, im not sure if i could handle BEing constantly happy ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
hmmm……then again, maybe i can, in constant oneness sameness as you?
sounds like heaven to ‘me’! 😉
let me know, ok?
i don’t enjoy the stiffling uncertainty we yet are of, nor do you.
although understandable………….
a simple question…..
how much fun is one able to ever possibly have only of a blog?
ok then
no doubt then where happiness of either of us is, in the real world, with each other, with another and others.
you decide
i am ok with what you decide
just decide at some point though, ok?
as in real life tangible meeting decide of yes or no…….
i am not asking too much here
indeed, asking of anything less is to not be interested, is it not?
however long is fine, and what will be will be, regardless of what i may want need think feel and pray for where you are concerned.
but if you were me, how long would you wait for tangible real certainty with someone?
about five minutes, right? 😉
uncertainty stiffles our divine self
i know Jesus Mary and God constantly loves me, purely so at all times, where when others don’t, well, i don’t necessarily think it is something wrong with me, and merely of another not purely knowing me as well as they could, praying they would, fearlessly, at ease in doing so, where what feels good to me, is the constant sense of their love for me, in each blessed tender graceful pure flawless feeling moment, especially of my hands do i feel this blessed wholeness oneness feeling with Jesus, Mary, God and the divine self of true fearless real others like we do.
bless you always
i admit, i did sorta expect you would not give me an exact time and a place to meet
where my sorting things out mentally is the reason why?
is that the sorting out you were talking about?
as for my ex, there is nothing to sort out, other than my desire to being out for good, having grown tired of his consistent mental abuse, his own lacking mental fortitude weakness inconsideration of others, not realizing he is his abusive past father with me at times……….actually, more like all the time
i wish for just one day i can get thru without one single belittling mind fuck on his part.
there are low self-esteemers, and then there is my ex
i empathize
but i also empathize for every single abuser on the planet, does not mean i will ever enjoy being around them, nor does anyone enjoy them.
behold, the eternal binding one generation unwise children of God
that is until Jesus reveals the eternal day light unceasion eternal day divine self-awareness wisdom light thru light(of others) that light exists(here in the eternal future of eternal all yet to come).
blessed blessed blessed blessed peace grace love and happiness BE to you
it’s kinda sad, and really sucks, to consistently feel more at ease among complete strangers…….
why i am here
why i enjoy being out and about
anywhere but going back in expecting more of the same mental abuse
argh…….i dread transistions like this in life, knowing inevitably what has to happen, in ditching their ass
and what of you who say you want to meet me
and don’t?
a blessing i have Jesus Mary and God as my best friends in life, yes?
always there for me
without fail
unable to fail
is the divine truth of the true nature of the wise eternal divine child of God
holy holy holy holy peace grace love happiness to all
blessings to all
cowards
i look at it this way, of all you who look apon me as though a joke, in not purely knowing and loving ‘me’ the way Jesus Mary and God do, where it is your own life that is a true reflection of what you think and feel of as you, not true of ‘me’, not true of divine true real self ‘me’ of you, in all you say and do.
the falsehoods are evil in this world, are they not?
death, destruction, oppression, is what is of all falsehood learned behavioral
the split up the gay couple sentence to 14 years of hard labor
the gay couple knew prior to coming out they would be arrested and sentenced they way they were, in standing up as holy blessed gay activists for all homosexuals past present eternal future.
truly, at all times, they are blessed, and they should be freed, and yet, they are already purely free in their heart mind body spirit and soul, are they not?
what the kingdom of heaven constantly is
they are constantly a blessing for this yet horrid unwise world bound in the generational dark captivity ignorances of the forefathers.
and if one day your own shit for brains horrid fire greets you fuckheads with the same fire you turn towards, seeking the same, well………..
such is the nature of the beast of ignorance past present future
what you all can expect to come, truth of untruth that has already come, all around you
bless you all
It is thru light that light exists
at all times
what you turn towards you become
at all times
where your heart is there too is your treasure and your life
at all times
do not do what you do not enjoy
at all times
what you look for has already come
at all times
bless you all with truth peace grace love happiness true nature of your divine child of God within eternal all you
at all times
forever more
at all times
it is a question of the generational forefather deathful destructive oppressive binding in dark horrific captivities of the divine unwise child of God thruout the world, past present eternal future.
‘that’ is what is constantly of this fucked world
not a single one of you purely wake each blessed day to the life of either of these gay guys of a 14 year hard labor sentence intentionally seperated from one another, yet not ever purely seperated are they ever able to be
not a single one of you will be spared the apathetic cruel shit for brains you constantly chose to remain as you are of the same fire that will greet you one day, of a fucked world not worth saving, so long as a child is born to suffer your horrid evil captivity ways that every homosexual the world over knows full well in every blessed day we wake to
i would kill all of you if i had the power to do so
without hesitation
already you are spiritual all fucking dead, not knowing purely that you truly are
so what is there of burning fire of your bodies that would change anything?
so long as these two remain of the harsh world reality check of forefather ignorance taboo oppression, i request of God to burn you all in holy fire that you seek
what is a single one of you doing each day in seeking freedom of these two blessed gay activists? uhm?
legally?
politically?
say what you have to politically say like most any of you do, but what are any of you doing to free them? uhm?
so long as they remain as they yet are, i pray fire to this world of forefather generational bound dark captivity to burn every single one of you bound in ignorance apathetic fucks led astray from purely know the constant pure love these two wisely constantly are, which none of you come even remotely close to measuring up to like you egotistically think you do
you do not
you are doing nothing, are you not?
say the correct political thing to say so as the world sees you in the politically correct light, but that is it for your shithead efforts, is it not?
they deserve 100% of the world’s attention in each passing moment, and until they are freed, i will remain purely loathing of the world as a whole of this reality check shit for brains point in human history, where no one is worthy of even the food they eat or the air they freely breath, so long as you remain unattending of their horrific seperation plight you all apathetically turn away from
truly, none of the horrid apathy you ALL constantly remain as from this day forward are worthy of saving from the damnation you already all are
i pray God to destroy all of you
and look, already you are all the empty broken vessels of nothingness lurking apon my child that i do not wish to give birth to, so as to watch you all demonise my blessed child, like so many of you do each blessed day
how much do you suppose i purely despise this ugly world?
so much so, i do not wish to give birth to my own child, where so long as these two gay guys remain held in captivity of the generational taboo shit for brains fuckhead ignorance captivity, i will not give birth to my own child
that’s how much i constantly purely despise so many of you who are not worthy of the food you eat or the air you breath
from this day forward i will remain loyal to these two, and my own divine child i won’t allow to be born, only to suffer such wretchedness i bare witness to daily like i do
i have only one request of any of you
what are you doing in this moment and from this moment on, to free these two?
i have no desire to speak with any of you unless you are onboard with constant effort free them
why bother?
death
destruction
oppression
to all of you
already most of you do not know you already constantly are what you apathetically are in each passing blessed moment, are you not?
there is nothing any of you are doing that is of any value greater than seeking their freedom, for sake of your own divine self in doing so
that is the mystery of the kingdom of heaven that obviously eludes the aimless plodding along without a wise helmsman of most any of your arrogant self serving shit for brains fucks i purely constantly despise like i do daily
rightFULLy so
already you are evil hell fire damnation, not deserving of anything, are you not?
do you care at all in devotion to these two?
are any of you of earnest diligent dedicated determined devoted work in seeking their freedom?
this year’s pride, i will be politically correctly wearing binding handcuffs on my hands and feet with chains between, a reality check reflection of all you who stand along side doing absolutely fucking nothing out of concern for these two, or for sake of your own children one day
ya, i despise this wretched fucked world
obviously
with every clank of the chains, you can hear me so in purely being who these two are!
reflection of the unwise taboo generational
death
destruction
oppression
TRUTH
of so many of you who will feel who i am in oneness of these two
so say what you want to say, where if not of concern for these two, i have nothing to say to any of you any more
why should i bother?
of so many of you in your seemingly spiritually deaf self serving ears?
do you care?
no you do not
not of you so long as you wake without doing anything that seeks their freedom
so help me God i will bring this shit for brains world to it’s knees, begging forgiveness for that which is not forgivable
forever more
this is who i purely constantly am and have been since you all ostracized the love of Troy and Andy into the death destruction and oppression i have walked wisely thru among the blindness of so many of you yet blind and bound in horrific taboo captivity forefather ignorances of all you who did and do not know God, nor desire to know God, as evident you do not know desire to know your own divine self, in all you say and do
at all times
and what of you Madonna, besides your political correct speech?
what are you doing this day, in this moment for sake of their freedom?
that’s right
nothing
you can join them as well then, until such a time as you come out of apathetic gay history disconnectedness
no point talking about anything if you do not wish to assist in their freedom, even while they spiritually already are free from this mind fuck shit for brains deathful destructive oppressive evil world
death to all falsehood
has already come
indeed, it is the death, destruction and oppression we purely constantly see at all times, of these evil falsehoods, is it not?
GOD’s ETERNAL TRUTH FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and yes, most of you are spiritually fucking dead!
OBVIOUSLY
let’s just see where your loyalty is, shall we?
bring me news of their release one day, so that i may purely truthfully embrace your loyalty for LGBT community
if you are doing nothing, then you are just as those who hold them captive, are you not?
everyday they wake, and they feel the horrific falsehood of the taboo forefather ignorances, do they not?
every waking moment they feel it, yes?
i cannot turn away from them, ever!
nor shall i
i hold the entire world responsible as a whole for the reality check perpetuation of these vile evil forefather ignorances, where without doubt, so many of you purely truly are spiritual death destruction oppression EVIL
are you not?
do you not realize all apathy inconsidertion of these two, is not of the oneness same contribution of the evil forefather taboo deathful destructive oppression?
truly, it is!
at all times!
and that is the TRUTH!
i question the existence of every single soul i pass by in life
at all times
light shines forth from those who shine r of light
those who do not, are what is of all darkness
eternal truth no one escapes from
i ask, what are you doing in this moment?
besides nothing!
i grow weary of the aimless empty mindlessness of so many of this world all around me, of what light or darkness they all are
standing in observation in eternal day awareness of time standing still knowingness witnessing to the empty void of most as though robotic ring master slaves
it bores me to no end!