This may sound corny, but I don’t care. I don’t know what I’d do without my friend Gwyneth. She has been there for me through all of this latest scandal surrounding me. I was so happy to see her in New York. She’s been helping me in so many ways. We were just just joking around yesterday singing, “Keep smiling, keep shining…knowing you can always count on me…for sure…that’s what friends are for!” I am so frustrated with all of the lies and rumours about my life. My attorneys have sent a warning letter to Mrs. Rodriguez’s attorneys. One more comment about me and their firm will be facing a defamation lawsuit. I don’t play around! I hope you are having a better week than I am having. Oh…I almost forgot. I have been working with Britney on a special project. She has made so much progress. I cannot wait for you to see it! It’s da bomb!
Filed under: The Queen's Updates
Everyone needs Best Friends, hence why their called such because they are their for you when needed and vice-versa! I am so glad you are blogging again, I have missed them! I will be seeing you in Atlantic City in November, I can not wait!!!
Love you, M!
Hi M,
) from the beginning…and now you’re so mature…I mean mentally 
we know very well that all this shit about you is a lie. Don’t worry…we still love you more than ever!!! You’re a fantastic person…not only the Queen of Pop!!!!
I’ve been your fan (ventilateur
See you in Rome at the Stadio olimpico!
We really love you.
PS: sorry for my english
Yep!
I totally agree and I love your way to move !!
Thank you for making my day and have a power of jump for transforming week.
Much love and shine the light on your life and power of blessing,
Love ya,
you think you are having a rough week…you should try being me.
i just stepped out of a 12 year relationship today, the last day.
some moments i am smiling, other times i am crying, then uncertainty grips me as i take a deep breath and sigh relief, recalling that i deserve only love at all times. Fortunate for me, i have had many loving relationships in life for me to easily recall of how my (divine) true self has shined brightly in loving relationships, and not so brightly in relationships i unwisely entered into, of my not slowing down into loving grace of my (divine) true self to feel loving of the lover i hurriedly got involved with for all the wrong reasons….ya, i admit, Thanh and i started out as a convienent relationship to stave off being alone, of me being a care giver.
i am not saying it was a bad one, not at all, in fact it was exceedingly pleasant most of the time, but we just did not connect at the loving lover lever that anticipates seeing our lover, or at least i didn’t. i don’t see this as something bad of me, and rather sadly made myself unavailable for the one who is my loving lover.
my new walking alone has brought this fully into my awareness of the graceful tender loving feelings i am once again feeling, fear left behind, stepped thru the door, out walking alone in the ghetto, my new single life.
a friend just bringing you up to speed on how my week is going. definitely emotional, yet a powerful loving feeling of now being free to greet the soul mate i pray for to one day hug, kiss, hold hands with and run down the street in exceeding joy with, of the loving tender feelings so graceful within that you don’t want to ever stop feeling, married of course, with eyes only for each other…for sure, i will not settle for less than the tender graceful loving caress of another and they with me, of sincere loving tenderness with each other, each and ever single day we awake, of smiling joyfulness that reaches tenderly for their hand to hold.
oh, why is this so hard for me…i hope i am feeling less anxiety by the week’s end.
i am sitting in an internet cafe crying listening to this video.
thanks M.
for sure, an excellent video and song for such a special day that today is for me. You have no idea how much i need this today.
God blesses us with sicerely feeling our tender loving feelings, like i do for you.
i love you M. thank you for that.
love forever more, ‘that’s what we are M.
we all need a good cry once in while, reconnecting with our love that is sincerely true of us, as i my hand grip tightly like before.
without doubt, sincerely we love Britney.
just as she does us.
‘that’s what matters most in everyone’s life, always of love we feel for one another.
Good day Madonna!
I’ve been hearing rumors that Mrs. Rodriguez is a “gold digga” and she seems to be using you as her golden excuse to divorce the ball player. It is nice that your awesome friend is helping you get through this. And glad to know that you have your attorneys ready to attack any further lies.
Did you get my message yesterday about a costume that I had designed for you approx. 20 years ago? It is such a simple yet screaming timeless design. Let me know if you would like to have it shipped.
Twenty years ago, I was a 30 year old stay-at-home mom living in New Hampshire with two sons (8 yr. and 4 yr. old) and I had time in the evenings to be creative. Last year my husband and I moved to Maine … our sons are now grown and living on their own … and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I unpacked a few boxes the other day and found YOUR costume! It brought back fond memories of the days when I and everyone else in the world enjoyed listening to Madonna songs. And through the years I have enjoyed seeing the new generations become Madonna fans. You have a great gift … I am so amazed that you keep sharing your talents even after having your own family.
I am sharing a recent photo of my oldest son’s wedding …I am standing next to my son.
Sincerely,
Gloria
P.S.
My mother love Brittany! I hope the best for her.
Good for Gweneth, she is obviously living the right way and really cares about herself and you. That is what a true friend is all about, caring about someone else other then yourself…You have always been so supportive of friends and family, and even when they have let you down, you always stood there with an ear open. Other people wouldn’t give a shit, you do and that is what matters.. I knew Britney would make a comeback, and its nice to see you give a shit about Britney, see, friendship is contagious…
…it’s not corny, it shows you are a regular person with feelings……hang in there, you have many wellwishers xxx
It is sad that they are trying to get you to divorce your husband. I do notice though that these rumors do come up when you are going on a tour, perhaps because you will be kind of seperated from your husband for a long time and perhaps becuse you need to focus on your work.
yunno, i didn’t like gwennie when she came out, but she has grown on me and think she’s a cutie! i loved her iron man movie, the stewardess move, possesion, the karoke movie, shallow hal, that thing she did no snl, destiny3 of fate3, she’s great. it’s always nice to have that best bud who you know you can always turn too. as far as those tabloid pix, it’s great to see you on more magazine covers! (hahaha) i wish it could help the give it 2 me radio play, oh well, i love u girl!
well she is a scorned woman
i feel bad for her
he is a man who made a lot of money
and they say money is the root of all evil
and then their marriage went down hill
they were together along time
it is a shame
however, divorce is over way before you go to court
she needs others to blame.
again, we all know he is way hot…
gwenith is so sweet and kind
you can see it right through her face.
incredible actress as well
just a joke though
i would never name my daughter apple
monica
i mean not a joke but you know a comment
but to each their own
but hey in todays world anything goes
I get you sister
We love you in Romania!!!!
whats wrong with people , why can’nt madonna
put her career first that’s who she is, she an artist, teacher, angel, it’s jealousy every one is just jealous, even her brother,(just read something he said) well at least Lola her cute daughter is wise, she’s proud of her mum, she said so in that confession’s video, Jealous Moron’s… for God’s sake women fought alongside men in the second world war and still managed to grow up a family with lot’s of kid’s.
ok i’ve vented, sorry M
i just see things for what they are..
did i mention, JUDGEMENTAL ?
NO !
well i should have ..
I love you ….no matter what they say!! Hoping that all gonna be ok….give them a kick on their asses…you are my sunshine!!!
kisses
Everybody who knows U, knows that this smear is nothing U havn’t faced AND conquered be4.
Look at the positive — U started to blog again.
Is not THAT wonderfull.
I WILL START TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR GO TO YOUR SHOW!!!!COME TO HONG KONG!!!!PLEASE!!!^O^
I LOVE NEW YORK,HING UP,LA ISSA BONITA,LUCKY STAR,SORRY,JUMP,LIKE A VINGIN……..4 MIN MADONNA FT JUSTIN TIMEBERLAKE………………………..
ARE GREAT SONGS!!!
Good songs but not for right now :
VOGUE
LA ISLA BONITA
HUNG UP
MUSIC
HOLIDAY
A totally new remix of Causing a commotion can be great !
Britney is a sweetie,
I only have 3 real friend’s but they mean more to me then 1000 more, one girl she know’s who she is and one guy and he know’s who he is. their the best, and rachel cartwright who i’ve never met but she’s the best too, i know because she’s real.
Hi M!!I belive in you and in your marriage..But do you really want to work again with Britney??However I can understand you about friends..I have not so much friends, but fortunatly I have a lovley boyfriend that love me..I’d belive in friendship but I had bad experiences with friends, so I prefer to speak with my mum..She’s like my best firend..She’s young so she can understand what I feel..
Glad to see you back. Keep up the good work. I bought 2 HARD CANDY cd and one of i gifted to my best friend on his birthday.
Marco, on July 11th, 2008 at 9:18 am Said:
I only have 3 real friend’s but they mean more to me then 1000 more, one girl she know’s who she is and one guy and he know’s who he is. their the best, and rachel cartwright who i’ve never met but she’s the best too, i know because she’s real
and only 3…have u even metthem???and rachel??a 13 yr old .be careful hon….
you think you are having a rough week…you should try being me.
i just stepped out of a 12 year relationship today, the last day.
some moments i am smiling, other times i am crying, then uncertainty grips me as i take a deep breath and sigh relief, recalling that i deserve only love at all times. Fortunate for me, i have had many loving relationships in life for me to easily recall of how my (divine) true self has shined brightly in loving relationships, and not so brightly in relationships i unwisely entered into, of my not slowing down into loving grace of my (divine) true self to feel loving of the lover i hurriedly got involved with for all the wrong reasons….ya, i admit, Thanh and i started out as a convienent relationship to stave off being alone, of me being a care giver.
andy nowhere in you rlong long unending ramblings across atwo year period have u ever mentioned a relationship??yes??no!! youre an attention seeking sad individual..personal shit displayed on various fake websites all to do and to achieve?i truly beleive you hav elost all your marbles…all your stabilty and truthfullness have given way long ago .i think you are lost inyour ownlies and sad tragic fantasies…i may write a blog and screen play with you inmind ..it would probably screen at the local mental asylum..half price
ms bitch of course i’ve met them i’ve know one for 8 yrs and the other since 1995, i have not met rachel , but i’m no deviant so why should i need to be careful because she’s 13, its all innocent she has boyfriend silvio , i think your thinking in a perverted way …
whatever ms. anan retentive bitch!
keep smiling.
love is not fake for me.
you are old and a has been, and you should of never accepted and enticed alex rodrieguez, you are not very well liked in the sports field, you should here what the men say, yes men the people you try to seduce with your hard candy. you are an old joke, grow up keep your religion to yourself and stay the hell out of insecure peoples lives. alex has a crush on you and how did that happen don’t play mis innocence because you are not, my god you are fifty, and you look it. nice schnozolla, you could play a perfect halloween witch. stay home and raise your kids, maybe your husband should go after someone young like cynthia, and qweneth get a life naming your kid apple, and moses, right…………….. peace out home wrecker
you must love all these people doting on you you are such a fake. who are you trying to kid. oh are you gonna kiss britney again, oooh you suck madonna you are such a phoney from michigan.
I love Dionne Warwick! Reminds me of my mothers old records that I used to listen to!
can i entice you with say, your soul back
we can negotiate
Andy i saw the wing’s on your blog that you made for pride and it reminded me of this;
Sexual cannibalism
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
This article is about arthropod behavior; for the human psychological disorder see sexually motivated cannibalism
Sexual cannibalism is a special case of cannibalism in which a female organism kills and consumes a male of the same species before, during, or after copulation. Rarely, these roles are reversed.[1][2]
This female Stagmomantis carolina is eating her mate. Sexual cannibalism occurs in roughly one quarter of all intersexual encounters of this species.
This female Stagmomantis carolina is eating her mate. Sexual cannibalism occurs in roughly one quarter of all intersexual encounters of this species.[3]
The New York Times provides this lurid description:
A male mantis approaches a female, flapping his wings and swaying his abdomen. Leaping on her back, he begins to mate. And quite often, she tears off his head. The female mantis devours the head of the still-mating male and then moves on to the rest of his body. [...] If you put a pair together and come back later, you’ll just find the wings of the male and no other evidence he was ever there [...] Sexual cannibalism has fascinated biologists ever since Darwin.[4]
]
A male mantis ( ANDY) approaches a female ( LIKE A GAY BISEXUAL- YER RIGHT), flapping his wings ( BLUE ANGEL WINGS ) and swaying his abdomen ( THE GAY MINCE WALK). Leaping on her back, he begins to mate. And quite often, she tears off his head. The female mantis devours the head of the still-mating male and then moves on to the rest of his body. [...] If you put a pair together and come back later, you’ll just find the wings of the male and no other evidence he was ever there [.SEE ANDY'S BLOG- THE BLUE WINGS ON THE BENCH..] Sexual cannibalism has fascinated biologists ever since Darwin.[4
and the wings that were left behind were cast into heaven, when god blew life into the world like a big gust of wind…
what a great title for a band….
The Greedy Grasshoppers
love you till the end.
the song is good, I love it
Dear M.,
I am sorry that I have never been a follower of your music. I am 11 years older so I think that really puts me into a different realm of artistry than you.
Presently I love your new work with Justin. You being a great businessperson, it was a cleaver move to have Brit incorporated in your new show. It is intriguing for your fans and giving Brit a chance to show her professions, kudos for you.
God bless you. It is hard be married to a strong Englishman . I have been married to one for 30 years. When we fall in love we think the accent is cute and not really realizing that they are European and so different from us Americans. Marriage is hard and at the end of the day your can snuggle up to someone who is really there for you.
God bless.
Patty Joyce
why would you sue c rod, how much more do you want to hurt this women, you are a cruel and mean and un holy person, where are your morals? what do they teach you in your religion, narcissium, and feel sorry for me as i home wrecked so many marriages with your monetary ruthlessness. Hey i said it once, i will say it again, you were cute in the eighties but now you look like a hag. what was the deal wearing a red slip, unlatched shoes and a hoodie, and sunglasses. give me a break for some one who wants to not be seen with that get up people notice. so you are all hype, phoney and worst of all you are an idol to young girls. i don’t know why maybe its the kissing britney. nice pals you hang with. nice mother roles, oh thats right you have no role, you create and it comes out manure.
I’m so excited that you are asking Britney to be a part of the tour. This is gonna be fasinating!!!
I had actually deleted this bookmark and found it on another computer.. Wow! It’s been revived.. COOL…
Girlfriends are like oxygen… A necessary part of life….
Dear Madonna,
In this comments one reader is giving you all kind of insults, which means that you are really wooing that woman’s husband heart. don’t you have a heart of your own. I am sure if your husband flirts with anybody you will be upset too. you have grown but I do not think that you will turn into an ugly ha… as she is saying. Stop playing with young and old man’s hearts and women too!!!!!They love you so don’t play with their hearts and remove that from your hand
Its amazing that your critics come to your blog to bag you. It shows what level their souls are at. You look Great you will always will. At least you can laugh at what is real and what is fantasy with Gwyneth.
IYour new CD is great thanks…
I CANNOT FUCKING BELIVE THAT U SENT ONLY 500 DOLLARS TO UR 97 YEAR OLD GRANDMA
YOU ARE FUCKED UP IN MANY WAYS
MADONNA
REALLY AND TRULY
THEN U CALL UR FATHER AND GET HIM IN THE MIDDLE
I HAVE MY SOURCES
MADONNA
U ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG
AND U KNOW IT
Hi Madonna,
I stumbled upon your blog, I didn´t even know you have a blog. I just want to say how I admire your work, I love your music, your way to perform on stage and stay on tune with time through all those years. But I can´t imagine how tough it is to handle the fame. All those rumours and sad people that are after a little drama, to make their lives feel more comfortable to live in.
I work in the filmindustry, behind the camera, my work is very creative and I am dedicated to it 24/7. Having to handle peoples stupidity on top of that, daily, must be exhausting.
I am glad, that you have stayed strong and that you keep on making good music. Your new album is GREAT. I have listen to it 3 days in a row now. The music video of “4 minutes” is amazing. Who made it?
You never sieze to surprise and amaze me and I have listened to your music sinse the 80-s.
You look great too.
Just stay strong and know there are people out there who appreciate you for what you do professionaly and for who you are.
You inspire me in many ways.
Thanks for the new album.
Greetings from Stockholm
Maria
HI YOUR MAJESTY…TOTALLY LOVE HARD CANDY…HOPE YOU’RE PLANNING A BIG BASH FOR YOUR 50TH BDAY…WE LOVE YOU HERE IN CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA….WISH I COULD ATTEND YOUR LONDON CONCERT, MAYBE NEXT TIME…
I would never write this shit…or post this song…nothing is all that it seams…be aware my friends xx
Indeed, awareness is the doorway to our divine true self.
Maintaining awareness is exceedingly difficult for most people who do not have the fortitude of descerning wisdom to set flexible boundaries for themselves, with those who may not be at the same level of positive mental emotional well being.
While we are able to connect with the divine true self within another thru our sincerity with them, where they see and feel their own divine true self within you, many are not aware of how one maintains always just being their divine true self.
I met Mika, and he connected with me, in the same way i connected with him…unfailing sincerity devoid of useless doubt, where words do not even have to be spoken, as the feelings flow, calming us both. What a sweety he is, but i am afraid for his future, as he is ADHD, with an already low impulse control issue. Normal people have a difficult time with impulse control when it comes to substance abuse…add into the mix ADHD, and you have disaster in the future.
I do not assist or enable his substance abuse in my approach with him, and rather merely always there as a friend he can always turn to, unable to turn away from him, because of the hazardous direction his life is taking. I truly depise the drug dealers who know and care nothing at all about Mika’s condition of ADHD.
I am completely at ease and accepting of his condition, where most are not understanding, as i look for the sincerity in his soul, that is expressing himself artistically, verbally, poetically, musically in his singing, story telling in his theatrical wizardry of his writings, and in his fashion sense that he loves.
Field study is fascinating for me, as individuals are merely stuggling at being themself as they live and experience their life, however haphazard it may be.
i pray love and wisdom for Mika’s loving soul.
I composed a guitar piece for Mika, that i am still working on. It is one of my best yet, that has a harkening feeling to is, like that of the summoning of all souls into Porta Caeli. i will record and post it eventually, once i practice perfecting the timing of it.
Looking into returning to my music again, with new instruments, like a Martin guitar.
My guitar was always my best friend in life that i could turn to and feel good, if ever something painful in life came my way, soothing and calming for me, healing too.
I was speaking with a musician the yesterday, about the composer within. I said, “A composer connects with their sincere feelings within in a fearless way, that naturally comes with years of playing music, and the confidence that comes thru years of playing. As a musician, we connect with our feelings while playing music of other, but with composing, you open the door to expressing your feelings, which may be alot more intense than you first realize while exploring your own depth of soul, and sincerity of love you feel. Being fearless in exploring and expressing our feelings is the goal in composing, doing whatever it takes to get into the zone, like playing for four hours before entering into composition mode.
I have descovered that my love devoid of doubt is coming out in my compositions, and i am truly more excited than any previous time in my life as a musician. A true artist connects with their loving feelings and wants to express for sake of others feeling what they too feel.
While out walking, i felt the gentle breeze on my skin, the warmth of sun, and i realized that nothing can compete with real life experience, when it comes to loving another…not music, not art, not words written.
Out walking, talking, holding hands, hugging, kissing, swimming, biking with another, will always win over words written, albeit, writting is one of the best experiential techniques for maintaining positive mental emotional well being.
Still, nothing can take the place of a soft gentle kiss, or hand to hold.
Mika says to hug a tree.
Indeed, acceptance of the divine true self of others starts with acceptance of and knowingness of our own divine true self within. Jesus came to this place of certainty in his own mind, of his knowingness that others too are capable to come to the level of awareness he arrived at and journeyed, of love in each step, breath, heart beat and dance move! haha!
what?
well someone has to cheer this place up!
HEY MADDY!!!
REMEMBER….JUST BREATHE AND….
OHMANAMSHIBAYA
OHMNAMASHIBAYA
OHMNAMASHIBAYA….
OHM SHANTI SHANTI SHANTI OHMMM….
BLESSING THE ENEMY, LOVE´S GOD IS THE SAME…
KISSES AND TIGHT HUG!!!
Vote Madonna… MTV VMA 2008 HollyWood
http://www.mtv.com/ontv/vma/2008/best-female-video/
Best Female Video: 4 Minutes
Give It 2 Me
Madonna Needs Our Votes.. C’Mon!!
i’ve become a nude model 2 earn money 4 myself & i feel really ashamed. i know you were a nude model yourself M (i’ve done a tribute 2 you as well, look @ my page),please help me get thru this, you’re still my no.1!
i am in san antonio,texas.there is no society here worth staying for.i talked to the illustrious potentate of the local #99 freemasons,he told me something about the future of this area.i understand that arian brotherhood want this state,and want me out because i am the godspirit of the american skinheads.nobody can compete with me,cuz i have all the books that the movies are using and it takes one good out-burst and i am on thier game and tell the mehecans whos who.i have the 1980 revcon prince 33 foot motorhome,from dalongega georgia,i was told to buy.and the 327 v8 from a 1969 impala to put in my truck.and the z1r-900 kawasaki motorcycle,you people are going to get me black-balled in the union,if you do not stick to u.s.a. products,madonna.please tell hollywood that.i will have to custom an exterier for it not to be noticed,readily.are you coming back to the u.s. now that your divorcing guy?i would like to live in the same square as you,because i know you are at such a level in ambiguity,that -that place is best for our people.3456 BT,2.5 .i may go to france to get what i need from the society around me,i do not want to raise children in texas with this silent confederate side-line.the mehecans are at war with the A.B. and do not recognize any left-wingers.the only gang i represent in my strongest form with is SLUM-BOARD,they are like E.M.E. i deal great with them also.alot are coming over to our side in secret.they are tired of the racism.i also found the mask from the 15th century,with the long nose it is so masculin,i love it.$55 out of california.i may go to oregan,then down into cali.the union is paying electritians $48 an hour in san francisco.i want to jion that local committee of 300,chapter 31.they say i am up for an aunterage prospect,under robt. williams,who was anton levays prospect.i am a secret inside free masonry,just like you who i respect most,your THE MOST!
Hi Madonna,
I have been a major, big time, ‘hell of’ Madonna fan for 25 years. I just wanted to express my support for you. I admire you so much. I am now 45 with 2 girls 7 and 6 but when I was at UCLA I will never forget when I heard Borderline and thought who is this amazing new black singer? It makes me so incredibly sad to read people bashing you on this site. They SO need a hobby. I have a confession.. in 1991 I was working for a famous rock star whose music I wasn’t into and I wanted to work for you so I put a letter/resume on an exact replica of the open your heart bustier and delivered it to Oriole way.. I bought it at Trashy Lingerie on La Cienega. Now that I am older, I think how pathetic, I know, but I really wanted to try to work for someone whose music I loved and was in my 20s… Anyway, I danced on the stage with you at the AIDS danceathon in 1990 in LA and met you once at Roxbury during the Body of Evidence era. You were so cute in person. So tiny like a little Venus De Milo. Anyway, for what its worth f**ck everyone who says mean things. You RULE. write me puhleeeeeze
oh–almost forgot. Remember Facade on La Cienega circa 1985 and that club in Manhattan around the same time that was in a church?? 85 was SUCH a great year. ya think? So fun growing up with you!
Hi, i´m from argentina, sorry if the question don´t like you, and sorry for my english, is it realy you Madonna who are writing? This is not for what friends are for note, is only to know if you are writing all of that, if so it´s amazing, I know you are making a lot for poor people, living your life, singing, a so on, and I am realy happy that people like you make that, and also write for the fans, here in Argentina we need more like you!! you are an example of human in the world. Thanks for being what you are. If you are coming to argentina next december I hope you have a wanderfull stay and feel the love of all of us. I love you. Once I would like to see you and only hug you and be a part of your life just while that hug happens.
Adrian.
This blog is FAKE!
Dear Madonna
I have always loved your music and your art. At the moment, I am sending you lots of positive vibes during this difficult time. As a fan, I will never purchase or read your brother’s book.
I am horrified and can’t believe he is dumb enough to do this to himself. The media will turn on him. He is portraying himself as the poor, little neglected brat. I feel sorry for him…
Keep strong!!
Lots of love Rose
hi.
Hi, how ya doin? You need to chuck this “macrobiotic diet” nonsense and eat a few good pies. A good steak pie and chips would give you the energy you lack – seriously. Steak pie, chips, and peas. Normal food – not this fashionable macriobiotic stuff. All your problems can be solved by pies. Have a nice steak pie, chips and peas on me.
And have a lie down a bit. You do too much running around. Have a lie down and eat some good food for a change.
I know it sounds like I’m joking but I’m not. You need to do some things which normal people do. Chuck all the weird stuff and try doing normal things. Act normal, eat normal, live normal. I like normal. The singing and dancing and your work can be exceptional, but for the rest of your life, normal would be good.
Feel free to ignore me. But I am the voice of reason.
Your friend Gweneth scored when she married the hottie from COLDPLAY.
Their new song Viva la Vida… OMG….
Possibly THE BEST SONG EVER!! outside of your work my dear… cuz I LOVE YOU…. but… this is the bomb… come on.. ya godda give it to em… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5I3RPbS8aI&NR=1
WHAT A FAKE!!!
Friends!
She’s not the real Madonna on the blog! This blogger is a woman that wrote on another blog 1 year ago and than she confessed the truth! She wrote: “”I tried to take things that happened to me or friends and apply them to Madonna and how she’d react to them. The longer I did it the better I got at it. When I first started it was obvious that it was a joke, but I do see that the longer I did it the more convincing it was. I’m sincerely sorry to the ones who really thought it was her. I really thought you were laughing along with the rest of us. I even thought that Madonna would laugh if she read them. She used to have a great sense of humor! I’m going to keep blogging. I don’t care if anyone reads it or not. I do this for fun. I will still post funny stories and everything. I will never lose my sense of humor. If you post negative comments, they will not appear.!” Now the other blog does not already exist and she’s created this ’cause all Madonna’s fans was very angry with her!
I’m a fan too and I don’t like this joke of illusion for all of us!
Now plese post this comment or I’ll write private messages to everyone to advise them!
People, play attention!
It’s good that Coldplay song because it’s simple and catchy, and doesn’t try to be more than it is.
Really can’t stand the rest of their stuff, though. Pretentious and overblown.
http://www.shotdeadinthehead.com/products/info.php?products_id=114
THE PROVE SHE’S NOT MADONNA!
Go back on blog!
On february 17 she wrote than she didn’t find the title for the new album (sorry for my english if it’s not perfect), but the real Madonna decided it BEFORE this date!
This article is dated 1st february 2008.
Go to see it on this link!
http://music-flash.blogspot.com/2008/02/madonna-licorice-il-nuovo-album-in.html
you are right Val it is a fake blog, i don’t understand how it is possible to believe it is the true Madonna, thank you Val for your sens of reality…
I actually feel better out of my 12 year relationship, of no more toxic feelings each day like before. Not of accusing any, rather of my awareness of such, as happiness seems to be flowing within me, of the me who will not tolerate any more inappropriateness from anyone ever again, or at least not for long, setting healthy boundaries along the way.
With you M, i have come to know i need no boundaries, of someone i sincerely and completely trust, like none other i have before. I have said this many times before, of not knowing why it i trust you at the level that i do. Perhaps because we pose no threat to one another, of dear loving sincerity that comes with soul mate friends?
Truly, it is a most loving feeling beyond all the riches of the world for me, that i have explored and felt with you since and before we first started chatting, of what i had not expected or anticipated i would feel, knowing you too felt it too.
Always know that i love you, of the depth of the sincere love that my divine true self is, 100% love for you, now and forever more…eternal love i suppose, like that of Jesus, where it is silly to be unloving, is it not? duh!
I feel the same for Matt, and i know he feels it too, just as i feel for many souls i have met in life, and continue to meet.
We connected M, both with each other and with our divine true self within, and i know you felt it too, praying that you always feel the sincerity we have come to know, of my daily prayers for you and those you love.
Only love is good enough for Jesus, you, me and others…at all times.
Love one another.
Words they cut like a knife ..i dont wanna hear your words….we have a good vibe ..the best tour yet ? are you ready or are you paying for the top
paying for the top? huh?
i am a top, why would i pay for one? lol
ready for a hand to hold, but not just any hand to hold. Only one that yearns to hold mine like i do theirs will do, of gentle sincerity like when we are alone praying, the divine true self that loves without useless doubt, unlike so many yet full of insecurity, fear and the manifesting behaviours that come with aimless uncertain soul conditions. Bin there. done that. not again.
It is what i want most in life, where everything else is second. Finding a true loving soul mate to live out the rest of my life with, will see everything else flow from the joyful loving couple that sets an example for all to easily know love is beyond all the riches of the world.
Oh, you must be talking about Kyle! Ya, Kyle is a beautiful guy. loves his pot. loves me. too dysfunctionall for me though. I mean this guy smokes pot every single day, for the past six years. Still, i love him alot, as he is so relaxing to be around, albeit, i think his pot use is effecting his sexual funtioning. He actually walks strangely because of his chronic pot use, and a small speech impediment that may or may not be a result of his self abuse. Reminds me alot of Mike, and how Mike behaves, always smiling.
paying for a top. ha. as if that will ever happen, what with this body? who would not want this body? duh!
i suppose Kyle is broke most of the time, and i guess you could say it is abit of a codependent relationship at times, but he’s so fucking adorable!
and dysfunctional. ah well, i can function for him!
actually, he does not like to hold my hand in public, so he is off my list of potential partners.
why is it people don’t recognize a good thing when the have it? Are they really that stunned? lol
apparently so. ah well. who wants someone that don’t want them? does not work when it is only one sided.
I was thinking of you lately, hoping you are feelings as sincere as i do. lit a candle for you this morning. one for Matt too. and Rosie.
if you love someone, and yearn for them, let them know. If it is mutual, great! If not…at least you expressed how you felt for them, good for them, and good for you as well, to feel the depth of your own spirit and soul, which radiates thru them to others, and back to you again.
Why hide how we feel for another, if it is true of us?
well ok, there are many reasons not to open up to others, such as those who may not be appropriate for us, and instead, we eventually come to realize they were not what we thought, nor need. Who needs or wants dysfunction? Go ahead if you must. We eventually feel the results of our own decisions. Personally, i am done with the idiots.
A camera grew drove by shelter yesterday, filming from the door of a van as they drove by. Always alot of film productions here in the city.
Cruise time!
i miss you.
Valentine… Did you ever think.. We don’t care if it’s real or not?… We love the blog…
Why are you so worried?
Dearest Madonna,
first of all it´s a great pleasure to have a possibility to comunicate with you. I found this blog only today…thanks!!!!
I have kept you from since as my “universal” sister and I “ti voglio bene” a lot – I am a finnish woman and at about the same age you moved to NY i started my experiences in living in italy from 1991 moved alone in Milan. After 10 difficult years (imagine from scandinavia to latin country learning the language, social life and all the rest…surely the most difficult is in the working field) the lady in the next door talked to me about buddishm. Firstly I could´n understand it and I tried not to go ahead but misticly one other dearest frend of mine talked it to me again after not to see him for a long time – he has converted to buddishm and this way, i understood that this practice i could not leave it anymore.
Now after 7-8 years after conversion in buddhism I understand that this is a huge occasion to give me and my life could be orientated for a reason and a happy future I want to realize could be mine. this means anyway working very hard with the difficult side of me, while living with all kind of difficulties around. Still I can say i have received some important very personal benefits by chanting.
You Madonna are doing it too in your way and i am sure you will super them since you have won so many other obstacles in your life!
I am also very fond of the idea of your interest to kabbalah. (i have only once studied some parts of it when I studied astrology)
Also with this occasion I express to you Madonna my deepest gratitude, you have been to me all these 20 years a great teacher in life listening your music and “feeling” your feelings that has given me a very big hand to go ahead and that I have learned lot of things from your incredible way to transform your life and passing them to me as teachings.
I hope you all the best and I wish you the most most pleaseant and peaceful summer and to make an excellent candy tour as the confession one was!!!!!
Big big hug
Minna
Oh I love this song! It is so beautiful, and I hope it will be sung forever.
I LOVE YOU M. I hope that you`re administrator blog. Unless read it.
As a white collar professional who deals with difficult individuals who try to propagate BS as a way of life, I feel deep empathy for the trials and tribulations that you have had to go through. I believe that you are not involved in the Rodriguez scandal, I truly believe that, and it is unfortunate that you have been put in the middle of something that you are truly uninvolved with. Stay strong, and remember who your true friends really are. It is better to have a few true blue friends; rather than suffer through a number of sycophantic admirers who are out for their own gain. I am waiting on pins and needles to see you in Chicago, center stage. Take care and stay true to your family, your children, and your faith. That is what really matters.
Ingredable your welcome to my party, see ya soon xxx
Ingredable your welcome to my party, see ya soon xx
Clearly this woman is not Madonna!! I’m sorry, but there is only one way to communicate with her and that is to go through her people!!!
If this blog were legit, which it is not, then there would be a link to it from her OFFICIAL website. And furthermore, if Madonna had a blog then it would not be on some public site like this. She would do the logical thing and have her tech team take care of it and make her a blog on her website!!!
I feel incredibly sorry for all of you who have been duped by this cruel joke. Now lets see how long it takes for this post to be ripped down!! Bet it won’t take long!!
Crusty Candy Girl…did you block me?
Where’s Crusty Candy Girl? MIA for awhile now.
I’m shocked I’m gagging..I’ve started my alcohol ban, none now until the tour is over …”Put your hands up for Detroit” xXx
bless you.
Truly a life without alcohol is a pure life of sincerity and true gracefulness that is true of the divine true self by nature.
Forteen years of clean and sober, i truly know that clean and sober is the only way for the divine true self of me, where in acknowledging the truth of this, i easily know it to be true of everyone.
Why invite such things into our path of an exceeding joyful loving life?
Truly i do not want such things in my path, nor in your path, nor in Matt’s path, nor of the path of anyone.
I ask for forgiveness from Jesus and God for unwisely inviting such things into my path, when ever i relapse, which is less than five times a year now, and with recent events, may see me cast it from my life forever more.
Truly i wish all of you to not invite these things into your precious loving lives, especially you Matt, of whom i know is at high risk of high risk behaviour.
I pray for safe passage of you to journey, of a journey which will see the natural exceeding joyfulness of a healthy divine true self, merely by your desire to just be who you are right now, delicate, sensitive, tender and loving.
Jesus and God summon you to the wisdom which your divine true self feels the truth of these things i speak of. Truly, it is the divine will of Jesus and God that you feel the truth of the divine true self of YOU.
bless you, bless you, bless you.
yeah,friends are good.friends can disagree or come to blows but they wind up laughing.tiffs between friends,and the resolution of momentary anger,makes for the best friendships.we all must slip sometimes.Those moments when we don’t feel forgiving towards ourselves ,and so,friendships don’t have a chance to grow slowly and firmly,by time and season.To be even cornier;the song on the other side of the coin plays”I don’t want ourlives…to be over..”…….but its true.forgive,forget are good words and betterrealities.Before I went away from a recent jaunt in the woods it occured to me that it would truely be a bizarre strange event for anyone to be seen leaving said central park west apt building.if it makes you feel better,many people areupset to see there number2 news story when they toon in is not about important problems and sollutions but what the famous are doing.To boot,they know their lying!!!!!!!!!!h Ditto for a hard week.I learned about myself and others through it all ,actually not crying on the bus from seeing so many in discomfort and various distress.crying on the bus.jeesh.we alwayse knew you would be there for britney at THE RIGHT TIME.Bearing in mind that i am also a mean person and can wax nasty,hurtful mouth,it is not brown nosing to say that you are very wise.And……considerate…………and generous……………….plus your kind. rock on dude purdas dafogoo
We are not what the business machine of society would like us to be, of slavery mentality that buys into it all, like owning a car, a house, the false status of life sensibility that many hold their noses above the meek and weak, which disconnects from the sincerely loving and gentle divine true self within themselves, as though they are so much greater than the weakest and meekest among us, shunning them as outcasts, when in truth, the weakest and meekest one is of more connected with the sincere feelings of the divine true self than the ones who shun them as outcasts, making them seem as though unworthy of even speaking with them.
Ok, not all are like this, but many there are who are not of the gentle grace of their own divine true self.
For me, i see so much absurdness daily, it bewilders me of just how snared so many souls are, and worse, the weak and meek actually buy into all the falseness that surrounds them.
~ an observation
So what could M truly want for her birthday, that she does not already have?
You already have my heart, so besides that, what else could you wish for?
Ok. Let’s not go there.
Sometimes i get these moments in my day, where i feel lifted beyond the mundane life i actually am living. Not sure what it is, other than it has to do with the future of my life, of where i know my path is one of a wholesome fun loving life with someone loving of me and i them.
What does it matter what we own or what status any of us are, where one can easily choose to live a wholesome healthy life free of substance abuse and the anxiety that comes with such?
I am excited about my future, in my knowingness that it will be free of the unwiseness i once participated with many others, of the first half of my life.
Please, please, please know fully and completely the depth and truth of my words of my life experience which saw how dangerous and haphazard one can easily fall into substance abuse issues, which derail the ability for the divine true self within to sincerely live a wholesome fun loving and exceedingly joyful healthy life with one just like you.
Pray to Jesus and God, asking forgiveness of the unwiseness of inviting such into your life, including unwise descerning for entertaining friendships or lovers who may be participating in such, for no one escapes the truth of the reality that comes with substance abuse, including those who associate with individuals who may not desire to become free of their unwise learned behaviours.
I discovered my sincere connection with Jesus, God and my divine true self while praying, where my divine true self has Jesus and God to be 100% safe and supportive of me.
Ya, i know, some of you may look apon me as some religious freak. Truly i tell you, Jesus and God are 100% safe and supportive of me, and are restoring me fully, where i feel certainty of my future path to be forever free of the absurd unwisenesses which snare so many in life who think causual drinking and associating with such is ok. Truly, time reveals the truth of these things i speak of, where i pray for all to become wise of unwiseness which fails to descern for sake of themselves and those they love.
When we turn towards Jesus and God, we turn towards sincerity of our divine true self within and the divine true self within others.
A peaceful loving life is for those who come to know themselves, who come to awareness and feel the sincere emotions of their own divine true self. Jesus and God will this apon us all, and will apon us the descerning wisdom which nurtures and protects our ability to live a wholesome fun loving life of exceeding joyfulness which comes natural to those who are deliberate in their health approach to life.
One cannot live a healthy life without descerning wisdom.
I am thankful of where my path is this day, of the dark passage of spiritual death i currently am surrounded by, where the light is bright, by means of the contrasting darkness and illnesses of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul of nearly everyone at the hostile i am currently a resident. Truly, it is a passage of great depth of learning, which is ushering me into a future life that will remain free of absurd unwiseness.
I am deeply saddened by my inability to assist those who are so deeply snared physically, mentally and emotionally by substance abuse, encouraging all i speak with to come free of it, asking their counselors for a rehab program referral, if only they would. I do not recall seeing so many not only caught in substance abuse, but also caught in the group dynamics of substance abuse mentalities/personalities which feed into the notion that it is OK to continue, to the degree they actually think it is cool.
Scared straight, i guess you could say. Truly i have seen enough to ensure my future will remain free of such learned behaviors, where i now question why i even bother hanging out in the ghetto, where so many are of substance abuse, where indeed, alcohol is substance abuse.
OK…that was my sermon for the day.
Jesus and God summon and bless us all with wisdom that protects and love that nurtures the divine true self within us all.
Please choose to become wise, for sake of you and those you love, and for sake of the example which others are affected/effected.
bless you, bless you, bless you.
i love you
Truly, my love is with you in every sincere step towards feeling the tender loving feelings of your divine true self…at all times.
Truly, any other direction is the wrong direction, is it not?
truly, i love you
i used to be a dreamer, but then i woke up to the sincere feelings, delicate, sensitive and true of the divine true self me.
Best of all, it is true of everyone!
I’ve personally reported this site to Warner Bros and asked them if it was real and to rip it off the net if it is not Madonna. They haven’t yet.
So….maybe it is Madonna….Most people don’t believe it…fun for her right?
I sent these sites to Liz herself!
hello Madonna.
im from Mexico.
let me tell u these ….here in Mexico every day the radio play u music
i really like it.
U NEED REALL FRIENDS, SOMETIMES THE PEOPLE WHO IS AROUND U.
THEY JUST LOOKING FOR U MONEY
TRIE TO SEARCH NEW STAFF. HONESTLY PEOPLE
GODBLESS U ALWAYS JESUS LOVE U
Truly, she is a free loving spirit of exceeding delight and joyfulness, yes?
I am too, but lately, life has kicked me around, ever reminding me of where i don’t belong, of those who unfortunate for them, are not suitable for me at times.
So many there are who are complete jerks with me! agghh!
ah well…makes it easy for me to descern when they are…Next!
You there…what’s your name?
You have no idea how special you are to me, in feeling your true self that i connect with.
Truly, i don’t know why it is that i don’t feel overwhelmed by you, as i feel the sincerity of gentle loving You that has no desire to ever hurt me, or at least that is how it feels for me when i am around you.
of course, i want to always be safe and supportive of your true self, of the way you just are. I am so amazed by how healthy you are, for more than i am, of this i know you know the truth. I get my good days, bad days emotionally.
Is it just me, or is there something special between us (still)?
My heart pounds at the thought of you and Brit Brit together.. you previously blogged about going back and giving to B again…soooo amazing M. your music moves but your actions soar. she needs you.. i love that you need her too. give receive ..make’n the world go round ;D
Judas was always loving never turning his back in my moments of ignorance never reacting to intentionally inflict pain as some form of revenge, instead accepting my short comings and continuing to embrace me with his loving soul unconditionally, by doing so allowing me to heal and grow in love and light with minimal pain, his compassionate patience in me and warm loving embrace always there for me in my moments of Despair, instead I turned my back to him, with out reason without cause for I judged him and without consideration without thanks, without patience, now I walk alone unable to turn back, experiencing that inflicted pain. Perhaps one day I will be forgiven for the love and tenderness I so dearly miss, I doubt I will find anywhere else.
And yet it was the ignorance for such was the insecurity and doubt that caused a judgement of error for I was not with Judas that night, but instead another with whom I had sought to take away the pain, for I was alone, abandoned and rejected by the one that I had sought with which I had offered my heart and love I would have waited if I was desired but unable to discern or clarify my concern, I was left with very little choice, now I have experienced that inflicted pain from another as I had also done to another, once there were three, then two now there are none, not even one, as one became lost inside the frost.
Without communication there is a manifestation of misrepresentation = darkness
Open communication manifests cooperation = brightness
as clear as black and white
But you’re always right, and way too uptight you gave me a fright by abusing your might, the other night, how about assisting me to help make it alright.
I still want to hold you but only if, it is alright
Next time “JUST ASK” openess & honesty from the truth you shall recieve, as i wear no mask.
No point beating around the bush, I am bitter and angry as hell for the way I have been treated for so many years. It will remain like that until the situation is resolved. I’m being honest here.
However … as I have said before, plenty of high-quality begging for forgiveness will go a long way towards sorting the matter. I am sure things can be sorted. OK.
I’ll see Madonna a week on Saturday.
Indeed, life teaches us the truth wisdoms about our divine true self, but only when we take time to reflect on the greatest treasure in life one shall ever find, ‘that’ of the loving purity and sincerity of our divine true self.
Be thankful of the purity and sincerity you come to know of your divine true self, irregardless of how others may or may not be in their conduct with you, in your turning towards feeling the treasure you come to know of YOU, no different than the same way Jesus came into the knowingness of the greatest treasure one shall ever find in life.
Entering fully into Porta Caeli, we feel the fearlessness there, which does not seek to correct another, while being what Porat Caeli is, of the pure divinity of Jesus, God, and your divine true self.
Many there are who do not seek the cognitive level of understanding, aimlessly of the subconscious searching of purity and sincerity within and of others instead. In purity, we easily feel compassion for the innocent souls unknowingly snared by unwiseness and their crucial lacking of desire for wisdom, rather than judgemental, where our loving feelings of compassion feel the truth of their anxieties and fear which no longer plague us in Porta Caeli.
Learn to be always nurturing and protective of your divine true self which yearns to always be found of the purity and loving sincerity of your divine true self, for the world does not seek to nurture or protect the divine true self, where our knowingness of nurturing and protecting the purity and loving sincerity within another, reveals the truth of this fully and with clarity of our feelings which see the obvious truth in the conduct and approach of others.
Responsibility for others, starts with responsibility of our divine true self, where when nurtured and protected, others feel their own loving sincerity, merely by us being among them, where our conduct is always of loving sincerity, pure and true of the divine true self within and within another.
Turning towards the hypocrisy heart leads away, not towards the purity and loving sincerity of our divine true self, when in time, our loving feelings of sincerity in our cognitive reflecting and searching of our heart, reveals the obviousness of these unwise bitter things of the hypocrisy heart that we can easily pluck and cast from us.
I always did despise foolish hypocrisy conduct, my entire life, in their bitter gnashing of teeth about others.
Do not invite bitterness into the loving heart, mind, body, spirit and soul of the divine true self which despises the unwiseness of the hypocrisy heart, that of which we easily see and feel with clarity, just how bitter their bitterness feels which grips their precious loving souls, indeed, able to derange and lead away from their divine true self.
Everyone needs to take the responsibility of nurturing and protecting their own divine true self, just as we do, just as Jesus did, of our embracing of wisdom which protects, and love that nurtures, able to always be found of loving sincere conduct that is of Jesus, God, and our divine true self.
Know this…the pure loving sincere feelings that are 100% true and sincere, are of Jesus, God and our divine true self, where it is in these moments of standing in Porta Caeli, that we are connected with Jesus, God and our divine true self.
Fully becoming ‘that’ of our divine true self at all times, is not small feat, and indeed, many souls there are which do not accomplish this in their life time.
Truly are of knowingness of the truth of where we always wish to BE, merely by means of feeling what the loving sincere feelings of our divine true self feels like, alone, or with another.
Magical is the feeling for the loving soul mate lovers who are of the loving sincerity of their divine true selves, where in doing so, the discover that once united, they no longer concern themselves of the fear that the world projects, for they have turned fully towards one another in sweet anticipation of each other, hourly, daily, forever more, having turned away from the world which once troubled them. The nurturing and protecting of the divine true self for the two soul mates comes natural for them in their turning towards one another, of eyes only for each other, of their always yearning for love’s embrace of the loving lovers.
I too am yet growing in wisdom and certainty of the greatest treasure one shall ever find, where my yearning for loving sincerity and peaceful grace within, is what i am becoming more and more as time passes.
Like all of you, i am always that of a humble student of Jesus and God’s loving compassionate wisdom which restores the divine true self within us all.
By choice, i have turned towards Jesus, God and my divine true self, and in doing so, i turn towards the divine true self within everyone, here in Porta Caeli, where indeed, the beginning and the end is of the same place, is it not?
The forces of negative and positive energy clash in the world, of wisdom replacing useless ignorance, love replacing absured hate and jealousies, of compassion replacing empty apathies which lead to now where, and certainly not to Jesus, God, me and your divine true self.
When one comes to knowingness of fearless loving sincerity, they feel the truth of all things with clarity, compassionate of the truth of the many innocent souls born into the (yet) unwise world full of ignorances which snare so many souls, holding captive the world in great sufferings and despairs.
God’s loving sincerity is of us all, sadly (yet) unattended, (yet) unnurtured, and (yet) unprotected for so many souls that dwell here in Heaven all around us.
Peace be to you.
Nothing to sort out for me with regards to my recent break up of a twelve year relationship.
At some point we may salvage a friendship, but the break up is permanent, with his ex now moved in with him, me signed off the lease…it’s over.
Been a few weeks of freedom, and i have to say, i am loving my freedom over condescending belittling that my ex gave me daily. I know, manifestations of low self esteem is why he behaves the way he does, but to call the police and trump charge on me, wrongfully sending me to prison, and bragging about it with his friends that he did it to help get me away from druggies? Sorry, that’s just too much for me to trust ever again, indicative of something that feels like a progressive illness for me, of which i am now free of.
I will comply with the judge…no contact…thank you Your Honor.
Anna? You are amazing with your fearless connectedness of self within, of such depth and patience of understanding with true certainty, fearless of embracing truth, even of mistakes we sometimes make.
Your words stimulated my thoughts, where i felt a moment of certainty about how any conduct which leads away from our loving sincerity connectedness of self within, or self of another, in my mind, is of the ones who are yet immature, including ourselves at times of course.
But here is the problem for me. I don’t see the desire in others to reach for understanding, like you do, and that is where i get discourage fast, when issues that need to be addressed are not, and psychological stuckness continues with those who don’t desire understanding that ushers us into being of the sincere grace, fearlessness and tender lovingness of our divine true self at all times, which for me is a path that i am on, of my knowingness of how my future self is, having dwelled with my future self, ever of my sincere desire to continue nurturing the growth and addressing protection required, such as my recent exiting of an unhealthy relationship that was toxic for me.
While you appear to be blaming yourself for the breakup, i look at the truth of my knowingness of loving sincere conduct of the divine true self, and i question the truth of the maturity level of Judas, of my knowingness that Judas, if of the required maturity needed for you, would not behave as such.
In this reqard, Judas is not the soul mate meant for you…at that time, nor any time, so long as they are not able to sit down and talk heart to heart with one another as sincere loving friends like you do here.
Truly, your words are moving for me.
Your words of, ‘love and tenderness I so dearly miss, I doubt I will find anywhere else.’ caused me to feel a gentle moment of sincerity that describes how i feel for M, and those i know of loving tenderness, like Matt.
I do hope you keep writing Anna. Writing is an excellent experiential technique that helps us maintain positive mental emotional well being, so keep writing.
And yes, is why i keep writing, of my knowingness that it assists my growth and nurturing of my true self that yearns to feel connectedness of loving sincerity at all times, where i am not yet there at this point in time…of the toxic environments i yet find myself in, not by choice…or at least i don’t think so(projection identification perhaps?)
I will say this, i am glad my ex terminated the relationship, rather than me, as i could not bring myself to leave, hurting him…although in truth, staying was hurting us both.
I love the outfits M.
My spirit has been set free to just be me…no more toxic feelings will i tolerate…or at least not for long. snap snap
breakups are always so…my body actually feels it all over at times, a detox sorta feeling i guess, as i take a deep breath, a chapter of my life over, a new chapter begins.
Harder than i thought, walking out the door for the last time, of a sancuary i became so comforable in. Not sure how long it will take to regain myself. This is a tough one for me, yet each day i feel excitement building and growing of a new life approaching, a new lover, a new space, a new grace?
In retrospect, i recall waiting during the day for my ex to dig his claws into me, and i started counting how many times a day he did.
I would wake in my peaceful state, gracefully get out of bed and begin my morning routine, feeling fantastic…and then, the condescending belittling…ANNOYING!!!!…behavior of my ex would start, and every time, i felt it, the negativity that cut thru me, lessening the graceful loving feeling i was feeling, fear cast into me, anxiety building…fuck that!
No more. Not again will i tolerate such negative approaches as much as i did my ex. And yet he treated everyone but me like royalty. jerk!
like i said, it would be nice if one were loving all the time, and more often.
I have learned that this has to do with the yearning of the divine true self within to always feel fearless, free of absurd anxiety the world projects, to always feel…well…divine!
i hope you are getting the proper rest.
Each day is more peaceful than the one before, as i find my confidence restoring to normal levels, actually better than before, although i know i am not out of the woods yet…
It has felt like i have been violated, somewhat traumatizing for me.
I know he’s too young, not of the same maturity, nor same passions, ambitions,
I just wanted to say Thank you. I have one daughter age 12 and we just finally got around to reading English Roses. She cried… she kept saying I am so thankful to have a mom, and you know what, its ok to be different. Thank you so much for finally getting through to her what I have been trying to for years. I’ve always been the artsy fartsy one, the one that went against the grain, always the different one… now my daughter sees it’s ok, and that my dear is an awesome feeling. I have watched you and admired you throughout the years, continue being just you M, you’re an inspiration to more then you know. Thanks again E
PS good luck on your tour
Ya. me too. i am not ready for anyone right now. too messed up. over sensitive. unfocused. uncertain. confidence issues.
why is it people kick the fuck out of ya when life goes down for you financially. what a bunch of fucking morons, treating me like i am a loser, when in truth…
oh wait…”I’m FREE! I’m FREE! I’m FREE!!!!”
why am i complaining when i have nothing to complain about here in the present…where looking back, our hearts do indeed turn to stone, do we not? ha.
Running!
“Im FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
hmmm….easier than i thought it would be.
even my boss treats me like a loser now, when i have been his financial advisor for years…can you believe that? jerks!
I can’t believe the way people can be such jerk offs! fuck!
i will soon ditch his ass too…motherfuckers.
deep breaths…inhale…exhale…hummmmmm…
compassion for the morones….hummmmmm…
ah, fuck this…im going out dancing!!!
FREEDOM!!!!
of course, the greatest prison of all, is our own minds…rendered useless by some people…so long as we don’t build apon our own understanding and insight.
Jesus was right. We all hold the key to freedom of our divine true self, able to free, nurture and protect our divine true self from useless, absurd, unwiseness of the morons, all the while having compassion for them…but dwelling among them too long…no wonder Jesus left them alone for long periods of time…so they could grow.
Truly, i understand.
ok…i am not entirely blameless.
My own insincerity has now surrendered to sincerity in my exiting a relationship i was not truly happy to be in since the beginning…admitedly, i sought shelter at the time, thinking a couple years…that turned into twelve years.
Now, being sincere to my self, happy to be free of inappropriateness which likely stems from his subconscious awareness of my not being truly happy at all times…as difficult as it may be for us both…we will be happier with someone else. I feel abandonment guilt, but not in the sense that one may think. I feel i am now sincere in leaving, of no desire to return, knowingness of my own feelings of insincerity all those years, where today, i feel guilty for staying, rather than leaving, hinder both of us from true happiness.
although, had i commited whole heartedly, we could of become happier in addressing our needs and commitment to making it work.
I will not entertain thoughts of returning, and instead stay true to myself, now free to fully experience the loving souls of others, of my full attention and appreciation to do so, unattached to thoughts of loss or returning to something i sincerely do not wish to.
Does not make him a bad person, rather incompatible for me at this point in time. Truly, he is and was a loving soul for me, precious indeed, but i want something of more grace and purity of sincerity with someone, which neither of us seemed to connect with at a deeper level of sincerity which is of me, of my knowingness of loving sincere feelings of my divine true self.
I will be there as a friend, like most gay couples are when the split, unlike the hetersexuals are in many cases, of our maturity to do so…family.
ya…im ok…as you can tell by my ability to think rational in my certainty of understanding clarity…likely because of my thinking it over for the last few years.
Only one life to live. CHOOSE wisely.
Truly, i have experienced sincere appreciation in meeting new souls, precious and true like my own.
I love meeting, interacting and getting to know new people, where i connect with thru sincerity with and of the divine true self within us.
Actually, that is what i love most about life, interacting with the soul of others, feeling the sincere joy and happiness of them shine radiant and bright…now if i can just find the key to this damn shackle around my leg. ha.
Happy birthday!!!!!!!! a very big kiss from italy.
Happy Birthday girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
of course i love you! duh!
Happy Birthday M!!!!!!! You look like a young girl!!
I wish you a wonderful day!
Much love
Hey M just wanted to wish you a happy 50th birthday! You look just as hot as you did 25 years ago! I’m resting at home sick today watching an afternoon dedicated to you on the Star network in Canada. Have fun on your birthday
ya. i thought so too. She looks better than she ever has, in such perfect shape, physically, mentally, emotionally….just perfect please!
oh, how i could lay next to her…no problems…just perfect.
but only if she passes the rule: They must love me!
give it up…let me have my way…which is the same direction as you, is it not?
Only LOVE is good enough for me.
Only love is good enough for YOU.
Only Love is good enough for YOU.
The expensive!!! Spit lie and envy round you!!! Envious persons wish to misdirect you, to destroy your rest and everything that you have created!!! Dear to listen to provocations and to endure – not our method. You are a beauty, the clear head and the remarkable skilled adviser. Spit gossips about operations, changes and other bosh!!! We do not trust these rascals!!! (Russia)
Happy birthday Madonna! Love and kisses x
M, what’s the matter with you, more than a month you didn’t blog ! Are you sure to be the Real Queen of Pop ?
There’s something strange in your blog, you talk and talk and talk, but nobody has never seen you face. By the way, can you tell me why this video from the real Madonna from You tube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCkwYuoqnyo) can’t be found on your blog ? Sounds like it smells fake on this blog…
Gbai
there are 10,000s of us sitting in Cardiff getting very board waiting. come on it’s not like there’s even a supporting act here for gods sake !
YOU are the supporting (act)!
MADONNA – HOW CAN YOU CALL IT A WORLD TOUR WHEN YOU ARE NOT GOING ALL OVER THE WORLD???? HONESTLY, I READ SOME OF THESE COMMENTS FROM PEOPLE, WHO CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU ON YOUR TOUR, WHAT DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT TO WHAT THE 20 MILLION AUSTRALIANS HAVE WHO HAVE BROUGHT YOUR ALBUMS FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS. PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME, THEN PERHAPS I WILL BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THIS BETTER, AND EXPLAIN IT TO MY FELLOW DISSAPOINTED AUSTRALIANS WHY THE QUEEN OF POP IS LETTING US DOWN. WHY SHOULD WE HAVE TO JUST SETTLE ON BUYING THE DVD WHEN IT COMES OUT, FUCK YOU.. THIS JUST TELLS ME THAT YOU MUST REALLY THINK VERY LITTLE OF AUSTRALIA, AND MUST NOT HAVE MUCH RESPECT FOR US AT ALL. EXTREMELY DISSAPOINTING AFTER ALL THESE YEARS MADGE.
THERE IS NO EXCUSE YOU COULD COME UP WITH, THAT YOU COULD NOT OVERCOME OR CHANGE TO MAKE THE TOUR TO AUSTRALIA HAPPEN. YOU OWE IT TO US AFTER WE HAVE SUPPORTED YOU, AND SPENT MILLIONS OF OUR DOLLARS IN CONTRIBUTING TO MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE TODAY.
VERY DISSAPOINTED FAN HERE.
Ive been saying this for ages, this blog is a place for Andy to vent as he has no real friends to talk to.
As for the nasty comments, GET A LIFE, she may be 50 but she aint desperate, the only person who wants to fuck ARod is CRod and YES Madonna should sue, try looking up the word SLANDER you daft twats
The only true and faithful REAL friends one can trust in life are Jesus and God.
Obviously!
Most turn on YOU eventually.
Then there are the ones we can easily do without, of their belittling condescending bs. that no one wants to hear or need.
Oh yeah, almost forgot, i trust my SELF.
You make only a mockery of YOU, in your belittling approach with me, who sees the condition of your soul as one who does not search for Jesus and God, a prisoner of your own mind, in chosing to turn towards the hypocrisy heart, chinadoll.
as for friends, i am selective who i invite into my inner circle, where most i passby, depending on the condition of their soul.
actually, you may be shocked in knowing the friends in my inner circle.
Like Jesus said, “God casts no one out of heaven. He does not have to…they do it on their own, in all their unloving conduct.”
Don’t mind me, i am merely one who stands in the kingdom of heaven with Jesus and God. ha.
i jest not.
your loss, not mine chinadoll.
why not delete the blog if the words of Jesus and God, and a student of God are uninteresting for you?
Bonjour my darlings…Quick Hello..Nice was tuff, things went wrong. .Cardiff was so smooth the crowd was amazing,thanks for all your support …i’m in the studio tomorrow with a top DJ to remix ‘Miles away’ , i feel so deep about this song the last time i felt like this was ‘live to tell ‘ xXx
don’t mind me…i am an emotional wreck lately…toxic at times, what with my recent break up…normal reaction to so much unbelievalbe behaviour of controling others of me…
i realize it is of my own inconsistency of behaviour with my ex, and i am to blame mostly for everything.
i just want to get back to the calm Andy i used to be, without feeling abandonment guilt and all the toxic feelings i am currently experiencing.
deep breaths…biking is helping me alot.
When it comes to the TRUTH, we know only love is good enough for us all. We push forward in what the world needs to stay connected with, sincere fun loving SELF.
So always know and feel the TRUTH that is of You and me, as we are learned of many things that others sadly are not.
Positive and Negative forces clash in the world daily within everyone’s day, as the positive energy pushes out the negative, growing, just as we have.
I have lost my footing…and these damn high heels are hurting bad! ha.
You know how it is for tours, by the end of it, the last shows, you feel relaxed, wondering why you where uptight in the first place…uncertainty that gets pushed out as we become centered in stepping forward, shining brightly into the darkness.
It is not about us, so much as it is for sake of them, and that is what you music has always been about, unconditional love.
Why? Because we care, just as Jesus and God care about us all becoming the enlightened sincerity pure and true of the core of everyone’s BEing.
Ya, i like that song. For me it reminds me of how we take time out to reflect, slowing down into grace(decending into grace where we learn thru sincerity, as Jesus says), and think our feelings, rather than ego. Sorta like writing a love letter to someone we deeply love and care for.
Song writing, to me is love letters meant to be felt, for sake of nurturing the reader, for sake of those who hear, by means of their feelings.
i have come enjoy dwelling in writing lately, of self reflection, self-actualization, self-discovery, such as our own fearlessness we feel at times. Your music has always had a fearless sense that grew as the years went by. At what point does fearlessness become 100% i wonder. For me, pure fearlessness is connected with pure sincerity, and love devoid doubt, macro thinking wisdom, all woven into a feeling that is incredible to feel, where doubtfulness fades away and viewed as something useless and unwise, of the world as Jesus says, not of we who are loving.
Jesus was just a man, but he tapped into something of knowingness, that today, is frowned apon as something of a crazy person. ha.
You think you got worries, i am worried they will chemically straight jacket me like they did my brother, who is still sadly instutionalized, shut down, broken hearted.
I don’t think i be talking about God with them! ha. Nope! I will wear the mask they want to see.
For you it is great, as you get to just be YOU, so fun loving and full of joy, like that of your own children who are fun loving, accepted by all who feel your inner joyfulness.
Out here, it is a bit more difficult with so many who are doldrum mentalities that tend to weigh down our spirits, the work class stiff mentality i suppose, and yet, the dance floors await us all, so long as there are the enlightend artists in the world who keep us entertained.
A sense of responsibility for you at times, and yet, it is your real self that is shining thru.
I saw the video Rosie did of you from above, and the real YOU was shining brightly, of fun loving sincerity that is true of YOU, although there was a certain lacking of zeal, like something was missing in your world, that i felt, a sorta uncertainty or insecurity, unlike your previous tours of the decades past, and yet more enthusiastic than previous.
Hey, we should chat more often! ha.
just ignore my rantings. ok?
Ok. deep breaths…i love YOU, because YOU love me!
Because YOU loves us all.
Here comes another blessed day for us all…well ok, for some, as many there are in the world who are suffering greatly.
Oh, yeah, i was reading about what suffering is, and what it is not, from the view point of Jesus and God. It is not what we think, as most think only on the surface, rather it is of the deeper level of feeling, of one suffering for example, where they come into a knowingness of how the world really is, uncompassionate for example, where the suffering actually serves their hearts, by means of the coming into a knowingness of the world and of their own self-discover, as to the depth of their own loving heart, mind, body, spirit and soul. In that sense, suffering is something good for a soul, albeit, a growing experience that is healing for them, albeit, their should not be any children in the world suffering, who do have any fortitude of unstanding to grasp the truth, that the world is an unloving world, and rather they feel only what it is that they feel, completely unloved.
Our empowerment and motivation, as bright as the sun, an eternal truth of the past, present and future generations.
In the eyes of Jesus and God, all souls of the earth are Children of self-awareness, learning and growing in certainty of what matters most in life…Love.
For me, having grown to a level of love devoid of doubt, finding of a soul mate of the same depth, is something i realize i may not get to experience in the physical realm, hence my self-reflections that i leave for others to ponder, for sake of them to be of the sincere diligence and determination that is needed to overcome the crucial lacking of desire for wisdom that grips the world for so many souls.
My best friends in life are psychologists, and students of psychology, conducive interation that is healthy for me, a student mentality like their own.
honestly, i don’t what is really happening to me, and have yet to sit down with the depth of the love devoid doubt feelings i feel in my visions with Jesus.
For me, the visions is not something bad for me at all, and actually incredible for me, although the mental health community may have a different opinion, so i keep myself about the visions, because of the personal growth i have feel occuring over many years.
Hey, there’s a new one for ya! ha.
Ya. It revolves around our pure sincerity of love, that i suspect you have felt and know about, love devoid of doubt.
I will slow down and write extensively on it.
The most significant aspect about it is the standing still aspect where we sense the uncertainty that grips the world, in our descerning of truth ability by means of the pure sincerity feelings, sight returned to the soul.
I love being deliberate in just feeling the souls of many, who do not comprehend the macro level and sincerity as they pass by. I am a mad scientist, watching the world around me with complete awe and disbelief most days! ha.
i am not disconnecting from you, because i suspect you know the love devoid of doubt feeling, in your own personal growth, although at the same time, i do not wish to alarm you in any way, as you the most dear to me in life, of any have met or shall meet, along with my short meeting with Matt, another pure soul like our own, yet unjaded by the world.
I cannot turn away from the purity of my own soul, as it is not possible. It is who we are, of a level of sincerity that many do not reach for or attain, at a cognitive level like we do, fearlessness and confidence that is good for us, and those we love.
So, so long as you wish, i shall remain forever true to you as a friend, forever true to me, unable to turn away from someone so dear to me, beyond words.
admittedly, i am lying about my feelings for you. i am too afraid to allow myself to believe something that may be true for you too.
and so friendship i accept as the only thing we will ever be.
oh oh.
oh no…the cat is out of the bag, as they say, as i laugh in finally have spoken sincerely with you.
i did sorta hint at a few times, did i not?
i don’t to allow my inner happiness to be dashed of a dream i onced dreamed, trying hard to let go, thinking to myself, ah, it was just a dream, and yet, deep within, i know was just a dream, of my inner happiness that is real for me in my thoughts of a you and me, thoughts i have had since i first started thinking about you.
there, now you truly know the truth.
you would feel and understand perhaps my fear of a dashed dream that felt true for me, where rather than feel fear, i let go?
If you’re feeling guilt, feel some un-guilt because I am being treated with respect at last. I have feelings too.
ya. i was thinking about you all week, of my own uncertainty in knowinging how you (truly) feel, and yet at times certainty of your feelings for me, that i have felt numerous times, and of my knowingness of issues and how one feels while experiencing them. But then i see the kids, hoping and praying everyone is healthy and happy.
It is not up to me. It never was, and never will be, but at least now you know the truth of me.
i am not a home wrecker with an agenda. i know i am a loving brother to all, respectful in speaking the truth, unafraid of consequences in having spoke the truth to all, knowing my love is my life. If i have put people on notice in doing so, well good for them, is it not?
I fear for everyone caught up in serious life issues.
People don’t know how life plays out, often times until it is too late and serious things happen, like my loss of Troy that devastated me, and still, i am devastated, painfully wiser.
May his life serve us all of the truth in just how serious life issues are. It sobered me up instantly, at a deep level that my inner five year old felt, that my entire life passed into, finding myself standing there, where i still see him laying dead on the road and me kneeling at his side, humbled before God.
Time has stopped for me.
I can only repeat what I just said. No situation is ever perfect, and we can’t always have evrrything how we would like it, but the trick is to focus on the positives. And it’s then often the case that we find out things have worked out for the best and everyone ends up happier. I am serious about things.
frozen in the moment, emotionally, spiritually, physically, of the grace of my five year old within, who was so angry with me, while keeping a diary, he just kept striking at the page with a pen, telling me to just feel, and not write about it, where it was important that i feel what it is important, my own loving self that loved Troy. At first, i was not sure if it was Troy’s spirit or my own that was striking the blank page with the pen, and yet i knew it was me that feeling the depth of my love for him, that of my entire life that lead to that day, knowing i wanted to spend the rest of my life with Troy. I did tell Troy i wanted to be with him forever. He knew i was deeply in love with him, having cryed many times while with him, expressing myself to him.
I’m not saying I’m perfect in relationships – far from it. I think I must be incredibly frustrating and hard work sometimes. And I am a bit strange, but who isn’t. OK, I’m very weird and strange. But I do feel there is something there. I think our joint weirdness would work/cancel. It would be … er … “unconventional”!
I tear my hair out thinking about how things should have worked out for me (and you). I dunno. Just insane.
So I’m warning you very clearly in advance in the clearest language: I am exceptionally weird and strange and hard work and very very frustrating for much of the time. I want to be very clear about that.
Now it has been said.
You can’t turn around and say I didn’t warn you.
I want to live a healthy life like a Christian does, who are just their loving selves 24/7, of serenity and peace all around them.
I am living the life of a Christian now, and have been since Troy died. It has taken along time to come free of the old self i once was.
I know my life will not be that of a True Christian, if ever i allow alcohol into God’s house of love and peace. Without doubt, i know my true divine self, and his desire to be forever free of these things, and his desire to be sincerely joyous and happy, and is, and will be, with someone also of the same path.
Ha! As kids of imagination, we were weird, were we not? And still are? Not strange at all for me.
I know who i am…who i always was.
Yes, you make a good point: if you’re weird yourself then other weird people seem normal. And normal people seem weird.
Some people at first think we are wacky, what with our fun loving approach to the world. In that regard, we are of the same spirit, are we not. It is what connects with each other and the world, the truth we know of ourselves, and in so doing, that of everyone, that of the inner joyfulness and happiness within all.
Our desire has always been to nurture and protect that of ourselves, naturally becoming self-actualized, naturally assisting others in self-actualization merely be being ourselves, and getting paid great attention in doing so, yes? Where everyone wins!
Blessed are YOU and ME, forever free to just BE, for sake of thee, for sake three. You are of my daily prayers with Jesus and God, the real YOU i have come to know, no different than me, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, phsyically.
Our work is our play, where every step is of our divine true self.
Worry not of how i feel about you, for i love you completely. I have for along time, and in my knowingness of how that love has grown within me, i desire it to keep growing, just as you do, so don’t ever wonder if my love is able to change, for it is the love my true divine self, unable to change, because the divine true self is of becoming or restored into the purity of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul.
i love her with all that i am, ever becoming what i am.
Honestly, the world is not ready for us, and never was, still ain’t!
Truth is, they don’t know we are of the advanced level.
Lunchtime
Always know that we too are yet growing. It is important to be of the humbleness of awareness of the truth of such. That’s how i connect to Jesus and God, where it is my divine true self that is growing richer of the wisdoms which protect the divine true self that is 100% pure and sincere, just as we were as kids…adult children.
Jesus was a mature adult child, merely a man, who knew he was merely a man, and he knew he was advanced in his understandings, praying we would reach beyond what he had reached. He expressed it, telling them directly, both those of the current time, and those of the future, who he knew are listening, to reach beyond what he had reached, knowing he would soon his life was short and would soon pass out of the physical realm. When i write, i know i am speaking the future generations as well, and this is of the purity of Truth words that don’t fail. Truth does not fail.
Ya. i have to go to work.
That was a step we needed to take, reconnecting again in purity and sincerity of heart, for sake of us, more for sake of the many.
i felt it coming on all week, knowing i was about to grieve something. i cannot lose your friendship. it would devastate me.
actually, i don’t think it is possible for us to lose our friendship, in our knowingness that it is of our divine true self.
I know i cannot turn away from that which i am, who is no different than YOU.
hmmm…two large letters, M M
Matt + Madonna!
now there is a secret i would love to know and tell!
oh yeah, i already did.
me and my thoughts eh?
Truly, i love YOU both equally, and always will, of the pure sincerity of love that is of our divine true selves.
I pray safe journey for all, just as i used to pray for safe journey of Troy, who i knew was snared by unwiseness of the world. I told him the bridge is out up ahead Troy, we need to get off this runaway train before we both die. This was around the time of breakins at the local LCBO store of the friends we were keeping.
Beware of the unwiseness which grips many souls of the earth, where merely slowing down into your our graceful (true) self, we are able to slowly reflect and dwell in our sacred place within us that is of pure certainty and knowingness of wisdom that sees(feels) with clarity, the TRUTH of these things we are 100% knowing of in our life, in the life of those we love.
Without doubt, in know 100% i do not want any thing bad to happen to Matt or YOU, or those you love.
without doubt Matt.
without doubt Madonna.
My love is Pure and True for both of YOU, that is of the loving respect of my own divine true self.
RESPECT MATT.
RESPECT MADONNA.
RESPECT JESUS.
RESPECT GOD.
RESPECT LOVE.
RESPECT PEACE.
RESPECT SINCERITY.
RESPECT TRUTH.
RESPECT YOU when you do.
RESPECT WISDOM.
of course, M&Ms still are one of my favorite candies!
without doubt…we love them, do we not?
It is not up to me, of who it is who chooses to BE a friend of mine, of who chooses to feel the words i write, of who chooses to reflect on my words that may help in deciding the direction of their own path ahead of them.
What is up to me, is who i choose as friends, which is everyone, just as Jesus and God do, obvious truth anyone can feel in the words i write, which is about the YOU of everyone…of the YOU of me…and YOU.
Me & Matt
Me & Madonna
Me and someone like Me.
Me! Me!
Pick Me!
as in Pick the YOU who is like Me.
or better yet, Pick the YOU who loves Me, where Me is YOU.
Hey! i heard that! ha.
It’s about Self-Actualization, and how we maintain it.
Just BE YOU!
and attract someone just like YOU!
Preferably a healthy YOU that attracts a healthy one like YOU.
Now it has been said.
Oh oh.
Houston? We have a problem! ha.
ah Houston?
what does unconventional mean?
“Oh! That kind of unconventional!” ha.
being out of the ordinary.
as in Extraordinary and Wonderous!
Ya. We always knew that about our SELFs.
Exceeding Joyfulness, like we felt as children, unafraid, so imaginative, purity of fun loving spirit.
i don’t know if i am fixable though…not without alot of practice, work, and sincere love.
Love fixes everything?
If the REAL YOU is Pure Love, and only Love is what YOU wants and deserves, then only Love is good enough for YOU…Love!
So who wants more of Love?
We all do.
When two Loves get together?
A most incredible thing happens. Fear disappears, cast out forever more, love devoid of doubt flooding over them. Those who find themselves in such a place, desire without doubt to always remain, where thoughts of love fill their minds full, pushing out all foolish unwise thoughts.
Jesus said, seek to BE filled, and yet not always full, to BE filled even more.
in other words, be what we are…thirsty.
in other words, loving feelings grow and increase to higher levels of value to us, just as wisdom grows, but only if we are of the descerning wisdom that realizes fully what plagues the world…’Crucial Lacking of Desire for Wisdom’…of SELF. BE thirsty.
If one does not desire to drink, then how is one able to quench their thirst?
If one does not decern between drinking of sweet, over bitter, then how can one remain sweet, sweetie?
~ common sense.
As Jesus says, “Where our hearts are(bitter or sweet), there too is our treasure and our life…at all times. What we turn towards(embrace), we become…at all times. Turn away from the hypocrisy heart and turn towards sincere loving feelings of the divine true SELF. YOU.”
We can serve both bitter and sweet side of ourselves, as most do, and yet, it is uselessly absurd to do so. Unfortunately, the world does not conduct itself as nurturing and protecting of our delicate sensitive divine true self, leaving us feeling isolated and alone at times, toxic, afraid, overwhelmed, feeling unloved, and yet these very feelings is what makes for what the divine true SELF is…beautiful!
Hey M, don’t down while sitting on top of the world, with a best friend at your side forever more.
Holy fuck, how the hell did you get up so figing high up in the tree?
i ain’t comin up their to get you, so you will have to come to me.
opps.
Every sincere loving step one takes, is always in step with Jesus and God’s purity and sincerity, of their divine will for us to be of the fearless willingness to feel our sincere loving feelings, so pure and true, like we do, and are.
i am…because we are…of the God’s divine will for us to be of the fearless willingness to feel our sincere loving feelings, so pure and true.
YOU know who YOU are, of many i have come to know.
With flowers in my hair, i don’t care, if they stare, apon the one inside them all that yearns to BE forever FREE, to just BE the ME of all of YOU, that yearns to always ME!
ok, that sounded self -centered, rather than the truth, centering of SELF.
the hyprosy heart views it one way…bitter.
the enlighted joyful Real Self views it the other way…sweet.
opps…a word is missing.
flowers in hair
without a care
when they stare
i truly do care
apon the me
inside them all
that yearns to BE
the YOU in me
hmmm…that sorta has a sexual overtone
once a month, they bring me crayons for the plain white walls, that are so boring!
no not really, i am not institutionalized…(yet).
ya, there is no such thing as perfect, but if we truly love someone utterly and completely, they can do and say anything they want, so long as they too love us utterly and completely, like a childhood friend we grew up with, of not desire to be apart, granting and respectful of their boundaries(space) and independence, of what works for them as needed.
A truly respectful approach of the delicate true nature of the other, where indeed, we all have days of uncertainty and need our space, for however long they need it.
The key word is RESPECT.
Respect the loving soul, approaching them as YOU desires to be approached, tender and loving at all times, of low tolerance for inappropriateness, and rightfully so.
Out in the world, we are inundated by inappropriate others some days, where i have seen myself overly sensitive to inappropriate behaviour, abreactions that come on, questioning if i am having an over-sensitive day, or if it is my lowering of tolerance(or both).
Unrealistic expectations of others is a necessary reality check as well, that serves those who are of commited relationships, such as family, yet inappropriate behaviour should not be given the green light that is ok when it occurs, as it serves no one when we do.
ya, i am serious about things too.
i have thought about your feelings alot, of the sincerity that we are, pure and true.
i do know the purity of you. The whole world knows, which is such a beautiful thing that has stirred the souls of millions.
At first i thought, oh don’t go there. But i then i thought about what i know to be true of me, that may be true of you, while you are alone, in dwelling with your sincere feelings, of truths that are rays of light feelings for me, pure and true, that feel amazing, leaving me wanting more of that!
After awhile, i started to wonder, is it possible that she is…?
I actually arrived at a special place in time, that made me feel yes, it is true, to turn around, and repectfully ask if it is ok for me to stay awhile, as i too yearn to stay?
But be warned, i am crazy…for YOU!
Our friendship is a life long friendship we both wanted and wish to keep?…best friends in life forever more, you shall have of me, but why do i sense it is more than that, where my own sincerity awareness of my own sincere loving feelings, senses we are of the same level or degree of purity of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul.
To describe the feeling?
Love utterlly and complete devoid of doubt forever more. I see you in a calm joyful state, that is far more mature and less afraid than i am, and yet we are the same in our love for one another, that is devoid of doubt.
i am here to ask if my visions are true, because the purity of the visions, seems to have a true connection with you, not an imaginary one, where an imaginary one would be doubtful in feeling for me. I am not about imagination in of how i feel in my visions of Jesus, and in fact my visions are more real and enjoyable to me than that of real life, full of certainty that is about my divine true self that most do not know, or take time to know me, of my true peaceful state of pure grace, and thoughts only of love, and compassionate love for those sadly snared by bitterness of the hypocrisy heart i see and feel of so many, such absurdness they are some days.
Good Morning!
if you have been waiting, forgive me, so too have i been waiting…how many years now?
Like i said, i am have been afraid to know the answer all these years, watching you grow as you have, into the certainty of sincerity that surrounds you now, knowing at some point, maybe she would turn to me and say, what i’ve to hear, and have heard.
like you wrote one time, “i am here, just for you.”
only love do i feel for you.
There was a day, in quiet reflection, i came to an awareness level that is 100% pure and true, devoid of doubt, in my loving thoughts of you, where i realized that the purity of the loving sincerity i was feeling, is what Jesus and God are about, of what Jesus and God want for me to always feel, for us all to feel, free of useless anxiety, ego and untrue thoughts that are not of the loving sincere divine true self.
Of all the things i have come into awareness about, it is of that feeling i want for everyone to know and feel how it feels, that is true of them, of the core of their being, knowingness i have come into, devoid of doubt.
Nurturing, protecting and maintaining the feeling?
Not an easy task if we are not deliberate in approach, like meditation, yes?
Our openness with one another, indicates to me that you know the feeling already, perhaps wondering how stable minded i am in my own certainty of what i consider the most signficant self-discovery of all.
Granted, i have (acted) like an immature moron most days, hiding as i have, trust that has been building over time, like my own trusting relationship with Jesus and God, i don’t wish to hide from someone who may love me, who may want to love me, who is deserving of my sincere love for them, who i want to feel what it is that i feel, that i now feel is already true for you, perhaps long before my arrival before you.
Without doubt, i do not to tarnish or deminish the feeling, and will continue to nurture and protect this of me, becoming it more and more daily, as Jesus says, in my seeking of those who are conducive for my positive mental emotional well being, meditation, prayer, and conduct with you.
Forgive me for hiding behind my egotistic mask, for i don’t wish to any longer.
To describe myself, i am a student in quiet study, calmness of the sincerity of my divine true self, of an uncluttered mind that sees past the immature behaviours and conduct of most in the world, seeking what is of the higher divine true self, that yearns to come forth in the world like we do, of exceeding joyfulness and wisdom that is of the knowingness about all souls of the earth, of motivation to write, reflect, spend time nurturing those who merely need our time, a hand to hold.
I am compelled that there, for sake of all souls, that need to know it is not about ‘keeping up with the Jones’ mentality that seems to rule the hearts and minds of so many, so bitter they can be, so empty of grace and loving sincerity.
I see so many who are down and out, unaware of the most signficant thing need to come into awareness of, their own loving sincerity, pure and true.
Of all souls of the earth, truly i know, love devoid of doubt is the greatest feeling one shall ever feel, of the visions i have of Jesus, of my knowingness that it is of God’s divine will for us all to know the feeling, to come full awareness of the certainty that comes with feeling the feeling, indeed, love devoid of useless absurd doubt is the most beautiful feeling in life.
How does one instill that in another, for sake them to come into the awareness of themselves and the knowingness that love devoid of doubt is what matters most in their entire life, of understanding to search for, feel and know, of understanding how nurture and protect, of understanding of how to instill in another?
The only way to instill it in another, is to become Love devoid of doubt, of our conduct that is not so much deliberate, and rather what we have become, albeit, deliberate in our approach of how to become Love devoid of doubt.
I look at it this way, why not just BE who YOU are, rather than be who you are not, where it is more loving and sincere to just BE your divine, delicate, graceful, sensitive, sincerely loving true SELF? YOU.
Let others love YOU for who YOU are, and when they don’t, then it is just as well, when they don’t, is it not? As we are deserving and yearning of only LOVE, yes?
Jesus says to be a passersby. Don’t be afraid to passby those who do not take time to know YOU, to sincerely love YOU, like the many who snear at us.
There are many who i sincerely connect with, snared by substance abuse, who need encouragement to become fearless enough to walk away from the path(rut) they find themselves in, that i take time with, but i don’t welcome them into my sanctuary, passing them by until another day.
Every day counts, in our conduct with everyone we meet, even of our expressing intolerance for inappropriate behaviour of others.
As Jesus says, “Do not do what YOU hate doing.”
Then Andy comes along and says, “But there is nothing i hate doing!” ha.
i jest.
Sometimes we get intimately involved with someone who may not be healthy enough for us, in meeting our needs on a regular consistent basis, for what ever reasons, disfunctional, emotionally unavailable, insincere of love for you, whatever, that feels toxic for us after awhile, in our own hurried rush, of our needs not being met for example(often the case), jumping to quickly into a relationship we did not take time(in BEing our true self) to feel thru of how may really feel about them.
i speak from my own experience.
Then a day comes where we wake up and wonder how we arrived where we are, as our true self takes back control of our life, and starts breaking things! ha.
No! Don’t break that! It is a one of kind! ha.
Allowing our sincerely joyful fun loving true self to be held hostage, is of our own choosing, in most cases, where dynamics for allowing such, can be of many different issues, such as a substance abuser involved with another substance abuser, where one becomes free of continued chronic use, of no desire to continue and where the other partner chooses to continue. While the relationship may have started out with the dynamics of familiarity of same behaviours, when one partner grows out of such, becoming healthy and centered in their true self, we wake up and find ourselves feeling toxic during our transition of restoration of our divine true self.
Bin there. done that.
Life is the greatest teacher.
Oh, we can pretend for along time, but eventually, we start breaking things! ha.
Remember that video of duality you made. I love that video! It’s so true of our divine true self.
i am here, just for YOU!
“ah Houston, could repeat that last transmission?”
“Houston, we’re not recieving. There appears to be a density in the atmosphere outside, that may interfering.” ha.
im bad…i know.
am i so really so strange and weird?
Maybe at first, our delicate sensitive true feelings may feel strange and weird, but given the right enviroment, we come into the knowingness that the delicate feelings is of our divne true self that is graceful and sincerely loving, in our true knowingness of who we REALLY are, and not what others may project onto us of their own unresolved junk that is not true of the divine true self.
“ah Houston, we’re still not recieving. Not sure if you are hearing us or not, yet we know our transmissions are of a stronger signal strength than that of yours. We’re gonna take a break for awhile, thinking maybe the current atmospheric conditions may be (responsible) for the interfering with our nightly transmissions, perhaps trying again in the mornings.” lol! ~ get it? ~ wet dreams! haha! Love it!
ok, perhaps i am strange to some, but at least i KNOW my SELF, fearlessly unconcerned of what others may think, of my education in psychology on knowingness of the divine true SELF, who is who we always were.
It takes alot of practice BEing our SELF, and conducive enviroments and atmospheres that are healthy.
Trust me on this one, where i have seen myself surrender to someone, of the horrible feelings of being rape by someone i do not truly love. Don’t ask.
We hurt ourselves in the end, and no, not that end when we do or continue to do, allowing our own divine true self to be held hostage in intimate relationships we realize we should of avoided in the first place.
i speak of my own experience that others too may be experiencing, merely that of my own self reflections of my long life lived.
Today i know my divine true self well, that yearns for the delicate sensitive loving lover like that of my SELF, of what i know to BE my type, in my descerning of who is my type.
Don’t rush into BEing involved in intimate relationships, until YOU are 100% certain that the one YOU love is indeed someone YOU wants to spend their life with. We’ve all done it. As you say, the trick is to undo the unwise approaches, leaning from life experience, looking to the positives of how the divine true self REALLY feels.
Today i am FREE, filled with positive feelings to set my SELF free to BE who i am and always was, delicate, sensitive, mild, gentle, calm, peaceful, and sincerely loving of another who is like my SELF.
Do YOU know who YOU are?
“Houston, we are still not recieving, so we are gonna try switching back to the other channel, and see if that works.”
omg! ha.
Look what you’re bring out in me!
Truly, i am FREE, to just BE!
Like that old match book cover from decades past said, “Just BE YOU!”
The i truly and sincerely LOVE…Love!
blessings to all.
The ONE i truly and sincerely LOVE…Love!
The ONE within us all.
Tom Hanks is my one of my favorite actors, of a sincerity approach i suppose, that i connect with.
i do see my SELF as corny, albeit, corny, rather, i see my SELF as somone searching for something tangible, something sweet, of my own sweet loving SELF, with ‘that’ of another, of ‘Love devoid of doubt’, i know of my divine true SELF, that i know shall one day find and experience, of a tangible sweet loving experience in the physical realm.
It will happen day for me, and has happened, albeit, the love devoid of doubt we experienced while with them, was fleeting at the time. We all come back to what we all search for, of the core of our BEing, within everyone.
I pray for all souls of earth, to one day come fully into the knowingness of the greatest treasure ONE shall ever discover of their SELF…Love of doubt, sincere and true within, sincere and true of another.
It is of Jesus and God’s blessing and divine will for us all, ‘that’ we become the willingness. As Jesus said, “It is our willingness that is of most importance.”
Always know, that what we look for has already come, Kingdom Hearts, the special part of every soul.
*sp error*
i don’t see my SELF as corny.
do you really think i am corny?
ah, who cares what anyone thinks of us.
think for your SELF.
BE a leader, not a follower. Follow your own sincere loving feelings of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, in order for your soul mate friends and lovers to find YOU, those who are indeed, no different than YOU.
ok…a bit too personal for this blog. swtiching channels.
Hi beauty, you have the chance to have a good friend, keep it forever,friendship is very important,but it really doesn’t matter if you like to kiss her.lol
i hope one day you make a concert in Porto,(portugal),in the dragão stadium,,please i never see you,give me that joy.
big kiss
It’s about true loving feelings, pure and true of us all.
always will BE, what i am.
…someone to BE loved.
only love is good enough, of what i sincerely pray for daily, exactly like others who are pure and true in their heart, praying love for another.
without doubt, i will praise and love him forever more.
without doubt, i will praise and love her forever more.
i too yearn for love just as YOU do.
Stop with your shit, please!
come on come to Porto..madonna please
and you’ll drink the wine,big kiss
indeed…you are wise of YOU and me.
BE of your exceeding joyfulness in having a true and faithful friend for the rest of your life.
truly, i am…like you.
in our calm loving stillness, pure and unafraid of the world that surrounds, united as ONE spirit that feels the delicateness of our divine true self, sensitive to everything, in every passing moment.
would love to meet you someday…of your choosing.
feel purity of the pure feelings which are indeed pure and true, unable to change, our sincerity connection that does not change nor fade, of our knowingness of the purity of our pure feelings in our just BEing, easily felt while in calm settings of twilght and tranquility as souls(spirits) which travel the earth, feelings of beauty in each passing moment, in our knowingness that we do indeed have a true and faithful friend who loves us without doubt.
indeed, i feel it too in each passing moment, growing in each passing day.
It is the treasure found, of our WILLINGNESS to just BE, of the feelings of what just BEing is, know known.
Indeed, the treasure is our purity feelings of everything all around us which flow and eb, of love, of compassion, of wisdom that feels with clarity the truth of all things we look apon and hear, our fearlessness that is not afraid of our purity feelings, even of the dismay of conduct some souls which are sadly snared by unwiseness of conduct of the many souls we come across each day.
We are of the compassion of Jesus and God, united as one with them, of their pure blessing apon us as ones who fearless come before them, in our knowingness that they will apon us ‘that’ which is goodness of restoration and maintaining our divine true self to fearless wise loving compassionate state…enlightened ONEs which affect/effect the entire world of all souls, directly/indirectly.
~ knowingness of what it feels like to BE and enlighten ONE choosen by God who is only loving of us, not ‘that’ of what the world thinks in their unknowingness that is not yet of purity of our knowingness, of the many things God reveals clearly for us to know we are chosen.
the future is unfolding as it should, of God’s divine will.
God is not fearful, rather it is the unwise world of souls which are snared by fearful controling others, is it not?
blessed BE this day and the days to come.
YOU know who YOU are.
i am…because we ARE.
Andy,
Help me i’ve just been cast out of Heaven and into Hell, Jesus you think God could have compromised alittle met me half way..
Anyone know the right path to purgatory ??
dont worry about it Andy i’ll find my own way..i’ve got map’s & a GPS,
im used to being lonely, less baggage to carry when’s there’s only one set of clothing, now where’s my stilettos ?
awch there they are, wedged in the back of my head,,
Doctor, im bleeding,
i need some blood. quick hurry before i die..
Not !
All right All right
i’m dead
God
Lest me rest in peace then
Visit me occationally, if you want
Red Roses
my favourite
and a candle
Blog’s closed? That’s it.. no explanation?
well if you carn’t beat them, i say you may as well join them..
see you soon
make some room
i’ll make you notice me
I just sent an email to Andy asking him not to post miles of off-topic stuff on my blog. I think that’s fair. Real people actually read my blog.
People who post on-topic sensible comments are MORE THAN WELCOME to post on my blog.
(I do have rules in my life, I’ll admit. I like rules. Though I’m not really aware of it. That has caused friction in my relationships in the past.)
if people don’t know how to post a comment in a more or less a normal way the only choice for M to do is close the blog! i think that the amount of comments are a good reason for this to happen mostly the comments by Andy and hes friends here and in the other blog ….
correction :
if people don’t know how to post a comment in a more or less a normal way the only choice that M have is close the blog! i think that the amount of comments are a good reason for this to happen mostly the comments by Andy and hes friends here and in the other blog ….
I’ve never had a bad word to say about you, i wish you well always.
God bless you..
Love Mariah
Rules are made for breaking
Love is for the taking
Rings are for king’s
i’d just be happy if the whole world got up and started to sing.
Cool. We’re cool.
Leave Andy alone you boring old fart’s, go stick a pole up your ass if you’ve got nothing better to do, or get blind drunk like a skunk and call yourself Pepé Le Pew, and chase pussy’s all day.
What now i have to rewrite all my song’s.
I know,
i love it.
not too cool..warmth is good
I have absolutely no idea what any of that means.
Right, I’m going to have a shower and get to bed. Night all.
X
Im off to bed too,
Night Andrew, by the way your amazing when your like this, i like it, something about you today that’s very real i feel it very strongly, I like it, never felt your energy so intensely real like this before, and that’s definatly the best compliment i could ever give and receive.
thank you,
everything i have learned and continue to learn thru my attention to inner awareness in my on going growth experience has and will BE of the experiential experience of my interactions with all of YOU.
I am not about ego or hurting of anyone, least of all me, rather i am of what i have stated many times before, a humble curious student who is interested in restoration and maintainance of the divine true self within us all.
Many interpret what ever they wish to, just as we do of any art piece where everyone has a different experience according to how their life has been up until the very moment, where indeed, our entire life does greet us in each moment of life, subconsciously for some, cognitively for others.
i prefer cognitive awareness of certainty of conduct of descerning wisdom which takes time in fully surrendering to our inner grace, peaceful at rest, thinking by means of sincere feelings, descerning of words which are loving and not loving, wise and unwise, truthful of sincere SELF or false bitterness of the hypcrisy heart.
If we don’t take time to feel the difference of what feels bitter and what feels sweet, then we are of the ones who are not of seeker mode mentality, aimless in approach to life, sadly snared by unwisness of fate which tosses to and fro a person’s life, sadly learning often too late of serious life issues which could of been prevented.
Without doubt, life will greet each and everyone of you at all times, of the harsh realities of life which come your way, depending on YOUR CHOICES you make each and everyday, of whether or not you hear(feel) the call of God summoning your precious loving innocent souls to wisdom.
wise are they who pay heed to one who takes time to give advice of life learned experience, one of a certainty path of destiny rather than uncertainty path of fate such as ignorance of the true powerful effects of alcoholism and substance abuse which takes the lifes of precious loving souls each minute of each day.
I come in peace as a loving brother to all, and care not what any of you have to say or think of me, for many of you are not of my comprehsion at this point in time, not to be egotistical, rather, of the truth in my knowingness of the snares of ignorance which yet snares the precious loving souls of many of you, of how i know it statistically ends…badly.
I offer forth words of protective wisdom for all to drink from, summoning you to embrace awareness of the level of your ‘crucial lacking of desire for wisdom’, for sake of you, for sake of all those you love.
you make a mockery of only yourselfs in useless words of chatter which do not serve Jesus, God, nor YOU.
beam me up Scotty, no intelligent life down here! lol
oh, come on, i jest.
i take time to offer constructive critism which is meant as something of goodness for you.
those who fail to interpret my words as such, are not of their sincere graceful self in doing so, and rather of the disconnected superficial masks you all wear, including me somedays when i am weary.
just thought i would drop in for a moment, and will from time to time, as a fierce loving warrior of God.
hey, i like that new name.
FIERCE LOVING WARRIOR of GOD, with bubblegum pink nail polish.
if you are not fierce, do me a favour and stay home, ok? lol
i jest.
actually the demeanor my peaceful by nature natural true state, is like that of the graceful morning sunrise, calm and at ease for hours on end, of the preferred life i enjoy most…me.
I completey over steped my boundries, now and also recently as well, it was very insensitive of me to say the least, infact i think i was acting on my ego rather than my sincere self, i cannot take back my childish action’s what’s done is done, maybe for a reason, such is life,
Anyway this is a situation i rather not be in right now, because it perhaps is premature & just not healthy for both me and Andy right now in fact it’s more than likely the worst time but life never goes to plan,
Your courage to say goodbye was the courage i craved for then when it happended i played it on, if it was the other way round i would have be really hurt, as i expect you are no doubt.
Respect goes a long way & it’s about time i showed some, no exscuses,
Im not ready at all to take on the sensitivity of someone with so much on their plate at the moment, and my stupid actions prove that beyond doubt,
Im not closing the door and im not running away and im not anything else, except learning growing and trying my best,
all is good,
trying my best to keep it real.
nothing more nothing less.
hope that make some scense.
and both better from it all, ahh i need a holiday..
then dont we all…
i’d rather you did’nt respond to this message, because there really is no need to, you know i know, its not nessasary, i just had to get the word’s out thats all. Xox
At all times, God blesses us all, sadly unknowingly for most who are not of awareness, yet asleep, their divine true self yet submerged, sticking it’s head OUT, when environments are conducive enough to do so.
ok. whatever. go back to sleep. sorry if i woke you up.
well…ok…im not sorry.
with such a beautiful loving spirit like yours, why would i ever BE sorry to wake you up, of my inner delightfulness within me to do so, of someone who adores YOU utterly and completely?
always did! always will! duh!
you guys bore me some days. lol
im sorry, but truly you do, well not completely, alittle somedays, as in, “is that all YOU has to say?”
Ok. good then. we understand one another better now, yes, as likeminded students in seeker mode like we always have been, yes?
There is a truly fucked up world OUT there everyone.
As veterans, we must always remain connected with the sad truth of our loving brothers and sisters who are suffering thru the things we knowingly experienced of our SELF, as loving warriors and veterans of God, which i know i am and have been for along time.
12,981 blessed days to go.
blessings to all.
somedays i do take delight in annoying some of you, of my deliberateness to keep you awakened.
in case any were wondering who Andy is, a small tidbit about me approach with all of you, of one who enjoys watching and studying the human condition of every single one of you for hours on end, taking notes along the way.
Hi, im Andy! Do you know where i might find a copy of the English translation of the Nag Hammadi Gnostic Gospels written in early coptic and classical Greek of leather bound books that were burried in a sealed clay jar along the Nile river near the town of Nag Hammadi, in the Egyptian desert, carbondated to the third century, of such severely damaged fragmentation, full of lacumas, it took them eleven years to translate into English, of secret missing teachings of Jesus(God)?
Oh and get this, they say a peasant farmer found the clay jar burried, took it home not knowing what it was, where his wife used some of it burn in a fire to keep warm.
Warm indeed, shall one BEcome, of any who pick up and read the Nag Hammadi.
I prefer HOT or COLD over luke warm my SELF.
you guys are so luke warm…boring if you must know. lol
Ok, now get your seeker caps on and get out their and help me find the Holy Grail will ya?
Oh never mind, i ‘forgot’ i found it already.
ForgetFULness is indeed my greatest foe somedays.
sorry bout that.
my love is true for all of YOU…although i could do with a little less annoying ego which distracts me and others from the truth within us all…LOVE.
Seek and YOU shall find.
Beware. Where your heart is(focus), there too is your treasure and your life…at all times.
What you turn towards you BEcome(embrace)…at all times.
These are not my words, rather the missing words from the lips of Jesus, which were not part of the words edited in creation of the bible by the early church who sided with the Roman empire in their gathering of recorded words of Jesus, who taught alot of people the entire time he walked the earth, and not just of the words in the bible.
I will share something most may not BE aware of, the burial, and surfacing of these ancient books is of the Holy Spirit, of those who knew Jesus well.
ok. get out their on our sacred quest and see what you can find out about YOU.
blessed are the pure of heart.
Matt.
Do you know how blessed i feel in your return?
What you do not know about me Matt, is of my intellect of what Jesus and God wish apon us all for all souls unattended, unnurtured, unprotected, for your precious loving pure soul to remain intact as you are today.
YOU Matt, are my motivation, as well is the motivation of M.
i have prayed daily for your return, for a reason…to protect you from the unwise world which lurks, of great dangers of self destructive behaviours able to derail your precious loving life that i adore.
M is one who is most protective of us, including me, wishing us only to protect and nurture the goodness within us all. She is as wise as i am Matt.
much wiser actually.
i apologize to M for my inappropriateness of such demanding work she is currently engaged in.
forgive me M.
if my words keep you safe in life with Jesus and God in your life Matt, then my life has been one of purpose in the eyes of Jesus and God, of the very thing Jesus wishes for YOU.
I have seen how lives play out for many Matt, and the many i have sadly seen get derailed in life, all a result of lacking in wisdom.
it is my hope that my words with you increase your sincere desire for wisdom which protects and love which nurtures, because great and numerous are the harsh derailing unwisenesses in our path of life, everywhere we turn, the learned behaviours are there, enticing us, cajoling us to participate.
Unwiseness took Troy’s precious loving life Matt.
Don’t let them take yours.
i have delved into my inner pain over Troy to bring forth goodness for sake of you Matt.
Troy’s life was the most impactful event of my life, which is yet being healed within me, and why i get the way i do sometimes, of deep core unhealed pain.
i am not afraid of anyone’s opinion of me, in my knowingness of needed healing for me to become healthy again. A long road since 1993.
my chosen path of my CHOICE, is about SELF – ACTUALIZATION.
i leave these words of reflection for sake of you, for sake of all in my doing so, and maybe make some great friends along the way, of what we all need in getting our needs met thru good friends, where talking is one of our needs, unknowingly for many, and why i talk so much.
It is has to do with my Self-actualization process, and of course for sake of the focus of others apon my reflections of what i know is most important for the SELF of me, ie, such as our increasing value for sincerity of SELF to fearlessly embrace and feel their own sincerity, the most significant part of SELF in our self-actualization process.
i am no expert, but like M, i like to delve deep into the soul as she does for us all in all her music.
She is of the gift of blessedness 100% pure and true within, in my knowingness of 100% pure and true within myself which easily detects it within another.
Like her, i too know it is not something many people nurture and protect within their own SELF, much less SELF of another.
Truly we are wise of such in our approach with all of you.
thank you Matt.
you are focused in thought, and that is pleasing for me, knowing your path is of the desire for understanding, able to stear your life clear of the unwiseness in the world, of serious life skills you need make a part of your healthy approach to life, a wise leader, not a follower of ignorance.
It is my prayer that God bestow the greatest of wisdom apon your life forever more, as i endeavor in my quests of revealing truth wisdoms as a revealer. In the bible they speak of a revealer. I know i am one such enlightened person in life, of many in enlightened ones like my self.
There are scholars in the world of such amazing depth and understanding, dedicated lives to their cause for spiritual enlightenment thru wisdom. It is my single greatest passion in life, my theology studies. I am no scholar, but i know the difference of decerning wisdom between drinking ‘that’ which is sweet and good for the soul, and ‘that’ which is bitter, ie, hypocrisy(words of Jesus).
Jesus summons me to wisdom, and so i came to him daily for some 20 years now.
There is great enlightenment in theology and psychology study, of what i consider the greatest investment of ones time to embrace, greater than any investment of their time of anything in life.
Of all things i would wish for you, is for you to increase your value for understandings of psychology and theology, in that order.
pyschology is the foundation of my belief system, spirituality to the top of it.
ohoh, here comes M again.
shesshhh…don’t tell her im here. lol
i love so damn much, and she knows it fully in her heart that i do, by the way i love to entertain her, like she has all of us for decades now.
She is more than deserving of my time, she is deseving my life that willing and easily would surrender to her if she wanted me for a partner, without hesitation. i know the depth of my own soul, and she is there in the depth of my soul forever more.
i am blessed by my knowingness of my own depth of soul which she has nurutured and protected for many years.
i know i am more than a fan to her, of which i care not to explain at this time of no need to, just as she is more than a mere artist to me, far more actually.
best of all, i know without doubt, she always will be, forever remaining in the core of my BEing, someone i hold closet in my heart of hearts.
and if she says i am being chessy in saying this, i won’t speak to her…well…at least not today. lol
anyway. I need to give M some breathing space, as i have been troublesome in my soul of my own instability of life experience in my personal life, doing what one should not do, deal with serious psychological stuff so openly like i have at such a critical time as this, where she is of a massive multi-million dollar music production, asking forgiveness in doing so, as i take my place quietly in the background for awhile, for her sake.
once again M, forgive me of my inappropriateness, and yet, i have expressed myself well, something she loves about us all.
So please, rest in the knowingness that i am more than ok, of professional counsel in my life, working thru my issues that must be worked thru.
Serious life issues left unattended, do have the potential to manifest itself in your life everyone, so make your best friend in life a therapist of your choosing. You can thank me later. And remember, issues sometimes take years to work thru in our healing. Truly, i am one such person who knows this fully of my life experience.
I am proud to say, i am 14 years clean and sober, a survivor, where statistically, only 8% make a full recovery program like i have successfully done.
With the help of nurture confidence from M, Jesus, God and those of pure heart and sincerity along life’s road for me.
Thank you for BEing YOU, the YOU i have come to love of many of U.
Jesus loves YOU.
God blesses ALL.
Rio de Janeiro Dec 14 2008
Dec 14 2008 VIP
i think we have all come to a new level of sincerity, of my knowingness we have, of greater depth of soul, increased value of sincerity and grace, and of the joyful delight of loving purity of the divine true self within us all.
which was my main objective with you all.
i am just the puppet master. lol.
~ some jesus humor.
ok Andy, back to your cell.
oh man, it was just getting to the best part!
someone let me know how everything turns out one day, ok?
i pray everyone is ok.
Jesus says, “Love one another as i have loved you.”
that was my approach with all of you, to increase your value of love.
my knowingness is of the purity of feelings of the purity of heart and utter sincerity i have felt within many of you, which felt so good for me, each and every passing moment i was here.
what may not realize about me, is that is what is most valuable to me in my passing moments of each day, where feeling my feelings is what i enjoy most in life, of deep healing for me within.
Truly, my value of loving feelings is of the greatest value in anyone’s life, of what Jesus says is far greater than all the riches of the world.
truly, we SINCERELY are of the knowingness truth of these words Jesus spoke, are we not?
Good then…mission accomplished father.
i just know i will make a good film director one day, what of my director skills of the players of the world stage, yes?
Andy? shut up! lol
your spioling the moment.
hey, i finally found a pair of pink converse running shoes….
(Andy exits stage left, muttering on and on like he does, of any and all who will take time to listen to his endless bable, somewhat like a madman out in the street proclaiming God’s return, of such enthusiasm and delight in his voice as he leaves the staging area to go have a smoke break. After a few days, weeks, Andy did not return, leaving many to wonder, who was ‘that’ guy anyway)
~ a little inside humor between me and M.
Sweetest of dreams are of lovers dreams, of the many dreamy lovers of lovers dreams.
Oh dreamy lover, dream of me.
ok, i better go before M decides to kick my butt some more.
hey, what round is it?
and who won anyway?
we ALL did.
win win win
the only formula for true success…God’s formula.
It’s all Troy’s fault, he is the one who set it all in motion, changed my time line of life, arriving before you today.
we would of still been down at the lake had he not did what he did. I don’t think they even have a dance hall in the local town, and Andy never would of wore the clown outfit like he did, if it was not for Troy.
I was just his loving lover who still loves him more than my SELF…although i am working on loving my SELF, which is what i wished Troy had of done, loved himSELF more than he did, and yet, he truly did love himSELF much more than i loved my self at the time, albeit, his lack of self respect was an issue in his alcohol abuse, of which i sadly unwisely encourage in my own unwise behaviour.
~ lessons learned of love and life, is the only thing i feel is of any value in leaving behind for future generations.
Truly, without doubt, i wish Troy and i had of been taught the lessons, rather than learning like we did.
God bless you Troy.
Live your lives for sake of the precious loving soul of Troy who can no longer, of the unwiseness of the world ‘that’ to him from us all…’that’s my motto.
You would of loved Troy. He was magic spark like Matt spirit, vibrant, exceeding joyfulness within that lights up the room. Lucky is the one who marries Matt, but if they like to drink, you better make sure Andy doesn’t find out about it!
Blessings to you and those you love.
It is about what Jesus says is of the most importance, “Our WILLINGNESS.”
without our WILLINGNESS to look towards love and compassion and protective wisdom for sake of the divine true SELF, how else are we able to?
Truly, restoration, maintainance of purity and sincerity conduct ‘that’ is natural of the divine true SELF, is of our WILLINGNESS.
Without doubt, WILLINGNESS is what easily moves mountains, so easy for the fun loving divine true SELF, yes.
BE without doubt, your WILLINGNESS is of God’s divine willingness ‘that’ we BEcome God’s WILLINGNESS, in every step, every breath, every heart beat, every word uttered, of healing powers of our WILLINGNESS so brave and true, where indeed, we are.
i am…BE cause…we are…God’s divine WILLINGNESS for all souls of the earth to BEcome WILLINGNESS ‘that’ changes the world, and indeed, the world is changing, however slowly, it is changing for the better.
May God continue to Bless us all in our continued work of God’s divine will for ALL, united under ONE sky, ONE world, of the ONE eternal human BEing ‘that’ walks the earth thru safe passage of True Loving Compassionate Wise Life forever more, of the extraordinary wonderous feelings ‘that’ feel pure and sincere of us ALL, of what MATTers most in life, in our knowingness of what the greatest hidden treasure is, ‘that’ of just how good purity of loving feelings truly FEEL, where indeed, it is our FEELINGS which is sight restored to our souls.
‘That’s what is about. always was. always WILL BE.
Always.
Forever more.
stop being so afraid to talk about whatever YOU wants to talk about.
foget M’s rules, for she loves to hear us express our true SELF words and emotion, where in truth, she prods us to shut up, knowing it frustrates us more to express ourselves. ha.
So please, the stage is ours to share in life, where truly, openly talking with one another is what loving life is, fearless talking, which the divine true SELF yearns to BE and speak, for i know the divine true SELF within all of YOU, sincere and sweet like my own.
I continue like i do, hoping it instills fearlessness in all of YOU to JUST BE who YOU are to me, fearlessly loving like i am, of my yearning for sincere friendship with all of YOU, for sake of me, for sake of YOU, for sake of others who we are all affect/effect direct/indirectly thru others.
Sincerely, i want life long friendships with YOU all, if only YOU would BE fearlessly loving of me, like i am of YOU, like we were, so fearless, beyond most any in life, and still are, are we not?
im ok, alright? I was missing you the most Matt. So please, know that i do.
You are growing in confidence, and i am pleased to know that you are.
If you want my friendship, it is there for you to have.
If not, then don’t.
I just to know you are ok in life, of someone i came to love so dear to me.
You have no idea how much it hurt me in your leaving like you did, and yet, i sensed you were still there, praying you were, so that i could nurture you some more.
Anyway, i am getting all sappy again, gushing over your return.
i don’t fucking believe it, he came back! Well almost. You are coming back, yes?
I need some fun loving spirit around her, as these guys can get rather annoying somedays for me, yes? lol
That better not be someone pretending to be Matt. That would be insincere, and well, just wrong.
There is only one Matt in the world who i came to know, of pure heart, like my own, like Ms is, and Rosie too.
Im ok, alright. I get weary when i am over tired, that’s all, and if you knew what i went thru the past few weeks, you understand fully, and still, i am not done with my detanglement and establishing more safe and supportive networks of friends in getting my needs met to keep my positive mental emotional well BEing healthy.
Only thru a descerning Healthy approach to life do we lead a Healthy Life.
M is one such individual who knows this better than most any in life, of greater health of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, there is likely no other one alive as healthy as she truly is, of the one most do not know much about. I do. I was the one who told her to get and stay healthy long ago, and stop being so fucking lazy. lol
Truly, she is anything but lazy, yes?
God bless you Matt.
thank you.
don’t be so hard on your SELFs about forgiveness, as all is forgiven by God, in God’s knowingness of the stumbling blocks of the unwise teachings of the forefathers before us all which sadly yet grips the world.
What we need to BE is focused on a sincere approach with your precious loving heart, mind, body, spirit and souls, of which M is here to help us with.
As M says, “Never forget, we are your family.”
without any doubt whatsoever, the worldwide GLBT family is a REAL family of respect more so than of some of our immediate family snared by homophobia.
Those of homophic issues internally and externally, M is here to help us with.
Truly, i look forward to seeing concert, of my knowingness of what she is about, and has been about…the GLBT family, where she truly is to all of us worldwide in the GLBT communities…of our loving family forever more.
Not sure why i am writting so much, other than to say, seeing Matt return is of great joy for me, if it truly is Matt.
If not, inside we are not all so different, are we, in as much as we toss around our egotistic indifferences like we do, of all these useless words of seperation of the undescerning weak mindedness lacking in zeal and passion for loving life, where the words of Jesus resonate true, “If you are of spiritual poverty, indeed, you are spiritual poverty in outward appearance.”
Not of the Matt i came to know, so enthusiastic about his loving life.
Well, news flash, i am still as i was and have been for many years motherfuckers!
Trust me, there is nothing any of you can do to get me down, although somedays i am overly sensitive, but think that’s a good quality about Andy, of the same precious quality he is of knowingness in all of YOU, of the YOU Andy loves.
If anything Matt, it was your sincere attitude so fearless of exceeding exuberance and intensity which was is cause for my own awareness within, as in, oh ya, i remember feeling like that, the joyful fun loving high spirited Andy i know i yet am.
I am on such a downer right now, need to bust free of all this self-motivational experiential technique stuff, although the internalizing experience of it was good, yes?
I am on a quest for restoration of SELF, doing what i do at this point in my life, of my own focused approach of self in me. If it helped others too, then great, as there is good wine which flows forth in nurturing ability and protection from the unwise world, assurance, what ever spin you want to put on it, call it what ever you want…
~ experiential techniques is what it is
~ Jesus returns as a therapist?
nah, it’s just some psyche student working out his own stuff, trying to get healthy enough to attract healthy friends and lover(s) of the GLBT community.
just doing my part everyone, as someone who truly cares…without doubt.
without doubt, i care about Matt and always will, expect him to be as respectful of himSELF as i am of me.
wow!
obviously, i really did miss you Matt.
thank Matt.
Thank God for Matt, a precious loving soul like our own, more so than most, so you need not ever apologize to me, and get back to the fearless one i remember, so fun to be around.
The door to Jesus and God does not ever close, always there for anyone to turn to, if only the world would.
If the leaders of the world were of God, the world would not be the way it is, yes?
Where is loving sincerity in killing someone like they do in warfare? Is that something to teach a child to do, when in God’s eyes we are all yet children.
Truly, my knowingness is of God’s eye, ‘that’ indeed, we are all yet as children in all our better than the next person bullshit mentality of ego and hypcrisy like that of the self-serving business communities. Not all of course.
My point is this; the world is not yet of the FULL knowingness 100% true in their heart, mind, body, spirit and soul of what the greatest treasure known to mankind is…YOU, the delicate, sensitive, gentle by nature, sweet loving, sincere, Pure and true YOU ?
And will NOT be so long as the many useless distractions of life continue to distract the heart and mind away from encouragement of loving sincerity development of SELF, as priority number one in teaching of our children.
God’s divine WILL is for sake of us all living a truly more loving and blessed life than the one the world yet lives and is, of these many empty vessel approaches to purity and sincerity of the loving divine true SELF YOU.
It’s your life to live, love and lead…always YOUR CHOICE each and every second of life in development of your own belief system to a truly loving blessed life.
I know i will live such a life from this day forward, having cast out desire of anything less than what i am…a loving child of God who loves Jesus as much as Jesus loves me, forever more, loving of SELF within, of sameness of loving of SELF of others in doing so.
God bless you all, for you are loved by Jesus and God forever more…without doubt, where in truth, love devoid of any useless absurd doubtfulness like ‘that’ of the world is what the divine will of Jesus and God is.
Once you experience it, you know. I know Matt knows. I know Madonna knows too. I know Rosie knows too, what love devoid of doubt feels like.
That’s what MATTers to Jesus, God and me, and to all who come into the knowingness of how love devoid of doubt feels like.
When you know, you just know.
i know without doubt i love all of you without doubt.
and i would love to kick your butts for all eternity until you too feel what love devoid of doubt feels like, if ‘that’s ok with YOU? ha.
i am relentless, i know.
It’s not just about acheiving the feeling, it’s about maintaining it as well.
So if you don’t mind me annoying you all from time to time in my endless chatter with YOU of Jesus and God’s willingness to do, then don’t kick me out the door when i do.
ok, i will keep it to a minumum from now on, and post most of my research on my blog.
But be ready, as the flow of the fountain is able to intoxicate if you drink to much too quickly. I am leaving the blog for the future generations to ponder, so don’t feel like you have to rush thru it.
What?
am i some kind of a ghost around here, nobody speaking?
It’s just words of Jesus and God speaking to your divine true SELF what is nurturing and protective for you, meant for you to come into knowingness of sincere loving life with one another, and truly we are BEcoming ‘that’
thank you.
all of you. thank you. You have no idea how i love each and every one of you forever more.
sorry…i have the day off…i tend to write alot on my days off.
not ‘that’ of Jesus and God to ever take a day off of their wisdom and knowingness of truth which surrounds us all in each waking moment of life, obvious for the enlightened ones to see(feel) the truth of how the world really is.
Truth is everywhere.
Truth does not fail.
It is we who fail the truth of the purity and sincerity of the spirit of the loving divine true SELF within us all. YOU.
Just alittle wine for all you whiners. ha.
ok M. you can have your blog back. YOU know how to find me, yes?
i am much closer than most realize, as in the YOU in all of YOU.
Stop treating one another like YOU is any different from YOU in another, as ‘that’ is what breaks the sincerity connection of pure loving feelings we feel between one another, which is of the willingness of God for all to one day feel…love devoid of doubt that we are of the knowingness of.
It is God thru all of us, thru all souls eventually of the earth.
You’ll see(feel) soon enough, the truth of who i am, of who we all are, divine children of God.
i have alot of writing yet to go for anyone interested in me. lol
M is married, so forget that.
I remain a true and faithful friend to M forever more, and to Matt forever more.
It is of God’s willingness that i do.
ok, i am back over to my blog.
Matt, get your blog back up, if indeed you sincerely are the Matt i know.
maybe now i can get some sleep, and stop worring about you all like i do.
a mother’s job does not end.
i agree, no more useless drama queen, as i prefer real.
as in the real you in all of YOU, no different than the feelings in me….sameness….truth.
Truth ‘that’ is not able to fail, always of our learning of truth of our sincere pure feelings…i am.
i am…BE cause we are…truth for all to see and feel.
time for much need rest.
i’ll be back another day, with no more drama. on topic. it’s your blog M, not mine. run it your way. always.
thanks for listening to your feelings everyone!
after all, ‘that’s what true life is, the sincere feelings of YOU, some i can love who feels what i feel too….love.
i had to have the last word, you know ‘that’.
you don’t need me to know what ‘that’ is
although i am near anytime you want to chat, please do, as i am always of the willingness to listen, if only some of you would more often, like true and faithful friends do.
who does not want ‘that’ ?
again, thank you
God blesses ALL.
can you believe M dedicated the song ‘Like a Virgin’ to the Pope.
True fearlessness M
Bravo!
hey, i noticed you have a body alot like Cloud from Final X
ok. one final post.
Let always BE of the remembrance of who’s side we all are on.
Jesus’s side.
God’s side.
OUR side.
The side of
love
compassion
wisdom
‘that’ which pushes out of the world, all darkness of
hate
apathy
ignorance
for sake of us
for sake of others
for sake of children yet unborn
the future, always right here in the present, of our descerning wisdom to think with our loving feelings before speaking, of our one stream of thought in memory and knowingness of Jesus, who is only loving of us, just as we are only loving of each other and another along life’s road of many unwise stumbling blocks that derail pure loving sincerity of our tender loving true feelings for one another.
Truly, we want everyone to feel the purity of love which we feel and know of our knowingness of what God wants for all precious loving innocent souls born into the (yet) unwise world sadly snared by so much apathy and unloving, unbecoming conduct not of Jesus and God, nor should ever BE of us…ever. We know what unloving feels like, so why invite such into our own lives or the lives of others, our loving neighbors who are no different than we are, albeit, perhaps not (yet) of our knowingness of what pure sincerity of love feels like.
we know.
we always did know.
along time for some of us.
As Rosie says, “Life This.”
alright, i better go before i start crying again.
stop hurting one another like you do. Nobody wants or deserves it.
ok. thanks for sharing your sincerity we have come into the fullness of knowingness.
Let it be known around the world, that what we look for has already come, within every soul of the earth, the precious loving divine true loving child of God sincere and true of love devoid of doubt, yet unattended, unnurtured, unprotected, ever growing in our conduct which is BEcoming of Jesus and the divine true self within us all.
i’ll drop by from time to time, but for now, M needs to stay in the zone. Just make sure she does not cry while on stage, although it would be nice to see the real M i know.
God blesses you forever more Madonna, of this i know to BE true…without doubt like ‘that’ of the world we see and feel of all unbecoming conduct so easy for us to feel.
i love you. andy.
when love is true, you just know, by it’s radiant and bright light, on par with ‘that’ of the sun, lighting up the whole world, like loving lovers do.
i say, “BE THAT of what is TRUE of YOU, as i am of YOU.”
Truly i am, yes?
glad some of you understand, because sure don’t understand why people are so unbecoming of love ‘that’ is true.
Someone fill me in someday will ya, and talk to me like i really do exist, as sometimes i feel i don’t.
am i being too needy, or is ‘that’ what we all need? ha.
ok, i really have to go now, but not far.
when you are far away from me, i am near.
when you are near, i am far away.
so where am i?
Where we always want to BE found, in each other’s heart.
And indeed we are ‘that’, each others heart, mind, body, spirit and soul forever more.
BE pleasing of Jesus and God, and we are pleasing to the divine true self when ever we do, of what Jesus so desperately wanted us all to know…
…pure sincere love without doubt in each waking moment of each blessed day.
blessed BE this day in your hearts forever more, as you are in mine…forever more.
oh look, i just spammed Jesus and God.
‘that’ of me.
so i guess i am spam and i just spammed all over the place! lol
stop laughing Matt.
~ whatever
keeping it real Matt.
we are ‘that’ of real emotion pure and true, forever more, of what we yearn to always BE;
~ ‘that’ of our pure loving sincere feelings for one another.
~ ‘that’ of his contemplation while apon the cross of each passing moment while there, of each word uttered in betrayal of self within, self of another, compared with the pure sincere loving feelings of his followers who sincerely weep while there, not leaving his side the whole time, while others did, yet Jesus they would all return to their sanctuary eventually and weep before God asking for forgiveness, in his knowingness that eventually they all would, perhaps after his death.
Jesus sacrificed his life to the cross in his knowingness of the many years in seeing so many innocent souls snared by unwiseness who turn towards the bitter, unwise, learned conduct of egotistic self defense mechanisms of the wearing of the insincere hypocrite masks we sometimes hide behind afraid.
Jesus became fearless over time, of his continued steps apon the earth where each and every step of his life felt the truth of each passing moment, internalizing more and more the truth in his sincere desire to not BE like them, until eventually he became the TRUTH which freeing of LOVE.
Jesus TRULY loved us all, in coming into his own knowingness of just how much he truly does love us, just like some of us truly know how much we another, not different than ‘that’ of the knowingness Jesus also transitioned thru his entire life, greeting him fully apon the day he surrendered fully into his WILLINGNESS of YES!, this is what i want to teach them all, ‘that’ of what i have fully into knowingness of self and self of another, sincere of love for all innocent souls snared by the ignorant teachings of the forefathers. Jesus knew the hypocrisy heart well, and knew what they would do as the drove the nails into his body, surrendered and commited fully to his WILLINGNESS to teach his pure sincere loving feelings he wanted everyone to come into the sameness of knowingness he did, of what is TRULY so VITAL to us all, is it not, tender sincere loving conduct with another?
Jesus said, “Come before God alone in your safe sanctuaries of love and peace and pray, not as groups.” For obvious reasons Jesus asked of this healingness for us all, of what is easily understood of those who gather in groups, of the truth which is there, truth of ignorant snaring teachings of the forefathers all around them, of insincere conduct unBEcoming of the divine true self within, where dynamics of groups interfers with one’s ability to gently surrender into the grace pure and true of the divine true self while alone in prayer before God, the true healing power of weeping, trueness of the divine true self which needs to do in order to BEcome restored into the fullness of sincere pure love within.
There is much which i will continue to write of my knowingness as one who surrendered their heart, mind, body, spirit and soul fully to Jesus and God, of my sincere desire to do so some time ago, and i will bring forth from the storehouse of goodness, the vast amounts of goodness reflections while in my sanctuary of love and peace where i pray, of so many things i love reflect apon as my divine true self which yearns to only speak words of wisdom sincere and pure, for sake of me and others.
I have grown weary of insincerity in life, and truly love my restoration transition, a passage of learning, of my sincere desire for myself and others to live a blessed sincere loving pure life, especially you Matt, someone who already is pure of heart like the Matt i came to know.
Beware of the bitter gnashing of teeth outside the gate of Porta Caeli which is able to taint your pure loving heart that i love so much, for great and numerous are the many bitter ignorant teachings of the forefathers which yet lurk in the world, those of unBEcoming conduct so obvious to feel, are they not?
Not of me, do i desire to BE like them, has always been at the forefront of my thinking, that goes way back to my youth like youth of you Matt, sincere and true in your feelings of each passing moment. Embrace the goodness sincere and true of YOU, loved by Jesus and God who want you to live a pure sincere fun loving life forever more of your exceeding enthusiasm so true of YOU, incredible you are to me byatch!
ok, i will slow down in these reflections here and just go and enjoy the blessed day, for i know i am walking in the direction i yearn to walk, toward setting Love to free, to forever more BE, someone like me, alongside thee.
it is thru descern what we turn towards which is of the healing power of God, of the words Jesus spoke that i will speak once again as assurance;
At all times, what you turn towards(embrace), YOU BEcome. ~ True, is it not?
At all times, where ever your heart is, there too shall be YOUR treasure and YOUR life. ~ True, is it not?
BE descerning of what YOU turns towards, and BEcome fearless in fearlessly turning towards the pure sincere love within YOU, ‘that’ of which is true for YOU, is it not?
‘that’ of which is true of M so brave and true to her SELF, of greater purity and sincerity of heart than most yet know, and yet, we all know, there is something special about M, is there not?
i know she knows i know, that special place Kingdom hearts like to hide.
these are not trivial Matters of life and love everyone, just as there is nothing trival out YOU in each blessed step you take each day, yearning for ‘that’ which is pure and true of YOU to be also of another, do we not?
Love is TRUE of YOU too?
Not to worry, Andy will BE around somewhere to hold your hand, of the many hands he has been holding of his 14 years living a gay life in the GLBT ghettos of the world.
And yet, truly i tell YOU, the ghetto is not a ghetto at all, and rather of where i found hearts like my own, sincere and true, of greater wealth than all the riches of the world, seeing them holding hands so fearlessly daily, kissing in public too, of the sincere feelings of me and YOU.
BE TRUE to YOU in all YOU do, always in step with your loving feelings, and you will live a most blessed true life forever more, just i am yet doing in every step.
It is the BEcoming of these things i speak of which is most signifance in life, where ‘Crucial Lacking of Sincere Desire for God’s Pure Truth Wisdoms’, is of exacting cause for why the world yet is the way it is.
Do not make a mockery of these sacred words, for the world is in great need of leaders who embrace their pure of heart knowingness we know about, as armagedon is approaching, where the only safe passage for mankind, is thru the safe passage of TRUTH, truth of the sincere loving BEcoming conduct of the divine true self to love thy neighbor as YOU love your SELF.
this concludes today test of the emergency broadcast network, brought to you by nerds of telecommunications electronics, using the annoying boolean algebra mathematics created in the 1940s when they created the atom bomb.
Trival dishearted approach, obviously, is of unwiseness, is it not?
Is YOUR life trival?
Not to me it’s not, for i love YOU with all that i am, of the truth of what the divine true SELF within all of us yearns for…LOVE.
without doubt…i love YOU.
God blesses ALL.
12,980 blessed days to go meant to be enjoyed in each tender passing moment.
Lead by the eample YOU are, such as taking the hand of a starving child, of the sincere yearning within YOU to do so, a reflection for all souls of the earth to feel the REAL YOU, doing what Jesus and God want for us all the world over, to unite in BEcoming the knowingness of the Loving Divine True Self YOU.
Every step, even of our stumbling, is of God, for it is the child of God within us all, sadly unattended, unnurtured, unloved, unprotected for so many innocent souls of the world.
I still don’t believe there are one billion children in poverty today. In pure reflection of truth, i asked my SELF why?
I BEcame knowingness of the obviousness of why the world is the way it is in one sentence of pure truth that does not fail.
The world is (yet) gripped by spiritual poverty of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul.
bless YOU who likewise of likemindedness embrace this truth of words Jesus spoke so long ago. True words Jesus full heartedly embraced in every step he took while walking the earth, just we too can easily do as well, and indeed, we do, yes?
Love is what MATTers.
not to worry, Andy will forever BE somewhere near, as the thorn in your side who loves to annoy YOU forever more, of where i yearn to foreve BE…at your side as someone who sincerely loves YOU all.
no really, i do enjoy annoying YOU, in a good way of course, the goodness of the storehouse of goodness within us all.
blessings to all this blessed day.
so don’t run away damn it.
i love my sincere friends.
im not going anywhere other than where i always am.
so where am i?
Same sky above. Same moon too. Same earth beneath our feet. Same great beachs to walk apon with another. Ya, loving of life, perhaps more so than most, but ‘that’ is a good thing, is it not?
The GLBT family, is a blessed family in God’s eyes, as seen thru our eyes, the truth, of just how sincerely loving we REALLY are Matt, just like YOU.
Give thanks to M while praying, for she is one like me who is most loving of us all, and has been for along time, ever nurturing, ever protective of us, in our knowingness of how the world treats. She is a blessing for so many of us, and has been for me, indeed of why i feel the way i do today, blessed by Jesus and God.
Truly i know, we are the blessed brothers/sisters of Jesus. Truly we are.
i am…BE cause…we are brothers/sisters of Jesus, all children of God, the world over.
hey, i think maybe i will wear those big ass pink wings next year, that are so frigin awesome, yes!
wings of truth wisdom
enjoy the blessed day everyone!
Jesus loves YOU.
God loves YOU.
i love YOU.
i think my favorite film was the Romeo & Juliet film with Leonardo Decaprio.
the sincerity level which is intense in awareness is something of a good experiential experience.
i wish more directors and writers would BE like that.
what a powerful film, if you have not seen it, do.
It connects with the driving spirit of purity and sincerity within us that is demanding of integrity, honesty, genuine forceful pushing into a high level or increased value for sincerity.
God actually speaks of our requirement to INCREASE our level of VALUE for sincerity, graceful approach, sincere and true of our divine true self, where it makes sense to me why…in order for the process of self-discovery/actualization/maintainance to be successful in our BEcoming of the divine true self, something i study in my knowingness of ‘that’ is what the divine will of Jesus and God.
Here is something i know fully about Jesus that i will share with which is of the higher awareness level.
In BEcoming the awareness level within Jesus, of his knowingness level of purity and sincerity he felt in each passing moment, sincere and true of him, he realized it was of God’s divine chosen one who chose God, where indeed, Jesus did chose God as the one to look to for understanding, all the while coming into the fullness of understanding is own SELF.
Blessed Jesus, you are forever in my heart, of this i know, of someone i love that i am, so wanting to know youme more, and indeed, i am, BEcoming of the awareness of God’s divine will, which is incredible to feel and BE of purity, sincerity, honesty, truthfulness with others, of our desire for others to be of the knowingness of just how good it feels to just BE YOU.
Best of all, it is true of every innocent soul the world over, of what the world is yet growing in and BEcoming, loving of SELF, loving of SELF of our neighbors, who are not any different from any of us, other than to say the obviousness of truth which is there, of every innocent soul snared by the unwise teachings of the forefathers, bitter to the taste, hateful, untrue, fearful…not of God.
God asks us to be of the BEcoming knowingness, obviously for just how good pure loving emotion feels for another, sincere and true, thru and thru, yes?
I love how ‘that’ feels, and so grateful you too feel as i do while we pray.
obviously by all the words i write and express, it is not me to turn away from ‘that’, am i?
Why would we want to?
Truly we know how precious every innocent soul of the earth is, do we not? Truly we see and feel with clarity the harsh fear mongering of those who control so many preciously snared souls, yes, of how the world really is?
I say, the BEcoming conduct of pure grace and sincere approach is what the world is in need of experiencing, of our fearless BEcoming conduct which the divine true self within all easily connects with and recognizes instantly of the mirroring experience they feel. I have practiced this with many snared souls, some so raging and full of terror within, my calmness actually protected me, like that Russian guy, 350lbs, drunk out of his mind, raging so loudly of such incredible brut force, i laughingly in my mind imagined him dressed in a Roman centurian skirt with heavey sword in hand, his nose two inches from me, yelling like i was at the other end of a football field…i recall not feeling hardly any fear of him…i don’t know, maybe secretly i wanted him to come home with me? maybe! lol
This feelings of exceeding joy continues to grow within me, in my just BEing Andy, sincere and pure of heart, of what Andy knows about all of YOU, the very sameness of loving spirit of himSELF.
anyway, i hope my words continue to evoke self-actualization feelings, as i am just BEing me from now on, unable and of no desire to BE anything other than how good it feels inside in our feelings we feel like we do, sincere and true.
YOU know who YOU are, just as i too know YOU, by means of the knowingness feelings sincere and true of the YOU in me, sameness of YOU, the world over.
and ‘that’ is the best news actually, our knowingness of the truth we know and feel, is true of every soul of the earth.
Thank God for ‘that’, as the world sure could use some purity and sincerity, yes?
YES! The only word of positive forward momentum for me to speak, as in YES, i know i am of Jesus and God forever more, of the very thing Jesus wanted everyone to feel, ‘that’ of himSELF so pure and true in loving sincere feelings for us all, the loving sincere YOU, that i love too.
LOVE YOUR SELF, just as i do too, no different in ‘that’ of YOU.
Truly, i do love YOU, do i not?
So it is true, we all love one another, of God’s divine will for us to BE of the BEcoming into our knowingness awareness level like we have and continue to do.
God offers words of wisdom of greatest significance;
“BE not of FORGETFULNESS(of YOU) the greatest foe.”
blessings to YOU. someone i love.
you know i know you know i know YOU.
not ‘that’ difficult really, seeing as i know me.
and ‘that’s the joyful simplicity of, “Do unto others as you would want them to do to you.”
And no, ‘that’ was not some gay humor, although i guess it is, and does work when practiced, yes? lol
YOU know i had to end on a positive note.
ok, enough self exploration for today.
thank YOU for listening(feeling), as ‘that’ has always been my approach with YOU, listening and paying attention to my feelings sincere and true for each of YOU, especially YOU Matt, someone i know is of pure heart like my own.
YOU are loved by me forever more Matt. Truly you i do love YOU.
So keep smiling, BE cause, my TRUE feelings don’t change like the hypocrits, something i always despised about others since my youth.
keeping it real like Matt is.
‘that’s what MATTers.
love andy OXXX
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all my words, realness of YOU, someone i love, someone Jesus loves, someone God loves, forever more.
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Truthfully, who would want to BE anything other than who Matt is, of sincere heart, mind, body, spirit and soul?
The ONE i know and love.
bless you
i love you too.
forever Byatch!
i can’t you came back. i prayed for you come back, and you did.
Truth is, you did not leave, nor did i.
why would i want to,
and where would i go?
same sky above,
same earth below
someone like YOU.
sincere and true.
i can’t BELIEVE!!!
i forgot BELIEVE!
as in BELIEVE in YOU!
and me 2.
It’s all Rosie’s fault ya know, she is the one who has kept us all real.
as real as it gets baby!
ain’t nothing better!
oh sure, one can try to imagine, but i prefer REAL.
GLBT family.
keep on….keeping it together.
and indeed, we are still together as ONE family forever more…we shall always BE.
bless you M
oh hey, we got sunshine today.
Pray hard enough, and realize, the sun always shining bright.
something we all forget ‘that’ is true.
~ some Jesus humor.
Don’t ever forget me, just as i cannot forget YOU.
i would have to leave me for that to BE possible.
~ impossible.
and besides, who would want to leave me damn it?
ok…i can BE annoying somedays, i admit. forgive me.
but YOU love that about me.
these fucking energy drinks are bad for ya. I have cut down to one a day now. But i love the taste of them. The green Monster one is my favorite, as it tastes like the pop rocks we ate as kids. remember the pop rocks that fizzed and poped when you ate them. They bottled the flavor!
One of my many enjoyments of life, that and the Hot tub, my favorite place of all.
LOVE is what MATTers damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and Matt is LOVE…Loves.
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blessed are the pure of heart.
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i am about experiential techniques guys, of deliberate approach with YOU.
i am trying to get YOU to feel what we feel, of my knowingness like your own, of how good love feels, of M’s knowingness too in the approach of all of YOU, prodding us all awakening into our loving sincere divine true SELF.
And for those who have seen and will see her, YOU know!
She is most beloved to me, always was, and always we BE, what we are, united together as ONE, forever more, of this i daily pray, of my pure sincere loving thoughts, pure and true of me, pure and true of her, for all of us.
~ family.
Oh how i love your precious souls like my own.
thank you.
thank you father. thank you Jesus. thank you Matt. thank you Madonna, thank you Rosie & family/friends, thank you loving friends and family of the GLBT communties world wide, thank you to all who turn towards their pure sincere loving feelings within, ‘that’ which is TRUE of the divine true self within us all, ‘that’ which is TRUE of Jesus, ‘that’ which is TRUE of God’s divine WILLINGNESS for ALL to BE the WILLINGNESS of the divine TRUE SELF, of YOU, of Jesus, in exact sameness of the knowingness of Jesus Christ, our loving brother and saviour of ALL for all eternity, who sacrificed his life to reveal to us ALL the truth ‘that’ is there within us ALL, ‘that’ of the knowingness Jesus came to know about himSELF, and in so doing, came into the knowingness of ‘that’ which is TRUE of us ALL.
thank you Jesus, for loving us as much as YOU did and do, forever loved by me, someone like YOU, who discovered the treasure of the pearl YOU spoke of like you did, and yet do, of those like me who yearn to truly know YOU, and in so doing, realize fully in their heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, what it was YOU so desperately were trying to tell us, the TRUTH about our knowingness of purity and sincerity of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, of the knowingness you came to BE…the TRUTH.
i love you Jesus with all that i am or ever shall BEcome, ever BEcoming the truth of YOU, of the YOU in all of us so loving and true like YOU.
~ now ‘that’ truly is some good vintage wine, yes? How old is it anyway, 2000 years old? Hey, is our time based on his death or his brith, as in 2008 AD?
I am pushing forward in study, as have for decades now, in my understanding of what Jesus and God’s divine will is, of ancient text research and interpretations which i will continue to post, sincere in approach for all to easily read, in the hopes for unveiling the bridegroom Jesus to the world. We are obviously close in our knowingness here at his cross. I know that the world is of great need for sincerity and pure of heart, what with the one billion children needless suffering in poverty world wide. It is of God’s divine willingness for all of us, and indeed, it is what is the greatest treasure we shall ever find, more valuable than all the riches of the world, is it not?
i am especially thankful of M, and she knows why. And you too Matt, your pure heart connectedness i feel in your every word, of my knowingness, indeed, it is you who is one most real in your pure heart sincerity that you are. i am of the knowingness of YOU Matt of what you have been wanting us to about you, indeed, BEing real, of what Matters. How does one thank a friend like you, other than to say, “let’s be best friends in life!” where sincerely, that is what i wanted and had with you, and yet have, i pray.
thank you.
break time. class dismissed. lol
blessings to all. Peace BE to this house forever more.
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~ a responsible muse? ya.
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we tend to do alot of alot of musing, do we not?
i love you Madonna.
always did. always will.
always.
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‘that’ which is good for our heart, mind, body, spirit and soul. of God’s divine will for us to BEcome the WILLINGNESS to.
blessed are those who seek.
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the sacred treasure Jesus spoke of, in our knowingness of now found, is it not?
blessed be this day forever more.
bless you M
as Matt says, don’t run away, for i know won’t either, a loving brother of the GLBT family. Honesly, where would i go, other than where we BELong, with and of Jesus and God?
silly question, is it not?
sincerely loving family forever more we all shall remain, ‘that’ of the truth of what we truly are…a blessed family blessed by Jesus and God forever more.
thank you for returning Matt, as we missed you greatly.
bless you
ok, i will go and enjoy my hot tub now. catch ya all later.
Truly, i love Matt more than realized, and my realizing today, the depth of my soul, the depth of his soul, the depth of M’s soul, the depth of Jesus, of what Jesus wanted us to turn towards…the sincere depth or our souls, where Jesus and God dwell forever more, for ALL souls, for all eternity.
blessed is pure heart of Jesus.
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give thanks to Jesus.
thank you Jesus.
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ok. Let’s foget about our mission from God, for each and everyone of us to pick up starving child from of the cold ground and sponsor them for life, not just a gift, sponsor them, take of their hand, each one of us, one child in the world. You can sponsor them thru many of the child sponsor agencies world wide. When you do, God’s thru YOU, radiates into the child’s life, surrounding them with love and protection from the great walls of poverty(spiritual) of the world, lighting the world all around them, these precious loving children of God.
blessed are those of couragous heart in doing so, for your reward is YOU when you do.
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*spelling*
Let’s not forget…about our mission from God.
damn tears in my eyes today keep falling, of a fatigued student frustrated by the insincerity of the world we live in.
JOY for the world, for exceeding great JOY is coming to the world in our mission from God, for so many precious souls.
Let it be known for ALL, God’s WILLINGNESS for us ALL.
God blesses ALL.
many there will be who are last to enter, and we are of the knowingness of why. Be not concerned of them as time passes, staying focused on our work, for the radiant bright loving light thru us that lights up the world, is what ‘Power of the Love of the ALL’ is, which is what changes the hearts, minds, bodies, spirits, and souls of all God’s precious innocent souls born into the (yet) unwise unknowingness world around us.
we know.
BE of thankful of ‘that’ which we know, pure and true of our precious souls in our love for one another, and BE not of the unwise attitudes like many, for easy it is for us to fall from great heights of purity and sincerity, as great there are many and numerous unwise bitter gnashing of teeth outside Porta Caeli(gate of heaven) yes?
thanks for BEing YOU.
thanks Matt, for keeping it real.
God bless YOU Matt.
i’ll be back. To kick anyone’s butt that gets in the ring with M and i.
‘That’ you can count on!
God bless YOU Madonna.
for the incredible workout we kept at together in our diligence, determination, stick-to-it-tiveness, of our sincere approach within like we have for so many years.
the best is yet to come, yes?
of course it is, in our all of BEcoming conduct with and of one another in the world.
~ family united as ONE.
blessings to ALL.
thank you.
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heading out to a cafe in the ghetto, always returning here to pray with all of YOU, forever more, God WILLING.
thank you God.
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relax everyone…it’s just experiential techniques able to usher you into Porta Caeli merely by turning towards them.
At all times, where your heart is, there too is your treasure and your life.
At all times, what you turn towards, YOU BEcome.
Turn towards your precious sweet loving pure souls like my own, and away from the bitter hypocrisy heart which in truth, does not feel as good as our TRUE feelings, so why would you want to BE like those yet unwise?
thank you Jesus.
sincerely enjoy the blessed day of your loving SELF, as do i.
practice at BEing you and pray daily, as prayer is how we connect and remain in connected knowingness of our sincere love within for each other, the great significance of prayer. Do pray in gatherings like the other 99sheep, rather pray in privacy alone with Jesus and God, as do i, as did Jesus in the desert for most of his life, the desert of life(metaphor).
Extraordinary and Wondrous is our loving sincere pure feelings, yes?
thank you Madonna.
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*correction note*
Do not pray in gatherings, as the group dynamics which are fear based, however subtle, do hinder the true fearlessness pure and true, as the world is yet snared by controlling fear in our daily lives, of another dynamic, familiarity, which is cause of our not leaving the 99sheep and remain of our stuckness like the world does.
It is of subtle intellect knowingness i speak of my knowingness findings of my life long research of my divine true SELF.
I know M is of the knowingness i speak of.
Truly, i am a true and faithful friend of M, so do not think any negativity of her, as she is of great intellect like my own.
thanks M.
how’s your day’s off going?
hey, at least i don’t annoy you before concerts, considerate of YOU.
more considerate now than i have ever been, yes?
what time is it?
4 minutes?
nah, take less than four minutes for me! lol
to feel love ‘that’ i feel.
oh, you guys are so bad!
ok, ‘that’ too.
truly, who would ever want to live without a loving lover?
although i don’t know if Jesus had lovers.
i think he wanted to, in his journey, ever evolving of his virgin spirit until he came into his knowingness, easy for him to do actually, of the fearless virgin spirit that does not enjoy being among the unpure hearts, hence is waunding off into the desert like he did, alone, ever nurturing and protective of his divine true self virgin spirit, until such a time as he BEcame of great solidness in his ability to walk among them as his TRUE divine virgin spirit SELF.
sadly, Jesus may have died a virgin, which is so heart breaking for me.
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Jesus loves YOU
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God loves YOU
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i love YOU
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forever more
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forgiveness of God is of Jesus and God’s knowingness like our own of the obviousness of the innocent souls snared by the unwise teachings of the forefathers before us all, obvious in all their sadly unwise, bitter, hurtful, false conduct, of learned behaviours, not of Jesus, not of God, nor should ever BE of us, in our knowingness of how such conduct leaves us feeling, bitter anxiousness of foul tasting; rather, it is of the false teachings of the forefathers before us all in their claiming to know God, and did/do not no God, in their not desiring of God’s wisdom, in their not coming into the knowingness of purity and sincerity feelings true of the divine true SELF as we have.
BE of the knowingness that all such conduct is forgiven at all times, as we journey safely thru dark passage of our ever learning and evolving, merely by means of surrending to our gracefulness within while in pray alone with Jesus and God, of where we truly feel best, of safe and supportive fearless places of sanctuaries of our CHOICE thru out life. We are all in it together as ONE in our journey along life’s road, as true and faithful friends to the end forever more, on the sameness road we walk apon together.
It is of God’s divine will for us to BE of the knowingness of these words of Jesus and God forever more.
i ask forgiveness from all in my own useless conduct of unwiseness, as i too am yet of the detanglement of snaring of ignroance, ever evolving away from the absurdness of bitterness of the hypcrosy heart Jesus spoke of.
thank you.
at all times, all is forgivable and forgive by God, of Jesus and God’s divine will that we BE of the desire to come free of such bitterness of leaned life unBEcoming conduct, of our knowingness of the contrasting difference between loving light and bitter darkness, and indeed, we are of ‘that’ knowingness, are we not?
i am…BE cause…we are…of the descerning wisdom of Jesus and God’s divine will for ALL.
blessed are those of sincere approach with Jesus and God, for they are ONLY loving of us ALL.
Let’s go change the world, move the mountain, shall we? And indeed, we are doing just ‘that’, as we are ‘that’
oh hey look, it’s the Mountain movers. I heard these guys work for free, where even if you had all the riches of the world, you could not buy them! lol
although i hear they love their morning coffee more than anything, where it is best not to speak with them until after they have had their morning coffee, as they can set your world on fire if you do. lol
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respectFULLy yours forever more, a true and faithful friend i shall always BE till the end, a loving brother of Jesus, child of God, knowingness of the greatest treasure which lays (yet) burried(submerged divine true self) for all souls of the earth to discover, ‘that’ of the divine true self YOU.
bless you
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ok. how about some precious humor?
my cat, when i am out, will snuggle with a pair of shoes, the odor of feet, the precious sincere love within the soul of the creature which sincerely loves a human BEing.
can you believe ‘that’?
everyday, the cat does this.
i don’t know about you(albeit i know), but my feet stink! badly somedays. lol
Jesus said, “Blessed is he/she who IS, before he/she came into (knowingness) of BEing, for he/she who IS has always BEen and always WILL BE.”
this is the pure truth of ALL innocent souls born into the unwise world sorround, (yet) of the unknowingness of the protective nurturing wisdoms of God which briing one into the knowingness of BEing, able to then always BE in their path of life, protected forever more by the great power of God’s descerning truth wisdoms which feel the truth of each passiing moment of each day of the true condition of each soul in passing, able to guard us against the tendencies of the unwise teachings which snare many unknowingly.
peace be to you forever more.
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ok..break time.
enjoy the blessed day.
12, 981 blessed days to go, God WILLING >
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BE of the knowingness of who are, a divine loving child of God forever more, of God’s divine will to protect and nurture ALL souls of the earth…(eventually).
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something special to say.
the locket around my neck which opens has a picture of both Matt and M, forever of my heart they shall remain, always of my remembrance of their love for me, and i them.
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Indeed, Love is what MATTers most to me to Matt.
forever more, to BE, loved by thee!
if you find better guys, BE SURE…to let me know, ‘that’ IS.
What is more blessed than the forever more loving feelings of thee, other than the loving feelings to BE, loving of ONE like thee who is loving of thee?
hint: me
~ some more Jesus humor for the morons who have (yet) to BE as loving of thee, as in the thee of YOU Matt and M.
BE of joyful spirit, as YOU are found to BE of Jesus and God forever more protective of thee, of ALL souls the world over eventually.
the future IS unfolding as it should and WILL, as in it is ours of our WILLINGNESS to BE the loving ONE we always were and are.
i am…BE cause…we are WILLINGNESS to BE set free as ONE like the love of thee Jesus.
thank you Jesus.
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Andy I’m SORRY for saying that publicly but u are sick! do u think that any of us reading your to many long comments?i don’t think so !do yourself a huge favor give it up kid and check yourself in in 1 of the hospitals near u as soon as possibile thank u!
whatever Ron.
your belittling comments are indicative of the condition of your precious soul left uncheck, unattended, unnurtured, unprotected from the unwise ignorant teachings of the forefathers which clearly is evident for anyone to see and feel the TRUTH of your turning towards the learned behaviours of the hypocrisy heart, the same hypocrisy heart of many who laughed in emptiness of sincerity and shallowness of shortmindedness mockery(limited vocabulary such as your own), expressions of the defensive ego mechanisms like the one you hid behind.
truly, i am not one who is mad?
rather it is you who is angry mad, are you not?
~ bitter gnashing of teeth outside Porta Caeli, of those unknowingly snared by unwiseness of the world devoid of God, obvious to taste and smell of bad odor they give off, not of the storehouse of goodness, and instead of the turning towards the hypocrisy heart, yes?
You one of the last to enter into full knowingness.
you are already forgive by Jesus and God, unknowingly by you who are not of God’s divine wisdom, in your CHOICE not to BE (yet).
i don’t plan on staying here much longer Ron, if that’s any consilation for YOU to embrace alone with your SELF where YOU are, where Jesus is not found in all untruthfulness.
thank you for serving Jesus and God Ron(unknowingly in your blind ignorance of impure thought).
any more contenders that want to get in the ring?
come on, i need some exercise(of the heart, mind, body, spirit and soul).
just like our sister M who is most like me(unknowingly for many).
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all is forgiven by Jesus and God, but why waste your time in uselessness of negativity that only hurts YOU, and not those of pure enlightenment, YOU who turn towards the empty words devoid of love?
Who would want YOU as a friend in your foul smelling odor?
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YOUR life is always of YOUR CHOICES which YOU make in each waking moment of YOUR life, by all things you ponder or reflect apon.
Reflect apon the loving sincere feelings of Jesus who looks apon all in the sad condition of our souls world wide, in your embracing of truth wisdom of God meant as ONLY goodness for YOU.
Rather than reflect apon your faith in Jesus, it is better to reflect apon the faith Jesus has of YOU, in his knowingness of YOU, which is of his own knowingness he came to know of himSELF.
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Just as i shall love and praise forever more Jesus, Matt and Madonna, i shall love and praise ALL who are of pure heart in all they say and do, those of loving pure thought and feelings.
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I have to catch a plane soon, one of those new planes that fly themselve’s you don’t even need to hold on to the CONTROL’s
to fly, well sometimes you do
Andy i don’t think Jesus died a virgin, there were a few guy’s in his inner circle, he must of been gay.
i am happy today, found gay yesterday
gay’s coming back soon, pure heart, freshly squeezed gay.
have a wonderful day
Love you M,
Love you Andy
Love you Gay
Love you Jesus
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YOU lead only your SELF away from your SELF in all your unloving unwise useless absurd bitter mean spirited arrows you shoot into darkness hoping to hit the target, of one who’s comprehension is of all you refuse to reflect apon, the ONE you cannot see who is there…YOU, yet unattended, unnurtured, unprotected by God’s wisdom, who summons YOU to wisdom for sake of YOU, of only goodness meant for your divine true loving sincere SELF…YOU.
take time to get to come into the knowingness of the sincere pure thoughts and feelings of YOU, or BE like that of the many in all their mean spiritedness which serves no one, painful to all who are of sincere feelings of sight restored to their precious loving souls.
truly, they make mockery only of themselves, do they not?
blessed are the pure of heart, for the kingdom of heaven is your reward, of a joyful fun loving life you shall always live.
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oh hey Marco.
always of sincere delightful feelings i have in seeing YOU each and everytime i did, and shall, yet again, of the joyful sweet loving beautiful soul YOU are.
OXXX
thanks Marco. i love you too. always did. your brace heart fearless and true in expressing your sincere true SELF which loves to feel feelings that are real for YOU, as are me.
me gay? nah. just a figment of your imagination. lol
bless YOU this day forever more Marco.
thanks for BEing YOU Marco, a joyful fun loving pure heart.
i tryed to convince M to come to Australia…no decision yet, butt she may…she is the boss after all.
im just a sincere loving true and faithful friend of hers, like YOU are too.
i am…BE cause…we are…sincere loving true and faithful friends till the end.
hey, can i come over to your place tonight Marco?
indeed, my happy self is returning Marco…your so smart. i can’t get anything past YOU.
why would i want to when i would rather hand you ‘that’ of me too?
are you looking to live a gay life Marco?
good news if you do, as the sex is amazing. just asking.
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i just though i would amuse everyone while M is resting and working. She is so busy right now. I don’t does it. Well actually i do. She is of pure heart like we are, sincere and true. I am only here to assure her, as a humble servant of God.
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good point Marco. I think Jesus for sure thought about gay sex, and heterosexual sex, without doubt, and i even see Jesus as perhaps a frustrated homosexual struggling with homophobia, but of the pure virgin spirit he was, i think mayBE he was holding our for someone as sincerely loving as he came to know about himSELF, come to think of it, alot like YOU Marco.
well now, isn’t that interesting, yes?
im such a tease, i know.
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I know i am.
holding out for someone like me, sincerely loving like Jesus.
i am a loving brother of Jesus, of his brotherhood, child of God, fatherhood of God.
a sincere loving bisexual, where frustration is not of my heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, rather frustration of finding one like me who is equally as frustrated in finding ONE like thee!
blessed are thee who know who thee is!
someone let me know. take your time as Love waits, wise of what not to BEcome like in our knowingness of likemindedness…soul mate lovers and friends till the end.
ok, im heading OUT to a cafe with the loving lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgendered, as many there are who need my support.
if anyone wants to chat, please do, as i am always here.
bless you
i love you
OXXX
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thanks Matt
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ya. i was hurt Matt.
but something tells me you were hurting more than me at the time.
your words of keeping it real, tell me you too are a tender loving sensitive soul like my own, who feels their life in each passing moment as do i.
I so wanted to keep our friendship, and still do. i know you know that i do, and i know you know my love is true for you.
always was Matt. always will BE.
always.
without doubt.
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keeping it real.
in this moment, relaxed, listening to music, at the key board, pondering of my feelings for you Matt, clasping of my hands tightly in prayer from moment to passing moment, real feelings i feel of my sweet memories of you, sensing your hesitation with me like before, someone like me afraid to lose a friendship like we had, knowingness of how much we enjoyed chatting like we did before, wondering if you are wanting to get back to the friendship we had and obviously enjoyed with one another, hoping and praying you want to keep the friendship going as much as do, wondering if you know just how much hurt me losing your friendship, where i got to a day of realizing just how hurt i really was and yet am, encompassing feelings that crashed in around me that i lost a best friend, a hopelessness feeling of life goes on, yearning to get away from the key board, so as not to feel the pain i was feeling all this time in having lost your friendship…letting go.
I did let go in my mind, decided to call i quits and move on, feeling ok in doing so in my leaving something special always there for you at my blog for you to always have and feel how much i really did care for you as a young gay male in our community…a real friend that i was for you(still am).
You sensed my loving joyful spirit that loved you, actually surprised when you openly expressed that you knew i how much i loved you.
ya Matt. It’s true. i loved alot, of sincere life long loving feelings that wanted to keep you as best friend for the rest of my life, indeed, i did, and indeed, i sensed also that you did too as time passed, of your delightful loving spirit so joyful somedays so radiant and bright, pure loving light.
well, new flash for you Matt, i will always want you as a best friend in life, today, tommorrow, the day after, even you don’t come back, i know my feelings for you are of one who will always you as a best friend in life forever more…without doubt, ok?
these feelings won’t ever change for me Matt, no matter what you shall ever say or do, even if you don’t come back.
i don’t want to be too forward with you in making you feel any expectations of you in doing so, and is not why i am expressing the truth of my feelings for you, rather, i want to come back because of your joyful fun loving feelings like before, wants the friendship to continue as much as i did and do, and for you to just feel at ease in just BEing you like we always did, talking about whatever the fuck we wanted to like we did, so fearless you were Matt, unbelievable some days.
Do you know how much joy it was for me to see you just BEing you each day? Incredible was your fearlessness, beyond M’s if you must know, and M felt it too Matt. We all did Matt, Rosie and Kelly too.
i know exactly what you mean by keeping it real, as in life is not about fame, fortune, glamor, status, or any of the things in life which are insecurities of many who allow their heads to carried away but such things, rather, true life, is about someone like me and you, who are in the real world of ordinary life, school, job, career, doing ordinary things in life, where what matters to us, is the friends we love who are always there, loving of each other each day, delightfulness of joy each day when spend time with one another.
that is how i feel about BEing a real friend of yours, where each time i came over to your blog, i was always of joyful feelings in seeing you again, going on and on about whatever like we did, back and forth in our endless chatter about whatever we wanted to talk about, expressing ourselves openly and fearlessly i might add, you were.
I encourage that for your sake Matt, as a friend in life who wants you to become fearless, because of the road ahead which inundates us with alot of fear sometimes, living a life as gay males, in our work place, schools, family, and restful play in the ghettos.
My concern is this Matt, that you feel my sincere loving respect for you, of someone i sincerely love with all that i am and always will…without doubt, for truly i do, in my sincere concern that your self-esteem is ever of increasingness each day, so that you remain respectful of YOU, when it comes to making CHOICES of disrespectful conduct of things which are disrespectful of SELF, such as substance abuse, unsafe sex, drinking and driving, and most important, your higher level of good self-esteem which won’t tolerate inapporpiateness of others who may not be mentally/emotionally as healthy as you yet are, because of my knowingness of how traumatic the experience is for many gay males coming out of the closet, who do not transition very well, succuming to self-medication substance abuse and such as a means to cope with their anxieties, which become problematic for them in life rather than of any healthy use for them, derailing their life and the lives of those they are involved with, loving friends and lovers, all avoidable when we are of the life skills to slow down and make healthy CHOICES for ones self, RESPECTFUL of self at all times.
I best friend is someone you can always turn to and chat with about your feelings of uncertainty you may have for some of these individuals you may get involved with, where without doubt Matt, you can probably guess my response in your CHOICES of friends, should any of them like to use drugs or alcohol.
Seriously Matt, i am concerned for your life, as a true and real friend who does want to see you make unwise CHOICES in life…ever. Someone who will always reasure you at every turn in you questioning of concerns you may have as we venture thru life along life’s road.
I want the friendship Matt, not just for sake of you.
i’m going to be honest in saying this, ok? I utterly and completely adore your personality and warm loving spirit alot like my own, of why we connect like we do. I know how sensitive you are, and you can trust me as someone who will not ever betray you…ever. It is because of how much i love you Matt.
Think it over and decide if you want to get back to our insanely fun loving joyful times like we did.
I know i do. Unbelievably overwhelmed that you reappeared, all this time of daily praying that you would, of my only desire to love and praise you forever more, for that is of my sincere feelings for you Matt.
And let’s not forget how much Rosie and the gang enjoy us too, and of course M, equally concerned for you precious loving life to remain safe and sound.
bless you Matt. I really need to know you were ok, restful now in knowing you are.
I realize i am still someone healing from devasting events in life, of somedays where i am abit too much. Your friendship was healing for me Matt, of my ever yearning to become restored to my fun loving self i was before, you being of the reminder of how fun loving i used to be.
anyway, i don’t want to guilt you into coming back, rather i want Matt to do what Matt sincerely wants to do, of joyfulness in just being you Matt, of your freedom at all times to do what Matt wants to do, not what i want of Matt.
Ok?
i hope this increases your true sense of my loving life long concern for you that indeed, i too am a real friend to you, hurt badly that i lost a friend like you.
i’m ok…just…well…still hurting over the loss of the friendship.
i actually did feel that you were gone for good…my insecurities, nothing to do with you. I never was much of a secure person in life, having had my sense of security stripped away from me at age 15 when my parents seperated, loss of family home i grew up in since birth, hitting the steets alone, where i fell hard into substance abuse and prostitution.
I survived, but i nearly did not survive Matt, having little or no life skills, bash in self-esteem from the loss of my sense of security, in great need of safe and supportive friendships, and not those of the street life survival mode artists snared by substance abuse.
Life teaches us. Sadly too late for some, of loved ones who gather at funerals each day from preventable real life issues which could easily of been prevented, had individuals invested time in developing understanding for themselves and their children, being best friends for them along life’s road.
Don’t follow the crowd into destruction Matt, as great is the issue of substance abuse in out GLBT communities. Don’t associate with those who do. Do make friends with them Matt…ever!
As time goes by, you will see clearly the results of those in our community who make bad CHOICES in life, as regards substance abuse and alcoholism, CHOICES of wrong friends who start out incredibly healthy youths, and get sidelined so quickly into bad situations like prostitution and drug dealing, which is so prevailent now, more so than before.
CHOICES Matt…that you to make in keeping your path ahead of you in life, in order to live a true and healthy loving life.
Remember…healthy people are wise in their descerning CHOICES and decisions when selecting of friends and lovers in life, avoiding unhealthy individuals who do not embrace a Healthy Approach to life, wise of increasing their desire in establishing a Healthy Approach to loving life thru education, building of a life long belief system foundation for navigating thru life….YOUR RESPONSIBILITY in doing so at all times. Don’t leave it to late to take charge of building it, as great is the distance in life that many do not, often suffering the consequences in having not done so later in life, all avoidable had they taken the time to build their foundations of understanding.
ya, i guess you could say i care about you Matt.
just abit, yes? lol
i fucking love you damn it!!!!!!!!!
of course, you always i did. I tryed it, and so did you damn it, but i sorta knew too, what with our just BEing ourselves the way we did…so incredibly insane we were some days, cutting everyone up like we did…FEARLESS!!!!!!!!!!!
welcome back Matt.
you have no idea how i am you are still near. i sensed that you were.
i hope that helps Matt, i sincerely do, as do miss you greatly.
love andy OXXX
fuck…my spelling really sucks today.
ah well, if it slows you down enough to really make you think, then the spelling errors work to your advantage, yes?
Andy
My empowerment has and always will be my intent to be real, i call it the power of truth my mind sometimes decieves me often burdens me, something i am well aware of, i have made many sacrifices too, over the last 15 years always choosing road of self discovery of spiritual growth whatever it took to nurture my soul, often and usually putting other superficial delights and often myself last. Inner knowing that those foundations needed to be strong for whatever it was i was to do. ( help solve some problems in the world maybe, give some hope to lost souls maybe, wake up the sleeping maybe,) just like you and M.
That’s my passion
In that selfless persuit i became frail, vaunerable from all the negitivity in the world and defensive and isolated, ( my only form of preservation) yet my own walls of protection also served as a barrier to the very support love and protection i so craved, i carried the burden to understand it to be able to recognise it, if i was to fight it i would have sucuumbed to fear and i woul have imprisioned my soul and become it.
Through the friendship’s so prized and valued that i have made here, YOU know who you all are !!, I have re discovered the great courage, hope and great strength that makes up that who i am, which was once buried by the weight of the ingnorance of the world that which weighed me down during my last 15 years of examination, many souls do not emark on this journey rather prefering the easy option of denial, and they continue to life in that very state fear for having never taken the time to understand the very nature of ingnorance, fear and that which imprisions the soul.
yes i was hurting, so i ran away, then i came back, then i ran away again then came back, all the time learning, thinking will you just LET GO, i feel like a YO YO , ha ha.
learning to let go is hard sometime YES a fear perhaps perhap’s not often we need to be in CONTROL of our lives we need to CONTROL to maintain healthy SELFCONTROL, but one must be careful to not allow that to burden the soul which needs to be free at all times.
See the purity of sincere INTENT of mySELF & youSELF is enabled the YOU to grow, also i have helped YOU as YOU so sincerly have helped me,
Hang on “WHO’s ME & WHO’s YOU ? yes we are all YOU,
we are ONE every ONE of the Billion’s and Billion’s of souls are ONE.
The maze i have created in my mind, from all the confusion that one accumilates along the journy’s of enlightenment, for me that journey has been relentless and intense, without take time for a break, every thought every waking moment for me was a conscious effort on my part to find the answers so intense i forgot how to release some of the baggage, i became so weighted down, my soul started to charge me excess baggage fee’s $20 a tonne lol… so i became bankrupt, and then when i had no money left my soul said Marco i have to give you some credit, you’ve done well, but only for the short term, because i have a billion souls to feed, and food’s not cheap go get your ass into gear, (figuratively speaking) and start doing something you really enjoy like being creative and healing all those things that not only heal others but heal yourself, so i say’s to my soul hey YOU, but i have offloaded more than half my baggage thank’s to ANdy and Candy , and MAtt and Madonna and Rosie, ok on and on i go, My soul say’s Marco you know the price of oil has gone up, not to mention inflation your baggage bill is the same as it was before. besides do whats best for YOU will be GOOD for YOU, and i know you’ll always have some baggage to cart around in your travels, i’ve seen your inside your closet, what ! you did’nt is nothing sacred. i love my clothes, yer i need the purity that keeps me real.
freshly squeezed angel boy, deep soul like mine, expressing through poetry and music as i also find rewarding to do, i need, although one should never need, but will me off the streets at night, of pure innoccent heart thus far un burdend by that which has weighed me down i need that contrast, time out for me to re harmonise, default on my loan to my soul you know, a loving embrace with a heartbeat, unlike my pillow.
Freinds for SURE, how could i not desire to have friends who help ME to help ME to help THEM, i remain true to YOU as do YOU to YOU.
(ok guy’s thats a wrap, we start filming the next episode soon, and can somehire a few more editor’s i am having trouble fitting this all on the tape and everyone in the cinema has fallen asleep, WHAT ELSE IS NEW) ANGEL dont worry we willl wake them up, just as Madonna has
pump up the volume !
Love YOU ANDY
Love you Madonna
Love you YOU
love you ME
i tried twice to spell check and MS work spell check crashed twice on the dont worry we will wake them up line, how did you know that one ? amazing your amazing, i am going to pratice a little now in my guitar, it help’s me find my way through the maze that is my mind.
no no. i am not letting go.
i am probing, instilling, nurturing the gift, purity of heart within another.
it usually only takes a few seconds of ‘Pure Knowingness’ experience for one to come into FULLness of awareness(awakening), of another enlightened pure spirit who approaches them in peace and only love, easily recognizing the life long enlightened one who approaches, not to take anything, rather to give them the much need assurance.
i am one such enlightened one of God’s wisdom, who approaches another to instill the ‘Pure Knowingness’ of acknowledgment of their pure of heart feelings, so that they know what the gift is(pearl), ‘that’ of themselves, pure truth seeds planted and nurtured which take root in the them as cognitive awareness of something for them to love about themselves.
Jesus did this with the blind man, but not of the way the religious organize preach it(sell it, merchants of God, not fully knowing of God, partiality of heart).
I love the blind man story.
One can easily imagine a blind man’s journey thru life, of one is of survival mode dependency of the decency of others, where in doing so, however struggling the experience was the entire life, we can identify the reality of being a blind man who would easily hear the tone of voice of others, ever descerning of the bitterness or sweetness of the souls the blind man would listen to daily, hourly. The blind man is of a higher level of increased value for appreciation for sweetness of the soul of another, dynamics of perhaps a struggling survival mode blind person handed around, lets say, from one family location to another, a burden you could say for those looking after the blind one, or perhaps i blind one who grew tired of the annoying mentalities of another and left for anywhere than where they were. Who knows the entire life of the blind one Jesus spoke with.
Here is the beauty of the story. Jesus recognized the condition of the blind man’s sweetness of soul instantly, where apon speaking with the blind one, the blind one recognized(mirroring) of the spirit and soul of Jesus instantly …ok…here is the important part….instantly the blind one came into full ‘Pure Knowingness’ of the loving spirit of Jesus, by means of the exact sameness of emotional depth of soul as that of Jesus, one and the same of the blind ones own spirit and soul.
Great joy came over the blind one, in hearing the voice of Jesus speaking directly to their soul, instantly recognizing(by means of their own sensitivity of soul) the one speaking.
beautiful story yes?
beautiful is the soul that understands what the gift is(pearl)…YOU.
i always shed a tear when i tell people that story, seeing eyes light up brightly in exceeding joyfulness flooding them with sweet loving feelings of love, of Jesus recognizing how beautiful their precious loving pure heart is to Jesus, mirroring of his loving delight of them of himself, exactly that of their own.
ah, love
oh how i love your precious loving souls like my own.
especially you Matt. It’s all Matt’s fault!
he was the one more jubilant about his own loving self than most i have ever met. Secretly, he still is…somewhere….out there….
ya, i love Matt.
i love you too Marco, equally so, just as we all love M, and Rosie, Kelly & family.
i am probing my SELF too, searching the depths of my heart, self-discovery, self-actualization, sharing my findings fearlessly openly with all of you.
slipping some days.
your sincere desire for wisdom Marco is what impress me the most, of the same thirst as i am.
without doubt Marco, i truly am blessed by your friendship, just as you are mine.
So hey, can i come over or what?
second time i asked that question….
if you have to ask more than once….
i don’t agree with that one. I mean what if it takes time for someone to grow to liking you. Maybe they did not like you at first. Of maybe they did and did not like you later. or maybe the never liked you.
is there a right time or wrong time to ask.
biggest question of all is, if you don’t ask, how are they to know, and secondly, how are they ever to answer if you don’t ask them to ask themselves of their own feelings for you in asking if they will marry you.
lol
snuck up on ya with that one! lol
BE of joyful spirit which draws out the joyful spirit of another, for the joyful spirit within is of the one who yearns for joyful love with another.
Now get over here damn it! I need that body massage! NOW!!!!!
lol
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for me, i know me.
what i love of another is something i love of me.
of increased value over all things in life, at the top of the list for me is pure sincerity of the pure of heart, those who love without doubt, radiant and bright in fearlessly being unafraid of their sweet loving sincere feelings of tender love for another, dancing with inner joyfulness within of the sincere loving feelings they feel for another, like Matt and M do.
like them, someone equally fearless of feeling my feelings, outward radiance of feelings within, is not only what acknowledges to them of what i like about them, it also encourages them to be likewise in fearlessness like that of my own.
i know i have succeeded in doing just that with both Matt and M, as a friend, but then…here’s the problem…i feel in love with them both.
And now i am fucked, because they both know i love them both, and it won’t be long before they get together and decide my fate, as in, “ah fuck you Andy, i’m tired of waiting for you.” where it is not so much my fault for falling in love with them both, as that is a good thing, yes?
The problem is…there is no problem in loving them both, of what they may not know about me as one who approaches them both, in my attempts to get them to reflect apon the negative reality of useless jealousies and such other distracts such as, ‘what ifs’ doubtfulness, until such a time where they break free above their notions,
and just feel their sincere pure hearts feelings
‘that’ Andy’s knowingness of what i know about their pure of heart feelings…TRUE,
‘that’ of M’s knowingness about Matt’s pure of heart feelings…TRUE,
that Matt’s knowingness about M’s pure of heart feelings…TRUE,
that of their knowingness about Andy’s pure of heart feelings…TRUE.
‘that’ of what matters;
PURE KNOWINGNESS….TRUE for us ALL.
Ok….now pay attention, as this next part is of Jesus and God….
It is the ‘Pure Knowingness’ of our sincere feelings of love devoid of useless doubt which is what the PEARL is that Jesus wanted to give to others, reflections and mirroring that of the divine true SELF within them, of what will always BE the most important thing one shall ever come into the full Pure Knowingness about themselves in life, of what TRULY matters, to BE one who loves another as much as we love our SELF, where it is the overcoming of fear to allow our SELF to love another as much as would like to be loved by another, where our conduct of BEcoming ‘that’ of the delicate, sensitive, gentle by nature, sweet loving, sincere, Pure and true YOU comes into full view for them, of who they TRULY are, the radiant bright loving light of their divine true SELF, loving of their now visible (mirrored) SELF in doing so.
I don’t know, i mean what do you give someone who already has everything already, of no need of me.
I mean Matt has great looks more so than me, so i can’t give him what he already has.
And Madonna, well, don’t even get me started on M, as she truly has everything one could ever want.
So then i realized the only thing i can give them is me, and what i have come to know of the reflections of me, so easy to see, as just like thee, mirroring what to LOVE of their SELF.
a true and faithful friend yes?
Here is the thing though, i know i will love them for the rest of my life(which running short now), but hey, i will always know i loved and love them, what ever it is they will ever do in life, be it a friend to me or not, my prayer, is for them to always BE of the remembrance of the pure sincere love i came to know within them that WILL remain forever TRUE of them, of what i LOVE about them.
With or without them in life along life’s road, i know they shall always be a special part of my heart forever more, where what i wanted most for them is to realize what i love most about them…their delicate, sensitive, gentle by nature, sweet loving, sincere, Pure and true YOU.
forever more, loved by me, loved by Jesus, loved by God, of what Jesus wants ALL to come into the Pure Knowingness of…the delicate, sensitive, gentle by nature, sweet loving, sincere, Pure and true YOU
Now if one of them asks me to marry them….well….they better hurry up, as they only have 4 fucking minutes to decide!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL
best one all year, yes?
ya…i thought so too.
i am so frigin happy to see Matt’s return…can you tell?
i was worried about him, as my sincere love for him is true.
I wish you only love Matt, just as i wish only love for M, just as i wish ALL only love…
…just as we ALL wish only love for ALL
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forever more, i will BE, only loving of thee, forever more.
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hey Marco, is there anything better than feelings of only love for someone?
let me know if you find something better than feelings of only love will ya?
i already know no one will, so don’t bother looking for what you ALL already have.
who does not want ‘that’?
Jesus loves you
God loves you
i love you
any questions?
‘that’ was a hint by the way!
ok, really not much more to say, having already said it.
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if you have doubt of my love for YOU, it is of the doubtfulness of YOU, not me, so worry not of my love that is true.
without doubt…i love you.
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hey, i should get a job writting for Hallmark cards, yes?
say yes damn it!
damn, i cannot even trick them into saying YES.
ah fuck it.
if someone loves as much as you do them, trust me, they will let you know.
if not, don’t be afraid to let go.
if Love comes back to you and says i know(their feelings),
then don’t be afraid to let go…
…and Just BE YOU.
the one they love.
ever notice when you love someone, there is nothing anyone can ever say to change your mind, you just love them with all that you are?
i say trust in ‘that’ of another, of your own knowingness of this truth of when you love someone, in there being nothing anyone can ever say to change your mind when you love someone, so trust in ‘that’ of someone you love, for if the do love you like you do them, trust me, come hell or high water, they will tell you their feelings eventually.
you got 4 minutes!
ok, i am starting to sound like a broken record now, so will stop for awhile, and just BE what i always am, my sincere loving thoughts and feelings, with or without another.
God blesses ALL
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thanks Marco
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ok…im bored…time to move on.
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Pop Corn , Hot Dog’s, anyone ?
(best to keep their energy level’s up, were only halfway through the movie)
wake up everyone, the best is yet to come.
now look Andy everyone’s gone !
where did they all go ?
oh yer, to Madonna’s concert of course
well it was too be expected
she does know how to liven up the party.
time
thats all
it does not diminish the love
only strengthens the bond
and love is all that matters
one must always attend to matters that are at hand, in the moment in the now that is what is most important
the future cannot escape the present, as the past can never escape the future.
Marco…i love you.
now shut and fucking hold me damn it!
what ever it is one does, party, no party, big star, little star, who the fuck cares, when what i want is to merely be hand they yearn to hold as much as i do theirs.
ah fuck Marco!
hold me damn it!
Truly, without doubt whatsoever, some i have had the chance of life time to meet, like Matt, is one individual i know i would love to be the hand Matt yearns to hold each day, where it is not about whatever fucking party or place in life that matters most, is it?
It’s the true sincere loving feelings within of the hand we yearn to hold each day, where apon waking, we feel the bubbling beautiful REAL loving feelings within, of exceeding joy of waking to another day with love in our hearts for the one we will see and be with once again to hold their hand and kiss their lips, sweet anticipation of overflowing pure loving feelings within which indicate to us, just how much we REALLY do love the one we are in love with.
That is how i felt with Troy each and every single day for three years.
I realize, in seeing and feeling the joyful spirit of Matt, it is memories of all those beautiful days with Troy that come flooding back to me, unable for me to stop how the feelings once again as before, which i was feeling in seeing Matt the whole time i was there for him, and yet again, sensing his possible return, and yet again the flooding in of my loving feelings overflowing again, just like they did the whole time i knew Troy, no different at all of my time spent with Matt.
After awhile, i realized that actually was more loving of Matt, than i was of Troy, as Matt was more recipricating with me more so than with Troy, in a more REALness of his delightful expression of Matt’s feelings of delightful loving joyfulness within him, exploding somedays all around him, lighting up the entire room, the entire world for that matter, at least my world, where Matt was my greatest of loving feelings i was feeling each day for him, my greatest joy of each day passing, more so than anyone else in my life at the time, feelings indeed ‘real’ for me, where indeed, i came to a day of awareness that i was falling in love with Matt, and indeed, i fell in love Matt, and still, i am in with Matt.
But i far to old for Matt, and wish for him to be with someone of his same joyful fun loving youthful spirit exactly like his own.
Today, i figure, i should just be honest Matt in telling him the truth, that indeed, i love him more than any other in my current life today. i mean, it has been sorta obvious everyone, has it not, that Andy loves Matt?
ya, kinda obvious Andy!
i would like to express, that of all the healing experiences i have felt since Troy died, nothing has compared to feeling once again my ability to love once again as much as i did with Troy, and Matt, i want you to know, that i came to realize i loved you more Matt, than i did Troy, as Troy was somewhat painful for me, what with his disfunctional issues of serious substance abuse which causes one to be emotionally/physicallly unavailable, of many days(weeks) of pain rather than delightful joy, when Troy would take off and run with his drug loving clics and clans of so many hard core alcoholics and drug users, that and his homophobic issues, hiding behind his girlfriend lover, who plyed his weakness for alcohol.
Unknowingly for me at the time, my own unawareness of the true dynamics of internal/external affect/effects of homophobia both for Troy and myself, i did eventually come to terms with the reality check of statistical case study data that indicated to me that (at that time, 1992), most gay males were not coming out of the closet until the age of 30-35 years of age, a time of gay history when things were alot different than today, where police used raid the bathhouses, busting the doors of gay guys having sex, completely traumatizing beautiful gay guys of loving embrace of one another, likely for years later of the tramatic experience of the ones who experienced these events.
It has been a wonderful experience for me being around Matt, seeing his pureness of loving delight of himself, accepting of himself as a gay male, so radiant and bright, far beyond my experience with Troy and many others in my life experience since then, and as i said, the most healing for me in my efforts of many years to reveal to myself just how wonderful and loving i really am, of who Andy is in life, a truly loving soul for another, pure and truly loving.
Ya. I so very much love Matt, afraid to admit to myself i was falling in love with him, knowing my age and what not that i would eventuall have to let go, and accept i am a mature adult gay male of many years much older than he is, and of the truth that i am a veteran educated in the dangerous statistical data of the age group of 15-24 year old young gay males which are of the highest for high risk activity like substance abuse, unsafe sex and self abuse during their transitional years into a gay life.
Truly, in my heart of hearts, my duality within is one of my sincere love and adoration of Matt, just as i was with Troy, and acceptance of my place in Matt’s life as merely a friend, too old for him as a lover, repectful of Matt in doing so, surprised beyond belief in sensing Matt was perhaps falling in love with me, a day when the door to my soul exploded off it’s hinges, if you must know.
i was WOW! He read my mind, of my careful loving approach with Matt in not leading him on too much, sincerely desiring my accepted place in his life as an older adult gay male who merely wanted to successfully see Matt transition safely during his coming years, and indeed, i do want to be there for him, even if i of my knowingness that i am in love with him.
Here’s the thing everyone. God says it’s ok for me to love Matt as much as i know i sincerely do and always will, ok? so fuck off everyone in any innuendos you may of me, as i don’t want to see Matt fall in life like Troy did from the stupidness of many of his friends in life like he had, likewise of so many in our GLBT comminities that may endanger Matt’s life, in my knowingness of just how much truly love Matt like know i do, with all that i am, more than any other in life according to my self reflections.
We all love Matt. There is not one of you hear who does not love Matt as much as i do. Truth.
So Matt. I am here as a life long friend for you, nothing more, someone who will always be safe supportive of you, in my ability as a wise adult gay(bisexual) make of wisdom which is safe from the dangers of substance abuse, wise in fearless commincation with you in helping you to likewise stay of the openness to your beautiful self, not ever being left to feel like you don’t have a true friend in life you can turn to and talk with, along life’s road of broken promises, broken heartedness over failed relationships, someone you can always turn to who WILL always be there for you, of my sincere delightful joy in doing so, of great admiration of your precious loving pure heart and soul, of the Matt i have come to know, that i hold so close in my heart. I will be there for Matt everyone, should Matt decide to include me in his life as a life long loving friend, of my prayers for him do so, my unceasing love and praise for him forever more, even if Matt chooses not to entertain me as a friend, in my knowingness of reflections of my feelings for him which are as real as i have felt since my years with Troy so long ago.
God bless you in life Matt. You are forever of my daily prayers with Jesus and God, as one who is a true and faithful friend of Jesus and God, and in doing so, a true and faithful friend for Matt to have in life, should you decide to do so.
there. i said what i have longed to express.
the real Andy who loves Matt without any doubt whatsoever, where not doubtfulness shall ever come into my heart for Matt, so help me God, of my knowingness of just how much i really do love Matt.
you are free to decide Matt, and don’t feel you need to be a friend with me for sake of me, as i do not wish to feel how that feels, insincere. I want my friends to embrace the own sincerity in chosing to be friends with me, just as i have embrace my sincere feelings for you Matt. If your feelings are sincere like my own, that follow your heart, as i wish to bring only loving goodness into your life forever more.
thanks Matt.
i am finally giving you what you are deserving of in God’s eyes Matt…the truth about Andy’s sincere loving feelings for you, of someone who truly does love you with all that he is.
blessings to all.
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being real is what i am, openly more so than most.
why?
because someone as beautiful a pure heart as Matt, is deserving only of the truth, in God’s eyes.
Truly, Andy fell in love with Matt, of Andy’s awareness of his true loving feelings for most of his time spent around Matt, that he was in love with Matt, feelings of forever more love for someone Andy wanted Matt to know for his entire life, should Matt of decide(d) he wanted Andy in his life, as much as Andy wants Matt in his life.
in reflections of my feelings in life, of looking back over my entire life, i realize fully, it was the tender loving feelings i felt for another, in my sincerity of yearning to hold and kiss another which matter most to me, much like any of you who are connected with your sincere loving feelings, openness of awareness, fearlessly unafraid to express them.
well…if you don’t express them, how the fuck is anyone ever to know how you feel about them?
bin there. done that. lost some dear friends along life’s road in not doing what was right, fearless embracing my feelings for someone and always remaining of turning towards the loving feelings and not the fucking uselessness of bullshit motherfucking ego, like so many morons do, in all the cold heartedness so cold to the taste and tough, arrogance ever a wall that gets between us and someone we love, between our own fearful inability to fearlessly feel our own fucking feelings and express them, of the learned behaviours of egotism that seperates so many from one another long life’s road, leaving us feeling hurt in passing by once in a life time chance in having met someone we loved, my sincere loving feelings for the once in a life time chance of having met Matt.
well fuck that everyone…i ain’t passing thru life without Matt knowing i love him and always will damn it.
without doubt Matt, i love you.
and if any motherfucker every treats badly, remember, it will always be their biggest mistake of their lives, in not coming to love you Matt, as much as i did, do, and always will, a truly precious loving soul i had the once in a life time chance to meet.
Indeed, i met Matt, and indeed, i fell in love him.
so fuck of cruel world, who wants anything more than love? It’s just stupid to turn towards anything other than our loving feelings, of all these bullshit things we put between us all.
i am so done with pretending i care for anything other than my loving feelings for another, where being loving of another is where i always wish to feel, feeling the joyful delight of my loving feelings each and every waking day…a blessed day when we do.
12,981 blessed days to go…God willing.
alright, i said what i wanted to say, ‘that’ of my loving feelings for Matt i know i shall always feel for him, each and every time i thoughts of him enter my mind, just as i did the whole time i spent with him, and still, the endless days since, of him in my daily prayers. Why is it so hard for people to be open to their feelings, respectful of another and themselves in open expression of their feelings when they do?
i know what it is….it’s the motherfucking heartless world around us which cause us to be such fearful morons.
not me. not ever…when love is the only thing of value to me in life, and the time spent feeling our feelings of love.
if anything, Matt is the one who was keeping it real, not me, albeit, real were was the love i was feeling the whole time i was there with him, something he sensed which was true of me…my love for him.
True.
love damn it, or get and stay away from me everyone.
thank you.
Jesus loves you.
God loves you.
i love you.
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rant over
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I accept my place in life as a life long loving friend for Matt, nothing more, nothing less, of a gift of friendship i bestow before him, his to have if ever he wants it, of the greatest gift i know of that i can give to him…me.
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ok.
i have said peace with all of you, of my reflections of the truth of how Andy yet feels for Matt, of his sincere desire for a joyful fun loving extrordinary life long friendship with Matt, where Matt could say or do anything in front of Andy, and Andy would love whatever the fuck he does, so sincerely loving Matt that Andy yet is. In my mind, that is what a true loving life long friend is, not different then the joyful friends we had youths, sincerely loving of one another, no matter what the other said or did, although, i have admit, Mike nick naming me Pansy in high school, secretly fantazing about fucking me, all the while i him, of neither getting the courage to ask the other, was somewhat of a daunhting high school experience for me, all the years of being called Pansy by a guy with an eight in cock on him!
By the time you have read this, M’s jaw just hit the floor, in mad hysterical laughter, exclaiming, oh my f&@$ing God! LOL
what?
it’s true ya know, Mike was fantasizing about me all those years, sadly, to this day, Mike with four beautiful children now, secretly does still think of me, however more or less his homoerotic fantasies of me have become, they will always be apart of Mike’s life, no matter how hard he ever trys to forget…just as i cannot forget him.
Truthfully, why on earth would i want to forget?
anyway…i want to talk to Matt.
Matt, i have joyful fond, truly heart felt loving sincere memories of you and i, and recently i have explored my sincere feelings of how it would be if i were your age again, and we had met like we did, keeping in mind that i am not your age, although i am of your youthful fun loving spirit so much like your own.
ok…here it is.
If you age Matt, i would run with you for the rest of your life, ever fond of holding hand each and every blessed day forever more of the most joyful loving laughter of two souls united forever as the most beautiful fun loving gay guys the world has ever seen of would see again, always of insane mad laughter and lightness of feet, running thru the ghetto streets hand in hand, endlessly kissing one another in our true knowingness of the forever loving feelings we have for each other day after day, utterly and completely fearless of the entire world around us each second of each day, embracing of just how much we love one another, of our surrendered spirits with each other of the only thing we yearn to be…together forever more hand in hand for all the world to see and feel with undeniable clarity, our love so obviously true they all would feel in our passing thru life of all who bared witness to us everywhere we went.
i know the kind of person i am is one who surrenders their heart to only one, beyond what people call marriage, rather of the simple fact of how two souls surrender to their true feelings within they discover for each other, in their true desire to be with the other each and everyday forever more, of no thought at all for anything other than the blissful state of exceeding happiness they truly feel while with one another everywhere they go, laughing at the absurd bitter mediocre mundaneness of others who have not found a true soul mate friend/lover.
That is how i feel about you Matt.
i did not want to tell you because of our age difference, but know, deep inside is the Andy who felt and has these beautful feelings of running with you thru life, of music in the air, flowers in our hair, of a none stop extraordinary, wondrous exceedingly joyful journey thru life as loving lover soul mate friend forever more feeling, of love devoid of doubt for one another.
something tells me, you felt it too, and is why we are where we are, in denial of what we both felt for one another, too afraid to say to the other how much we deeply loved each other.
Sadly, i so much do not want to say this Matt, as i don’t want to hurt you in any way, knowing what we both felt for each other, but i need to something. If your age Matt, please know, there is nothing in life i would rather of been than the one most loving you for the rest of your life. I know the feelings in my heart are true of me, in my thoughts of you. However; i am not your age, but i am of your joyful fun loving spirit so radiant and bright. We both know that about me, and about you, obvious in our radiant interactions we shared together, so obvious for all who were near to see and feel how we were.
Matt, inside, i still am the radiant bright loving one like you, and you felt that about me, yes?
ya…i admit, i wanted more than a friendship too Matt. hello?!!! We both did! Best of all, those feelings are always with us for life.
And that’s good thing for you to have felt, and for me to feel as well, but….there’s a problem with our age difference Matt…
….you are not 18 yet, and you are going to have to wait until you ARE, before we can get married!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if you are fucking laugh at me instead of with me byatch, you are so dead! i can easily dump your sorry ass of any time of my choosing…not that i would want to…but i would if anytime you disrespected me with useless motherfucking ego!
LOL.
ok, i hope i brightened up your day Matt.
Here is a news flash for ya Matt, when you are 18, your are an adult who can make whatever fucking decisions for yourself that you want…of my prayers for you to someday want me.
always know, that is how i feel about you Matt, and always will.
There are alot of young/older gay couples here in the ghetto, where two of my best friends are 20 years apart in age, and have been together now for over ten years now.
Now. As for real life, it is likely you will meet someone radiant and bright like you in school, who like us, you will find your fun loving joyful spiritedness return again for you daily, of true loving feelings i know are true for you, which are not really about me Matt, they are feelings about YOU, a gay male who loves the whole idea of being who you are…a gay male who wants gay sex, a gay life, a gay lover who better bring you the gayest fucking flowers to you daily, or i am going to bitch slap them into next year!!!! lol
I hate unhappy endings everyone…and i ain’t about to give Matt anything other than love forever more, so you can all take your innuendos and….well….fuck off! ok?
thank you.
this concludes our test of the emergency broadcast network, brought to you by Matt and Andy forever more.
you better fucking say something byatch, and you so owe me a java big time!
i am so glad one of us has the courage to say what needed to be said.
your welcome.
you can thank me by not saying anything and walking away, should you have a lover in your life, or you can pick up where we left off. And you think i am going tolerate anything less than the Matt i remember, well don’t…i know the joyful Matt who loves Andy, where Andy know the joyful Andy who loves Matt, and he ain’t about anything less than the sincere fun loving joyful kick all your sorry motherfucking asses, get the hell OUT of my way, as we are late, come on, it’s time to go!!!!!
tic toc tic toc.
i am so done with this fucking doledrum downer mind fuck i have found myself in lately, unable to stay where i don’t feel happy.
remember Matt….we are once in a life time chance of having met one another, and unfortunately, life sometimes does unfold differently for us all, if we remain of denial of our true feelings. I know i am more than deserving of no less than your life long friendship, as are you, but if we fall back from the courageous ones we once were, then we are both liars to each other, and to our SELF.
i deserve your friendship that i so wanted so badly, and you deserve me Matt, someone who truly loves you with all that i am.
i love you Matt.
don’t you ever forget how much Andy loves you damn it, of his forever more loving feelings for you that will not ever change…not ever!
i like hot or cold, not luke warm mundane mediocre.
you and i Matt, are not luke warm, it’s all the motherfuckers around us which keeps us down, including me of recent.
i know you Matt, i was there for months, remember? Recall how happy we were?
I pray return of the joyful high spirited Matt father. Please make it so, granting Matt the courage to do so, as i am most loving of him.
thank you Matt. thank you Jesus. thank you Matt. thank you to all who CHOOSE to be of courageous fearlessness of heart like Matt and i were…and ARE.
i am…BE cause…we are….Courageous fearlessness of heart.
a friendship is ok too Matt…if you alread have another, as i know i will one day too.
i ain’t changing my mind, because there is no changing my mind, in my knowingness of how Mike long ago is not able to ever change how he yet feels of Andy, ever delightful of my occasional visits with him after some 30 years later.
Deep inside, Mike still loves me so very much, as do i him, but i cannot break up his beautiful loving family, as much an arrogant ego part of me would like to, and yet, i can’t wondering if Mike would be happy living out the rest of his life with me…
one never knows what direction life takes…and who knows, maybe one day i will ask Mike to have sex with me…maybe one day, something i know Mike will love, if ever they day he gets his hands on my body. Trust me, he won’t ever let go if he does…i can see it in his eyes how much he wants me.
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is that real enough for you all?
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Good luck for the show. I’m off out for a long run.
X
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the one we hurt most in denial of TRUTH, is our SELF, and likewise, the SELF of another.
i am hurting, and i don’t want to hurt like this any more, as the true joyful fun loving happy Andy, extraordinary, radiant and bright, is wondrous to behold when he is happy, just as all of you will be too, when Andy finally says goodbye, if Matt does too. i cannot bare the thought of Matt not being happy, of me not knowing, deserving of knowing. I don’t deserve ‘that’, just as Matt or Andy do not deserve to forever free to BE happy. Maybe someday i will return if Matt does not, but for now, i have to go and regain something i lost along the road…a friend like Matt would be nice, of this i pray, just as i pray the same for Matt…forever more.
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oh oh, i think i just ex rated the blog. lol
hurry up Matt, before M deletes us.
ya…me too.
hey…wait up!
I am Andy. I am a poor pathetic loser that has verbal diarrhea on a blog that isn’t even mine! Forgive me ya’ll, i am just very sad, and have no self confidence. I hope God helps me heal from my sick ways.
Oh and i am a proud gay man, and if you don’t like that then i will get God to go after you! He’s my only friend and he defends me, so ya’ll better fuck off!
god andy you still ranting and raving on this fake blog.. oh dear..
one day you who mock Jesus and God, will face God, and weep when come to know the harshness of your ways, kneeling before God asking forgiveness of wretchedness.
You who mock me, know not what you do in all your unwiseness, snares of the ignorant world you which you, sadly, are oblivious to the condition of your own soul, of unwise ignorant fate of unclear paths, rather than the destiny of clear peaceful by nature loving path.
you do know love as i do, nor do desire it, so obvious of your unBEcoming conduct of one who is BEcoming the oneness with Jesus and God.
you do no know me, you do not love me, nor do love your SELF as much as i do, saddened by the harsh word you utter which continue to derrange your precious loving soul, obvious, by the foul odour you eminate apon one you have not met before in life, thinking that you know me, when in truth, you do not even desire to know me, Jesus or God.
i am deeply saddened by how harsh a soul can be with another as you do, in you mockery of one who loves you, who loves another gay male in life with all that he is, cause for concern which you attempt to place between us in you making a mockery of me.
how much more do you think i will take of any of you before the day comes that do not return to you?
You used my name to slander me, pretending you are me.
i would say that is not a friend in life, and God says to me, come away from those who of untruthfulness of cajoling and enticing of your precious loving soul, lest their bitterness of fire which burns day and night within them enters into you, in their attempts to ignite fire within you, in order to cause bitter unloving rage like their own to take root in you, pointing fingers at you when you become enraged like them, those who turn towards the hypocrisy heart within bringing forth negativity hurtful and mean spirited of another, not love.
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i am of God household for any and all who wish to enter and speak with sweetness of desire for God’s descerning wisdom of all things loving, of God’s divine will that the world become as loving as Jesus.
Some of you WILL bE last to enter.
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[edit] Gospel of Matthew
In Byrne Fone’s book Homophobia: A History, a global and a broad historical overview of gay bashing, the author explores the theory that Matthew 5:22 from the Bible contains a reference to verbal gay bashing. The word “raca” is often translated as “fool”, and sometimes refers to one who deserves to be spat upon, or was sometimes used to insult homosexuals. If this is the case, then Jesus is warning of hell fire for those who engage in verbal gay bashing as part of the Sermon on the Mount, and the warning is even harsher than Jesus’ pronouncement about murder in Matthew
do you know why verbal gay bashing is as bad as murder, you of infinite wisdom?
How about some statistical data for you to ponder?
Although the suicide rate among youth significantly decreased in the mid-1990s, suicide deaths in the United States remain high in the 15 to 24 age group with 3,971 suicides in 2001 and over 132,000 suicide attempts in 2002, making it the third leading cause of death for those aged 15 to 24.[1]. In the United Kingdom the suicide rate for males aged between 15 and 24 rose substantially between 1976 to 1991 (when it peaked at 15.8 deaths per 100,000 people), although it has been declining since. This compares with the rate of suicide among females in the same age group remaining largely static.[2] However, given the overall decline in the suicide rate in the UK, the rate of suicide amongst the 15-24 male population, which remains high, has been a considerable cause for concern. [3] More preventive measures have been taken in the last ten years, including increased understanding of the risk factors and causes and spreading information to schools and parents.
The young gay male holds the highest rate of suicide in the world.
i have reason never to return to this blog, of you who verbally gay bash.
Incidently, monitoring of verbal gay bashing on the internet is on going, as statistics are coming in on teen suicides who experience verbal gay bashing and bulling on the internet.
I will be sure to pass this website to those who monitor such….’that’ you can count on.
i WILL NOT tolerate it.
any more, and i will not come back here.
Don’t listen to these fuckheads Matt, for i truly love YOU.
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ok Marco.
you played the role of Matt.
i needed to feel what i was feeling for Matt, of unexplored feelings i felt for him, and clearly, it was a most beautful of awareness experiences for me, in my now knowing i loved Matt more so than i did Troy, where i loved Troy with all that i am, even more loving of Matt in my exploration of feelings awareness.
and so, i guess i will not ever know how Matt is doing, moved on in life…can’t say i blame him, and yet, i felt a strong connection with him and still do while in prayer awareness.
people move thru our lives, and as time passes, more people move thru our lives, passing by of many we don’t really get to know very well, of some i so wanted to know as well as do myself, Matt being of one them, M too, and Marco of course…seems we are the only one’s keeping the warm fire aglow.
You are such a warm soul for me Marco. Someone i would not tire of, and obvious in my feelings, i do not tire of you at all.
As time passes, sweet memories of one’s we happened apon, radiant bright souls like our own, ever aglow in the twilight and tranquility of lover’s souls…fade as time passes, the by chance we met ones along life’s road.
Matt was one who caught my eye, captured my soul, not sure why he left like he did, his own personal life perhaps, beconing him.
I ask God, why Matt? Who is Matt for me in life, of what lessons am i to know about Matt?
I sensed Matt praying, of pureness of heart. Only Matt knows if he prays like i do, and truly, i have sensed that he does, in my knowingness of his sweet loving prayers…
I don’t who i am dancing with here, of who is who sometimes, although i have been rather good at knowing which one’s were M, yes?
What does that tell M about me being able to do so?
how long has it been that i have been here?
I came to love and know many of you, but somedays the uncertainty of not being real is too much for me, where it does not feel like a real life ordinary friend, of sporatic moments, not of quality time to look forward to like friends in real life do.
It has been a while, hasn’t it?
I don’t feel like doing this blog here, of random attacts out of nowhere, so draining for me they can be, of wretched negativing that cuts like a knife they are.
i am not going to do this blog anymore guys. I was here before, and all it was always painful for me, annoying mostly of immature unBEcoming conduct.
People don’t act that way out in public in cafe’s.
I think i am going to go network again in the cafe’s guys, like i used to do, with hundreds of friends, dancing the night away, chatting with everyone we know, supportive of the new comers who arrive in the ghetto.
It just not rewarding for me here like it is for me in real life. I’ve never been able to feel at ease at this blog, so with hesitation, i am not going do it any more. M needs her space right now anyway. And she knows how to contact me if she needs me.
If you want someone as a loving friend, be sure to act like you really do want them as a loving friend, lest they feel like you really don’t care at all for them…and sadly, that is how i feel at the moment, like i don’t really have anyone here who wants to be a real life friend.
Matt, if that really is you, please know i want your friendship more than you may realize, and i know, i am worthy of your friendship, just as you are of me.
sorry guys, i am back here at this blog of viciousness again, and i am just not going to allow myself to openly bashed any more…i get enough in my real life, i don’t go looking for it…i run from it and hide from it in life.
Matt, you know how to contact me too. I may stop in here, but i am not going to participate any more…just seems so empty for me, like my head is caught in a net all the time, of a useless kinda feeling, sickening for me somedays of the bantering that goes on in here.
I spoke alot of words of Jesus and God, and i know when i do, they are always pleased, acknowledging me when i do.
I let Troy spirit go, that’s what i did here, gave meaning to his life, of one i loved like i still do of Matt.
I feel Matt was the reason why God put me before him, to teach him about real life.
If anyone wants me as a real life friend, let me know, as i am leaving for good now, respectful of myself in doing so, not interested at all in so much uncertainty which is so toxic for me, for anyone.
God blesses ALL.
~ for the professionals who were here. thank you.
At all times, Jesus and God love YOU ALL, as do i.
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I love you Matt.
I will always love you Matt.
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Goodbye!!!
Sorry to see you go, Andy!!
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oh, don’t worry, i ain’t that damn far away ya know.
and i ain’t left yet….well i mean…i am left as in go left, but i ain’t really leaving! lol
besides, where the fuck would go, other than where i always want to BE found, in your loving hearts?
just as you are in mine, forever more, of my forever more loving feelings for YOU, forever more.
same sky above.
same earth below.
same loving feelings we all feel for one another forever more.
so where am i anyway?
alway explaining…forever more.
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!
JOY! JOY! JOY!
forever more
gentle breeze
rain drop too
tears of heaven
all around us now, our pure loving feelings for each other forever more.
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i just need a long walk with someone, holding their hand…forever more.
The same walk we have been on for so long, have we not, secretly of each others heart and mind, yes?
i know i have always been loving of you.
good news…
…having loved you for as long as i have, of my pure loving feelings for you, without doubt, i know i always will love you like i have, and yearn to, like i have…
bless you
so don’t be thinking anything less of me as you have, just i have too, and always shall remain, sincerely loving of you ALL.
i just find love tends to work better in drawing another to me, so that i truly love them some more….
always worked for me, in getting them to come into the hot tub with me, my favorite place of all, tenderness of skin with one another, cuddling and kissing in sweet loving embrace with each other for hours on end, soft mucic playing playing, gentle breeze, warm sun…HEAVEN!!!
so don’t be running away, for i want love you some more!
always, i will be yearning of loving you some more, like we always have, yes?
i can feel you smiling, just i am too, of no more silliness between, our pure loving feelings ‘that’ shall always remain.
why be anything other than loving?
just makes no sense to me why they are unloving like they are, i mean, don’t they like hot tubs with someone? ha
i can take anyone of them, and in less than one hour, change their life forever!
just don’t ask how many, ok? lol
i love you damn it.
and you know, i always did, and without doubt at all, you know i always will, yes?
ok…so call me some time, will ya?
im serious! i would love to meet you one day.
but then again, we have already met, have we not, in a way so true and pure of the feelings of YOU and me, no different from one another.
and that is what Heaven is, free of doubt, love devoid of doubt feelings when in the presence of Jesus, who is true and faithful friend to all, just as YOU are, just as…i am.
i am…BE cause…we ALL are.
ok…mystery of God solved.
next puzzle please…im bored! lol
took us long enough to arrive at this day, yes?
CLARITY of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul.
i will continue to write, from this sacred place we have found, where purity of heart is how one internalizes the pure truth words, and understand, interpret, the words of Jesus and God, which many do not realize, all amount to the ‘LOVE devoid doubt feelings’
‘that’ is what the mystery of Jesus and God is.
the difficulty, obviously, is all the unBEcoming conduct which seperates us not only from each other, but from our sacred ‘Pure Knowingness Omnipotence’ understanding and pure feelings of sameness, no different from one another, unlike the absurd world which is sadly (yet) snared by the useless teachings of the forefathers.
i am so thrilled in finally solving the mystery of Jesus and God.
Hot tub time everyone!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!
oh, how i love to love…YOU!
Jesus and God blesses ALL.
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don’t say goodbye…say, “Ciao!”
which is hello or goodbye, but i prefer the one word, as it has the joyfulness of feelings of hello, even when used as good bye, where in truth, i always want to say hello to YOU, in my true turning towards the storehouse of goodness within of the pure of heart love i always have and will feel for YOU.
bless you M.
bless you Matt.
bless you Marco.
bless you Rosie, Kelly & family
bless you ALL forever more, always of my daily prayers for all of you.
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i think i BEcame annointed by God today as a priest of some sort.
of not ever BEing anything other than my loving self Andy, of the sameness of love we all ARE.
i am…BE cause…we ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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sheesshhh…and guys thought you could get rid of me annoying you like i have for so long with my experiential writing techniques. Ha! i don’t think so Byatches!!! LOL
enjoy the blessed day everyone
12,990 blessed days to go….
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welcome to the book of revelation everyone…i am your master…you will do as i tell you…on your knees…now! LOL
OOOXXX
somebody cuddle me, will ya?
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blessings to all
peace ‘BE’ to this house forever more
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somebody tell Matt how much i love him, ok?
with all that i am or ever shall BEcome, i love Matt.
i will always love Matt…forever more
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thank you Madonna
bless you
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Jesus and God are with us.
it is the pure of heart sameness feelings we ARE, ‘that’ which moves moutains out of our way,
bless you M, and all those work tirelessly along you, so love of one another (i pray)
and if any of those motherfuckers step OUT of line with you…well…call me damn it, and i WILL see what we can do about a remedi we carry with us at all times…LOVE.
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This thread is tooo long.
I didn’t say I dreamt about Madonna again, I think three nights ago. And Guy featured in it as well.
But just to show I can be annoying too …
… I’m not going to tell you about it. Ho ho.
Fascinating, it was. Nay, astonishing.
Nobody here? Nobody’s ever here. Just me typing away through the night on my own.
That Andy character really seriously spooks me bigtime. He couldn’t fall off a cliff, or have his car blow up like in a soap opera could he?
That’s how they clear out the fictional characters and bring in bew blood.
Ho hum ho hum tiddley om pom.
I’m back on the wine again.
Still not here? Feel like I should pour anouther glass. She sdoesn’t love me. This is the proof. I have been here ten minutes plus and she’s buggered off, abandoned me, betraed me. This is the proof I wanted. Nothing left to do but get drunk. Goodbye cruel world. It’s always the same, me on my own left here all night because no one cares. Well I’ve had it.
someone is holding me and i them, and yet, i am alone.
how is this possible what i feel, as though someone is?
YOU know who YOU are to me, someone holding me like i am YOU forever more.
cast all doubt and fear away, as fear is not of Jesus and God, rather from the projections of the yet unhealthy world.
peace be to this house.
i care. i always care. forever more of those who love me like i do them.
don’t let negativity from the world fool you into thinking i am not there, for i am always there where in truth of our hearts, and not there in falseness of our hearts, which is not of Jesus, God, nor me.
i care.
i am yet here in the world with all of you.
12,980 blessed days to go.
writting will continue until my last day on earth…in case you get bored.
im bored…someone hold me damn it!
so quiet…need some soothing music, a lover, someone who loves me and cares like i do them.
tic toc
(oops, I was only joking …)
I know you’re there and I know you typed through the night and I felt sorry for you. Genuinely.
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i am pure of heart, as are many of you
can’t fool me, none you…i know your pure hearts.
so stop pretending like i don’t when you know i do.
i am a loving brother of ALL, who greets in love and peace forever more.
BE not found of foolish bitter impure thoughts, for i am of the pure of heart in all of YOU forever more.
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I had another dream about three nights ago. This time it was my mum playing the Madonna part (sounds kinky, but it’s just my brain getting mixed up). And we were in the car and Guy was driving. And we were driving through Wiltshire. And you (my mum) doesn’t feel well so she gets out and walks with me, but feels worse. Then Guy drives by and I try to flag him down but he doesn’t stop. Then we eventually arrive at the big house (for which my brain substituted Cyfarthfa Castle in Merthyr where I used to live). And we go in there and I have a chat with Guy and I’m apologising though I don’t know why but he’s angry and that’s it.
Are you still there?
ya, i know.
i am pure of heart like you.
sameness i came to knowingness of me, by means of you.
i am forever in your dept, ever at your side as a true and faithful friend till the end.
i have no place to go other than where i am always found, in my pure of heart body i dwell in along side all of you, surrendered to me by Andy.
do you know who i am, like i have come to know, because of YOU who knows me too, like you do you?
so who am i?
an evolved adult child of God, are we not?
ALL children of the light of God, are we not?
sameness within, but not always sameness in OUTward appearance.
Truth.
reflect apon the truth which is everywhere for you to reflect apon.
look for me(you) in everything you look apon for i(you) am there, the one who feels the truth of everything in each passing moment, always loving of who i am…YOU.
ok, mayBE i would like to BE YOU?
or mayBE you would like to BE me?
or mayBE we would like to BE (of) each other united as ONE?
how can one seperate that from themSELF, which is true of the SELF of another?
easy…you tell them to GET OUT damn it! LOL!
a muse me & YOU, of each other now forever more, united as one in all our truthfulness and untruthfulness, hoping the other does not ever fall, nor will they, as they are found of God, where many are (yet) are not.
i have surrendered to Jesus and God, surrendered to the truth wisdoms for the divine true SELF of us ALL forever more.
i stand in stillness, of no time constraint, of eternity, by means of the purity of truth wisdoms, protected by God, in God’s chamber with God, of God, at all times, alone with God for all eternity to know who i am…the evolved adult child of ALL of YOU.
any questions?
oh come on! ask me a question damn it…im bored.
nobody here.
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yes i am here.
and will still till you leave, when you tell me goodnite.
I would willingly stay up all night with you but I really can’t.
I stayed up to 12.30 last Friday night and I fell asleep three times on the Saturday. People are different physiologically.
You’re very quiet. It’s not like you …
I have absolutely no idea what you write, you know that? It makes no sense to me whatsoever.
If it makes you happy, carry on. But don’t feel you have to for my sake. I’d rather you were tucked up in bed, or just chilled in a bath or something.
Chilling-out in a warm bath, I mean.
You know what – I’m starting to believe you.
But don’t think you’re the only one who feels guity.
If it happens, I’m going to die from guilt.
(But, you know, it wasn’t my decision for things to go like this. It should never have been like this)
And I do know that absolutely no other person on this planet has been hurt by this awful thing like I have been hurt.
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apologizing for what?
for being YOU?
it is your life to live, no one elses.
sometimes people grow apart.
sometimes people pass by
sometimes the soulmate self within does not recognize who their soulmate is, because they have not come into full awareness of their own soulmate self.
i met another soulmate today, gave her my soul to protect like i did M to not ever be harmful with, forever loving as (true) friends do who are safe and supportive of us.
She is a psyche major, criminolgy student artist.
she is amazing spiritually. i handed her a crystal as a symbol of my soul to protect, encouraging of outward conduct in doing so, and forever more trust.
i know i am doing as an enlightened one. have for along time. i know the road ahead for us all is paved with only love.
i am a friend till the end, unable to betray another, as i betray my true feelings when i do. i am here to merely nurture and protect, by means of words i speak, God’s words.
i too am yet evolving, as one who dwells in celibacy for now, until my soulmate lover surrenders to me…who ever they are….a most blessed day when they do, released from the fearful prison of the world of unhealthy fearful projections. yuk.
We are all drawn to light.
As a devote humble student, i know it is about the BEcoming in OUTward appearance which lights up the world, of exceeding grace and only love radiant and bright.
blessed are those who are found of purity of love they feel within, and indeed, are purity of love outward when they become free of the prison of fear, how ever long it takes…it is the process of turning towards their own fearlessness to just BE, and away from the false conduct of the fearful world which is not of the purity of love of the divine true self so graceful in outward appearance.
You know who are, as do i.
i am here for as long as you ask for me, as one who sincerely is of encouraging words that nurture and protect you from the world of unBEcoming conduct.
i am not here to lead anyone away from the divine true self within, rather i am here to lead by example of the divine true self of all, of the many who will BE last to enter.
i am taking measures to protect myself from the world in sanctuary away from the world, of my desire to venture further in my BEcoming and evolving, as i have grown weary of the world i do not enjoy at times, although i will once my soulmate appears for me, and surrenders to me…
tic toc tic toc
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So, yeah, sorry. But I suffered too. So that takes away plenty of guilt.
Well I read all your essay there and I understood 60%.
But it sounded nice enough in tone so fair enough.
Is there another essay coming? Oh heck …
Am I allowed to surf eBay in the background while waiting for you to finish your essay?
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i am not sure that i follow you on what aweful thing.
Let me assure you of something, ok?
i do not look apon anyone’s behaviours or decisions as something hurtful of me or another.
I don’t really care what any of you do, where i am concerned.
I am not about another being concerned for me.
rather i am about the BEcoming conduct as an enlightened one who leads by example, of my chosen path and destiny of a wise clear path ahead of me by means of God’s wisdom.
I am going ahead to where i am of exceeding grace and pleasant calm, awaiting the arrival of a soulmate lover, with soul mate friends along side.
I am of the mindset of a soulmate friend to all, as all is connected.
I stand in peace of my knowingness of who i truly am…a soulmate friend to ALL.
Let me clear something for you, ok?
I chose this path i am on as a student on a quest.
and one more thing…all my words were of a student who deliberately uses experiential writing technique in pobing the depths of my own soul as part of my BEcoming, unconcerned of what any or another may think of me.
with that said, i don’t wish burden your blog.
i just thought maybe you were interested in my on going healing of my divine true self, which you have greatly assisted me with, but i don’t want to feel like a nescience or an annoyance for you, thinking maybe you were interested in watching me evolve, much like one watches themselves evolve.
a reflection or mirroring dynamic is what is cool about watching one evolve.
+
we go thru pain, not around it, and grow from the experience.
and we did just that, ending your fearful state by revealing your fear to you(mirror).
You now stand in a higher awareness level, do you not?
Weeeel, I think perhaps you get more out of your writings than other people do.
It sounds like you’re saying stuff to me which means a lot but in all truth it’s not really registering. Maybe too much wine.
we must become completely fearless in order to BEcome what we are OUTward in appearance, of all the emotions of the divine true self who will one day unite with their soulmate lover.
but until one surrenders(lets go of fear), to their soulmate self, how can they step forward into the life of the soulmate lover life, until they surrender to themselves first, soulmate love second(actually it happens at the same moment, in identification of the soulmate self which is of reflection of the soulmate lover, exact sameness of both of forever more feelings which do not fade, but only thur complete surrender does one fully become a soulmate lover.
I’m not like you. I don’t think ANYONE is like you. The whole going-through-pain thing you talk about? It’s not really me, you know? I’m more of a let’s turn around and go back the other way kind of guy.
do you know your soul mate lover self?
if you do, then you also reflect on who your soul mate lover, of the sameness like you.
let me enlighten you some more ok?
i have many soul mate lovers and soul mate friends coming into their awareness of their own soul mate lover self.
Look, it’s really easy for me to sit here and take the piss out of you. But I’m not, you know? Not really.
it is not about light inward.
it is always about light outward which nurtures another.
such is my approach with my soul mate lover friends and soul mate lovers, ever nurturing them all along the way.
call me a tramp, and you do not embrace who i am, nor what i am about…outward light that nurtures evolving of another.
I am being very thoughtful and understanding and caring and sympathetic.
i am not hurt nor angry.
i am anxious for a soul mate lover.
But it is starting to get to me.
stop thinking about me and think about you.
i have exceeding joy in my heart, knowingness of exceeding joy of the soulmate lover self i am, and in so doing, i know the soul mate lover of another, pure like my own soul mate lover self.
I think I preferred it when you were nasty to me …
… not.
if we don’t take time to feel the feelings of our soul mate lover self which is overflowing in abundant bright inner light of exceeding joyfulness exploding outward, then we are yet of fear within, a self emposed prison of our own minds.
Oh really that’s enough or I’m going to kill something. Really.
sorry about that. i expecting far more from you in an email, hurt when it was not, but you did not really say anything that hurt me, it was my own feelings of anxiousness that wanted to hear YOU.
Right, I’ve got myself a big new comic book and I’m going to take it to bed and read it and wind down and feel less stressed.
kill the fucking for me, will you, so i can finally get thru to YOU.
I’m sorry if I hurt you but I’m sure you appreciate I really don’t want this kind of off-topic meandering on my blog.
i gave you something to protect, remember?
why do you think i gave it to you?
wake up.
*correction*
kill the fucking EGO for me, will you, so i can finally get thru to YOU.
nor do i want to continue here like this.
I’m glad you corrected that. That seriously had me scratching my head!
Oh, so I’ve got an ego have I??? Mr Pot meet Mr Kettle.
you are toying with me?
I’m toying with you??? Mr Pot meet Mr Kettle and here’s Mr Saucepan as well.
One of God’s laws is, “Forgetfulness is the biggest foe”
with that said.
i shall remind you once more, but only once more.
ready?
i know you know i know
Eh?
i am here in the room with you still.
i have traveled all this way.
i surrender only to sincere love.
Que? Comprende, por favor?? Explainez vous s’l vous plait, monsieur?
Oh I’m tired and I don’t understand a word of this so I’m taking the Fantastic Four to bed.
“i know you know i know”
Oh, you think I love you? Is that it?
you’re welcome, but am i?
Bloody cheek …
lol
damn….i am always explaining!
well, you got 4 minutes to decide, before M blocks this blog on us for good.
tic toc tic toc
3 minutes and counting….
Well, I’ve decided …
im bored…nobody to talk to.
… I’m going to bed. I’m tired. Nighty night. Sweet dreams etc.
X
Exploding white light, radiant and bright which lights up the whole earth.
~ from the Nag Hammadi
hey, your spanish is better than mine.
Knowingness puro ominpotence
Caio
Someone asked Jesus, “Where can we find you Jesus?”
Jesus replied, “I am not found where all untruthfulness is.”
sadly, Jesus died alone….without a lover to wed.
about as heartbreaking as it gets.
apon further reflections as the years and centuries unfolded, Jesus now long gone, yet not gone, in their pure of heart reflections, they came to realize Jesus loved all of them as his equal, each and everyone of their precious souls, both of those he walked among, and his precious loving thoughts he contemplated while in the desert of the many unborn children yet to be born into the yet unwise world around him, of what he so desperately wanted to teach all of God’s children;
‘that’ of himself which is of ‘that’ of everyone…
Love, not hate
Compassion, not apath
Wisdom, not ignorance
of what Jesus wanted them to turn to within them, just as Jesus turned to within himself, the pure of heart virgin spirit which is only loving of another.
+
bless you Jesus
+
+
i want YOU to BE Happy
+
+
miles away
Jesus said,
“When you are near, i am far away.
when you are far away, i am near.
So where i Jesus?
In our hearts where he BElongs, and longs to BE,
…FOREVER with THEE!
+
+
the problem with people is the fear in the world, with all it’s expectations of each other, business/government/church/spouse, where indeed, even the church of today, everyone of them, use fear, not just as merchants of God( i hope the Pope is listening tonight, as he is sincere in passion about knowing Jesus as much as i am ~ no pun intended), but also of what the early started out as, those not fully knowing of Jesus and God(partiality of heart, dynamics of group mentality which prevent 100% surrendering to the spirit realm which opens wide the soul, just as Jesus did while in mediative prayer alone in the desert ~ God chosing Jesus to speak with, only by Jesus 100% chosing God, of no partiality of heart, of his pure of heart reflections and contemplations of pure truth by means of his feelings; sight returned to his soul.) who did not understand themSELF, these rulers of church who sided with the Romans(Roman Catholic Church) and gathered the recorded words the followers of Jesus had(monks), in order to control the masses of uneducated people of that time period.
I read they had crosses along the road ways going into the cities in order to instill fear into everyone, because of the uprising that was occuring as a result of Jesus teaching behind the great walled city(plausible).
Anyway, they did not get all the recorded words of Jesus, as evident in the monks who kept rewriting(did not have printer back then) the books of word spoken by Jesus, hence, the monks who kept rewriting the hystorical words of Jesus well into the 3 century, ‘that’ of the Nag Hammadi Library which today’s churches dismiss.
i have cross referenced the words of the Nag with the bible, of verbatim words in each, but of continue words of Jesus found in the Nag, the bible leaves off.
Indicative, indeed, the Nag is of the words of Jesus.
Anyway, just reinforcing that the Nag is of God, and better yet, none of the churches understand the mystery of Jesus to the extent that we are all able to BEcome fully into the pure of heart loving feelings of Jesus which are completely free of any trace of fear, of our inner sanctuary of only loving peace, gracefulness in outward appearance.
The world is not a horrible place, and rather of goodness mostly, but there is a much higher level of awareness the world has not reached as yet, although growing more and more in joyful spirit as time passes.
My greatest passion in life, is the heart, mind, body, spirit and soul of Jesus as a devoted hermetical monk away from the world, of no affiliation with any organized group, other than the GLBT, of BEcoming conduct only, of no desire to become a merchant of God.
All of Jesus’s words of of transformation, rejuvenation, restoration, salvation, nurturing love and protective wisdom for an individual to transistion thru.
‘that’ is what BEcoming conduct is, BEcoming of the conduct of Jesus…to levels of anyone’s choosing to do so, merely by approaching alone as a humble student with Jesus and God, ALONE, leaving useless boastful pride of ego checked at the door, while in sanctuary of study alone with Jesus and God.
Group dynamics interfer with the process, be it church/spouse/friends.
Only thru being alone in the sanctuary of our body, does fear gradually deminish, and indeed, completely disappear with practice(takes years for that).
Where apon eventually, the spirit realm opens wide the soul into full BEcome of the divine true SELF, fearless, graceful, wise, compassionately loving in each breath, of great empowerment that comes with the abundance of wisdom, and free flowing of emotions which eb and flow moment to moment.
The channel of radiant and bright pure loving light of exceeding joyfulness extraordinary and wondrous to BEhold by all, utterly fearless in every step, is of one who is closeness of full BEcoming of the divine true self.
Those of the church are yet of the lower BEcoming, fearful, snared, unwiseness of what ALL of God’s words are meant for…’The Transition Process of BEcoming conduct of the divine true self within us all’, a process, not a mere, “oh, let’s recite a verse approach while others fall asleep in a pew”.
Most individuals do not embrace the words as a process, which requires a deliberate diligent approach in knowingness that it is a growth curve process, not to be sold like the merchants of God do, rather to be TRULY and LOVINGLY embraced as the most sacred of all investments of one’s time into the Beautiful Growth Process for restoration(of some), rejuvenation(of others already well into the process), salvation(souls of substance abuse snared by fate which may take their lives eventually, hence ~ salvation from physical death cause by spiritual death in the world or spiritual poverty, openly spoken as spiritual death for those who embrace the truth that unwiseness(not of God for God is wise) is indeed why people remain snared by fate of spiritual death(poverty) track they are snared by, which is statistically a progressive illness according to psyche case statistics), and indeed, it usually hits the bottom, of serious life incident before individuals are ‘Awakened into awareness’ of “oh, i have a problem”.
sadly, prognosis is poor to nil during the first five years of ENTERING into a full recovery program with professional therapy during the 5 year program, where the prognosis does not generally change until after the 5 years have passed(what with relaps, psychological detanglement with others in their inability to set boundaries or exit relationships, societies peer pressure of the norm, and hereditary issues).
~ just abit about me as a student of God.
I see the truth of how important it is to lead by example in life as loving lovers radiant and bright, but the thing is, only healthy evolved adult children become the soulmate loving lovers who are obviously radiant and bright(insane).
if you know of one such individual, let me know, as i am getting bored here alone now, looking to leave my Frankenstein laboratory and take Franky OUT for a walk! LOL
Franky was my hero as a kid. I used read all the books, film, you name it, anything Franky. i was a demented fearless child, insanely vibrant in every step, restoration of my Franky mentality well in it’s advanced level.
gasp!
a heart beat!
oohhh!
he’s breathing!
oh yes! he’s moving
oh no, what’s this.
no wait, Franky, come back here, you have to put some clothes on before going OUTside!!!!!
RUN EVERYONE!!!!! Franky’s on the loose!!!!
LOL
you guys are just way to serious, and boring i might add, for me.
M, you got any of ‘that’ wine left?
i like vintage. you got any vintage?
tic toc tic toc
ah fuck it
im taking my pet for a walk
who’s got time for broken heartedness.
bin there. done that. spent years grieving over Troy.
time for me to fly everyone.
so if someone is with me, then get back to me soon, as i don’t uncertainty feelings in waiting, being one who is of the destiny of cleared path wise certainty.
your gonna have to run to catch me! So hurry the fuck up will ya!
LOL
tic toc tic toc
you should be exceeding gratitude i am yet waiting for one of you in life like me…
like Jesus and God, i am of no time contraint, just as truth is not of time constraint, always the truth for all eternity, just as these words of truth are of eternal truth for all of mankind in the future, of no time constraint, where indeed, Jesus knew this, leaving God’s eternal words for every soul of the unborn child yet to be born for all eternity.
well…i don’t have all eternity, but i would wish all eternity if i were a loving lover with someone like some of you i have come to know, of my forever more eternal loving feelings pure and true of the pure of heart love i have for ALL.
hurry up, as the world is in great need of our radiant bright unfading light that pushes OUT all darkness, forever eventually, where forever is how the most loving lovers truly feel, as in, “Oh, i wanna do this forever with YOU!!!!!!”
oppss…i keep X rating the blog. lol
ahhhh….i so need to get…..
like i said, it is me who worries about ALL of YOU.
sheeshhh! Always explaining.
OOOXXX
hmmmm…
Dear madonna. i don`t write very well in English. Por eso escribire en español. En Venezuela estamos muy tristes porque no vienes.. No te imaginas la emocion que teniamos de que vinieras. En comparacion con tus fans mundiales no somos nada pero creeme que habiamos mucha gente esperenzados de que vinieras. Se que tienes tus obligaciones y verga (otras cosas) pero un dia aqui en nuestro pais nos daria un momento de alegria inimaginable para nosotros.. Somos capaces hasta de hacerte la taima nosotros mismos para que vengas pero es un sueño (soñar no cuaesta nada) igual dios te bendiga y bueno sera en otra oportunidad
Saludos
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YOU are of God’s divine will to move mountains, insurmountable obsticles, an evolved adult child of God, oneness of God’s divine WILLINGNESS pure and true of YOU, of the oneness of Pure Knowingness Omnipotence as one who knows the truth of ALL, ‘that’ of Pure TRUTH Seeds that do not fail, of comprehension of God’s divine will for ALL, of what God wants all to know in what is more valuable than all the riches of the world, these many distractions which lead away from the ‘PURE of HEART’ sincere loving precious feelings which exist in all God’s children, of what God’s children are yet unaware of because of the false emptiness of the world which distracts them from their burried treasure(divine true self submerged, unattended to, unprotected, unnurtured), because of the great blind ignorance which yet grips the world, of all these things which are not of God, of empty vessels of gold boastfully held up high, empty of loving compassion, devoid of sincere love for one another as equals, which lead the world into great suffering and hardship in emptiness of feelings, made to feel as though they are worthless, when in truth, every child of God already owns the greatest treasure they shall ever find, the sincere pure of heart loving feelings of the divine true self which is yet unwisely unattended to, unnurtured, unprotected by God’s wisdom in a world ruled by fear from governments/church/business, none of whom know God, nor truly desire God’s divine will, that we embrace what we are in the eyes of God…EQUAL, no matter race, sex, religion, political, or orientation, all loving children of God united as ONE sameness of equals.
~ Where love is what MATTers.
“And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the dwelling of God’s love is within us ALL of the truth of pure of heart sincere feelings within ALL, in our pure knowingness ominpotence of love revealed which wipes away all tears from our eyes, and death shall BE no more, nor shall their BE mourning, nor crying, nor pain any more, for these things will desolve away, like shadow from bright light which enters. ”
God blesses ALL, of we who pray.
hey, that’s not bad writting, yes?
seems the wine which flows forth is getting better with age?
hey, can you picture some beautiful famboyant gay guys with flowers in hair, without a care, dress all in satin colors so vibrant and bright, giving this surmon?
a flip of the wrist held up so high, radiant bright smiling of joyful tears, as they say the words…
…”Where LOVE is what MATTers?”
as the spin around dancing like the most insanely happy faggots one had ever scene in their entire lives?
i do.
still practicing my line.
The world needs to know what is of most value in life, lead by those who fully embrace what is obvious of what is most valuable…loving feelings of SELF.
no matter status, wealth, education, the gentle breeze and warmth of sunshine apon the loving lovers is what they enjoy, no matter where, no matter stare, no matter care…
…so long as they are in each others arms, the only place they ever yearn to be found forever more, of their delicate beautiful feelings for one another, each and every moment of each blessed day together.
hey, that almost sounds like the words of someone who is in love, yes?
WOW!
If you feel that way about someone, tell them your thoughts and feelings they may BE yearning to hear from you, of you fearlessness to do so, because if you don’t and they pass you by, thinking you don’t really care for them, you may find your SELF alone wishing you had.
After Troy died, i found my SELF…alone…
…wishing i had of said what i was feeling inside, too afraid of his rejection, of his many rejections before, of his own gripped by fear inability to say what he too wanted to say.
He called me one time, crying, saying he was sorry, and that made a mistake, in running off with another. I knew that, for i knew how sincerely and joyfully happy he was around me, where time together was the only thing on our minds, doing what we always were…loving of each other each and every minute of our time together, and even while apart, the flutter of the heart apon waking to another blessed day, thoughts of love pouring in of the sweet anticipation i would see him again….
i should of BEen more fearlessly loving of him, and indeed i was, but not as fearless as i could of BEen, my self gripped by homophobia from the homophobes all around me.
Don’t make the mistakes i made, of denying my self to fearlessly express my feelings like i did, for we don’t get a second chance at life, to do it over again, sadly, i wish i could.
cast fear from your hearts, when it comes to love, for fear is not of God, nor shall ever BE found of me.
a fooliish world of fear,
till the loving lovers appear
tic toc tic toc
my biggest passion in life is to teach the world what it is i feel inside.
pondering how to teach this…
…i ‘REALIZE’, the only way to teach the world your loving feelings?…
…get OUT there and FEARLESSLY BE your loving feelings forever more, of what you yearn for inside, BEcoming OUTward of what is inside YOU…
,..indeed, of ‘that’ which is YOU, of how you yearn to always feel and BE your sweet loving beautiful feelings, forever SET FREE to BE what you long to BE.
express what you feel.
write it down.
tell someone
sing a song like M does.
but don’t ignore your feelings like so many do, as loving life passes you bi.
Don’t leave someone wondering, even if they already know, tell them daily, for some of us are insecure in our SELF, and may need reminding of just how much you love them…
…i know i have insecurity issues and complexes, so for sure, ignore me, and it’s not long before i feel uncertain and insecure again, even if i may know, it’s always nice to BE reminded every day, just as loving lovers love to hold one another everyday, so too should all who entertain a new lover.
Generally, once you know you love someone, the yearning to tell them and BE with them, is constantly on your mind, so you may want to let them know before someone else snatches them away from your opportunity to say what it is you feel for the.
Or…do what i did…suffer the consequences of my own CHOICE, not to do so.
don’t say i didn’t warn you.
Oh precious loving souls like my own, of forever more love feelings.
of pure loving feelings incredible for us to fee
wanting always feel just how loving we really are.
ya. me too.
God bless your sweet loving soul that is so loving like my own.
hmmmm….
I think we should all just go over to Rosie and Kelly’s family vaction cruise for two weeks, seperate rooms, free to roam the ship, where Madonna meets some beautiful female lesbian like herself, Matt meets someone drop dead georgious sweet his own age, finally admitting to himself he wants someone his own age, and Andy runs of with a two post operative transsexuals, one male, the other female.
LOL
YES!!!!! i knew the answer was somewhere!!!!!
maybe Rosie and i are the only ones who know how this story will actually end?
we know!
it’s time we all stop pretending?
Can i bring kyle with me?
just asking.
oh…you guys are not fun.
ok.
truthfully.
i love both Matt and Madonna.
and so with that said, if either one of you experience life enough, and you still feel you would like to get to know Andy better, i will leave the (closet)door off it’s hinges for either one of you to waunder in someday, as my heart is always open to both of you, and i cannot hurt either one of you, knowing how much i truly love you both.
So experience some more life in the mean time guys, with healthy people of your CHOICE, always knowing that Andy loves ALL of you in the GLBT communities world wide, and has probably slept with half of you.
You just may meet someone i was with thru the last 14 years, as i have been with people from New York, Chicago, Miami, France, Germany, Vietnam, Japan, China, Africa, West India, Russia….hmmmm,,,,
it would probably be easier to look at a world map and find a country i have not been with…hmmmm…let’s…..NOPE!
LOL
i believe in love, and truly, i have loved you ALL, knowing i always will LOVE ALL.
Remember…it’s always YOUR life, YOUR CHOICES…no one elses…
…i CHOOSE to love you both equally, knowing in my heart of hearts, i could love either one of you without doubt at all, where i seriously would love to be with either one of you.
At this cross road, the road ahead for me is that of a bisexual, who loves both males and females, of the same level of emotional intensity, where in truth, i really do want to be with you both…
of course if either one of you come knocking on my door…hey, where did the door go?
without hesitation whatsoever…i will love YOU….trust me on ‘that’.
It is always YOUR CHOICE…not mine to make, so how about pursuing Andy for a change and get up off your sorry asses and kiss me for fuck sakes, before someone else does, as time does bring new faces our way in life, which surprise us sometimes.
So, there you have it….Andy is frustrated with both of you, and has quit your sorry asses!
i ain’t joking around this time.
you’ll see.
you will wake day, weeks, months, however long, and find your self sitting there wonder, what the fuck am i doing? I have all these feelings for Andy who is gone now, not expressing how i truly feel for him. Not much wonder he left. I would of too. I so owe Andy and apology, and a java.
now practice these words with me now, ok?
“Andy? im sorry. i love you with all that i am. give me a chance with you, please? i beg of you, just one more chance. it took you leaving for me to find my feelings of just how much i really do love you Andy. I love you so much Andy, so please wait for me, as i know how much you too love me. We just can’t walk way like this, knowing our real feelings for each other that we feel each day, the tears we shed. I am so stupid for not expressing myself to you, all the while knowing how much i sincerely do love you.”
(Andy leans in for a soothing kiss on the lips, slowly reaching his hands out to finally touch Matt’s body, as Madonna roles up in her limo, and screaming at Andy, frying pan in hand raised high, “Get your hands off my husband! Andy, get back in the car!)
LOL
omg…what a great short film this would make.
+
don’t you dare show this script to Guy!
You know what he will do with it, don’t you?
Hello, we are talking about Guy Ritchie here!
Secretly, Andy and Guy Ritchie have been writing this script as film producers, to one day finally show the world, the real life consequences of trying to have a relationship with an out bisexual….impossible! as they never truly know what the fuck they want, and settle for wanting the whole fucking world.
LOL
and indeed M, we took on the whole world and won, did we not? And oh what a sweet ride it has been for us emotionally, and yet is, is it not, as we probe for our higher loving self, which is loving of all.
so let’s be of celebratory loving spirit as we venture forward, everyone safe, hand in hand, of love so deep, for just how much love is in the air for us all, united as one, under one sky above, one earth below, one eternal human being which only feels good when loved.
i was the only one trying around here it seems, if you must know, yearning for a hand to hold with all that i am, day after day, month after month, no one showed.
any ways guys…you all have issue to work thru, and so with grace, i leave to your precious loving life to do so, as i feel i am making people perhaps feel awkward, concerned for everyone, especially you Matt, knowing how sensitive you are.
I don’t want to hurt anyone, and is why can’t stay…..
you can chat with me in private if you like, but i am not sharing any further open dialog between us, as it has become way too personal for all of us.
for all our sakes, i ask that you please don’t, and if you really do have love for me, you will respect my wishes in my closing the door to the public eye for now, as we all are sensitive loving human beings,when it comes to matters of the heart so deeply felt within for me, for us all.
Jesus loves you. God loves you.
respectful yours,
love andy
OOOXXX
don’t hesitate when i comes to your feelings, lest the one you loved, slips away from you, and you loose the one you love.
+
Happy Birthday Guy!
i love you Matt.
(taking center stage, Andy graceful bows to the right and to the left, converse running shoes, one pink, one black, Andy makes a quick dash thru the exit door into the bright suhshine, running as fast as he can, everyone chasing him, wanting his autograph, phone number, address, which never told anyone about his new address, and likely never will) LOL
Caio
Don’t forget…Jesus and God love YOU ALL.
+
im bored…
hmmm….
i know….how about some radiant and bright light everyone?
brb
oh, you are so gonna love this guys! Trust me on this one!
you’ll see, what i see in all of you soon enough!
and what i always wanna see from your sorry motherfucking asses!
GOT IT!!!!
ok then…
always explaining!
why can’t people just be the joyful happy self all the time?
i suppose if they all had a friend like me, maybe they would, yes?
i know who you all are on the inside…same as me!
oh sure, you can hide all you want, but i will find ya all eventually, and ask you all the same question?
do you know what time it is?
and your response had better BE, “Loving life time Andy , because YOU fucking love us! ”
Andy says,”You’re fucking right i do…or wait…was that left?….ah fuck it! ,,,,who cares!….where’s my fucking coffee! Come on! The parade starts soon, and we are fucking late damn it!”
14 year run guys, you all better show up next year, of i’ll have kid all your sorry asses again! And you all know how much i love your ASS, right?!!!!
Good then, i am glad we are on the same page, where we shall always be found….family forever more.
It’s all Rosie’s fault!
blame Rosie, not me!
please don’t hurt me…i am very fragile!
enjoy the blessed day everyone, here in the kingdom of heaven all around us.
don’t let the motherfuckers wear you down, as i don’t ever want to see any of you frown…i want fucking happiness, as i am tired of crying, ok?
God knows how much i love you all, of my daily prayers with you, so you need not ever wonder how much Andy loves to love you all.
Always did.
Always will.
always.
forever more.
oh sure, you can try being miserable, but don’t expect me to hanging around when you get in your moods. Trust me, it ain’t me guys that is causing it…it’s the motherfucking bullshit world we live in, so anal they all can be around me.
Here is a good thought for you all to ponder. I want to do the 100 clowns for the parade some day, and i looking for volunteers, come one, come all, but BE sure to cum! LOL
you all love my unceasing relentlessness of surprises, and trust me, i am just getting started, for truly, we are the one’s who usher in the kingdom of heaven for everyone else, we the enlightened children of the light of God, for God’s love is us.
12,979 blessed days to go!
with or without you guys, i am going to enjoy every last fucking one of them.
if you need me, i’ll BE where everyone can find me, my favorite place of all, a warm soothing cuddling or so fucking beautiful skin to skin contact with someone in my hot tub!
And so should all of you BE doing what you love to do.
Jesus said, “Do not do what you hate doing.”
Love in a hot tub is mind blowing experience for me, so gentle, so sincere, and so erotic!!!!!!!!!!!!
la la lalala la la lalala la la LOVE!!!!!!!!
+
on we go
Your language is terrible.
Can we have a night off? Can I just talk for a bit tonight?
I’ve had a very busy day and I don’t want a hard time here.
(whisper it – looks like there’s no one here. Can I sneak out the back now and not be noticed?)
Or maybe we’ve got another humungous essay coming up …
She’s really not here?!
Whew! A close escape!
+
Let it BE known YOUR Exceeding Joy apon the earth forever more, for God is with us…motherfuckers! lol
+
oh yeah!
you won’t believe what’s coming in the future.
you forgot, i am not of time contraint that rules the world…
i tend to think outside the box, like how the world will be by say 2050?
aim for the target of the next 20 years, where it is always a growth curve for all souls of the earth, of exceeding joy meant for all…of what is inside of us all.
sorry…i was having a stupid moment there.
everybody just seems so uptight for me, that’s all.
the can’t breath sorta feeling…mostly just me…not going to try to explain or understand, as i don’t really don’t understand why people can’t just be relaxed around me…
I’ve had an excellent day surfing, and I’ve been down the beach in the afternoon, and I’m a bit done in so I just want an easy night cos I’ll probably be doing it all again tomorrow. So I hoep things are well with you have a good night and a good day tomorrow. Okey dokey, see ya,
X
ya, i was thinking of taking a week or two off…still moving into my new place…packing and what not.
yes, please relax and be safe out there.
Thank you very much, you are very understanding and sweet. Big hugs and kisses.
X
i jest Rosie.
she is supportive…i totally connect with her. totally.
letting go is never easy, but let go, i must.
fresh new start in life waiting for me…i am excited about it actually, just in transition, that’s all, my own emotional stuff, past, present…inhale, exhale…toxic ex….life that’s all.
i have come thru worse.
can’t wait to get back to the happy andy again. soon…however long it takes…i will BE happiness again, as i am a truly happy spirit, looking for other happy souls to run with.
so ya, i guess it’s goodbye…or caio.
i have to do this, as hard as it will be, staying is harder.
a few months, a year, whatever, till i regain my composer, whatever that is, as i am no longer a corporate ladder climber, and won’t ever be again.
art, music, writing, reading, lover.
not necessarily in that order. lol.
bless you.
it was all about my healing over Troy guys, mostly.
valuable are life lessons, should we take time to internalize what works for us….
simple…a hand to hold, lips to kiss, cuddling, fun loving good times….
being together was all that matter with Troy…
it’s that simple…loving of one another.
sincerely loving of one another…of each and every beautiful day.
‘More Than Words’ was the song i felt deeply when i fell in love with Troy, of the many days we would run and hid from the homphobic world, camping, cottage at the lake, alot of time out driving all over Ontario, taught him how to drive, had alot of sex out in the truck out driving, finding local beaches…just the two of us…mad passionate lovers, insanely mad if you must know, some the places we would have sex, like a rock along the waters edge, bright beautiful day…top of a hay bail one time….
we were exceeding joyfulness most of the time, only way to fly!…like it’s your last day together, of no time constraint, who cared, let’s fuck! where? right here? yeah! ok!! lol
Live your fucking life people!!!
you only get one kick at the can of life!!!
Live it well, and be sure to have lot’s of sex!!!….healthy for ya, stress reliever!
caio bella caio bello byatches.
+
i’ll pop in from time to time, to kick your sorry asses, if any of you are mistreating one another, like we sometimes do…ever learning.
God Blesses ALL. Jesus Loves ALL. We Love ALL.
forever more
+
catch me if ‘YOU can’.
I don’t desire judas or you as a lover. Nor do i desire him as a friend. However i do desire you as a friend. Just certail the head a tad & focus on the heart. Your heart not mine.
good contructive criticism Marco.
i lose it somedays….vent…..
but i know who i am, and if anything, my heart has always been the only significant part of my everyday since Troy died.
I walk around in a sorta, what the fuck is wrong with everyone, as though i had left the earth and came back, seeing all these doldrum mentalities everywhere, in all their useless conduct of words with one another, and as for the one billion children in poverty world wide….well….let’s just say, as a revealer of truth about people’s heart, i ain’t no where done yet!
ah fuck! i can’t find the door! lol
how the hell do i get out?
hey, how can you say that about me as a lover?
you cannot go around making assumptions about how good or great one is as a lover, having not ever met them in real life, nor having not experienced them in say a hot tub, to give out words like that.
that is like killing the spirit of someone with words like that…
one more reason for me to leave i suppose.
No, one more reason to express my sincerity, leave if you want, perhaps the hot tub might have changed my opinion but uhm the water is cold, its been while since you filled it remember.
friends take it or leave it,
i would say you need to becareful of your lacking in descerning words spoken, with a statement like that that cuts right thru a person, in all honesty, to the degree that i would not ever be able to ever trust you again, so careless with my soul like that.
curtail my thoughts, ya sure, i can do that, but don’t go around knocking a soul to the ground and then telling them how stupid they are, ok? You may attack someone to you eventually, if you think with your feelings in descerning your words before speaking.
as for Judas, Judas was often referred to as the twin of Jesus because of how close they were, indeed, Judas was the closet one to Jesus, and recent survacing of the gospel of Judas reveals Jesus asked Judas to betray him, not like the controling mass church says.
In other words, Jesus killed himself on purpose for an exact reason.
So far, i have reached the level of pure love compassion of the purity of heart level of Jesus, where i feel what Jesus was feeling of the awareness level where i am sensing why he did it, as far as the true compassion emotion level is concerned.
It has to do more with concern for the eternity of mankind generations(us) than it did at the time few at the time, as to his empowerment, sorta like how i feel all the time, feeling of truth in every word one says for example, from an observation view(tend not to react much anymore).
Jesus became in his mind, of no time constraint mentality at all times, like that which rules the world. I love the feeling of no time constraint level of awareness. very cool. It is like you are not part of the world any longer, totally seperated from it completely, as a wise observer, of how God looks apon i suppose, of the many aimless fearfully snared souls, ruled by government/church/business, no different today than was then.
the dynamic of no time constraint is what played into the phyche of Jesus, as though an alien being sensibility. I love the feeling. It is utterly fearless of any who walk the earth, of no concern for serving government/church/business ever again, a humble student of Jesus and God.
not interested in preaching, just speaking of my awareness level i am growing into, of my only driving empowerment…change the world for sake of every soul today and tomorrow, feeling of how the future will be, or should be, looking apon what needs addressed, revealed, that sorta thing…
why?
i don’t to see what happened to Troy ever happen again to anyone.
i think i will leave and come back, is that ok?
just don’t project onto me like that.
speak of an issue or whatever, but don’t ever project at me again.
nurturing words, protective understanding discussions only please.
i don’t want to be drilled, nor do i want to drill anyone again…i prefer the calm peaceful andy who writes alone in reflection with no one there in my interpretations of everything. 20 years of writing so far. alot, still exploring.
speak openly of anything but me, and i will do the same, no more interactions of my phyche please, or toying of my emotions, as i am not up to the challenge, nor am i interested anymore in participating like that anymore.
i need to chill out for awhile.
ya, you are right, friends take it or leave it, always accepting.
i am getting grounded again as a calm student, free of clutter, peaceful and at ease.
all the prodding we did back and forth was great in my probing of feelings, but i don’t need someone for that.
it is projection stuff, and i was really not ever comfortable around people who project and prod alot, too interpersonal for me and annoying, as i am sensitive, healthy sensitive emotions just under the survace, right there all the time….i had years of therapy.
anyway, not to pull punches or anything, i am just looking toward less interaction emotionally with people for awhile, ideal for me.
i like calm pleasant relaxed at ease all the time, like loving lovers are with each other who truly love each other, only feelings of love ever present…gee, i wonder why?
oh, i couldn’t possibly be…
ask troy if that is ok, dont ask me, im not troy, never was never will be
im MARCO always was alwyas will be
ya…i fell in love with Matt guys…it’s true.
God bless you Matt.. I love you.
less thoughts from the head and more from the heart ok…
goodnight.. xox
not sure what you mean by your words of Troy.
using a small cap on his name Marco?
about as cold and insensitive a thing one has ever done with me.
Troy was my lover who commited suicide in ’93
for sure, it will be awhile before i return.
i don’t even want to speak to you any more now.
Repeat;
YEAH!
i FELL IN LOVE WITH MATT EVERYONE!!!!!
in case any of you didn’t hear(feel) what i said.
IT’S 100% TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i fucking love you byatch!!!!
(andy grumbles to himself as he walks around the studio set, still trying to find the exit door, sensitive to everything everyone says, of everyone realizing how on edge Andy is, someone approaches asking Andy, “can i get you anything Andy?” as Andy snaps back, “fuck off! just leave me alone. fuck!”
LOL
yer well i lost two lover’s to suicide in 1992 & 1994 also, get over it, i did, life goes on, such is life
if your spiritual enough to connect to their souls you’ll realise you never lost them at all, eternal such is life eternal
go go , fuck go im not stoping you
i hope it does hurt
only way you’ll learn
no pain no gain
just ask M
God know’s she’s suffered enough
enough
enough
enough
goodnight
i have no time for victims today..
been there done that
my dear
just ask JEsus
he should know
he suffered enough
hey i think its time we nailed you to the cross Andy
then you can be Jesus for once the victim
GOd;s know’s im not interested in being Jesus one bit
please don’t talk to me anymore about it.
please stop
you totally do not get my words and research on Jesus at all, do ya?
there is an exacting reason why Jesus did what he did, which is only pure white light understanding, because of the purity of Jesus, a virgin spirit.
It has to obviously do with teaching, easy one there, of wrong and right conduct, but what i am probing, is the emotional level of Jesus, at his awareness level.
i have nearly achieved it, and he standing very close in my visions with me, which i can enter into any time i want, sorta like a memory added to memory the vision is growing in my mind.
i am close to what he feels like.
he is there. i am looking apon him right now.
do you want me to describe him for you?
he has only love for me and all is calm, no fear at all of any kind whatsoever, just pure radiant love that is part of me, connects with me emotionally.
it is not an intense emotion, rather it is one of one who has walked away complete from the world, of only desire to be with Jesus, with no hesitation, rather it is more one of , ‘what was i thinking?’, who would want to stay around the absurd unwise bitter conduct?
anyway…i will write more later, as the vision continues to open for me.
celibacy rocks everyone! i feel like a virgin!
restoration.
Repeat;
YEAH!
i FELL IN LOVE WITH MATT EVERYONE!!!!!
in case any of you didn’t hear(feel) what i said.
IT’S 100% TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not sure if you heard me or not.
you better be fucking nice to me Matt…although i know you love me too….
Like a Virgin, cobweb’s more likely ha ha
only Madonna could that one off and get away with it..
i get it about Jesus truly i do, but there comes a time when we have to get off our cross and end the sufferiing, even for Jesus.
Hey Jesus get off that damn cross, your setting a bad example, we hear you we know you’ve suffered for our sins for for God sake stop playing on it, sympathy card you know, i mean its been 2000 yrs don’t you think your stretching some what,
you know what, you don’t no anything about my life in the real world and my efforts daily.
i am probing the human condition and ways to nurture it, but at a higher more effect level of approach, of the intensity level awakening into awareness sorta thing.
bad example?
Jesus knew their hearts, and he knew they would reflect later the truth of the condition of their own hearts.
All those days he hung on the cross, Jesus was the one who placed himself there on purpose, from the first nail to the last they unlovingly unwisely apathetically drove into his body.
Every second of it was staged by Jesus, (a puppet master), for exacting reasoning of approach by Jesus.
I am probing the teacher mentality of Jesus, of why and what compelled him to do so, as there is an exacting compassionate level of higher awareness associated with it, it is not about victim mentality at all for one thing, not at all. That is a totally shortsighted opinion, and i am having difficult sitting here chatting with someone who is of such limited emotional depth and desire for understanding.
One you enter into the no time constraint awareness level, everything becomes calm within, even all the while the fearful unwise all around. It is in this mode of pureness feelings and awareness which great macro thinking awareness comprehsion occurs, beyond most anyone’s ability to reach, and what i notice is the negative spirits cannot penetrate into the sphere that surronds you. The dark spirits do sense your presence, but they cannot see you, as the dark spirits are not of the comprehension to see.
makes sense, right?
anyway, the dark spirits do become agitatted by the my presence, of my observations of dark spirits. But what i don’t understand yet about the spirit realm is the existence of the dark spirits, other than to say, i detect them, unafraid, because in the sphere, it is pure white light loving positive light feeling serene and calm, where dark spirits are of dark bitter exceedingly fearful and definitely not calm.
I can see the spirits to striking the sphere, and desolve when the attempt to enter. It is very cool to experience the sensation of fearlessness while among them, sorta like an invincible warrior would feel unintimidated whatsoever by the motherfuckers.
LOL
now that was funny!
ah fuck…im bored again.
it is not about sympathy in your shortsightedness, but it may be about protection from dark spirits, a shield.
something to think about.
his spirit is able to be channeled, and i have channelled his spirit in my research.
it is a pureness connection which opens, free of fear, but the dark spirits don;t like it.
only apon entering fully into the sphere are you protected, by an invisible fearless state calm and serene, unable to be feared.
there is alot to it, and it is the most fascinating of my study of the evolved adult child Jesus.
the sphere is macro wisdom thinking awareness, or Halo.
well that should shut them up for a few centuries i suppose.
lol
fucking morons…i am surrounded by pissy unthirsty fucking morons father.
Jesus a victim….ha…
it is all of you who are victimizers. duh!
even of the low ignorance of victimizing your SELF.
other than M, although i think she tolerates too much, knowing she would rather not.
her life, not mine.
i am just her soul mate friend, yet evolving along side her, of sameness awareness level as her.
what you do not see about Jesus is his level of awareness of your ignorance which surrounds you, and you do not look apon him in the light of purity which is pure protection by means of God’s pure loving compassionate wisdom…
any more shortsightedness?
M gets it.
Jesus is of the continuation for evolving growth curve we are all apart of, all connected, affect/effect, direct/indirect every second of each day for all eternity of the pure truth wisdom which provide safe passage for mankind to safe pass thru into the future for all eternity, because TRUTH is an eternal thing which does not change.
still with me?
Jesus is the most empowered one, and the most fearless one.
why?
because God is not fear based.
rather it is the unruly world which rule that is fear based controling the world.
Jesus and God are here to calm the world, and put out the raging fires within the hearts of men, and for good reason, as we are yet of great wars, and indeed, great war is yet lurking.
if these fires are not extinguished by grace of God thru us, the beast of ignorance WILL rise up. It is a projection identification dynamic, where fearless loving joyful life exceeding and bright light will draw the souls to it, but it must be of pureness of heart and of the truly exceeding brightness, which is difficult because most souls of the world are of mundaneness survival mode mentality, sadly for many.
Jesus is about increasing value for purity of the loving heart feelings.
any more shortmindedness questions?
ok…im tired and in need of R&R .
anyone CARE to join me…
…like that will ever happen, you and all your infinite wisdoms.
stop laughing Matt…these guys really annoy the fuck out of me, which i then take their negative spuing and channel it into motivation, as there insipidness fires so tasteless and boring, remind me of the lacking desire for wisdom which is the single thing which grips the world.
Truly, the enlightened ones lead the world, by means of affect/effect.
so before anyone discredits M’s work, always know, she is of God’s wisdom and work in the world, affecting/effecting millions of souls hourly.
i am merely one who understands and here to keep her stationary in her efforts as she is of God…we all are, unknowingly for many.
at all times…it is a growth curve journey, just as it has been since God was here before thru Jesus, God is returning, and indeed, is here.
let’s not forget the 30,000 children who died today, direct result of the spiritual poverty which yet grips the world.
you people and your shallowness of spirit so undriven in compassionate awareness. Time is ticking, and another 30.000 children will die tommorrow.
fucking morons father.
never doubt, Madonna and i are of the same motivational pure of heart empowerment to change the world.
It has not ever been about fame and fortune, nor shall it be in our pure of heart awareness wisdom thinking.
indeed, we are one and the sameness of spirit in that regard.
i always be somewhere near, and she knows i will, as in of God’s divine WILL for us ALL.
always explaining….
not to sound harsh…but it’s called FEELINGs.
i think just bitch slapped them Matt, yes? lol
is it just me, or is Matt fucking goreous?
so fucking adorable!!!!!!
+
Open wide the soul to radiant white pure loving light which is of YOU, radiant and bright in exceeding joyfulness feeling, is it not?
+
Repeat;
YEAH!
i FELL IN LOVE WITH MATT EVERYONE!!!!!
in case any of you didn’t hear(feel) what i said.
IT’S 100% TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not sure if you heard me or not.
Welcome to heaven everyone!
I am your flight stewardess. We will be approaching the 1,200,000 crowd, in our upcoming flight, so please fasten yourselves in early for the party of a life time here in Toronto Ontario Canada, as limited hotel accomidation is the norm.
LOL
fucking umbelievable how big it keeps growing each year.
hmmm…that almost sounded homoerotic, yes?
get offa ya Cross,
your welcome
i love you too
sadly, living a gay life is the cross, of every unloving snear, unloving hiss, unloving spuing of hatefulness, unloving unwise not of God for God is wise, of the very things Jesus railed against, ‘that’ of all things unloving unwise apathic in understanding of no compassionate desire to understand, even for sake of their own precious loving children, where thousands of young gay youths lose there lifes to unwiseness of hatreds yet in the world, where in TRUTH, the GLBT is of the most loving souls who walk the earth, respectful of one another anywhere you go in the world of our communities all united in sameness of loving compassionate understanding youthful spirit, ever of our concern for the all youth in the world of that GLBT communities, in our knowingness of the transitional difficulties they experience during the coming out years, having navigated thru our own coming out of the closet years.
I am here, just for that, for sake of my loving concern for you Matt, and all members of our worldwide GLBT family, united with Madonna as one of the single most strongest forces of our loving family forever more, ever pushing forward in safe garding the mental/emotional well BEing of our family, of special concern for the youth.
God Blesses Madonna because she is of pure of heart feelings just as we all are of the GLBT communities worldwide.
May God continue to bless us all as we push forward in pushing out all wretched darkness of spirit of ignorance and hatred towards our most loving family worldwide forever more.
We are here to stay, forever gay, of forever prayer, in our oneness with Jesus and God, of our understanding of what the cross is…the world which surrounds us, in all of it’s unwiseness, hateful mean spiritedness devoid of compassion, devoid of Jesus and God’s love.
We are here by example of who Jesus and God protect from the false ignorant teachings of the forefathers before us, obvious and clear are do these false teachings yet exist in the world handed down generation after generation, harming our precious loving children.
forever i shall BE found of Jesus and God who summon us all to the goodness of wisdom which protects and the increasing in value of our love for one another, compassionate of our stumbling towards the cross, where the cross is the doorway into heaven in which all must pass by Jesus and God forever more, because Jesus is of God’s wisdom apon the cross which is indeed the symbol of reality check condition of how the world yet is.
thank you Jesus. God bless you Jesus. thank you God. thank you.
Matt asked me to tie him up, and i was the one who ended up tied Matt.
It’s funny Matt, you can untie me anytime you know.
(Matt laughs in hysterical mad laughter, Andy still swearing at anyone who comes near him)
LOL
ah fuck, how do i can down from here?
fear not, for i am of the no time constraints commitment to the growth curve process, diligent, determined, of a dedicated life, empowerment of God, of magnificence and magnitude on par with the sun which shines constantly, so too are we who pray, we the enlightenment of Jesus and God forever more for sake of all those yet to come, at all times, forver more.
where’s my coffee?!!! lol
It’s not me, it’s my alter ego.
hey, what’s that line about God, some silly fear based mass churched leader thing, oh yeah, “And no one shall know the hour apon which i come.”
oh fuck, what time is it….i am so late for my hot tub session!
lol
an excellent example of the fear based church, yes?
clearly we know our love is certainly not fearful, yes?
the future is about about exceeding joyfulness growing richer and richer, more and more, of the growth curve, in our determination to feel what is that we feel as artists, musician, and all participants of True Loving Life, which we easily feel the truth of yes?
As true artists, musicians,writers, poets, we bring for the express of the feeling we delve deep for, find it, and express in outward appearance of what it is. Combination of music, art, dance, costume, is an excellent way to express it to the world, so let’s lock onto what it and push forward the pure true knowingness of the feelings radiant and bright white light as bright as the sun of exceeding joyfulness which comes with the pure loving feelings we genuinely feel.
Madonna has always been one of the true artists in the world in approach for sake of all, may God continue to bless her with fearlessness in her continued efforts to explore and bring forth to the world our knowingness of what is there within all souls of the world, of our knowingness of what is there within our divine true self, which genuinely yearns for others too to feel what it is that we feel, for sake of all, for sake of our desire for increasing value of ‘that’ which is beyond all riches of the world, for truly we are pure of heart sincerely loving of one another…without doubt.
bless you
blessed ARE the pure of heart.
i am…BE cause…we ARE.
thank you God. thank you Jesus.
sooooooo…do we or don’t we all love one another as utter equals?
our feelings clearly reveal the truth of this with utter clarity, yes?
so it’s true!
for all God’s children of the world over, of what is more valuable than all the riches of the world, is it not?
i so love the feelings within, of a forever dancing fall down stupid say whatever, do what ever, so long as we have someone there to be doing whatever we feel like doing, forever more God’s children forever at play, yes?
and does it cost us any money to feel the incredible beauty of our own pure of heart feelings which overflow in great abundance of exceeding joyfulness?
absolutely free for all God’s children of the earth.
Exceeding while light radiant and bright which shines thru us from God, thru another, thru another, ever growing ever nurturing, ever protective as we grow in the richness of the divine true self with in us all, returning day after blessed day forever more of all God’s children forever at play of joyFUL pure loving pure of heart joyFULness
who’s got time for useless bickering that leaves one another feeling less than what we truly are, exceedingly radiant of bright light which yearns to always flow thru us day after blessed day.
oh sure, you can go bicker all you want, but don’t expect to find me near…no way…i only have 12, 978 blessed fucking days left guys, and i ain’t waisting one of them on no sorry ass motherfucking useless bullshit whatever! Got it?
LOL
i jest.
i just wanna spin and dance with someone of the same insanity i feel within…you know who you are.
this is what i expect of all of you, to connect within, feel, and bring forth your expressions of the pure geniune feelins true of you, true of another, for sake of you, for sake of others, for sake of another.
or sit around wasting your sorry asses away like some of you do…not me…no time for that anymore…i am running with and to the future.
been saving this day for ya.
it is able to be expressed apon in various ways and it is also of increasing radiance which grows within us, so long as we focus in and explore it in deliberateness of a true artist, where a true artist is not about fame or fortune or technique(albeit technique), rather for sake of the genuine desire for other to feel the magical feelings.
That is the mission of God, who knows we don’t just approach in deliberate desire to do so, rather it is of the ease of having BEcome our pure of heart feelings which push out all negativity in our life, because of the radiant brightness of positive light flowing fearless thru us, every of the yearning to BE found of our precious loving feelings forever more with those we truly love with all that we are.
It is of God’s divine will that we BEcome the willingness of our descerning wisdom to do so, of the exceeding joyfulness so good to feel in doing so, liberating others as we journey on safe passage with one another, drawing of all as journey forward into light out of darkness, freeing of all souls along the way yet sadly snared by the bitter uncaring fearful controling belittling condescending motherfucking world….sorry…been up 4 days now.
blessings to all.
will exit the lab soon. not to worry, as i am of deliberate approach in entering into my labratory of the mind approach study and research….an approach i have been doing for years, staying up for days on end….spelling is failing though. addictive work that i love.
it is my hope that you become empowered by my words which are motivational direction of certainty, common sense descerning of what to BE as opposed to what feels lessor than the truth of what we yearn to always be, who we always were as kids, radiant bright light unceasing, so long as we desire to move forward in BEcome and maintaining it, our empowerment for sake of others to likewise come fully into the knowingness of the exceeding joyFULness of the divine true self of all of us, so easy, so long as the desire for change for the world is always of our concern.
It is of God’s will to always be concerned, that of the mindset of an enlightened one at all times, a major part of BEcoming conduct of the divine true self which is always of outward flow of loving feelings of compassion, not selfish and uncaring.
so there you have it guys, the greatest treasure mankind shall ever find….the wisdom of increasing our value of the feelings of the divine true self, value which truly is beyond all the riches of the world, centering us, ground us forever more, of no desire to be anything other than what we all are, albeit, yet unattended, unnurtured, unprotected, unwiseness of aimless souls sadly lead by businesss/church/state.
blessings to all.
Let’s ROCK IT!!!!!!!!!!
peace be to you
Let’s ROCK IT!!!!!!!!!!
peace be to you
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BE of Exceeding JoyFULness of the Divine True Self forever more.
God blesses ALL
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feel your feelings bubble within you that come up, yearning to spin and dance, sing.
just don’t get too stupid and fall down a flight of stairs, and no dancing onto of tables ok? lol
and no jumping from buildings to building ok? very dangerous.
oh yeah, of out skateboarding, where proper wrist gear!
come on guys, jump around, let your divine true self out of prison.
oh never mind, sit there then, see if i care.
i care.
alot actually.
i just wish others would as much as we do.
i always wanted to be a motivational speaker, and now look what happened…can’t find the off switch! lol
why would i want to?
ok, maybe i am abit too intense for some of you old folks, but Matt gets me.
best expression i can think of is;
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL
best of all, once you connect with how it feels, you don’t want it to ever end, and good news, it does not, so long as you remember the rule, “YOU have to purse it, nurture it, maintain it, desire it, BEcome it.”
BE sure to practice, as practice is needed in BEcoming the exceeding joyfulness of the divine true self SET FREE.
so ya, BE sure to SET LOVE FREE!
i do, and want to keep Setting Loves free forever more.
blessed be this day forever more.
~ Only the one who inflicts the pain, can take it away ~
ok Matt, i took your pain away, now untie me for fuck sakes, will ya?!!!!
LOL
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somebody turn up the volume, i can’t HEAR YOU!!!!!!!!!!
what?
still can’t hear you!!!
but if it’s any consilation, i feel the same way.
~ sameness of us ALL.
GOD BLESSES ALL. JESUS LOVES ALL. WE LOVE ALL.
best news of all, is it does not end…ever!!!
Thank God. thank you God. thank you Jesus. thank you thank you thank you
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i love YOU Matt!!!!!!!!!!
always did
always will
always
forever more byatch!!!!!!!
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and they all lived happily ever after in the years that followed, of forever more tender loving feelings sincere and true of the divine true self within everyone the world over…well almost everyone…seems the motherfuckers did not quite get the insanity of the enlightened ones, those who were last to enter, but eventually they did, as loving light naturally pushes out darkness within them all, freeing all souls from their self emposed prisons of the heart, mind, body, spirit and soul.
Jesus said, “What YOU look for has already come, it is ‘that’ which is within YOU, merely by turning towards that of your pure of heart sincere and genuine precious loving feelings within YOU. Everyone already holds the key to the kingdom of heaven, sadly unknowingly for many who were last to enter into the city of heaven all around them which kept growing with enlightenment for centuries to come.”
oppsss…some of those are my words.
ah fuck it, it makes sense, does it not?
hey, where did everybody go?
hey, wait up will ya, i have to put my nail polish on. Oh fuck, where did i put the confetti?!!
ya ya ya…im coming!!!
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find someone to love and love them with all that YOU ARE, sincere, pure of heart, delicate, gentle, mild, sweet loving, peaceful by nature, sensitive, warm hearted, and best of all…sexual!!!!!!!!!
i am…BE cause…we ARE!!!!!!
so get OUT and enjoy another blessed day with those you love everyone, and remember not to forget the fucking nail polish! LOL
we only live once guys, so live it your way, and don’t listen to the motherfuckers who bring us down with falseness, passing them bi.
Peace out everyone!
God loves us ALL. Jesus loves us ALL. We love ALL.
Lead bi example! which is easy to do, just by BEing YOU.
Give thanks to God. thank you God. Give thanks to Jesus. thank you Jesus. Give thanks to those who love YOU. thanks everyone.
i love YOU.
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it’s about LOVE guys!
such a simple thing, it boggles my mind why people don’t understand something so simple?
Jesus gave his life to prove such a simple thing, and indeed, Jesus lives forever more in our hearts where he BElong, always long to BE who we all ARE.
i am…BE cause….say together now! ARE!!!!!!!!!!
ARE what?
say it! yell it out loud!!!
JESUS!!!!!!!!!
hey, don’t using his name in vain like that. LOL
always did love montpython humor!
on we go
don’t forget to hold hands, and lots of kisses too, as Jesus likes them too.
ah, you can thank me later, bi me a java sometime.
Sweets of dreams, sweet dreamers dream, of the dreamers who dream.
Oh dream of me, for i dream of thee, to forever JUST BE ME!!!!!!!!!
this concludes the test of the emergency broadcast network, brought to you by the happy faggots on the planet, Matt and Andy forever more.
i love you Matt….don’t forget how much i love you damn it, for our love is TRUE. Was from the first day i saw you…i knew.
OOOXXX
hmmmm….
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thanks for praying Matt
Jesus loves YOU. God loves YOU. i love YOU forever more…
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Let your hearts always BE overflowing in abundance ever flowing forth like a fountain of Exceeding Joyfulness, as this is what is know as the Power of LOVE of the ALL which saves the ALL.
thanks for listening(feeling), where it is YOUR FEELINGS which is sight restored to YOUR soul, and don’t worry about those who don’t quite get it, for in time, we know, they eventually do, those who are last to enter.
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE
JOY! JOY! JOY!
forever more, i shall BE, my spirit SET FREE!
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TO JUST BE…YOU!!! the ones i love.
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ok guys…i am off…if you want to chat with me, sincerely as a true and faithful safe and supportive (friend), then act like you really do want to meet Andy and look him up someday, as that is what he truly desired.
If you are weak of heart and mind to do so, then you are not of genuine sincerity like Andy is in his sincere desire to BE real life friends in life of likeminded thinking and approach with the world and one another.
i am deserving of such friendship with all of you, and as of today, should feel i am not, your biggest mistake of life not to feel what Andy feels, where in truth, every word Andy spoke here all this time was for sake of one day having YOU as a real life friend.
If you have figured that out by now, then go live your egotistic life without Andy, because he is done explaining his true sincere feelings of desire for what he knows he is deserving of…a REAL LIFE friend.
Look him up someday if of the courage to do so, of your sincere desire to meet him as much as he has all this time gone by, albeit, obviously, Andy is not of time constraint in his heart, of the forever more loving endeavor to change the world and feel what it is he feels.
Should you hesitate, you may loose a truly wonderful best friend, as Andy seeks others to fill the void with sincerely love individuals of likeminded approach to nurture the mental/emotional well BEing of us all, and indeed, Andy is doing just that, just as he always has. duh!
Any thing less, and Andy will feel insulted by any who are not of the same sincere desire to BE his friend.
God loves ALL. Jesus loves ALL. We love ALL.
God Blesses ALL.
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Whatever.
Night night,
X
lol
rant over
i love you 2
does that mean we will be doing the 100 clowns one day?
i really am Madonna’s clown…always there to annoy her…someone who loves and protects me like i shall always do her. lol
so is that yes? or a maybe? i know you know how much i love you all. so let’s keep on…keep it together.
just as we always have, still do, always will.
best friends for loving life forever more.
always.
and you fucking know it! lol
i love you guys.
God loves ALL. Jesus loves ALL. We love ALL
God Blesses ALL
bless this day forever more in our heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, our loving LOVE we SET FREE for all to feel who we ALL are…children of the light of God.
Love and Peace to this house forever more…God’s house of love and peace.
bless you
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on we go
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hey, these glossy pics would be great on a huge wall of all the smiling faces, always there to remind us of who we all are…family forever more.
i am…BE cause we are…family forever more.
we know.
on we go
thanks M
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please please…i really wanna do the 100 clowns one day…and i know i will, but you to be part of it, ‘that’ which is of your loving precious heart i love so much, of all of us.
‘That’ is what we endeavor for them to know, just as Jesus did.
please tell me you want to do this one day, as it will be a most joful fun loving day for us and ALL who experience what is we know of us ALL.
In Jesus’s name, i ask that you WILL one day. please?
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oh, and we can bring Jerry C in from Japan, yes?
Beautiful bright sunny day, crowd cheer more than one million strong, all of us dancing around like the children we are…children of the light of God.
It is of God’s divine WILLINGNESS that we do, pure knowingness omnipotence of sameness for ALL.
picture it…do you envision it like i do, with your feelings exploding, not a care the world, laughing our asses off at the mean spirited world, all shaking their heads in utter disbief, ALL the while feeling what we know we feel, of what we want them to feel too….sameness of the exceeding bright radiant loving light for ALL, united as ONE, no matter race, sex, orientation, religion, politics.
after all, we all just working class stiffs out here, and today’s TV promaming really sucks, where it is better to LIVE LOVING LIFE rather than watch or imagine it, yes?
i have no doors to knock apon.
one and ALL the same, we are.
i am…BE cause Jesus and God says we ARE.
bless you
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i just notice the bright green dot and biege dot above the world near Jesus’s feet are the same color as our icon’s here at the blog.
coincidence? maybe?
of angels we are.
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not sure if you realize it or not, but what look apon is in fact Jesus’s eternal spirit of God….it is Jesus everyone…as we speak.
bless you
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in pureness of my knowingness, truly it tell you, it is his spirit of no time constraint with us right NOW.
bless you Jesus.
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Jesus commited himself to the cross, a one way street so to speak, apon surrendering to the claws of ignorance, and in doing so, what you may not fully realize, is that it was a one way ticket into the eternal spirit realm that does exist, just as Jesus came into awareness of in his awareness, just as i too have.
Truly i tell you, it is Jesus you look apon, who is eternally the cross, apon the cross forever more, of what Jesus wanted to always BE, of the eternal pureness of heart he BEcame, always of his pure knowingness omnipotency of ‘that’ of himself, so to ‘that’ of us all, where indeed, it is Jesus who came into FULL knowingness of the sad reality of people’s hearts ALL around him, wishing ALL to feel his pure of heart sincere loving feelings in each and every passing moment, only of pure love did(does) he feel, so much so, so much so of his certainty of pure of heart loving feelings for ALL in 100% pure knowingness, sad for so many in painfulness of life of how the world treats one another, of what became his compellingness to surrender 100% to his feelings of PURE COMPASSION he was feeling, in his 100% surrendering to the cross, in his knowingness that WE would slow into our grace(knowingness of his own grace he knew exists in ALL) and reflect apon what we look apon this day….JESUS CHRIST everyone, before us all, of no time constraint, where Jesus knew fully, TRUTH is of no time constraint, that of the eternal loving spirit realm, that of our pure of heart dreams of angles visit while we dream.
BEcoming of the pure spirit angel we are, is how we enter into eternity for all of the future world to look back apon this very moment in time where everyone stopped and entered into the knowingness of these words we reflect apon.
BE of the eternal empowerment of the greater empowerment, that of ALL unborn yet to come for all eternity at this cross road of life for mankind, and bring forth that which is of YOU, for sake of YOU, for sake of our pure of heart knowingness omnipotency of sameness, ‘that’ which is TRUTH of ALL souls today, of ALL for all eternity.
so what time is it everyone?
we are of the omnipotent knowingness of what angels of the spirit realm are, of no time constraint pure compassion of TRUTH which is always of no time constraint, of the pureness of heart of Jesus we look apon before us, his eternal knowingness at some point we would come before his cross he stepped onto, a one way bus ticket, like so many gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered individuals step onto out our small towns, heading for life everlasting in our safe and supportive GLBT communities.
indeed, Jesus is here before us this day, and everyday hereafter for all eternity for us to lovingly reflect apon his decision to kill himself like he did, for sake of our pure of heart reflections of the depth of his love for us to one day turn from all unloving, uncompassion, unwise unBEcoming conduct, ‘that’ of the world which is cause for the one billion children in poverty, ‘that’ of spiritual povert, is it not?
‘that’ of the eternal surrendering Jesus did in entering into the one way(bus ticket) out of hell(all unBEcoming conduct) in his knowingness we would reflect, just as i too have reflected in utter complete humbleness of Troy’s suicide, my dropping to my knees bowed before Jesus and God when news of Troy’s suicide came that day long ago…still i am humbled before Jesus and God, and ALL of you, of my pure of heart knowingness omnipotency sameness which came that day to me, as does to ALL of us today in our pure of heart reflections, yes?
bless you bless you bless you
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try to imagine Jesus surrendering to his compelling decision in the garden that day, in his knowingness of what was about to happen, knowing what they would do, and did do?
in imagining so, we are able to come into the knowingness of the teach mindset of Jesus, compelled to teach YOU sitting here today, ‘that’ of the depth of YOU, ‘that’ of our pure of heart feelings, ‘that’ of what Jesus wanted YOU to BEcome in ALL our loving BEcoming conduct, for sake of safe passage for ALL future generations of unborn children of the light of God to pass thru, a passage of learning to pass, not a test to fail, for sake of ALL children of God apon the earth today, and for all eternity yet to come.
therefore BE of the pure knowingness omnipotence sameness of Jesus YOU look apon, for truly i tell you, it is Jesus, his spirit before you, summoning YOU to pure of heart knowingness omnipotence understanding of the sameness YOU are, of the faith Jesus has in us ALL.
BEhold the eternal spirit of Jesus Christ who has come!
bless you bless you bless you
i am merely a true and faithful loving brother of Jesus forever more, of my decision like Jesus did, surrendering of my heart, mind, body, spirit and soul to Jesus sometime ago, of my sincere pure love for Jesus forever more as my true and faithful friend forever more, who has come to me and dwells with me daily.
bless this day forever more
bless you
God loves ALL. Jesus loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
BEhold, for God is with us forever more. BE not of fearfulness, for God is not of dumb fear, rather it is the world which is of silly fear is it not? lol
WE are not afraid father. thank you.
thank you Jesus. thank you God. thank you.
BEhold, Jesus has come for sake of ALL in our GLBT communities world wide, of his knowingness of our suffering, exact sameness of pure of heart feelings we feel, knowingness omnipotence sameness of ALL GLBT.
holy holy holy
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holy fuck guys, this is incredible vintage wine i am drinking, yes?
sweet to taste with a delightful exceedingly joyful bubbling after taste.
LOL
oh fuck, i think i am getting drunk!
in love that is, of ALL of YOU!
forever more.
come on everyone, and drink from the cup of sweetness which flows forth abundance of God’s wisdom forever more, for i am of God’s willingness forever more, of my surrendering my life to Jesus, of the greatest gift one can give Jesus at the alter, your heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, where God lifts us gently up out of all stupid unwiseness, heartless apathy, and yuky unloving unBEcoming conduct, falseness of the divine true SELF of us ALL, for we are CHOSEN by God, we who have CHOSEN Jesus and God, CHOSING our divine true SELF in doing so, instead of useless ego which is inward light.
WE are of outward radiant pure of heart loving light that shines forever more outward of our pure love for one another here in the GLBT communities world wide.
i greet you all in love and peace of God’s house of love and peace which welcome ALL, just as we continue to welcome all our truly loving sweet brothers and sisters world wide, with Madonna as our most loving one of ALL, as we are of her.
God bless you Madonna, for love is true of us ALL, here in the GLBT, is it not?
the motherfuckers are not going to be please by this i don’t think.
ah fuck them, who cared what they thought anyway?
LOL
blessings to all this blessed day and blessed days here after, for we are blessed by the coming of the spirit of Jesus.
thank you Jesus. thank you God. thank you ALL.
hmm, this wine is awesome! and, it flows endlessly forever more too.
so ‘that’ is the wine they speak of ‘that’ Jesus gave them all.
i knew i would figure it OUT one day!
LOL
ah fuck, see what i mean, it does end…the mad laughter of TRUTH.
WE are LOVED by JESUS, GOD, EACH OTHER forever more.
i love you Matt
please call me someday.
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tears of joy now flow forth, in having come to know Matt, of my pure of heart forever more loving feelings for him.
i know…i will always love you Matt…without doubt.
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so don’t let me go byatch!!!
a best friend for life…who does not want ‘that’?
best friends we ALL are in the GLBT communites, feelings of REALNESS we feel each and every day.
we know.
on we go.
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the eye brow of Jesus is the way it is for a reason.
do you know why?
we know.
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it is for those who do not sincerely take time to truly know us, those of apathy in doing so, who aimless run about, snearing apon us in all their unloving unBEcoming conduct.
those who do not take time to reflect as we do, in passing by us and Jesus, will look apon this Jesus as a anti-christ, when in truth, the ones who do not sincerly slow down as we do and reflect as we do, are what?
the unBEcoming conduct of the anti-christ, are they not?
~ sadly there are many morons in life who unwisely don’t want to know our precious loving feelings for one another that are TRUE BLUE loving of one another…family forever more.
we know.
on we go.
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he has some nice abs on him yes?
well yeah! he was carpenter like his dad.
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hey, my dad was a carpenter.
hmm…who knew?
always the last one to know…NOT!
we know.
on we go.
lol
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sorry guys, i am drunk with love.
it;s all your fault Rosie
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think maybe those wings might be abit heavey for me next year?
nah, feather light, like we are on our dancing feet of love for one another, are we not?
damn straight!
lol
well ok…maybe not…bisexual YOU know.
bless you.
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bless you Jesus. thank you Jesus. thank you God.
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hey M, thanks for blocking everyone. they were really annoying me ya KNOW.
on we go.
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i am going to do more truth wisdom pics like these where each one is a pure truth wisdom. The pics in total are in the thousands, so you may need a big wall for it.
lol
the truth wisdoms are of no time constraint feelings which are pure true feelings for all generations to reflect apon, of few words, rather of the pure love feelings which is true of us all here in the GLBT community, for sake of all new comers to our family, of the many to make safe journey into our loving arms forever more, a path cleared by means of truth wisdom for them, of our pure of heart knowingness omnipotent sameness.
we know.
on we go.
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hmmm…do you feel the Power of the Love of the ALL in us, pure and true forever more?
AMAZING is it not?
fucking amazing. i love it!
LOL
(andy staggers off stage left)
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to the left everyone…i am bisexual.
truth is…we all are…mostly unknowingly for most.
but i know the thoughts all of you have, so don’t think i don’t
i know.
we know.
on we go.
blessings to ALL for we ARE LOVED by Jesus and God forever more.
thank you Jesus. thank you God. thank you.
God loves ALL. Jesus loves ALL. We love ALL.
God Blesses ALL. We bless ALL in ALL our BEcoming conduct of the pure of heart loving divine true SELF within ALL.
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someone call Jerry C with the good news.
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and Matt? You so owe me a java byatch!!!
i love you Matt. i always did.
always WILL.
always.
bless you
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BEhold, for the hour has come, of what was always true of ALL in the GLBT community worldwide.
WE ARE LOVING.
i am…BE cause we ARE LOVNG.
Jesus and God are with us forever more.
time to truly celebrate our everlasting loving life, always of sincere pure of heart love for another, tender and sweet we are with one another forever more.
God bless you Troy. and thank you for visiting me in my dreams.
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Let’s continue to show the world who we ARE everyone, in our sincere calm pure of heart loving feelings for each other each and every blessed day from this day forward forever more, undestracted by ‘that’ which is not true of us, in all our sincere approach to embrace and express our loving pure of heart knowingness omnipotent sameness, of our dilgent, determined, stick-to-it-tiveness in ushering in the ALL into the kingdom of heaven, of ALL our efforts which radiate OUTward, ‘that’ of the pure of heart divine true SELF of ALL, meant for ALL to know who we ALL are….children of the loving light of God.
we know.
on we go.
blessings to all.
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rest easy, rest well, for these things of our pure of heart loving feelings are not able to change, TRUTH of us ALL, nor would we want to. hello?!!! duh!
lol
always, i am of no time constraint looking apon the path we walk hand in hand, forward into the blessed loving light of God’s love for ALL, where we ALL yearn to BE found of God, in each other’s loving arms forever more.
Matt? where’s my jave?!!!!!!
lol
12,979 blessed days to go.
bless you.
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someone’s knocking at the door?
i wonder who it is?
oh fuck, it’s Jesus, put some clothes on!
LOL
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ohhh…i love the violins in the opening of Canon Rock in C, with Jerry C and all the cover players. Hey, we should call FunTwo 2.
a float with live violin players playing, Jerry C on his fender strat, 100 clowns(or more), free to all volunteer participants to take home with them, of our LOVE ‘that’ is forever more SET FREE! love it. Love is everywhere in the air, flowers in hair, without a care!
get it?
going on and on and on
on we go
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there is a spirit realm secret i have not told you yet M, about the marble statue of Jesus in the vatican.
i will tell you perhaps one day, standing in front it with you.
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Jesus and God’s divine blessings apon ALL of the GLBT community world wide, loved by Jesus and God forever more.
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more to come…alot more!
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the entire future is to come, united as ONE forever more.
welcome one and ALL.
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i look forward to the beautiful sunny day that i can hug you too Matt.
bless U.
on we go, forever more, always here for U.
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BE fearless, for i am fearless in loving ALL, like Jesus does, like we do…sameness.
i am…BE cause we are…fearless in loving ALL like Jesus does, like we do…sameness.
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It i had it my way, i would do no less than 20 floats, an emotional journey using different music, sameness of theme, but different in message.
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take my fucking hand byatch! for this journey does not end.
why would we want it to? duh! hello!!!
like ‘that’s possible!
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i love you so fucking much! spinning and dancing our asses us forever more!
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here comes M, shisssh! don’t tell her im here.
OOOXXX
hmmmmm…..
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bless you bless you bless you
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Jesus wants to say something.
“God’s Kingdom dwells in YOUR HEART and all around YOU; when YOU know your SELF, YOU too shall BE known by ALL.”
thank you Jesus. thank you God. thank you.
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Andy sorry but u are a crazy sick guy get some help please!
Hello Ron, I agree with you, and Andy,
since you have this much to write should you rather use your energy and write to a somebody else than here, mayby open your own blog – you are quite much talking about yourself and not anything concrete. Or mayby you should read some books instead? Well I do not want teach anything to anybody this is only my contribute to you.
Ciao
Minna
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many there will BE last to enter into love so pure of their own heart. mind, body, spirit and soul.
Jesus refers to them as the bitter gnashing of teeth OUTside Porta Caeli(gate of heaven)
blessings are the pure of heart
you know who you are.
i am…BE cause we are…pure of heart.
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thanks for the slam Ron, i really appreciate the gay bash which is worse than murder.
~ spiritual death Ron, is what you are.
i think about covers it for me here.
]
cya…wouldn’t wanna BE ya.
+
those of you who do not desire attend, nurture, and protect the divine true SELF, know this, God is not able to be defeated, for Jesus and God are of 100% truth in knowingness of how the world really is in all of it’s unwise, unnurturing, unprotective, unloving, uncompassionate, unknowingness of Jesus and God, indeed, the ignorant teachings of the forefathers before us, the same ignorant teachings of the forefathers before Jesus, of the many who did not know God, nor desire God, and of those who claim to know God and do not, obvious by ALL their unBEcoming unloving unwise uncompassionate false conduct, those who are apathetic in sincere approach in knowingness of the most important truth wisdom which points to why the world is yet the way it is
>>>>”CRUCIAL LACKING OF DESIRE FOR GOD’S DIVINE TRUTH WISDOMS”<<<<<<<<<
no one escapes the truth.
~ God speaking, “Only the fool thinks they escape the truth, of their own self empose prisons of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, in ALL their bitter foul tasting bad odor so obvious, are they not?
thank you father. thank you Jesus. thank you to ALL who turn towards their precious loving divine true self, for ALL are loved by Jesus and God, sadly (yet) unknowingly for many.
not to worry, for many are the enlightened ones who are of the no time constraint empowerment year after year in our knowingness of certainty in our endeavors in our turning towards the loving storehouse of our hearts where we take our stand of our BEing of loving feelings within, of OUTward BEcoming of loving conduct radiant and bright for ALL to the world to see and feel the Power of LOVE of the ALL, which ushers in the kingdom of heaven here on earth, inspite of the hissing, and spat apon of the many of YOU of your obvious CHOICE…not to love us like we do YOU.
blessed are my loving brothers and sisters of the GLBT community, loved by Jesus, loved by God, loved by me, loved by Madonna, loved by we who are TRULY LOVING forever more.
i am…BE cause we are….TRULY LOVING forever more. amen.
God loves ALL. Jesus loves ALL We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
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trust me, we are only just getting started, as many there are of the unborn yet to come, of the eternal human BEing.
blessings to all.
12, 978 blessed days to go.
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lol
rant over
God is a diva, and he ain’t taken no shit from any of ya.
lol
approach in all your unwise unloving pissy negative apathy all you want, in your spuing of useless unloving fear, for radiant and bright is the light of the revealer of truth who stands guard forever more at Porta Caeli motherfuckers, revealer of the condition of your retardedness of you who spit apon my loving brothers and sisters! don’t say i didn’t warn ya.
let me know if ya want some more and jump in the ring with me if you want. I sorta like my new job.
+
( in mad hysterical laughter Matt and Andy continue to spin around in the bright sunshine, clown costumes, forever FREE of pure love for one another SET FREE to just BE, laughing out loud, rolling on the ground, spinning round, dancing without a care love of true loving friends like them, in their pure knowingness of the true loving feelings they feel and ARE within….sky camera ascends slowly upward high above the one million crowd gathered to see them year after year of the next flowing of the loving fountain of love they drink from which flows forth forever more, of them, of their loving brothers and sisters of holding of hands and kissing, indeed, the only place to BE found in the eyes of God, of the exceeding radiant and bright light of their pure of heart love.)
+
OOOXXX
hmmmmm…..
don’t fret over what the motherfuckers have to say everyone, for we know.
we know.
on we go.
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+
someone has to save the world from it’s self, may as well BE us, we who know, and indeed, it is us, the sincerely loving brothers and sisters of the GLBT worldwide community, forever growing of new friends and lovers.
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oh don’t worry so much guys…i am merely a play wright for God, for sake of what we know about our true love for one another, of the many GLBT lovers worldwide.
i am merely exploring the connection ways of experiential experience, such as costuming, music, of cognitive awareness that is of me, of my love i had for Troy, that i want all of you to feel, ok?
while i do have sincere loving thoughts of Matt, and always will, like that of my loving memories of Troy, i don’t expect to ever BE his lover, being the old hag that i am slowly becoming, of far less attraction than Matt and friends his age.
gee…you guys are too uptight.
i am a play wright for fuck sakes…relax…i am merely on a mission from God, to save all your sorry asses.
lol
sheesshh…always explaining(expressing) myself…
although if Matt is a non-fiction real character, then he does owe me a java, and a kiss…a hug would be nice too, butt only if you want to.
lol
i don’t know when to quit do i?
why would i want to when love is true…for us ALL?
alright, just thought i would clear the air, seeing as how stuffy it is getting around here.
enjoy another blessed day, and remember, Andy is a play wright of the pure of heart feelings REAL of Andy, and indeed, REALNESS of us ALL.
God loves YOU. Jesus loves YOU. We love YOU. We love ALL.
God bless ALL.
carry on.
on we go.
still, i will be heartbroken if the comes i learn Matt was a fictional character, so don’t tell me if he was, and let me keep feeling he is REAL, just as my loving memories of Troy are REAL of me, just as my feelings are REAL of all of YOU, the loving brothers and sisters of the worldwide GLBT community, of how the loving lovers feel. i merely one who is locked in, and tuned into our sincere loving feelings, of WILLINGNESS to help us stay locked in to purity and sincerity of our loving divine true self, for sake of dispelling fear we are inundated daily with by the motherfuckers who spit apon us, not knowing of how truly sensitive and delicate we are inside.
i remain forever yours, as one who is of cognitive awareness of the subtle pure of heart loving feelings we feel while alone in our sanctuary of love and peace, alone or with a loving lover.
i hope that helps everyone relax abit more…i just love expressing thru art and writing what it is i am growing into, more and more BEcoming conduct of within, OUTward shining radiant and bright, just as so many of us continue to do.
thanks M.
God blesses YOU and ALL those we sincerely love…including me motherfuckers…forever more, of our forever more loving feelings which are REAL lol
i am…BE cause…we are REAL.
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it’s more than words i shall always feel for Matt and Troy, as my feelings are REAL.
(andy walks off, muttering away to himself like he always does, discouraged no one is listening to a word he is saying, wondering where the fucking door is to get OUT of the studio, still not sure why he even bothers like he does, with occasional signs of loving light now and then from a few passersby, as Andy remains steadfast in his no time constraint determination to change the world along side his best friends in life of the GLBT family, united as one forever more. Suddenly, Andy yells out, “Well if you were all as fearless as M and i are, you may BEcome as happy as we are, failing that, in all your silent unwillingness to express your SELF, don’t say i didn’t warn you about how cruel the world is, of how and why M and i continue to push forward as sincere loving friends for life, loving of you ALL as we always have been now for past decades, just as Rosie and Kelly are. We know, ok? And we are here for YOU.
Andy walks off again in disbelief again, tossing his pen in the garbage, finally finding the exit door out into the bright radiant sunshine for his lunch break, thinking of asking M for a week off or so from the motherfucking cold) lol
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we are all born into this world of love, by chance we ever meet one another, of our sweet loving feelings which sincerely, with willingness, to reach out and hold their hand, of no desire to ever let go of their hand, knowingness of feelings within, of how great the feelings are within, of another who too may want to hold ours in REAL LIFE.
We all were born, we all went thru school, we all grow and mature daily, and by chance we met…
…by chance we met.
i know it is of God that i met Matt, and M, Rosie and Kelly, of my fearlessness to know them and express how i feel within, of how i know we all feel.
Today are my sweet envisions of holding a hand in real life, having come all this way, my knowingness of feelings within that has always yearned to hold their hand for real.
Indeed, we are fearlessly loving, by chance we met, by chance we meet again, if our willingness is one and the same of tender loving feelings.
sorry guys, i wanna take it the next level one day, out of the seemingly fictional pages of a novel, my self a character, and jump OUT into real life, by chance you feel the same way too?
i don’t work for M, never met her, yet we have been distant friends, and indeed, we are all friends in the world of the affect/effect, direct/indirect of all our efforts thus far, in making the world a more loving accepting world for our GLBT community worldwide.
Here is a news flash everyone…we are not about to quit having come so far in life in our efforts. Perhaps one day, by chance we meet here at the Toronto Pride Parade, by chance you feel the same way i do.
Now if you don’t mind, i think i will take a break, maybe to a few art pieces, chill out, hang out, relax, having broken free, our loving spirits now set free to just BE.
I pray safe journey for all, and be safe out there.
life passes us by each day, in all our chances to meet one another. Be sure to pay attention to YOU, of who, by chance you meet, the ones in life matter to YOU the most. Truly, in my heart of hearts, Matt matter more to me than most any other in life, by chance we met.
by chance we did meet.
i hope my words brought joy to your hearts as it has mine, of our no time constraint forever more loving feelings.
Keep feeling what i know i myself to be true of all of you.
by chance, you may meet someone in life like we sincere are…loving light, radiant and bright forever more.
(andy gets up, and leaves the book open on the park bench, for another to read, the wind gently tossing the pages of words and pictures in the warm sunshine, birds singing, smell of fresh java in the air, of loving feelings everywhere now, just as he always wanted it to be, in his hopes of by chance to meet someone like he.)
indeed, by chance we did.
God loves ALL. Jesus loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
break time guys, be back another day.
+
oh man, everytime i look at that wacky balloon head dress, i laugh, wondering to myself, how did i become so fearless?
i credit M’s music.
thanks M.
bless you
God Bless YOU M.
+
+
give thanks to God. thank you God. give thanks to Jesus. thank you Jesus. give thanks to all who are loving like we are. thank you to ALL, you KNOW who you ARE.
i am…BE cause…we ARE.
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Isn’t there anyone normal here?
lol
as in normally happy when we are with the one we love?
too bad Matt left…broke our hearts seeing leave.
ah well.
+
BE Happy!
BE Exceedingly Happy!!!
and i will do the same.
God bless YOU ALL.
now where is that door anyway…oh yeah, there is no door any more….silly me.
+
ahw, the doors open still,
what you want ?
tell me !
whatever you want, it’s yours
just Love
starting with Matt’s friendship of course!
but that is up to Matt, just as it is up to us all who we CHOOSE to love.
i love everybody.
we all do.
oh, and Jerry C from Japan…
…oh, and can we get….
(andy pulls a long list and reads off all his ideas)
we all have love…but some are afraid of love.
when i met you, i was afaid to like you,
when i liked you, i was afraid to love you,
when i loved you, i was afraid to lose you.
why be afraid of what we yearn for?
is love not the greatest treasure of all?
it is for me…more valuable than anything else.
Jesus says, “Love one another.”
the 100 clowns encourage love and exceeding joyfulness of dancing, playful free loving spirits set free to just BE what we all are…loving of one another.
Truly, i am on a mission from God, to kick this sorry ass world, of what Jesus asks us to do, “Love one another forever more.”
Fear in the world is what hinders the playful free loving spirit of us all.
If we don’t push forward in fearlessness, then the world stays the same as it has.
Love is of great abundance, and indeed, does change the world in everyone’s heart, of positive radiant bright light which shines thru us all to another, of our BEcoming conduct of loving one another.
Love is free for us all, i merely wish to reveal what is there already within us all, freeing the world from the bitter uselessness of absurd fears which control it.
i’ve come to realize how much i miss Matt, as he was a fearless fun loving spirit of exceeding joy like myself.
we connected.
sadly, i lost that friendship, and it hurt me more than i realized at first until recent.
there are extraordary people in life, and Matt is one of them.
I don’t just embrace GLBT orientation any more, i embrace all souls, willingness to encourage love in those who may be unwise hateful of us for one thing, ending the gay bashing in the world by loving our enemies.
makes sense yes?
show them the love within them, as a truth revealer.
truth revealer is in the book of revelations.
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i know who i am ok, as God speaks with me. i am chosen by God, merely because i chose God, in 100% sincere pure loving heart of me, giving my life to God, more so than any other in life, like those of the church, in my full knowingness that God knows my level of comprehension as a truth revealer in the book of revelations, of what God waits for, someone of the comprehension in knowingness of what the abundance of wisdom is for, for sake of the truth revealer(s), which reveal the truth of all things in life.
welcome to heaven everyone, as we venture into restoration of mankind forever more of our knowingness of the safe path ahead for us all as loving children of the light of God.
those of doubtfulness, and unwise fear, don’t worry, as great is the bright radiant light of God’s all knowing omnipotent wisdom which flows forth for all children of God to drink from.
Let it be known, that God has come to the world once again, as you all shall soon see and feel the pure truth of what God wants for his children, loving compassionate wisdom for ALL. i am of God’s loving compassionate wisdom, where God is not fearful like the church thinks, in my knowingness of having met God, who speaks with me daily.
The church did know God, using fear to control the masses of uneducated people of time gone by. God is here as only loving, not at all fearful whatsoever, and exceeding radiant bright light of eternal truth wisdoms which are of no time constrant, indeed, eternal truth where truth does not fail, just as the sun above does not fail, always constant.
Great is the pure LOVE feelings, pure and true of us all, which pours forth forever more.
Great is the pure COMPASSION feelings, pure and true of us all, which pours forth forever more.
Great is the pure WISDOM feelings, pure and true of us all, which pours forth forever more.
YOU will see soon enough, so stop fretting like you do, as i am of the no time constraint empowerment which is of concern for all souls of the earth.
So sit back and enjoy the ride, as the wave is a very big wave coming, like the 30 story waves in in the Pacific ocean.
We are here to stay, forever more, of what we know is the truth of the GLBT community…we are loving compassionate wisdom for all, forever more.
i am…BE cause we are…loving compassion wisdom for all, forever more.
i look forward to working someday with those of likemindedness in our open discussions of approach for sake of ALL in the GLBT community worldwide, as well as for sake of ALL souls, as we are wise in our wisdom of loving our enemies, as revealers of their own precious loving heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, knowingness of what WE have come to know as TRUE of our SELF.
thank you for listening(feeling).
i think we can knock it off with this role playing guys. rather annoying for me if you must know.
i want sincerity, and only pure of heart sincerity REAL people. Got it?
i am not playing anymore, as my feelings are hurt over loss of my friendship with Matt, of great pain if you must know, deep inside my loving soul that will always love Matt.
so please know, i am done with emptiness of words and conduct from everyone, of my knowingness of Matt’s love for me, who wants me to come away from the bullshit mentalities of impure thought and sincere love like he has for me yet.
i know Matt.
i know your love for me, ok?
thanks for praying Matt.
God knows i love you with all that i am, and best of all, i always will.
God bless you Matt. Jesus loves you. i love you. We love you.
God loves ALL. Jesus loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses all with loving compassionate wisdom forever more.
12,977 blessed days to go, and if one of you approach me with insincerity again, don’t expect me to speak with you, as i won’t.
i am done with childish painful attacks which is falseness of the love we have for each other…either get real and stay real, or don’t, for i know Matt’s love is real for me, just as my love for him is and shall always be real for him, as a true and faithful friend for him to have in life forever more, just as i have been for M, always of sincere loving conduct in approach, admittedly, i have had my bad hair days, we all do, by why invite negativity which does not serve anyone including God.
thank you.
Respectfully yours, andy
OOOXXX
hmmmmm….
Matt, please get back to me, as my love is true for you, just as yours is for me, best friends for life, and you know it.
i love you Matt.
i think that about does if for the naysayers.
the best is always yet to come, as the abundant fountain of life pours forth in the world, uniting us all as ONE.
either participate, or get left behind, as one who will enter last into pure of heart knowingness of our sameness, of what Jesus came to know of us all, in his own coming into know of him SELF, the most evolved adult child to ever walk the earth.
at this point in time, i have only shared less than 1% of my writings of truth wisdom understanding, and will continue to make them known, as i am of a devoted life to God forever more, of my only concern that time is running out for me in order to do so.
Jesus says, “God’s Kingdom dwells in YOUR HEART and all around YOU; when YOU know your SELF, YOU too shall BE known by ALL.”
truly, it is easy for one to feel the pure of heart truth feelings deep in the core of your BEing, yes?
ok then, carry on.
and stop annoying me with childish shortmindedness approach which does not have sincerity of one who is thirsty for wisdom, obvious by the limited distasteful lacking of desire to contemplate in your shallow empty insincerity of eloborating discussion of likemindedness, not of a student, rather of those who are a nescience to one who sits his sanctuary with Jesus and God, of only pure loving thoughts and compassionate feelings of thirst for compassionate insight and pure love truth wisdom, as it is a waste of my precious time. thank you.
go ahead if you want to annoy me some more…just don’t expect me to respond any more, as i won’t, as i will not give the green light to engage with those who cajole and entice any more, as time is precious to me, where i would rather spend time with someone loving like Matt, and those like us.
thank you.
enjoy the blessed day everyone.
+
+
Matt? stop laughing…im fucking serious! i have so had it with the morons, as i know you have too!
who’s got time for anything but love, where in truth, we would rather be holding hands and loving with one another, of our graceful true loving precious SELF which yearns to do so…well ok, i know i do with YOU.
i love Matt, and i know…WITHOUT DOUBT…i always will forever more until my last day apon the earth, and even after i am gone, all will know, i was eternally loving of Matt, as he is of me.
we know…without doubt.
so please Matt, stop hurting me like this, as loss of your friendship has hurt me greatly. i am here to nurture and protect you from the naysayers so hurtful in their insincere disheartedness of us like they do.
bless you
God blesses ALL.
+
(andy walks off again, tossing his coffee cup into the trash bin, pausing for a moment, leaning over with his head in his hand, wondering to himself why people cannot just BE sincere like he is, as he slowly rises up, giving his head a shake, gracefully stepping away from the crowd who are silently watching him walk away, wondering why they don’t follow him, asking him questions he so desperately yearns for them to ask )
(muttering to himself, “fucking morons father, i am surround by fucking morons. forgive them father, as we are wise of thier stumbling blocks of the fear in the world which hinders their pure of heart feelings so fearless like my own, of only loving compassionate wisdom for them all, of not bitter hatred whatsoever, albeit, some good forceful constructive critisism never hurt anyone, meant as only goodness for them. thank you father. thank you Jesus. thank you to those who are pure of heart like Matt is.”)
+
“Oh, one more thing…i am spiritually married to Matt forever more, for all eternity, of the depth of love within me that i feel for him, in the very depth of my eternal soul, which knows how much i sincerely love Matt, incase any of you were wondering what i am about.”
“Andy Loves Matt forever more!”
“Why?”
“Because Matt loves Andy forever more! duh!”
LOL
God blesses ALL.
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+
(again andy gracefully turns and waunders off back to his art studio that he loves to dwell in, away from the absurd world of fear mongers, as the crowd still silent, until one softly speaks to another, whispering “i wonder if andy forgot to take his meds this morning?”)
“i heard ‘that’!!
lol
me free guys, not need, as my feelings are pure and real, which i love…sincere and true loving feelings forever more for all of YOU, of what i know is true of me, also true of us ALL.
blessings to all.
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+
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“Remember to always BE found of the no time constraint visionary YOU all are which FULLY embraces AT ALL TIMES, ‘that’ the BEST is YET to COME!, in our visionary knowingness, that feels the truth of our pure of heart loving feelings for one another, that indeed,……without useless absurd doubt, like that of the mean spirited world…..THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
got it?
ok. carry on.
on we go.
blessed are the pure of heart. you KNOW who YOU ARE.
i am…BE cause WE ARE….blessed PURE of HEART.
God loves ALL. Jesus loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
bless you
thank you God. thank you Jesus. thank you to all who are PURE of HEART, loved by God, loved by Jesus, loved by me, loved by we who are sincerely loving of Jesus, God and each other, in our ‘love devoid of doubt love for one another’, true of us ALL, pure knowingness of the truth of our loving feelings is TRUE of all souls of the earth.
thank you.
bless you.
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+
Hi….
hm…is this really M writing these posts? Or…? Teeeeeell me , I wanna know…..:)
I can teeeeeell you – it can’t be Madonna – she’s performing in Spain right now. So it’s just some joker.
For 15 years I thought it was the real Madonna, but I’ve finally given up. This is the proof it can’t be her.
I’m off to the Mariah Carey forum. Now I think Mariah really **does** post in there. I’ve always been a fan of hers. I’ll make her fall in love with MEEEE!!!!
Is she married? I have no idea. I think she is.
It’ll have to be Kylie then.
(that was a joke. Don’t get your knickers in a twist)
lol
know what? your feelings?
they are your feelings to know what ever of who ever you want…your life to live, no one elses.
how should i know what your feelings are?
i am just the same happy go luck guy i always was, a fun loving care free spirit for all of thee.
stay as upbeat as you can possibly feel during the tour, as our love is always with you…always.
i will do what i can to cheer you up each day. ok?
i am to please.
we are all deserving of pure clarity, which feels good for us, unclarity toxic for us.
i prefer clarity.
anythings…no thanks.
holding someone’s hand we love, is holding someone’s hand we love.
kissing someone’s lips we love, is kissing someone’s lips we love.
it’s nice when it is of certainty, as uncertainty is what does not work.
bin there. done that way to many times.
eventually, we just know who is the right one for us. you just know…love which feels the clarity of certainty thru and thru.
it’s kinda silly to play uncertainty games when potentially we could lose someone who loved us, who grows tired of the nonesense and…well…just walks away.
and let’s not forget, we are all deserving of certainty of love, and holding someone back is unfair.
anyway, just rattling….in my self imposed cage.
i want a loving lover, and i will know by how they make me feel if it is real for them.
you just know.
only one life to live, and it’s only about love, nothing else is as important, and we are all from love, and loving, everyone of us.
Indeed, we are all more alike than not alike.
which is the goal of Jesus and God, that we see are sameness, rather than all the useless indifferences of the ignorant minds.
i love everyone.
lately, around here, i feel betrayed…thinking i had a friend named Matt.
i would not ever treat someone with silence like that…not ever.
it is just so cold, here one day, not a word the next?…mean spirited.
what fucking planet am i on?
cut someone lose.
never mind, i will cut myself lose.
you guys bore me.
rant over.
don’t mind me…im just tired
i don’t feel i am overly sensitive when it comes to someone who claimed to be real, and indeed, felt real in their sincerity with me, wondering to myself, if i were them, i would at least say something.
we don’t treat each other like this in the community, making me wonder if it was all a hoax by someone, like so many are on the internet, insincere and hurtful of many like they do, in all their mind fuck childish games.
nonetheless, exploration of self has been rewarding for me, although somewhat boring when interactions with other are so sparse, i think to myself, what am i doing? Go meet some ordinary easy going friends instead, who are indeed, real, as in really decent with one another, and not the insanity this whole experience is feeling like to me.
unconditional love, ya sure, time well spent.
anyway…if Matt was someone real…he is not acting real at all, and personally, it is totally insulting for me as a human being who has feelings.
real?
i can show you all real…as in really gone for good one day.
in the end, it was me who signed my self into this self emposed prison of the mind in the first place.
not very rewarding for me on a personal level…with more uncertainty than one should ever stomach or tolerate from anyone…my own doing in choice of friends who don’t act like friends at all.
rant over…
seems i am the only one of clarity, and in truth…i feel like an alien most days.
Matt was a hoax, wasn’t he?
i knew it…all a lie.
yet, my feelings do not lie.
but why stay where i leave myself open to other people’s painful conduct with me…i mean what the fuck?
fuck this.
Kylie’s alright she’s bringing her show to Melb, someone has too
Andy,
Careful what you wish for !
you might end up like me, destined to end up in love with a crazy egocentric lollypop nutter, ah such is love
i sorta figured Matt was not real, by his only coming in once or twice a week…
i was worried about someone who does not exist, albeit, our unconditional loving work, is of those who do exist, just as i existed and went thru what i went thru in my coming out years.
im not really angry about anything, just feeling empty from some who claimed they were all this about being real, and then so cold(like nothing i have experienced in along time), in not being even remotely someone i would consider a friend, knowingness, it is not within me to do this to another….fucking silent treatment motherfucking bullshit fucked upness, that is exceedingly toxic, perplexing, mean spirited….well….just not loving…a lie….not of God.
vent…
rant over.
love?
fucking bullshit is what it is.
no one treats me so distant like that.
fuck off.
(andy comes to terms with the shorthandedness of another, realizing he already holds the key to heaven, as he walks out the door, giving the finger as he leaves)
lol
i am going to trash my blog, and maybe start a new one…posting pics and what not…no more interacting with people on the fucking internet…motherfuckers.
get off the drugs Andy, take a chill pill instead
i will tell you what…i will act like the way you treat me…like i don’t exist
you people don’t how to say fucking hello to someone
fuck this.
im the only one truly wanting a friendship….obviously.
and sadly, that’s how it feels…unreal….false, like talking to fucking wall…nobody there…changing names all time…pretending…fucking insane.
Only decent person around the blog is Rosie.
thankfully, i have enough self-esteem, self-respect, sel-preservation to pull myself away from toxic behaviour on the net.
it’s true…the net is a vipers nest for people’s inappropriateness.
i need reallness…i am going to go have a real life now.
oh, great, someone posing as Matt now i suppose.
well Matt, you have been too distant for me to care anymore.
good luck in your so called REAL life…bullshit….all bullshit.
go around treated people like that in real life?
good luck keeping any friends….i mean really?
not even a hello all summer long.
about mean spirited as i am willing to tolerate.
i poured out my heart…and not even a fucking hello?
not human.
i am going to keep pouring my heart to those who recipicate in life, and for sure, i will live a most incredibly passionate loving life, just as i always have, with those who are passionate like i am…
rant over
i am actually shaking my head in total disbelief of not even a hello all this time, of one’s hurtfulness of me.
cowardice and immature.
i want to change the fucking world, and no one even talks to me for fuck sakes, of one who is exceedingly learned in theology, beyone the fucking pope, indeed, of Jesus and God’s wisdom directly.
well…thanks for saying hello, while i say goodbye…so fucking cold of you all.
i ask…how the fuck can Jesus and God help us, when we don’t even say fucking hello to one another?
ring me and i’ll say hello, stop walking off on me and i’ll say hello, and not to mention all the other crap.
be normal for god’s sake, just for a day next time, you might realise how well we would actually get on, making each other laugh.
that’s what thought…Matt was hoax…but in my heart of hearts, he was not.
i ask, how long do you think it hurt me, when he left?
and how long were you going to continue hurting me the way you did?
of my not understanding how someone seemingly cared so much for me as a dear loving in friend in life, which i felt was true in my pure of heart feelings?
indefinitely?
how absurd has it been for me, in feeling the toxic impact of someone i thought, regarded me highly, and yet, the entire summer went by, not so much as even a hello.
exceedingly rude, cold, not to be tolerated, on par with gay bashing, that which is worse than murder, because the bashing of one’s self-esteem…and yes, it was gay bashing by how it made me feel, thinking it was external homophobia in Matt’s life, not sure, all the while concerned deeply for his mental/emotional well being, and then to just pop his head like this, of no fun loving spirit like before, no greeting, “oh hey Andy.” like i ment nothing to who ever is playing the role of Matt, or if there really was someone named Matt.
well now, isn’t a fine place we have arrived at of lies, deceipt and gay bashing.
not sure who to blame, and will see it as what the internet is…a viper’s nest of illness of heart unwise souls.
Ask God for forgiveness…
all in all, it did assist in pushing my unconditional love approach, just as i have done for years since Troy killed himself, a good exercise of heart and mind, ya sure.
But now i am coming to terms with Matt being a hoax, and it’s sickening for me that one could toy with another souls feelings like this.
I will channel my hurt in constructive ways, wise in doing so, and perhaps thankful of the experience…but you no idea how much worried about him all this time…praying daily.
In God’s eyes, that is the loving Andy, of sincereness and concern for all the young gay youth out there at high risk of suicide, who yet hold the top of list position.
anyway, i am tired and need to go away and rest, maybe do some more art, feelings of love for Matt, an imaginary character, yet not, in my knowingness of all those at risk, so in that sense, it has been good thing, still, i felt someday Matt would come to our festival one day, of having made safe journey in life to do so, confident and true in his self.
upset? ya just a little.
i guess part of me wants to know the truth…so i can dispell my feelings of a dear friend that felt like a very dear friend to me, and stop feeling gay bashed by his cold unapproaching of me.
ya, i would like to know the truth.
God says speak the truth.
maybe i am the only one here that does.
i give up,
your being totally irrational
what’s the point
may as well talk to the mirror
yeah…well…who ever you are Matt…this is not funny for me any more…
i was gay bashed, ok?
that’s what it was.
so if you want to be free of me…then go be free, so i don’t have to put up any more with insult and injury like i have…totally unacceptable to me…not a sign of a dear friend at all.
i will think about it, and you think the truth of the words i have spoken, for i don’t know if Matt is a hoax or not, and this whole fucking serade has sickened me.
i don’t wish to entertain the idea of making friends who i am not able to trust, having been treated the way i was.
so forgive me if i don’t really give a fuck.
In God’s name i ask, who is Matt?
oi!
what happened to the queen of blog pop blog?!?!
cant see the old posts
dont tell she has spacked it,,, again!!! pfft!!!
amateurfacade@hotmail.com
da 3dollabill needs to know!!!
irrational?
i am supposed to look on the bright side that Matt was a hoax, which left me feeling hurt? Oh, that bright side, of my wonderful feelings of distorted pain?
my muse named Matt which was a hoax, thinking he was a real person i might yet see again, of which no one was going to clue Andy in on?
like they ever would own up to something of lies and deciept.
hmm,,,
pretty funny!!!
any hoo
back to business
still ere in ere!!!!!
x d what happened?????
i know i am tired today, overreacting, unable to get settled, so yeah, another day, i pray, but the whole trust thing has gone out the window for me.
i mean, how do you trust someone who is not able to be trusted, of someone who does not wish to extend trust…
listen to me going around in a circle, unable to settle…i’ll come back…but i want the truth now, and won’t consider friendship until in know the truth.
I do love you, you know..
i am not a hoax
just a twin
your twin
besides, i overflow this blog anyway, i want to discontinue.
i want more rewarding friendships if you must know.
i spend too much time investing in thought hanging around here with those who don’t recipricate, of my being the only one of sincere desire for friendship.
In that sense i have let go.
it is just not fun for me, if you must know…im done…
oh for fuck sakes Matt, i have many soul mate twins in life…so tell me, which one are you?
ya, it always felt like twins with you, good choice of words…but what kind of twin, a professional therapist kind of twin that works for M?
i am not as stupid as i look.
ok, there are 4 possibilities;
1 Matt is a real person
2 Matt is a professional therapist
3 Matt is M
4 Matt is a friend of M
so which two of these is correct?
hey, don’t get me wrong, i am all for having fun…but i was overcome seeing Matt’s return of recent, as i had prayed for him daily since June.
ok, i was over it a little myself
cyber space
not really real
bye..
bye everyone
Andy’s leaving
I’m going to
see you all in Heaven
one day.
love and kisses.
Matt..
well, in that case twin?
if you feel that i am your twin, that is good thing to hear you say, as that is how i felt too, both with M and Matt….sitll do.
i don’t want to let go of that in life, as it is rare.
now what kind of person does that, just toss me once again?
oh…i am so done with the fucking internet cyber bullies.
option 2
you are a coward in God’s eyes for not telling me.
ok…thanks M.
and i suppose a round of applause for Matt too, yes?
why not.. applause
Twin’s not stupid either
ya, getting one’s needs met on the internet is not a healthy approach for me, and is why i want to disengage from entertaining unhealthy time spent, and go live my life.
so i am thankful you helped me see the reality check of cyber bulling…inability to trust on the net is great, in my knowingness of what safe and supportive is in real life, having had many years in therapy.
so once again…thanks Matt…it’s been a slice.
i will only be on my own blog from now on.
i kinda figured you a therapist using the word irrational.
hey, i really lost it today…fearlessly so too, yes?
confident, yes?
fucking bullshit, never again will i trust anyone on the fucking internet.
+
ah…it’s a happy ending…Andy found himself again, of how much he loves guys, and so Andy will go live his gay life.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God Blesses ALL
+
~ The end, game over
biyatch !
lol
it was not a game to me, nor shall it ever be.
i don’t want to get hurt either M, nor do i wish to hurt you.
now kiss me and make up you two !
lol
i am going to kill something…you fucking killed my best friend.
oh, i think i not be kissing you for awhile.
LOL
fuck fuck fuck!
you’ll just have to find away to convince me how much you truly love me…
feelings of my entire life greeting me this day, here you stand Andy, a loving friend, a loving lover for one most loving of Andy is the only lover Andy will settle for…’that’ you can count on.
you just know.
i love you, but this whole thing has unravelled for me now, of what matters most to me in life…sincere genuine heart felt love for another we love with all that we are.
i want that with someone.
we all do.
here’s the thing for me…i am totally fearless of the world, in not being lured into anything that is not pure of heart loving friends and lovers.
did that for the first half of my life, walking around in life in a sorta uncertainty, running with who ever, no concept of belief system for mental/emotional/sexual/spiritual well being yet developed.
Today it is fully developed…where i can easily detect who is real and who is not, avoiding the lesser mentalities, knowing it usually flys apart before it gets better, all the work i have gone thru, knowing they to must do the same.
I am as free as the air i breath, not tolerating any negativity from anyone ever again.
they can think about me all they want, but without sincere pure of heart approach with me?
no thanks.
i am exceedingly sensitive over Matt right now, who did not exist, wanted to exist, crushed.
all good for Andy, as he walks away, looking for someone like Matt who is as loving like Andy truly is.
what did we learn?
Love is what MATTers, until someone fucking killed Matt.
fuck.
lol
anyway….i want to live a homosexual life…so just forget anything we may have had felt…all imagination.
yeah right.
i wonder how Jesus would feel if his best friend was killed like that?
fucking pissed off i bet.
well…Matt is not dead in my mind, where i should change my name to Matt, knowing how loving i was of Matt.
Indeed, i was loving of Matt.
Indeed, i will love another like Matt, the same way i loved Matt.
i happy ending for Andy coming to know just how loving he really is.
thanks everyone, for the spiritual awakening i have gone thru of how much i love to love, like Jesus loved to love.
Love is the only thing of value to me.
all the useless negativity, hypocrisy…all lies.
so do me a favor everyone, and love someone like i love(d) Matt, and i will do the same, ‘that’ i know….without doubt.
i am thankful.
i am grateful.
i am a homosexual, loved by Jesus, God, and someone like Matt forever more.
Go live your lives as loving as i know mine will BE, and feel love each and every second of each blessed day.
thank you for mirroring who i am…someone as loving as thee.
God blesses all.
i am free to fly, Love Set Free.
free to love again…free to love ALL.
just as we have been doing.
don’t settle for anything but your own loving feelings for another, who equally feel the same for you.
life is too short to betray your SELF.
and forget about me while you are at it….hell, there are way better looking people than me.
i want a soul mate lover, and won’t settle for anything less.
When you know, you just know.
i know i had that with you, but along the way, Andy fell in love with an imaginary guy, someone you created for me to love.
why, so i could deal with my pain of Troy.
i deal my pain of Troy in every waking moment of life, where indeed, i am as though a spirit walking the earth, in the mindset of just how sensitive a human being is.
fuck…i was just getting into my bisexual art too.
too pissed off to give a fuck now.
i am just upset…bare with me.
it’s all good, and i will eventually come out of feeling what i feel, like a lab mouse.
+
ok, so let’s keep doing what Jesus wants us to do, “love one another.’ and remember all the Troy’s and Matt’s in the world who need our love to make it thru to a joyful loving life, shall we?
Instead of wondering about it. There is nothing to wonder about love we know.
we know.
on we go.
blessings to all.
God loves ALL. Jesus loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
+
sorry…i am being totally insensitive of you right now.
i am just too emotional right now to talk with anyone, barely even able to feel.
will take a break and try to get grounded again…have not had much sleep in the past 48 hours.
i am not at east at all, and i don’t like how this feels.
need to go and pray, reconnect with my sensitive true self.
forgive my absurd outbursts…not me. just upset about Matt, that’s all.
sorry…i am being ungrateful, and i hate it when i get like this…will go listen to some Candy Dulfer for awhile, and just feel my life of loving feelings.
on a positive note, now is a time to be in remembrance of what Jesus said, “Where your heart is, there too shall BE your treasure(loving joyful feelings sincere and true of us all) and your life(our life as loving family united as one).
We must turn towards what we know joyfulness of feelings to be, and in our pure knowingness having felt and yet feel(the future), and continue to push ourselves forward into what we all subconsciously yearn for, stepping forward into the world as loving warriors of the light of Jesus and God, of the unstoppable force and fortitude we are, truth which is not able to fail, our feelings so true in loving feelings for one another, for we have BEcome wise of God’s divine will for us to BE the WILLINESS to do so, for sake of other’s first, for sake of us second, having come all this way, where we know….without doubt…the world is a more loving place for our loving brothers and sisters to safely journey in the world, of our ever determination to push out fear in the world by means of loving our enemies, leading by example of what we know to BE 100% true in our knowingness of SELF, pure of heart, exceedingly joyful by means of our united spirit of pure sincere love for one another, Rosie, Kelly, Madonna, and all we who are sincerely pure of heart, where united we stand, divided we fall, of our KNOWINGNESS of SELF, TRUE of everyone including our enemies yet sadly snared by ignorance.
with or without you, i am committing myself to production of the 100 clowns, which is a vision of the future i feel within me of the exceedingly joyful Andy, who is already standing in the future in his knowingness of how you too will feel within, of surrendered spirit to what i know to BE true of you all, of what we all subconsciously yearn for and seek, to BE fearless, of no more fear, in allowing our thoughts to BE only of pure love for one another, deviod of the immature unwise afraid fear of the world, where we know without doubt, the only way to experience the treasure Jesus speaks of beyond all riches of the world, is thru coming clear in BEing free of fear completely, which is the only way to experience EXCEEDING JOYFULNESS of the pure of heart loving spirit within us all united as ONE ~ family.
Rosie is one such individual in life who is of the fearlessness i speak of. We all are. It’s just useless ego and hurt that gets in the way, in our afraid stuckness which may be afraid of rejection.
In the name of Jesus, i say this, “What we turn towards, we BEcome. If we do not turn towards gratefulness and gratitude of our arriving in life thus far of the exceeding wisdom of God now before us, then we will fall from God’s grace, in turning away from our pure loving compassionate wisdom of Jesus and God, should we not embrace that out there in the world is a young gay youth who may kill themselves without out help. We know they are out there hurting and afraid, and i am turning away from any useless attitudes of any kind and turning towards them, for i know they need us to take their hand in our revealing to them, ‘that’ which we know to BE true of them, mirroring their inner joyfulness, saying to them, “Come with us, for you are loving like we are, here, put this on(clown outfit
, for it is of God and it will protect you, surrounding you with our loving feelings we feel for one another, as you are one of us.”
If we turn away from that which is 100% TRUE of us, we turn away from our SELF, the SELF of those in great need of us, and in so doing, away from the divine will of Jesus and God who will apon us to BE the WILLINGNESS of our WISDOM in doing so.
So who is with me?
i am not taking no for an answer, so you can sit there for all eternity if you want…i am going ahead with my commitment with Jesus and God, commitment to my SELF in doing so, commitment to SELF of ALL of you, commitment to SELF of the many Troy’s and Matt’s in the world, and i will succeed in saving them from this unwise world which surrounds us.
again i ask, “who is with me?”
Keep on…Keeping it together.
We have not come all this way to quit, have we?
i am not quiting, so don’t even think that i will ever BE something i can no longer BE, uncaring, inconsiderate of my SELF and SELF of us all.
IT is of God’s divine will that we do not fall from grace.
At all times, You have 4 minutes to decide, which is all the time one needs to shed a tear of compassion for those we know are in darkness about to hurt themselves, in turning away from unwise apathy like so many who are seemingly disconnected in feeling(subconscious aimless souls), unlike we who are awakened in cognitive awareness, peaceful and at complete rest, graceful in our pure loving conduct of fearlessness of love for each other, as we stitch each loving stitch in our costuming, which is of the angels of God who walk the earth, we who are more loving than most in the world, of the GLBT worldwide community.
Andy, shut up!
lol
so who’s with me motherfuckers?
lol
i ain’t taking no for an anwser, and will do this with or without any of you….’that’ you can count on.
You’ll see. It is coming, and i will BE there, of Jesus and God’s WILLINGNESS to do so….a mission from God, for sake of another, for sake of Andy’s pure of heart loving compassion he has felt since loss of his best friend and lover life, Troy, who Andy betrayed long ago, when Andy betray his true feelings for Troy in his egotistic useless conduct with Troy, which Troy felt, instead of the TRUE love within Andy, Andy, who cannot escape the truth of his feelings of the pure undeniable truth over Troy, that Troy killed himself because of Andy’s unBEcoming conduct.
Welcome to the pure truth wisdoms of Jesus and God who i stand before at all times, as one who has given his life to God’s work, of not being able to BE to turn away, nor will i, for i cannot escape the truth…no can anyone, just as many there are in our community who know full well, both the Becoming and unBecoming conduct of how the world yet is, in their daily experience of the many who do not know us, do not desire to know us, and do not love us in all these unBEcoming unloving, unwise, uncompassionate conducts…not of God.
So again, who among us is of God and wishes to remain as i am and shall always BE, of BEcoming conduct united as ONE with Jesus, God and one another?
this is not just about orientation, as i have expressed before.
At all times, BE of the empowerment of the visionary YOU, who like me, can easily feel the feelings i feel of my visions with all of YOU.
or, get left behind and be one of the last to enter.
you have 3 minutes left to decide. lol
i jest.
i am an OUT bisexual. Respect me as one, who is open with all of you, a human BEing just like YOU, with real feelings for us ALL, asking you to participate with me as a friend of Jesus and God, for sake of another first(of love like Jesus, of God), for sake of SELF of us ALL second in making the world a brighter place for ALL.
anyway…i have to think positive right now, while feelings of losing best friends keep trying to creep in…my own insecurity.
forgive my absurd childish unfocused immature behaviour….i am just really sensitive right now, and yet while out walking, i felt a freeing from fear come over me, of an the world we have created thus far, in having come all this way with all of you.
come on, were late, let’s go!
~ some for you think about, of my new mission from God i have assigned myself.
+
i am going start campaigning for volunteer’s in the coming months ahead.
i am going to do this, and reveal to you all, just how fearless i really am.
in my heart, i am standing in the warm sun, of music playin, forever in the moment of the future i am going to create, in my pure of heart knowingness of how it feels while standing there with all of you, with or without you…i am already there, and i WILL BE there for all to see and feel who we are….ourely loving of one another, of no useless fear or absurd jealousies, resentments, bitterness or anything that distracts me from God’s work that is for sake of one soul out there which i know is always there, where i (we) will greet them in full glory of who they all are inside, of our knowingness of SELF within.
thank you for listening(feeling).
i am not falling from God’s grace. I cannot escape the truth, nor do i ever want to turn from ‘that’ which is true of me, true of us ALL.
God loves ALL. Jesus loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
+
i am so in need of rest and some down time, return to my peaceful by nature self.
forgive my inappropriate conduct with you.
this has been an impactful event for me emotionally.
at least i know Matt will BE more than ok!
lol
fuck!
better off than me, that’s for sure.
thank God for ‘that’!
thank you Matt.
God bless you Matt.
anyway…time to set Andy’s spirit free, and in so doing, set yours free too in my letting go.
my heart is always open for you, but i don’t want you to feel like i have expectations of any of you, rather i want you to come to the fearlessness we in joining me in the celebration of True Life of forever more loving friends, as my love true for ALL.
We are chosen by God, of this i am certain.
i am not about accolade which seperates anyone from us, rather i am about accolade which unites us ALL in exceeding joy, of God’s knighthood of pure truth wisdoms of theology and psychology findings, of no religious organization whatsoever, nor shall i ever BE of such, and rather, i am the divine true SELF within us ALL which always yearns to unite in harmony of the peaceful loving by nature rays of harmonious loving feelings within us ALL.
i am there, and i WILL BE there forever more.
always did.
always WILL.
always.
(ok Andy, get off the fucking stage, we get it. stop already, will ya?)
lol
God bless you ALL.
from the bottom of my heart that Jesus and God help me search, i found the loving Andy who loves you all.
forever more, thank you. thank you. thank you
bless you bless you bless you
+
+
in no small measure shall i ever BE found of God, for i know i am the WILLINGNESS of Jesus.
thank you God. thank you Jesus. thank you to all who embrace their WILLINGNESS of God’s divine will for us to remain of the WILLINGNESS which saves us all from the unwise teachings of the forefathers who did/do not know God, nor desire to know.
we know.
on we go.
peace OUT everyone!
+
i am not saying goodbye…i am saying hello to someone just like me…so either get with a real friend in you life, or don’t.
and who knows…maybe we will fall in love when we do.
still not sure?
i am…only loving of you, of us ALL.
you’ll see by to continued effort of what i turn to, ‘that’ which true of us all.
you have no reason not to BE a real life friend to me, just as i have no reason to ever turn away from YOU, someone just as sensitive and loving as thee, as in the thee in ALL of YOU.
how can we ever unite in doing God’s work if we don’t speak with another.
anyway, just wanted you to know, my love is true, and my the door of my heart is always open, just don’t bring Matt with ya next time, who was totally distracting for me, in a good way of course.
forever more friends, true and faithful till the end, ‘that’ is what we are, so let’s act like we are.
i am deserving of such friends in life of the same great empowerment, and i have many visions of the world i want to create and participate in, and indeed, make no mistake…i am going to create it, with or without YOU, always with YOU in my heart of hearts, for sake of us ALL, of Jesus and God, that i(we) do.
ok…im OUT.
and who knows, i might start liking girls again.
ewww, kissed by a girl!!!!!
lol
i fucking love you damn it, and you know it.
i look for the same sincerity you do and are.
i know…you are just like me in pureness of heart, and deep inside, i don’t want to let go, and i won’t…i just can’t handle the uncertainty which keeps trying to get in, because of my mission with God, that i won’t allow anyone to interfer with in anyway. I am going to do it, no matter what, come what may. It is of God that we do, and we both know it.
My visions of the future 20 years from now is my empowerment, and i cannot do it alone…why would i want to.
we are likeminded, so why not say hello to real life?
it is what i came for, in every step, every letter typed here with you.
of Jesus, of God, a true and faithful friend of ALL forever more.
i am…BE cause…we are…of Jesus, of God, of a true and faithful friend of ALL forever more.
just don’t bring Matt with ya, ok? that fucking biyatch broke my heart! lol
sweet dreams everyone, like the dreams i have of you.
ah fuck…i feel like i am talking to no one again…
12, 976 blessed days to go.
bless you
yeah sweet dreams x
remember, i am of the no time contraint mentality, that of Jesus and God.
i am not one to merely be listened to, felt and heard, like that of someone hold a Jesus sign up in the street.
i am of the empowerment of God which is as bright as the sun above, and i am of the same magnitude of empowerment.
i am taking on the entire world of God’s divine will that i do, and you all shall see one day, the truth of these words i speak with you, in ushering in the kingdom of heaven for us all.
i merely seeking volunteers of likemindedness as my own; for those not of the maturity and willingness to rise up with God, then you are not yet of the destiny of clarity i am BEcoming of.
if i am merely a flower in your garden to look apon, well keep looking, for my seeds fall apon the ground year after year of perenial freshness which does not stop growing in numbers and strength.
join and unite together as ONE, which we have done, and indeed, you taught me that.
i am here, as one just like you, of my chosen path of destiny with Jesus and God.
i know who i am, a pure loving child of the light of God, which does fade or die, as i am of the TRUTH within me which explodes outward with radiant bright light of wisdom that pushes out all darkness from the earth, of no time constraint or concern in how long it will take to do so, of 100% dedication of my life to Jesus and God, the true and faithful friends in my life forever more, where my fearlessness is of Jesus and God, beyond most any.
you’ll see, as time passes…i will BE there, year after year until my last day apon this blessed earth, looking around me in knowingness that every step was in step with Jesus and God. i ask one and all to join me, for sake of all our loving brothers and sisters of the GLBT worldwide community.
peace OUT everyone.
God bless you all
Some normal people would be nice …
They didn’t like my photo of a skyscraper in the “UK Urban Photo Contest”, so I substituted it:
http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?t=707510
surely my art works speaks with clarity of my understanging of God’s divine will for us all, does it not?
Radiant and bright, free of fear of forever more loving lovers and friends.
so why hesitate in an opportunity to be real life frlends?
i did not come all this way to get a cold shoulder…that’s just not something i will ever be able to deal with, nor want to, of your decision to do so, not mine…i was willingness, and i will always BE WILLINGNESS.
maybe that’s my problem, i am trying to hard to make friends, with those who don’t act sincerely enough to want to be my friends.
well, your loss not mine, as eventually i will just stop trying.
anyway…too emotional right now to keep going like i do, and will go find somewhere else to hang out, seeing as no one wants to chat.
i would not do that to anyone, who truly desire a friendship, nor will i, as i am here to stay as i am, sincerely loving of ALL forever more.
We cannot change the world by ourselves…it is not possible.
Jesus knew this, and is likely the single biggest reason he let them kill him, telling everyone, i cannot do this by myself, you and all your immature approaches with one another, who do not take up God’s wisdom and side with the truth that does not fail, the truth of all things i reflect apon and know of all of you, leaving all to think with clarity what happened that dreadful day they crucified someone of God.
Jesus knew he was of God, an eternal BEcoming of pure truth wisdom within and out, a spirit of no time constraint nor desire of anything of the worldly desires which grip the world with egotism and unloving apathy for one another, shaking his head in disbelief of how cold and seperated everyone was(is) from their pure of heart available to all.
So i ask, “how will i ever be able to do this alone? It is not possible, and yet i have not given up faith all these years that one day we would unite in friendship forever more, nor do i want to let go of how it could be, and indeed of how it is becoming, a more loving world for GLBT community of what is actually happening, what Jesus wanted to happen, unite together as one, and stand forever of the forever more loving feelings which surround us now like we do. How far we have come, and how much further we have to go?”
I know now, it is not about orientation any more, and that is the next step for us all where we all feel united forever more loving feelings now, of no issues of seperation of race, sex, orientation, religion, politic…ONE worldwide family.
anyway….just rattling on like i always do.
goodnite.
shut up Andy!
what?
oh you fucking love me, and you know it!
fine…i will let myself out of here on my own…as usual.
catch up with me someday, ok?
alright then…caio.
(andy walks off, wondering to himself how the hell he is ever going to afford to make 100 clown outfits, thinking maybe it was all just a silly dream he had so long ago, and yet, the feelings were real for him, of his delightful fun loving spirit which he wants everyone to feel how it feels, if only he could find friends in life who think the way he does, of his dreaming child self within who won’t take no for an answer, as Andy yet again finds ways to keep himself calmed down, lest they all think of Andy as some who’s lost his mind.)
ah fuck…now i am having out of body expiences…this is not good.
in the blink of an eye, these passing moments are gone from our thoughts, of friends we pass on by in life, such as this moment.
Is anyone actually listening to anyone, or are we all just doing our thing like zombies without a care, as we shut one another out, pretending we don’t really care.
such is this fucking world we all live in…so disconnecting in all it’s useless fucking trivalness.
well fuck that, i am going to spend life in a lover’s embrace of one most loving of me and i them till the day i finally leave this bullshit fucking world behind.
sorry…it’s just how i see the aimless souls of the world, so self serving they all are, disconnected, seemingly heartless while so much of the world is in need of a healing hand of love. don’t people see how they really are, so cold and uncaring, arrogant, so ego driven, and feeling proud of it in their emptiness of such illness of heart, filling their lives with useless nonesense of conversation.
i prefer just being ordinary, a curious student of life, forever my self in greeting of another, sincere in approach, open conversation with them, gentle questioning of their thoughts on issues, always nurturing of them in every way.
anyway…i felt like we wanted to be friends…i really do feel that with you.
i need to spend some time getting grounded back in study, of the calm mentality of me who is ever curious, and open discussion with likemindedness with others.
that’s who i am, the same easy going fun loving student Andy i always was, still am, seeking those who are fun loving of carefree gentle spirit, free of substance abuse forever more. I love it. i feel who i really am in each passing moment of each day, mornings being my favorite time of all.
It’s just life everyone, meant to be enjoyed, an ordinary world of all of us who all went thru high school, all running around doing our careers, doing what we dreamed of doing, raising families, building communities, participating in the lives of others, what ever way we choose to do, in making the world a better place.
Indeed, we are all the same students from long ago, a little wiser, some not so much wiser, a little older, some healthier by the choices they make in staying physically fit, many not so fit, including my Mom, who is way to overweight for her own good, each and everyone of us, pointing our life in what ever direction we chose and choose to do, doing whatever we want, our life to live where, with who, at all times, everything we do, our own individual choices of whatever, and whereever with whoever, ever waking and walking apon a ball of dirt covered with life. Nothing complicated about the ordinary world we live in, all around us, all of us entertaining ourselves how ever way we wish.
But i will say this, if it were not for the musicians and artists of the world, we would likely not be as easy going as we are, ever the music which lifts our spirits up each day.
So, if you don’t mind, i think i will hang around somewhere in the world with you all, of a fellow student from the schools we all passed thru, of just another like any other, doing my thing, with who ever is there, of what ever the fuck we feel like doing.
lol
i am trying to cheer my self up, can you tell…fuck. ha.
im bored.
that new video scares me for some reason, a vivid snap shot of the world we live in that is so disconnected from the damage business and goverments are making of the world, in all their arms dealing around the world, children being born into the absurdness of if all.
i mean, why manufacture a gun in the first place, that has only one purpose, to hurt another.
Is the world that unnurturing of it’s own children as loving human beings?
aah, the world of the unwise, so obvious to feel everywhere it seems.
think about it, who puts a weapon in a child’s hand and tells the child to go kill another child?
In God’s eyes, that’s what they do.
worse, the arms dealers sit back in their wealth so boastful and proud of the empty thrones of nescience…sickening to believe how absurdly fucked up a soul can become so derranged. Who raises these children to do what they do…oh yeah, the ignorant teachings of the forefathers.
anyway, i though maybe i would go back over to my blog, start a fresh new chapter, one day at a time of the life of Andy, new camera in hand for what ever and what ever, just doing my thing, whereever with who ever is there….maybe take some film course and hang out with the film junkies and writers.
enjoy the blessed day everyone.
rant over.
I might become a private detective and spy on everyone
about as boring a job anyone could ever want, bad enough having to tolerate working with them, who would want to spy on their boring ass lives? lol
truly, most everyone in life, in all they say and do, bores me to tears.
which points me to what the ultimate goal in life is and has been for me…passionate lovers embrace.
i am not just talking about sex either…i am talking about truly passionate loving lovers who are of the same mindset, lover’s embrace, and not all these things which stress out our minds and bodies with so much negativity.
yeah, that’s where i want to always be, and have been my entire life.
sorry…im just feeling unispired lately. like what’s the point of my even being here.
at some point we just become annoyed by it all, bored, and…well….move on.
that’s it feels for me right now…hot tub calling me to come to lover’s embrace and forget what ever reason i once had for being here….by myself in spirit if seems.
life is too short to spend it alone, and disconnected from the yearning of self to find another like they are.
how fucking long have i been at this?
wow…months….years…..
and for what?
to find out if i could make any friends?
what friends?
friends talk endlessly for hours at a time, tireless in doing so, about whatever.
i was such a friend here…but in truth…i am bored.
so on that note…i will take my self to a new beginning somewhere in the world.
tired of waiting i suppose for something of even the remote possibility of a real life friend.
what do we talk about around here anyway besides nothing?
and how much fun have we had while the rest of the is living life?
just stupid how much time i spent here, although i suppose i did explore the depth of my own soul in my experiential writing, and indeed, i have grown confident in the truth of what what Andy is all about…sincere, pure of heart, tenderly loving, genuine.
who would not want that?
passion is a two way street.
i think i am going toss my PC into the recycle bin, and not ever do this again….it’s all just seemingly absurd for me now…and i don’t know why.
i think it was the sparseness of it all….
like Matt said, yeah, i was sorta over the whole internet thing too.
yep!
real life guys…go live it!
and i will do the same.
i mean think about it…hot tub? PC? lover? PC?
duh!
such morons we are.
one thing i did learn…don’t ever trust anyone on the internet.
they can toy with you endlessly, and think nothing of it, which is all fine and well, but genuine consideration for you…no.
i have met truly incredible souls on the net, but most are flakey at best.
wow…i have really lost my motivation…like someone died i suppose…oh yeah, Matt died, i forgot.
and to think i had a real life friend there for awhile…of my approach with him which was genuine for sake of his mental emotional well being.
and prayed for him too…
only to find out….he did not exist.
ah well…people do what they do in life.
i am going to keep being the supportive Andy i always have, but this whole internet thing is bullshit for me.
we all live scattered around the world.
where in truth, real life will always win over anyone you meet on the net, and let’s not forget the way everyone changes their names.
i am deserving of real life, and not all this mind fuck stuff full of uncertainty conduct of others.
honestly, i don’t know how or why i tolerated as much as i have.
so yeah…i am so over this internet thing, which always felt like i was the only one interested in any of you.
Important Announcement
ANdy
is going to live in the real world
whoo hooo
meet ya at the $2 bagel & caffe, down town
if you really want to know someone and take time with them in your desire to spend quality time with them, you may want to tell them, “hey, i really want to keep what we have.” before they become uninterested in you and walk away from your own conduct with them, leaving you wonder why they left, too late once it wanes for them.
i can’t handle uncertainty very well, and let’s face it, it was exceedingly sparse at best….sometimes days at a time.
well, i held some hands for awhile…but i deserve better treatment of genuine sincerity which is passionate, and not, “oh, i am not having a good day today and need someone to talk too kind of friend like so many are on the net, of passing by like you are a TV, something to watch or not watch, according to what ever kind of day you are having…yeah, that’s it felt for me most of the time…an empty feeling of sorts.
it’s been fun. but Andy is yeaning to unfold his wings somewhere else now, of utter disdain for the net now.
yeah probably, with the most passionate loving lover on the planet sitting with me, that you can count on.
you people think it’s all about you wealth.
obviously it is not by the way you treated Andy
who want lack lust zeal like you all have been with me?
i mean, do me a favor…and get real someday, ok?
if we do not know our soul mate lover self, we will not recognize a soul mate lover.
Troy and i never had any money, and yet, we were the most passionate lovers alive.
anyway…this whole thing is just a stupid pipe dream for me, nothing sincerely genuine at all in approach.
so yeah…get real someday…for your sake, not mine…i have already left.
here we go, now it’s the money thing, on on on you go
if it’s not one thing it’s another, is it not ?
retorical question.
meet you at the cross road then..
bare naked and penny less.
Lol..
so,,, we should spare a thought on the last thought,,, no not the one thats up your ass!!!
for all those people lucky enough to go on tour,,, please remember there are people livin on the streets, homeless, etc,,, pull ya bloody heads in!!!
madonna you should just firte their asses!!!
pluueezzz,, as if some people,,, really
at least i do cuz i love it
i am a performwer at heart
its in me blood
now i am off to dance and eat dumplings!!!!
yum
dance dance dance
and f off to all the spoilt losers out there dont cum near or on me,,,
xxx
yeah hey fuckers!!!
fuck or be fucked????
oh and hey lady,,, madonna, lovin the footage of the tour!!!
but i could a dressed ya better!!!!
may b ?!?!
x d
why’s this blog only got comments from guy’s
were did all the girls go (excluding andy), like liz butterfly and Maria
Madonna, I know it’s a long shot, but you might be able to help me – chuck this across to your legal team.
I am having a nightmarish time trying to complete the sale of my flat because the bunch of idiots at my flat management company (Wood Management, Solictor Enquiries Department, RMG House, Essex Road, Hoddesdon, Hertofordshire, EN11 0DR – Tel. 0845 002 4203) are dreadfully slow in supplying something called a “Licence to Assign” to my solicitor (John Collins, Swansea). They don’t seem to have a clue. If there’s any way you can kiss some ass in this matter I would seriously be eternally grateful. I’m stressed-out by it!
Thanks a lot,
Andrew.
Should read “KICK some ass”
Anything you can do to help would be genuinely very much appreciated.
See ya,
X
ok then…seeing as we are indeed of the same mindset, in our knowingness of the true depth of compassion we are so pure in our understanding what the world is in desperate need of, the all powerful leaders of great wisdom in ushing in the kingdom of heaven on earth, the most enlightened ones chosen by God, of humble student mentality, free of ego with one another like we are, fearless of feeling our feelings like we do, untangled from the world controlled by fear, i agree…let’s truly “KICK some ass” for sake of all the precious loving souls of the world snared by the world which is self serving, not of God.
I know who i am, a visionary who feels the approaching future of how it will feel for everyone, of the most exceeding carefree fun loving experiential experience this world has ever seen, but i cannot do it alone, where it goes without saying, like you once said, “who would want to?”
I am about others in my BEcoming conduct, for sake of my self and everyone all at the same time.
i jumped out because i was having out of body experiences brought on by fatigue of staying to long in the laboratory of my mind, of my chosen quest in doing so, as i have done for decades now.
anyway….
So just who are we all on this beautiful planet?
are we not all the same children who all went thru the same schools of thought, of humble curious fun loving children loving of life and one another?
indeed we are, and indeed, some of us don’t allow ourselves to become jaded from the projections of others, easily tiring of those who approach in unwiseness…that being me and those like me.
i busted out of the world as part of my restoration of Andy, the high school sweet heart lover, of great love for music and his loving soul like others. Look apon any musician and notice how they all have a much more genuine disposition of humbleness in drawing near to them, of greater grace than most any.
anyway…you know i am fearless in pushing forward in my thinking outside the box, of learned life experience of what works for Andy, and what does not work(all negativity).
Everyone is evolving subconsiously, of the subconsious part of us all that connects us all, tenderness of loving feelings of the child within us all, afraid of all the frightful conduct of the many masks so many of us dawn in life, acting as thought they are all so much greater than another, confusing for all the child within us all, that stands back and disbelief some days.
anyway…forgive me in my stream of consciousness exploration and let me get to the point.
for years i was all about the exceeding joy of my outward expression for sake of a wise deliberate experiential experience meant for others, knowingness of what they need to embrace within them, fearlessness, rather than unwise fear projected onto them from the unwise world they may or may not be surrounded by of their own personal life ~ issue of homophobia.
then i started looking deeply into the human condition of all souls, irregardless of orientation, of a more mature Andy.
In looking around at everyone, i came to realize something we are all in need of….reconnection with exceeding joy, free of absurd useless motherfucking fear of those who dawn all these egotistic mean spirited masks like they do, in our career lives, personal, even friends we trusted for years who turn on us, all of the immature mindset that is of shortmindedness in sincere approach not only of others, but of their own child within.
anyway…at the very top of the list is restoration of exceeding joyfulness which is true of the child within us all, having experienced full heartedly what exceeding joy is as a child, where on average a child laughs 400 times per day, and adult 10 times a day.
i look at that reality check from many different angles, both of the highest levels of human condition understandings of psychologicl perspective as well as from the view point of Jesus and God.
(andy keeps yacking on and on and on, everyone glad to see him come back into clas again, some worried about him, and yet as they start to truly reflect on just who the hell andy is, the begin to fully grasp the truth that andy really is a hermetical monk of exceeding wisdom of the fountain of life which pours forth from him, of his enthusiastic explaination of the holy grail he found, and the safe passage path for mankind he knows about, if only they would really listen, suddenly, they start to really listen to what he as to say, as his own confidence and fearlessness is obvious way superior to their own, of his not stop words of wisdom and exploration of the human condition and what needs to take place to usher in the kingdom of heaven, of heaven and has already found all around him, seemly stuck here with all the doldrum mentalities which bore him to tears, pissed off in his inability to find someone like himself of sameness of enthusiasm, wisdom, passion and exceeding inner joyfulness he has come to know about of his own child within, desperate to not only find one like himself now, but to also draw out that which he has come fully into awareness about himself, exactly that of everyone of the…how many people on the planet? 6-8 billion souls.)
oh yeah, i am as fearless a one as you are likely to ever meet, thanks for noticing.
anyway……let me catch my breath, one second…ok….so what is most important in life for sake of us all from our thrones of wisdom we sit apon with one another, in open discussion of pushing forward in safe passage for mankind?
is it not experiential techniques we endeavor in in our outward radiant light of our loving zeal for life we feel inward?
indeed it is.
i propose we truly kick some ass in our deliberate creation of experiential experiences for others, as artists, musicians, passionate lovers, poets, and take it to the next level, of total freedom from fear, of such radiance so absurd and exceedingly joyful, it will leave everyone breathless for an entire year, when we roll around and do it all again, where for me, i merely wish others to feel what i feel within me, what i know is true within us all, unattended, unnurtured, unprotected, malnorished joyful loving spirits snared by the useless motherfucking business world/government/church, of all these self serving boring fucking mentalities of ego and “oh, look at me, im so fine and proper!….andy interupts, “ah, you couldn’t get laid if your life depended on it with your low sex drive left unattended in all your unwiseness of one who yet has many illness of the heart of the snaring which comes from unwiseness, sadly unknowingly for you, ya moron!”
i jest…
(the crowd chatter quietly among themselves, whispering, “he’s back, just when we thought we were free of his insanity”, as another speaks up and interrupts Andy, “ah…Andy? Can we take a coffee break and come back?”
ya sure….
anyway, i merely wish to push forward in the world with all of you, who are leaders in life in our creative experiential experiences, of my only desire to experience with all of you what it is i have found within myself, true of everyone, of one who does not have the resources to do so…i know what i am talking about intellectual, and i have moved past orientation to the last level…all of mankind.
Truly, i tell you, i care not at all of any of the wealth any of you have whatsoever, as that is not even on my list of passion, and in fact is on the other list of masks we wear(not all of you of course, in my knowingness of your pure of heart like you M, who is so remarkable to me, in my loving reflections of, “Yes, she gets it! Bravo!”
ah…double double please…thank you.
I guess i am inviting myself, tired of waiting for someone to invite me, ya sure, impatient if you must know, and yet i am truly of the no time constraint mentality of my only concern, to eleviate(did i spell that right) self awareness blocks and stuckness within others who are gripped by the controling world which uses fear, stifling for the child within us all, of nearly everyone of them sadly unwise, of no where near the level of our comprehension of the human condition.
i have come fully in my realization of, “Yes, that’s it, they don’t to know the comprehension, where our outward BEcoming of radiant brightness is what connects with the child within us all, so easily when they do….”
here is the thing though, one individual attempting to do it alone, does not have the impactfulness required to lift an entire crowd up into exceeding absurd laugh my ass off joyfulness of the playfulness of those who are like us, children of the light of God.
i want to take a moment and touch breifly on something about Jesus, of words he said which left me searching for the meaning of his words, in my attempts to understand and elaborate on, where he said, “Reach for that which is beyond my reach!”
This is a most significant statement that has to do with the entire life of Jesus, from a perspective of looking apon his entire life journey of growth into wisdom and his standing back like i do, in bewilderment of why the world is so mean spirited, and ….well….just not much joy.
we can only imagine how the world was back then, likely far worse than today, as far as controlling fear, and who knows exactly how much slavery was there at the time…10%….30%….80%…?
we just don’t know, but suspect is was alot like what the history of the GLBT community has navigated thru, and indeed, perhaps far worse. I mean look at Iraq for example, where they would kill you in front of your house, in front of you loving family, if you were caught speaking anything about the controlling regime which was not of God like we are.
We are of God, make no mistake, and we are going to continue to be victorious for all eternity, trust me on that one, i know Jesus and God’s pure truth wisdoms as relates to real pyschological fear in the world, of we who are open minded in loving sincere discussions we endeavor in, as we probe for safe passage for all of mankind to journey thru, in our 100% knowingness that we are all exactly the same, albeit, a generation of our own personal on going growth of our child within BEcome the exceeding joyfulness we always were and still are. M knows this one far beyond most any in life, and is why so many are lured to her deliberate experiential experiences everyone…
we know.
her and i have been of what a true best friend is in life, of no ill conduct toward one another for the past 15 years, ever watching of the other from a distant in our personal growth…of the true and faithful friendship we have maintained in keeping ourselves only of positive attitude toward one another in our approach with one another, just as she is of all of you…
maybe someday a biography will reveal our friendship, which is not really of any releavance other than between her and i.
she know fully why i am here over the past year or so, and we don’t have to talk about, as i am merely ‘addressing’ in saying “hey, i am here…are you ok?” i need say anything more.
anyway…sorry about that, i really became discombogulated over Matt, temporary insanity of deep seated sadness which ran it’s course with me yesterday…deep breaths…breath…ok, stop the silly confusion and feel the beautiful experiece i went thru in the mirroring of my self reflection, which i want to say, was the single greatest experience for me, which revealed my own tenderness so sincere and pure of me, where my greatest concern at this point, is to nurture the internalizing experience further so as not to ever become of ego again like so many adults are in life, in their fearful ways of unwise thinking like they do.
we are not these things of the world at all, rather we are yet the exceeding joyful children we all were, of so many submerged child within of adult children in the world.
another note about Jesus, is of the evolved adult child view point i hold of him, which is yet eluding for me, and yet, i have made incredible insight into the depth of Jesus, who was indeed of a pure no time constraint purity. This is not something most any are able to comprehend, and only of those who are of the true knowingness of what plaques the world the most for the human condition, the truth wisdom of “The Crucial Lacking of Desire for God’s Truth Wisdom’, or any wisdom which serves the mental/emtional well BEing, is it not.
Time constraint is the most significan aspect of Jesus, which he stepped fully into, 100%, and it is in doing so, that one becomes 100% free of the useless fears of the world, much like a monk does, as i have done, although i am not yet 100%, as i am yet approaching that level as we speak.
so are you with me as life time friends, or am i just junk mail….
don’t answer that!
i know what your first words will be….sorry…i was really in turmoil over Matt….crushed actually…took me some time to come full circle.
i want to keep what we have, just as i always have for so long. It is not something i can merely switch off, having been of the internalizing experience in my BEcoming of my greater sincerity within, where you can easily tell, it is where i always wish to dwell, in my ever growing and evolving divine true self like your own.
so forgive my falling off the dock into the water, cracking my head on the way down and nearly drowning…we all slip…but i am unable to fall from my BEcoming of the grace which i am, more so of the experience of recent mirroring….thank you for that….there is no value one can place on that mentarily speaking.
did you miss me?
(smack)
lol
ah, you know how much love you, so much so i don’t even have to tell you….our spiritual connection pure and true within of our most sacred pure of heart feelings for one another.
(crowd mermers some more in their hypocrisy, just who the fuck is this Andy guy to M anyway…he seems extremely intelligent and wise…wow!)
LOL
you have to pat your SELF on the back in life people, as most others in life will do the opposite most of the time, what with 90% of us all not BEing of the fortitude of wisdom in psychology.
bless you
your stressed?
i felt like i lost a best friend this week…truly…i was crushed by it….but i have come full circle…into my gratefulness and intellect that knows the greatness of mirroring, and it’s effectiveness…it was just the letting go of my hopes of a life long friendship which felt real for me that Matt and i would indeed one day become, a sense of his self which purely yearned for someone so much like himself…of a pure of heart level of trust and loving connection that was indeed, 100% real for me…
…understandable yes? my feelings of discombogulated temporary confusion in coming full circle? I wanted to break my computer, i was so upset by it at first. lol
thanks Matt.
i really want to try an explosive experiential experience for the GLBT communites world wide events. It is not a costly thing to do, of all volunteer participants, of something i would gladly manage and administrate, of no one’s knowing who is behind it, our secret.
i just don’t have the resources, but more importantly i want you to experience it for sake of you, as we are indeed like minded free spirits in the world, pure of heart sincerity we feel for everyone.
who would not want a life time real friend like that?
it is who we are to one another, is it not?
Best of all, i feel we are of God’s divine will, of what Jesus spoke of in reaching beyond what i reach for….it is my pure of heart knowingness, that what he wanted us to probe for and find(of the treasure) is the exceeding joyfulness of the child within us all, which in truth, only those of comprehension in the highest levels of psychology are of the level of awareness, yes?
i think Jesus knew his own inner exceeding joyfulness, as he is recorded as having laughed while among others, perhaps of the same secret sarcasm we are….ya…maybe….i mean it is rather obvious he was frustrated with them for not fully embracing what he was trying to say to them all…i am a bisexual you morons, i cannot be with any of you, lest i hurt any of you with your own useless jealousies that go against you….i am your fucking true and faithful friend for life damn it…don’t be stepping on me like you do.
(andy walks off once again, hoping no one tosses their coffee cup at him as he walks away) lol
ah, see, you did miss me.
i was hoping maybe you did….sincerity….ya…i need your pure of heart love for me, as my love is true for you.
i am fearlessly loving, am i not, in my openness which is beyond most any, am i not?
it is of Jesus that i am this way, of his own sincere desire for others to be openly loving of one another at all times, of what he came into full knowingness of what the greatest treasure mankind shall ever find…the FULLNESS of the fearless loving emotions of divine true SELF within us all, sadly submerged for many as we speak, sadly and so unnecessary dwelling in fear projected onto so many of the controling world of fear mongers of business/church/government…albeit, we are evolving, and indeed, our governments today do approach the mental well being of us all in their approaches for such of even the law makers, of eight laws i had changed after Troy died.
Thank you for coming yesterday to our poor country,well portugal isn’t poor,I’m. I couldn’t see the show, My heart is broken, but who cares?75 000 had fun, always the sames.lisbon,lisbon
portugal is lisbon and lisbon is portugal.
the capital is lisbon and the capital is in lisbon.this is not your fault,I know, and I still love you.but more when you come to Porto.thanks for the attention,
big kis
any hoo…just thought i would drop a line or two…or 200.
whoa!
now that was a nice stream of connected consciousness yes?
~ fountain of life which flows forth is a fountain of pure words of wisdom…every single word, i might add….all loving consideration for ALL.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
i want to get past my uncertainty into the physical realm with or without you, always with you in my heart, and feelings of with you one day perhaps true, in my continue efforts in revealing to everyone…none of us are different from one another, and it is just silly of the things we put between us, knowingness that i am deserving your you in life as a real life friend, just as i know i am, of the one reading and feeling of the sincerity of my words with you this day.
i am no slouch when it comes to forward thinking wisdoms….kinda obvious, yes?
my empowerment is of the many Troy’s in the world, and now i am reaching beyond that to the child within us all afraid and submerged, of my desire for just one day out of the year to be set free and feel what we all feel united as ONE, where indeed, none of us are any different from another.
we know the nuturing we do has a direct affect/effect on everyone’s personal life, of their freeing of fear of sexuality for example, bolstering the correct way to feel from a psychological perspective.
we know.
i am going to unstuck myself from Matt today, and move to the next level of broader embracing of the human condition at my blog…my new mission which is all inclusive like your own.
oh, and i am going to scale back on the blog here, less emotional, and more focused in probing of ideas, as you need to stay focused and at ease while in production. So you don’t need to tell me to stay on topic..please don’t, as i am…on topic….friends for life, i now we are and will always BE….who does not want ‘that’?
did you feel the time warp there in one of my comments?
i felt like i did not exist in that moment, like a stranger yelling on the street, of the sense that, i could easily be disregarded by you. It was an all encompassing feeling for me, that felt so real, and i cannot grasp why i was feeling like that, shouting like i was.
Perhaps it is my knowingness of useless inappropriatness of unwanted baggage i tend to toss around, knowing it is always wrong…a temper tantrum of sorts.
ya…i need to relax…and will do so today…of easy listening music in the hot tub which sooths my soul, calming it to the level of grace with is true connectedness of the child of the womb within me.
no one knows how to cognitively relax better than me.
and as for the…oh let’s not go there.
ah…Valencia tonight.
bless you bless you bless you
God is with you.
I haven’t yet read all you lengthy replies, but I will. Sort of.
Is Madonna performing tonight? Good luck Madonna!! Turn the sound up!!!
Aw, just have a good show.
X
Help support Guy by voting for him in hello poll
xx
http://www.hellomagazine.com/vote/mostattractiveman/month/index.html?presentar=resultado
not with out all of YOU!
affect/effect…where ALL is connected, each second of each day, here in the kingdom of heaven all around us, where, at all times, only love is good enough for us ALL, of the very thing Jesus was trying so desperately for us to come into FULL KNOWINGNESS, that of his SELF is not different than that of SELF within us ALL
~ PURE TRUTH
I bet Madonna voted for Guy. 60 times.
Poor bloke was up against tough competition.
I’m sorry, but can you actually believe that several thousand people have actually bothered to vote in those polls?
ya, it is kinda silly isn’t it, the disconnect learned behaviours which do not embrace we are all the same inside.
the nescience which seperates us all from one another daily, not of pure of heart sincerity of the divine true self yet sadly unattended apathy, nunnurtured by loving conduct, unprotected by wisdom.
all common sense perspective for me, of every word one ever says, of my descerning wisdom of a world which continues to fuel the unwiseness of the hypocrisy heart, indeed, injury of their own precious loving souls.
ah, such a long way to go for the kingdom of heaven, and so easy for one to full from such great heights of God’s grace, if ever we step to far our of our halo of descerning wisdom.
is that what mean by ‘that’?
ya…we are like minded for sure.
bless you
to fall from grace, not full ^
i prefer openness of the halo of wisdom meant for all.
of God’s divine willingness for ALL.
God does not cast anyone out of heaven….he does not have to, as we OBVIOUSLY, do it all by our self.
truly, it is the real truth of God who is only loving, who is aware of the stumbling blocks of unwise teachings which yet plaque us all here in heaven as we slowly venture foward into our ONENESS loving feelings as equals, loving brothers and sisters of Jesus, of what Jesus asked us to turn our hearts to in his every word spoken with us….
LOVE
only love is good enough for Jesus. only love is good enough for you. only love is good enough for me. only love is good enough for ALL.
Power of Love of the ALL united in ONENESS pure and true of us, is the opening of the gate of heaven for ALL.
The gate is open everyone…always was.
Jesus said, “What you look for has already come, and is ‘that’ within us ALL…LOVE, COMPASSION, WISDOM.
we merely need turn towards it in our ever growing BEcoming conduct with one another.
it’s that simple everyone, yet an ever eluding halo for all to stand in because of the clashing of the negative and positive energies in the world (yet) unwise.
i am mere one who is here to assist in keeping us in remembrance of the focused direction Jesus speaks of, nothing more, nothing less, as great is the reward of our beautiful loving pure of heart joyful fun loving feelings, is it not?
ah, i can feel you all smiling, just as i do, and i am pleased in greeting all of you, a mere high school like all of us were, who somewhere on his path, stumbled apon a book, of Andy exclaiming, “Oh hey guys, what’s this? Looks like a puzzle of some kind. Let’s solve it shall WE?”
the mystery has been solved everyone, and the path is open, and indeed is of the very feelings you feel, thanks to Jerry C who unknowingly is ushering us into the kingdom of heaven, of the greatest passion i have ever felt in anyone!
i so want to meet Jerry C one day and hug him, telling him, “Jerry, it’s all your fault for why we all feel the way we do! How did you learn to play so well?”
Jerry says, “ah, i got tired of the girlfriend cursing me OUT all the time, and found more enjoyment with my own hands! It’s true!” lol
the never ending story of LOVE continues forever more.
opppss…sorry…wrong blog.
i will be staying the course from now on guys, no more silly emotional stuff from me, as i love everyone.
if someone wants to love me…well…let me know someday….as my door is always open to any who are of interest in my knowingness of how the world is, and how the world is going to BEcome, of my steadfast determination to not ever quit, knowing what i know.
it is not a light switch i can simply turn off, nor would i want to, as much as many yet attack my words of wisdom so easy even a child can understand…all words of Jesus and God forever more loving conduct of one united in oneness with Jesus and God forever more, my life freely surrendered to them, surrendered to all in doing so, but mostly, surrendered to the gift of my pure loving feelings i feel in each waking moment, where it became obvious to me what the greatest treasure mandkind shall ever discover yet burried(submerged)…
…the beautiful feelings of the divine true SELF within us ALL ever growing of the ONENESS of us ALL, of such explosive love, trust me, you ain’t nothing yet…
…i envision thousands of people of a most beautiful of blessed days, united in such overflowing abundance of exceeding joyfulness, it will leave one and all baffled in the exclaiming, “what just happened to me, i don’t feel anything but love in my heart for everyone i look apon, thinking to myself, why have i held on to any bitterness for another like i did?”
don’t thank me guys…give credit to where credit is deserving…Jesus Christ, more loving of us than we yet realize.
It’s about 100% PURE ONENESS in our SAMENESS of feelings, albeit, we are not all of the same level yet of comprehension and internal growth of our peaceful loving by nature self….where i am merely one who has run up ahead of you all to greet Jesus and God at the gate of heaven.
The gate of heaven is the opening of our soul which allows the flow of wisdom and loving feelings which nurture and protect the divine true self within us ALL.
And indeed, it is opening.
Eventually, the entire world will know and feel the pureness of Jesus and God’s only love for us all, however long it takes, how ever many generations it takes, as TRUTH is the no time constraint eternal realm, where indeed, God’s pure truth wisdom is eternal for all generations yet to come…
…for all eternity, ‘that’ of our knowingness so easy to embrace.
hey, do they have a word for a homosexual who is afraid of heterosecual sex?
oh…silly me…of course…heterophobia.
i have heterophobia…not sure why.
oh it’s just like the gay guys around me to say, “Oh, he’s a deviant heterosexual, a cursed soul, an evil one, you don’t want to near that one!”
lol
seriously…that’s what they say about me!
do they have any laws which protect a guy from the slurs of gay guys, calling him names and what not?
I would really like to see you again soon, but only if you feel want to see me too. xox
oohhh….i just realized somethng i said earlier about kicking some ass.
ohhhh…is it true?
well it’s about time, fuck. waited how long now?
(andy smirks of his certainty within, feelings of victory flooding the room, as reaches into his pocket for the lucky piece of satin fabric he has carried with him all these years, it has nothing to do with luck, but with how we feel…good…like the softness of satin against our skin)
Don’t bring Andy ha ha
ok, next stupid question.
Andy is the most radiant one anyone will ever see…trust me…you’ll see soon enough.
yer of course its true, i want to see you
i’m not so timid anymore
i think about how much you love me
every day
it lights a passion in my heart like i’ve never felt before
Marco played on my insecurities, and then like magic, he would rise above me, ebing and flowing, wonderful to watch and feel of his every word, delight in seeing him grow out of fear, just as we all have, yes?
and how do you suppose it is that we do?
someone holding our hand perhaps, for how long now?
thing with me, is i don’t like letting go of my feelings i have for you all.
do you remember the bonding feelings as a child with childhood friends?
same dynamic within us all as adult children of the light.
personally, i don’t enjoy the stuffy adult mentalities so cold like they can BE, or as in most cases, not BE their true self, sadly unattended, unnurtured, unprotected.
you not timid, hey look at me, how i fearless joke around with M.
to most everyone in the world, she is like some unapproachable soul.
not true.
quite the opposite, in her search of safe and supportive true loving friends of forever more feelings that we all subconsciously yearn for, that of the child within all adult children.
oh sure, i fall of the stage now and again, my own worse enemy of needs not being addressed, although being met, just not as well as one should.
i like this new found certainty that seems sincere, yet scares me deeply within…insecure, afraid, not sure why.
yes we must rid ourselves of all the mentalities we have collected through life as adults, and return to the pure state of feeling and realness and sincerity as that of as child
we are of kindered spirit.
likemindedness of friends like back in high school.
i know i am still emotional of the high school student, feeling like i did then.
i was somewhat of a loaner in high shcool, where i spent my free time practicing guitar, sometimes for 12 hours at a time, trying to perfect a piece.
My quest is not of the certainty of what Jesus asked us to reach for, for what ever reasons that existed then, the environment being the first, which he knew he could not get enough people to reach as high as we are reaching today.
Indeed, the world has matured in it’s approach with one another, of a growth which has been continuing since all the efforts of Jesus walking the earth when he did.
did you know the Catholic church has one billion followers?
well…without doubt, so does M.
not sure why i don’t feel any intimidation that reality in my ease of speaking candidly like i do, not really here to impress her, of the quest which i am yet probing.
It looks like exceeding joy is what Jesus was reaching for, unable to because of the current environment back then, likely alot like Iraq was.
‘that’ of a wise child, who is protective in setting boundaries, knowingness of the results of effective boundaries, as well as the indicative feelings which come from toxic boundaries.
I have my own detox issues, which i am not that worried about, knowingness of detox from detanglement from others, which i am currently experiencing yet.
yeah, i mean look how uptight people are from the world which controls by means of fear, all of survival mode in appearance…fascinating for me, and then all the boasftul masks the wear so arrogant some have become(what Jesus calls derrangement of the once precious loving soul).
indeed, people are their own worse enemies from what is the single greatest cause of why the world is yet as it is, ‘Crucial lacking of sincere desire for wisdom’.
meanwhile, their child within remains submerged and afraid, stiffled in many cases, which manifests itself in many alarming ways, however many years go by, the manifestations do surface and grow, until the child within is attended to, sadly too late for many.
i see costuming as the single greatest experiential experience both of the participants and those who watch of the delightfulness of the fearless child within set free to just BE what ever they want to BE, but BE FREE.
i see myself as fearless, and yet, i am afraid of the alarming behaviour of co-workers, who do not have the words safe and supportive, what with all their hypocrisy of a gay guy, and immaturity.
i don’t tolerate it, and have changed careers some 20 times now.
i don’t really blame them like i used to, and rather a new compassionate perspective is the way i view the world now, where it is hypocritical to say belittle a grade 10 math student for not understanding grade 12 math.
But associate with them….not!
seems sincere ?, is sincere ! ,
fear, insecurites afraid ? maybe because it is sincere a new feeling ? reallness ! not used to it ? unfamiliar ?
afraid of the unknown ? is that not what fear is ?
alright don’t go over board, contain the fear a little,
keep it in perspective
lol
keep it real
anyway, i just thought i would run the idea by you, where great success is possible for so many, and at such a low cost in doing so, and in truth, we may one day look back, and think to ourselves, why we did not do it sooner, having once experienced, oh say, 10,000 strong insane lunatics. lol
all in the bright sunshine, broadcast around the world in HDTV of everyone’s bewilderment, exclaiming, “what the fuck is wrong those who live in Toronto? Must be something in the water!”
~ the fountain of life giving life which flows forth radiant and bright.
i know it is my own kid inside which is yet in healing mode as we speak. But he is rejuvenated in spirit in my rest assuring him that no more corporate ladders for him, and his delight of knowing, that he is in charge from now on, a surrendering of sorts where i pay attention to the indicative emotions…overly sensitive lately though, i do realize, somewhat demanding of attention…or perhaps…relentless is a better word…although all good in the end with certainty of how life should be for us all, devoid of useless fearful conduct, making way for only love to remain.
there are many dynamics which contribute to fearful conduct, but none more than the reality check of unwiseness which is fixable.
even fear of acceptance is a silly fear, where in truth, why be afraid of those who are rejecting of you, when in truth, if they do, they are not someone who we should regard as necessarily appropriate for us as close friends, albeit, we all have our limit for inner cirlces in any given day or week.
aware, aware aware
i know i know i know
doin it doin it doin it
speeding up speeding up
faster progress
eveyday
oh
i need to take a break
just one day
today
because tomorrow never comes
just today
fear is a powerful dynamic.
deep seated sadness for example of the overwhelming experience of feeling deep seated sadness of issues, where manifestation of anger is fear based, where anger is a lesser overwhelming experience dynamically, ~ hence my learning of Matt not being someone who was sincere and genuine of approach with me, albeit, sincere and genuine of approach, a sincere connect of spirit like my own.
mirrored for sake of me.
thankful i might add, truly.
i was upset and hurt at first reaction, clearly revealing of the dynamic of fear based anger, yes?
i have slowed in my creation of colorful prints which are of sincere perspectives of life, something i am enjoying more than i first realized.
thinking, ya, a book of these kinds of prints is something truly worth while in creating, to leave for generations to come, pure loving moments captured in time.
ya, i know what you are saying Marco…the submerging that occurs of the ill at ease insecure child self, from needs not being met.
for me though, it is the delightful sensibility i have of M, where i merely want to be as real as i know she is inside, of our delight with one another which is sincere in feeling for us both.
i keep slipping up with her though, my own insecurities, nothing to do with her…frustrated rants and what not, all transference on my part from the detox i am going thru here…you have no idea how absurd i have been treated lately…unbelievably, hence my overreacting of late, and overly sensitive demanding.
i know my grounded self at ease well, of my most comfortable state, which i stay tuned into, calm, confident, easy going sincerely happy self.
welcome back..
lol
when you are far i am near
when i am near , kiss me
ha ha who said that !
yeah…hurry up and wait…just feel what you feel.
i do that alot. cognitive awareness at all times, emotion and sensitivity right there under the skin, close to the surface, like the gliding across a room sensation of delight within…oh yeah, i am fully awake to each passing moment, of what i love most about life actually, delight of interactions with others, my most cherished thing of all in life, without too much ego when ego gets in protective mode, instead of fun loving mode.
people are the way they are each day, according to how their entire life has been up to each day, reality check greeting them each day, of the manifestations of unresolved issues, wants and needs, boundaries, or in most cases, no boundaries, all greeting us each day we wake to, sadly the undeniable truth many remain in denial of their state of mental emotional well being.
i don’t like to see things run their course for others, statistically speaking.
thanks Marco.
oh, i don’t know, some girl dressed like a guy?
lol
i feel my biggest issue is unrealistic expectations of others, and letting go completely of any demanding behaviour as it is fear based.
i don’t ever want to do that, although my kid inside may have differing of opinion, and often does from time to time, his own insecurities of acceptance, impatience, all unrealistic expectation and consideration psychologically of others.
yeah, i am all that.
my real focus in life has been the quest i have been delving into about the adult child Jesus, who for me is not the one speaking or the one on the cross i look apon, rather the adult child Jesus alone in the desert like he did, at total ease with himself, of the natural boundaries he unknowingly set for himself in coming away from the world like he did, returning to them saying those very word to them all, “Come away from the world(which we know today as toxic for the adult child).
What else did he say, oh yeah, “Don’t gather in prayer like you do in groups, rather come alone in approach before God, of your higher sincerity level which is pure of heart and true for you.
these words are 100% of the experiential experience of Jesus in the desert…alone.
one thing i have learned of great amounts of time spent in my own deliberate approach of experiential experiences like that of Jesus’s deliberateness, is the sincerity is key to opening of the soul to fearless feel and BE open to each passing moment. It is where i learn in my observations of others, of my preferred state of BEing actually, totally at ease, so relaxed in state, of a truly delicate sensation of each passing moment.
There is an awareness of time dimension that opens as well in this state, of reflections which see a sorta matrix connectivity of evreryone all around us, where we are all of the affect/effect results of every day previous in life, and where the connectivity is what is of the everyone in all they say and do, where we really do flow thru one another.
This matrix can be nurtured by our deliberateness of BEcoming conduct, and profoundly i might add.
Jesus stepped fully into his preferred state of graceful by nature loving self, all from his deliberate approach of experiential experience in the desert alone with God.
As for the opening of the channel to God’s spirit, it is not as easy as merely applying oneself in an attempt to do so.
Some may refer to it as a figment of imagination, for those of not of the research i am yet probing. Yeah, sure, Andy is a lunatic. I have no concern whatsoever of defending myself from those not of the same desire of research i engage in, uninterested actually in what their shallowness of heart words my spu forth like they do…like a med student, “Oh, let’s categorize this one, shall we?” ~ limited thinkers, who are not of research desire, just doing their job so to speak.
Of the biggest thing i can say about God, is the sincerity state experience which is of no time constraint dimension in outward appearance of the depth of inner sincerity of compassion understanding of the growth curve we all are on, of deliberate nurturing approach of another, such as the gentle grace with another which is affect/effect direct/indirect of another and all the ones they know, of subconscious awareness results often being the case.
Yeah, the entertainment industry is a significant role when it comes to God, and in truth, is of God for those of God’s wisdom, where sincerity is the most significant aspect of God and of us all.
For me, what is nice, is how we are all becoming alike in feeling and approach, where my observations of oneness has seen a healthy increase over the years, of real sensibility we all feel at a deeper level of sincerity we feel, good for us all psychologically speaking, less defensive, less fearful, more relaxed, more open, more room for love to take root, less desire for mean spiritedness, all happier more often during our day.
ooppps…rattling on and on again on someone else’s blog.
is that unethical?
i am socially inept, in case anyone was wondering.
the greatest feeling of all in life, is knowing you love someone who you sense loves you as much as you do them.
and kissing too, seriously kissing is the best
& by kissing i mean sensual lip to lip ,maybe a tongue too, not kissing ass lol
just needed to clarify that one for Andrew Thomas
You can kiss me wherever you like!!
I’ve been kicking management company ass for the last two days. Absolute bunch of idiots. Dreadful company. Really, really grim. Won’t get back to me or my solictor via telephone. Two months waiting for a single document.
As I say, any help really appreciated. “Don’t let them get away with it”!
Anyway, at least it’s a nice day.
But, no, no kissing on bottoms. You’re right.
Marco played on my insecurities,
yes i do because i love you and want the best for & from you !
that’s what love is about !!!!!!
Intent !
& my intent is pure, real & true
anything else in between is a lesson
too be learn’t
anything outside that… is a bonus
WHY
because
I love you
like i Love All that is
including you & me
I do not see the need to prove to someone how much i Love them when i already know how much they love ,me
to me it’s just something to be accepted
with Grace
Gratitude
& Honour
to you it may seem
egotistical, selfish unwarrented
BUT TO OTHER”S
it may seem
“Inspirational. Guiding & Achievable”
remember THAT
Some people don’t realize the significance of their job as relates to God’s work, like the disconnected uninspired who may not fully embrace the level of the compassion driven one’s who hold it all together at the pure of heart level.
While it is not necessary that they embrace God’s work, it is sad that they may not be of the level of comprehension.
As Jesus says, many there are who unknowingly serve God, which goes for all those who are not of the descerning wisdom halo of comprehension, who at times can be annoying for us, yet necessary, where in time, eventually we all feel the oneness that we are, the calming of the spirit, the level of awareness we stand in, where we are the passersby in the lives of so many, from the view point of our sanctuary of descerning comprehension.
I keep my focus on the truth, that there is always someone out there who may be gripped by darkness around them, where for me, it is merely that of one soul which is of my driving determination, empowerment, motivation, and steadfast stick-to-it-tiveness, which does not wish to see them fall, in our knowingness that many do fall each day that passes.
The world is one where all is connected, where we know the reality check as enlightened ones who embrace fully the truth of this, the affect/effect direct/indirect flow of light thru the matrix of life, in our deliberateness of maintaining the flow of life giving life waters of living light into the matrix(sorry, only word i think works best to discribe connectedness of the ALL).
For me, it is always for sake of the ONE out there first, of the same ONE i once was of dark passage in life.
Secondly, it is of the nurturing of the Power of the Love of the ALL, who are uniting in the ONEness feelings as One powerful force of positive energy, all of which is required in changing the world, ALL for sake of the ONE.
ya, we are likeminded in our intent, as enlightened ones who serve God.
all for sake of the ONE, which in truth, is the ONE within us all, is it not?
life is a reflection
of the
SELF
thank’s Andy
i knew
I you would understand
i you
get it !!!
lol
connected
For me, the one most loving, is the one i came out into the desert looking for, finding him there alone, of his silent pure of heart loving reflection of his pure of heart loving feelings he feels flow endlessly, in his knowingness of what he feels is true of everyone, wishing they too all felt what it is he feels like he does.
I see Jesus there alone in the desert in his state of grace which surrounds him, as though waiting for me as in my BEcoming the level of grace which he is in my slow approach with him, not wishing him to feel anything but the love we feel for one another, true of us both, of his knowingness in his watching me approach, not ever looking away, the BEcoming he already is, of which i am yet BEcoming, of my knowingness sincere and true of my own grace like his own, like my own…
~ Ominpotent sameness approach is of the gate of heaven opening like it is.
ya, this is true of everyone, is it not.
the KNOWINGNESS is the Power of God connection.
I am still wrapping my head around God speaking with me, and don’t wish to delve to deep in discussion about it at this time, but he is there, and yes, God is with us.
Something tells me you know too that God is with us.
My approach with you is of the sincerity level of God, focused in purity of love for sake of the One within us all.
Keep in mind, that we are of the no time constraint knowingness of the slow growth process for ALL.
It is where we dwell in our likemindedness, yes?
for me is the the same “omnipresent”
all that is !
“everywhere all at the same time”
“Love” – some would call it
ok off now i am too be toxic and naughty
well
untill the wife comes to kick my ass
i can do as i please
yer
would’nt you ?
life too short to be restrained
and the wife’s on her way
so may as well have some fun b4
it’s too late
LOL
yes…life is a reflection of the self of everyone….the matrix that connects us all in all we say or do, each and every second of every day.
i am merely one who stands outside the matrix in the no time contraint comprehension of one who choses to maintain the life giving life flow of loving light into the matrix.
‘that’ is what enlightened ones are…all knowing in comprehension, not for sake of anything other than maintaining the flow of life giving life waters of living light into the matrix.
It does not matter if others chose a destiny like we do, for that is a matter of their own time of those who may become aware of the enlightened ones who walk among us, in their slowing and curiousity of just who are these ones who dwell among us, not wishing to be revealed?
Some do and many will take up their destiny of likemindedness like we are, praying they do, yet fully of the knowingness of how long it took us to arrive at our level of the knowingness comprehension halos we stand in.
lier
i can see right through you !!
i’ll enjoy my freedom
B4
it’s
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
LATE
for me, in approaching Jesus in the desert there alone, of his knowing i am there with him, feeling the same thing he feels, the pure love devoid of doubt forever more true and faithful friendship with him, is actually of the same approach of me with my SELF, the SELF of Jesus, and the SELF of us all.
this is what the pure knowingness HALO is, which is of the no time constraint sincerity level of likemindedness wisdom.
It is the purity of the knowingness HALO which is most significant of all things in life for me, because of the 100% purity of love that flows forth from it, where it is not just wordiness of my use of words like FOREVER MORE, of say a poet wishing to inspire, rather it is of the eternal spirit realm of FOREVER MORE which is free of the elements of doubt and all the useless things of unBEcoming conduct like that of the world.
It is 100% pure forever more, of no egotism whatsoever.
Jesus came to knowingness of the 100% pure knowingness level of comprehension, and he stepped into it full and BEcame pure truth in his BEcoming conduct.
He must of spent along time alone to acheive this, where i am not able to as yet, and yet, i know what he stepped into and BEcame, if that makes any sense.
ok, i would like to say, i have been stepping into the 100% purity level of sincerity over the past year, and i like how it feels there, where many things open to me, and i am continuing in my study of it, taking notes.
All fascination curiousity for me guys, in wanting to know Jesus, no different in our desire in fully knowing our SELF, is it not?
The no time constraint forever more feelings of what i see as the eternal realm likemindedness they speak of about invisible eternal realm spirits. There is something there, an invisible realm, which is of great curiosity for me, nothing more.
i am not here to way any flags, althought i do love waving flags, rather it’s just Andy who became intrigued by the words in the Nag Hammadi.
I will say this though, God did speak to me in away that is much like the art piece i did of the divine true self.
The connection with God, is of a feeling of someone who is not of ever turning away from you, and feels like the best friend one could ever make in life. There is an approach feeling with God which seems of the knowingness of what i will do next, where each and every time, it is me growing away from the world into the knowingness of the one who is there. I have not made alot of notes as yet, but there is something there, an eternal spirit realm i do believe exists.
huh?
ya, of course my love is pure and true.
i think i am looking mostly for one who is most safe and supportive of me….is that one you?
feels like it, in our friendship which is drawing us toward one another.
oh, i don’t want to lose this feeling, not ever.
and so i will commit myself to being of graceful approach in not turning away from you, which i think i have proven thus far yes, still here waiting for you?
does that help?
i am in no hurry, were time really is not of constraint for me, and rather is of those who aimless toss attitude around, is it not? Not of the pure of heart determination to hold on to best friends like we do.
so ya, looks like ya stuck with me, it that’s ok with you, my life surrendered to the forever more friendship of the ALL, just as Jesus did.
i really have surrendered to the level i speak of our friendship with Jesus, our friendship with the ALL, of our comprehension of the ONE within the ALL which we nurture for sake of the Power of Love of the ALL which lifts the entire world up out of darkness.
does that help you understand me(us) better?
seems we are not so different at all, are we?
as though it is you typing these words, yes?
love it.
we keep rising. feels good yes?
too late is of the time contraint mentalities of the world in all it’s controling expectations of each other and another.
again, i am of the no time constraint realm of the ever nurturing of the matrix which connects us all, of my knowingness of the future world…which is….the ever growing into the ONENESS of the Power of the Love of the ALL.
It is for sake of the ONE yet in darkness, that of my pure empowerment for sake of them, for sake of those like them, for sake of us all, for sake of me one day to be found of the ONE like me, who does see(feel) me as one most loving of them utterly and completely of the love devoid of doubt pure feelings which surrounds us, of no desire to ever feel anything but the love we have for one another, ever of our pure of heart feelings which love one another….without doubt.
Useless doubt, fear based, is of the immature world.
I know who i am, of my own pure of heart feelings which can only BE loving of the one who loves me like i do them…but the world keeps distracting us both from our ONENESS pure of heart feelings, ever present the immaturity yet of the world, yes?
That is the great difficulty for one who has become truly enlightened in BEcoming of the pure love devoid of doubt which Jesus is forever more, sadly, one who was of the feelings of being alone in his knowingness he not only knew of himself, but true of us all, sad that others did not turn towards that within them which he came to know of himself, to always be of the tender loving feelings he felt for another which he could not be anything other than the sincere loving feelings is was for everyone, of no desire to BE anything but love in all his words of what he BEcame outward of what he was feeling within at all times, ever of his days of reflection and feeling of the loving compassionate wisdom while alone in the desert, indeed, a wise adult child.
truly the uselessness of negative conduct which betrays the ONE in darkness is indeed cause for alarm for the one gripped by the darkness of the unloving ones around them, yes?
And what happens to the ONE in darkness eventually if the ones of wisdom do not arrive in time?
we know….statistically….we KNOW.
so don’t ever be of forgetfulness of the ONE in darkness who awaits for us to take hold of their hand and say, “hey you, don’t be of you sad feelings any longer that others cause you to feel, for they are unwise in their unloving of YOU, the one we love, who are just like you. Come and dwell among our loving extended family forever more of our love for one another, where you will be surrounded by our love for each other forever more.”
I come for the ones who are yet in darkness, each and every ONE of them.
We come for the ones who are yet in darkness, each and every ONE of them.
until the day, we are all of the ONENESS loving pure feelings of love devoid of the motherfucking useless darkness. lol
any more questions?
you need not ever wonder if my(our) love is true then, yes?
i am not here to constrain, rather i am here to free, am i not?
why would i want to constrain someone into loving me, when i already know our love is true?
i mean, ya sure, if you want more of what i am, then let me some day, for my love does not change.
i am not about today, tommorrow or a particular day.
i am of all the blessed days which remain of my life, all of the ONENESS in each step, each breath, each heart beat of my loving feelings for all of each blessed day i wake to.
do you know who i am?
am i not like ‘that’ of you, ‘that’ of true love of us all?
anyway guys, leave a message and i WILL get back to you, not that i am anything other than where i am easily found….always ‘that’ of you.
i ask, “why would i want to feel any other way than the way we all feel, loving of one another?
doubt does not dwell with me, as i cast it out of my precious loving soul some time ago, last decade actually, seeing and feeling all the doubtfulness so many were back then, the way they treated us, calling us sinners and what ever bullshit fucked up unknowingness they felt like thowing apon us, toxic for Troy and i who killed himself as a result of the fucking unloving bullshit way they treated him and i so openly in front of the congregation of the church.
Well, i set my self on the path to build the biggest motherfucking church this world has ever seen, and indeed, my church steeple is the tallest in the world(cnn tower) all lit up with the bisexual colors…cool eh?
So if you wonder if my love is true, well, i can’t help you decide if it is, or it is not, other than the words which may reveal who i am…true love of us all, are we not?
we know.
on we go.
bless you
i am not angry, rather i am hurt, each time i feel the contempt for me, i feel of others each day in my journey, of those who do not yet know me(us).
what keeps me going, is the increasing numbers and strength of our ONENESS love of the extended family we are a part of.
so yeah, either get and stay with me, or don’t.
i know i WILL always BE as i am, purely of my loving feelings for all, in our efforts to one day feel the exceeding joy which is yet growing of how the future world feels.
so where is Andy?
and where has Andy always been in his heart?
standing in the future, of a very long and difficult road he has journeyed, never letting go of his prayers for us all, of his knowingness within him, within us all.
i do pray one day we shall meet, and end this silliness which has been between us, for it is our love which is the bridge for us to easily walk across, if only we would one day, i pray.
i cannot usher the kingdom of heaven in alone guys, it is of the Power of the Love of the ALL that rises us ALL up into the kingdom of heaven, of the exceeding radiant and bright light which pushes out all the negative darkness in the world.
Delay if you will, but know that it is of heart ache that you do.
for i know how much i love you all.
why be of the fearfulness of the world. fuck that. bin there a few times. So isolating they were to Troy and i.
i can’t believe how cold they were to us.
i left the church behind, went down to the waters edge where i liked to be alone many days, and i recall the day Troy came down to the water’s edge after i had left the church, where he asked me to baptism him in the river. Beautiful sunny day, he disrobed, where i baptised him in the name of Jesus.
you have no idea how harshly they treated us.
we know.
on we go.
i just want to be happy, nothing else but happiness.
with those as of the happiness we feel for one another.
damn world is so stiffling, is it not?
for so many of us.
new art peice of the ONE in darkness i am yet working on.
i am taking my time with this one, depicting of the naysayers(darkness) surrounding the ONE, in their pointing of fingers, mockery, cajoling, bitterness, of the harsh feelings of the one isolated in the middle, afraid…a powerful peice that is revealing of how the world yet treats the ONE in us all.
we know
on we go
bless you
i want to express all of it that i feel, not just of happiness(the end goal of our continued efforts in pushing forward like we do), but also of our empowerment in doing so, of the ONE we look apon, that of myself long ago, that of ONE who i know they yet treat as they did/do me(us) to this day.
oh yeah, a mighty fearless warrior of God…i am.
~ a truth revealer, like the one they speak of in the book of revelation…i am.
i am…BE cause…WE ARE…truth revealers…always of God’s divine will for sake of the ONE held in darkness of the yet unwise ignorant unloving bitter apathetic world.
and i(we) am coming for ALL of YOU.
so let it be know, there is one motherfucking pissed off dude walkning among us, and his name is Andy.
it’s never to late to hug Andy….
until his last day, it is of his prayers, that you do.
and indeed, you do.
thank you.
bless you
(something to share with all of you)
I recall the Hillary Swank moment, a beautiful day, the minister of the church coming over to my house alone where i stood outside the house beside his car, his asking me to come back to the church.
I was so livid with him that day, an all encompassing deep feeling in his betrayal of Troy and i in front of the congregation, of Troy’s family in attendance, who all knew i was secretly having sex with their son Troy, threatening me all the while if they ever found out it was true, terrified me, yet i stood in solidness of my love between Troy and i that we had for the years we were together.
It was near the end, a few month’s before Troy’s suicide.
I stood there and said to the minister face, “I will build the biggest church this world has ever seen one day!”
as i stood there not moving, as he backed off and got back in his car and drove off.
ah fuck.
every day that has passed sinced has been of that day in each step, each heart beat, each breath, of the internalizing truth from Troy’s suicide that is of my depth of soul, always there with me each day, where i will always BE in memory of us, and what they did to us…unknowingly unwise betrayal.
i am not so much angry as i was, rather i am more of the compassionate pushing forward in connecting with the happiness of the one in darkness, of knowingness of loving feelings they are, like my own, in freeing their precious loving soul from darkness, of my(our) sincere love for them all.
ah fuck. i have get this out, express it once and for all.
and i am doing just that, am i not…and it is the light, is it not?
pureness of TRUTH…i am of ‘that’.
i am…BE cause…WE ARE….pureness of ‘that’ which is TRUTH
Habla espanol?
Hey you guys, i find it funny this site, as it says i would never sing ‘Spanish lesson’ on my tour as i hate it ..???? As I’m just leaving Spain and so far i still love it , this site is questionable?? don’t you think?? But seriously as I’m in Alicante airport waiting for my flight , thought i would check in and say hi… i feel fantastic ..i love the crowds ..i love my husband..i love you!!!
Bonjour Paris xXx
P.S …ARE YOU MILES AWAY? # WINK WINK #
P.S are you Miles away?? # wink #
i’ve never really shared that with many to any great extent of someone who wanted to know me like you do.
perhaps i feel it is something i want the whole world to know about me, in my approach with you, a good place to leave the life story of Andy, for all the world to one day see i suppose.
We know the approach of radiant bright exceeding joyfulness unattended, unnurtured and unprotected within the ONE in darkness, submerged and afraid from the absurd external fear around them, many of which are sadly unknowing of the wisdom of homophobia reality check(about as sad as it gets), where it is our approach which shines so brightly and radiant, it rushes in to precious loving heart and soul, of the ONE who is there, thru the useless fear, dispelling of the useless fear in doing so, resonating with the pure of heart love we know of the ONE who is there.
‘that’ is the mission of God we embrace FULLY forever more, of no time constraint, in our full knowingness, there will always be ONE who is there in darkness.
bless you
you need not every wonder about Andy’s heart.
i WILL always BE there, as ONE who of ONE who is there…the meYOU, YOUme of us ALL.
bless you
keep on…keeping it together…knowing i am not going anywhere other than where i am always found.
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here among you all forever more, till my last blessed day of ONENESS we share.
pure TRUTH of God’s divine WILL of our WILLINGNESS.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
bless you
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bless you bless you bless you
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That’s very profound Andy…hope you feel the same way about the planet?? your voice needs to be heard ..keep on singing xXx
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come on, let’s do this ONENESS together one day.
i know i WILL BE always BE there, as ONE like YOU who sincerely cares, who i know is there too.
let’s take each other’s hand and kick some ass, shall we.
ohhhh….what fun we will BE, yes?
damn straight! lol
(teasing you again like you do me
so enough of these things which seperate us from what yearn to BE, always of the pure love for ONE another, forever free to just BE, of the ever yearning to always BE….there.
we care.
we know.
on we go
bless you all
i await your reply, yet i already know how you feel.
if not, it’s ok, as i know how both feel.
You have your commitments, i have mine…no biggy…just expressing myself that’s all, like we do, and have done for years now.
i love you
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now stop crying damn it, you ruining my satin outfit!
lol
Jesus loves us ALL.
bless you
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ahhhh…a new level of awareness. love it.
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let go of the past and grab hold of the future where i am standing in the beautiful sunshine forever more, peaceful and at rest of no time contraint along side my loving brothers and sisters forever more, till my last day with you all.
enjoy the blessed day everyone, each and every single day.
what is it now…12,975 blessed days to go…of God’s WILLINGNESS for us ALL, of the pure of heart ONENESS of the Power of LOVE of the ALL.
thank you God. thank you Jesus. thank you to all who turn towards their pure of heart blessed loving feelings like ‘that’ of my(our) own within us ALL.
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(andy steps away from his PC over to his sewing machine, diligently at work in the sewing of the 100 outfits of satin, of each stitch he knows is of God’s work forever more)
i am miles away when you are near
i am near when you are miles away
so where are we anyway?
forever more
you need not ever question why.
we know
on we go
thank you
i am always with you in our pureness of love for each other…for ALL….forever more.
we are just scratching the surface of the future world that is within our grasp. It merely took ridding ourselves of the fear between us, of my own fear in expressing what needed to be felt and spoken, in your embrace of getting to know me, one who has always loved you, always will…
always
forever more
it’s like i can BE anything else other than what we feel.
so yeah, welcome to my heart that loves the YOUme, meYOU of us all forever more.
damn…i really am fearless, yes?
(crowd shouts out in together as Andy stands apon the stage…waiting for them to say it, as the shout it OUT loud.)
i AM…BE cause…WE ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FEARLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whew….that took some doing….can we go for lunch now?
i need a shower…i have to appear in court for trumped up charges..don’t ask…the outcome according to my lawyer is good…never been charged with anything before.
an emotional storm me of late, yet look at what has come of the emotional storm i have been going thru…pure white radiant bright light from the darkness i stand of late.
i am not stable, faulting somedays, crushed inside and exceedingly toxic, yet knowingness of memory…i have gone thru far worse in the past.
God bless you Troy.
candy girl who are you in real?
yes of course, i am of the probing of all truth revealing of all things of the world…trust me…i am no wherer finished exporing the truth of all things.
the world is not ready for what we have to say.
but they are going to hear(feel) it, if they like it or not.
and we WILL be always in their face of what we know of us ALL…in a good way, pushing out of darkness of radiant pure white light of our pure of heart love which connects us ALL, subconsciously for many, cognitive for some, all of the affect/effect direct/indirect flow of life giving life water of the water of eternal life forever more, for all generations yet to come to look back apon and reflect apon the enlightened ones of today, ever radiant and bright for all eternity to feel, just as we feel for the ONE called Jesus who was and is forever more the most evolved adult child to ever walk the earth, which i am still exploring of the depth of his soul, of my own soul in doing so, of ALL souls of the earth, probing of the TRUTH which does not fail.
~ Eternal Truth Wisdom
common sense really, not that difficult to understand, if only more would, and WILL.
‘that’ is up to Candy girl to reveal.
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i am her true and faithful friend till the end
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candy girl you are a spanish
so habla español
ya, i get it.
thank you
let’s go kick this world’s ass, shall we?
take a camera crew ever step we take.
¿listo?
ah joda. no puedo mi esmalte para uñas. yo segundo.
okey. encontrado ello. el derecho donde siempre era.
¡siempre SERÁ!
de que somos. niños de la luz de Dios.
¡Hola! ¡Hola! ¡Hola!
¡Dios te bendiga!
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oh oh!
here they come, 1, 000 strong and more!
(someone in the crowd says, “what’s going on? who are these people? Oh, this is truly the most breath taking thing i have ever felt! ~ everyone smiling radiant and bright of the ONENESS love within us ALL)
opppsss…candy boy is andy? lol
always was.
always will BE
always.
forever more
blessings to all this blessed day forever more!
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blessed ALL…forever more.
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(exceeding joy was felt by all in the decades that followed, of no quite sure who was behind it, of one they never met or knew, yet they knew it was one just like them all. Year after year their love grew stronger in strength and numbers, of the united pure of heart oneness of the Power of the Love of the ALL, as they all became restored in what MATTers most in life, the hidden treasure now found, free of absurd fear like the centuries before, of what they all feel for one another, God’s love for us all to BE loving of one another forever more, in their knowingness of love for ALL, for all eternity to know the truth…we are loving. i am…BE CAUSE…WE ARE!)
ONE
the never ending story of LOVE, Loves.
OHHHHHHHHH my god u fools Candy girl that’s Madonna she says Habla espanol? …before spanish lesson on tour !!
looks good on the banks and all involved in their over speculation of markets, such as housing(remember people, it is the banks money 90% behind most real estate), who are crying now, because of the fall from their over speculation in the first place.
i pray it collapses into the ground for them all, if you must know, such heartless idiots apon the earth in the eyes of God, of so many suffering in need of food to eat.
a heartless uncaring world of morons.
ah, poor babies have to sell the BMWs because they lost their jobs.
rant over.
To whom it may concern: Madonna soy un fan tuyo desde que empezaste tu carrera. El 16 de septiembre estuve en el concierto que distes en Sevilla y aunque me gusto mucho, sali un poco decepcionado. Creo que hubo un problema de comunicacion con el publico, que no entendia muchas cosas que les decias en ingles. Sabiendo que te gusta mucho todo lo hispano, tienes canciones como la isla bonita o spanish lesson y hasta una hija medio cubana, lo minimo que podias hacer es aprenderte unas 4 frases en español, para asi ganarte al publico. Bueno seguire siendo un superfan tuyo, pero please ve a que te den unas cuantas spanish lesson y asi tus espectaculos en españa seran perfectos.
P.d.: Perdon que escriba en español, pero seguro que tienes a alguien que te lo pueda traducir. Un beso. Manuel.
John, no, Madonna doesn’t post here. For fifteen years I thought she did!! But, no, it’s just a load of fakers here. Fakers including bloody Avril Lavigne(who I think is both Andy and Marco) and bloody Shakira (who is Candy Boy, I suspect, but I’m not sure). Jennifer Lopez got banned for starting stupid polls all the time.
We also had Gwen Stefani on here for a while posting spam links to the No Doubt blog trying to increase the Google ranking.
But, to the best of my knowledge, Madonna has never posted here. In fact, she is one of the very few major international female pop stars who has NEVER posted here.
No one here tonight.
I’m drinking a beer while dancing to Bimbo Jones remix of Britney “Piece of Me”. Well brilliant!
gimme all of your lovin!
but are you gettin it?
you got!
you know YOU got it!
but are you gettin it?
gimme all of your lovin!
i never want it to stop!
love it!
easy to sing and play on guitar too!
a sing along! yeah?
picture it…a Sonny and Cher moment, yet to happen!
ah fuck, ok, i admit….i love more than i want to admit.
Fack you Andrew, I never posted those polls. Someone faked my nickname.
J-Lo’s back. I have notified the site admin.
nope…but i was out listen to Avril earlier…trying to cope best i can…i am not doing very well….breaking down daily now.
i might check into a hospital…afraid i might hurt myself.
sorry…im really fuck up…ruminating is getting worse…i gotta take a break…i need of suppportive friends…only strangers in my…no close friends.
bailif ask me to call the number she gave me for a therapist.
i will follow thru…i have to, or i may not make it thru.
sorry…just being totally honest right now.
i has nothing to do with you…it’s my delving into the past which nearly destroy me then.
i have break, and i am breaking…healthy i know…need to heal it some more….little by little…one day at a time.
sometimes i will round a building and just sit on the ground where no one can see me crying.
sunglasses help in my sparactic moments of not being able to hold back my tears which flow like a fountain somedays.
i run away from it, but it seemingly won’t let me.
stopped fighting for awhile now…months ago…just feeling it all over again, that’s all, and sharing it with the world, leave something for all to ponder what happened to Andy long ago…still haunting him today.
purity of love in my thoughts of still holding Troy’s hand is what it is for me.
Try this site: http://www.nodoubt.com/journal/
stop…please stop…i can’t the bullshit ok?
i have to go.
i have to stop thinking about it for abit, that’s all.
im so screwed up, i can’t look at anything…way way way oversensitive right now, even of the way people look at me while out walking.
i need my peaceful sanctuary to hid for abit…no tv, no music, i need to calm down.
Am I still in No Doubt or did I quit? I can’t remember.
it’s like the film The Fisher King for me somedays, frightened, running away, calm other days.
ya…it is always about the doubtfulness of others, their projections(unknowingly).
**Burp**
so yeah…i don’t to do this spinning around any more…wondering if you care.
it’s not you…it’s me.
oh, very funny…fuck…im talking serious, and she’s belching.
actually…i needed that.
ah fuck…love…makes us crazy and insecure.
i need to go break something.
I’m sorry. I have trapped wind.
i remember flipping out over Troy one time.
i broke all the windows in the house, and all the furniture, even the doors.
can you believe that?
spent the night in jail for it…detox…alcohol and me don’t get along, hence my 14 years clean and sober.
for sure, it would destroy me if i ever entertain the idea of going back to my old ways.
According to Wikipedia I am still in No Doubt. I thought so.
nah…it’s not you…it’s me…don’t apologize.
Does Madonna post here?
No, Gwen. Though I’m sure she checks back here sometimes.
yeah…good point…it’s about my doubt.
why am i so doubtful?
with or without you, i can keep doing what i do, pushing myself like i do.
i have learned it is better when surrounded by those in particiaption of the same objective, of steadfast determination in creation of the outfits for example.
that’s all i want to do, if you must know…is sew the costumes all day long.
DIdn’t I look sexy in that “It’s My Life” video!!!
heaven for me…a loving peaceful sanctuary with easy listening music.
ok…next stupid question.
Oops … Gwen, stop faking my nickname!!!!
I thought you looked like bloody Madonna, actually, Gwen.
I’ve had a bloody awful stressful week. I miss not having a holiday this year.
set your boundaries…adjust them accordingly…including the ones for me.
anything you want to tell me would be appreciated.
I feel run-down and low.
it’s the running from the world…i know.
i am out in a desert.
i left the world behind, no desire to return…not for awhile at least.
that’s how it feels for me.
I think I’ve got a bug, but the stress from this blinking solicitor thing is too much.
it’s a calming sensation, of utter gracefulness which surrounds me, at ease, unafraid.
i turn and look sideways, and…you are still walking beside me.
i say to you, “look how far we have come all these years, all this way. Do you feel what i feel? Tell me you do.”
I’m not going to be late. I’m done in. Sorry I’m a bit off tonight.
silicitor?
surely i am not a silicitor when it comes to God’s work?
I’ve never even met you. Something went seriously wrong down the line somewhere.
i am merely expressing myself with you, as a friend.
Honestly, trying to sell a house is just too much grief. Anyway, you don’t want to hear my problems.
for me?
or for you?
or for us both?
scrape that…what about now?
i approach as a true and faithful friend till the end.
of what i shall always remain for ALL.
Is Madonna in Paris? I love Paris.
i am being too open too.
and will stop for now.
i respect you. even while i have been too open, and the timing of it all…well…i wanted to share my life experience, and i have done that so far.
it is you getting to know me better, feelings you wanted to.
You said: ““look how far we have come all these years, all this way.”
My situation has gone absolutely nowhere!!! After 10-15 years of being royally shafted, absolutely nowhere.
I am absolutely slap bang in the same position I have always been.
One day I’ll get an enormous fuck-off gun and go on the rampage. Settle a few debts.
ya…it’s like that….i know.
Sick of being treated like a second-class citizen.
lol
nah, i don’t care about the motherfucker world and how it wishes to poison my soul.
i will kill myself first before ever hurting another.
i am really tired of the uncaring world, wishing to leave it.
i am no were near comparison of any citizen, seeing my self standing with Jesus in the desert.
honestly, i have no concern at all for how anyone will ever treat me.
i am beyond their comprehension of the unwise bitter snares which i see snaring their souls.
Well I’m tired too. I hope you don’t mind me cutting off the conversation but I am stressed and tired and I REALLY need to get sleep or tomorrow I am just more stressed and more tired. I would love to talk some more.
NIght night
X
so you need not ever worry about me, other than my own suicide….just tired of it all, that’s all….sickening for me.
i think that’s why Jesus let them kill him…he wanted to die, because of their many illnesses of heart which sickened him, feeling of their doubtfulness and impure thought.
I might have another look at that Gwen Stefani video, check out how much she looks like Madonna.
nah…i am way to open…this is way off the scale for me in being so open in such a public place…where in truth..,i obviously don’t give care what anyone thinks or says from this day forward.
actually, i have felt this way for years.
it’s me…nothing to do with anyone.
What a woman!
Is Madonna.
X
it’s what happens when i followed Jesus into the desert with him like he did, the BEcoming of wisdom which seperates all unBEcoming conduct from BEcoming conduct of Jesus.
i found myself isolated in my halo for many years, wise in the snares of the illnesses of heart which snare nearly every soul.
chillax?
nah, i am the one who is calm, not others.
think about…who am i standing next to?
Jesus.
people annoy me.
saw someone meditating out in public today. very cool. i went over and sat beside him and quitely spoke with him like i had always known him…
i could tell he does like i do, sitting in the calm santuary of his mind, peaceful at ease, listening and descerning the world all around him.
he was shocked by my words so pleasant and informative of his own self which is no different than me, calm at ease words of pleasant reflection of knowingness, my enthusiasm like his own, of his inner child yet afraid, calming him even more as he smiled.
duh!
ya, i know ‘that’!
always did.
OOOXXX
hmmmmm….
well….in seeing how far we have journeyed, i am commiting myself to a life time true and faithful friend to all…till the end.
done.
now where did i put the purple thread….
come to think of it, i commited myself along time ago, unknowingly i suppose, it was just how i felt when i woke up in the hospital after my ……………
something changed….i had left and came back.
they could all see it in me. I remember them looking at me, how calm i was, my grace.
yah, something happened to Andy in coming back, after he made the decision to leave…and did leave….note and all, which my therapist still has in his possession.
my best friend in life he was…still is…always will be….the years he let me chat about whatever i was feeling.
which is what i am doing here i suppose…no care at all of what any of you think of me.
however; this may be toxic material for others to read, and should be deleted…professional perspective.
print it if you want…but please delete it if that is the correct thing to do.
it’s just way to deep for others, a trigger….
ask them.
not that many would actually read all this stuff, but you never know.
did you know just the word suicide in public television(news for example) is a trigger, according to case study incidents which indicate the timing of such events of the pyschological probing after the fact, of the indicative numbers which appeared like a anomoly?
yep.
delete it.
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many may think Andy is psycotic.
Andy is not psycotic.
And sent Madonna, the Nag Hammadi Library in 1995, along with a few words of psychological view points, and book titles, of Dr.Charles Whitfield.
Since then, we have watched each grow as individuals.
Than may help some of you better understand our depth of friendship all this time, tangible, not psycotic.
real life impactful events for me, and the healing journey since the time Troy walked the earth along side me.
to dispell the notion of Andy being psychotic, he is anything but, more tuned into the mindset of Jesus than likely anyone alive today, the impactful event of Troy of the emotional intensity which is of Andy’s fearful determination in trying to explain the unexplained and why the world is the way it is, and why it has remained the way it is since the time Jesus walked the earth.
In concluding of my resent study, the main cause for the world problems is, according to God everyone,”The Crucial Lacking of Desire for Wisdom.”
I will share something else with you as well…the fire within Andy of deep seated anguish has been channeled into God’s work since Troy. So for a very long time, Andy has walked along side Jesus and all of you.
Further research concludes that what Jesus meant by the words, “Reach for that which i am unable to reach for.”, is without doubt, of the understanding of how harsh the world was during the time Jesus walked the earth, where there was not likely much Exceeding Joy to be had among any of them, with particular note that Exceeding Joy is able to BE maintained every second of everyday for those who seek it, and come into the fullness of knowing it.
My open reflections are for other seekers and likeminded individuals to further explore where i have left off, the scholars of the world who are as enthusiastic as i am in our on going research of likeminded approach that we share…open, relaxed dialog.
just as i do here, fearless open discussion of any and everything, all of the seeker mindset of exploration into probing for the safe passage for mankind to journey.
In concluding all of the research, the most significant truth wisdom is this;
The Kingdom of Heaven is a Perspective anyone can attain, which IS of the macro thinking ability of everyone who are able to fully embrace the “Truth Wisdoms”, which are meant for the BEcoming conduct of the divine true SELF within everyone.
It is not about how charitable one is in life, albeit, always charitable of the BEcoming conduct of one is fully of the BEcoming conduct of Jesus and actually further than what Jesus was able to reach for, merely a man, an adult child of the light of God.
As for my open dialog with God which is on going, i will relate the words openly as to the puzzle i am working on.
Here is one particular wisdom which is important in the opening of the channel with God, and that is of the 100% sincerity level everyone is able to experience, should their sincere desire change from lacking of desire to desire, which i have done for many years now. With that comes the obviousness of the ALL the recorded written words(from God) which point conclusively in the same direction, where all the words mean the same thing, a building of fearless transistion from lacking desire over to desire for wisdom(which is a slow process) which comes with the drawing in affect, a dynamic known by God, of all the words one looks apon. It takes years to clearly see this dynamic, but it is a part of God’s knowingness, in my attempts to understand God, which no one will ever do until such a time of God’s chosing, clearly disclosed by God in written word.
I was trying to understand why God wises it to be this way, and there is a reason. It appears the luring dynamic affect/effect, is designed to increase our desire to desire wisdom at an individual level(follow me on this), where it is also of the increasing sincerity levels which occur during the transition of lacking desire to desire for wisdom, which does occur while in sincere approach alone, of the same sincerity level of emotions we feel while alone, the subtleness, of subtle fearless intellect.
Here is one other significant aspect which i think is crucial. It appears the increasing sincerity level is only possible for those who embrace their curiousity at an individual level, where it seemingly is not something you can teach someone fully, albeit, certainly encourage. What does ‘not’ occur though, is the attaining of the 100% sincerity level(which i have achieved) , merely by teaching it, where it has to occur within an individual while alone in study, because of the subtle nature of the 100% sincerity level, much like how one feels while falling asleep or waking each day.
it is of pure grace and subtle fluttering of peaceful loving feelings.
so if anyone is thinking Andy may be psychotic, perhaps these words dispell it, in the truth, that Andy loves Jesus more than anyone else in life, and it is Andy’s most true and faithful friend till the end, where Andy did ask for Jesus to have his heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, of sincere 100% willingness in doing so, which came from Andy’s sincere disinterest in any learning he found in life from any and all along his journey of life. In doing so, he was rewarded with many gifts of what i refer to as pure clarity insight of the world around, revealing of subtle hidden truths of people’s inner fear for example, so subtle, most do not detect it, of the adult child of us all.
anyway…i hope that helps, and if not, remember, Andy does not concern himself with anything any of you have to say, unless it is sincere in loving approach which he is thankful of those who are…you know who are.
As for expectations, i am letting go of all expectations of everyone, and instead inviting any and all to participate with him in his endeavors of projects of strickly volunteer effort, where Andy knows, without or without any one, Andy is going to BE just fine…you’ll see.
i think that about covers any concerns, yes?
I am of the mindset of the evoking exceeding joy in others, which is what i truly believe Jesus wanted us to reach for beyone his reach. So i think we can easily say, Andy is not some hateful psychotic, and rather quite the opposite, is he not?
Any and all who wish to think otherwise, i say this…only Jesus and God can extinguish fires within you of the fearful hypocrisy heart of impure thoughts of another. Fact.
i can’t do it guys, and i am not even going to try any more with my words, letting go and just go sew the customs.
yeah sure, ask me how the work is coming along which is commencing soon, and i will be glad to share.
I was thinking maybe some multi-coloured special ones of all the rainbow colors for the volunteers who help create the outfits freely given to the volunteers who will wear them, where those who participate in wearing one, will have a selection of one solid color outfit of whatever color they wish, free to keep after the event.
anyway…just thought i would end on a positive note in closing discussing this day.
12, 975 blessed days to go.
I am so going to do this without fail, however long it takes, a year, two…i will do this presentation to the world of the 100 loving brothers and sisters like me.
thank you.
blessings to all.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
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100 is God’s number…as in 100%
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as you can probably tell by my spelling errors, i am fatigued…my own worse enemy somedays.
too much caffeine today. knew there was something causing my edginess. damn. that’s it, two java a day, no more…;)
Jesus,
there seems to have been a party going on here whilst i was asleep,
was i invited ?
oh that’s right
I’ve been asleep !
i so feel like running today, but i just cannot somehow i think i should stay on the couch, like being at the cross road where i run too often, how can i run when it’s such a beautiful day & the sun is shining, i think i am waiting to see if you want to go for a bike ride with me that might be the deciding factor, if you don’t feel like a bike ride then i’ll go running instead.
For me it does not matter if i run or bike ride with you, well it does i mean i do have a preference for the bike ride it’s the healthy exersise option, sound’s like im not enthusiastic no not really, i just want to do what’s best for me & you that’s all, and i heard running is not good for your back beside’s i prefer to ride a bike with you it’s more fun, than running which is so boooring..
anyway see how it goes
i might just go to gym instead
Lol
i love biking!
it is such an incredible experiential experience which takes me back to when i was a boy.
i actually feel the same sensation of emotional calm i did as a boy, as though i am back in time still feeling the same way i did then, the way i felt while alone as a boy, insecure sometimes. It is just the me who wants to feel good, and run with the feelings of happiness, joy.
If i am feeling toxic, i just need to go bike, and it relaxes me, away from everyone…till the cell phone rings.
im off on my morning bike run…still moving my butt to new place this weekend.
looking forward to seeing your butt, on the bike, enjoying the sunshine and all, yer exercising is definalty a healthy thing to do,
enjoy xox
i am the wise parent of my inner child who is yet afraid at times, listening to him, feeling what it is he feels, taking sides with his constant urges to exit the toxic enviroment he has been feeling for a few years now, taking him places for hours at a time to calm and sooth his emotional turmoil from unwanted unwise projections of those in his immediate world(ex), where sometimes it takes at least 2-3 hours for him to calm down, anxiety free, until i allow him to be subjected to more.
well today is the last day i will allow for him to be treated inappropriate any more, and he is thrilled beyond words, of the bubbling anxiety free feelings he and i have felt during our deliberate approach of the 2-3 hours away which indicated all i needed to know.
Jesus says, “Come away from the world(which i know is toxic for my inner child”.
In truth, it is my inner child which knows by his feelings the truth, and so it is my inner child who is leading me, is it not?
Once there, my sincerity level can thrive and grow, which is of my wisdom approach in doing so, as i love the tranquility and twilight feelings best, unable to be experienced so long as healthy(flexible adustable according to my feelings at all times) boundaries are not set.
It is pure truth wisdom which works for the adult child of us all, which Jesus came into full knowingness in his own deliberate approach of experiential techniques, unknowing of the words we use in our understanding today in psychology.
I believe Jesus BEcame so enthusiastic about his feelings, so much so, that he may not of had friends who were safe and supportive enough for him to dwell with for extended periods of time, hence is passerby words, “Be a passersby.”
im free guys, forever more. And you can count on me not entertaining anyone less than who feels purely comfortable for me of the same grace.
It has taken my entire life to arrive at this level of pure sincere awareness, and i honestly cannot tell you how relieved i am of the assistance of many of you each step of the way this past year with you all, in my knowingness that my inner child was reaching out to all of you, of my awareness now of what i was failing to address all this time during this transition.
I hit a few walls along the way, falsely prosecuted, jailed, shelters, meal lines, career loss, all learning of what my inner child was feeling all that time.
I am forever of the mindset to maintain my knowingness, which protects my inner child forever more, oddly enough of the pure truth wisdom of Jesus as our helper, yes?
thank you Jesus. thank you God. thank you to all who have loved me.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
ok…time to get back to God’s work, thread and fabric, of the new Andy who is allowed to do what he wants, giving him full rein of his life to do so, as the wise adult who cherishes his feelings of my awareness at all times.
i hope these words here are able to assist another as it has me, of God’s divine will for our willingness to BEcome wise, and the reasoning which makes perfect sense for the inner child who feels every passing moment, lending to the words of Jesus, “In your heart, let there BE ONE of understanding.”
i look forward to more words with you all, of a more grounded, less fearful, less anxiety ridden Andy in the future, as i pass thru this door into the light of heaven.
blessings to ALL.
bless you
12, 974 blessed days to go.
Enjoy everyone of them.
my biking will increase as a result of my new location, up to 20 miles per day, with not 2-3 hours of peacefulness now, rather 24 hours.
oh oh…you may not be ready to handle the new Andy…he wants to rock the world guys, and he is smiling from ear to ear inside forever more now.
The feeling of going outside and screaming with all that you got, of the utter freedom from his self emposed prison, a new sanctuary of God’s house of only love and peace.
deep breathes…here he goes…
catchya on the flip side.
thanks Marco for pushing me in the correct direction.
God bless you Marco.
not enough words to thank you, truly…would a kiss do?
oh come on, i just wanna kiss you, nothing more, honest…oh come back here! Kiss me damn it!
is that music score on my blog awesome or what?
another experiential experience of deliberate approach for my inner child, assurance for him that i am listening and pay attention to him, soothing for him to know that i am, for he is the one most like Jesus in his heart of hearts who loves Jesus with all that he is, ever of his yearning to feel the love he feels for Jesus feels, and the cognitive awareness he feels of the love Jesus has for him, a merging of the two souls in the bridal chamber of love devoid of doubt with no useless fear forever more, united as ONE(the process of BEcoming conduct continues).
I have stepped passed the point of no return so to speak, of more desire in the feelings of Jesus than that found in the world, and yet, i am of the awareness of the inner child within others who i approach, who sense what i know to BE true of me, true of them as well.
That is the one thing about Jesus i like to tell people which really helps us grasp the faith Jesus has in us, rather than the way most are in their thinking, of faith in Jesus.
I say to people, “Look not apon the faith you have in Jesus and rather look apon the faith Jesus has in YOU, where it is Jesus who came into his full knowingness of ‘that’ of his SELF, pure and true of only loving in his own process of self-awareness-actualization, and in so doing, came into the full knowingness of his feelings and awareness of, ‘well if this is true of me, then it is true of everyone’, which lends to the approach Jesus was with everyone in his words of wisdom to look apon ‘that’ which is true of you and feel your loving hearts, for “i am”(self) there, no different than YOU.
Jesus was trying to explain to them the self-awareness-actualization process he transitioned thru, having a difficult time in getting them interested enough in their sincere desire for wisdom like his own curious desire for wisdom which was of his everyday thinking, an introvert.
hey, that’s a pretty good dissertation, yes?
The Pope will love this one for sure!
God bless the Pope, in his own sincere desire to know Jesus as do i, for his desire is on par with that of Jesus’s desire.
I want you to know that i know the words of God are of God’s design to draw us to our own desire for wisdom, where the words evoke the inner child to feel at ease in their pure loving feelings, dispelling of fear in reading of each word as one becomes increased in their fearlessness, desire for wisdom, sincerity, loving feelings, purity, BEcoming conduct outward of the ONE inward, all words which nurture, protect and maintain the ONE, all of dynamic design meant for the PROCESS of transition of the growth inward which eventually transistions into the BEcoming conduct outward.
It is the most significant dynamic of the written words of Jesus(God thru Jesus).
Many may argue the existence of God, fine, just beware, that there is no greater process of self-actualization than the words of God, no therapist, no one on the planet able to deliver the greatest treasure to you more so than the words of God.
Should you be of the opinion of skepticism of God, you hurt your self in destroying the required desire for God’s wisdom, and in life, you fail to transition into the BEcoming conduct of Jesus.
I leave these words not to impress any of you, and rather it is like these words will be read more by those of the unborn children yet to come, than any here in this century.
while it may sound boastful, truly, i tell you, there will BE one of the future who will appreciate my words to(with) them of the sincerity level of my awareness, exactly that of their own, a true and faithful friend to them in taking the time to speak with them from here in the past.
It is of their own purity sincerity awareness that indeed, Andy did know God, where at some point, they do will be opened to the channeling of God’s spirit with them.
It is God who choses who to speak with, where as humble student’s of God, we know our destiny is as an instrument of God for sake of others…100%.
bless this day and the many days to follow.
thank you
bless you
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i know….i am still fucked up a bit guys….but i know without doubt where i am going…destiny of heaven forever more, of no more negativity, only love, only wisdom, only compassion in my every step, every breath, every heart beat, of my sincere desire in having stepped away from the world to find Jesus in the desert and stay with him till my last day, bringing forth only loving pure thoughts from now on, for sake of another, and for sake of me in the end, of my knowingness of the life giving life waters which flow forth into the kingdom of heaven all around us, where indeed, it is about our BEcoming which feels the best in life, where tranquility is always felt ever more.
There is nothing more valuable in life than the discovery of the treasure of purity and sincerity of the divine true SELF within us all, yet unattended, unprotected and unloved by the sadly (yet) unwise world which surrounds us.
i don’t care you are in a beautiful place in Dubia(did i spell that right) or a begger in the streets, it is not about wealth, status, race, religion, sex, orientation, or politic guys…it is about how your divine true SELF feels in each waking moment of YOUR LIFE.
I already know, no one shall find anything of greater value in life than what i have spoken with you about, having journeyed all this way…into happiness.
I am happiness bound, unbound by any and all of the world’s unwiseness, destiny for another most like me.
thank you for listening(feeling ~ sight returned to our soul).
bless you
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i am moving my books of Jesus and God this day to my new sanctuary.
God bless you all.
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I’ve had a really great day. Great weather. Out and about and a great night out. Felling a lot better.
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ya me too! Spent most of the day out in the beautiful air.
the day is not over for me yet.
spending the night at my new sanctuary…wake to a beautiful Sunday, relaxed, calm….24 hours of it too!
im free! im free! im free!
im bad, i know…
i can’t fix anyone…they have to desire to fix themselves thru increased desire for wisdom, which brings increased value for sincerity, all of it.
It is about increasing of our value for these things we know about our good feelings, and how one goes about ensuring them, of how wisdom protects.
just a short sermon today.
enjoy the blessed day today, peaceful, relaxed, at ease, for truly i am.
thank you
bless you
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opppss…almost forgot…
i am…BE CAUSE….WE ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love you
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ANDY, GET A LIFE, YOU ARE A CREEP!
WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? DO YOU SIT AT HOME ON YOUR COMPUTER AND TALK NONSENSE ALL DAY? STOP POSTING PICS OF YOUNG BOYS ON YOUR BLOG! YOU ARE PERVERTED! YOU HAVE SOMETHING HORRIBLY WRONG WITH YOU! GET HELP!!!!
iehter reely strong or reely stupiud
mos likely stupid
no one human is that strongh
stupid
cat’s got your tongue
feel free to talk, i am listening
ya…stupid…
the blog is not for me morons…
it’s gay history, something the GLBT community cherishes.
the two young gay lovers walked around all day on pride day, dressed like that, holding hands, kissing when ever they felt like it in front of millions of people.
that picture is from Gay Pride Day, Toronto, 2008 fuckheads! ~ gay history.
*cough*…sorry.
Aww that’s sweet; thanks for posting that M!
=-) Queen Friend
chatting away all day in their own tender way opening up to a complete strainger, who was LISTENING ,
that rejection one, get’s me everytime
what work’s for you , works for me
i’ll see you later , when i feel less like a traitor lol
it’s always about the ONE…in our knowingness of the ONE, who is isolated, confused, afraid, outcast, betrayed, spit apon, and what we can do to help the ONE who we know is always out there, embracing what we know of them, radiant bright light that is nurturing for them…us too, everyone, including the ones who currently may be harmful of the ONE.
It is the shift taking place in the world, from darkness to light.
It is constant like the sun which shines, for both darkness and light…one merely need to serve the light or darkness, where in truth, even darkness serves the light by means of the truth of what not to BEcome like.
In that sense the balance is leaning towards the light, and is how God’s will, WILL WIN…eventually, until the day there are no more tears, no more pain, however long it takes to rid the world of ignorance, hate, and apathy.
likely another 2000 years
the rejection ONE is about how all the ONEs feel, is it not?
ya, it’s a powerful piece.
i like the halo being blocked by the mountain, where the mountain is a metphor for all issues we can think of, with regard to the shift taking place in the world of likemindedness in the GLBT community, or whatever issue of many who may find themselves in a world without God’s halo of wisdom.
I like the statue, and is the right one for Troy’s grave, of my own betrayal of him as a friend. It is truth, which most turn away from, that of ourself at times, that of another, all these conducts which are unBEcoming conduct, BEtrays both the BEtrayed, and the one BEtraying, in turning towards unBEcoming conduct, does it not?
sometimes i find myself wondering how he was must of been feeling that dreadful day, and the statue portrays it well, an isolation feeling i think we have all experienced at one time or another.
only way we can stay the course is in our knowingness and awareness of the ONE, as artists, muscians, writers, serving God.
ah…you certain no traitor, rather my inspiration for expressing as fearlessly like i do…it’s just where we have arrived in our likemindedness, who embrace the reality of how the world is, that’s all.
i am here to nuture the likemindedness for sake of the ONE, just as M has done for years…decades.
keep on…keep it together.
remember…what matters, is our knowingness we are all the same inside, and indeed, we have all experienced BEtrayal from unBEcoming conduct.
What bothers me, is how it keeps continuing in the world the way it does, on and on, the egos, the shortsightedness, all seemingly aimless souls(asleep) of no desire to even reflect apon themselves…
In truth, all of our efforts, if have helped even just ONE, it has been worth every ounce of energy, as there is no value one can ever put on say Troy’s life BEing returned to me, where without hesitation i would trade all the riches of the world(if i had that) to have him back.
Just as any mother/father would to have their child back alive from war.
the list is long, of all the unBEcoming conducts of the world, of God’s will for us all to BEcome the halo of descerning wisdom.
so far i am just focusing on the GLBT community.
so far….
i quite enjoy being kept in line..
awsome word’s truthful, DIrect
sincere, to the point
your hilarious,
it’s like when someone abandons you it feels like ther’ve Riped your heart out and tossed it aside, like a disposable razor blade.
lol…well now, there is an interesting choice of words. ha.
i’ve always felt ashamed before Jesus and God for betray of Troy…which has taken me years to deal with.
The only for me was to digest it, however bitter the pain, where i was/am the one of the lesser unBEcoming conduct with regards to Troy. His life stopped, and is always in the frozen of the BEtrayals which lead up to that day, not only of me, of others too. A sweet friend of Troy’s also took his young life just prior to Troy’s suicide, someone close to Troy, a gay lover, so beautiful he was to me, alot like me in spirit, personality.
The emotional snowball affect built up for Troy…add alcohol…end results.
Since that day, it has always BEen the unBEcoming conduct vs BEcoming conduct, which has always BEen at the forefront of my thoughts as far as the most valuable thing in life.
I ran the GLBT community(ghetto) here for daily support, only to find myself surrounded by so many others just like me, all feeling the toxic feelings we did/do, of the unBEcoming conduct of the world we ran/run from(small towns).
I survived…barely…
Eventually i came into my warrior mode approach, BEcoming fearless of the motherfuckers, inspired by M, wearing the clown outfit from The Girlie Show, White Rolls Royce, ’95, and well…the rest is alot of gay history, where that fearlessness continued to grow more and more each year, with occassional falls from time to time, ever more BEcoming self-actualized, tired of fear, not just of homophobic external fears, but i noticed i was growing weary of the egotistic jerks too, the bitter arrogant hypocrisy heart of many in my professional career who treated me extremely badly, thinks like not speaking with me for months at a time…still don’t know how i tolerated that as long as i did, until i finally quit that job.
Now i’ve just grown tired of even entertaining a career, of no desire to plug back into the mean spirited world(which i am compassionate for, don’t get me wrong, they are sadly unwise morons i am empathetic for), but tolerate their shit…no thanks.
100%…without doubt…we BEtray our SELF when we BEtray another, a vicious cycle i am free of.
BEcoming conduct(the opposite) of inner/OUTward appearance, such as all our efforts, is what we know others too instantly and easily connect with at a deep level.
Every year(marching in the GLBT parades without Troy’s hand to hold) has always BEen of my mindset that there is another Troy out there in the crowd, in turmoil, silently aware, silently closeted, afraid, where some do feel like they are evil according to the church constantly telling them so…who i hold directly responsible for many suicides of our loving brothers and sisters, where they are not of God, as Jesus says, “Gay bashing unwise hateful self-serving fearful hypocrisy of these merchant’s of God, is worse than murder, because they do murder the loving spirit of our loving brothers and sisters, where their suicide is the murder.”
ok, Jesus may not of said it exactly like that, but he implied it…i am merely a loving brother of Jesus who understands his words, elaborating into all areas of the psyche.
oh oh…i just made some more enemies…
damn…i am so running out of friends now…lol
so let’s move some mountains, shall we?
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i do see myself in the statue too, as the one humbled forever more before Jesus and God, of my pure humility over Troy, sadly not able to walk beside anymore.
It’s not really guilt, so much as it is deep my deep sadness that he can long live joyful along side of us, of my love for him to do so.
It’s not like reading a news paper. This was my lover and best friend in life, where i came to a complete halt inside in my own life, when his life stopped…forever more.
It is this stopping which lends itself to my entering into the eternal realm of no time constraint, where apon reading words of Jesus, i am standing beside Jesus, right there, feeling his every word deep within, of him and God nurturing my BEcoming within, BEcoming conduct OUTward eventually.
And is why i am of fearlessness as well, albeit, fearful at times, as i tend to prefer dwelling in the eternal realm more than the world of aimless haphazard souls of so much unBEcoming fearful conduct like they do, which i am empathetic of, yet wise of avoiding toxic experience with them, a passerby.
There are some truly wonderful souls in life, and indeed, we are ALL wonderful precious loving souls in the eyes of Jesus and God, just stupid, that’s ALL. lol
I don’t really question how long it WILL take for the world to change, our knowingness that it is changing, rather, i spend my time thinking of ways of BEcoming conduct, such as art, music, poetry, writing, costuming, BEcoming conduct of SELF OUTward, where it is indeed, our WILLINGNESS, which is most important, is it not?
Jesus said, it is not the size of the gift that matters, rather it is the WILLINGNESS to give that matters, where in truth, when we are of the WILLINGNESS, we are reward with the BEcoming conduct in doing so, and the increasing value of love, sincerity, all these wonderful things of the transition into BEcoming within/OUTward, which feel good for us, does it not?
oopppsss…my surmon was only going to BE a small one today.
i suppose it is, when we view it as no small truth is small, alBEit, smallness of those of smallness approach…
i am so relentless, yes?
likemindedness. i thrive when around those of likemindedness, and in truth, the only place i am able to dwell.
so if you were thinking of tossing me, well don’t.
we like each other.
we love each other.
we love our SELF when we do.
bless you
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i would like to say, i sense at a cognitive level of awareness, the presence of loving spirits with me, and more than one, yet ONE in purity of love they evoke in me, where in sensing the spirits, it is of their knowingness of how i am feeling, of them telling me i am loved sorta sensation. I get it all the time in my awareness of the spirit realm, of subtleness, exceedingly light and brightfulness of spirit, sorta like the angel picture does for me, as though a REAL spirit that is watching with me…always with me.
sometime i sense it is Troy’s spirit, especially the day i was jabbing the pen into the pages of my diary shortly after his suicide…
i really felt it strongest that day, of his spirit to foget about everything else Andy, feel the love you have for me, for that is what is important about Andy, your pure love you felt for me, which i felt for you too.
Troy and i were very close, of deep love for one another, and we both knew it for most of the time we were together.
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the sensation was, i did know the ONE who was jabbing the pen into the pages of the diary, where it was an important time for Andy to realize how loving he is, lest he hurt himself, where in truth, i realize it was my feeling inner child connected to the pure truth of his feelings which was as ONE with Troy, where it was my ego unBEcoming Andy who BEtrayed Troy, my inner child angry in doing so, of his knowingness how much he loved Troy and his knowingness how much Troy loved him.
oh yeah…he was pissed off that i was BEing so stupid in trying to write about understanding what happened…Andy the ego fucktard fucked up miserably in BEtraying his best friend in life! lol
To try to describe my inner child, he is of the emotional intensity of a five year old, who will always love Troy, and the many Troy’s of the world forever more.
Perhaps this dispells any desire of my ever BEtraying YOU?
…not possible, of the purity of love my inner child yet feels in his bonding with the pure undeniable truth of what happened to his best friend, Andy, the ego fucktard with no brains! lol
ya…my inner child is control, not me…i have to, or he will throw me down a building, or something stupid. lol
i think that is about as open as one can possibly BE, yes?
all goodness.
ya, it appears the inner child of Andy has united with Troy’s spirit, and in that sense i do see the relationship of the two expressing themselves to the world thru the art pieces…it is of their love they had for one another, and still do, who they want the world to wake the fuck up, and stop being so stupid! lol
hey, now that’s some awesome writing, yes? love it.
fearlessness of others…
i may not ever get another chance to speak with you M…this my chance.
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i love doing these pieces, and sense there are thousands to come…all depicting of subtle indicative truths of unBEcoming and BEcoming conduct able to nurture, evoke, instill…whatever you want to call it.
i truly enjoy the relaxation of art work…hours on end, soft ejoyable music that evokes the loving soul.
I’ve had a fabulous afternoon down the beach in glorious weather:
http://www.ipod.org.uk/Oxwich.jpg
It was even nicer than it looks.
That was a photo I took (above), sitting in the rocks.
awesome!
feels safe and peaceful away from the mad world, does it? lol
i don’t know how you do it.
unbelievable you are to me, of such incredible depth, and fortitude of soul.
well, if don’t mind me hanging around you for, oh, say a couple more decades, knowing i would love to, if ‘that’s ok with YOU?
thanks sharing your day with me.
glad to see you find time to relax as needed.
i feel i have been opening up too much lately…perhaps i should stay to my own blog, less invasive, and just drop in here to say hello?
Thanks!
Your blog is quite tastefully understated …
Clean and minimalist.
Not remotely over-the-top.
Where I took the photo (red arrow):
http://www.ipod.org.uk/Oxwich2.jpg
Corresponding Story:
http://tinyurl.com/499q2v
looks like it faces east.
standing under a full moon on that beach(because it has not much development) would give a incredible feeling belonging to God, doing God’s work, as an individual in life who like me searches their heart and mind for definitiveness as one who walks the planet.
well…if you are ever standing on the beach wondering if i think about you, always know that i do.
I am still researching the ancient text, absorb by it, as you can probably tell.
It is the most fascinating and passionate thing in life for me, in grasping what to me is how one calms their divine true self, in order that we can feel the more enjoyable subtleness of graceful loving life, free of any anxiety, of tranquility with another, but how does one appreciate that unless another is of the same consideration and midset of say a lover or friend?
I mean, we can all feel that special feeling alone in our sanctuary of the mind and meditation, quiet, calm, at ease, free of the negative attitudes of the aimless souls, but finding another who prefers the high awareness level of grace…well…not many.
candles, oh don’t get me started…lol.
huh?
oh think the same way, ah well, that’s good then, yes?
i am being very brave speaking with you like this here.
feel free to push me into the water any time!
yeah, i am a mimimalist at heart, of the ability to stand still in pureness of feelings.
who does not enjoy that?
but how many are deliberate in approach everyday with a lover or friends?
ah, let me see….nope, can’t think of any. lol
it’s your life…i say live it according to what feels best, open minded to other’s ideas, but in the end, be the one in charge of what works best for you, not someone else, because most just don’t have much intelligence about approach…
like drops of hot candle wax on the skin….
what?
oh, you have to try it sometime! lol
opppss…doing again….
i feel each strike of a piano key for example…
what do i do now, i fallen in …. in… in…
into the water
on the dance floor,
omg, love
i just want one wish
if you wish Love, you already are love, love…
if you wish for love of another love, love…
…then pray they are love like you, love! lol
ya…me too?
hey wait a second, who’s who around here any-way?
Love
ah…thought so.
Love of the future world love, love?
i am making a wish today
I only get one wish
I shall wish wisely
can i cry now, i cried yesterday
as long as it tears of love and joy, ya sure, only way to stay real with our divine true self.
i cry daily, in my pure of heart feelings…sincere and true of another.
i sensed my sincerity level along time ago with God.
those who know God, know the sincerity level is 100%, not 99%…100%.
that is how we detect it to be true in another.
i mean it’s there within most any, but most do not attend, nurture, and protect it in a cognitive approach with their own divine true self.
yes tears of love,
how did you know ?
100% know’s
ya…100%
i felt along time ago…and why i am still here pestering like i do.
i remember the day of the sincerity connection which opened for me while alone one day…i knew from that day on…not even sure how, other than it was the opening into the highest level of sincerity so incredible is the feeling, like tranquility feels…
i always knew from that day on…till now…
i don’t even know how long ago it was…lost track of time, as time is irrelevant to the sincerity level, which is a forever eternal feeling which does not change.
that is the best part…it does not change.
oh no, were stuck together for eternity…oh damn! lol
well…one thing for sure, they ain’t never gonna forget about us!
the reason it does not change, is because it is who we are within…the same.
i am…BE cause…we ARE…the same!
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maybe not intellectually…but emotionally, everyone is the same, much the way a crying baby crys, and feels with all of it’s BEing, how we all came into the world, thru the harmonious bliss of the womb of warm fluids which surrounded us, of pure graceful feeling for nine months, ‘that’ which is of the experience within the core of the human BEing of us all.
Jesus tapped into the grace of experience of the womb, cognitive awareness, and realized he could evoke it in others, the calm, fearlessness, much like we were as kids, of anxiety free ability when practiced.
takes time…along time for some, and some not at all ever experience it.
The BEcoming conduct naturally evokes it in another, merely by their presence.
That is the joy of it all, it will continue to grow in the world, and it is, as great is the enthusiasm and delight in others more so now than years gone by. love it.
Of course, one does not grow tire of this, and rather the opposite is true, as increasing of value for the feelings is a dynamic of the restoration, rejuvination, salvation of the divine true self.
I have felt the increasing value within cognitively…and i love the way the 100% sincerity level feels. It is eluding at first…but it is the end goal of effort.
It was never about anything else in life like so many think, in their endless pursuits of wealth and status, rather it is the 100% level of loving sinceity feelings, of what Jesus felt, and wanted others to feel all the time like he did.
It is the twinge in the heart kinda feeling.
Pray the ego does not get back in, in our knowingness of what the greatest treasure is, our cognitive level knowingness of our feelings which speak the truth of what it is, of what it always was, lending to the words of Jesus, “What you look for, has already come, the kingdom of heaven all around you and within YOU.
It is the feelings of YOU, which is cognitive level knowingness feelings of how it feels in the kingdom of heaven, at all times, in each passing moment of each day.
Be sure to set boundaries to protect it well, in knowing what the greatest treasure is…YOU.
i am…BE cause…we ARE…YOU, as in the divine true self BEcoming conduct of YOU within us ALL.
Children are already natural of the knowingness of the kingdom of heaven around them. Ask any five year old where they think the kingdom of heaven is, and they usually say “right here!” with great enthusiasm.
“BEhold the Kingdom of Heaven ALL around you!”
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thank you Jesus. thank you God. thank you to all who find, nurture and protect the greatest treasure they shall ever find.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
thank you
bless you
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Louise… R U going to post again… This is so boring!!
speaking of ego…
eternity is not a long time, its a wonderful time
will be
I see all things we say or do and all of God’s words, are meant for all unborn children yet to come, of the affect/effect direct/indirect truth in unBEcoming conduct and BEcoming conduct of us all.
It is our knowingness of the sincerity level that realizes the pure truth of this. Our lives do affect/effect direct/indirect the entire future of mankind for all eternity.
Jesus knew this at a cognitive level.
blessings to all
i’m happy, enjoying my life, all the wonderful Angel’s i meet along my life journey, some stay for one day, others stay many year’s returning periodicaly making the effort to connect that is especially appreciated so i continue on my journey knowing i will always be loved because i am loving..
I love you Marco
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ya, it has always felt that way for me too.,,a knowingness within many of the special loving ONE who is always there within us ALL, ever growing in confidence, as walls of oppression are held back.
i have maintain rather good boundaries for the last 14 years, maintaining the confident fierce warrior one within, but of late, the last two years, i grew weary, my professional world, took a beating of a life time from them, ejected me they did…fell harder than i first realized, then the three month sabatical turned into 8 months, where now i do not wish to return, glad to have come to a higher level of awareness, however difficult, to let go of the world which wants me to serve it(career), which i won’t ever again…other than my part time gig which keeps my head above water, of my sincere preference of the down time to continue my research, writings, art, music, whatever my kid inside feels like doing, as he is truly of the free loving spirit more so than ever before, loved by me, ever the essential bond of inner child wanting/needing our respect, of we the adult(parent) of our own inner child, which is what we do, listening(feeling) our inner child, is it not?
Unity of the two is essential in approach to true loving life, wisdom protection of the adult(wise parent approach) for the delicate sensitivity of inner child respected, protected(boundaries), honored….happy.
Is that what you mean? lol
Then there is the painful stuff too i am yet working thru more so than i had before, of issues which plague us thru life, if we do not sit and work thru them…and ya, the issue of Troy is a serious issue…hard to believe how i have been still frozen in time all this time of the same emotional intensity of crushed feelings over Troy, of what i feel has been good for me in coming into the sensitivity, and delicate knowingness of my inner child, where now i won’t allow for him to experience the inappropriateness the world all too often tosses at him, disengaged, a free loving spirit happy and truly at ease on a more regular basis than any time over the past decade, no stress, no fear of greeting another beautiful blessed day, able to stop and pray at his favorite church daily while out biking, as the absurd hustle bustle of the business machine world rushes by, honking their horns at him for merely being in the street, seemingly in their way, when in truth, they are the ones in their own way…morons.
i swear one day i am going to take my bike and pound the crap out of one them.
Picture it, Andy on the six o’clock new totally destroying somebody’s brand shiny new bmw or fancy benz, taking every window out of it, lights, fenders…a mad man? Arrested and taken away, as the news dude asks Andy, why did you do ‘that’?
Andy’s response,”I think it was an abreaction triggered by the extremely loud blast of a horn from behind me that is truly loud, frightful for my inner child, of his occasional temper tantrums i am not able to control, of his pissed off feelings from time to time of the unBEcoming conduct of Jesus!”
LOL
enjoy the blessed day everyone!
we only get so many of them in life.
always know, i WILL BE here somewhere near.
always.
i love you guys.
thanks.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL here in the kingdom of heaven.
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“Behold the Kingdom of Heaven all around YOU, of ‘that’ which is of YOU ALL. i greet YOU in peace and brotherly love forever more. What we look for has already come, and it is ‘that’ of YOU ALL, which i shall continue to speak of, for sake of ALL, as a truth revealer who is of the definitivness of God, wise of the many illnesses of the heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, of the many unwise false bitter ignorant teachings of the forefathers before us ALL, yet here with us today, just as they existed when Jesus walked the earth, which i shall reveal with clarity of feelings for ALL to easily understand and feel, where it is our feelings which is the means of sight returned to our precious loving souls. God blesses ALL. Jesus loves ALL. We love ALL.
God loves ALL.
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Marco, don’t ever leave me, as our love is true for one another, just as it is not within me to turn away from you, of the sincerity level we stand in, pure and true of us ALL.
it is clear we are all the same inside emotionally, where that is what is most significant, more so than intelligence and mental fortitude, albeit, fortitude which is necessary in a healthy approach to true loving life, yes, but where we all tend to faulter is in our steadfast knowingness of BEcoming conduct which leads the world by example, where we let go of ALL our indifferences in our knowingness we indeed ARE, all loving brothers and sisters of one another, and Jesus, who is of God, just as we all are.
i am…BE CAUSE…we ARE!
Marco? YOU’ve got the helm?
Ok then. Good.
Exploration of truth is a painstakingly long process which i have been exploring for decades now, and will continue to do as i do in my labratory of the mind, bring forth from the storehouse of goodness which i dwell in and turn to, bringing forth truth wisdoms for sake of ALL, of my definitiveness of one who is of God, a child of the light of God, brother of Jesus, of the truth of what all precious souls of the earth, the same…ALL children of the light of God…where it is silly to regard any of us otherwise.
It is the illnesses of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul which yet snare many precious loving souls of the earth, in our knowingness which is compassionate, not apathetic in our understanding of why the world is the way it obviously is, of the many innocent souls who are born into the (yet) unwise world, of so many learned BEhaviours of unBEcoming conduct, harmful to them, harmful to another, of no ones fault, in truth, of the bitter false unwise teachings of the forefathers before each and everyone of us, of what indeed does plague the world in all of it’s unBEcoming, sadly dark painful unloving ways, hurtful to the one who is unBEcoming, of sadly derangement of soul, of the unBEcoming conducts which goes against us all, all these silly indifferences which are indeed stupid unwisenesses, are they not?
i know i love you.
i know you love me.
we know we love all.
ok. Marco. YOU’ve got the helm.
morning bike ride. im off for now, but shall always return to where it is i cannot leave…my divine true SELF.
God blesses ALL.
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besides, where would i go, other than where i yearn to always BE found?
when you are far away…i am near
when you are near…i am far away.
so where are we?
hello?
hey, where did everybody go? lol
i jest.
i am not about ego guys. these dissertations are extensive in research and of great length, of many i have yet to share with you, and further exploration and collaboration of likeminded elabortation, of my favorite place of dwelling with you all, a student in class with all of us in attendance, where in truth, life is a classroom of hard knocks, where none of us actually ever leave school as class mates with one another in life, always of the humble genuine loving spirit of one another as class mates who sincerely love one another, of the sincerity of our youthful loving true self we always were and yet are.
i love you guys.
i love you all.
i always have.
without doubt.
i will always love you guys, ‘that’ i am certain of.
thank you for loving me.
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(someone in the class whipers to another, “oh oh, Andy is in his anal retentive mode again.)
“i heard that!”
LOL
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i love Madonna, like i love my SELF guys, and she’s know fully that i do love her the same way i do my SELF, just as she too is loving of her precious loving divine true SELF, exceedingly wise in our doing so.
So ya, i am the WILLINGNESS of sincere love for her.
i always was.
always WILL BE.
always.
i am…BE CAUSE…we ARE…always loving of one another forever more!!!!!
rather silly not to BE, where loving feelings is what feels so incredible and amazing for us ALL, is it not?
Welcome to Porta Caeli everyone!
I want to stay…of no better place i have found, than that of my sincere precious loving feelings i feel so deeply within for ALL of YOU.
bless you bless you bless
thank you
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candy girl is madonna…………….ouaaaaaaaaaaa she used to be on this site…..ouaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
she is a candy girl, with a raw sugar we like it
Was on a flight from Oahu to LA yesterday with Kanye West.. Checked out his blog http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/blog/ (not bad)…..
Common Louise I know you’re a bit busy and all, but can you throw us a crumb now and again?
yes say something queen of pop
why are you so quite? say something.
shit
Rosie and her questions of the day, so fearless she is.
Somehow i picture her riding a Harley somedays, so fearless she is in approach, kicking all of our butts.
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i just bought a hundred bucks worth of Christian stuff, pins, key chains, more crosses, a white dove pin, a rosery of dark blood red stones for my pocket, ever able to remind me of what the kingdom of heaven IS.
‘that’ which Jesus came into full knowingness of feelings of his divine true SELF(inner child), in knowingness of it to BE true of his SELF, must also BE true of us ALL, Jesus Christ, the most evolved adult child to ever walk the earth here in the kingdom of heaven all around us, where it is our sincere purity of loving feelings, 100%, which is what heaven IS.
i am determinded to safe guard this knowingness in my BEcoming what is of Jesus, of us ALL.
blessings to ALL.
enjoy the blessed day.
12,974 blessed days to go.
please disreguard my sometimes quick snaps at some of you, of constructive critism, nothing bitter or hateful of any….thank you.
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met a special soul today from Trinidad. Had a large hard cover harliquin clown book in his hand of thousands of clown costumes…expensive book of glossy pics i would like to see one day, recreate them in life…so beautiful of carefree fun loving spirit the costumes are…
i am…BE CAUSE we are…
…are what?
going to do this!!!!! lol
ONE day
he had two blue stone rings on his hand, one of which he gave me, after telling what the kingdom of heaven is, ‘that’ of Jesus, that of his SELF, of pure sincere loving emotions of sameness of us ALL.
exchange contact info…looking forward to working with him one day, of same enthusiasm like that of my own…
very bizzarre bumping into him…by chance we met…by God we met.
he is like SOOO spiritual too!!!
not my type at all, butt a jolly soul indeed. ha.
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who loves Rosie?
i do!!!!!
incredible leader of example of the truly compassionate and joyful loving self.
and so LOUD and OUT spoken!
lol
God bless Rosie. thank you God.
on we go
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ok guys.
time to kick it up a notch!
Ready?
ok, here comes the future of exceeding joy of loving light, dance, of the forever more loving feelings for ALL.
i ain’t taken no prisoners, so if you wanna catch up with me, please do….i ain’t waiting no longer! lol
blessed BE this day forever more.
thank you God. thank you Jesus. thank you to all of your knowingness of where the kingdom of heaven IS.
thank you
bless you
new day…here it comes…
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WHAT A FEELING
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what we ALL already have
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i can really have it ALL
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what i(we) already had…JOYFUL LOVE of and for ONE ANOTHER
thank you God. thank you Jesus. thank you to ALL for your joyful love of and for one another, ‘that’ of which i am, and always was.
i am…BE CAUSE…we ARE…JOYFUL LOVE of and for ONE ANOTHER!!!!!
forever more
thank you
bless you
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This is so good. I’m grooving to this tonight:
http://www.ipod.org.uk/Beggin‘ (Remix).mp3
Oops. This link should work:
http://www.ipod.org.uk/beggin.mp3
i’m still here.
lol
where’s my bike
i feel every moment, the twinge in my heart of what ever music i hear out there, people i meet and greet, what a feeling, where it is our feelings which are the most valuable thing in life, beyond everything else.
oh sorry…right here!
i was adding pics to my blog i took today.
tranquility 24/7! love it!
oh oh…i think something is happening to me…hmmmm…what’s this?
HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!
oh yeah…nearly forgot what that feels like.
Proof of reincarnation?
this one is better
oh did i just make the 1111 post
gee i wonder who i was in my last life,
annoying most likely, like i am in this one LOL
madonna this is so unfair we all wanted to see you on astage here in Argentina… but some ppl is reselling the tickets at very high prices this is so unfair i just wanted to buy a ticket in the traditional way….
nevertheless u are great i hope i have better luck next time…
do you really read this blog? to be yours, it lacks colours
ok
bye
madonna just goes where there is a lot of money, london,paris, new york..
she never goes to asia,africa,do you really wanna know why?she wouldn’t sold the tickets that she used to..at least 100 000 persons that what she wants.
So I ask you madonna, why you don’t do a free tour around poor contries?poor people also like you, not just the VIPs..ok?answer to that if you are a Woman.
love you the same
lindsay lohan we love YOU
You are sexy,girl
you are beautiful
love you
madonna you are 2º because you like boys
lol
M you are more sexy than that samantha dj,
you should take her place,
i would do that
lol
thanks
xoxo
a new day, new faces…
of all the things i recall in my tender feelings of Troy, was my sincere desire to know him, and always of my joy in being with him…irregardless of what we had financially(as we had nothing), or what career path we were anticipating or working toward, not of intelligence of one more than the other, nothing of anything but our sincere tender loving feelings for one another, and the eternal desire of forever more feelings to always feel our forever more feelings.
if you find yourself feeling that way with a lover or friend, you may want hold onto to what is real for you, free of all the absurdnesses of attitude, distracting world, all these things which derail the possibility of coming into your knowingness of sincere love of and for one another, like so many people do, ever placing of so many things between their sincere feelings of a lover or friend.
anyway…
that’s what life is to me…sincere enjoyment of my pure thoughts of desire in being around those who too feel the pleasantness of being around me.
i realize my life is a journey among many souls of the earth, and i will keep an eye out for those who’s approach with me is of their inner sincere feelings of enjoyment in being around me, just as i felt for Troy.
utter and complete messmerized by him i was, of each minute of time we had with one another, of sincere love in our eyes which felt the knowingness…we were in love with each other.
as for those who don’t wish to take time with you, don’t fret over it, as their distractions are likely going to be to painful for you to sincerely connect the way you want to, of seemingly you being the only one their in the room of sincere spirit, body, heart, mind and soul, leaving you feeling like you don’t exist.
I realize it’s not so much they don’t like you, as much as it is their own inability to fearlessly embrace their own feelings, fearlessly turning towards ‘that’ of them selves, rather than all the useless distractions which lead apart.
Truly, if one does not desire to connect with you as much as you do them, then pass them by, as it will not work for you until they do sincerely BEcome as you are in your sincere reflections of them.
a two way street as they say, where indeed, we do meet those in life who are of the fearless certainty that love is of the highest value in life, of lovers and friends.
if anyone makes you feel otherwise…it is their aimless loss soul, not yours.
i am reflecting on how i feel inside, in my art pieces, but in truth, i want real life more than anything else.
these blogs are not real life for me, and rather merely that of our reflections of what we truly yearn for…real life.
soooo….i guess there is really not much more to say, is there…where i know i want and yearn for real life, rather than the rather emptiness of words with one another here where we can hide behind our PC screens probing of our feelings in wondering what works for us.
well wonder no more…we all yearn for real life.
with that said…i am going to go do what i yearn for…something real, something fearless, something wonderful with one as excited about being around me as i am them, of lovers and friends.
those too afraid to be real with me of real life…well…enjoy your PC screen.
i will keep posting on my blog of my real life and reflections of truth wisdoms….but hand around here any longer….what’s the point when all it does is go round and round, back and forth, going no where for me.
fuck that.
a new day has arrived for Andy, and he is so done with the smallnesses of many, including himself at times, frustrated no one here really wants him in real life.
ya…that’s how it feels for me…like don’t exist.
ok…i don’t exist any longer here at this blog.
bye.
as for the clown thing…i’ve realized it is my tender loving feelings i yet feel for Troy, where in truth, it is how i would want us both to dress and feel with one another, of our exceeding happiness, irregardless of what any one on the planet feels, of our life of eternal loving feelings for one another of the only thing that matters, our time being together forever more.
where it is our loving light of love for one another that others sense of themselves, joining in the eternal loving feelings they too feel of friends and lover.
but in the end, it is about the two lovers sincerely loving of each other, radiant and bright, of what is true of us all.
and so, Andy is off to find that lover again one day, and likeminded friends who too feel the same for their lover, joining in the celebration of loving lovers the world over, irregardless of wealth, status, race, religion, sex, orientation or politic.
so go find a lover everyone, who feels the same for you as you do for them, and without doubt, i WILL do the same.
see you all next year at 2009 Toronto Pride Day of our celebration of loving lovers.
a free event for all to express their loving lover feelings.
that’s what it has always been about, no mystery.
the loving lover within us ALL, along the way lending a helping hand up in life for others to one day join in our ever eternal loving feelings of loving life, outwardly expressed for ALL to see and feel forever more.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
find your lover and BE the HAPPINESS you ARE!
i am…BE CAUSE…we ARE!!!!
ok. bye.
i really don’t a fuck about what anyone thinks of me, so save your time and go do something sincerely loving, and forget about any negative bullshit of words, as i am no longer care to listen to empty words.
ok. bye.
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The Kingdom of Heaven is YOUR FEELINGS
thank you Jesus. thank you God. thank you to ALL who know.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
bless you bless you bless you
12,972 blessed days to go, and i am going to ejoy each one of them with a loving lover most like me.
enjoy the blessed day everyone…it is the only thing any of us truly yearn to do each waking day, of time with one another in real life.
keeping it real from now on Matt. thanks. bless you
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I am turning towards the loving lover within me, to BE as loving of another as i was Troy, leading by example for all the world to see and feel, the loving lover within them, so as to change the motherfucking world, so that when i do return in my reincarnated life with Troy there waiting for me, of him saying to me, “What took you so long?!” lol
God blesses ALL everyone!
catchya ALL on the flip side of loving life!
caio bella! caio bello!
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i don’t fucking believe it, these greedy financial fuckheads are now taking even more from the hard working class citizens that work for them.
ah, who fucking cares, i don’t, as long as i have my coffee and morning bagel, im happy.
hey, maybe that’s what everyone needs, to feel what it is like for those who suffer from their egotistic fucking boastful pride of wealth.
looks like the future is unfolding as it should! greedy fucking idiots snared by their own apathy.
financial meltdown…ohhh…i like that word.
how about break down and face the truth of your arrogant pride wealth motherfuckers?
lol
cough* sorry …wrong blog again…
yep…financial institutions that engaged in this irresponsible lending, all speculators…all cause for increased worldwide inflation for the most poor who are barely able to survive…all greed driven…
…i hear they are highering people at the local cafe here in the ghetto if anyone is in need of job! lol
oh hey look, a fire sale, everything at 80% off! yes! love it!
finally i can afford to buy one! lol
thanks mr.bankers. idiots.
Are you having another rant?
proposals being debated would amount to the most sweeping economic intervention by the government since the Great Depression…
…oh hey, this really is serious.
idiots don’t have the words insatiable desire of greed in their vocabulary…obvously.
well…looks like alot of people will soon have lots of time to think about it in the unemployment lines. lol
hmmm…perhaps they will learn to share in order to survive?
nah…i doubt it. their too stupid. lol
I don’t care, as long as I can sell my flat.
they have to freeze the markets, while there is still a market to freeze…yesterday, not tommorrow, as it is panic driven.
shut it down now.
idiots…always explaining.
Madonna’s in Vienna tonight. Sounds nice. So you’re not Madonna.
you might have to sell it real cheap, like me REAL CHEAP, as in FREE!
lol
i am like that of Madonna, yes. 100%
I AM selling it real cheap. I have a buyer. But the management company have screwed me.
invest in gold
while you still can.
It’s 10.34 pm in Austria. Madonna would be doing a big jumpy number on stage right now,
So you can’t be Madonna. You must be a humble serf.
What’s it like working for Madonna? Really? You can tell me in confidence. I won’t let on.
yep…a humble student of only love in his heart, sweet music, dance, lover…all that matters to me.
i don’t work for her…i work well with her…always of love in my heart for her of matters to both of us…100%
he and i could be the poorest in the world, yet always of happiness of the sincere love we have for each other.
oh look, the financial meltdown everyone…hey, we will all soon be poor, but definitely not ever poor in sincere loving spirit of and with one another, of the only thing that matters in the eyes of Jesus, God and those like us.
truly!
you know what…i have only a mattress to my name, not even any sheets for it.
i swear. and i am as happy as fuck to feel so free like i do this day, knowing the loving lover within me who is going to find one just like me, undistracted by the cold motherfucking useless bullshit world i used to work for.
lol
can you believe ‘that’?
it’s true.
i am
i am…BE CAUSE?
we are
I’m poor already. Financial meltdown doesn’t bother me. I have no money at all. I live in a small flat with no money on low income.
But do you find me complaining??
i don’t even think gold is safe to invest in anymore.
yeah…that’s how i want to fly too, no stress, forever of carefree loving spirit of a lover and friends.
You’ve got a mattress with no sheets? Bloody luxury. I dream of a mattress. I have to sleep on floor.
Well, I say “floor”. It’s more like gravel.
wow…there is real panic out there in the markets.
to the tune of 700 billion dollar bandage.
nah, the Christians gave me a mattress.
ah fuck…i feel like i am in some cartoon.
I’m sure the financial thing will just blow over and everyone will forget about it. Just like it always does.
pandamoniam all around, me standing still silently laughing at the morons who don’t see us(comprehend).
ah…no.
American government is looking to pass a 700 BILLION dollar buy out of existing companies, selling off of the assets later.
they have not passed it yet, and likely will not get the green light…besides, that won’t save the world economy anyway.
they have to freeze it for a month or so…no trading.
then when the stupid dust settles and people calm the fuck down…slowly open the trading.
they have to in order to save what yet exists…or say good bye to the world economy.
it is worse than the great depression meltdown.
it’s sliding into the ocean because of the ‘sky is falling’ panic striken ones losing millions as we speak.
i find them all rather entertaining and amusing for me.
Why do you care?
this guy is smart;
Bernanke argued that setting up an auction process for the government to buy the troubled mortgages would benefit all banks and the broader economy. Auctions would allow financial institutions to more accurately value the assets, rather than having to take huge losses when they marked them down to fire sale prices.
If I had any money I’d be bothered. But I don’t and I’m not.
i don’t care…like i said, i find it all rather amusing.
well…i mean i care…i would like to see people keep their jobs.
the great depression was worse for the working class and poor…the wealthy did not go without.
gold was the investment of choice when it hit back then.
it is all because of the insatiable desire of greed which speculated far too long, of housing prices which are utterly absurd!
i know how much it costs to build a house, dad and i built hundres of them.
not in your heart you mean…it is not you are about.
ya, i know what you are saying, i am no stranger to wisdom seekers.
Madonna will be coming off stage soon. I’m sure she’s not bothered about financial meltdown.
In the end, it will be good for the working class, with more realistic values, as inflation is far to high in many parts of the world, the poor being the hardest hit, which is who i care about.
but then again the greedy fuckers may increase prices to make up for their recent loses.
ah…i never fucking ends, this bullshit world that is upside down.
hmmm…let’s see, lower prices means companies closing, more unployment, less work, less buying, meaning better barting world wide at better prices…hey, this is going to be a good thing for the poor caught in the inflation of the insatiable greedy ones.
ah…good then, let it fall into the ocean. lol
so it’s true then.
oh, i couldn’t possible be?…
only one way to find OUT!
and i ain’t waiting another 14 fucking years! lol
i jest.
do what ya want.
i want you to be happy, however and with who ever that will be…be wise.
I don’t understand. I’m just left in the dark.
I’m wise. I won’t be silly.
If Madonna contacted me, she wouldn’t regret it. I give you my word.
But she’d have to treat me well. No screwing with me in any way whatsoever.
Anyway, I’m going to bed. Night night X.
gratitude and thankfulness of the day, and everything about the day, the food, the tender touch, the soft spoken, the pleasant music, the lover, the friends, the time alone in peace and tranquility of loving feelings….
ya…i agree….
i am so done with people screwing with my head, and my emotional well being.
hey, i redid the pic of M…do you like it?
anyway, we are all free to do what we want….just be sure that what you want to do, is what you truly want to do, with who ever you want to do it with.
looks like the housing market is going to come to a complete hault.
which means alot of unemployment and further economic slowdown on a huge scale in the coming months, less people buying and spending, more job cuts, more companies feeling the pinch, which could see no recovery of the economy for along long time…decades.
i don’t see why the banks don’t put back some of their profits from years gone by…oh yeah, i forgot…they don’t care.
just like them to have the balls to ask the tax payers for 700Billion.
can you believe that?
as if we will vote for that, as they cry wolf saying we will all lose our jobs if we don’t…motherfuckers.
oh yeah…if forgot…i don’t care…at least not for the insatiable desire of greed ones….
oh hey…this new ring i am wearing is glass…i wonder how long before it gets broken.
not that i would be the one to intentionally break it, just that working with it will likely see it get broken eventually.
maybe i should put it somewhere safe.
i took it off and put it on my crystal cross necklace…safe
im just left in the dark…do you write your own comic stuff? lol
ah fuck it, i ain’t gonna lie…i would love to spend my life with M.
duh! who wouldn’t
a moron if you don’t
but it is always a two way street for us all, where it is not about what we may want, and rather what two people who sincerely connect want, where it is always the connection or the lack of connection which is the only way i will know who is right for me, as i cannot enjoy being around one who is not of the desire to connect at the same level of sincerity as i am.
I will share something else…i know God is on my side, in my steadfast knowingness of who i connect with, and those of lessor sincerity to do so, where God wills me to always remain of my knowingness that somewhere is one who is meant for me, good for me, sincere like me, of exceeding joy for us both when we do finally get together.
i am not looking at heart ache in the future, rather i am knowingness of what works for me, just as i know what works for another, open sincere divine true self pure loving sincerity of eyes only for each other, commitment and surrendering of self to another, of the same way i surrendered to Jesus and God, where i know Jesus and it is Jesus who helps me feel who is sincere with me, honest with me, of the same level of reflection of me as i am of them…and i ain’t setting for anything less motherfuckers!
lol
Jesus and God tell me not too, knowing i am not about the ugliness of the mean spirited world, of having left it behind now, where i don’t care if it takes me ten years to find one right for me, where settling for less is stupid, and painful. nope…not again…not ever. I would rather read a comic book.
tic toc tic toc
man, the clock is driving me nuts, so slowly! lol
i would secure real gold, not just on paper, if possible.
don’t buy american gold on paper, as this is bank gold who are the ones faultering.
But questions remain about whether it will prevent more failures of banks and Wall Street firms and many doubt this will lead to a quick turnaround for the battered housing market
here comes the fall out.
ya. i know your depth of compassion is like my own.
just think of the stress free feelings which come with knowingness of what kingdom of heaven is for ALL. It is about sincere loving approach with everyone, rich or poor, rich in loving spirit we ALL are and can BE.
i am …BE CAUSE we are…rich in loving spirit we ALL are and can BE.
how dare he call me a zionist. i am no zionist. i am of God.
we all are you morons!
Children of the light of God, so try recognizing what you are.
Those who know God, know 100% that God is only love, compassion and wisdom, not hate, apathy and ignorance.
All of us, including the leaders of Iran, are all God’s children of the light of God.
What most people fail to comprehend, is that the ignorant bitter false teachings of the forefathers who did not know God, nor desre, yet claim they did, and did not, existed before Jesus, and are the exact same teachings handed down till this day of the very same ignorant teachings which existed the time Jesus walked the earth.
Jesus saw it everywhere he went, himself of a non-denominational child of God, alone in the desert where God spoke with him, of his own self-awareness of the purity of loving feelings within him, of only sincere love, wisdom, compassion for all innocent souls being born into the unwise world and learning these ignorant false teachings the existed, and yet exist in the world.
Sadly, the world is still gripped by these false teachings which Jesus and myself are of the awareness of…the list is long.
It is the very cause of all warring factions yet in the world, of the burning fire of ignorant unwise hatred which burns in the hearts of men, day and night, of what they turn towards, hate rather than love, ignorance rather than wisdom, apathy rather than compassion.
Woe to you who do not come before God and humble yourselves in surrendering to the truth, that you are not wise of God yet, for no is until such a time of God’s chosing.
Woe to you who do not come before God and humble yourselves in surrendering to the truth, that you are may be snared by the unwise false teachings which were and are not of God, of the many fate’s of ignorance, hatred and apathy.
Woe to you who do not realize what the greatest truth wisdom of God is, ‘Crucial Lacking of Desire for Wisdom’, wisdom that is meant for the divine true self with you all, of the what Jesus came to know of himself, and in so doing, came into full knowingness in his awareness of ‘that’ which is true of me, is true 100% true of all innocent souls born into the unwise world, which Jesus cognitively became aware of in all things people say or do, of the descerning wisdom which thinks with our feelings in each passing moment, the truth which is so obvious to see and feel.
Woe to you who do not know what and where the kingdom of heaven is, for you shall not find it in all your useless shallow attempts in doing so, in your attempts to serve God and your unwise foolish unBEcoming conduct at the same time, unknowing of your own unwiseness which yet grips your precious loving souls snared by the ignorant teachings of the forefathers which yet plaques the earth and all of it’s inhabitants.
In the eyes of God, all are equals in the ability and capacity to know God.
I speak these words as one who knows God, chosen by God, because i chose God.
ok…lunch time!
lol
ha.
(CNN) — Got an idea that could change the world, or at least help a lot of people? Google wants to hear from you — and they’ll pay as much as $10 million to make your idea a reality.
really now?
how about what it’s really worth…10 million lives of precious innocent souls born into the unwise world?
these people just don’t get it.
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if i were to surrender to their lure of money, then i would become distracted from my purity of sincere love for all precious innocent souls born into the unwise world, serving the world, rather than God, would i not?
duh!
my therapist said something funny this morning, she goes. “The first thing we experience from exiting the harmonious blissful state of nine months in the womb is a slap on the ass!”
lol
from that first day, It’s like, wtf? What’s going on? What is this place? This isn’t heaven that i was experiencing in the womb, is it? Oh damn, it is! Why are these people so mean spirited with one another? Did we all not experience the blissful pure harmonious state of nine months in the womb? Indeed, i know, we all did, and i know without doubt, it is the harmonious state of feeling which is the core of the precious loving innocent soul of all divine true self within us all, ALL innocent souls born into the yet unwise world, are we not? duh! lol
So i ask, “Why are so many of you forgetful of your harmonious feelings you experienced in all your inharmonious conduct with one another, where in pure undenialable truth, you are all exactly the same within of what you all experienced while in the womb…harmony.”
Wise are those who pay heed to the one who offers advice in their knowingness that many there are who turn away from harmonious love and pure truthfulness that all inhabitants of the earth…are you truely listening?…are all exactly the same!
i offer you all warning, to those who turn towards stupid raging hatefulness of any one, hear my words with you this day…”YOU shall experience the full extent of the stupid hate you turn towards in your utter stupidness in deciding to kill a precious innocent soul like your own, where it will be YOU who decides the fate of your own precious innocent soul, in your turning towards unBEcoming conduct with another, where the fortitude of God’s might will greet you full in your own death, not of we who are loving of you, rather of your own unwiseness in turning toward a deciding moment in the future of hatefulness toward another, in your decision, not ours, in doing so. YOU will face the full wrath of GOD on that day, should you unwisely decide your own fate that day, in turning towards useless hatefulness of my loving brothers and sisters, including you who are yet able to turn away from hate and towards the truth of your own precious loving soul born into the unwise world, which may yet be snared by ignorant hateful apathetic unBEcoming conduct of these many false teachings of the forefathers before us all, which yet grip the many inhabitants of earth.
I have spoken the truth of that which will come to all of you who chose to turn towards useless hatefulness of one another, as one who stands forever more united of the oneness of God’s willingness of wisdom, love and compassion for ALL.
Should you fail to pay heed to my words, it is YOU who shall BEcome obvious for ALL to see and feel the truth of your hatefulness, when you are cast out of heaven for all eternity, and forgotten, just as we have forgotten the useless absurd hatefulness and stupidness of Hitler.
Know this…”None of YOU will not become victorious over the truth of my loving brothers and sisters, not now, not ever, for we are of the eternal TRUTH which does not fail, in our knowingness of love, compassion and wisdom for one another as equals of all the inhabitants of earth, as loving divine children of the light of God, ALL, one and the same, including YOU who are yet of the unwiseness of God, unwise of your own divine true self within, an innocent loving soul of God born just as we ALL are, into the (yet) unwise world of the kingdom of heaven which surrounds us, where it is our precious feelings which feel the truth of all things we look apon.”
thank you for listening(feeling).
Mark my words, these things will come to pass in the future, no matter your decisions of BEcoming or unBEcoming conduct with one another, where it is you who shall decide YOUR fate in doing so.
Turn towards hate, and it will BE defensive fire which shall greet you, as we are of the might and fortitude of God’s wrath, and of God’s asking that we “do not allow the unwise wretched bitter hatefulness of the beast of ignorance that may rise up against you, to become victorious over your pecious loving souls, lest the beast of ignorance become victorious and rein over the earth of the many precious loving inhabitants of the earth in all it’s wretched hateful unwiseness to do so.”
we have come along way as inhabitants of the earth, in our ever increasing value of love over hate, of the many who experienced world war II, of the one thing they all unnanamously felt within…let’s not ever do this again with one another, and instead be loving of one another, just as we ALL are today, of the free world, truly loving, wise, compassionate and considerate in our feelings for all precious loving souls of the earth, where today, many there are working in the field today, in our efforts to bring an end to world starvation, that of our fortitude of wisdom of God’s spiritual wealth in doing so, where we know fully, it is our loving feelings for one another as equals, which is of the only TRUE VALUE of life in each blessed day we wake to(mostly…some are yet learning of the enlightened ones who walk among us, which feel our presence of BEcoming conduct so obvious to see(feel) the truth of our love).
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
bless this day forever more and ALL the blessed days yet to come.
slow down and humble yourselves before God, and embrace fully the truth, that NONE of you are fully of God’s wisdom, nor shall anyone be until such a time of God’s chosing, where truly, all unloving unBEcoming conduct is obvious to see and feel by those who are of the enlightenment, wisdom, love and compassion of God who dwells with them.
thank you Jesus. thank you God. thank you to all who turn towards their loving compassionate wise feelings of God’s divine WILL that we BEcome the WILLINGNESS to do so.
God summons ALL souls of the earth to love, compassion and wisdom.
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hey, i think my spelling is improving…thank you God.
hey…my dissertations are improving, yes?
truly focused on pure truth wisdom of God who dwells with me(us).
let me take a moment to describe my dwelling with God.
i am alone in a chamber with God and many angels of God, in pure oneness of connection with them of the utter purity and sincerity of my loving divine true self child within. I speak with God directly in thankfulness and complete humbleness with God and the angels of God, where it is the angels which teach me by means of the pure feelings of the angels, exactly that of my own, where learning of our 100% pure sincere feelings is of God’s divine will that we ALL do.
cool eh?
a mighty super hero that walks among us, invisible to all who are not of my comprehension, yet many there are who are close to my level of awareness in psychology and spirituality, where spirituality is of the wealth of pure connection feelings which God’s word nurture and protect, ‘that’ of the divine true self child within us all, exactly that of the adult child called Jesus, who knew conclusively without doubt, we are ALL exactly the same in our capability to know what Jesus came to know fully!
Let me say this…Jesus did speak with God, and knew God was ever present with him, and God did speak with Jesus just as he speaks with me.
ok….break time. lol
i would like to submit my knowledge to CNN, but it may take more than a few years to fully disclose what i know, of the extensive writings i have and written over the last twenty years, of ever eloborating on all that has been written.
In truth, that is the main problem, is it not, of the many in such haste and aimlessness of soul of their ‘Crucial Lacking of Desire for Wisdom?”
If we don’t take time to get up each day and go to class at university to get a degree in say psychology, then we do not get the degree. duh!
such is the length of time needed for ALL to BEcome of the much needed wisdom that ALL must embrace to enter into the awareness level(wise perspective) of the kingdom of heaven all around us, where in truth, it is those who sit apon the many thrones of nescience in the world, who MUST be of the sincere yearning and desire for the amount of wisdom which is need of them, in order for them to surrender and let go of these uselessnesses of unBEcoming conduct so obvious for us to see and feel the truth of their yet unwiseness, is it not?
oh well, we shall see soon enough what they decide, God rest their souls if they turn towards the fires of useless hate within them, for they will not become victorious over us, not ever.
look at us, the USA, the UK, Canada, Japan, Hong Kong(China), all of the collaboration of likemindedness and love for one another. Only an idiot would think they could wipe us out, where sadly we know the truth, they WILL DIE should they attempt to do so….without doubt.
anyway, that’s all i have to say for now of how the future WILL unfold, where the fate of those who sit apon the thrones of nescience WILL be the ones who decide their own fate first, not we who are yet loving, empathetic, and wisely compassionate of them.
I embrace true and faithful friendship as the best course for us to take, of our enemies that we do indeed sincerely love, inspite of the lack of comprehension of us to know the truth, we do love them.
i pray they take the time to fully come into the awareness and comprehension level that we have become, as darkness of ignorance is of our knowingness of which they sadly yet dwell.
we love them, truly we do, just as we are ALL loving of so many of us the world over, in all our continued economic relationships of so many decades now, ever growing of peacefulness and loving harmony with one another which will continue come what may of any who stupidly attempt in trying to derail us….they won’t succeed.
Just as we all learned of the uselessness of world war II, which was not completely useless, as it did teach us all to be of harmonious approach with one another.
The world did rise up against one another back then, stupidly, many millions of family members died on all sides of the stupidness and utter uselessness of war.
As they said then, “Let us not repeat history with one another, and indeed, we don’t and we won’t, and only of those who rise up against us, shall we eternally be of God’s fortitude in defending ourselves shall war be experienced again.
Granted, we did go into Iraq, and Afganistan, but the regimes which were there were indeed of the useless unwise ignorant ones snared by the unwiseness of the teachings of the forefathers, not of God in all their wretched controling ways, such as beheading a father in front of their family outside the family home, for outspokenness of those who spoke against Saddam.
Many of you do not embrace the wretchedness of the regime that existed before in all your armchair warrior opinions.
Our soldiers in Irag and Afganistan are always of the loving feelings of the homefront each hour of everyday, bringing forth peace and love which is of the free world we live in. They are not there to harm anyone, rather to defend against wretched stupid unwiseness of the hateful unBEcoming conduct of those yet snared by the ignorant teachings of the forefathers which yet exists through out the earth of ancient ignorant teachings not of God which go back way before the days Jesus walked the earth, all of learned behaviours and unwise unBEcoming conduct handed down generation after generation, century after centrury, still alive and thriving with us this day, exactly as it did then, no different in any way, where today they still stone people to death in Iran(for example of the truth of this knowingness of learned behaviours) for adultery…utterly and completely hateful unBEcoming conduct of the hypocrisy heart Jesus(God) spoke against and railed against each and ever step, breath and heart beat of his precious loving life walking the earth.
ok…dinner time….
Do we live in 2008?
So i enter Montenegro and they steal my fucking towels!! I’m pissed they were suspicious of the amount? Well hello it’s a mother fucking tour! I’m breathing and letting in light ..and they can kiss my arse.. xXx
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i say, “Let’s keep living our loving lives together like we do, of our on going celebrations of loving life the world over, and just forget about the morons who sit apon their thrones of nescience of words and speech(and indeed we do, do we not?), and let them mull over their thoughts over time, as we need not concern ourselves or engage in their bitter cajoling and enticing of ones obviously ignorant, lest they continue to enjoy their arrogant egotistical words with us(and indeed, no one was there listening, was there…guess what, we don’t care what you have to say with to us, unless it is words of love, compassion and wisdom).
Good going guys, in your not engaging in useless debate with those yet so obviously unwise and unloving in their obvious unloving conduct, so bitter to the taste their immature childish words are, are they not.
We need not concern ourselves as many there are who have taken up their posts in defensive position forever more.
forget about trying to make sense with those who don’t thirst for our wisdom.
If they want to die in stupidness of approach with us, then let them decide their own death, as God has spoken.
Let’s all stay the course and get back to our loving lives, focusing our time on helping those in need in the world, of time well spent in our concern for the one billion children in poverty, concern of time and moneies for education of our own children and ourselves, where there is no way i would invite a hateful war monger to speak to my loving classmates at university…a complete of our precious time, is it not.
If we allow ourselves to be cajoled and enticed by those obvious of the hypocrisy heart they turn to, in all their useless ignorant words with us, that of an unwise child of God, then we lend ourselves to the possibility of their raging hateful fire within that they seek to cast into us, in the hopes of engaging in useless debate with an unwise child, of what God calls, “The bitter nashing of the teeth outside the gate of heaven.”
Nope. Who wants to listen to that, when sweet soft music, candle light dinners with our loved ones, and peaceful serenity is what we enjoy.
Why be fearful of those who cast fear around like they do, apon us who dwell in the kingdom of heaven, of our pure knowingness of what and where the kingdom of heaven is and always has been, as Jesus said, “What you look for has already come.”
It is our wisdom, our loving feelings, our loving compassion which is what the kingdom of heaven is and always was.
We have God’s fortitude of protection in technology, and without doubt, it will be used against any ignorant rising up of the beast of ignorance against we who are of God’s love, compassion and wisdom.
Go ahead, oh yeah of seemingly infinite wisdom of God, so obvious to us all that you are not, in all your unloving stupidly ignorant ways of unwise embracing of hatefulness against we who love, for if you do, you will die stupid.
Like dirty Harry said, “You need to ask your SELF, did i fire five shots or six, as the idiot turned towards his hate within in unwisely reaching for his gun, thinking he could possibly outdraw the gun of God’s loving child which made final judgement apon hateful ignorant unwise unBEcoming ways, for sake of the unborn children yet to come, for sake of we the children of the light of God.
It’s over people, this whole bullshit ignorance yet in the world, will be brought to not from this day forward forever more, where such unloving ways will not be tolerated ever again in the world, a free world of free fun loving high spirited children of God forever at play with one another, sincerely loving of each other like we are.
blessings to all, and thank you for your continued efforts in feeling your loving feelings within. thank you.
be sure to offer only love and praise of the children who take their posts each day in defensive position of our loving free world, for truly we know, in their hearts each day, is the loving feelings of our homefronts which miss them hourly, of our sincere pure loving feelings for our loving sons and daughters.
enjoy the blessed day everyone, we only get so many of them. Don’t waste time with the babbling hate mongers who seek to entice you into emptiness of words so shallow, lest we fall from God’s grace of exceeding wisdom and BEcoming conduct of the divine true child within us ALL, loved by Jesus, loved by God, loved by ALL who are loving like we are.
i am…BE CAUSE…WE ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on we go
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oh hi M.
my therapist is awesome!
we had my first session, get this, out on a roof top patio in the beautiful sunshine, and get this, she smokes like i do. lol
she is exceedingly wise of 30 years as a therapist, of a program she created for me to work thru in the coming years, right here in the ghetto, steps away from the cafe’s we all hang out at, of where she too lives, works and plays, of what she said to me, “i love the GLBT community the most in life, and is why i chose to live, work and play here daily.”
God bless her. thank you God.
you still taking the towels from the rooms? lol
how many are in your entourage anyway?
2008?
ya, unfortunetly is many ways, we do physically live in the year 2008 here on planet earth, albeit, we are of the eternal spirit realm of no time constraint, which is always of our yearning to not have to experience the useless unwise negativity yet in the world that is so hard for us to escape and keep detangled from some days, of our fortitude of wisdom which sees(feels) clearly the obvious condition of many souls, of which we are empathetic for, but somedays, we really need a break from them, do we not. lol
sometimes i fall, slip, faulter, and become my own worse enemy of insecurity, but i am taking steps in establishing my three safe and supportive friends in life which i need to maintain my positive mental emotional well being.
forgive my abusdness with you somedays…just don’t tolerate it when i am of the lessor conduct, as i am in need of the guide posts.
sadly, i am no where near your level of mental emotional well being, and i am thankful of you putting up with me for as long as you have….i would of quit my sorry ass long ago. lol
these writting are raw(new), of the eloboration of my studies.
feels good to connect with my fortitude of macro thinking which i know is of God’s divine will that i release God’s wisdom to the world.
God knows, i know, what he yearns for me(us) to know, where God knows i know 100% what it is God knows i know is of God’s wisdom.
God knows, i know.
i don’t really see God as a he or a she, where consideration of such is useless, just as a name is useless, where anonymous conduct is of the unity of the angels of God, silliness of egotism for need of a name or boastfulness of the generation of BEcoming conduct, we the generation who finally get it right for all generations yet to come.
the angels in the chamber God are all of the exact same likemindedness, watching of the ones who come into full knowingness of the likemindedness of pure love for one another, of the angels which know we are of the ability to feel as they do, pureness of genuine forever more love for one another, of no silly desire to ever think or feel anything other than the pure knowingness of feelings they feel, exactly the same within each, of the wisdom they know which unites them in the sameness of likemindedness.
It is the angels knowingness that we are able to come into the full knowingness of them, where indeed, they know it is we who eventually BEcome of the angels who walk the earth forever more in the kingdom of heaven, ushering the exceeding joyfulness for all to feel forever more with one another.
and indeed, we are doing just that, are we not, in our GLBT community. i know i am of the forever more loving feelings of all my loving brothers and sister, and have been since i the first day i arrived here in the ghetto, of sincere joyful spirit each day in greeting each and everyone of them, day after day, year after year, decade after decade…no changing me…not possible, is it?
why would i want to feel anything other than love for them, knowingness of how the world has treated and continues to treat us?
looks like the “Sky is falling mentality” still is running around like an idiot in America. idiots.
look people, the houses that are standing today will still be standing next year inspite of your stupid panic driven fear of losing you precious insatiable desire of greed.
those assest will still be what they are worth their market value next year.
What we are seeing is the spiritually poor souls feeling their loses of over speculation in the first place, like losing a monopoly game.
well, tough!
you play, you lose, so suck it up and be grateful if someone gives you a job and a meal to eat, with a roof over your head.
why on earth should tax payers come in and rescue your insatiable desire of greed which is heartless(not all) of consideration of those suffering far worse in the world than your poor poor me victim mentality of losing at your insatiable appetite for greed.
too bad for you, i say.
700 billion is about what the entire education cost is for children in America, where if we are smart, we will spend that 700 billion on educating them further in areas of psychology or whatever, so long as it is not about the stupid insatiable apetite of a greedy businessman who mostly don’t even know there are one billion children in the world in poverty.
so enjoy your downtime everyone, which will be good for you all in your really feeling your feelings of thankfulness of a meal to eat each day.
if government passes this 700billion, it is just stupid, as it further fuels the insatiable apetite mentality of so many of you.
let the chips fall as they say, and spend the money more wisely on the tax payer’s and their families, of who’s money it is and belongs to, not you of the business who are suffering you over speculated gambling like you did and yet do.
morons…i am surrounded by morons.
oh look…600, 000 of you gambling speculators lost your jobs.
well tough.
go get a real job.
they don’t even realize they drove up inflation world wide with the hardest hit being the poor, inflation of 100% in some areas of the world, of ones who could not afford a loaf of bread each day, and certainly cannot today.
fucking heartless uncaring business world morons, of no consideration other than their self serving bullshit insatiable apetite of the desire of greed and wealth.
rant over. lol
about time the inflation comes to a stop, and goes the other way.
if they pass this 700billion, i’ll be pissed. Government better not be taking any bribes along the way in sleeping with these bankers.
anyway…who wants to by your best in life M?
and who will always want to be your best friend in life M?
ok then.
just don’t put up with any of my shit ok?
i hate it when i get stupid about my sincere feelings for you, which i have had for decades, knowing i always will.
you would not believe what i bought at Priape today…then again, maybe she could…
http://www.priape.com/
and no, i am not giving you any hints…you will just have to use your imagination….
lol
i am sooooo bad! lol
Is Montenegro a proper country? I’d never heard of it.
I still can’t sell my flat. I know it sounds bad, but I hope I don’t suspect that Madonna is screwing me around over this. The days of that are in the past. I would not consider that acceptable in any way.
It’s your decision …
I don’t want to even think that.
I would consider that so serious, I don’t want to even think that.
You could say something.
Hello? If you want me to continue posting here, I want an answer.
Don’t you value me being here? Don’t you know what it will cost you if you take my new home from me? Don’t you understand? Is it worth that much to you, to screw me around? What sort of message is that sending to me? IS THAT SO IMPORTANT TO YOU?
I have been striving for almost two years to sell my flat, to get my new home by the sea. I don’t have much, but that’s all I’ve wanted.
Just think about it, OK?
Just think about it, seriously.
I’m going now.
If you want me to carry on posting here, then I want my new flat.
That’s the deal. The only language you understand. It’s a business proposition. Black or white. Your choice.
No flat, no posts.
Right, bye bye. Have a good tour.
You could give me this ONE thing to keep my happy. To keep me here.
Bye,
X
You have no idea how much stress my mother is under over this as well. I have been to hell and back over this thing.
You have no right to hurt my family as well.
no one is hurting anyone other than the one’s who chose unwiseness for themselves to follow.
i follow no one, only my pure of heart feelings for ALL.
people can take me or leave me…i don’t care anymore…truly, i don’t, of my knowingness of the only thing that works for me, of my knowingness of what works for another, who ever that may be, and indeed, of any one of you of my family, a loving brother i am to ALL. duh!
ya, who would not want a place by the sea Andrew, with a most loving lover?
silly question.
all i can say is who ever the loving lover is, that better damn well love YOU or kick their sorry ass out the door. lol
i don’t any crap from anyone any more, and i expect you to do the same, and no i am not talking about same sex….although i suppose that would be ok too!
lol
by now Rosie is laughing her ass of again…lol
just deny you’ve got anything to do with my problems. Clear denial – honest swear-to-God denial. Clear and indisputable.
drama drama drama….shesshh….you’d think the sky was falling….
i was born and raised in a beautiful country setting of gravel roads, of my entire youth, of carefree fun loving spirit at one with nature.
i am way out of my element living in this cold city of steel, concrete and glass, of the only thing that keeps me here, and barely that i might add, is the loving brothers and sisters who greet me each day with sincere approach like we do daily.
what amounts for one to be of their happiness, may not be the same for another, where in truth, if there is no sincere desire for the other to be in their life, then in truth, the other feels the lack of sincerity, do they not?
So it always starts and stops with our own inner embrace of sincerity for another, feel it, what ever it is, then move in the direction which is best for you, of where happiness is able to thrive and grow within you day after day, of our inner child to do so.
We all have commitments, but none greater is the commitment to self to embrace their own happiness of the life they lead, be it of whatever orientation it is, it is YOUR LIFE, no one elses, and as for those of you who have loving families and children, don’t think that your children don’t detect if or whether you are sincerely happy or not, trust me, they do.
So sort out what needs sorted, just as i have done, and go live YOUR LIFE YOUR WAY with someone of YOUR CHOICE, and do not leave the decision for someone else to make, albeit, someone else may have already made up their mind for you, albeit, eventually someone you meet will, albeit, maybe you too already have.
lol
ya, i don’t have anything to do with what ever your problems are…
i am just am merely a passerby in your life, of someone who admires another who may be of the same comprehension as your own.
i don’t really care what anyone thinks of me, including you.
the thing i remember most as a youth, was how i sincerely felt my feelings of what ever those feelings were.
i hated school from the first day, always of an insecure one who walked among them, where i actually had problems walking in hallways the entire time of my school years, and even today of walking among others in public.
i identified it as the innappriateness of others which i feared, where today, not so much any longer, where i value my level of sincere feelings and approach with another, which is of a higher level than most, albeit within everyone is the subconscious yearning of their own sincere knowingness and memory of sincerely feeling their own feelings, however submerged they may be.
so ya, i am so ready for one like myself.
opppsss….my spelling is failing again….
Thank you.
I apologise.
I have been under stress over this.
I am very happy now.
Time for bed.
XXX
I’ll start to trust you soon, I promise. Seriously. But give me time.
I guess we’ve both been through a lot. It ain’t easy.
If things work out, we’ll have done remarkably well. Against all odds.
You’re really being nice, aren’t you? You’re really making an effort. I really appreciate that.
I am almost moved!
Right, it’s far too late. Bedtime.
Night night.
X
ha.
my explained to my therapist how i hesitated for the last two years or so in exiting my 12 year relationship over abandonment guilt, and fear of the whole drama thing that usually comes with breakups, my psychological stuckness…normal.
She said,” ah, so you left along time ago!” as she smiled the reassuring smile my inner child needed to feel ok about feeling, as i too smiled and laughed inside, exclaiming, “Yes! i did!”
She said, “And so how is that process going for you now?”
i said, “Very good actually, just a few more boxes to pack for the moving van to pick up and deliver, graciously doing so, keeping the friendship of 12 years with my ex intact, for sake of him, and for sake of me too, as i am a kind and considerate one of loving sincere feelings for everyone, not ever dambing of anyone as completely bad, as that is not realistic, rather we all have our idiosyncrasies, and psychological stuff, that they can keep, belongs to them, not me!”
ya, me too…almost moved…a gracious one i am.
i don’t screw around, as much as some may think i do, of their own insecure self.
i am very respectful of another in disclosing the truth about me…openly more so than most any in life, in my opinion, not many as fearlessly open like i am.
i think it was because of the massive impact of Troy in my life, where i did hide my feelings away from him, which resulted in what happened, fucking egotism i once was of.
my openness is not of ego, and rather the death of ego, fearlessly expressing everything about me, from sexual orientation, to whatever i feel like talking about, indeed, it is because of Troy that i became as fearless as i am today, as well as the fearlessness of my loving brothers and sisters along the way, where indeed, we have all become so fearless, have we not, in the GLBT community?
i mean WOW! look how fearless we all are!
anyway, ya, i am nearly moved to my new flat, forever free of the harmful effect/affect of inapprorpiateness of other people’s psychological stuff, which is theirs, not mine….there is the line….lol
for me, it’s not about trust, or holding onto anything other than our friendship which will last forever, that you can count on.
rather, i am just going thru the motions of my detanglement of another, setting my spirit free, faultering somedays, but it is a most extraordinary freeing sensation for me to say the least.
i do not have any expectations of anyone, and that is how i wish to fly from now on, free of fear in anything they may say or do, their stuff, not mine.
my attitude is so much healthier and genuinely happy of being free of worry about what anyone thinks of me, fuck that, did that for years of my life for many decades, including my experience with Troy, which was lack luster at times, of which most would not of gone as far as i did with him, where today, maybe holding on too long was unhealthy for both of us at the time, both of the psychological stuckness of getting past and out of our feelings of denial we held back from one another, mostly Troy, not me. anyway…
So yeah, why worry about what anyone thinks of us.
i have seen myself come across some truly beautiful loving souls in life, glad i was of fearlessness in getting myself out and about in order to do so, where they became enthralled with me as well, which is what i realize what works for me, of likeminded excitement about life, exuberant and always bright, that of our inner child’s sincere joy of life, not weighed down like so many are, their own worse enemies, be it whatever they fail to address, such as a horrible job environment of innappropriate immature others, family, friends, lack of good friends, their own approach to well being of physical/mental/emotional/spiritual/sexual well BEing….all vital areas of concern which must be addressed or fail ourselves in the end when we don’t, where it is easy for us to don’t, of the familiarity dynamic of so many in life who don’t….it really is boring for me out here most days!
anyway…i am doing really good, so relax about me.
if anything, i will be at the very least a much healthy pen pal friend to you, more if you like….that was a hint!
i don’t want to just toss myself at someone, as it does not work for me when i don’t detect a sincere interest from them for me…we feel the difference, do we not?
sweetest of dreams Love.
OOOXXX
hmmmmm….
$10 Million for an idea to change the world,
Hu,
hey google
I got an Idea
Pay Madonna $10Million to sing “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” to me in my bedroom lol..
That will change the world
Now get out of here… as she would say …
It won’t be easy, you’ll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your love after all that I’ve done
You won’t believe me
All you will see is a girl you once knew
Although she’s dressed up to the nines
At sixes and sevens with you
I had to let it happen, I had to change
Couldn’t stay all my life down at heel
Looking out of the window, staying out of the sun
So I chose freedom
Running around, trying everything new
But nothing impressed me at all
I never expected it to
[Chorus:]
Don’t cry for me Argentina
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don’t keep your distance
And as for fortune, and as for fame
I never invited them in
Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired
They are illusions
They are not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time
I love you and hope you love me
Don’t cry for me Argentina
[chorus]
Have I said too much?
There’s nothing more I can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at me to know
That every word is true
Have I said too much?
lol
Blame ANdy
he put this in me !!
get it out, it hurt’s
who does not want to feel loved?
we all feel love when ever we choose to feel love?
seems i feel love for everyone, and i don’t know what to do?
it’s like that
it hurts
but free i must be, of God who chose me…
…to BE….free to just BE me.
ya, i remember those lyrics…they really cut thru at the time…still do?
“What you look for has already come.”
just love everyone,
that is ok too do too, two
my spelling is bad i know
ha
oh, very funny Marco.
i just don’t want to hang on to dreams like i have of many in life, when love was not true…
so many there are who lead us on to nowhere bridges…
can you believe they built a bridge to nowhere?
these guys and their giant art peices, i tell ya.
in the name of art it has all been worth it for so many who felt and will continue to feel it.
but the artist i feel needs something real for their best work to come out.
ah, everything in life is created for a reason ( by the self ),
Change occur’s when the lesson is truly learnt not before not after.
except maybe for my favorite shirt’s i alway’s hang on to them. ok take the shirt off my back then
i can’t believe these giant motherfucker money producing giants are squeezing the balls of hard working class tax payers for money?
that is intolerable.
it’s like somebody with a gambling problem coming to us and asking if for money to keep gambling…
in truth….that is exactly what it is…a serious gambling problem on a huge scale….
well we will just see if this stupid gambling is brought to a stop, and maybe the world can return to normal levels of existence of what is normal…those of us who work for an honest living, the working class citizen of the world, not all you useless gambling junkies at your desks too lazy to go work for a living, and now they come and scare everyone they will lose more.
i feel that fueling these gambling mentalities is what is futile, of where we will just find ourselves back where we are today.
what happened to the accounting principles we used to adhere to of good business?
this just makes not sense…it is cut and run from the loses before they lose more. The courts should be the ones to decide this one, no one else.
you seen those huge paintings at the Louvre Museum
slap bang there taking up the whole wall some of them, pictures of Angel’s and all… huge, LOL
it is all about the over speculators, pure and simple…
why not let the chips fall where they are supposed to, seeing the obvious uselessness of over speculation in markets which is the cause for where they have arrived at.
just like the money marketing buys to cut and run, leaving their damaging gambling mental fuckedness in their wake…well too bad.
crops in a farmers field only grow at certain rates of growth.
there is a lesson in that, is there not?
it is all a ploy everyone, and an opportunity for the opportunist to once again be part of our hard working class society which make up the bulk of society, where it is the courts who see thru these ones who sit apon thrones of utter nescience….
they won’t get their green light for 700Billion guys…trust me on this one…no way.
oh stop teasing me Marco! lol
and just get your sorry ass over here…now damn it…before i change my mind….
…not that i will ever change my mind if one day you come to your senses and let everyone know the truth…whatever that is…
i am loving…this i know…of whoever is loving of me…that won’t change for me…
the one piece of mind i do have…
well…one thing a farmer knows…the sun comes up each day, and his crops continue to grow year after year, able to feed his loving family.
that is the disconnect in a society of opportunists lurking to take advantage, wielding of their fear mongering, rather than taking responsibility for their actions in the first place.
no…what do they do…they cut and run.
what they used to call fly by night operators.
well good riddence to the lot of you, where in truth, global societies will eventually be better off without you, and truly, would of been better off today without you, would they not….bullshit…all liars and deniars of gambling addiction.
and now their asking Johnny who works for minimum wage for $2300 of his hard earned money, barely able to pay his rent and for the food on his table.
well people…that is about as low as it gets, these opportunists and their scheming ways.
see the ugly truth everyone of the insatiable desire of greed these opportunists are, where they should not ever be able to come to the hard working class citizens for money ‘they lost’ and never made in the first place, all of their over optimistic gambling speculation, which is cause for inflation in the world guys.
so who’s side are we on, theirs? or we who know the value of a dollar?
not that i care at all about money….
did i say slap bang, sorry,
the truth is coming Andy, so start tickling..
ahwa i’m going
one track mind,
talk soon,,xoxo
i see us all as classmates of the fun loving school of life, where if some beautiful day in my joyfulness of fun loving spirit out in the sunshine, someone comes up to me and kisses me, and says to me, “i fucking adore you Andy!!!”, where Andy does not say a word, and instead gracefully holds out both of his hands in front of him to hold, and then while holding their hands, leans in for a long sincere loving kiss, as the two lovers let go and surrender to the moment, now hugging one another in the middle of the street, still kissing one another, of no care in the world for anything other than the pure delight of exceeding joyfulness within the two of them, of two individuals who truly do love one another as equals in life forever more, of no need for words of how they truly feel for one another inside both of them….where they both know how the other feels for them.
LOVE
marco….it is you who brightens my day, each and everytime….”i fucking adore you!!!”
who has time for the motherfuckers anyway…so boring in all their uselessness of negativity. fuck that. let’s get married!
oh yeah…i forgot…we already are…spiritually.
i ask Marco, “how is it possibly that you and i will ever not BE loving soul mate friends, knowingness of our tenderness and sensitivity of lover for each other, which feels genuine and sincere inside for us both?”
i am radiant and brightness of exceeding joyfulness of joyful tears inside, of having a best friend like you, who truly feels like a best friend in life to me. thank you.
“now fucking kiss me damn it!!!!” lol
i keep sensing a delicate lightness of the exceeding joyfulness of my child within who was fearless and fun loving as a child, happy most days, sincerely loving of his life of whatever he become curious about, in his many interests of music, science, mathematics, nature, sports, friends, but nothing compared to his wholesome loving feelings he felt for some of his most beloved childhood friends, of his cousin David being one of them, eternally loving of each other, insane in the brain the way the two would carry on laughing at the entire world of boring morons around them, ever of the entertaining of each other and everyone around them…ya, i was an exceedingly joyful fun loving child, and it is my knowingness of how i felt which is returning to me yet again, where in truth, who has time for boring negativity or emptiness of victim mentalities which snare so many…been there, not me, other people’s unresolved stuff the project on to us, not mine, they can keep it…
come on Marco…let’s blow this popsicle stand and get out of here!
we you won’t regret it. trust me, just as i trust you, for i feel your tender loving fun loving spirit so much like my own. We would be stupid to ever turn away from one another, having come this far, so fearlessly, so growing of love within in delight of one another.
damn, i have a real friend in life who feels sincerely enjoying of me as much as i am of them.
well, it’s about time i found someone like me!
hey…i have interesting question for everyone to ponder…and i want you all to seriously ponder this, ok, because i doubt anyone has sincerely reflected on the truth of this question which is truly revealing of my fearlessness of asking the question.
“Is there any difference in the experience of orgasm for a female or a male?”
So how is a male different from a female in this reguard, when orgasmic experience is the same?
that’s what we have all failed to fully embrace in life, the male and female are not any different at all, physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, spiritually…albeit different as far as healthy approach being addressed at the individual level.
so why do we all put all these indifferences between us all, which hinder us from all loving one another as equals, of true equality love like that which those of the GLBT community are of knowingness of?
why?
fear.
fear of not being loved.
fear of the stupidness of rejection.
well…reject me all you want motherfuckers, but remember this, i will always be there to kick all your sorry asses year after year, with who ever decides they want to be with Andy.
not to worry, Andy ain’t about to settle for anything but the best of you, who are sincere cognitive healthy approach to their life at an individual level, be it male or female, where in truth, Andy loves his orgasms as much as the next guy/girl.
oh hey, now that is some open minded discussion, yes?
love it.
i love both the male and the female equally, where as a lover, i have spent countless hours with both over the last 30 years.
truly, i love the female body as much as i do my own, perhaps more, where i used to fantasize of being a female myself, and still do, so who could love a female more than another female?
oh hey, now there is some of the most refined bisexual openness ever written.
for me, it’s not about sex in deciding who a partner is, rather it is about the openness and healthy emotional well being of another, who is of sincerity of their increased value of love over everything else in life.
that is who works for me, for us all, where i merely want to smile each and every waking hour of someone sincere thankful and lovingly appreciative of me in their daily life.
if i don’t feel that with, of, and for someone, i won’t be with them, that you can count on.
as for orientation, Andy loves his orgasms as much as another male does, as much as another female does, where all of us, love orgasm, do we not, male or female, be it with male or with a female, of we who are of the male or female body, no different from one another in our love of orgasm.
stop it Andy, your making us all… lol
love your bodies people, knowingness of just how sincerely Andy loves both the male and female body…equally…without doubt.
especially the west indian girl Andy almost married long ago, regrets of not have done so.
i’ll be in the hot tub if anyone is looking for ‘me’…;)
of all the things i love most in life thus far, is my coming fully into the knowingness of the ‘Equality Love’ we all sincerely feel in the GLBT worldwide community.
so take any doubt about whether Andy will ever stop loving any of YOU and cast it away, for i have loved ALL of YOU for decades now, and i will always BE LOVING of ALL of YOU till my last day, where my art will be left for the world to see, just how much Andy truly did love us ALL.
blessings to all this blessed day forever more.
bless you
ok. back to the open discussion of inflation and why we need to avoid it, for sake of us the working class and for sake of third world countries caught in the inflation rising which has been crippling them for the past few years.
here is what is best for everyone guys, of the correct thinking which is not of concern for the those who sit apon the thrones of nescience of their self serving dictatorship(only way to categorize them, as they are not telling us the truth about inflation which is of the tax payer concern which pays for these thrones they sit apon guys, ‘we the people of our countries, of we the tax payers’, who we can all say to hell with these money greedy self serving gamblers of their lies, deciept and denial of their self serving gambling addiction who TRULY do not give a fuck about us, as you will soon fully grasp the reality chech i shall present here.
read this;
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-causes-inflation.htm
the concern of the many outweigh the concern of the few.
fuck you guys and your lies and decieptfulness of wanting to print and borrow money to keep your over speculation of con artist false market values who cut and run, crying when we all see thru your scheming ways of conning us, and indeed, dictating to us of your self-serving approach with us, who don’t even consider the child starving in third world countries of your false con-artist approach.
had you of you opportunists not been among us the past ten years, the child starving in the world today could afford a loaf of bread, which they cannot, you fucking heartless jackasses.
rant over.
where’s my coffee?
“oh for fuck sakes, what do you mean it costs $10 for two cups of coffee?”
fuck that, let’s go somewhere else…
lol
if the feds bail out the banks which don’t give a damn for anyone in the first place, never did, then we will see an inflationary depression in the coming decade, and who knows what the banks and government will cook up in their think tanks of lacking concern for us in their on going dictatorship with us.
what we need is a global world bank of our money, of zero interest, and say to hell with all the banking jerkoffs, which Jesus always did depise. lol
i think we have that already, don’t we, the union banks?
picture it….zero interest bank loans of OUR hard earned monies!
just perfect! lol
then we can use the monies to invest in our on going business development of fair market values, without these henchmen lurking around dictating to us.
what do they think we are, fucking idiots?
liar liar, someone set them on fire! lol
opppsss….i just made some more enemies…damn.
so what is it exactly…it is the two world’s seperating apart from one another, those of real work class stiffs(slaves), of real concern feelings of equals for all of us the world over, and those who control it all(masters), who are lying to us, of no concern for us all as equals, all of their heartless insatiable desire for wealth.
well guys, they need us, and it is we who hold the power, not them.
what we need is leaders who give a sincere fuck about us.
either way, what ever way we go from this cross roads, the truth will catch up with everyone eventually, of an inflation depression, or a real depression of surplus supply and demand, which is better for all, because of how cheap everything is….FIRE SALE everyone…80% off!
finally we can afford to buy things at what they truly are worth, without the money middlemen and all the gurus of sales rep, who were always so condescending with us anyway, were they not?
lol
love it.
oh hey look…coffee and a bagel for two bucks…good looking bucks too! lol
sorry…im bored….i really need to get off your blog…sorry.
well ok…im not sorry.
what it really is fundamentally is stupid business decision making and the disconnect between thirsty banks who participated with them.
oh hey Billy, whatcha building?
Billy says, “700billion dollars with of realestate!”
why?
Billy, “Because it is so easy to make money at these over inflated prices and sell it to the morons who actually buy them!”
oh really?
well Billy, have fun with your 700 billion worth of vacant realestate that is really not worth what you want people to believe it is worth and won’t buy into…as most cannot afford them. People are not as stupid as you think Billy.
In proper business, you always keep a finger on the pulse of the market demand. Those who go around in over production of demand, well, that’s just dumb business decisions guys, of all who participate with them…your own worse enemies.
i will just wait until the value hits the true value of 80% of the value you want us all to believe it is, when it is not.
sorry…80% off that is, as i cannot afford it at today’s over speculated prices and the banks upping their interest rates, who are 90% of the money behind these over priced developments.
ya, it’s all a con-artist game people…of slave/master.
truthfully, i personally checked out of the so called American dream, happy with a paint brush in my hand, coffee and bagel in the morning, a dedicated artists with more free time than i ever had, and no stress guys…i am not about to return ever again to my previous approach of life, so you can all keep your bank loans, and your over priced houses and coffee. i will make my own thanks, with my own money from now on.
hey, now there is an idea…teach people how to build their own house without using bank money, showing them how much money they can make working on Saturdays and Sundays building their own home at a cost of only the materials to build it…no realistate fees, no bank fees, no labor fees…
…ah, they will all catch up with me eventually anyway, the government and their ways of taxing us, their buddy bankers who come with laws to stop me, with their court law makers injecting of laws, of the slave/master relationship they egotistically love with us all, who don’t really love us.
Truth
lol
Jesus would love my ideas, yes?
he always did despise the slave/master relationship of the precious loving souls so easily conned by the by those of the desire for slave/master relationship with his loving brothers and sisters so naive and gullable.
not me. not ever. cya.
OK, imagine you come to me and ask to borrow 20 quid off me, but you promise to pay me back. And I agree. And then next week you come back to me and say “Oh, sorry, I now realise I can’t afford to pay you back, bye”. Then how is that my fault? If you can’t pay back the money I lent you then how is that my fault?
Jesus said “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s” – I know that bit. Pay back what you owe, basically.
I would never take out a loan I could not afford to pay back.
ha.
give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar…the finger. lol
i have ideas to truly change the world and eliminate the banks….but i cannot do it alone.
i am a simple country boy from the fields, who watched the crops grow from the previous rain.
i was no slave to the world then, and i have returned once again to the carefree mentality of my youth, leaving the world behind, leaving behind my art work of what matter to me, my only motivation now, art, music, writing.
Here you go:
“Interpretations include the belief that it is good and appropriate to submit to the State when asked, that spiritual demands supersede earthly demands but do not abolish them, or that the demands of the state are non-negotiable.”
http://tinyurl.com/gc2sd
i love it…fully reconnecting with and restoration of Andy, who has patiently been waiting for years for me to allow Andy to do what he only ever enjoyed doing…loving life.
The thing is that gets me about bloody hippies, they don’t mind dropping out of society and smoking dope 24/7 as long as they can still pick up their welfare cheques.
there was a time when neighboring farmers would get together and freely rebuild a neighbors barn if it was struck by lightening and burned down….’equality love’.
they not only relied on each other, they were all friends of Sunday get togethers, of loving family, and kids forever at play, true spirits of the earth and nature, of a prefered life style of no stress….i miss that life actually.
Mind you, as to whether it is a good idea for the government to bail-out the banks is another question. You could do an awful lot with 700 billion dollars.
I suppose, at the end of the day, if you’re lending money you should only lend what you can afford to lend. Financial prudence works both ways.
yah, it’s true…i know those type…not me.
i am not about welfare…i am one of the hardest working carpenters that ever lived…i started working on the farm at a tender young age, not ever afraid of work, rather of the enjoyment of physical labor.
what i am not interested in doing again is the retail management….way to much stress for any human being to sign themselves up for.
ya…prudence is the word.
that is not what was driving them. They stepped away from healthy business practices, and now they want everyone to help them stop the bleeding of their self inflicted injury.
nah…let the lessons be learned, and stop asking the slaves to give more blood than they have to give.
it’s gotta break sometime, and indeed, it is breaking.
i can’t believe the short-sightenness of the government not addressing inflation which has hit the world over the past few years, and what was causing it.
Well, I suppose the key thing about crisis management is that you need a crisis. And I don’t see no crisis, not yet. I sometimes think we forget what a real crisis is.
I’d let a few banks more banks go bust, then see if a crisis ensues.
“Another thing worrying Congress is that bailing out banks that have made bad decisions will encourage them to take even greater risks in the future – the so-called moral hazard problem.”
Ain’t that the truth. If someone fails to pay back his mortgage, ain’t no way the government is going to pay it for him.
as for the slaves to insatiable greed of wealth, well, those lessons are going to be learned too, either way in the coming decades.
At least make the banks suffer a bit first, isn’t it?
what needs to happen and is happening…finally…is people don’t trust the banks anymore…nor should they ever have in the first place, as the bank is not interested in their lives in the first place, from a spiritual perspective or mental emotional well being.
banks are self-serving, not different than a casino.
banks are heartless, the do not loose…they cut and run, and go party somewhere in the world with their theft….pirates.
I need go get some food. I have to go out go get food. Food go get go out go get out go go food.
oh hey…i’d make a good president, yes?
banker comes to the door knocking for new laws for his pirating, and can he borrow some more money for his scheming ways…
Andy says,” who they hell are you? who left the door open for you to get into my art studio?…get out! fucking idiots. lol
If you think about it, banks – unlike factories or shops or any other commercial outlet – do not supply you with any sort of physical, valuable good at any time. The sole purpose of a bank is to relieve their customers of their money. It’s never a trade as they have nothing to give you. Even if they lend you money, they end up receiving more money than they give. If they give money as a result of insurance claims, they still always receive more than they give. The sole purpose of a bank is to take money from people. That is their function in life.
ya me too! lasagna…i love lasagna!
yep!
gotta love their $10 monthly fees which costs them next to nothing for the automated computers they use, all of excees ancient micro-computer chips from decades past, bought out of Japan by the pound from the warehouses which still stock pile them.
i could run a world bank for probably less than 100,000 per month, all via internet, no checks, no paper currency, all microchip cards people can reload from the home PCs using the plugins needed we send to them free of charge.
Madonna has been scammed, anyway. Not only is she playing in some dodgy “Montenegro” village (I’m still not certain there’s even a country called “Montenegro”) but she’s playing on a beach! Really! On the pebble beach! They’ve already nicked all her towels. She better do a runner quick after the show or they’ll be nicking all the lights and equipment and all the costumes. It sounds like a bloody zoo.
It’s never a good idea to go to these hot countries where you have to buy bottled water and you get the runs.
I just hope Madonna doesn’t get the runs before her show. It would be awful doing a two hour show with the runs.
deposits can be done automated via the internet from the place of business.
no fees
low low interest on interest, as there is no overhead.
that’s what the banks need, a serious contender to compete with that they people can trust.
I’m off to get good British food I can trust. Right, bye.
becareful what you eat…
bottled water and only fruit you slice yourself, as they do rinse….
oh what i am saying, you are a jet setter who knows far more than i likely ever will.
pebble beach…sounds fun.
Oh, Candy Boy, how right you are. If you ever need sensible travellers advice, I’m your man. Don’t eat the fish either, and never sit on the toilet seat. You can catch all sorts.
Right, food.
ok. im bored now….
man eh?
hmmm….you are such a tease! lol
hey, you like my bisexual writings? mind opening, yes?
it comes from the equality love of the GLBT community we have felt for decades.
why do i feel like kissing you all the time?
man eh?
well, if you were a lesbian, that would make alot of sense…but the fish part…i though lesbians love fish?
im bad…i know.
Right, food.
~ catcha later…
Rosie’s right…
the more i think about war torn Iraq, the more i think it would make more sense to offer everyone there one million dollars to board a plane and come to America, then we would have a clear line of sight the warring factions who chose to remain, and may as well claim Iraq as another state, seeing how much we have paid for it….and i am not talking about money here….the thousands who paid their lives for the land. fuck it. It’s ours.
as for the money, it would be far more cost effective to do this, and recoup the monies in future oil reserves.
they can preserve their culture like many do once they get here….
it’s just a desert guys, i mean come on…they can all go back for a visit as tourists after the dust settles.
the warring factions hide amongst the civilians, making impossible to bring settlement to the desert.
now that’s brilliance, yes?!
admit it…it’s ours now….we can share the wealth of any oil revenues with the generations who come…and regain full stability in the process…who is going to come up against in the world anyway…nobody with half a brain.
we could strike a deal with all the other countries, including China, to divide up the much needed energy supply in the future, keeping it as desert of oil for everyone of the world economies, which is what we all are now…so who is going to bicker with us…no one.
the just quarantine the entire area like they do area 51, no one goes in, no one goes out except by one exit, via aircraft out of Bagdad, all others stopped and question why are you in here….you have to leave.
just thinking out loud guys….don’t mind me…im bored.
Madonna will be jumping around on the beach round about now.
It’s not even sand. Pebbles apparently. Really hard on the feet doing that dance stuff.
In front of 50,000 boozed-up leering Montenegran farmers. Not good.
Nobody here?
Have the Moldovans captured her? I fear the worst.
We’ll have to pay a ransom to get her back!
Ten goats.
Right, I’m off to bed. Night night.
X
(We would insist on getting the towels back as well or the deal’s off)
opppss…missed ya again…i was bored so i went i did some more work.
towels…yes…i need towels…thank you for that! lol
your funny…mold ol’ vans.
who writes for you? lol
no bail out….
Sen. Richard Shelby, ranking Republican on the Senate Banking Comittee, emerged from the White House to declare of the bailout plan: “It will not solve problems, it will create more problems.”
glad to see they have a few smart ones at the helm.
ohhh….she is gonna love this one!
wake up guy’s
Financial Meldown !
staged world event !
to keep Bush in power !
emergency rule !
lucky aliens Rule !
your all so dumb
human’s seriously
wake up !
I thought this was bang on the money:
http://tinyurl.com/52lccl
ya.
we just ordinary people living ordinary lives, where some of us got caught up in the zeal of investors over ambitious speculation of false market values which they created, plain and simple, a crap shoot.
It is not a crisis, as much as these very zealous ones which created the false market values, now bleeding, would like us to believe it is.
Rather, it is an adjustment, loss, call it whatever you want…it is an adjustment of time over valuation of current market values….which always settle however long it takes, where time is the only thing that is needed, where time has to pass until things settle, and will, inspite of all the crying going on, which is of those who are bleeding financially from their own gambling addiction of their own self inflicted injury which comes with gambling addiction, dragging alot of others along with them.
Personally, i find it all rather amusing and funny how they have managed to get the president of a country all wound up in their little pity party, of ‘oh poor me, i lost everything in my (denial of) gambling addiction, can somebody please help me?”
And of course, the banks being the casino, have their pit bosses do what they do, clamp down, and send everyone home, closing it’s doors, knowingness of the many they all have lured into signing of the once low mortgage rates, legally holding them where they always had them, intentionally, where the banks don’t loose, they simply take your house, bail out the back door with all their net proceeds they netted at the card table, and taking your house as you leave the building.
The banks always held the power, legally speaking, and now they have treasury power coming on line, as the pit bosses sit back and squeeze everyone’s balls with their ability to instill fear into everyone, including the leader of the country, saying to everyone, “oh, we are going to close our doors, and we are going to take away your gambling chips(credit) if you don’t co-operate.
well, if the courts don’t see thru these pit-boss mentalities who are running the show, and call it what it is, then we will likely set up the card table for them to come again and roll us one more time like they always have thruout history people, always in control, gladly taking the family home from you if you fail to have the ability to make payments on the second mortgage they gleefully had you sign, all nice and legal of course.
People are treated like potted planets in this regard, but in the end, these potted planets will be less likely to play their silly card game again, in their hesitation to do so, having lost the family homes, in having come to the reality check of having been treated like potted plant, owned and controlled by another, which is what is taking place, “You get no more credit(water) and you have to mover yourself out of our container(pot) on your own.
Well, in the end, these potted plants become much healthier on their own, indeed, make their way in life, much wiser to their own weaknesses of the sweet talking pit-bosses PR specialists, irregardless of where things go now.
The banks run the show people, and now they want to run the country by tapping into the treasury, which does not exist, and they may want to be looking at an even greater problem that may come in the future, if we allow these muscle bound pit-bosses to have their way with a treasury which is already way over it’s threshold of healthy survival, albeit, there is some 3 trillion in annual taxes collect.
anyway…just my two cents worth.
it was all gambling addiction folks, of some crafty casino mentality bankers and their minyuns, who have all decided to retreat to another country and relax for awhile in their posh places, without concern for all the job loss, all the vacant houses which the built, and took away from you, all nice and legal too, where they will now sit back and let their legal team sort it all all out, laughing the asses off at how easily they manipulated everyone, where they will not lose financially, but they will lose our trust after all is said and done, and restrictions come and treat these bankers the way they should be treated, as casinos, and not allowed to legally manipulate the market and economy like they do and always have, leaving the table like they do, after knowingly created the whole mess in the first place.
get over it everyone…it’s just the lure of money that snared your minds, and the cute guys behind the desk.
lol
the thing for me, i was a member of a family as a youth, and the banks took our family home, which stripped away my sense of security when it all happened.
there are real life emotional considerations here that these banker dudes don’t give a fuck about…stability, and that is cause for stressful self-medication behaviour of drugs and alcohol where all are concerned, and that is my primary concern.
but in the end, some of us survived, and become healthy and wise.
i am one who survived the pit-boss mentality some 30 years ago, gladly punching him in the face today.
lol
come on everyone…let’s head to the beach, play some volleyball, get stupid and have fun, which is free for us all.
give the banks what they want….their empty vacant house back, and wait for the fire sale, where it is we who control them, and not they way they want us to think.
we’ll just see who’s in charge around here, and always were.
besides, everything is too over priced now as it is, inflation which came from their heartlessness, worldwide damage.
don’t trust them again guys.
use the union banks who treat us better…take a stand.
ah…nobody is listening…i am wasting my time.
i picture a different world than today, without banks, without heartless greed which is causing one billion children to be in poverty today, all because of the lure of wealth being of greater value in the heart and mind of many.
if some of you suffer, let me say this, your are not suffering…rather the ones who are truly suffering, are not even of your awareness of suffering from the ill effects of the lure of wealth which currently snares all your hearts and minds.
my concern is this mentality won’t ever change, so long as we go about in all our better than everyone else false mentality…duh! we are all equal you morons, same schools of thought, same music, and oh look, we all eat food too.
well now, isn’t than amazing, after all this time, we are all the same!
lol
it’s not entirely a heartless world…i am optimistic, being one who knows all the snares of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, having grown wise in such.
anyway…enjoy the blessed day everyone, of the sunshine above you which is free for you to enjoy, and the birds singing, music playing, people saying…..
the way i see it, they are wanting to try and fix something that is not fixable, using alot of fluff to elude us all from the real problem.
You built how many new construction developments?
And who was responsible for this decision? i see, no one wants to own up to their greediness. oh, i see, you all are cause for the developments of specualtion projects which you knew there was no one to buy them(mostly), and now you have an over saturation of your developments which exceeds demand, because there are no living blood cells to take occupation of this newly formed part of the economic body.
hmmm…well now…that is a problem which you all gambled on. How smart is that?
we used to do 40 million dollar test projects called pilot phase of new condos, and then depending on the sale of those, we would go ahead with the 400 million dollar second and third phase.
So let me see if i am right. You guys managed to convince people to purchase second homes as a business opportunity for them(and for you) and you have been doing this for how long now? 10 years of more(correct me if i am wrong)?
so who is to blame?
and who should suffer the consequences of these stupid enterprising ideas?
all of you.
so now we have a market saturation which exceeds the population growth of a nation.
and you all knew this was approaching, in your words of market saturation, holding your breath as to how much longer you could all keep your jobs.
well now, isn’t this a fine mess.
so now all the construction stops, job loses in the field, job loses in the supply chain, job loses in the service industry, oh wait, there is lots of new jobs poping up in the mental health field over here, dealing with the psychological issues of this new fallout we are entering into, dealing with all you sorry ass motherfuckers!
sorry…i have to make light of these morons father. lol
the only thing that will fix this is that new constraints and priviledges taken away, where economic consideration for all(preferably of global consideration for all) is of those at the helm of these banks and institutions.
here is an idea…why not take your brilliance and use it where it is truly needed, in third world countries, giving employment to the many, new homes, new families, seeing as what you really need is life blood for your economies.
oh i see, that would take too much time, and you just want a quick dollar now, get out, and go retire somewhere. i see. meanwhile the entire global economy hangs in the balance of your absurd enterprising ideas.
they don’t need money guys, as what the real problem is, there is no life blood for these vacant lots, all of their imagination at this point of the population of the nation. oh sure, you may sooth the hurt, but keep in mind, you are fueling the stupid enterprising get rich quick mentalities of those who are all crying over their loses.
the only thing that can heal this is time, where population needs are of realistic demand. plain and simple.
so you all may have to wait another ten years or more(not sure just how far they went past the realistic demand).
i have thought about this alot. what does an economy do when everyone has two of everything? what do they build or create that someone needs?
that is where we are at.
well, if we don’t look at the opportunity of the human heart consideration for third world countries, then we all will soon be like the third world country, where the life blood becomes constricted by those who inject poisonous ideas into our feeble brains, just as they have done, wondering why everyone feels sick now.
oh, it’s about to get a whole lot worse guys, when the supply chain feels this globally.
we need think tank approach of a global economy, where we all participate as a global economy which address the needs in all areas of the world where the demand exists, the life blood of the economy, and we all have to participate as the equals we are in addressing what the economic considerations are.
if we don’t take a humanitarian approach and let go of our million dollar salary expectations, and really embrace each and all as equals in the world, which all of us are the life blood of our now dwindling economy…well…don’t say i didn’t warn you ALL.
the demand is out there, where we merely need to take a hard look at it, how long to transistion thru(next 100 years realistically) before we all arrive at a healthier place and time.
if people are suffering from the illness of heart over greed of wealth, i have no sympathy whatsoever, as they are not suffering, and rather they are feeling the toxic detox which comes with death of the ego, as their divine true self comes forth in the world as a free loving spirit uniting with Power of the Love of the ALL.
One billion children in poverty folks, and the harsh reality of your inflation which was created by all this absurd business decisions, where reality is now coming towards us, which is a good thing, where you are all cause for increased starvation in the world as we speak, such as the 100% inflation rate in Argentina last year, constricting the possible purchase of food to one of my sponsored children and his friends.
don’t get me wrong…i care…but not in the ways of your limited feeble minded comprehension.
you do know true suffering, like that of a starving child, and i have no sympathy for any of you in your emptiness of words and inquality of others from a global perspective.
It is merely a shift in times, that’s all, back to stable life of food on the table, a roof over our heads, just don’t hurt one another while we transistion. Try being nice to each other globally, as that is the only way we should ever feel for one another, sincerely loving of each other, and indeed, we are.
(andy quietly squeaks out the words as he runs for cover from the egg tossing at him) i am…because we are.
well ok…i know i am.
fuck you guys if you don’t know or like me.
honestly, i see you all as a bunch of egotistic fucktards. lol
well ok, maybe not.
remember…we are all God’s loving children at play on the same beautiful beach of life. So try treating each other respectfully, and everything will be just fine.
the governments need to spend the money wisely at this point in time, and let these vacant lots site, in the hands of all those involved.
spend the money in positive realistic growth markets, which is what the stock market is.
people with money should put (THEIR) money into the continuation of the stock markets which exists, and keep all your jobs, and loving family lives.
if you do not see that this is merely of a handful of the population crying wolf over their stupid enterprising ideas, and cause more panic in the existing stock markets…well…don’t say i did not warn you.
banks who want to tighten and pull out…say goodbye to them, and let the couragous institutions stand by us and see us all thru.
do not invest any more into their burning ship of the own creation. it must sink and take their own sickness with them. They can all get jobs at Starbucks, as i hear they are yet expanding.
the service industry is the most growing industry, what with the baby boomer generation now entering into retirement.
let’s pamper them and pamper ourselves in the process with new job creation.
love one another…simple rule, and have fun along the way with your loving lovers and loving families.
ok guys…don’t believe in luck…believe in truth.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
enjoy the blessed days everyone, we only get so many.
12, 971 blessed days to go.
oh, and if anyone has any towels, i hear M needs some towels you may be able to sell her!
lol
love it!
ah, the sun is shining above, just as it always has, just as it always will people…enjoy it, and remember to give each other a hug once in awhile, and i will do the same.
oh, one more thing…Danmark is an excellent example of a country who has been of a bulk of elder population as far as economic consideration and job creation for the lessor population of youth, an excellent example to follow, as they have been that way since 1980s, with their 160% import sales taxes(is it still like that? not sure.)
i like the words of Chris Rock;
Rock, an avid supporter of Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama, spoke with CNN’s Larry King on Thursday. He said Obama is more grounded with your average American — not somebody like McCain with “12 houses.”
“The other guy [McCain] can lose five houses,” Rock said.
“I’ll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.”
and that is really what the MAIN problem IS…people in their over zealousness of home speculation in creating projects which surpassed the demand along time ago, in their second and third home retirement mentalities, unaware of what the banks and economists knew all along, and for some time i might add.
if the shift sees it more economical for renters to pay into a low mortgage rate and pocket some money latter in life(moving money from one pocket to another) of the one home owner, great, but cooperation of the banks to do so needs to continue in low mortgage rates, like they are doing here in Canada, and it is working, although there is a reality check of vacancy rate of renters and owners which may be of surplus demand at current populations.
banks need and all envolved need to channel their focus onto positive growth market sectors like the service industry, and allow the current low mortgage rates to stay as they are, of all hell will break out.
stop with the scare tactics and get REAL, will ya.
i don’t care if you lost a billion or so dollars, and neither does anyone else.
you made alot of money along the way, did you not?
so why hurt everybody in being stupid with jacking it to the life blood and loving lives of you who need us?
we are all in this together as equals, and it is about time we act intelligently and compassionately with one another and stay the course of ONE loving global family, because that is what we are.
i am…because we are.
excuse me guys…i have to appear in court today over demostic disputes which i am yet exiting from.
God blesses ALL.
Bank failures are scary – especially during these times of economic distress.
Washington Mutual, once the nation’s largest thrift and rocked by “bad lending on real estate”, had been reportedly teetering on failure. On Thursday regulators seized the bank and arranged a takeover by JPMorgan Chase.
And experts and banking regulators say that the number of failures is likely to pick up pace in coming weeks and months.
there. that’s what has to happen, is happening, and without doubt, will be the course travelled…so say goodbye to all the bad lending on realestate, which has more below it’s surface than just bad lending on realestate, where it is the banks all along who were pushing developments past saturation levels for along time, albeit, the renter over to owner market is still on going.
Well, that’s nice for you.
I am totally knacked after two really busy days, out and about enjoying the weather and generally having a good time. And it’s same again tomorrow so I’m outta here, totally done in. Sleep well,
X
Hello!
Is been ages! jmjm. I hope everything gets allright soon. Put those worries at the back and smile!
Please can you come to Peru? I see you are going to Chile and Argentina is not fair. i am working as an English teacher in a beautiful school in Huaraz (3, 200 mts above sea level). i will teach my students ” At your majesty pleasure for sure!!! Please come!!!! (to Lima I mean not here at 3,200 mts.)
here comes the big juice squeeze of the economies life blood(our money) everyone, by the banks, all planned, all ideal for them now to pretend there is a problem, when in truth, this is where they cash in on the massive asset grab and high interest rates.
watch and see the truth of how these sharks devour their slaves one at a time.
regulators need to act fast and swift to prevent an all out collapse of this juice extraction squeeze play these institutions are now engaging in.
people are just so feeble minded about how these sharks play ball, not ever to lose, no way, they don’t lose, they play to win.
in truth though, they are not winners at all, no matter who they hurt, the families they place in stressful times of job lose, financial stress, bankruptcy, divorce…no, we are not the losers they want to make us out to be, they are sharks with their only appetite of money.
welcome to the reality of the cold heartless businessworld with no soul.
sorry! “At her majesty’s pleasure”!
please come to lima…ok, sure.
problem though…courts want to take away my travel priviledges to leave the country on the trumped up charges, and i cannot afford a lawyer.
talk about feeling my dreams vanish in front of me, as duty councel spoke with me in front of the judge today, about losing my right to travel, asking if i want to proceed to trial instead of a plee of guilty.
trial it is then. i have month to find a lawyer, a list of university lawyers i can call for free support.
i will get my life back eventually, although it looks like April-May of next year now for trial.
anyway…my shit..not yours.
NEW YORK (Fortune) — When John Dykstra got his September credit card bill from Advanta, a small-business card issuer, he was shocked: Dykstra says he has a good credit score and has never missed a payment, but his interest rate had jumped from 7.99% to 26%.
just an example of the lepards not able to hid their spots.
it’s hilarious what is going on out there in the streets. people who have lost their jobs and all, but still of good spirit inspite of the obviousness of the shrewedness of the business world now showing it’s teeth.
check this out;
http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2008/fortune/0809/gallery.10days_shook.fortune/2.html
http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2008/fortune/0809/gallery.10days_shook.fortune/5.html
i care about people’s jobs and their loving families, which is now obvious, the banks and institutions don’t as they grab assets, and increase their rates.
in the end, people will trash their credit cards, and just say fuck you guys, as the gap between the rich and poor increases and we all take cafe jobs. lol
best of all, none of us will sign up for those stupid credit cards again…never should of in the first place.
but then again, Jesus never did succeed in kicking the bankers and their tables out of the temple….why?…because of the lure which snared their hearts and minds.
anyway…all will be fine as regulators do their job…a massive shift in investment for sure for everyone, global banks now reacting as well, the entire world economy about to feel the shakedown in the coming year, as more banks become nationalized.
it’s all silly to me, like a giant monopoly game, albeit, REAL lives, and REAL families are the ones who feel the impact of who wins and who loses the cash/asset grab…but in the end, it was all just a game, and we will all we come closer together in our opinions of the shrewedness of the businessman/bankers.
one thing no one can take from any of us is our loving feelings for one another, no matter rich or poor, as the gap increases….a silly unrealistic gap that is, as we are all the same.
besides…i’d rather see all of you guys and gals in shorts all summer long, rather than your stuffy business suits…and let’s face it, those air conditioned office jobs are hideous and damaging to the free spirited fun loving soul of us all.
lol
inside, i am smiling, having exited the world some time ago.
i feel so refreshed inside, of a forever at play fun loving spirit, go do what, whereever, whenever i feel like doing…partime job, low low rent…like $100bucks a month…can you believe that?
24 hours a week, nothing but free time on my hands, no stress…oh man…i love my new life…truly!
FIRE(sale)!!!!….everybody get out of the building.
lol
oh wow! i am soon gonna be surround by ordinary people like me, with ‘real’ down to earth feelings.
hmmmm…
The Alien’s have disabled all weapon’s of mass destruction,
they are having a little difficulty with bush’s ego, but that should be resolved by monday
wow! M looks awesome on stage…and i thought i had a great body!
just perfect!
Hey! My first comment here to you. Just wanted to say you look very good for your age, and may you cotinue to inspire people, and live a long a very healthy life. Are you trying to make it to 100 or something?
The secret to a long and healthy life is simple; Eat a healthy *low calorie* diet and exercise. You’re a great role model for what a person at 50 can be like. You look great!
Take care
Matt
Oh yes, of course, you’re welcome to take a look at my blog which has lots of information about how to stay young. I’m part of a real anti aging study that involves lots of testing to see if we are really staying young by doing a Calorie Restriction diet. Since it’s the only real known way to extend lifespan of all animals ever since it was tested in the 1930′s. Blog link is on my username/post.
It seems to work for me since I look about 7 years younger than my real age, and I started CR 5.8 years ago.
Matt
I look good for my age and I eat sweets continually every night until I feel ill. So that puts paid to your theory, Matthew.
Well, Calorie Restriction in animal models (hundreds tested) have extended maximum lifespan by upto 50%. This means, in human terms, having the average lifespan of about 110-130 and changing the human max lifespan from 120 to 150-180 human years depending on the level of restriction. How long one lives is ‘directly’ related to the intake of calories. You best do some research on Calorie Restriction, youtube it or something there are plenty of videos I uploaded. Plus lots of studies on my blog.
The fact you look good for your age doesn’t mean much on its own. Studies have shown in humans the that CR results in practically zero risk for diabets, stroke, heart disease, little risk of cancer, autoimmune disease. Less risk of brain related diseases. Better immunity, slow skin aging, slower muscle decline. Just generally better health. I have all my biomarkers to show that what I do is benefiting me a lot. Very low insulin, low glucose, very low cholesterol, low blood pressure, no inflammation, and also up regulation of longevity genes such as SIRT1. It’s okay if you don’t understand the research, but it’s out there if you take a look
I’m sure all them sweets are doing some harm to you even if you can’t see it on the outside! hehe
I’m so sorry to the moderator of this blog, I shouldn’t even be getting into a debate on someone elses blog! So we’ll leave it at that!
So my last words… Madonna you look amazing! I hope you keep going for many years more
Madonna looks great!
The Daily Mail can insert their trashy story up their rear orifice.
I actually think you have a point about calorie restriction, Matthew. I think we, in the western world, are eating ourselves to death.
However, I know I don’t feel good at all when I haven’t eaten, or missed a meal. And I don’t see how that can be a good thing. I like to listen to my body, you know? I’m I’m feeling rough and lacking in energy because I haven’t eaten enough, I don’t see how that’s ever going to be a good thing.
I think all things in moderation. Don’t eat too much, or too little, and don’t exercise too much or too little. Just do what your body feels is right.
I definitely think Madonna doesn’t eat enough. And she appears to exercise too much. I really don’t like this “taking things to extremes” thing.
Here you are: “weighing too little can increase your risk of osteoporosis and fertility problems, weaken your immune system, and cause other health problems.”
http://tinyurl.com/4jtvly
Now, I’m not saying that article’s right and the other article is wrong. But what I am saying is that you shouldn’t base your life around any extreme article posted on the internet. There’s always another article somewhere with precisely the opposite message.
Everything in moderation (and, seriously, you don’t want osteoporosis)
On a happier note, I’ve had a super day out, and Madonna is playing at the Olympic Stadium in Athens tonight! How amazing is that!
At least, I think it’s tonight. I’m pretty sure it is.
lol
oh, very funny.
ya, it’s good to practice good eating habits while you are young Matt, as that is key for later in life, where alot of people’s metabolism naturally slows down as they age, and with that the usual diet they habitually eat, can become a problem for them later in life, as habits are difficult to change or break free from, as creatures of habit.
110lbs?
and i thought i was slim…i am 5’11″ at 140lbs…apparently i am ideally supposed to weigh 180+ -, but i have lower back disc problems from damage as a youth, where too much weight, crushes the nerves between the already too small a gap for the nerves to pass between the discs(1/4 of normal spacing).
i was showing off in front of Mike weight lifting when the free weights went backwards and i hit my back on something.
Mike…he so owes me big time!
lol
M is about to go on stage…
here is a cute quote i found on the net;
Don’t take life too seriously, as nobody gets out alive anyway. lol
Andy i was thinking about what Jesus was thinking on the cross when he said GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME, it hurt a little not too much, then i thought about JUDAS & how much pain he must have felt for the BETRAYAL even though JESUS asked to BE BETRAYED .. it must have TORN JUDAS ALIVE.. if i was JESUS i would want to heal that PAIN..
Madonna can wait she’s judt the mum, she ain’t a GRANDMA yet, well maybe soon, HEY MADGE how’s your Daughter GOING ? she’s a treasure hey !!!
Norma Jean
nah…the bible is not what people think.
those who know 100% are able to feel the truth of all things.
who knows if Jesus said those words…i doubt it.
Jesus knew 100% God was with him, long before he surrendered to the cross.
what is compelling most about Jesus(which i am still probing) is why he surrendered to the claws of the beast of ignorance for them to kill him.
Why this is so compelling is because of the purity of sincerity level he reached, where i have sensed the feelings of how he was feeling in making his decision, and it is mind blowing to say the least.
It is now what most would think as to how he was feeling in making the decision.
Let me eloborate.
It has to do with someone in the future, that i am certain, where Jesus knew God was with him, and he felt compelled to reveal to someone of the future the full extent of his compassion and level of sincere love for someone of the future which Jesus knew would come to his level of awareness, where it is his own awareness level which, having reached, of his knowing if he could do it, someone else would too. He had no doubt within him in doing what he did, which was more to do with someone in the future, which in doing what he did, knew would give them a message.
what is the message Jesus wanted to convey?
It seems to me he wanted to convey the extent of his level of love for us in the future, where he wanted us to see the most important aspect about love, and that being, “WITHOUT DOUBT”.
As far as i can tell, that is the most compelling reason(which was not a reason, as it was more about how much love Jesus was feeling for others…100%), albeit, he did decide to do what he did, not so much hoping someone would understand, rather, he knew someone would understand, of those who come to the level of sincere love he arrived at. In other words, doing what he did, was of his level for one of the future he knew(without doubt) would arrive at his level of love, and understand it is not 99%, it is 100%, where the act of doing what he did, is what is able to assist one in the future of pushing past the last 1% element of doubt into 100%.
It is in the 100% level which everything opens wide the soul, and love is the only thing which matters, of grace, of wisdom, of beautiful sensitivity levels, like the tenderness of loving lovers.
The 1% element of doubt, is obvious with his followers, is it not? I don’t think his followers grasped that it was about nurturing and protecting their own divine true self from the world which taints, temps, cajoles, entices, belittles, etc….the loving spirit Jesus saw in us all, just as we approach our own mental emotional well BEing, where the words of Jesus are of the healthy approach to mental emotional well BEing.
so yeah, Jesus was a therapist, a good one too!
God did not forsake Jesus.
God was with him at all times as an equal in wisdom.
The church did not know Jesus and God.
It is likely those words written are of those who did not know Jesus and God.
Shutta uppa ya face ANDy
Jesus knew God, and God knew Jesus, just as God knows what is in everyone’s heart, where God wants us to search the bottom of our hearts, and pluck out what is not loving, wise or compassionate, of the many things of the world which taint the loving spirit of the divine true self in us ALL.
freeing of the heart and mind, free from useless stress and toxic feelings which arise from one who does not understand why others behave the way the do, albeit, while we can intellectualize a persons behaviour, and justify it, we are not exempt from our feelings of another’s behaviour, should we become to entangled with them emotionally.
i’m not saying avoid others, just be careful who you select as close friends and lovers in your inner cirlce.
and remember, your bourndaries are flexible and adjustable at any time and to what degree of your choosing.
i will share something special with ya…
Ya, i feel like Judas where Troy is concerned, having betrayed Troy like i did. i should of been there for him.
i was jealous over his girlfriend, unable to trust him anymore, gave up eventually, tired of the pain, but i loved Troy, and wanted to spend my life with him, and deep inside i knew he did too…significant homophobia(internal/external) in our lives at the time, including his girlfriend who made me out to be some kind of perverted deviant evil alien in words with Troy.
She caught us several times actually in bed together. lol
i think that is where i learned to sware so much….as in, “ah f*_&k!!!!!!!!”
lol
so in that sense, Troy was Jesus to me.
And in God’s eyes…i did betray Troy, and betrayed myself in doing at the same time, and lost him in life, although spiritually he is still with me.
i know…i am one f*_&ked up dude.
told ya i was…along time ago.
but i like who i am…i feel everything all the time, and that’s what i love about life…my loving feelings, sensitivity, all of it…the divine true SELF.
Andy work with what you got !
not with what you aint got YET
now where did the Alien GO ?
ok it’s me
i’m the ALien
and your my friend
now can i out my hand on your breast
of life
ya.
i’ve realized the most significant thing in my life is me.
inspite of how anyone treats us…ever…the most significant part of life is our SELF.
in truth, anyone who treats us less than the way we want to be treated, are not true to themselves in their not being true with us.
i have learned, rather than be upset or hurt, or whatever, i am compassionate in my understanding the evolving of self of another, by means of the evolving of my own self, so i don’t really get all wrapped up about how others my treat me, as well as knowing there are other extenuating circumstances, not necessarily to do with either.
so you want touch my breast you say? lol
Troy and i were the faggiest emos that ever walked the earth! Truly! we were! lol
there was an emotional level of trust i had with Troy, which i have been afraid of feeling for another, since losing him, although it is coming out and i am feeling how i once felt with him…which is overwhelming for me, as we were intense the whole time we were together…
without doubt….Troy was/is my closest friend in life emotionally, where we knew we loved another completely…it is a scary feeling to feel that way for someone all the time, knowing you both love each other without doubt.
freindships do feel abit like what we had…but Troy and i could stand being away from each other for extended periods of time…and indeed, girlfriend or not, we always got together and took off with each other…pissing everyone off when we did, as we would sometimes leave for days, weeks.
them bloody tramps is at it again! lol
we only get one pass at living a loving life…be sure to live a loving life…
reality check of where two world’s clash together…neither of which…in truth…realize they are better off without their master/slave co-dependent relationship where financial institutions-banks(investors) is concerned, a relationship of trickery now obvious to see, of the massive asset/cash(high credit rates) grap becomes apparent of the trickery protected by legally signed documents, albeit, the supreme court does protect the consumer(eventually, usually after/during the asset grab of bankruptcy takes place, of institutions who do not play to lose…albeit it, they are losers in God’s eyes, of the heartless consideration and obviousness of their insatiable appetite of greed as the masters devour their slaves once again, a cycle which repeats itself over time, where the hard working slaves lose all of their years of hard working investment, gone forever, stripped of it all, to start over again, all to often to find themselves once again at the same bankers card table of trickery.
I don’t want to say this, but i do feel the massive asset grab and high interest rates now hitting the consumers globally was all a systematic ploy, now with of the average American having the highest debt ratio to income, than any other time in history, prime time ripe fruit for them to now cash in big time.
This institutions know full well the income levels of every single one of their slaves, knowing full well they cannot put out enough to survive, knowing full well they will get all of the slaves assets in the end, stripping not only of their future investment gains, but also of their net worth of assets they once held for years.
i doubt the regulators stepping in to nationalize the institutions are interested in the consumer, albeit, stabilize the economy, but you watch, the interest rates will continue to climb however slowly, as more and more consumers file for bankruptcy, flooding the Supreme courts, where i hope the Supreme courts wake up one day and realize the slave/master relationship of trickery, which will become so obvious by the millions of cases that cross their desks, as the investor(master)/slave gap widens.
In the end, the slaves never needed the relationship, which is a cold calculated business opportunity for the opportunist investors, who do not lose, in their get rich scheming mentalities.
God does not despises this unBEcoming conduct in the temple(God’s chamber of BEcoming conduct), which leads to and fro the hearts and minds of many who become snared by these useless unwisenesses of heart and mind, for both sides of the co-dependent relationship, where in the end, the slave is made to feel like a loser(yet unwise of God’s love for them), as the boastful ignorance of the masters, pride and boastful of their empty vessels of gold they hold up high, empty of love(not entirely) in their boastful ways….
we need regulators at this point to stave off wide spread collaspes of the economies, and avoid what happened in the great depression, such as the starvation which hit hard so many back then, all because of the co-dependent get rich mentalities of the controlling few, which i might point out, did not suffer at all financially during the depression, albeit, in God’s eyes, they were not wise of God’s loving compassionate wisdom which is meant for the divine true self of us all, which does not require any money at all to know and feel, albeit, we do need to survive physically.
and let’s not forget the most important issue of inflation worldwide which is hitting the third world countries who could not afford a loaf of bread before the inflation hit, and certainly cannot today.
where are the leaders in the world who are of forward loving compassion of the Power of the Love of the ALL, able to be of long term consideration of the ALL, as in ALL souls of the earth.
As Bill Clinton says, we ALL need to work together…globally, rich and poor, in our consideration of building out economies at realistic growth rates, and get off this get rich mentality of boastful pride of wealth which is of the stench of useless apathy for another, including the one snared by such useless endeavor and illness of heart.
The only question any of us need to ask is, “How many of God’s Children will die today from unnecessary starvation and treatable desease, in our embracing one and ALL as equals, ALL united as ONE of God’s divine WILL that embraces the divine compassionate wisdom and love meant for the divine Child within us ALL.
God blesses ALL.
we merely need to come away from the unwisenesses of the ignorant teachings of the forefathers which (yet) grip and snare the loving precious hearts and minds of the many loving souls in the kingdom of heaven all around us, for when we do, we come fully into what is of most value in life, of our willingness to increase our value of such….our Feelings, which feels the TRUTH of all things we look(reflect) apon, sight returned to our souls, leading by example for ALL to see and FEEL the truth, we are of God’s divine willingness as loving children of God.
blessings to ALL.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
(just a short surmon today)
here is a reality check look at the face of the slave/master relationships of millions now gripped by the harshness of the relationship which is devoid of love…self-serving systematic trickery in taking advantage of the meek minded;
cnn.com/2008/US/09/27/bailout.real.people/index.html
in truth…the slave/master relationship is not of God for both parties involved.
bankers and institutions alike need to ask, “what will you do when the cash flow stops?”
timely careful consideration of this is of your decision, where low interest rates is the only direction, albeit, i already know you will do the cash/asset grab, damaging the global economies, of absolutely no consideration whatsoever of the meek you intentionall drag thru the mud.
oh yeah, i am much wiser to those of trickery than you may realize.
and proof is on it’s way, where even the regulators are likely all involved in their systematic removal of assets from the hard working class meek.
i am going to track the bankruptcy data which comes in, and one day publish a book on the truth of you who take advantage of the meek for all to read.
oh i know, you will not eat all of the slaves, no, you won’t do that, just squeeze what you can out of them to keep your cash flow life styles going.
anyway…rant over.
truthfully, i doubt the meek of the earth will every realize the truth of the slave/master relationships, albeit, the meek who starve to death daily, FULLY realize the world is not a loving world….FULLY of the feeling of BEing UNloved…not of God’s divine will, but of the useless ignorant teachings of the forefathers which rule the many souls of the earth, all blinded by the insatiable greed of wealth…ok…not all of us….but most.
God blesses ALL, rich or poor(sadly unknowingly for most).
now someone will come along and say, “oh Andy, you are such a socialist,”
save your words with me, and say them to the starving child taking their last breath today for me, will ya?
Truly i say, we are all unwise and meek minded in God’s eyes, seemingly unable and unwilling to humble ourselves before God, where God wants to reward us with the greatest treasure we shall ever find…pure sincere loving feelings of the divine true SELF of us ALL united as ONE as EQUALS.
“such morons father…”
thank you.
I should open a bank called God’s Bank of Trust, where all the monies which you deposit safely, is used properly, only for purchase of materials to build houses which are built by Christian volunteers two days a week, providing the lowest priced homes in the world to any an all who want one, where the monies are safely returned to God’s Bank of Trust, when the home is purchased(at one third the price of any home built today), and put all of you bankers out of business forever!
lol
oh, i am so tempted…
i would have a waiting list well into the next century for the houses God built. ha.
but then i realize you motherfuckers would come along and snap them all up to resell them and make your get rich no labour involved mentalities.
whatever…
we either serve God, and serve our SELF when we do, or we don’t….
here comes the reality of a world without God people…fasten your seat belts for the crash landing….
im bored…
time to go do some more truth revealing art work….
hmmm….how about a useless money lender table in the temple…that sounds fun!
some overweight dudes with pudgy fingers from over eating, beggers near for scrapes of food, hangman lawyer’s evicting tenants…you know…the truth of trickery…
ALL the laziness of the zealots of profits = inflation and lack of ABUNDANCE of love for ALL(starvation in the world).
i always thought about that, that abundance of God’s wealth only comes with those who work diligently havesting crops or building something.
sadly, the world is of the user(draining off of) slave/master relationships which weigh down ABUNDANCE of wealth in the kingdom of heaven for ALL of God’s children worldwide, of those who make these absurd multi-million dollar salaries…ludacris!
sadly, these taught and learned ignorant behaviours won’t change anytime soon, and if anything, we will see more like 50 – 100,000 child starve to death instead on a daily basis in the coming decades.
if the regulators increase rates, it will bleed off growth in the economies, job loss, less cash flow, more job loss, less credit, less competitive business markets, higher inflation.
alternatively, lower rates, more jobs feeding into the glutonous greed of wealth mentalities in their over abundant building of more vacant parts of the economic body, all heading toward the eventual reality check, “oh wait, what are we doing? There is nobody here to buy these things any more?”
lol
finding us all back here again.
What if God came along and said, “You morons, there are lots of poor people out there in the world who would love a job opportunity to build and buy these over priced homes no one can afford, but you have to spend the trillion dollars where the market is.”
hmmm…ya, i guess there is no saving the zealots.
lol
i feel like i am in a really bad movie.
and no, i am not talking about the Zealots of ancient Rome, in their, “i know everything there is to know mentalities.”
although i suppose ‘that’ does apply here in what a Zealot really is, without God’s loving compassion for ALL souls of the earth, not of monetary gain, but of the restoration of the pure sincere feelings of the divine true self of us ALL.
anyway…
enjoy the blessed day everyone…and remember to hug each other from time to time.
time is the only thing of any value guys…time with one another in harmony of loving spirit.
God knows there is not much of that going around these days…in particular for the starving children, all of a world obviously without God’s love in their heart, mind, body, spirit and soul.
kinda obvious, as a whole, are we not?
look to the weakest link(mind), and you will find the truth there which is cause for the condition of the unloving world.
“Crucial Lacking of Desire for God’s divine WILL of Love and Wisdom for the divine Child of God of us ALL.”
this concludes the test of the emergency broadcast network, brought to on BE(half) of the divine true SELF.
lol
“ya…it’s a really bad movie…Come on, let’s get OUT of here!”
A good name for the movie?
~ Salvation and Death of the Egotistic Zealots? ~
i don’t know…but i do know the child in starvation today about to die, knows the truth.
hey, i know, we could call up all the millionaires and ask for their million dollar salaries back the gleefully extracted from the Abundance of the Human Spirit which flows forth.
like that will ever happen…not today, not tomorrow. lol
I suppose it is sorta like the sinking of the Titannic, of the survivors in the limited number of boats and those freezing to death in the water, where in truth, most do not know they already own their own survival equipment…their heart, mind, body, spirit and soul.
but survive this world of useless ignorance…look not to luck, and instead to wisdom of your compassion hearts…or…suffer the consequences.
oh i see…let the meek ones suffer and die…i get it.
oh look…the bridge is OUT up ahead where we can just float across(the room)!
lol
Andy really is a lunatic from the lunatic fringe of hopeless wannaBEs, shouldaBEs, and finallyBE! ha.
can’t get me down…nope!..bin there, done that a few times.
i say this…”How do you save a world that does not want to BE saved from it’s SELF?”
easy…”Lead by example of the loving divine true SELF of us ALL, in knowingness of ‘that’ which is of the only value in God’s eyes, and knowingness of our own eyes, by means of our feelings which restore sight to our souls.”
“Love, love, love, ohhh, and hey look!…more Loves, Love!”
good thing some of us understand one another.
shutting down for awhile guys…no internet at my new place yet….a week, maybe two…internet cafe once a day for an hour or so from here on in…
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
bless you
thank you Jesus. thank you God. thank you to ALL.
_andy
So i say Goodbye to Europe..was so much fun apart from my fucking towels and then in Budva The turntable didn’t come round in time i was pissed , Wembley stadium fining me for over run and falling on my arse in Lisbon, how we all laughed!
Not bad really guys come on…
USA here we come …get ready !!!
P.S Anyone got a towel? xXx
Yay!! Madonna posted here!!!!!!!!!
How do you know A Thomas ?
Because she says she lost her towels, and I know Madonna actually did lose her towels. Also, she says she fell over on stage and I know for a FACT that Madonna did fall over.
She also swears a LOT. Madonna swears all the time just like that.
ah !
Each one of those things would be conclusive evidence on their own, but to have all three together leaves absolutely no doubt:
Yay!!! Madonna posted here!!!!!!!!!!
im just flattered someone care’s, appreciative too..
im not the only one left who loves to help lost souls
im still a lost soul, but less lost these day’s
whats for dinner ?
roast alien on a spit..well done
lol
lol
yah, spit was what we used back then, broke most times…i don’t recall lube being available much back then. lol
that kind of spit?
what?
lovers, family, friends?
an alien to love i seemingly am to some, but those who know me, love to love another like the way i(we) do.
so far i have networked 3 safe and supportive ones into my life, my therapist, Jesus and God.
i love me like i love me of another, like another loves me, forever free to just BE me.
it is what i have been doing all this time, difficult as it has been…i survived, and will survive, knowingness of the loving me in others of the GLBT family.
we are here to stay, even if many do not yet love(know) the me themselves, saying no way, it’s not OK to mock and ridicule me, hurting only themselves when they do.
we know, we love, we survive(d)…
it’s just other people’s shit…does not bother me any more…
they can choose to love me(us) or choose not too…
truly, love is what works for us all, so obvious to feel when they do, so obvious to feel when they do not….their own worse enemies when they do not.
anyway…i am really toxic right now(unhealthy environments i allow myself to be in of recent), and need some down time…i know when i get like this, it’s just other people’s shit….not mine…
looks like the US economy gets a temporary ‘get out of jail’ pass, but in truth, the banks don’t need us as they simply adjust(manipulate) their rates/credit according to what suits them.
personally, i think it is a futile attempt to avoid the truth of the economy which is slowing down not from available credit, but from too much credit, too much high interest rates(now coming into play) which drains the economy, our spending ability now frozen.
thank the banks and their inconsideration of the economy or main street…they don’t really care at all for main street at this point, now that they have everyone right where they want them, by the balls, of the highest dept ratios ever seen in American history.
Truly, the world would be better off without the zealot bankors and investors of these institutions who control the world.
Jesus did try to warn us all, and now the truth is gripping the world of the reality check we wake to each day now, of high interest rates, tighter credit, less disposable income…
do you think the zealot’s care…hell no.
in truth, they created this environment deliberate, and anyone who thinks otherwise is niave…
don’t get me wrong, i don’t care about financial wealth of anyone, as that is not the measure of anyone’s loving soul, rather, it is time the world realizes the truth of these self-emposed prisons we now find ourselves locked in…
destory your credit cards everyone…
pay down your depts if you can, lest they come and take all your assets…
and don’t borrow again from the zealot’s who are not of God’s love, only self-serving, serving no one, other than serving the truth of how they manipulate and control the world.
i can’t believe the how some think we want the credit markets, as though we cannot live without them…
well people…the TRUTH…they want you to think we can’t live without them, even while they tighten their grip on our income and assets…sqeezing the life out of the economy….
ya…welcome to the world seemingly controlled by bankers and business….
They cannot ever control our feelings of loving life though, even though they do attempt to, what with all their fear mongering us into their slave/master relationships we stupidly stumbled into….
in the end…we just won’t trust them ever again…
our own worse enemies when we do…
think about it…how much monies would be available for a thriving economy if no one had to pay any interest ever, and no one had to worry about losing their home/assets.
no only would their be more abundance for everyone to assist those in need, of our willingness to help survive and educate those in need of us, there would be no useless fear like the fear which now grips the world.
ya…the heartless self-serving zealots everyone which have snared us all, cause for all job loss, asset loss, and shrinking of disposable income.
ah well, the bright side is we will all have more down time for quality time together with one another…
this problem will not go away until everyone destroys their credit cards, and wake up to the reality that the world is controlled by the zealots.
anyway…rant over.
perhaps i should keep my writings with Extra magazine and not here?
ok.
government should suspend the priviledge for the zealots to operate in their country, putting a freeze on interest rates which they are hoping will occur in their buying up of the flooded housing market which the zealot’s deliberate did, knowing full well what they were doing…flooding the market until such a time as the housing values have now fallen to 1991 values, all controlled by the zealot investors, who now sit back and jack the interest to the record high debt levels of all Americans(deliberateness of the zealots), freeze credit availability, resulting job loss, resulting asset grab from those who built apon the assets the zealots will now reclaim with the use of their use treasury money….you tax dollars people….
rah, rah, rah, long live the zealots!!!
even the politician is naive in thinking the zealots will ease on interest rates….nope! Mark my words, they will not, as they already know the condition of the housing economy they built….dead.
Now they get to come in and take it all away from everyone with the help of the politicians….utter retardation our taxes will now feed the zealots controlling behaviour.
this is just one more cycle that has seen the zealots behave like this in the past, only on a much larger scale now, what with the highest debt ratios of the average American….prime time for the zealots to take all the assets away, and sit on them indefinitely with the help of treasury moneys.
if politicians had a spine, the would freeze the interest rates, or suspend the zealots priviledges of those who did not co-operated, which is the real problem that everyone knows will hurt the current economy, irregardless of how slow it is currently.
nope…politicians don’t have the back bone to do something like that, and instead, we will be left to our own accord, of high interest rates, job loss, asset loss, in the next decade to come.
you watch…the interest rates will continue to go up in the coming years, because the zealots already know the housing economy they created(flooded) is already dead…no reviving it.
yep…prime time for the zealots to celebrate in their high interest rates for the next decade, while we all try to stay affloat.
for me, it is legal theft on a grand scale, so cold too, in their deliberateness of controlling the economy we all work for still, which will dwindle from here on in…TRUTH.
as for the product manufactures, they should be grateful someone buys their products…nope…that was not good enough…they had to listen to the zealot’s entice them into store credit cards of high high interest, where the stores made more money from the kickbacks from the zealot financers, more than the profits of selling the products…
well…who wins/loses in the end with an economy crashing into the ground in the coming decade because of the zealots?
the zealots seem to think they win, all proud and boastful they are and so mighty and powerful too, in controlling everything and everyone, completely heartless of how many they hurt now with higher interest rates, job loss coming to the economy, bankruptcy, more job loss, more asset grab, oh and hey, look who the zealots managed to talk into coming on board with them…the Nation’s Treasury.
well now, isn’t that just perfect…NOT!
the Supreme court protects the consumer Mr. Zealot.
it is the Supreme court which should be dealing with the zealots, not parliament, albeit, parliament should suspend the priviledges of the zealots operating in the country.
ooooo….them’s fighten words!
lol
Do you think we’re ever going to get a new thread here?
oh hey…i was just thinking about you!
something new…something different…ya sure!
im bad, i know.
I have nothing against Zealots. And most people I know get on well with the Zealots – they’re cool. It’s the bleedin’ Herodians I can’t stand.
how naive it is of parliament in thinking they will slow down the aggressiveness high interest rates by the zealots, which the zealots already know the housing economy they built(flooded) is already dead.
oh sure, it may slow the aggressiveness of the zealots, but they will still jack up the interest rates.
it is a power struggle, where parliament needs to flex it’s muscle using the Supreme Court rulings, where the Supreme Court sees right thru the zealots who control the world economy…and wrecklessly i might add.
We get a load of Herodians congregating outside McDonalds in the town centre here every Saturday. We also get Pharisees, skateboarding and listening to My Chemical Romance.
no restraint now sees our economy coming to a grinding hault worldwide, and you think that’s cool?
well…we may see the world return to the dark ages sooner than we expect, if they don’t get a handle on the run away interest rates.
I tell you, don’t blame the Zealots!
oh wait, what is a Herodian?
hmmmm….(andy googles it and comes back)
oh, ok…
The Herodians were a sect or party mentioned in the New Testament as having on two occasions–once in Galilee, and again in Jerusalem–manifested an unfriendly disposition towards Jesus.
how can one be against Jesus if they do not know what to be against about Jesus?
i see Jesus as the me of us all, as the most evolved adult child, a rather easy going dude you could say, who secretly laughed at all the retardation of so many bumbling ones who stumbled over themselves.
This is a very surreal conversation.
thinking to himself, “now wouldn’t they all look great wearing beautiful colored free flowing satin outfits?!”
lol
bizarre or dreamlike
dreamlike perhaps for many who do not peer into the truth and see with clarity.
What does Madonna do to get muscles like that??
oh…i don’t know…maybe she thinks about someone special to her she wants to impress?
well…i’ll say this, “she impresses the hell out of me!”
but i still am certain i can beat her in an arm wrestle.
Well, I was actually thinking she could beat me at an arm wrestle.
As long as she’s OK, yes?
i remember i used to listen to the soundtrack from ‘Rocky’ when i worked out in my youth.
today i listen to more melancholy music which evokes my emotions of transcendent thought.
She must lift an awful lost of heavy weights. It’s rather ironic, in the old days people wanted to get rich to avoid having heavy manual labour.
oh ya…she is more than ok…it’s the motherfuckers she can do without!
lol
stay tuned into zen or the equality love that is real for us.
Some things I don’t understand. Well, a lot of things I don’t understand.
It all seems like a very strange world to me.
hey, did you know what depression is?
Someone was telling me it is the emotional experience which one feels between navigating between ANGER and the unresolved emotions of the manifestations of anger.
is that cool or what?
Does Madonna have good friends? Are there a lot of weird ones?
Can I dodge the weird ones?
that’s why i strive for clarity, so as to not feel the uncertainty emotions of the manifestations of anger.
I was depressed once, for two years. Very awful time. Yes, I was very angry over that period so you might have a point.
Very strange thing. And it really does affect you in a physical way.
ya, for sure, dodge the uncertain and weird ones, just don’t dodge me!
as in dodging me may be dodging the me of you?
does that make any sense?
It’s totally different from “being unhappy”. Totally different feeling. Yes, that’s so true – anger played a massive part now I think back.
“does that make any sense?”
No, but I’m used to it.
ya…it can affect us physically if left unresolved too long.
liberty is always available to everyone, so long as they take time to deal with issues.
here is the thing…left unresolved….the issues can and do plague us for life.
I was so angry with things – and certain people – and I couldn’t move on though I knew I should, and I just kept circling this black hole and I just couldn’t get out.
i had a connected moment the other day, which i want to hang onto as it was pure of feeling, serene and true, which has to do with the me within.
does that ring any bells?
You talk like a counsellor. They’re a right waste of time. They got me more angry than anything! Bland platitudes.
They did me good, though, because I came out of the meeting and I had redirected my anger towards them!
There’s a long delay here between questions and responses.
i think people put to much emphasis and expectations on intimate relationships which may not be true for them, where solidness of friendship is the better relationship, freindship which is sincere and pure, which is what i feel deep within.
“i had a connected moment the other day, which i want to hang onto as it was pure of feeling, serene and true, which has to do with the me within.
does that ring any bells?”
Nope. Can you be more specific, please?
i want to nurture, protect and grow friendships, just as M does, but mostly, my friendship with her is of utmost concern for me, and yet, i feel at times, i am too fucked up to be of any use.
Are you talking about shagging? If you’re talking about shagging, then just say “I’m talking about shagging”. I’m not goog on picking up on hidden meanings and such like.
~ my own insecurity at times…nothing to do with anyone, so much as it has to do with my entire life up till today…a rather rocky road you could say, and yet, i have such amazing clarity of my true SELF.
no…not shagging…although i suppose if two eventually come to a true knowingness of a pure friendship, then that is up to them to look apon the day they may eventually find themselves…but no…no shagging, it is something pure inside that i feel, of a forever more feeling one would not ever want to live a day without feeling how good that feels.
does that make sense?
You’re going off on a bit of a tangent again.
I keep answering your question before last.
” it is something pure inside that i feel, of a forever more feeling one would not ever want to live a day without feeling how good that feels.
does that make sense?”
Yep. Not shagging. I’m with you now.
here is a weird one i was feeling the other day….
i pictured two insanely loving lovers dancing in crazy costumes together on a roof top patio on top of a 30 story building.
i just stood there having coffee, feeling the enlightenment of the two lovers dancing on top of the building….
where it felt obvious they loved one another completely.
Right, we’re talking dancing. Dancing’s nice.
shagging is the end result of coming together of a friendship in my mind, where i can’t just shag with just anyone…although i know i have in the past….i am holding out for the one most like me this time….something sincerely fun and happiness between the two…with no element of uncertainty…bin there. done that way too many times.
I wonder if all the men in Madonna’s life try to change her, and I’m presuming they find that to be a total waste of time.
ya, dancing….it is the free loving spirit set free, which feels the enlightenment within, and is of the knowingness of that which is true of us all.
as i said, “Leading by example, of what the example of sincere true love between two obviously loving lovers is what i want, what we all want…”
I think the only successful approach would be to let her do her crazy stuff – just let her get on with it – and just keep your own feet on the ground and do your own thing. And just say “That’s nice, dear”. and try not to be patronising.
ohhhh…who would want to change the loving spirit of Madonna?
not me….no way!
i love her!
Maybe in some things she would be amenable to change.
i am not patronising of her…i am the antagonist if anything.
I’m not into crazy stuff. I’m not boring. But I don’t do crazy.
Right, I’m going to go and have my shower and get to bed.
“When two worlds collide”.
well ya, we all let go of things we are answerable to should we chose to…but it is we who chose in the end, albeit, somethings people chose to answer to…i would not!
what two worlds are you refering to?
there are many worlds i can think of
like i said to my therapist, it is the indifferences between us all which does not unite in sameness of loving spirit.
Right, Night night, sleep tight, no more naughty dreams,
X
naughty?
no no…not ever naughty…sincerely loving is the only way for me!
alright…sweetest of dreams the dreaming lovers dream of the dreaming lover who dreams of the dreaming lover who too dreams of the dream they dream.
no wait…
sweets of dreams are of the dreaming lovers dreams who dream of a dreaming lover who dreams the same dream.
no wait…
sweetest of dreams are of the dreaming lover who dreams of a dreaming lover who dreams the dreams they dream.
no wait…
sweetest of dreams are of the dreaming lovers who dream of the dreaming lover laying next to them.
ya!
that’s the sweetest of dreams that i too dream!
anyway….that connectedness moment was/is of M.
two worlds collide?
more like two worlds apart, and yet, we are not.
same sky above.
same earth below.
same love we feel.
let’s keep it real
the word ‘crazy’ is a derogatory shortsighted word which is detractring from truth and full knowingness of character, of the connotation of frustration in dealing with someone…
hmmm….let’s see….
GLBT individuals were categorized as ‘crazy’ where Homosexuality was once thought to be a mental illness because mental health professionals
and society had biased information.
Is Homosexuality a Mental Illness or Emotional Problem?
No. Psychologists, psychiatrists, and other mental health professionals agree that homosexuality is not an illness, a mental disorder, or an emotional problem. More than 35 years of objective, well-designed scientific research has shown that homosexuality, in and itself, is not associated with mental disorders or emotional or social problems.
ok…so that rules me out as being ‘crazy’.
whew! for a minute there, i thought you were talking about me.
oppppssss….oh damn…i am so fucked either way i look at this…ah fuck!
lol
M should get a laugh out of that one…
i am doomed to ever getting with M…she just won’t ever trust me….i suppose i should give up the notion.
and yet, i full trust how i feel about her…
what is it about my sincerity of love i feel for her that is true of me?
what is it?
my bisexuality…’that’s what.
TRUTH.
but that does not negate her ever being able to trust me.
only time spent together is able to establish trust between two souls.
well…let’s see…i got 12,964 blessed days to go…
made ya smile!
fact it Andy…you’re a fucking nut case!
lol
im just CRAZY for her!
and what is wrong with ‘that’?
absolutely nothing wrong with love that i feel for her, the real Madonna.
anyway…they better not pass this stupid bill…and let everyone face the truth…the banks have us all in Check, but not Checkmate.
new restraints need to be put in place for stable growth of economies worldwide, and not these hyper driven sales reps of the banks, business, and politicians ever again.
unrealistic and obvious of the truth which sees what happens when we over zealously inflate these bubbles of unrealistic markets driven so high, and the flooding of the market which saturates, all of willful blind heartedness and lacking in concern for future generations….absurdity.
we are not about wealth, status and all the bull crap of the over zealous salesmanship and never were…we are all just ordinary people, all from the same schools of thought, all of equality love for one another, and not all these indifferences of opinion which seperate.
we need to work together for a stable steady economic future, and let go of the greed which fuels instability, satisfied in a realistic growth market unhindered by the controlling manipulators of finance, where in truth, if they want to be stupid, then we should all walk away from their disrespect and sanction them, strip them of their priviledge to operate in our countries for good.
what ever happened to realistic growth of our crops mentality?
look at the reality of the fear that everyone is gripped by now…is that what we want for the children of future generations to ever experience like what we are all experiencing today…hell no.
so let’s make some changes, and isolate the ability of these institutions to ever manipulate like this again, and take hold of our own power over the few who cast controlling fear over the millions of us worldwide, and not ever tolerate this spectacle of absurdness ever again.
We have Supreme Courts…let’s use them and make some new laws to usher in a new era of stability that all generations of the future will be thankful for one day, when one day, we will not have governments which owe anyone, of the surplus abundance of the human spirit united as ONE.
no one wants to lose their job.
no one wants to lose their family home as a result of losing their job.
no one should feel dictated to by the ones who brought us this insecure environment in the first place, the ones who saturated the market place with their over zealous behaviour, now crying to the National Trearury to help fuel their continued behaviour, with threats of high interest rates which we are not seeing looming over us this week.
where i come from, a threat for money, is robbery.
Where is the Supreme Court in viewing this spectacle of absurdity where billions of us worldwide are directly affected by the apathy of not sanctioning this foolheardiness of a few?
what? they are having lunch with the finance dude?
oh well…that figures…
i jest.
millions, not just a few are at the table…
The Supreme Courts of the land hold up the laws of the country, and make new laws all the time…
it’s time to deal head on with this absurdness of banking fraud which knew full well what they were doing in flooding the markets, holding their breath of too rapid a growth for the economies to sustain….
now we are faced with the same banking economists who know full well the housing industry the saturated is dead(or nearly dead), with them dictating to us?
what is wrong with this picture?
we are talking about the average Joe six pack here, who just wants to wake up tomorrow and have a job.
simple question…”how many will be affected by high interest rates?”
Everyone.
And do we actually believe they will keep interest rates down when the housing industry is bust?
is everyone asleep? hello?
they got into this mess….we sure as hell should be trusting them then, should we?
so do everyone a favour and do the simple task of sanctioning them, stripping them of their priviledges if they fail to co-operate, where ALL are concerned.
it is the only solution…there is no other way out of this mess, but a slow climb out of debt, where we all keep our jobs to pay off the debt, where it is not the power of the government, but the power of the ALL which is what we need to embrace, using new sanctions, and new Supreme Court Laws.
hell, i’d be glad to draft if for you all, if you want.
hmmm…let’s see, nationalize all the banks into five banks…
hmmm…freeze further extensions of credit to consumers.
allow business to have necessary credit based on their continued operations…
freeze the interest rates for the next ten years.
what?
it will work, when we ALL decide to keep the economy, forcing our hand with the zealots if necessary….it’s time fight back or die.
it’s the fucking world that is crazy…not me.
i am going to live a simple fun loving life with a lover like me, and i will find them, and they will find me.
who needs or wants to play guessing games when truth of our feelings is easy to know when love is true?
ya, a gay life.
what i am used to ejoying and what i want, love with a guy who is tender loving of me and i him.
so there you have it…Andy is gay!
gee…who knew?
whatever…
there…now i can get on with my life and forget my silly notions…
it wd be nice to do a private concert with your unique slave idiot fan iAndy with your unique tyranical voice….give your money to mum…
ANdy
Your almost turning Andrew Thomas gAY
and me straight
almost,
Lol
i’m such a flert
I had a spooky dream last night, was not going to mention it but i will,
In my dream M slipped or something and knocked her head on the toilet very hard there was blood & stuff seemed quite serious, then next thing this doctor was checking her vital signs she was still breathing, but i got spooked out, maybe she fainted and fell over i don’t know the meaning of it really but my dreams are usually prophetic in a symbolic way, but falling on her throne and hurting herself, i think maybe she’s working too hard, and needs a good holiday after this tour and a nurse on hand when she goes to the loo.. too.. hey i always rhyme, cause i got rythem baby.
like my therapist says, “other people’s shit.”
thanks for the projection…any more?
no that’s it for today !
today !
lol
aren’t we touchy
ya…i am overly sensitively lately…
it’s a human thing….
ha.
it comes from feeling the depth of our own reassured feelings, while BEing among those who are less reassuring…or so i am told…or so it feels…
i am self-assured…just not as reassured as one could be with safe and supportive friends. You try being nicknamed Pansy in high school and not being able to get a date with girls sometime and see how that feels.
fucking Mike…i am so going to have sex with him one day, then dump his sorry ass….well ok…maybe not…i love him.
Mike knows he’s got it…but he ain’t getting it…even if he begs me for it…
lol
We’ll those that are less assuring (like me ) make you appreciate what is more reassuring ( like Mike ) a good thing ! Yes, a good enough reason to keep me as a friend.
Then say one day i might become enlightended (don’t hold you breath) then i’ll be on the other side (so to speak )
lol
(i liked that one,)
then you can screw my brains out and toss me out like a disposable razor blade ha ha
in the end Love is all that MATTers..
hey should that be MIKEers, NICKers
ok are you screwing Mick or Nick ?
when a person sincerely prays…it is there that we realize we are the same…
M knows what i mean…
i know what she knows…the greater depth of sincerity within which is the calmness of the divine true self, pure and true in loving feelings for another…heaven.
does that help?
i keep pushing myself toward standing alone in likeness of mind which is of sameness of my true and faithful friends…irregardless of any words of another around me, irregardless of any words said between us, as ones who are aware of the sameness of the depth of sincerity within…the calmness of the divine true self.
~ a true and faithful friend of those who are not any different from one another, where knowingness of the truth of self, is true of everyone, yet we all put all these indifferences between us, with seemingly useless words and conduct…immaturity of the mind.
i take delight in the sight of the morning sunlight gleeming here and there, it’s soft rays of warmth, while i stand there feeling my sincere feelings of love for another, whoever they may be, knowingness of our sameness which we all subconsciously seek, where i greet them in my preferred cognitive awareness, which knows the truth of, just as i do…
there…i am finally speaking as me…
it is who i am…and what i love most about life…the knowingness of our sameness, irregardless of those yet unwise of what we know and feel, such incredible purity and depth of love within, such clarity of the sameness i openly speak of….the calmness of the divine true self we know about…just as Jesus too knew about his own divine true self…just a man, where in his own knowingness of this, he too knew was true of everyone…
how is it so many become disconnected, and so annoying in their outward conduct with one another?(including me somedays, i know).
Bring the Heaven and Star’s Down to Earth for Me.
Heaven on Earth, only humankind has to Dream the Same Dream !
Dream on Baby !!!
hahah
kidding
does that help?
so where am i?
am i not always right beside you?
are we not in truth, of the same level of loving sincerity, pure and true within?
i know i am….and i know M is too…we just don’t speak of it openly like i am today…
in truth, when you know…you don’t have to speak of it…you just know.
you just know…
there is no questioning it, like that of those who are yet of uncertainty of our knowingness…
where questioning it, is of those who are yet of unknowingness, is it not?
i don’t question it here today with my words, rather i am merely being fearlessly open right now, self-assured in doing so, for sake of what needed to be said…
it is in this way that i know my love is true for her…
and always will be, of a true and faithful friend, who prays like she does, and feels the sameness of the genuine feelings of the divine true self which is only loving…
only love…without doubt…
doubt is of the unwise world which surrounds…
it has taken many years to arrive here today, to speak openly like i do, of what needs to be said.
not so much i fear for sake of us, perhaps more for sake of others?
as we already know our own depth of sincerity, and purity of heart and mind.
forgive my inability somedays, which is lacking in wisdom and sincere approach…as the world does get to me somedays in all of it’s useless outward conduct so fear based and unwisely controlling, rather than just BEing themselves…
does that help?
M con’t decide whether she wants to kick my ass or kiss me?
lol
that’s what friends are for?
alright, so let’s get thru the rest of the day, always in our knowingness that each day is a blessed day for the tenderness of loving feelings of our divine true self to experience while among others….
i love her…i know i do…and she knows i do…perhaps more than i was willing to admit, but hold back the truth from her i cannot, and perhaps today, is the last day i shall not forget what we know…
you just know, when you know…
we know…
we like knowingness, do we not?
there….i said what needed to be said…
no more doubt…
there is enough doubt in the world without adding more…
lol
Ya i know,
i just get less worked up about it,
that s all
Anal, im anal i have obssesive cleanliness disorder
LOL,,
i’ll be a GAY bottom Bitch in my next life, to deal with my Anal disorder..
so now what?
i jest…
lol
anal eh?
i get discombogulated when i am tired…have you noticed?
i always seem to retreat away from others, wondering days later why i did, when in truth, i love everyone…
it is a fear thing, insecurity from my past life that still grips me from time to time…but have grown rich in the knowingness i speak of, and yearn to always be found of love devoid of doubt, which is of Jesus and God….of what Jesus knew of us all…
M knows, and i know too…
you could pretend to be one in this life, please me tease me it might heal you !
lol >
enjoy your day !
i wrote an affirmation in my phone today schedualled it to repeat daily for two years (low on memory )
it goes like this
“Be Loving & leave it at that”
Ciao Bella
you know, it’s all so sad for me, in my knowingness today, that my own fearlessness in writing like i do, was because of Troy, and that’s is what hurts deep inside…his life which meant so much to me…of which i am eternally grateful for, of why i feel the way i do today…blessed…in a seemingly unblessed world(somedays)…
and is Troy not with you every moment ?
for sure
Troy gives you a big kiss on the forhead
guiding you , minding you protecting you
more that you realise
forever more
for sure
you already know that ..
Ciao Bella
it is because of Troy, that i am of the knowingness of the truth about love devoid of doubt which i turn towards in prayer…turning toward knowingness of the sameness within us all, pure and true inwardly, but not necessarily as fearlessly outward like we yearn to BE.
i yearn to BE ‘that’ with another who too yearns to BE.
it is not like i can simple BE anything other than what i yearn for…where we easily feel the difference.
i yearn to eternally remain of the truth of our knowingness, love devoid of doubt, where anything less is of our being our own worse enemy, is it not?
we know…
what matters, is ‘that’ which we know to BE true of our SELF…
ya, i am blessed because of Troy, as it was Troy who changed my life forever…in a good way…where love devoid of doubt is what we have to come to know is not only possible….it is TRUE of us in our silence praying like we do…
we are blessed because of Jesus and Troy, where it is God who knows the truth of our knowingness of our pure loving feelings sincere and true till the end…forever more….without doubt.
it is BEcause of you ! that you know the Truth
and it’s beacuase of you that i need a Valium
Lol
kidding
God Bless
help me fix the world’s mess
we have been doing just that, have we not?
look how far we have come as friends in life…
best of all, that which is not able to change, the truth of what we know to BE true of us…our purity and sincerity of loving feelings so tender and mild like we are when we feel what we feel in each passing moment of the day…
gotta go…my morning bike ride down to the lake and back…
of another blessed day…
thanks Marco.
hey…who is Marco?
oh yeah…someone like me….sweet loving…
Ya, i know
Mwah
Thanks Andy
hey who is Andy
ah does’nt MATTer
cause ANdy is .. someone like me..sweet loving
enjoy you bike ride..
im off to dance the night away
i enjoy doing that
chat to you again
in the spirit realm
on on here too again
Ciao
Bella
a
get it
no i don’t get it…Marco is Matt?
Matt is someone Andy loves?
Marco knows Andy loves Matt?
Marco knows Matt loves Andy as much as Andy loves Matt?
ok…so who is Marco?
if Marco is Matt…i will die a thousand deaths…
lol
it’s all good…i love(d) Matt…like i love myself…where tenderness of the loving SELF is what MATTers to us ALL…
where at the end of the day, it is…not wealth…not status…not race…not religion…not sex…not orientation…not political…
it is the sincere love between the loving lovers who truly love one another utterly and completely forever more of what we ALL are…loving creatures stuck on a ball of dirt hurtling thru space at an extimated 1.3 million mph, in relationship to other galaxies in the universe.
cool eh?
spirit realm eh?
hmmmm….me thinks Marco is M…?
he has her solidness of true loving spirit…and he prays like i do….sooooo…..who really knows M the way we do?
we know, that’s who…
lol
hmmm…so who am i to M?
oh just someone who can dance better than she can!
lol
i jest….NOT!
well, ok….she can dance as well as i can?
i can dance too?
wanna dance?
lol
I’m having a night off. I’ve got a cold and I’m getting to bed.
Is there any chance of a new thread sometime, please? This is toooo loooooong. Ta.
sweetest of dreams love
a new thread?
a new life?
someone new?
i suppose i have nothing to complain about really, seeing the world is a whole lot better in accepting the GLBT community…
someone invited me to a bisexual dance…i said what? a bisexual dance you say….get out of here! No way!
a new day, for us gays? lol
of course, i didn’t go…them bisexuals is just to wild for me!
nah…me looking for a soul mate…
a cold…yuk!
i am the most impostible person to be around when i have a cold.
come to think of it, i am impossible most anytime, what with my chastity lock and all.
Nighty night
X
rest. chicken noodle soup is good too…soothing great taste…with someone spoon feeding you, is a must! ha.
i’ve saved up $6000 by December, i can afford to meet you half way for a week’s holiday i’ll pay for my own room, (its a catholic thing, virgin, you know how it is) but i’ll shout you dinner Italian boi’s we areindependant.. be fun we can talk exchange jokes you know, as friends..
thats what i want a friend
not really after anything else apart from what you can teach me and Visa Versa,
hey can you lend me $20 i’ll pay you back !
Lol
as if
i’m not Madonna Andy,
i’m like her though, my friend Roy told me in 1995 before he died at 25 (drug over dose) that i was like her, i’ve always connected to where she was comming from more than anyone else on the planet, but it was really hard to discern that connection because she was so famous so i thought maybe i should find a way to connect im still not there yet but one day im sure our path’s will connect because we both have compassion for the world were both half italian & were both crazy..
I’ll meet her one day, Lol
we could go for a scenic drive through the Hollywood Hills, in the back of a Taxi or something you know
Is Andrew Thomas a FAG ?
yep.
yeah…being her best friend in life would be joyous indeed.
she is just as sensitive as the next person, perhaps more so than most realize, and yet she has a solidness which is i know about, that is unwavering.
ya ya & being my best friend would be joyous indeed also, like a love injection,
addictive yes ?
ya ya i’m strong too, like an old walnut, need a nut cracker to get inside me, im soft and tender on the inside but.. and it’s the inside that MATTer’s..
its really hard but, cause i’ll alway’s be alone in this life i’ll have beautiful soul’s that i am close too and love and love me back but i’ll never have “the one” that hurt’s me but it’s something i have to accept, because that’s the only way to protect my soul so i can remain pure it’s a protection thing i guess a sacrifice in a way, for the sake of it all and everyone, do you know how much that hurts, and how much strength it takes, that’s why my two closest friends, (you know who you are) mean so much to me without you both i would’nt have made it this far,
so if you feel special about that, God damn it
so you should !
LOL
nut cracker, get it
LOL
crazy hey,
Andrew Thomas when you sell your apartment can you buy the music rights to this song, it will be the best investment you’ll ever make, and then you’ll be rich and can by a big mansion in the Greek Island’s, heap’s of gay’s guy’s there.
LOVE IS IN THE AIR (John Paul Young)
Love is in the air
Everywhere I look around
Love is in the air
Every sight and every sound
And I don’t know if I’m being foolish
Don’t know if I’m being wise
But it’s something that I must believe in
And it’s there when I look in your eyes
Love is in the air
In the whisper of the trees
Love is in the air
In the thunder of the sea
And I don’t know if I’m just dreaming
Don’t know if I feel sane
But it’s something that I must believe in
And it’s there when you call out my name
(Chorus)
Love is in the air
Love is in the air
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Love is in the air
In the rising of the sun
Love is in the air
When the day is nearly done
And I don’t know if you’re an illusion
Don’t know if I see it true
But you’re something that I must believe in
And you’re there when I reach out for you
Love is in the air
Every sight and every sound
And I don’t know if I’m being foolish
Don’t know if I’m being wise
But it’s something that I must believe in
And it’s there when I look in your eyes
(Repeat Chorus 4X)
Enough of the “gay” stuff already, thank you very much.
Greece is too hot for me. South of France instead. Cap d’Antibes.
Good song, though.
I’ll be humming that blinking song all day now.
Any chance of a new thread?
This is absolutely killing my iPod touch.
Biarritz would be nice too. I get bored if there’s no waves, and the Med is now full of jelly fish as well.
I actually always fancied this place:
http://www.ipod.org.uk/Antibes.jpg
I’ve been on that beach.
Fantastic house, view to Cannes.
that’s nice dear.
+
We are all friends along life’s road, a road i have walked apon, long and hard, a road of emotional certainty where i felt/feel my emotions in each step along side all of you, be it gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, transexual…all of you.
i ask my self, “What is life all about, and what do i want for the remainder of my life?”
well…forgive me for getting too emotional on this question, as i cannot simply turn off my deep emotions.
i had a sweet loving friend name Troy in life, who i yearned to always hold his hand, of each and every waking moment of each day, so tender and mild his loving spirit was and is of my memories of him, which has affected/effected my heart, mind, body, spirit and soul for all eternity, in a positive pure sincere way, which is of the depth of emotional exploration.
Troy is gone from me in the physical realm, but not ever gone from my heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, so profoundly his life impacted my life, of a stranger i met along life’s road, of a stranger who’s hand i held that first day, of a stranger who’s lips i kissed that first day apon a round hay bail in a farmers field, of a stranger i had sex with that first day, apon a rock along the water’s edge of the cottage lake we played apon so often, of a stranger i came to know well, and know well my emotions which ran deep within, of what became clear to me without doubt, of me telling that stranger named Troy, with tears in my eyes expressing to him, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you Troy!”
Push came to shove, people interrupted what we both knew we wanted, all kinds of things which distracted us both from that day which never came, of us surrendering to the depth of our emotions of what we both wanted, of a day we did not find the courage within to surrender to taking hold of each other’s hand and say fuck off to the rest of the world and walk side by side thru the remainder of our life, apon life’s road where we met…the road Troy died apon, in his commitment of suicide, where he jumped in front of a van on a highway outside the hospital he managed to escape from, killing himself in front of the staff and doctor’s who chased after him.
Troy died that day, where apon i did take hold of Troy’s hand that day apon life’s road, where i have not let go of his hand, which feels the truth of everything that happened to Andy’s most loving lover, of everything everyone said and did, of what Troy and i failed to do, now of many years gone by of all the issues from one end of the spectrum to the other, probing of the psychological autopsy the professionals and i diligently worked thru, which resulted in a number of laws changed, including our address of the co-dependent welfare relationship here in Canada…yep, blame Andy everyone, for lowering the welfare cheques you all get today, of the unhealthy co-dependent relationship Troy had, which did contribute to the dynamics of his low-self esteem, where had he been working somewhere, he would likely not of found himself where he did that dreadful day apon life’s road.
God bless Troy, who’s life has altered the lives of many(unknowingly).
~ ~ ~
Along life’s road, i met Matt, where i am still confused and yes, hurt, in my loss of his friendship, yet, i know who i am in life along life’s road…a true and faithful friend to ALL, in particular the GLBT community, of the many i walk along side daily, year after year, my favorite day being the GLBT Toronto Parade, now the largest event in North America with over one million now attending.
Along life’s road, i met Matt, who reminded me of the importance of my inner anquish i felt during the first Pride Day Parade i walked alone, without Troy’s hand, the year after he died, where i knew it was important to take a stand in the world, for sake of another, knowingness of my feelings which would not want anyone to experience what i experienced in my loss of Troy…not ever!
Matt rekindled my spirit with overflowing joy in watching him accept himself so well like he did, and God willing, i pray he continues to always be as accepting of himself like he appeared to be, of my the memories i have of him…a stranger i met, and came to know along life’s road.
well…i will say this, if i was his age, and i had a motorcycle(and will someday), i wait patiently for him to get on the bike with me, and ride off apon life’s road forever more with him, with no element of doubt of the depth of my emotions which would always be loving of Matt…but i am not his age…and so a friendship, like that of the friendship i have of everyone in the GLBT community i shall remain for him…forever more….where perhaps one day he will reach out and hand to me, and i him, to tenderly hold and embrace, sweet feelings of my sincere love for him in shaking his hand…although it might not be a good idea, as i might not want to let go of holding his hand….
ya, i loved Matt…i will alway love Matt…without doubt, i know…i will always love Matt…
~ ~ ~
As for Madonna, she and i know the depth of out heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, which is of the same loving compassionate likeminded wisdoms, however many wisdoms we may ever have and share with one another, we know we are seekers in life of what is most important for our heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, and in so doing, we are the knowingness of ‘that’ which is true of everyone’s heart, mind, body, spirit, and soul.
I would equally wait for her too, to get on the bike with me, with no doubt of my love for her which have, and have felt everyday along life’s road since the day Troy died, knowing full well, i would live a most loving life with her forever more, if ever a day came, she surrendered to getting on the bike with me to journey with one another forever more in each others life, of each waking day, apon life’s road.
i am running on empty in my patiently waiting, and yet i cannot my self to just simply walk away…and yet we both have to eventual accept what ever direction it is we are going to accept, for sake of both our mental emotional well being…
there…i said it….and have cleared the air of whatever anyone shall ever say or do, where it is up to her, not anyone else, of what she wants to do…i already know and have known along time what i have yearned for, and continue to yearn for, a sweet loving lover who wants me as much as i want them, as much as i yearned the same for Troy, as much as i yearned to be with Matt, even if i was for older than him, where i don’t feel age difference in my emotions, rather, i am merely older than him, not like they say, ‘too old’, for him. One day Matt will reflect and realize(and perhaps already does), the truth of this…emotions are not bound by the contraint of time when it comes to loving feelings.
~ ~ ~
as for Marco…well Marco…
i have issues which are hurting me which may or may not be true…
i don’t know if you played the role of Matt, as it appears perhaps you did…
i don’t know how i am supposed to feel about that, if it is true, knowing how much i love Matt…
i will say this though Marco, you and i are no different in any way in our yearning for to love another like we do, and God knows you and i love one another sincere and true.
~ ~ ~
i don’t know if i want to know the truth about Matt, and yet i know, it would be fair to let Andy know the truth someday, knowing either way, i’t change the depth of Andy’s emotions and love he has for everyone, as it was Troy who impacted Andy’s life the most in life, something that cannot be changed…
~ ~ ~
for me…i don’t like uncertainty…and i am growing weary of playing this silly charade like we do…
i am getting on my bike, and if one of you wants to join me someday, then please do…before someone else beats to it, as i am keeping an eye out for a soul mate lover like mySELF.
~ ~ ~
i think about covers what needed to be said, and will close for now to let you all come to your own conclusions, where i am happy in accepting a true and faithful friendship with you all, which is what i have been and am for many years along life’s road with you ALL, and without doubt, will continue to BE…but spend my life without a loving lover on the bike with me….think again loverboys….lovergirls….
lol
you got 4 minutes motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(andy revs the engine of the bike, patiently waiting until it becomes obvious to him, he is wasting his time, and decides to take off apon life’s road to meet another stranger to love, like the way loved and still loves Troy, like the way he loves everyone…forever more, but spend it alone?…..duh! think again!
like Madonna said, “Why would i want to?”
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
enjoy each and every blessed day everyone….you only get so many of them to spend with one another.
12, 963 blessed days to go…
thank you Troy. thank you Jesus. thank you God. thank you ALL.
PS…i would appreciate some clarity about Matt, as it did hurt me significantly, more than i realized…but ya, it hurt me to see him go…
God says speak the TRUTH…
either way….i know the truth about my emotions, and it does not really matter what anyone ever says or does, because i feel the truth of all things i reflect apon, with the descerning wisdom to turn towards love, not hate, wisdom, not ignorance, compassion, not apathy. It’s not so much that i deserve to know the truth, rather, it is just rather silly to play charades, where in truth, i prefer playing Chess, if you must know!
anyway…let Andy know the truth someday…ok?
and yet, Andy will always know the truth of his loving emotions, does he not?
thank you
bless you
bless you
bless you
+
(andy gets on his bike, his favorite R&B music playing, as he kick starts the engine of the bike, a beautiful day to head to the beach, as he waits for one to join him, knowing someday, someone will)
+
it’s been fun everyone…but let’s face it…REAL LIFE is what is more fun, is it not?
friends…ok fine…we can and have done that for some time now, and will continue to do so…but REAL LIFE is where it is at for me…for all of us.
oh, i’ll be around…those who want to BE REAL with me ‘that’ is.
blessed be this day and everyday forever more.
thanks everyone.
+
+
hey, how far is Kansas from Toronto?
…just wondering.
+
+
“there’s no love like the future….Loves.”
+
+
i will be on a bad ass motorcycle for next years Pride Toronto Parade, with some bad ass bitch riding with me…that you can count on!
lol
+
and biyatches tooo!
actually, there are two parades, the Dyke parade on Saturday, opening with motorbikes like they always do…and yes…i will out front with them on the most bad ass motherfucking bike most have ever seen….
OC chopper would be the best choice to build it between now and next year…if they have time to squeeze it into their schedule…oh hell, i can build it myself. ha.
time to kick some more ass around here damn it….and i ain’t alone on this, that i do know.
we know!
on we go!
whoo hooo!
love it.
any volunteers?
ah, never mind then…plenty of fish in the sea of the road along side, which we all walk apon.
you guys are boring…
i jest…
come one guys, i wanna have some fun damn it….with or without cha….i am going to have some bad ass fun with someone…
she’s my sweet little thing, and i’m her little loverboy!!!!!!!
love it!!!!!!!!!
where’s my coffee!!!!!!!
lol
whoa!
what’s gotten into Andy?
time to get the funk out!
keep on funking in the funked world!
lol
that whole chastity thing is really funking with his brain cells…
you’ll all see soon enough….watch and see, the real me….same as i ever was, only more focused than ever before, knowing what works for me, knowing what works for another, just like me, the most fearless insane loving lovers the world shall see and feel again, what they all repress and hold back within them, the fearlessness to JUST BE YOU!
strange how a simple match book with the words, “Just BE Your SELF”, written on it, is indeed of the no time constraint then, just as it is today.
(andy gets up from his bar stole, and walks outside to get on his bike again, always returning year after year, to the same place he started, that special day andy walked into his life everlasting forever more, without his most loving lover of all….Troy….with only one thing on his mind….change the motherfucking world)
no more bullshit, ok guys…i am really done with bullshit…either get with it, or get lost…
(andy fastens the top of his leather motherfucker boots as he gets on his bike, as the boots of his favorite lover in life step up beside the bike, and gets on the bike with andy, as they tear off apon the road of everlasting together as ONE)
~ the script of “Life Everlasting”
~ The End
no wait
~ The Beginning
where the beginning and end are the same place of life everlasting for all the everlasting lover lovers who love like we do.
hey, who started all this anyway?
wasn’t me
i am just another soul like any of you along life’s road of life everlasting, no different in any way, albeit, perhaps abit wiser…knowingness of what it takes to fearlessly surrender to my own tender loving feelings of SELF, with another who is likeminded and of the yearning to likewise do as…i do.
hey…Jesus said that, did he not?
“Do as i do.”
+
Lead by example people….of the loving lovers YOU ARE!
i am…BE CAUSE…we ARE!
+
(with arms of andys favorite loving lover tightly wrapped around andy on the bike, they head off to where ever they want to go, each and every day, be it to the beach, to their friends places, to where ever the road of life everlasting is, which is every road we all walk apon together united as ONE loving family, sincerely loving of one another forever more…
….hey, how far is it from Toronto to Kansas City?
i am teasing you Matt…and yet i know, our love was/is true…
+
forever more, of each day the sun yet rises again, of each and every blessed day we wake to…always of tender loving feelings we all have for one another, of the worldwide GLBT community.
thanks everyone.
blessings to ALL
+
“that’s nice dear.”
v. funny
(days, weeks, and months went by, and andy was not heard from again, leaving all to wonder, just who the hell andy anyway, as they all turn to yet another Toronto Pride Day in the beautiful sunshine to see if Andy would appear, and with whom, and sure enough…there he was, as insane as he ever was, and ever will BE, sincerely loving of his loving lover and all the loving lovers of the worldwide GLBT community forever more till the day andy died from old age, and yet not of old age, and appeared no more, leaving the motherfucking world he left behind, forever changed of loving life everlasting for ALL to behold the TRUTH…andy really did love them ALL, but none more so, than his sweet ass loving lovers, who loved andy as much as he loved them…utterly and completely loving…insanely loving they always were! lol)
oh hi!!!!!!!!!!
about time you showed up!
i’ve had it…can you tell!
(andy holds his arms out in expressing just how done he is by everything everyone has ever said to him, finally coming terms just how much he really wants to get on with his life with a sweet loving lover…the chastiy belt which constrained him for so long)
lol
(“oh great, she laughs”, andy thinks to himself…as andy breathes a sigh of relief in her showing up again, like she always does, seemingly always there for him, as andy sits down on the sidewalk, kicking the stones on the street with his motherfucker boots, as the rain hisses apon hitting the overheated engine of andy’s bike sitting in front of him, the sunshining thru the rain softly falling, R&B music coming from the local club, as she asks….again…”how’s your day going?”, frustrating the fuck out of andy each time she repeatly asks, hoping she ask something else instead)
lol
(andy appears to have really lost it this time though, as he keeps kicking the stones in the street, pacing back and forth, wondering what to do) ha.
im ok…just having fun with ya all.
have not had my morning shower yet…oh fuck….it afternoon now…damn.
i love you…and i know you love me….and i know we always will love each other, come what may.
so many years have gone by, seeing me standing so many times with all the loving lovers of the GLBT community, of so many i have walked home with at all hours of the day and night….
hundreds of us used crowd the ghetto cafe till the sun came up the next day, Fridays and Saturdays the most busy days which always saw us show up, week after week, year after year, like we still do…
i love our family like you do too…
and i love you the most of everyone in our family…and i Matt too, as much as i do you, knowing i always will…
it’s just the way we all are, is it not, loving family…forever more…
but lately i am growing weary in my yearning for a loving lover…have you noticed?
lol
like Matt says….something REAL…
ya…who does not want something REAL….as in the real tender loving hand that hold our own?
loving lovers surrender to their own loving feelings for another, just i have surrendered to feeling the loving feelings i feel for you, just i have surrendered to feeling the loving feelings i feel for Matt, for ALL of us in the GLBT community….
it’s is what we do, and indeed, what we all are….loving lovers…
i am…be cause…we are…are what?
”
“Loving Lovers!!!!!!!!!!!!”
ok…good then.
(andy gets back on his bike again)
You need to get out more!
How’s your day going?
oh, i think i am about as OUT as one can get….
or is that you way of saying, “carry on andy, don’t wait for me, i happily married?”
don’t answer that…
Is it cool living in a fantasy world?
It must be. You can do what you like.
(some big biker dudes roll up along side andy now sitting on his bike, andy not quite sure of who they are, as andy appears to not give fuck either of who they may be)
Just in case you ever get a cold, I can tell you, get “Cold and Flu Relief Tablets” from Boots in the UK. I feel so much better. Really magic.
(suddenly, a crack of lightening strikes a pole near the biker dudes, leaving them wondering just who the hell andy was, as he calmly turns to look one last time at them, as though andy knew more than he was telling them about himself)
see…she always asks the same thing, “how’s your day going?”
lol
You don’t actually NEED me for your internet babblings, do you? I feel rather superfluous. Carry on.
I only did that “how’s your day going?” thing just to prove that sometimes I do actually read some of the acres of typing your produce.
ya, i love my fantasies i have of you!
always did…and likely always will…
scary somedays, the feelings…like the day you were here in TO, years ago, of me wanting to see you.
“ya, i love my fantasies i have of you!”
Er … I never actually seem to get a mention.
(andy googles for the definition of Superfluous)
Definition: more than enough; overabundant; extra
Etymology: Latin super- + fluere ‘to flow’
Extraordinary abundance of Wondrous Joy!
yep….that’s who we are…
Things we still do well in Britain: sweets (obviously) and cold and flu remedies (because of the lousy weather). You try getting cough mixture on the continent. They just don’t understand.
i am glad to hear you are feeling magical today!
me too…kinda obvious, am i not….motherfucker boots and all?
oh, and the motorcycle?
lol
i am so going to ride a motorbike next year, as bad ass a one as i can get…
ya, sweets lower your metabolism, because of the heat the body needs to process them, and the cold weather also lowers the metabolism in needed heat to keep the body temperature up…
so ya, low metabolism leaves us open to not being able to fight off a cold virus…i have not had a cold in years…and when i do get one, it only lasts 24-48 hours…
i sweat out the cold, working thru it, the usual rest of eight hours sleep, but what really works for me, is i work right thru the cold, not letting it get the best of me, pushing myself thru it, and in 48 hours the worst of the cold is usually subsided and gone, abit weaker or drainded, but gone mostly…
Oh, now I know where I’m going wrong with my colds!
you have to get the metabolism up again….a no fat(not even cream in a coffee), no sugar of any kind, and high protein(rice, fish) is how to get your metabolism spiked higher…
ACHOO!
veggies too…
but no salt or buttery sauces of any kind…
it may bland tasting, but your metabolism will spike three times higher when you do, and immediately too, within hours of adherence to a high protein, no sugar, no fat menu…
So I’m doing it all wrong?
be careful…and make sure you rest…as being too drainded can be dangerous if prolonged exposure to overdoing it….
trust me ok…i know what i am talking about….
you need to free the metabolism from too much work in processing food, where heat is required….
this is a professional menu from a doctor….
you won’t believe it until you actuall try it, with results that are immediate, that you will feel right away….
I don’t usually think about food too much. I just shovel it down my gob.
I believe you … however …
nutrients are essential for processing in digestion, so lots of veggies and zero fat protein like rice or fish, but not fryed…baked or boiled…no sauces of any kind, and cut the salt…
it’s tastes aweful and bland, but for the short term, if you are under pressure from your career, it will more than help, it will change your understanding of diet and metabolism….
… as little as I know about food, I know there’s no way Madonna is eating enough. She appears to have no body fat whatsoever.
there is sugar in those cold remedies too, which will drain you….
those pharacy dudes would rather you sleep for a week and take more of their cold remedies, which knock us out….
no cold remedies, other than maybe a mild pain killer and something to keep your temperature down…as too high a temperature is dangerous…
i think a temp of 106 is able to kill a person…according to my Mom, a nurse her entire life…
check with your doctor…don’t necessarily follow my advice, as i don’t know your current vital signs…
I’m a firm believer in potatoes. You can’t beat potatoes – you could live on potatoes.
and remember….YOU is what matters, not anyone else, so cancel their asses or reschedule if you don’t feel up to it…they will understand…
I’m happy as long as I get lots of potatoes.
potatoes are a main stable for many countries…including North America…
ya me too…i love potatoes…good ol country boy…i am…
I have a very low normal body temperature of about 94F. I looked it up on the internet and they said it was OK. It means that when my temperature goes up to about 97 or 98 then I’m quite ill.
I think Madonna should be eating more. Get her body fat percentage up.
I think I have quite a high metabolism as I keep my weight down. I’m quite active. But in the night sometimes when I sleep I can get really cooooold. I feel like my whole metabolism just drops right down.
oh really….potatoes….and a nice country boy…and you are utterly and completely happy are you?
well ok then…we shall see….
lol
oh damn…i love you more than i want to allow myself to fantasize….but fantasize….i do.
hey…one could say Jesus fantasized about a more loving world, did he not?
or was he fantasizing, rather, he was of knowingness, was he not?
(andy kick starts the bike)
hey…if you ever need my assistance…i am more than happy to always BE there for YOU…
just let me know…ok?
ok then…carry on
(andy tickles the throttle, revs the engine a tad, in delight of his loving friends who are near)
Right, you ride off into the night. I’m going to have a drink and relax.
X
fantasy?
nope….i am as real as one can possibly get guys…
and you know it.
cold in the night are you?
hmmmm….me thinks about that awhile…forever more…
oh i am sure M knows more about diet than most any of us ever will…
i am right where i always want to BE found, of having found what i have to come to know about my SELF.
thank you everyone
blessings to all
i am standing about as cool and collected as one can BE today…knowingness which runs thru my entire body…alone perhaps today…but not alone will i ride the road of loving life everlasting, of that i am certain…
i have come full circle…
thank you
bless you
I’ve having a night off. You go out and enjoy yourself or do something. Go eat some potatoes.
Night night,
X
(andy reaches out his leather clad hand to his most loving lover’s leather clad hand, who mounts the bike with andy, wrapping their arms around andy, with the warm loving forever more feelings rippling thru their bodies of the loving life forever more loving feelings they have surrendered to feeling…forever more…apon life’s road of not strangers, but the loving lovers of true brothers and sisters of Jesus, children of the light of God who is with them for all eternity)
hey, can we edit the potatoe head out of that scene…thank you…
lol
you better be smiling damn it….i have travelled all this way….
somebody call OC chopper, will ya?
no seriously…”will ya?”
thank you
bless you
that FF bike would be awesome, and they are the ones who can recreate it…don’t let them put and stupid decals on it….solid black, no flashy chrome, ok?
ok then…carry on
on we go
just when you thought it could not get any more exciting, suddenly, andy shows up and kicks everyone’s ass….again!
lol
motherfuckers!
i jest…
trust me…i am REAL…and i am as REAL as one will ever BE, as YOU ALL shall see soon enough, just as i always have BEen, year after year…
And next year….i WILL BE what i yearn to always BE….happy
oh, and can we get Rosie and Kelly on bike…that would so ROCK this motherfucker world!
and you better not all wait until after i am dead, as i will be pissed if you do!
lol
i jest….
do what you want to do…
again…”do what YOU wants to do!”
it’s not up to me…it is always up to ALL of YOU!
me…i’m just fine, with who ever, where ever it is i find my SELF.
and truly, i have found my SELF…thanks to ALL of YOU.
bless YOU
Andy is Dyke?
lol
i heard that!!!
no…Andy is not a Dyke.
Andy is a BUTHC DYKE…
big difference…
lol
i better go, before M kicks my ass….again….
opppsss….spelling error….oh well….my not be able to spell well….but spell well…i do
lol
ah…foods here….gotta go….
i’m just having fun with you guys…
so relax…and i will do the same…
i do mean what i say though, in case any were wondering what comes out of andy’s brain…
only love
blessings to ALL forever more
and yes….i will BE riding a bad ass motorbyke next year!
count on it…
but more awesome than that, will BE the bad ass lover with me…
count on it…
cough mixture? was that a psychology joke?
the FULL embracing of Empowerment of God, is knowingness of every second of all we say or do, all connected, all of affect/effect direct/indirect, already proven beyond doubt, of how the future is changed forever, where the future is always right here in with us in the present…
Let’s create a joyful world leading by example of our joyful fun loving spirit, ‘that’ of the SELF within us ALL…forever more…
Such is and has been the Toronto Pride event, and all of the GLBT events worldwide, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly…here to stay…forever more….
you know, i’ve always wanted to dress up as some big titty bad ass leather clad motherfucker butch dyke, riding a bad ass byke with the lover dyke!
oh oh….shhhh!…..here she comes…act all innocent and pretend you are not really listening…. lol
only andy could get away with saying that one…cough…
ouch, ouch, ouch….ohhh, the pain in side, i can’t breathe, someone make him stop will ya?
hey Rosie?
who is that guy laying on your boat…he seems really sweet loving.
oh hey…M is here in America everyone!
hello?
hey…where did everyone go?
oh yeh…M’s concert….
Does Madonna have a show tonight? Oops. Good luck Madonna!
ohh v. funny!
nah…no such thing as luck…Knowingness is where it’s at !
at….BEing where ever you find your SELF at !
at loving
at holding hands
at having lunch together
at sitting in a hot tub together(or alone)
at enjoying a nice sauna
at enjoying each other’s body
but most important of all…
at my place!
lol
i am so relentless, am i not? ha
Relentless? Hmm … “exhausting” is maybe a more accurate word!
What can I say if I can’t say “good luck”?
Any chance of that new thread?
ya…a new thread…
hmmm….let’s see….
Kings and Queens of Porn?
or
Nostalgic Wanking Salvaged?
lol
seriously…that’s some of the subtitles in FAB magazine…can you believe it? love it!
or how about;
Confessions of a Fallen Angel?
While the superficial are somewhat annoying, they do serve in bolstering fearlessness for the coming of age gay youth, and yes, even that overweight drag queen with way to much annoying attitude, who constantly likes getting in our face with some dress pick off the rack at the Salvation Army for five bucks.
Truly, the drag queens have been a major part of GLBT life for many decades, although, i don’t know if most know it or not, that many of the drag queens started out as young starving new comers to the ghetto, no place to stay, no job, no money, getting their tips from stage performance to buy yet another dress for five bucks, or steal it, to keep their sorry ass in the ghetto, couch surfing sometimes for months, years at a time until they snap out of their drunken hazed confussion, of the gradual growth of their gay self-esteem, which comes naturally from the group dynamics of acceptance and belonging in all their escapades in the ghetto.
Today, some of us veterans still participate in huge bashes, reserving some 200-300 rooms of a local hotel, the ball room, the food, holding our annual gay bashes, year after year, such as “Coronation”, an annual event which is international now.
i love them ALL.
or how about this title;
Circle Jurking with Nylons?
lol
who comes up with these titles? ha
of course MADONNARAMA is at it again, with a drag show, music and videos party ~ a tribute to all things Madonna, a warm up party for the Sticky and Sweet Tour coming to Toronto…she has put on so much weight!
If she really wanted to know Madonna, maybe she should pay more attention to her? As in the physical exercise and diet, which not only makes us look and feel great physically, it makes us feel good mentally too.
people really are their own worse enemies…including me.
don’t get me wrong, i too love to dress up funky and wild, but sometimes i think the whole sexual bravado thing is just….well….not the real me, an easy going relaxed student of life, blue jeans, T-shirt, soft sincere gentle approach of just BEing relaxed and real, completely comfortable with my sexuality, of not so much need to tell the whole world about my sexuality, rather to tell the whole world of the happiness of two loving lovers, exceedingly happy, is more like it. Albeit, sexuality is part of the fun loving dress up mode we get into, but mostly, it is the sincere geniune uncontainable happiness two loving lovers feel when they find one another in life, getting together forever more.
It’s what we all yearn for, and fearlessly i am in doing just that again someday…
As for the Madonna concert, there is no way i could go to that concert alone…a night out together, the loving lovers enthralled not so much about going or being anywhere particular, in so much as the enthralled loving feelings of BEing together is what it is all about for them…
as for the ‘good luck’ thing, i just don’t believe in luck of finding of soul mate lover.
so many we meet along life’s road, of many we passby for whatever reason, their substance abuse, their emotional unavailability, their not tuned in to just BEing themselves, sweet loving, gentle, mildness of their real self which is sincere and graceful in approach of another they find themselves attracted or drawn to, usually someone alot like their true self, confident and secure in themselves, happy and joyful of their life in outward appearance, a reflection of the delight they feel inwardly.
I see two genuine loving lovers getting together, not by luck, but by knowingness of what they sincerely yearn for within, someone like their own tender loving gentle and graceful self, where if they are not tuned into just BEing themselves, they won’t necessarily recognize or approach the one most like them, which they could of, if they were ‘READY’ to meet.
I also believe God aligns us together in life for a reason, as far as my understanding of God goes, which has more to do with the knowingness of the divine true self in us ALL, than just merely meeting loving lover soul mates, where in truth, we are all more alike(unknowingly for many) than not alike…
i know when i do get together with my soul mate lover someday, it will be exceedingly happy for both of us inside, and in outward uncontainable appearance as well, which will be of love devoid of the element of fear, rather ‘FEARLESS”, is how each moment that passes by will feel for us both…as they say…you just know.
fear then seems to be the block for soul mate lovers to truly get together, where it starts and stops with knowingness of our SELF, and the time taken and spent in getting to know your SELF.
i mean look how many people are so obviously not right for each other….bin there. done that way too many times…
patience is a virtue?
patience is wise in avoidance, wise in knowingness, wise in connectedness with SELF within, SELF within another…
at the end of life, we have only our SELF to ultimately blame for any relationships we allow our SELF to be found of, most notably, the relationship, or lack of one, with SELF.
she is smiling agian, yes?
oh, i know you better than you think i do…as in, i know my SELF as well as YOU do YOU…or me…
and i am not as fearful as i used to be…where in truth…we will both go do our own life with who ever, where ever, going seperate ways, and likely laugh at one another in doing so…as in…what were you thinking?…or…you can’t possibly be serious, i mean, come on!
lol
you’ll see….andy was right…andy is always right! ha.
well ok…maybe not always, as that is how we learn in life, and we should be thankful of the lessons we learn from each and every soul we meet along life’s road, just as it was Troy who taught me the most, who hurt me the most…where it was i who betrayed us both…
i unwise at the time….that’s all…
i am wise today…and everyday from here on….knowingness of what works for me, for another who is just like me….the divine true SELF within us ALL, albeit, most have unnurtured, unprotected, and unloved issues of their own behaviours, and lack of descerning wisdom in avoiding those who are not appropriate for us with respect for our mental emotional well BEing….which is the most important issue of life….of a true loving successful life of happiness.
we know…
or at least i know, and i feel confident you know too…or you better know, lest i have to kick your ass again! ha
who loves you more than me?
oh, i don’t know….last time i checked it was approaching the one billion mark world wide, of people who love Madonna…
still…i know how much i love her too, and lately, i have sensed what i always wanted to know all these years, that she loves me too…
she loves us ALL, just as Jesus loves ALL, just as God loves ALL, just as We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
bless you
bless you
bless you
I just did a mash-up of “Where Love Lives” giving it a long instrumental ending. I love it:
http://www.ipod.org.uk/WhereLoveLives.mp3
I’d love to get back to doing music again one day.
what’s that old saying?
a relationship is only as healthy as the two people in it?
ya.
I haven’t written a song for five years.
ya, me too!
music was my most beloved passtime as a teen…
deep within….i know it still is my greatest passion as far as extracuricular activities go, that and sex of course!
you mean you haven’t written a TRUE soulful song in five years?
I mean I haven’t written diddly squat in five years.
I can’t remember which way round the keyboard goes.
so what would it take to write those special songs?
a life long true and faithful friend till the end?
ok…i give you my life long true and faithful friendship till the end…just don’t kick me too hard when you get in your bad moods ok?
lol
i am very sensitive ya know?
was that a sexuality question?
felt like it was…
it is not so much about sexuality, is it?
“so what would it take to write those special songs?”
Just a keyboard, actually.
Well, one of those music workstation things from Korg, actually. I don’t like using a PC.
I don’t write love songs. Too many love song in the world.
i like the deminished chords, and those rare chords no one even knows about…
i like how the striking of the keys of a piano cause a rippling of emotions in me…
I deliberately don’t get too technical with the songwriting. Keep it simple, I do. Never learnt the tricky stuff.
be it where ever i am, or what ever mood i am in…
there is one guitar piece i will search for, if i can find it, which stirs the soul like no other piece of music i have ever heard or played…
Bands lose it when they go all technical in the studio. The best pop is simple.
Everything you ever do or say is really intense, isn’t it? You never really let your hair down and relax, do you?
why is it people run around in such hurried fashion like they do, like what they do is all so important, when in truth, the tenderness of holding you lover’s hand or kissing their lips is the only REAL importance in life, feeling the sweet loving emotions of love you have for another?
ya, i know…i got pissed off one day and cut all my hair off like Britney did…so i don’t have any hair to let down.
lol
Yes, I hate in when people rush around. Life should be savoured.
And sometimes people seem so wrapped-up in themselves, don’t they? Like they’re not really connected to the outside world. They don’t really experience it, don’t really live.
“Work, shop, watch DVDs, drink wine”. That’s most people’s lives.
And they complain they’re not happy.
That’s because they’re so bleedin’ unimaginative with their lives!
actually, i am more relaxed now than ever…having left the bullshit corporate world behind.
truthfully, i feel as calm and relaxed as did in high school, which is having no worry or concern for what anyone shall ever say or do, where i am concerned, knowingness that if they don’t hold my hand like i yearn to hold theirs, then it is their loss, not mine…
And they’ll spend 20 minutes in the DVD shop wondering what to watch, but they won’t spend 5 minutes thinking about the really IMPORTANT questions in life.
i am imaginative…even of the little resources i may have, that is not what matters.
what matters is the free flowing of emotional fearlessness, is it not?
Yes, I think you’re imaginative. Definitely.
i am so done watching DVDs, TV…ahhhh…..other people’s unimaginativeness….
i know i am connected, but not in the way most think or feel.
it is a higher level of awareness of the subtle intellect
is it just me…or is there a fear which permeates society
we live in a controlled world, controlled by fear mongers
You spend too much time here. Time which could be more profitably spent eating stuff.
“is there a fear which permeates society”
I don’ t feel it. I think living in a small town helps.
London is very impersonal. That tube thing – horrible. Depressing. Lose faith in your fellow man.
i mean everywhere you go, it is there…
….be it, “oh, you have to dress a certain way to come into this club bullshit mentalities of the small dick guys with no substance….to “oh, you don’t live in a certain neighborhood or drive a certain car for us to give a crap about you fuckheads.”
I don’t think people were meant to live in huge cities. Small communities – that’s how we evolved.
ahhhhh….let me off this ball of dirt of the callus hearts!
Sounds like you live in an unfiendly place.
No fiends there. We need more fiends.
ya….i guess i am sorta out there….
sometimes i feel as though a character trying to learn and feel the lines of Romeo and Juliet, and intensity which i like, something real of the true self, which is tired of the duldrum mentalities and lackluster zeal for having a truly loving lover life.
Right, I’ve got to go stick some food in my mouth.
Good luck (or whatever) to Madonna if she has a show tonight or not. Whatever.
fearlessly i might add…
there are some of us who have that zeal which is not able to be zapped or drained, which i think comes with a healthy sex drive, results of living a healthy sex life, is it not?
no, not really…i live in a nice world…
i have an eye for those who are real, and those who are superficial in approach, those who don’t even know how to kiss you properly…you know, nice and slow, warm, sincere…
passionately…i want passionately or get out!
ya, i guess it is time for me to move on…get out and meet someone.
they are out there somewhere, and i will know them, recognize them when we meet.
you keep pushing me to, and i know, it is healthy for me to get out and mingle, sure, of course, but sometimes we have to take time out for our SELF.
that’s all i have been doing lately, and i like what i have worked thru.
i feel to vulnerable to meet anyone just yet…way oversensitive, and so i will take a few months of slow approach with others….knowing i sometimes cling to those who are not healthy enough for me, which sometimes takes me a month or so to realize, like Kyle.
l love Kyle though….i truly love Kyle, but his hangups are too much for me, and i am not just talking about his pot smoking….
what’s equally difficult is i know Kyle truly loves me too…
if he could give up his hangups….Kyle and andy would BE what we yearn to be…together as the joyful fun loving lovers we were…
By the grace of God, love comes to those who yearn for the love they feel of and for another.
I don’t see orientation as something which negates the possibility of having a truly loving lover, a male or female loving of either male or female, is how i see and feel the truth of my SELF, where emotional intensity of sincere love i feel for either…and that is what happened with me while here all this time, albeit, none of us came away with a real life friend, and yet, we were real, were we not?
i know i was.
ah well.
i am tragically disappointed?
feels tragic to me…
no one can ever say andy did not try.
but why keep trying when it seems and feels like i am the only one that wanted a real life friend…albeit, we were real, but real?
it’s a trust issue….i know.
but you know what, if you were to meet me in real life…i talk the same way as i have here, and i am of subtle gracefulness….most days.
+
BE TRUE with your SELF
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL.
+
don’t mind me….i am just pissed about losing the glass ring today…not sure what happened to it…
What’s the glass ring?
easily replaced as i have the number of the guy that gave it to me…
obviously the glass ring broke from the necklace chain, where someone, somewhere will perhaps look apon the broken glass ring, and connect with what it is spiritually…a delicate glass ring…evoking of the delicateness of tender feelings which the divine true SELF feels….and to me, ‘that’ is what matters most in life, ‘that’ BEing of my subtle intellect which thinks/feels the way i do about everything i look apon, of all things false, and true….descerning wisdom….light.
ex is still ranting away at me unceasingly, swaring at me everyday, as i pack the last boxes to be moved on Tuesday…and after that…it is not OK to speak with me in the manner he chose to speak with me ever again…get real, or get lost.
ya…i am still in transition…looking forward to utter peacefulness of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, where i can sit and do what i love doing, sewing costumes, writing, music, reading and research, and of course, time spent with those i love to spend time with…
you know who you are….just as i know my SELF…
just as…we know.
Yeah, OK, we know. But this is f***ing weird.
I have no idea if what you are saying is true. Heck, I have no idea if you really exist. I have no idea what is going on. But I am supposed to trust you, although you haven’t even told anything. That’s weird.
i live a simple life now.
i get up, get dressed, bike 20km doing my morning job, which i love, complete autonomy, no bosses…
sit by the lake somedays for however long i feel like, coffee, stop by the church, prayer and candles, stop at the cafes in the ghetto, chat up who ever is there, the usuals, the new ones, all loving family to me, forever more, same as i have been since moving here in 1994.
i look forward to each year of fun loving times of costuming, dancing, all of it, where time together is the only thing of any value in life for me and those i love to BE around, day in, day out, always a blessed day which i am thankful for at the end of each day, and thankful of the sun which rises to greet me of another blessed day for my loving brothers and sisters under one sky, apon life’s road of strangers we meet, yet more and more, we are all becoming less in feeling like strangers, are we not?
strange perhaps to some…but we know.
on we go
And you should be with me, not anyone else. And the fact that you chose to be with someone lese – that’s weird.
Why don’t you talk straight with me for a change. For once, you owe me that.
Give up the act.
as equals, we are inspiration for one another which keeps us connected with our true loving free flowing feelings, which is the tender graceful sincere gentle and mild true feelings of the divine true SELF of us ALL.
Why does God bless ALL?
Because we are ALL children of the light of loving compassionate wisdom which lights the way for ALL generations of mankind of safe passage into the future world of the kingdom of heaven on earth.
kinda silly to think heaven is any other place than where we stand, where knowingness of our subtle feelings so sincere and true that we feel for another, of true tender loving forever more feelings is true of us, is it not?
it is for me, of many strangers i have met apon life’s road.
best of all…it will always BE TRUE for me forever more, where in knowingness of such, is the best part of it all…it is TRUE of us ALL.
thanks for listening(feeling).
blessings to ALL
bless you
oh hi!
You could give up the act for five minutes. It wouldn’t kill you.
ok…i give up the act.
i want to BE with you forever more, and you know i do, where i too am of knowingness of the REAL YOU, am i not.
it is layers or doors we pass thru(fear based doors of ego), that’s all.
but like anyone, i am insecure and not wishing to impose or just throw myself at anyone, where i always need the reassurance of their feelings before venturing further.
i am not about anything other than a true and faithful friend first, of no agenda, of sincere probing for safe passage, leading by example(for example).
but there is a fearless place i know of, and i know you know of it too, yes?
ok…good then…we have opened up to one another….finally.
best news i have felt in years if you must know…
how i have prayed so sincerely.
how i have cryed loving tears of knowingness of my loving feelings which are pure and true for you.
how i have come to know, the me in all of YOU
what was the glass ring?
true loving life everlasting is what glass ring represents, a place of fearlessness where only love surrounds.
You call that giving up the act? You know, I should get angry.
i would rather die than lose what the feels like, knowingness of what fearlessness feels like, knowingness of only love that surrounds, which i always feel when i am Jesus in the desert.
i have not opened to you in the way i want to, which has no fear of any kind, and no pretentious either, of true spirit of my divine true SELF who is alone with Jesus, of intrepid uncertainty in approach of many, although i do approach, but usually do not stay…a passerby.
i am still evolving into the fearless one
I know you’re insecure, and I know you must be a bit screwed up. You’re **very** insecure.
Look loook loook just stop with the blinking act you are doing my head in.
I can’t read that stuff. Can’t you talk normally?
of recent i had not set healthy boundaries, but i have taken action to do so, and i am still in transistion, so bare with me in my insecure haphazard and awkward approach with you somedays.
and yet, it is clear of the path i have chosen of enlightenment, is it not?
it is the path to the divine true SELF of us ALL, and i am fearless in my striving towards my SELF, evolving, however slowly, however many trials and tribulations, ever growing in wisdom which is not of the unwise approach like most in the world, where in truth, only 5-10% of the world has psychological/spiritual fortitude of wisdom of the path i speak of.
i still don’t understand how it is possible for us to ever come together, and i am terrified of chance maybe we would, equally devasted that we may not.
is that true enough for you?
Listen, if that’s the only way you can talk then OK I accept that. I know things must be a bit traumatic. I am being very understanding here, you know.
Listen, we will be together.
But there is absolutely one thing you’re going to have to do for me and it sounds like I’m being really shallow and irrelevant and controlling here but there’s something that’s important for me.
And I know you’re insecure and I know it’s difficult for you but I wouldn’t ask it unless it was important for me.
I know you won’t like me for this.
normal according to what?
the way the world unwisely acts and behaves with each other, of so much useless fear based attitudes which unwisely seperate, false, not true of the yearning the divine SELF yearns to feel, that which is fearlessly loving at all times, of no fear or useless attitudes of learned behaviours.
like i said, i am alone in a desert with the one who is most wise of me.
i will write about as i evolve.
sure could use your continued support, and yet, i sense you too are yet evolving into the fearlessness i speak of.
it is a most magical of feelings, and i have felt it for many years now.
it is not up to me, of our path together, but what i do know, we are of the same likemindedness of the place which is without fear, are we not?
But it’s really quite a big deal for me that when you feel able if you could put on a bit of weight and just get a bit more food in you and just not be so extreme about that kind of thing and just put a few pounds on because that is actually a really big deal for me.
You’re getting older. What the heck, just let yourself go a bit. It’s not letting yourself go – it’s just being more relaxed and normal about life.
look, i am not here to abandon anyone, just as i cannot abandom my SELF, you know that.
i am just in transition, that’s all, and one hell of a transition at that…you have no idea how badly i have been treated, and yet, it all is of the light of evolving goodness of my chosen path, which is becoming more and more enlighted beyond most people’s comprehension, not of wealth, status, race, religion, sex, orientation or politic…rather, of God.
I’l still love you when you’re old and fat. Really. No prob.
But it’s the chasing of youth I’m really not keen on.
ya, i know.
look, this world is not ever able to get the best of me, ok? not ever, as i know i am beyond most any in my comprehensions of human behaviour, beyond even the most professional of professionals, where i easily sense their own inner fear and insecurity.
the thing about venturing into the desert alone, and evolving, is the world does not embrace fully or question for that matter, of the higher subtle intellect of the divine true SELF.
there is more than meets the eye in mere psychological perspective, and perhaps that is where we sometimes seemingly disconnect, where the disconnect is not so much of either of us, as much as it is of the world and all of it’s useless fearful egotism.
wow…you have really opened up today.
why are you so concerned about me, as you appear worried of me.
i am exceedingly wise, and of far more fortitude than most any in life. I had to become wise in order to survive what i went thru, which has been a blessing for me, has it not?
bless you for your words with me today….words i have longed to hear.
bless you
Yes, I have opened up. This is the truth.
Listen, a few extra pounds around your chest is actually a seriously major big deal to me. Call me shallow, but physical things are important and a relationship that doesn’t get the physical things right is heading for problems. So get a few pounds on you and good body fat around your chest. Comprende. These things are important to me. And in return I can help you out and do things for you. It’s a team and we sort things together.
i have journeyed long, just as you have, a very long time of deep introspective thinking and feeling, evolving each day, have we not.
remember the words, “i was there in the beginning?”
it is knowingness of the place that is devoid of useless fear like that which grips the souls of all precious loving souls of the earth, and that is the light which shine thru and outward in appearance, which nurtures, the loving divine true self of another, which is what many do not realize your approach them, which is of God.
forgive my silly awkwardness which is childish at times.
bless you
The muscles I can take or leave, comprende?
apon a bridge of trust i have walked apon all these years, just as you have, and look how fearlessly loving we have become, and all those who have felt what we yearned to feel, and for them to feel what we feel.
it is of God’s divine WILL, is it not?
I’ve had a few glasses of wine and I’m emotional and I’m not often like this.
lol
oh, i can still beat her in an arm wrestle, and she knows it. ha
Well, I can only hope the message has got across. I’ve been building up to this. I’m sorry to nag.
forgive my uncertainty with you.
i get moments where i yearn for your certainty, which nurtures our knowingness of love for one another.
it is a trust thing we are working thru, which will take more time.
i only have time, and my feelings for you.
Yeah, no problem. The trust thing will sort itself out. This period is very difficult for both of us. Let’s just try and get this out of the way as best we can.
i want to work with you, not for you, in likeminded spirituality of our pure sincere knowingness which is devoid of fear, which we have been experiencing with one another all this time, have we not?
both of us have journeyed a very long time, and we have not fallen…stumbled, but fall…no way….not possible.
OK, I’m going to have a shower and get to bed.
i am ok…i heard what i yearned to hear today.
bless you
Night night X
i move to my new place permanently on Tuesday, where i will experience the greater self assurance which comes when boundaries are set, and the negating of further negativity is finally felt.
it has taken longer than i thought it would, so much packing…
alas…i am FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank U!
i so needed to hear words of truth today.
i have no expectations, other than expecting you to always BE respectful of YOU, where sincerely i know i am deep within, in the core of my BEing, our sacred place of love devoid of fear and doubt.
bless you
bless you
bless you
thank you
hey, you know what i love most about Rosie?
is when she gives that look…you know…that all knowing look, where she turns her head to one side, and the looking out of the corner of her eye at you, that all knowing smurk or grin…U know what im talking about?
love it!
she is our saviour…of saving grace…of saving face! ha
bless U
body weight?
she is worried about body weight, when i am talking about forever more loving life everlasting for ALL…can you believe that?
body weight?
that is something anyone can do, but try and destroy their own egotism, not only nearly impossible for them to do, but something they do not question or address in their aimlessness of so many, as Jesus says, “like those who shoot arrows into the dark hoping to hit the target.”
key word…hoping.
and that is the mystery of God which eludes everyone, which is of the dynamic of their own insincere approach of sincere diligence, determination and steadfast knowingness of what grips the world, “Crucial Lacking of Desire for Wisdom(God’s divine wisdom).
in order to shift or transition past and thru the layers of doubt which grip so many souls, these useless snares of whatever, is where a seeker comes face to face with Jesus in the desert, mentally, emotionally, physically…where the exact sameness of emotional experience permeates one, acknowledges one, where God says openly, “You have seen what we have yearned for you to come into the knowingness of the divine true SELF Jesus, ‘that’ of YOU which Jesus yearned for ALL of YOU to come into the pure sincere knowingness of which Jesus came to know, the sacred place of emotional certainty of ONLY LOVE, devoid of all the useless absurd unwise negativity of the many ignorant teachings of the forefathers which yet grips the many aimless precious loving souls born into the kingdom of heaven here on earth, have you not?”
while this may all appear as freelance writing to many of you…truly i tell you, i know Jesus, where of anyone, Jesus knows me the most, and i him. It is the sameness which has eluded everyone, all because of the useless fear mongering of egotism thruout history of mankind, the power struggles of useless words which yet seperate one from another, of such low childish immature behaviour, we easily feel and see the truth of those unwise ones who sit apon thrones of nescience, do we not?
know this…i do not care one bit what anyone says or thinks of me, for i am fully of the knowingness of the sacred heart of Jesus, in exact sameness of emotional depth, not of eluding illusion…no…of experiential experience which is knowingness pure, true, graceful, tender, gentle, mild, utterly devoid of fear and doubt like that of the world, pure emotional oneness of my true and faithful friend…Jesus.
God acknowledges this with me, so you can all say or think whatever you want…i know the difference between Jesus and all of you.
i don’t say that in a mean way either, which many shall chose to interpret, what with their empty shallow approaches with me, in their lacking of descerning wisdom which thinks by means of feeling, uttering their useless words which are without doubt, of the hypocrisy heart Jesus spoke of. I don’t just see the truth of such…i feel it like a knive that cuts thru my soul, of so many words the aimless souls speak with one another.
~ just opening up abit more, that’s all.
in truth….i am of deep emotional waters of exceeding wisdom which are not easily penetrated by words or thoughts of any. so think and say what you want…you do not fully know me, just as most do not know Jesus or God.
i am a seeker, nothing more, a humble student of God and the greatest teacher of all….LIFE, nothing more, of no desire for accolade, wealth, status or boastful pride or ego in speaking like i do, if anything i would rather continue as i have for the past twenty years in continued writing of the many books i have written, which i continue to eloborate on, day in and day out, of knowingness that great amount of wisdom which flows forth from the fountain of everlasting life, of a life which i am running out of time with, in all the introspect no time constraint truth wisdoms which are being written, in my mind, the recorded words of God which serve ALL generations of the future, the key of wisdom which is of God’s divine WILL for us to BEcome the WILLINGNESS to drink from the cup of wisdom meant for the divine true SELF of ALL, which stems the tides of further war in the world, empty apathetic starvation yet in the world, of the spiritual poverty yet in the world, where in truth, we are of the knowingness of the exceeding abundance of loving life everlasting, are we not?
truly, we yearn for love with another, do we not?
well ok…maybe not with me, but we do yearn for love with another, yes?
lol
(andy rambles on and on, everyone wondering what exactly is andy talking about, wondering if maybe, just maybe, andy really did find the cup of wisdom of everlasting life which flows forth in great abundance, restoration for the divine true SELF of ALL)
just maybe guys…
ok…i will post the hundreds of pages of free flowing research and writings for all to read, but be prepared, it is not simply words you read, rather those who know how to read the words of God, are of the knowingness that it is by means of feeling the words of truth wisdom, which restores sight to the soul. The length and breadth of the writtings are extensive and of interwoven connectedness which all point to the same thing….love devoid of doubt meant for the divine true SELF of ALL to feel and come into the full light(knowingness) of the precious loving soul of ALL children of the light of God’s divine WILL of wisdom meant for ALL.
And, i may even reveal the real time words of God with me for any and all to ponder, but you may not realize, it is the words of God speaking with you at the time you read them, at least not until you hear the crashing of lightening in the instant or moment of time, where God greets you face to face, a chosen time not of you or anyone, rather of God’s chosing.
ok…i think that about covers my intolerance of egotistic approach any of you may wish to approach me with, yes?
enjoy the blessed day…and yes… i really do need to get out more…it’s just that i find most rather annoying in all their emptiness of words with me, that’s all, especially the bitter nashing of teeth so many are with one another….not indifference am i of any, rather, knowingness of the difference, where i am compassionate for so many aimless souls which do not question their own divine true SELF, of what is nurturing, protecting, evolving for sake of them to come free of the many useless bitter snarings of their heart, mind, body, spirit and soul.
M knows what i am talking about.
she is of the knowingness of God, just as i am.
it is a pure sacred emotional experience, which seekers come into pure knowingness of their own depth of love within.
we know.
bless you
ok…on the key word ‘hoping’
that is what grips the world, unknowingness relpaced with hoping.
i am going to shatter the hoping mentality of everyone, and replace it with pure knowingness, where in my knowingness, it is knowingness which is the door, not ‘hoping’, like those of empty luke warm praying like so many do in congregations with the many merchants of God.
to despell the hoping mentality, let me say this…”I am of God’s divine WILL.”
my descerning wisdom which thinks by means of feeling before speaking(mostly) are the words spoken which are not empty or false, rather are of pure truth knowingness, not shallow, not aimless, not ignorant, not apathetic, not unloving, where each and every word is of God’s descerning wisdom, where all the words are connected together as ONE KNOWNGNESS, not unknowing hoping.
Did Jesus speak like as one of utter conviction, or did he go around wondering like everyone he spoke with?
No….Jesus spoke with pure 100% knowingness…why?
BE CAUSE….Jesus BEcame the knowingness mentally, emotionally, phsyically.
and in so doing, coming fully into his own knowingness of the exceeding abundance of God’s pure sincere loving compassionate wisdom, what did Jesus realize that is of most significance?
He realized the pure undeniable, unwavering, unchallengable TRUTH…it is TRUE of ALL.
blessings to ALL
bless you
i am not here to cast judgement apon anyone, rather i am here to shatter the hopelessness of the world yet gripped by spiritual poverty, which is cause for all apathy of the starving children of the world, and the numerous unnecessary deaths of so many children daily.
Truly i tell you ALL, this world is not yet of God’s divine wisdom meant for ALL, and great is the transition yet to come, of the transition into exceeding joy which comes with the abundance of wisdom that restores ALL precious loving souls to their natural state, where it is wisdom which protects from all untruthfulness, and love which nurtures to sustain against all things unloving, where it is God’s wisdom which ushers in the kingdom of heaven on earth, of the many precious loving souls yet gripped by so many bitter unwisenesses of the teachings of the forefathers which Jesus railed against, speaking words of truth which reveal the truth of all things he looked apon, reflected apon, introspectively thought about daily, and spoke with clarity for all to hear(feel).
truly, it is by means of your feelings which sight is restored to your souls.
truly, i speak with clarity as one who is of the knowingness of God’s divine will for ALL, where i used to think optimistic about the abundance of the business world for sake of the world, but today, i realize the business world is not about abundance for ALL, rather is more of the mentality for self-serving abundance, and a cold one at that, which we now see the truth of such, in the cold calculated approach of the businessman banker with us all, do we not?
TRUTH
rather, the new understanding i now embrace, is of the knowingness of what Jesus wanted us to come into full knowingness of….the pure sincere tender loving feelings which YOU feel of and for another, of the feelings you feel within, which does not have the element of doubt or fear.
It is the “Love Devoid of Doubt” feelings that Jesus came into full KNOWINGNESS of about his SELF, which he knew was true of him…true of us ALL, where all are capable to come into the full KNOWINGNESS of Love devoid of useless absurd doubt, like that of the doubt found in the world, in all their unBEcoming conduct, every second of every day, in ALL one says or does.
Truly, we know the feeling of Love devoid of doubt already, do we not, and is ‘that’ not what we YEARN to FEEL.
i know some of you are of the KNOWINGNESS of the feelings of love devoid of doubt, which some of you feel while in sincere prayer like you do, do you not?
ok then.
hey, what’s that classic song go like?
Hear me
Feel me
Touch me
BE me
i forget the name of the song. i think it was a soundtrack to a film, was it not?
lol
thanks M, for letting me speak freely.
God bless you
thank you
bless you
(M scratches her head, wondering to herself, oh no, what have i done, giving so much latitude to andy, nurturing and protecting to such an extent, as she wonders outloud, “will he ever shut up?”)
i jest….
you ain’t seen even 1% of my research, but in time, you all will.
in truth, it was the impact of Troy’s life, which cut thru to the core of my being, where i discovered the mystery of Jesus and God.
“It is by means of pure sincere 100% depth of emotionally feeling, that one comes into the full KNOWINGNESS of the light of Jesus and God, ‘that’ which is of pure truth of the sincere loving feelings of us ALL.”
thank you Troy. God bless Troy. thank you God.\
bless you
hey what time is it…M goes on stage soon!
i pray only LOVE for Madonna!
i always did.
and i know i always will.
always.
so just forgive my occasional rants from time to time, and realize, i love YOU like i love my SELF…always of the tender delicate true self andy, a mere student of life, Jesus and God, just as i know ‘that’ to BE TRUE of YOU, so obvious the light of love which flows forth into the world for ALL to feel, Madonna loves us ALL.
always did.
without doubt….always WILL
always…of God’s divine WILL
blessings to ALL
bless you
and let’s face it, this world can do without any more misery, yes?
ok then
on we go
the stage of LIFE that is…eternal Loving Life of ALL
blessed be this day and each day after forever more.
bless you
oohhh…i found the glass ring!!!!!!!!
it was on the back of my neck of the necklace. duh!
figures…uncertainty and hopelessness replaced with KNOWINGNESS!
ah…there it is, right where it always was…as Jesus says, “what you look for…has already come, and it is the feelings of YOU in ALL of YOU, that of my SELF, equal exact sameness of me, of YOU, of ALL.”
that is the disconnect people have about Jesus, where rather than see and feel the faith Jesus has in YOU, most reflect apon the faith they have in Jesus, of their ‘Crucial Lacking of Desire of the Wisdom of Knowingness”, where Jesus was the opposite of such, and indeed, the opposite of many, was he not?
and yet…the SAME.
~ mystery of God which reveals the TRUTH, where TRUTH does not ever fail, and rather it is ALL of we(mostly) who fail to FULLY embrace the pure sincere TRUTH of the tender loving precious feelings of the divine true SELF of YOU, sameness of the feelings of Jesus…no different in any way, where full knowingness comes to those who sincere feel the pure 100% sincere love they have of another. It is in those moments, where their divine TRUE SELF shines brightly within, and uncontainably brightness in outward appearance, is it not?
kinda silly to BE anything other than LOVING, is it not?
(“ain’t got time for your sorry ass unloving unBEcoming conduct”, as andy breaks into one of his vogue routines, “Talk to the hand biyatches!’ …”I love Madonna, and that’s final!”)
lol
bless you
i jest….
i love ALL
bless you
oh oh….ssshhhh!….here she comes…..quiet!
“Oh hi dear….i was ah….just talking to everyone about Jesus and God, about what we know about God, you know, the same stuff we always talk about?….”
(andy cringes, hoping she has something nice to say to him)
“How’s your day going dear?”
(andy hides behind a door)
ah…tonight was her night off….four shows in a row coming up…should be fun though…New York City is a fun crowd!
breaking free from unwiseness into wisdom…
ready?
ok…here we go…
~ Radiant and Bright is the Light of Eternal Truth Wisdom which does not change or waver…eternally unable to fail forever more
Wisdom # 1
+ The unwise snare of useless uncertainty is of the many innocent souls yet of unknowingness of ‘love devoid of doubt’ +
only a few thousand more to go…so kick back and relax awhile…
i ain’t going anywhere other than where i am easily found…
“what’s the name of that ball of dirt in the universe again?…oh yeh….Earth!” ha
“and how many inhabitants thus far….what, six billion plus?”
hey, this would make for a great film script, yes?
trumpets sound loudly as someone comes forth and shouts out loud;
“Behold the opening of the gates into the kingdom of heaven!”
don’t mind me…i’m just bored, that’s all, with nothing better to do than annoy ALL of YOU.
wow! what a beautiful sunshiny day, yes?
(andy spins around on one foot, doing a full 360 spin, one hand high above his head, that other, Annie style, held out to one side, feather bowa(pink…no wait…purple…no wait…rainbow), a cool gentle and soft the breeze apon which feels so good in the warm radiant sun shine)
blessed BE this day
bless you
God bless Annie Lennox. thank you God
bless you
here comes the necessary fire sale of the banks, which will see the needed nationalizing of the banks, which will see stability come with a few banks who will operate in an orderly fashion, unlike that of the wrecklessness of conduct of banking in the past…relax everyone…it’s just a transitional phase we are going thru, which will level out.
the values of realestate do not fall below a certain level, which is alread hit the lowest level, not able to fall any further.
the banks know this about realestate, and are just adjusting accordingly, albeit, the economy is taking a hit.
thankfully, this will see worldwise inflation come to an end, which is a good thing.
Asian gold is still your best investment as far as stability, but hey, what do i know? ha
Asia has surplus cash stock piles, and in my opinion, is the most stable economic environment of any country, which saw growth recently, albeit, they too are feeling the reality of the economy which is leveling off.
the Dow now below 10,000.
it was below 10,000 for decades in the past, so let’s not forget where we came thru.
of course, there will be many companies which may close in the coming year, of a new environment which is shaking out many nervous investors.
Asia is our best friend, as far growing economies, and will likely be at the table for the fire sale of many stocks in the market, as they do have stock piles of cash, and their economic outlook of the future is hugely bright, growing exponentially in the coming decade.
hey, what do i know, i am just the weatherman forcasting of the future. lol
God bless Asia.
the bigger banks need to let these smaller banks fall, and buy them at fire sale prices…it will see them with gains in the coming years, both from holdings, as well as lower operating costs which historically comes with the merging of banks…
ya, i have studied business for years…can you tell?
i welcome this new horizon which is coming.
hey, who’s buying lunch?
i’ll…ah…just be at my desk, if anybody wants to chat…
ok then…
enjoy the blessed day everyone
looks like some of you may need to get a new job.
trying working with the farmers for a year…low pay, but hey, they eat well, and think of it as a wonderful sabatical for you, of outdoor fresh air, the birds, all that sunshine, rather than being so negative and afraid…shessshhhh…you guys put way to much value into your materialistic desires, things of no value in God’s eyes, nor should be of anyone’s eyes, agreed?
not in my eyes…i know what is of value…me.
hey, who’s buying lunch?
well ok…fine…looks like im on my own again…let’s see…Whole Wheat Honey Bread….toasted….hmmmm, all natural wholesome goodness, right from the farmers fields! hmmmm!
blessings to ALL
bless you
(andy waunders back to his desk, where he has big skyscraper lego buildings, which he topples off his desk onto the floor)
lol
Good luck Madonna for her show at Madison Square Garden!!!
Let’s hope she gets enough good luck and fortunate lucky breaks so that even if her meticulous planning fails completely she’ll still be fortunate enough to get enough lucky breaks to carry her through to triumph!!
X
http://i263.photobucket.com/albums/ii153/geminy2008/good_luck_graphics_07.gif
Triumph is a good band too…yeh…i love Triumph…SuperTramp too!
You BE Triumph….and i’ll BE SuperTramp!
lol
ohhh…the lucky horseshoe!
ah…so that’s your secret, is it?
a lucky horseshoe.
i found a few of them in my life time.
im with ya all the way!
Let’s hope Madonna has a great show and she really enjoys it!
I’m of to bed.
X
ahh…hope?
no…don’t hope…know Madonna always has a great show, for she is loved by many, and is why she keeps doing what she does, year after year…knowingness of what we all need, an older brother or sister who is always there for us, to keep us connected with that special loving place inside of us ALL, pure and true.
I hear they loved the violin’s in your show,
& i loved the war dance in 4 minutes
there is a god
it’s the tears that reveal to us the sincere depth of out compassion, and knowingness of the divine loving child of God YOU…here in heaven….stuck with me.
~ our compassion
i suppose out compassion works too, yes?
that’s where you find PEACE in YOUR HEART.
that is just like my heart…like everyone’s heart.
and that…is what heaven is…the knowingness of the tender mild gentle sweet loving child of God YOU, that sincerely connects with another, of the true grace of God that tenderly holds the hand of another, just like YOU…that is what Love devoid of doubt feels like and is, when both of you feel what it is that you feel, sincere and true of both who stand with one another as equals, indeed, it is YOU who are the children of God sincerely loving of one another forever more, are we not?
i know that is how i feel about all of YOU, standing still forever more in sincerely loving feelings of all of YOU…everyday.
while merely standing with one another, we realize the only thing of value, is out time spent together, of each blessed day, is it not?
i love the graceful sincere loving feelings i feel in each waking moment of each day, free of the useless anxieties of the world, of only love that surrounds.
blessed be this day
bless you
i love you
of course, what comes with the sincere equality knowingness feelings, is the tears of joy, pure and true of the divine child of God You, yes?
The impact of Troy’s life, is what keeps me from straying too far from the truth, that of my own unwise egotism at the time, which derailed it for us both, all these useless words and conduct which seperate, untruthful of the divine child of God, is it not?
Jesus went into the desert, experientially experienced the depth of the subtle intellect of the divine child within, which fully embraces the sincere equality knowingness feelings, BEcoming the outward conduct which is a reflection of the purity and sincere feelings of the divine child of God within, speaking of the divine child within us all, both in words, and the BEcoming conduct which he became, which we all are, are we not?
i am…BE CAUSE…we are.
all the useless words and learned behaviours of sexism, egotism, homophobia, of whatever seperates us from the pure equality knowingness feelings that are pure and true of the divine child of God within us ALL, are what the false teachings of the forefathers are.
it is easy to explore all these useless words and unBEcoming conduct so bitter to the taste, which go against the divine child of God within us ALL.
and ‘that’ is what the kingdom of heaven is, the divine WILL of God’s divine loving compassionate wisdom meant for the divine child of God YOU, where in pure undeniable truth, we are ALL children of the light of God, where it is our pure equality knowingness feelings which shed tears of compassion and joy, which reveals the TRUTH, indeed, we are ALL God’s children of the light, where light is the equality knowingness feelings we stand in, peaceful, sincere, gentle and mild BEcoming conduct in outward appearance, of what we ALL feel within…the TRUTH.
blessed BE this day
bless you
i am merely reflecting on what is and what is not of the divine child of God, where useless seperating of words and unBEcoming conduct of learned behaviours, is what the revealer of truth does, where it is ALL of us, by means of our feelings of the truth,
BEcome the TRUTH in outward appearance of the light of God which shines radiant and bright thru us, genuinely connecting in purity of the child of God within us ALL, despelling all the false unwise learned behaviours of the forefathers before us ALL, indeed, what Jesus BEcame, the TRUTH, in outward appearance of only wise revealing words of the pure TRUTH, of pure sincere graceful sincere tender loving touch of the hand of another, so beautiful is the joyfulness of the purity of love between, our forever more love devoid of doubt feelings for one another.
Welcome to the kingdom of heaven everyone.
i am your attending servant today, where we will soon BE arriving at an altitude of 30,000 feet, high above the useless unwiseness yet of the world.
thank you for coming, and enjoy your stay.
of course it is the outward BEcoming conduct which everyone feels of us which easily connects…the pure gracefullness for example, standing still, of yet another beautiful blessed day with one another….Heaven.
here comes everlasting joyful life loving feelings!
love it!
always did. always will.
always.
bless you
(andy spins around again and again, the music, the loving feelings between us ALL, the exceeding joyfulness radiant and bright, extraordinary and wondrous to BEhold forever more)
~ what he always wanted to feel and felt when he was Troy, and yet feels, the TRUTH of his tender loving feelings for ALL today
blessings to ALL each and every blessed day forever more
bless you
let me know if you find heaven is somewhere else, will you.
don’t bother looking, i already you will not. ha
know(you WILL not) ! ^
the most important word…know…and how it is that i forget ‘that’ word?
perhaps BE CAUSE it is not something that needs explaining, where it is our feelings we feel that is always of unceasing KNOWINGNESS?
i am…BE CAUSE…we are….KNOWINGNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Kingdom of Heaven
‘Love devoid of doubt’ forever more loving feelings pure and true of the divine child of God YOU
wow!
i got two full hours with my therapist today…she loves me!
she has abstract art in her offices, where we laughed with one another about what we could make of the art, which is so abstract, we both had some twenty different opinions of what we could see in the paintings.
i love my therapist, and that is rare for me.
she is into God like i am, as we elaborated on the words of Jesus, and making sense of his words as it relates to psychology. Jesus said, “When you make the outer like the inner, you will BEcome known.”
She referred to the process as ‘endogenous’(arising from within) and ‘exogenous’(in attentional psychology, exogenous refers to attention being drawn without conscious intention).
Then we spoke about God, where we feel the words of wisdom, and not just read them, internalizing the words, by ‘waiting’ on the subtle emotional intellect that comes with awareness of what ever it is we are trying to extract the truth wisdom of what we reflect on, discerning between the absurd and uselessness and that which is loving and useful for sake of ALL.
i love my therapist! Hey, is there a law that says you cannot marry your therapist?
just wondering…i jest…although i don’t jest about my bisexuality, as it is REALness of me.
i spoke openly with her how i overcame my alcoholism over the last 14 years, of my rule, “Not allowed in my hand or in God’s house of love and peace”, of how the substance has power over human willpower, if it is in our hand.
She went into all kinds of dynamic understandings, like people being addicted to people as being influential in ones life(birds of a feather ~ dynamics of familiarity behaviour like that of our own yet unaddressed and adjusted which takes years).
Emotional Honesty was a favorite topic today as well, of avoiding excuses(fuzziness which lacks Power of Assessment Reasoning), an all too common reality check for those attempting to take control of THEIR life, where YOU is what is most important.
She stressed IMPORTANT, in expressing it to me like she said she does her own sons, where she said, “those who know me, like my sons, know i only use the word important, when it is something important to me(her). Are YOU listening to me Andy? Your not listening to me.”, as she WAITED for me to emotionally feel…and did. “It is IMPORTANT to me, that YOU get this, for YOUR sake, in your avoiding fuzziness excuses you tend towards, rather than Power of Assessment Reasoning and Understanding.”
i got it.
~ respectful ‘OPEN’ dialog with YOU, is my approach with YOU…hoping you appreciate me doing so, as much as i do you, as i do love you, and want to know you better, building of trust between us to grow more in our chosen friendship with one another, which i want more than anything in life…but don’t want you to feel you have to(as you say, patronizing), rather because of what i sense is sincere and genuine of your desire in wanting me as a real life friend too (that i am hopefully of ~ as it feels of genuine and sincerly that you do, knowingness for me at this point) …i pray for it daily, and sense you do too, which is where we sincerely connect? Just how much, i am not sure, yet sense it to be true.
have not spoke about you with my therapist yet, as we are yet delving thru my immediate life issues(ex, moving, court, anger management, where it is my therapist who gives the thumbs up or down with the Judge, as she is a court respected assigned therapist, where she already knows without doubt that i was railroaded).
anyway…just abit about my day.
“How are YOU today?”
i sense you are smiling within, yes?
surely i am not of bland platitudes?
i give a little bit of my love to you, of so much we need to share in our sincere growing into genuine life long friends?
(andy crosses his arms, his hands firmly grasping his shoulders, as he pushes out his chest, his chin held up high as he exclaims, “you like my chest?”)
you like my new drag number?
“i need la la la la la la love!!!”
picture me doing the erotic stage performance, of my hands gracefully caressing all the various parts of my body, lips, tongue, ears, chest, working my way down my stomach, down, down, around to my butt.
“i need la la la la la la love!!!”
i love my body, can you tell?
i make myself crazy over my own body…is that weird, or normal?
feels normal to me, and the audience always goes wild when i perform for them, upstaging them all….as in, “OMG, who is this guy?” lol
of course, as a veteran who is of good self-esteem, i realize what others need to embrace within, connecting with them of the importance of self love, which is of my every heart beat, just as M does, who is one of many who inspire me…more than most any actually, healthier than most any she is, a God sent for me.
ok…how about less serious and some Jesus humor?
ok…
you will love this one…
ready?
stage…picture a guy expressing himself on stage, like that of Romeo speaking to Juliet outside her bedroom window.
“And if I go and prepare a place for you, and i will come again, and receive you unto myself, that place where i am, there ye may BE also…is the couch ok for you?”
lol
it has a teasing gay flare to it, yes?
i am bisexual, with a teasing gay flare that love entertain you, make you laugh with me, my joyfulness within that loves you.
“i need la la la la la love!!!”
“i need oooo la la lalala love!!!”
hey, can i wear your boots someday?
M dressed as a man, arm in arm with andy dressed as Madonna!
picture it…i am so there!
hey, did you know most draq queens are tops?
yep!
who knew?
hey…what does a frustrated male bisexual living a gay life, and a frustrated female bisexual living a straight life have in common?
…they both love females.
men….who needs them?
lol
Andy is a lesbian trapped in a male body.
my therapist is going to love listening to me on this one…
who knew?
come on…one of you must of known andy was a lesbian!
it’s true…i always wanted to be a female, since i was very young.
andy is a freak!
as in Fan freakin tastic!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol
Yo!
No one here.
These chocs are good.
When are we getting that new thread???!!!!!
Madonna’s not here. She must be busy. No time for the little people anymore.
Whatever.
I’m tired and getting off to bed.
How many of these smileys are there?
:[ :] :{ :} :; :
Not many, obviously.
Oh, those were better.
Right, I’m of to bed. Have a good show, Madonna.
Night night,
X
http://codex.wordpress.org/Using_Smilies#How_Does_WordPress_Handle_Smileys.3F
is that what you mean by little?
ya, i have no time for smallnesses of people.
lol
oh, those little people…ya, i always have time for them…as in every heart beat.
you only get…on average human life….2.3 to 3 billion heatbeats guys…that’s it.
make sure each one counts, be cause we all do.
and of course…it’s kinda obvious…i always have time for her!
i was thinking horses would be cool for the parade…a white black one and a pink one, like how they painted that sheep rainbow colors….how awesome would that look?
people would be like wtf? :rol:
and of couse the twins dress identically in their suits of armor…the music…the clowns…the wierd ones.
my favorite look of all is the androgynous look, where you cannot tell(or have difficulty at first), if they are male or female.
oh cool…250 billion has shifted from stocks to commodities in less than one week…
greed and fear…where fear outweighs the greed.
not sure what the realistic values are in terms of past or forecast sales of these companies.
and do investors care about Joe six pack? nope.
banks are the same. They saturated the market with housing and low low interest rates, and now, all calculated timing, they get to foreclose on people’s houses, because the renewal mortgage(owing) is beyond the asset value, taking their home from them.
and to think, Uncle Sam is now helping facilitate the banking fraud.
you’ve all been had people…and soon, they will have everything you worked for, and jobless to top it all off.
ya, greed everyone…cold heartless greed.
hmmm…i suppose the investors and the bank are the same people, are they not?
last time i checked they were…
it’s a calculated stalling game…sorta like a game of chess…only these motherfuckers think they are the smartest snakes…in God’s eyes, they are idiots.
Game Over.
i told them to freeze the markets last week…no one was listening, and now look, Mr Panic has taken over the world…question is, is it deliberate, or just uncaring?
Ok…how about deliberately uncaring?
wow -7.33 loss in one day on the Dow!
I just watched a really good documentary on BBC4 by Robert Peston called “Super Rich: The Greed Game”, basically explaining how hedge fund managers were encouraged to take huge bets with borrowed money, so the super rich became outrageously rich. And how the banks didn’t do their job when they took on bad debt. And how absolutely nothing has changed now: the government’s have bailed-out the banks and reduced interest rates to fund more bad behaviour.
the smart investors will estimate the true value of the stocks against sales forecasts, and buy back in when stocks are below the estimated value.
that’s if they come back to play.
At this rate…we will not have an economy by the end of the month, making Halloween a true hell on earth.
Behold the mask of greed
Really good show. Well worth watching a copy.
“the smart investors will estimate the true value of the stocks against sales forecasts, and buy back in when stocks are below the estimated value.”
Well, yes, they had one of these equity fund managers saying that this was a brilliant time with the market in turmoil and he was going to make a killing by buying businesses cheap.
ya. that’s what i said before…they are incouraging the banks.
truth is, the banks simply adjust their rates according to the environment, just as they have always done.
remember, Americans are at an all time high debt load.
banks know exactly what they are doing, and they are now in a winfall state.
one realestate hits a certain low, it stops.
banks know this…they think long term, not short term.
in TRUTH, Uncle Sam is helping the banks carry the foreclosed realestate of homes people cannot get financing for their renewed mortgages, as what is owing on the realestate is more than the current value.
banks love this…they get to take it back, sit on it indefinitely now with Uncle Sam’s deep pockets.
like i said, it is an asset/cash grab of both realestate and the all time high credit card debt.
OK, imagine if you are in government. And the banks say: “Look, we’ve been very silly, and we lost billions by our incompetence. Can you please bail us out?”
Would you do it? Noooo. Of course you wouldn’t. If banks are going to the wall then you deal with them individually on a case-by-case basis, but you surely don’t reward their profligacy.
Even if it means a recession. Recessions happen. But you get through them.
i mean look who is at running the treasury. hello?
Imagine if a mate of yours comes up to you and says “I’ve been very stupid, I’ve lost 500 quid on the horses. Can you lend me another 1000?” Do you say yes? No, you say clear off.
question is, all Americans are greedy.
for me, i just find it all rather amusing, like children playing a silly game of monopoly.
ya.
gambling addiction…on a huge scale, where everyone is involved, including joe six pack with his unrenewable mortgage.
On that Robert Peston documentary they showed a lot of decent Americans who had lost their homes through defaulting. It was horrible.
These people were given promised low “teaser rates” for a year, but after a year the rates increased by 75%. Just bonkers.
that’s why if you built your home without the bank, owning it outright, you have nothing to be concerned about…other than a job to feed yourself and your family.
Jesus tryed to warn the world about the banks, did he not?
i mean, we have had 2000 years to learn this one guys. hello?
guys nobody cares to listen.
Game Over.
lol
Oh look, it’s on YouTube:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ocw-m4iEdtE
Last thing I’ll say on the matter: If you’ve just spent 700 billion dollars on this year’s crisis, then what are you going to do if there’s another crisis next year?
Game right and truly Over.
ya…that’s why i call it bank fraud, because that is exactly what it is.
banks do not lose…the play to always win, just like a casino.
it is not a calculated risk on behalf of the bank…no….it is a calcualted always win winfall by the banks, even if the banks have to sit on the realestate for 5 years or more, the banks KNOW the realestate holds it value till years later.
the banks will soon have alot of family homes, and second home investor’s homes….
hey, now would be a good time to launch God’s bank of Trust, yes?
0% interest rates coming in, 0% going out, a school of though if you will, or money mangers, which teaches people how to stay out of debt, and build their homes without bank financing, all run by nice honest Christians like me.
i am sure alot of people would have loved to hear about me sooner, yes?
i am compassionate for everyone, to an extent, i mean most Americans are greed driven, and so i don’t care about them continuing like they do, these same ones who do not sponsor children in need in the world for example.
welcome to the world without God.
i find it all amusing, if you must know, the greed being bitten by one who is more greedy than they are. lol.
they should of listened to Jesus, yes?
small fish(slaves), big hungrey sharks(masters).
what bugs me, is government allows this kind of speculation in the economy, where government does not really serve it’s people, do they?
Russian markets were dropping so fast, each time the open, the close them up (investors pulling out).
It’s funny, I’ve never been motivated by money, but I’ve always been interested in economics. I studied it in my first year in Edinburgh University (Gordon Brown’s university, I think). I was quite good at it, but I found it a bit frustrating as it’s so inexact – not hard science.
I’ll admit I’ve lost touch a bit recently. You seem to know a great deal about it all? Why’s that?
I was there in about 1984 and the lecturers were all saying how Margaret Thatcher’s policies were leading the country to ruin. Mind you, raw monetarism probably WAS doing that – just killing-off the money supply.
I hope the Supreme Court steps in with new rulings against these shceming bank investors, giving peope six months to a year.
perhaps once the courts are flooded with millions of cases, they will eventually see thru the shceming bank investors?
one would pray they do, as it is the last chance for people out there, seeing as how the government is siding with the bank investors.
i don’t get it, these are multi-billion dollar bank investors, with high interest rates racking people over the coals with higher payments…since when do these billionaire bank investors need money?
oh yeah, i forgot, the foreclosure of properties it is taking back to resell later in the decade.
i see right thru them all.
It seems to me that whenever the economists say they’ve got it all worked-out – that’s the time to panic! That’s when it all goes tits-up and some new model gets hurriedly rushed into action.
I see the American National Debt clock in Times Square has to be replaced as it doesn’t have room for all the digits now required!
i was fifteen years old when the banks took our family home.
i ended living on the streets at 15, family split, everyone went different directions, my brother ended up on my uncles farm 200 miles away, mom/dad seperated.
that is my only concern, is the family crisis.
as for the second home investors, i don’t give two hoots, as it was them who helped the banks spike the markets, flooding them like they did.
Oh, this is boring. You didn’t say how you know so much about financial things?
Any chance of a new thread??
nah…the markets will level off, and Asian investors will jump back in once it bottoms out.
it is the housing market which toppled it over, and all the supply chains to it, which means it will likely be a long haul out before it ever returns to levels like before.
it is slidding worse than i thought it would though, i mean another 700 point drop in the Dow?
it is adding to the jitters day by day.
i graduated in corporate accounting…
hated the idea of a desk job in those stuff offices.
Where’s all your money? Under your bed?
Heck you’re right. The Dow Jones is down 7.3% today. Wow.
nah…i quit the American dream.
i value money as an insatiable snare.
i don’t place any value on money, other than assisting those in education.
i really don’t.
i am of the value of sincere loving life…nothing more.
in fact, i dread the idea of the pursuit of wealth, or getting all caught up in their boastful mentalities.
nope…not me…blue jeans and t-shirt forever more.
If I had money I’d be bothered. i bet Madonna’s money is tucked away in gold bullion in a suitcase. She’s pretty savvy with money.
A year ago exactly, the Dow closed at a record high above 14,000 points.
ah…maybe she took my advice? good then. she is a precious soul to me, and i know her heart is like my own.
Are you stil there? This is very slow. I’m going to have my shower and get to bed.
Good luck (whatever) to Madonna for her show if she (is/is not) doing one tonight.
the corporations are going to feel this drastically if it does not bottom out soon and bounce back abit.
not sure what the sales numbers are…having not been following any of that data….bores me.
You know how concerned I was for Madonna’s well-being, without having any ulterior motive. That’s me, that is.
RIght, nighty night.
X
it is such a nice warm evening…enjoy.
yeah…i know…i connected all the dots which lead me back to the beginning dot …
turns out it looks like Madonna!
and those like Madonna…of course.
family.
Heaven
im just the seamstress.
i like to dance once in awhile too.
it is a dancing feeling in our hearts of exceeding joy, yes?
Truly, the arts and education of SELF are of the most value in life…priority # 1 in my world.
a suitcase eh?
oh v. funny!
as if she could pick up a suitcase full of gold, and why on earth would she hide it under a bed? duh!
a vault maybe, the walk in type with high security.
whatever
the walk in type with high security and high maintance.
oh wait…that would me!
lol
actually, i am low maintance.
rather, i need qualified ones to maintain me.
and i ain’t settling for anyone else or less than qualified.
hey…ah…can i borrow your fencing armor top some night when you’re not wearing it?
ah…great! thank you!
you are so tiny…
i think it will fit me though, as i am rather small too.
(andy and M hit the clubs all over the world doing drag shows for the gay boys and les girls, andy dressed as a girl, M dressed as a boy, having the most fun two people could possibly have with their loving family who truly love them forever more)…
…to BE continued………
lol
my first girlfriend i fell in love with was tiny like you…if that is of any consolation for you…of course you are far better looking, and way more intelligent, albeit, we are all capable in God’s eyes to understand our SELF, where it is we who knows our own SELF better than anyone else.
i like the Keith’s heart running on the back of the top…what does it mean?
catch me if you can?
you want another post do ya?
ok…
of course if you are too busy, i’ll understand…just let us know either way, ok?
lots of beautiful fish in the sea, yes?
ok then…
hey, i know…they have these draq queen contests all the time, in every GLBT ghetto around the world, where you could enter as a draq queen as Madonna, only change name to something wacky, and bring the sound tracks with you and sing live….just don’t ever tell anybody you really are Madonna….
and then i could do all of Annie Lennox material….lipsinking of course, as no one sounds like Annie….
we could win all the contest prizes, buy everyone, and kick all their sorry asses at the same time, yes?
just don’t tell anyone it really is you. You could screw up on the lyrics from time to time, just to throw them off abit…don’t want you sounding too perfect, although some of your songs close to the heart deserve dedication.
just thinking OUT loud…
come on…i know you want to…i do a very good Annie Lennox…taught by the best…
well ok…if not…come to one of my shows sometime then….
was watching the Lost Gospels…
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=gtjdM17x0ws
What you bring forth from within you will save you.
What you do not bring forth from within you will destroy you.
common sense…
~ Jesus according to recorded words by Judas, the one often mistaken like twin of Jesus.
you don’t love me anymore
ahw
i don’t think the world needs financial consideration, which is actually the cause of today’s problems of restraint, greed, and the uncontrolling systematic investor speculators of the markets, which is now in chaos…
rather, i see the understandings of Jesus as a mindset of emotional honesty which is how one sees and feels the truth of the kingdom of heaven all around us on a moment by passing moment.
i know what the kingdom of heaven is, by means of my feelings on a moment by moment basis.
‘that’ is what the kingdom of heaven is.
it is a perspective of wisdom understanding of the emotional honesty of SELF, where sincerity is the center of the divine true SELF, where ‘that’ of Jesus is found within us in sameness of emotional honesty exactly that of Jesus, where purity and genuine sincerity is what comes with continued drawing in further by the words which nurture this, and indeed protect us from others who are of the haphazard and aimless approach to their own life.
indeed, is the loving feelings of YOU, which is what the kingdom of heaven is, where by means of your own feelings, you come into knowingness of what the kingdom of heaven is, where your joyful loving feelings feel so good for you to feel, moment by passing moment.
cool eh?
it has absolutely nothing to do with wealth, status, race, religion, sex, orientation or politics…
best of all…it is FREE from God for anyone to come into full knowingness of their divine true self loving sincere feelings they feel for and of another like them who is loving of them in sameness of their tender loving spirits inseperable once united.
you know how you just know when you love someone and they you?
that is what heaven is, but maintaining the subtle gentle divine self is of sincere wise approach, if one is able to always feel what they feel.
some natural grow into life long loving relationships…rare…but it does happen.
there is a cognitive wise approach that not only is obtainable, it is not able to be cast down by those unwise, a protective invisible shield of wisdom.
i suppose i should return to my writings, as that is what i am about inside.
oh hey Marco.
nah…it is your own insecurity that thinks i don’t love you, or were you talking about someone else?
nah…i love everyone Marco.
indeed, i am on a quest for what the Kingdom of Heaven is, in case you fell asleep in class.
it is an emotional honesty quest….which i have found within me.
for me, i found while with Jesus.
and what i found was Jesus saying to me, not to be concerned for any who may not be as loving of us as we may be of them, for they my yet be snared by unwisenesses which i have come free of on my quest.
i thought, who better to go to than Jesus and God in trying to undestand my SELF?
well…it is a forever more loving emotional honesty between me and Jesus which does not change, fade, become doubtful or troublesome, rather just the opposite, where it is Jesus who says to me, “No, what you look for is everlasting love with another who does not turn away from you, is it not?
duh!
of course Jesus, ‘that’ is what we all want…
but why do so many turn away from not embracing what their own emotional honesty of such?
i say blame the world with all of it’s useless distractions into nowhere places the do lead us into nowhere places, do they not.
it’s like….omg, how did you get in my house somedays…i’ve had alot of bad relationships…life being the greatest teacher for me…
lol
well fuck them…
that’s what i say…their biggest mistake they will ever make.
lol
lol, just kiddin, i know you were thinking about me yesterday, i know when you do
i want to see M show i car’nt make i quit my airline job don’t get cheap airfares anymore, my sister want’s me to see her too,
im so lonely, i love everyone but no one loves me that’s how it feels somedays or maybe they all do love me but too afraid to touch, i should marry my pillow since my pillow is the only thing i sleep with everynight.
TRUTHFULLY speaking…
we know it does not work unless it feels genuinely loving of another who appears and feels like they genuinely love us, yes?
my own inventory of life experience tells me the truth of this.
and there is no way i will settle for anything less than what feels genuine emotional honesty of another.
there…that was not so difficult, was it?
the next part is getting out to meet others, without getting to quick to just jump into relationships, where for me, genuine fun loving friendships need to form for me, before a mere, “Oh let’s go to the spa and have casual sex!” kinda approach…although i have had alot of stimulating ones like that…
anyway…where was i…?
oh yeah….inventory of emotional honesty which keeps us on track for the kingdom of heaven…
well…if i know what the kingdom of heaven is…then it goes without saying, i likewise know what the kingdom of heaven is not, yes?
i won’t just trash a relationship though if it is of someone i sincerely love…no…i will wait, walk away and give them the time and space they need to grow more into what i have already grown thru or growing thru…respectful of my self in BEcoming conduct and likewise respectful of them…
Jesus actually did this alot with most he knew…abit more information here and there of what he KNEW was the kingdom of heaven…his EMOTIONAL HONESTY.
in other words…let people live and feel what they feel.
if they come to realize they love you and want to be with you, then hey, great!
if not, or if they pretend, and it is obvious they are pretending with you(you know how you can just tell?), then it won’t ever work for you, and it is here where we find it easy to just move on, yes?
toss it to the wind, and forget about what others may or may not think of you, because in the end, it won’t ever work for you so long as it feels emotionally unavailable or some sorta disconnecting that is just not really anything close to what we know the kingdom of heaven to feel like…
you just know, when love is true…
it is obvious by both people involved, and equally obvious by both when it is not.
im not helping, i know….life sucks somedays! lol
hmmm..you have an intimate relationship with your pillow Marco?
i did too for years as a teen….ok, let’s not go there. ha
aannnyyywwayy….
sounds like you may be your own worse enemy at times, the fluctuating between unresolved emotional issues and the manifestations that come with the emotions, such as betrayal, hurt, dissappointment, fear, guilt, lonely…
i usually move away from those who make me feel that way, which may not have anything to do with them, and perhaps more of my own unrealistic expectations of them…
be thankful someone you know, knows what the kingdom of heaven is, and what it is not?
i KNOW what the kingdom of heaven is, and i am truly enlightened inside my knowingness…GENUINE EMOTIONAL HONESTY that is reciprocated with another.
i don’t view this as a light discussion either, rather it is of Jesus that i came to know it.
i walk around in the mad world, that is just not all that friendly, of such madness and insincerity of their own divine true self, like those chickens they have in cages like those huge farms, everyone just making a whole lotta noise, no one actually saying much of anything about the kingdom of heaven.
i mean really…look at the world…
it is…A WORLD WITHOUT GOD.
spiritual poverty that is wretched, death and destruction, mean spirited cold heartedness of the cold businessman which rules the world….
i’ll BE in my spa if anyone is looking for ‘me’ !
do you know when i was a teen, i would storm off at dinner parties or gatherings if i was not the centre of attention or people did’nt devote the night to ME..
lol
i just was thinking about that ..
i think i can be so selfish sometimes but in the other hand i can be so loving more than most
ah the joy of being me
may as well be good to me, when others cannot, is my approach that works for me.
who has time for fickle hearts, or uncertainty, when only certainty works for ‘me’ ?
some people make the list with me…many do not…
ya…my Diva takes back control of my life when i get disheartened by some…checking out the back of the building for a new stomping ground so to speak…
need any more clues Marco?
Marco?
hey…where did Marco go? ha
the other thing too, is you don’t do anyone a favour when you let them think their innappropriateness is ok, knowing and feeling inside that it is obviously not, as we kick our brains across the floor once again…
run!
i am looking for someone to come into the kingdom of heaven with me, as i am a devoted lover when i love someone, where we can and will lead the world by example…and for me, that is what Jesus wanted and asked us to reach for beyond his grasp….he knew what he was feelings, and yearned to always feel with another, pure sincere emotional honesty while alone in the desert(of life, where spiritual poverty was everywhere around him ~ the desert).
happy is the one who eventually gets Andy as their lover.
i already know the emotional honesty of my lover self, which connects with the emotional honesty of the lover self of another…which is where it all starts and stops….genuine emotional honesty….everything else is like those who pretend they are happy in relationships, and so obviously are not…no way…not me…i am walking to the road of everlasting happiness, and yes, i have walked alone for along time, and i know….
i know…what works for me.
awwh shuck’s
will someone stick their head on my pillow and squeeze in between my arm’s.
how do you know when i think about you Marco…explain yourself damn it!
ohhh…tease me why don’t cha?
never mind…i don’t trust you any more Marco…
as it was you who used Matt’s name in one of your posts…
does not matter…i am over it all anyway…and i am done with people who are cold and disconnected with me…
i am so done with useless friendships that leave me feeling less than i am deserving of.
i’ve been here along time…and i have succeeded in expressing what i feel is the kingdom of heaven…there is not much else for me to say, and rather i want to move on to doing life in the kingdom of heaven as ones who lead by example…
blessed is the one who chooses to be my lover…
and yet…i was loving till the last day…my last words with all of you, was i not?
forever TRUST in who you are…a child of God, a brother or sister of Jesus, where only love is of Jesus and God, only wisdom is of Jesus and God, only compassion is of Jesus and God, for sake of ALL precious loving souls born into the OBVIOUSLY unloving apathetic unwise world that has not changed that much since Jesus walked the earth.
and indeed, the snares are doing just that, are they not, snaring the life out of people’s loving spirit?
a world without God in their hearts, all lead around to and fro by the businessman which Jesus said are not of concern for God.
kinda obvious, how the world really is, is it not.
fortunately, God’s love, wisdom and compassion is constant like the sun which shines, where one merely needs to come face to face with their own denial of what snares their heart, mind, body, spirit and soul more than anything else in life, ‘Crucial Lacking of Desire for Wisdom’, and indeed, is the single cause of why the world is upside down.
not me…i stand in the kingdom of heaven all around me forever more, no matter my wealth, status, race, religion, sex(change), orientation or politic, and i ain’t no businessman, albeit, i am wise to the businessman.
what do i say to that…
cool no worries, whatever you want..
ok…
bye..
obviously nothing else left toooooo say..
oh, i have lots to say, that i will share on my blog, with my loving lover life someday…but hanging around here feels futile for me and cold mostly.
so ya…we now return to your regular scheduled programing.
while Andy makes a quick dash for the exit door….you could tell me the truth…but no one wants to tell me truth…so, why would i want to be around people who don’t speak the truth, when i am of God?
who sees thru those who are not truthful with me.
ego ,
I cannot deal with it today..
leave please, the door’s ajar
switch me on
turn me up
i need la la la la la love!
i need oooo la lalala love!
i love that song, such a great dirty dancing song!
well…some may think i am ego in my outward appearance, rather i destroyed my ego along time ago, and have built apon my true self which speaks and writes like i do…the TRUTH.
don’t get me wrong, it’s been a rewarding time for me, in expressing myself like i have…
but it gets abit boring after awhile…
you wear me out someday’s
I’m going now, ego makes me tired ..
grow up
correction…excruciatingly boring after awhile…REAL life becons me to rejoin in everlasting loving life radiant and bright…
no worries…i will post lots of pics and whatevers as i journey forward, out of this stuckness place of sojourn….my own chosing to stay at rest like i have for as long as i have…but after awhile…you sit a table alone long enough…you ask yourself, “why am i still here when everyone else is out having the time of their lives?”
ya, my therapist said the same thing to me…time for Andy to grow up in using his Power of Assessment.
at least i don’t go around playing other people using their name like you did Marco.
God knows, i know you did.
what are you like a paid therapist that works for M?
fucking bullshit doing that you know?
Matt was/is someone real to me, and for someone to play Andy’s brain like that?
well…i don’t think i want hear about it, as i have my own professionals now…thank you.
grow up?
what is that supposed to mean.
God speaks with me, and you tell me to grow up…oh…ok….
i should grow up.
what i should do is do what Matt did…walk the fuck away and keep on walking…
but i didn’t…
why?
because i am fearlessly maturity of Jesus and God who know me more than anyone else knows me, and where i know the condition of everyone’s soul, and indeed, is of my every heartbeat that i do.
that kind of growing up?
whatever
im yawning now,
goodnight all..
devil’s gottem today, i think,,
grow up…such infinite words of wisdom.
i suppose one could eloborate on that one yes?
likely for another two thousand more years in trying to find the kingdom of heaven for everyone who is yet snared by the businessman who has zero concern for the well being of their fellowman, nor of themselves for that matter, in God’s eyes.
people actually killing themselves over the fucking retarded businessman greed of wealth and power over the meek…
well not if i can help it…as God wants to speak to them ALL.
the only devil in life is the retardation that leads the world.
telling me to grow up…fucking bullshit.
disrespect yourself when you disrespect me
anywhere else on the fucking planet is better than being here tonight, and that is not hate in my heart, that is the truth….something no one wants to BE with Andy.
well enjoy your untruthfulness alone
LOL :
save the hormones for Mariah
you speak of the devil getting to me?
why not speak something you know about God Marco?
since you seem to think you are so wise
if you were of God, you would not cast fire like that apon me, where it is you who casts you out of heaven, not me…i know what heaven is, and what it is not, and this cajoling and enitcing like you do, is exactly that which Jesus railed against, to disregard anything they have to say against you.
so go talk to Jesus, and try to get to know him like i have, and maybe we will connect at a real level, rather than this charade of people pretending and lying with me.
i have my own therapists now…thank you.
it’s always my life to live, with friends of my choosing…i may choose to come back here…i may not…certainly not if i am going to be cajoled and mocked like this…not ever will i return again…as Jesus says, where untruthfulness is, you will not find me there.
who the fuck would want cajoling and mockery from a fool?
grow up…
i’ll grow up when all of you stop lying to me, ok?
in the mean time…i choose to grow away from this place of liars, and if you want to talk to me like an ordinary person then great…if not, then ejoy your blog with who ever gives a fuck for people who love to cajole and mock them.
be sure to put my picture on the dart board while you are at it.
go fuck yourself Marco.
i am going to go find some ‘real’ friends for a change, and spend real time with them, instead of spinning my wheels here.
i used to be like you, turn nasty on those that care, blame them for whatever, l
Like it was their fault i was hurting
even when it was not
only i guess because they hit a raw nerve, or because they touched my heart
but i don’t do that anymore
im less selfish in that regard i guess
these day’s
i’ve grown up a little
i don’t spew fire anymore
when i don’t get my own way !!!
sorry…forgive me…
i too want to see Madonna Marco, and cannot, but i want to more than just see her concert Marco, and she knows the truth about my emotional honesty which is pure and sincere in our knowingness of what the kingdom of heaven is.
forgive my absurd useless unwise conduct which is unBEcoming of my divine true self…these rocks are slippery, for great and numerous are the many bitter unwisenesses of the world which distract us from our knowingness of constant emotional honesty we feel of each passing moment in every blessed day that greets us all.
i stumbled on a branch along the waters edge, tripped and fell into the water….which is a good thing for me to feel my own haphazard unwiseness that sometimes gets the best of me somedays, fatigued, trying to rush something that cannot be rushed, just as rushing to obtain a university degree is not only impossible, it is absurd to even think one can….
forgive me
thank you
bless you
forgive me God. thank you God.
i found it…the kingdom of heaven.
i was my last step into my knowingness which i have recently taken…i found it… the kingdom of heaven all around us, which is our constant emotional honesty which feels each passing moment of each blessed day.
Truly, we are knowingness of the truth of this, are we not?
We FEEL the truth of this, where we are indeed of the constant emotional honesty which feels each passing moment, are we not?
BEhold the Kingdom of Heaven which is that of YOU ALL, constantly all around us at ALL times!
BEhold, for God greets the divine true self of ALL precious loving souls of the earth forever more, willing apon us ALL the divine wisdom of the halo of protection which is what the kingdom of heaven is, protective of all the divine children of God at all times!
BEhold, for that which you look for has already come!
(andy kicks back, puts his feet up, joyful of what he has stumbled apon…himself! Smacking his head on rock in his stumbling, knocking some sense into his thick skull…finally!)
lol
forgive me, just as i forgive you
forgive us father. thank you.
bless you
the journey has been long, weary and troublesome at times for me, but i am finally of coming into fullness of my knowingness of the kingdom of heaven all around us, of no more uncertainty like before.
forgive me
bless you
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL
God blesses ALL.
BEhold the kingdom of heaven all around us, constantly like the sun which is always shining!!!!!
ya, it is not about controlling another….that is imature.
it is simply about standing still and feeling the knowingness of the constant emotional honesty which feels each passing moment.
i have a rough emotional week, nothing to do with anyone, more than it has to do with me, emotions which run deep within of how everyday up to today greets me emotionally, where everything of my entire life is meant to teach me about my divine true self, of what God has wanted me to come fully into knowingness of my divine true self, where God wants me to step fully into my halo of descerning wisdom forever more, which i am now doing from this day forward.
a child is forgiven when they are tired and cranky, so forgive me likewise, as indeed, i have not be responsible in taking better care of my self, with an emotions storm i have traversed thru recently, which i welcome, don’t get me wrong, as it is all of necessary journey on the road of life, meant to teach me…
i look at all of it, my own stumblings, all meant as wisdom understanding, where i see clealy my own absurdness, and feel it too, like a sorta spiritual death when ever i am of unBEcoming conduct, not true of my divine true self which is always loving of another…
that and i have not gotten laid in awhile…
what?
lol
actually, i am exceedingly greatful of you Marco, as you have brought me fully into fearlessly feeling my true self.
you are a blessing for me.
thank you
God bless Marco. thank you God.
bless you
i know know fully what the kingdom of heaven is.
It is the halo of protective descerning wisdom which…key word here…’FEELS’ the truth of all BEcoming conduct and unBEcoming conduct of the divine true child of God, that of me, that of another, that of descerning of another, that of descerning of my own conduct which yearns always to BE the truth of my knowingness of the divine true child of God which is ALWAYS of the yearning to BE loving of others at all times, constant like the sun which is always shining.
It is the full embracing which is required of the divine child of God to step fully into and surrender to the knowingness at a congitive level, of the subtle emotional honesty intellect which feels each passing moment of life…constantly, do we not?
BEhold the kingdom of heaven!
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!
JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY!
for ‘that’ which we have yearned to know has already come, ‘that’ which is beyond all the riches of the world, that which is meant for the divine child of ALL God’s children of the earth, God’s constant divine wisdom which is unfailing, yet failing, when ever we step outside of the halo of pure knowingness, where it is the world which leads us away from the halo, in all of it’s unwise undeserning ignorance so obvious of the unBEcoming conducts, is it not?
bless you
look not to the world, rather look to your divine SELF, for that is what is required of us, to come fully into the knowingness of the constant emotional honesty where indeed we do feel each passing moment of each blessed day, do we not?
Peace in your heart is a blessing, knowing you are always loved by Jesus, God and me, is it not, of one who is always loving like you/we are, yes?
i’ve always been difficult with others…
i remember the time a girl i feel deeply in love with back in high school, where she deliberately played other guys against me at parties, driving me insane with childishness, where eventually David and i got together and invited all our old girlfriends to the same party without telling them who was who…
it was a breaking point for both David and i, where we had had enough of the hurtfulness of others, as we walked away from life then, giving the finger and saying to the girlfriends, “Who the fuck do you think you are?” and left them to think about it for the rest of their lives…
ya…these immature mindsets of mine go back along ways, and do run deep with hurtful useless pain of betrayal feelings, disappointments, embarrassed, lonely, guilt, all fear based immaturity….
things which unwisely seperate…
when i am tired or weary, these old abreaction mentalities of youth surface…so forgive my once again being absurd…for i am not of the desire for immaturity like i was then.
It is obvious i am of the desire for constant emotional honesty, am i not?
and that is most mature is it not?
it is wisdom meant for the divine child of God of us ALL.
i am going to sit with this for awhile…a week, month, however long it takes to fully internalize the wisdoms, so that i do not slip again in useless unBEcoming conducts which only do what…seperate, do they not?
sillly childish unwise unBEcoming learned behaviours.
ah well…i had to go thru my own stumbling, and now i know what the kingdom of heaven is, and what it is not…
so all of the light of wisdom goodness in the end, is it not?
blessings to ALL
bless you
all these words i don’t just say…
life’s a two way street
until you reach the cross road
indeed it is a cross road we have arrived at, and for the first time, i feel and sense someone who is of emotional honesty seeking their own knowingness of their divine true self, of the self of another who is also of the sameness of their own fearless emotional honesty, yes?
why is it i want to sabotage my own path like i do?
is it because, what i have yearned for all my life, may be true of another, and that is what terrifies me, that someone actually may love me utterly and completely like the way i know i do them?
i am of fearlessness and diligence to build the trust required for both of us to dwell in, sameness of the trust level between God and our divine true self in outward appearance…which starts and stops with me, with you within to likewise be of the desire and zeal to fearlessly move in the direction the divine child of God yearns to move towards, into the kingdom of heaven where there is no childish element of doubt, like the doubt found in the world.
i am tired of annoying immature doubtfulness of the world which drains the soul, leaving me weary…not any more, for the halo of descerning wisdom i am stepping fully into from now on.
morning bike ride…be back later…
blessed BE this day
forgive me
thank you
bless you
what a heartless world, yes?
how the rich cast aside the meek slaves, self-serving, not of God.
where are the team mentality leaders who are of God in this world?
oh yeah…they are having lunch with the finance dude.
well…in God’s eyes, it is the way the world has been for a very long time…self-serving and lost, not of certainty of emotional honesty which embraces the truth, we are all children of God…EQUALS.
it is better though, and i am optimistic, as i am not the only one who feels the equality love like we all feel in the GLBT community which is truly loving of one another(mostly).
fortunately, God’s wisdom is easy to know and come fully into knowingness of the constant pure sincere emotional honesty that one feels in each passing moment, and i will write in depth about the halo wisdom in the coming year…free for all to engage and come into full knowingness of what Jesus came full into knowingness of his divine child(adult) self, of God, equal to all, as he said, “I am not your master.”
so many immature adult children in life, like everywhere i look, i feel the truth of everyone’s aimlessness, wondering to my self, does no one seek or care to know what matters, where i feel their uncertainty at a subtle intellect level where they do not detect what i am reflecting apon while among them?
‘What goes around comes around’…I feel so bad for bitching about Palin last week ,,Ive had a shit couple of days at my lowest Eb .. I forgot all my teaching about ’cause and affect ‘ and boy have i paid for it !!..Don’t fall into the trap guys as i see so much bitching on here why? Sending you a virtual hug Peace xXx
ya, me too…i am hanging on…
…to my wisdom which sees(feels) with clarity…my sincere feelings which is not hopeful of another, rather is knowingness of another, just as i am knowingness of my SELF.
Truly we know it is exceedingly easy to get swept away and caught up in the hypocrisy heart which is ever present in the world in so many circles of chit chat nonsense, yes?
the divine self is the wisdom which is constantly of the descerning of all truth of the condition of the soul, and the reality check of how the world conducts itself in so many unBEcoming conducts which may or may not be true fullness of the divine true self’s yearning to always be of loving BEcoming conduct pure and true of the divine true self…yearning of the constant wisdom which protects so that the divine child self is able to always stand in certainty of loving feelings for another, not slipping foolishly to lesser egotistic ways like that of so many of the unwise snares which seperate, divide, cause of all war, all useless manifestations bitter wretchednesses which do indeed stem from those lacking in their desire to stand in the knowingness of cause/effect, where indeed, bitter unBEcoming conduct of one towards another, does cause feelings of betrayal, disappointment, fear based hurtful pain that naturally goes against the divine child self within us all….hence, the manifestations of these deep seated emotional turmoils which do manifest themselves in the form of anger, yes?
Indeed, Andy reflected that one well recently, did he not?
Indeed, all unBEcoming conducts are cause for these deep seated emotional turmoils within us all, hourly, daily, weekly….and the effect of the affect is the manifestations and continuations of more anger in the world, which does go around and around, of the silly immaturity of the many children of God yet sadly snared by unwisenesses, which are the teachings of the forefathers before us all.
fortunately, great has been the evolving of understanding and indeed, the greater BEcoming conduct which is yet spreading thruout the world, where many more generations are needed to one day see the end of all unBEcoming conduct yet in the world, indeed, of what Jesus spoke of, and indeed, was one of the deep compassion which reflected apon the affect/effect results of all unBEcoming conduct which lurked, just as it does today, everywhere he went, feeling the truth of his emotional honesty in each passing moment of each blessed day.
i know what the kingdom of heaven is, where i am not able to simply turn away from all that i feel in each passing moment, where indeed, i feel the uncertainty of every word someones says to me, or to another…in retrospective reflection i realize, i have always been this way, tuned into my feelings in each passing moment.
we all do, do we not, but why is it so many CHOSE to be of the untruthfulness of the divine child which constantly yearns for what is naturally occuring for the divine child of God…love devoid of doubt, where the child is seemingly constantly inundated by all these untruthful false unBEcoming conducts which the divine child feels the truth of in each passing moment?
i blame it ALL on the unwise false teachings of the forefathers before us all, and indeed, are the exact words of Jesus of whom God taught.
i met God and God greeted me
i know fully the pure undeniable, unwavering, unchallengable, and unfailing truth in everything i look apon, just as Jesus instructed, “Look apon the truth in all things, where life is your greatest teacher.”
we are evolving, and i am thrilled of where i now stand in my knowingness of what the kingdom of heaven is, the halo of great decerning wisdom as regards to all conduct which goes against the divine child of God of us ALL.
i have grown past my desires to find fault in anyone, and i do not blame anyone for the way they may conduct themselves(although sometimes i do slip out of my halo of understanding when i am enticed, cajoled, ridiculed or mocked), rather i usually find my self silently reflecting within of my knowingness of what Jesus meant by the snares of unBEcoming conduct which are WITHOUT DOUBT, the false teachings of the forefathers who did not desire God’s divine willing for us to BEcome wise of the divine child SELF of us all….where rather than anger or resent, i lean towards compassionate reflection of the truth…passingby when it seems i am up against too much negativity, returning another day, for sake of them, for sake that i remain of my protective halo of understanding, ever yearning of one like myself, a single soul mate lover and friend that i know exists for me, of my knowingness, of Jesus and God’s knowingness, there is someone meant for me…without doubt.
it is what any and all of us yearn for subconsciously, ideally cognitively like i am, pushing myself away from my own immature old self, constantly growing in the direction of what the kingdom of heaven is…love devoid of useless absurd doubtfulnesses, like that which seems to permeate the world in all of it’s fearful unBEcoming ways.
so who’s with me?
ah, you know me, i always show up, year after year…where else can i go, other than where i am always found…the divine child within us ALL.
Hey Andy, what’s gone wrong with Madonna? She sounded right miserable in that last posting of hers. What’s up with her?
If she doesn’t explain her problems then we can’t fix them for her!
Did she forget to follow our advice and hide her money under the bed?
i live each breath, each heartbeat, each footstep in my constant effort to be of comfort for all my loving brothers and sisters of the GLBT community…indeed, i have BEcome what i am, just as so many of us have, the knowingness of how we are all treated by the unwise, bitter, cajoling, ridiculing, belittling, condescending, mocker and spit apon behaviours which many of us are inundated daily by those who are ignorant of just how loving we truly are with one another in our favorite places of sincere love for one another, like the many clubs here in the GLBT ghettos of our cities worldwide.
i came here to survive and live out my life in peace.
ah, she’s probably like me, beside herself yearning for tenderness of love like i am.
like me, i don’t gives to hoots about money…we know.
when i was a young boy, i had the most incredible friendship with my cousin, where we knew we loved each other utterly and completely, without doubt, of genuine constant joyfulness of forever at play exceeding joy, which grew as time passed for us both, affect/effecting out personalities forever.
i realize today, i am out of my element when i don’t feel that with another.
Aw … babay wants huggy wuggy.
X
of course, the only way to find out, is by time spent together…impossible to merely speculate or get all caught up in whatevers, or what ifs of wondering…kinda silly be anything other than encouraging of our own emotional honesty in outward appearance…
that’s all i am doing, seeking environments which are conducive for me to grow mentally healthy in…cognitively…although sometimes i do trip over myself in my earnest yearning to belong, where my own silly insecurity gets the best of me somedays…
today, a most beautiful of fall days, i am just happy for the day, and do what i always do, feel everything in each passing moment, where ever i am, with who ever, where i connect with the importance of a mere smile or touch of another’s hand, is of my purpose in life as one who is passing thru this world…as one who is of God.
however small my life affect/effects the world, i always strive for positive affect/effect input into the connected matrix which connects us ALL, moment by passing moment.
ya….i need a hug damn it! NOW!
lol
don’t we all…world sure can get the best of us, if we are not cautious in our thinking and setting of boundaries.
i always believed that if you sit at a table with someone day after day, you eventually start thinking and behaving like they do…so becareful of who you invite to the table to sit with you daily of your inner cirlce people…
i am thankful of each blessed day, of my own inner serenity, albeit, like anyone, i get my bad hair days…but great has been the enlightenment of recent…coming into full knowingness….
all i need to do now is sit with what i feel and know of my own sincerity within of what i know fully about my own life, and the choices i make of where i put my heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, diligent to remain in step with positive radiant brightness for the divine child of God within us ALL….hence why i want to do the clowns, and all the bizarre ideas that float around in my head daily…
that is all i want to do in life, is promote the arts which are radiant and bright, be it theatrical, art, music, film, where ever life leads me too, i know what the world needs and is lacking of….encouragement of exceeding joyful spark of loving life within us ALL.
of God’s divine WILLINGNESS.
it is not about anything other than our sincere joyfulness and thankfulness of loving life, where in our joy, all nonsense of the bitter world falls away, does it not?
I just want to always encourage what it is i feel and know within me, within us ALL….that’s it…that is all i want to do with my life.
lead by example of what we feel within, outward in appearance….endogenous
it all comes down to what Jesus said, “What YOU brings forth, is what is able to save YOU.”
the YOU within us ALL.
thanks for the hug….i really felt that one!
Right, I’m off out for an evening with the works crowd, so have a good evening.
X
P.s. A new thread please!!!! This is agony on an iPod touch
i am so friggin insecure somedays!
and it’s not like me to be insecure.
just alot of personal junk in my immediate life, that’s all, ex keeps digging his claws into me daily…argh!
people and their immature behaviour…still have yet to set my boundaries as of yet with him…soon!….for his sake and mine….i can’t take his absurdness anymore, so fearful, and belittling…feels like i am stuck in some prison camp in North Veitnam somedays, daily rastions, all of my own doing for staying way too long…
ah…just life and what life teaches us, where indeed, i too am to blame for everything.
the other day though, i felt something different…hard to describe…a sort of wondering why i bother fretting about any absurd behaviours of anyone, and just let go into being me, forever free to just be me, unmessing if you will from the enmessed relationships which still grip my spirit…
not you…the morons in my immediate life…
you are much more sensitive than you are telling me, and i am sorry for my wacky rudeness….again….
forgive my unwisness with you…
it’s just that….well…you know…..
but hey…i found the key to the kingdom of heaven….damn thing was right where it always was…our heart, mind, body, spirit and soul, able to be nurtured by love, protected by God’s wisdom, of God’s divine will for us to fully embrace the protective wisdoms which entice and cajole us into being like that of the unwisenesses of the world.
it is an individual level awareness, which i know you are of…and is why i am here…you know….
you know the divine child within us all is in need of, just as you too are in need of….love devoid of doubt.
Kingdom of Heaven on earth…constantly all around us, constantly of our emotional honesty which feels each passing moment….
of course, who better have as a friend than one who truly YOU?
see that, we all followed the businessman bankers in life, of what Jesus warned us not to do…and now look, like Jesus said, “They will turn on you eventually and betray you all.”
nah…i jest…
it may level off soon…as everyone waits with baited breath to see where the bottom is, and jump back in, thundering the stocks back up thru the ceiling…like they always do, a volleyball game these investors play…that’s all. That’s what they do.
blame government for the no constraint speculation of the worldwide economy, both of the banking and stock market wide open to the few investors who are now running the worldwide economy into the ground, of absolutely not consideration for God.
~ truly we know, this world is not of God.
and yet it is of God, just not of God’s wisdom.
fortunately for me, i am of God, and care not of the mindlessness of those who sit apon the thrones of nescience so obvious to feel the truth of, are they not?
lol
well…it’s not like someone did not warn us.
for me, i am thrilled to know what the kingdom of heaven is, and obviously, what it is not….
don’t worry people, this thing will hit bottom, when ever it does, and when it does they will volley it back over the other side.
the instant connections of worldwide trading is what we are seeing, that’s all…a new era of unprecedented trading not seen before, of it’s massive swings that come with the entire world trading that has alot more investors than any other time in history, hence, the massive swing is because of the number of investors, that’s all.
they need to come up with better constraint, as this really is absurd over speculation which is unrealistic of the markets these corporations represent, although who knows what the pessimistic, realistic, and optimistic forecasts are as a whole, where attention to the pessimisitic forecasts is what would likely be realistic, whatwith the housing market data.
i just find it all rather amusing…although the family crisis issue is something which i positively despise when people lose their jobs, all because of the zealots left in control of the economy….
government leaders need to embrace the wholesome goodness of stability for sake of the mental emotional well being of the ALL, and bring in new control measures which won’t allow this sort of thing to appear again on the economic horizon, as growing investors will see larger swings of the markets, just as we are seeing today, where millions are affect/effected by it…it is just absurd that this sort of instability is allowed to exist like it does, from a mental health perspective, which is the only thing i am considerate of in life, at a personal individual level of experience.
there goes your friend the banker everyone, exiting the temple…not a true and faithful friend…not to be trusted.
not of God, nor should ever be of any of us.
they are self serving…of absolutely no consideration for the economy for their own children one day.
hey, maybe the whole thing will crash so hard into the ground we will see cities on fire, burning of houses everywhere that the banks reclaimed, chaos, anarchy…
at what point is the point of no return?
i would say about a month from now, when the fall out from the corporations hits who are now operating under tighter conditions…that’s if it does not bounce back, which it will, how long it takes is the question, as fear takes time to switch back over to their greed mode.
lol
morons….i am surrounded by morons father…their own worse enemies.
hey, maybe this will usher in a new way of thinking, like, “to hell with the rich mentality so boastful in their self-serving greed slave/master mentalities, for what they did us all!”
lol
of course, it will take a great economic impactful disaster for that, like 1929, only on a much larger scale…which won’t happen.
i am just bored with my imagination…that’s all.
look how everyone is fretting so much, like they have no concept of self-serving greed.
sadly, joe sixpack just wants to feed his loving family…motherfuckers.
i suppose the companies could increase the buy back in prices for stocks…if they are wise.
lol
good time to check that one…and keep profits for the company instead, turning the profits into expansion to meet the massive china economy yet unfolding in the next two decades…
opppss…my secret is out!
lol
as for problems, i have everything i will ever need to fix my own issues…merely by using what God gave me…my brain.
i have no problems i am not able to fix on my own.
it is an individual independent thing…i value my independence.
i told my therapist there is no way i am going to live with anyone for a long time, where even after two years, i am not moving in with them, no stupid let’s get married like so many do…no way…i am keeping my independence where i can easily disconnect if it don’t feel right for me….
people make the big mistake of rushing into relationships like they do, and find out later it was a bad idea.
it takes along time to truly get to know and trust someone, and giving them independence as well, is healthy for them, autonomy, their own peaceful place of dwelling, without feeling awkward…their own space…healthy.
20yrs now since i choose the hard road, the path of self discovery, the spiritual journey sacrificing the pleasures of the material world, (mostly)
well was it worth it ? i have to say YES most definatly, being whole to have the knowing i now have about me it has removed the shackles the self imposed prison we all often deafult into, it is truly wonderous to be free from the burden of emotions we sometimes don’t fully comprehend those feelings that push us into the growth phase of our life’s journey, yes i am truly proud of how far i come and the anticipation of the in knowing how i can also help so many others to be free to experience the love of the self is my reward, confidently so .. so.. so there you go …
LOL
yep.
it has always been our own feelings we feel in each passing moment, has it not?
sadly, those who do not choose to love us or be as loving as we are, are their own worse enemies in life, are they not?
the world is it’s own worse enemy in all of it’s, “oh, life is this way or life is that way.”
no…your life is YOUR life of emotional honesty in each passing moment, where last time i checked, if they don’t love me or want to love me, well, since when did it ever work for us when they don’t genuinely love YOU?
we can fool ourselves all we want, but we usually know when someone is genuinely loving of us, or rather, the obviousness of when they are not, yes?
i have a life inventory which is what keeps me on track for the kingdom of heaven knowingness.
the kingdom of heaven is as simple as the gentle breeze on your skin…or the drop of rain on your face, where our greatest joy in life is our loving lover, is it not?
you know that overwhelming feeling of love you have for someone?
ya…that is what heaven is.
i always surrender to my feelings and swim far out to sea with my lover, where it is like, omg, how did we get here, of only joyfulness in our hearts which is of the genuine loving feelings of the divine self, which is so incredible when two souls truly connect.
i yearn for that connection with another, and i won’t settle for the pretenders, knowingness of what the connection feels like, having a life inventory to draw from of how it feels.
kinda silly to pretend away to ourselves about another we love, where we only hurt ourselves, do we not?
there is someone any of us can truly connect with.
i don’t fret about it like i used to, having connected with many in life…always around the next corner in life, there is someone who connects with us, and i know God knows our feelings.
God has revealed his presence with me many times about my sincere feelings, even the feelings of being hurt by another, where i don’t necessarily express having been hurt by them, and instead just feel what it is i felt, where God is soothing for me in knowingness of what i am going thru at the time, ever reminding me, that many there are who are yet sadly snared by unwiseness…not necessarily of their fault.
we do have to allow others to come to knowingness of their own feelings for us, which takes time, where it is always up to them as to whether they too feel as you do.
and if they sincerely do, there is nothing in life that will keep them apart, as it becomes obvious for both in their own individual emotional honesty of each, as to what they feel, where it is not something you can cause another to feel loving of you…no….they love you or they don’t.
and when they do love you, they overcome their fear in expressing it to you eventually, of their thinking of you while apart like you do of them.
i usually get scared when i know i love someone alot…and i get all stupid, tripping over myself alot, but one thing i did learn, is not to be afraid to express myself to them, which i cannot hide when i know i am genuinely crazy for someone…certifiable i am! lol
i jest…
and of course i am always accepting of loving friendships that feel good for me, where some friends may or may not evolve into something more than they both realized at first…
i can usually detect if there is something there within them that tells me, oh, they love me…and of course the usual, oh…they don’t really love me…which is fine, for whatever reasons, not their type, not their sex, even not their political….can you believe that, someone ditched me one time because of my politic… ha
ya…for me there is no greater significance than the loving embrace of the most loving of lovers…i know the difference having had alot of lovers in life.
and of course if you are best friends to top it all off…well…hey…it could not get any better.
generally, the most loving lovers are truly most loving as best friends in life, always of exceeding insanity for one another…you just know when you clic with someone.
you just know…
and likewise, you just know when the opposite is true, something one can not usually hide from when they don’t feel comfortable for you.
i forget the intimacy of kissing a female, but i do remember how incredible i used to feel when i was with females, some twenty years ago…
yep…it is all flooding back to me…help…im drowning.
lol
feels amazing for me actually, as i really love the female body…always did, so much so i feel like a female.
not sure if that was the right thing to say or not, but i said it anyway. ha.
ah, it’s futile…i will never get a girl interested in me.
what kind of a girl would ever date a gay guy?
i mean really? Could she really love a gay guy as much as the gay guy loves her?
ya just never know….
to be continued….
a gay guy with the nick name Pansy no less…
sssheeshhhh….never get a girlfriend in highschool for too long, once Mike got talking with her about me and my Mom’s playgirl mags…
hmmmm….come to think of it, Mike dressed up as a girl one time for Halloween, which tells me everything i need to know about what Mike was thinking of Andy back then!
lol
I sumbled across this word today, i liked it so thought i’d share it, “Self-illumination”
its a good one yes..
always radiant and bright in my thoughts of you Marco.
People just need to increase their value in what is of the only value in life…time together with one another.
When you have the bubbling butterfly feeling inside in your thoughts and anticipation of another, then you already increased your value, have you not?
my therapist has a joyful montepython twisted sense of humour.
she says, “I was sad one day for not having any shoes, until i saw a man with no feet, and i asked him, What did you do with your shoes?”
lol
what a beautiful morning! wow!
Two lovers were chatting one day…
one lover says, “Do you love me like i do you, and do you…?”
(the other lover, without hesitation interupts quickly and says)
“YES!!!!”
~ The end ~
im going to go chat with Jesus for abit…be back later dudes and dudesses!
is that a word? dudess?
do you know the proof of the future is always of today, or that tommorrow is always of today?
at any time of day or night, it is always tommorrow somewhere in the world.
lol
(andy laughs while he rolls another spliff)
i jest…
~ say no to drugs and alcohol
Good luck Madonna for show etc. etc.
X
oh, you and luck…
sheesshhh!
since when did luck cause the wind to blow?
since when did luck cause me to know?
since when did luck cause our spirits to grow?
since when did luck save the gambling fellow?
since when did luck…
oh never mind…
lol
no wait….mind your mind….don’t leave it to chance…
by chance we met?
nah…i googled your name!
lol
morons….i am surrounded by morons father.
Saying “good luck” is a conventional, well-meant phrase said before an important event. It’s a “nice thing to say”.
So what is OK to say? “Best wishes”? That basically means the same thing.
I have decided that from now on I will say “Klaatu” which is the greeting in the alien language in Mork and Mindy, if that’s OK?
oh hey, i love Mork and Mindy…
Klaatu!!!
nano nano!
i surrounded by moron’s too, i hate everybody, everyone is an IDIOT im surrounded by IDIOT’s and i have been celibant for a month because everyone is an IDIOT i don’t want anyone near me..
except andy M and Rachel their my friends..
nano nano!!
~ emotional honesty
a good place to start…with self.
hey, how does that phrase go again, of how a slave who becomes free and sells themselves back into slavery, is not able to become free again?
Jesus spoke those words…
and i have been trying to understand it for years…
today i understand it…
slave to the world serving the world, or master of self serving God’s work, which is of the pure of heart divine true self, constantly compassionate, wise and loving inward and outward in appearance…
in other words, when we serve God, we serve the divine self within, as well as the divine self within another, and best of all, it is easy and fun, as you get to Just BE Your SELF.
oh and i like Annie Lennox too, just heard her new song Heaven from the link on Andy’s Blog, i’ve alway’s like Annie Lennox her music is so haunting i love it.. move’s the soul I like M music to the old stuff more like a prayer and stuff very hunting.
stop spooking me, and say hello GOd damn it
Klaatu!!
hi
my spelling is so bad..
i felt an inner joy today that was so amazing!
something i had not felt before to the extent that i did, and it felt real assuring for me, of a forever feeling of confidence because of someone i have to know recently.
and i am afraid i won’t feel it again…
ya…i ah…sorta noticed the stuttering in your posts…
i feel it everyday, then the world cut’s me down.
alone i am strong
alone i never go wrong
alone i shall be
for evernmore
alone
i have a new saying
“If you cannot be real i cannot stay”
ya, the world does weigh on us at times if we allow our self to be around those who are uncomfortable for us…
immature fearful insecure dweebs, is what i refer to them as…
i enjoy them, but their novelty wears off quickly for me…some…not all…
i had a vision today of a best friend who came along and ushered me to come and have fun, “Come on!” they said, as i exited the house to go do whatever, with great enthusiasm which was mind blowing for me to feel….
i like that saying, and it works for me…
but sometimes it is hard to be too real, as i feel awkward in doing so…comprende?
i emotional today, can you tell..
anyway i best go and eat something
yes i comprede, i know more about you than the whole world know’s about you,
because you kept it on a spiritual plane
comprende ?
good emotion i pray you feel
pure sincere emotional honesty spiritual plane…BEing REAL
the higher divine true SELF of the subtle emotional honesty and intellect, of grace, of trueness of the real self, no masks, only love from now on…
it is what we yearn to always feel like…and yearn for of another…
i won’t be any other way from now on, and if i do, kick me upside the head…ok? promise?
bless you
Im a little emotional right now, i have to go and eat something im hungry,
its been a long time since i have spent time alone with mySelf and not been depressed or repressed by intoxication i’ve had a lovely day the weather was beautiful today sun was shinning it was warm and spring is always beautifull in melb..
If i ever stop crying today i’ll be fine but all is good it is good to connect with your own inner emotions, & understant them more importantly..
i am terribly happy at the same time..
but i am so alone
it frighten’s me to thing there is noone left on this place who are real .. is scare’s me to death …
your my last hope
dont let me down
It’s “nanu nanu” is it? I can’t even get that right! I never watched the show.
This thread is tooooooo looooooooooooooooooong
What’s up? Your friends let you down? Are you going to name names? Tell us what they’ve done, apart from their general “unwiseness” of course?
i have to go now
i’ll be back i always come back to a safe place
there is a pure sincere knowingness feeling of my true self which grips things tightly and does not want to let go…and the assurance of holding something tight tells me about my true self, where i sometimes ask, “what does my true self want?”
to be loved merely for just BEing my Self, without having to be a certain way for my best friends, and just BE me…
i sense we have that, yes?
feels true for me, deep within, and it scares me sometimes, like maybe i am have unrealistic expectations of the future…and yet, i have to just BE me, and do not yearn to be anything other than my self, where in truth, i like me, and i know others do too, and perhaps i need to stop fretting to much about whether or not any particular person likes/loves me or not, and just let them like/love me or not like/love me…i love me, and that is good, yes?
Let’s hear the goss!
Was it the spooky woman?
thanks Marco…i appreciate your every word which is wise for sake the divine true self…thank you.
just immaturity , not real to themselves
im just changing as a person gowing faster then the rest, no one can keep up with me i guess
no, it is not anything bad they are doing, in fact the opposite is true, where i sense the truth more so than before…and i am like…oh oh….nah….they couldn’t possibly be….
oh i can keep up with you, not to worry there…
no its wasn’t the spooky woman, its just me
im fine don’t stress..
I have to go, now i’ll chat soon..
Bye bye then.
respectful open dialog…thanks
Are your “friends” slagging me off?
I had this with my ex. Her “friends” turned her against me, and now she’s stuck with some boring fart.
shoose , i have to go … seriously i’ve enjoyed the chat but neeed to eat sleep and rest soon for work ..
you have a good day…
and do what i do look for love in everymoment in every tree and in every flower , take the time to listen to the bird’s sing and watch the kittens and the children play, for that is the joy of life is it not !
good love to you ALL
i love you All
excep the IDIOT;s
lol
ya, i love the smell of the fall leaves…takes me back a ways to my youth.
ya, nature is so relaxing for us, where even the sound of a gravel road under our feet, has an recall of youth, or at least it does me, country boy that i am.
So what have your friends been saying?
ya, friends of mine who don’t know you, which pisses me off even more!
hence…why i am still here defending you.
people can be such jerks!
i don’t listen to them at all…
they don’t even like me so fuck them!
no wait…i take that back…i don’t want to fuck them! lol
they are not conducive at all for me…a total negative environment soon to come to a closed door for them, where i will decide if i want to be around them or not ever again…
ya…i am toxic from my immediate environment, which is why i went off the other day like i did, frustration, that’s all, of trying to cope with too much negativity…you have no idea…it’s bad…
Which friends? What did they say? Can you be specific?
actually, it is really horrible for me…
was hoping to get moved by now, but delays for the moving van(a friend) has stalled my exiting sooner…
ah well…Thursday is the new day!
i think maybe i will spend the day/night at the new place tomorrow…i need the break from the toxic negativity which is almost constant around me…hard to believe i can stay so positive considering…i have learned just how solid i really am inside…intolerant of inappropriateness…healthy.
I bet it was a woman friend. They think they’re looking out for you, have your best interests at heart, but really they’re just bitter old crones who nobody loves so they don’t want anyone else to be in love. Trust me – I’ve been there with these women.
ex boyfriend i have lived with far too long! lol
i trust you…
and that is what i love about you the most.
you know how to be real with someone, and fearlessly i might add, so healthy for me.
i feel so stupid for being so fucking retarded the other day with Marco…who was being sincere and open with me…it’s a wonder he still talks to me, forgiving he is…and so wise.
hey…how was/is your day?
Ex-boyfriend slagging me off? Oops …
i thought alot about you all day today…all good feelings of course.
It’s a FANTASTIC day here so I’m going to be off out surfing.
boyfriend/girlfriend…same thing…his nasty alter ego has sharp claws and fire like a dragon lady…
surfing for what? ha
are you looking at porn again?
sheeshhh!
Surfing for fitness and fun.
oh, is that what they call it? lol
“i thought alot about you all day today…all good feelings of course.”
Oh, how sweet. I always think of you too.
It’s a lovely morning out there and I’ve really got to go and make the best of it.
So have a good day.
X
ya…i have sorta been reading between the lines for awhile now….
you too!
I am taking in the film here in TO, which is raising funds for her organization this week. For sure i want to feel connected with what her and i are about, where it will be a blessed day to feel what it is i will feel in each moment, just as most will.
the benefits are two fold, for sake of us in increasing our value of feelings, and for sake of those who cannot cope without us.
This world needs are real hard kick in the ass. I really despise the way the world ignores those in horrific conditions, all these self-serving ones everywhere i look, such emptiness about them, where they don’t see the sad condition of their souls like the way i see them…all thinking they are so right about what they are all about. Having conversations with them is like, “Yikes!”, are you not connected with how the world is, going on about nothing?
Everything we do in life, echoes thru eternity.
the sun is coming up…notice how calm, graceful and peaceful the sun comes up?
that’s what i connect with, and actually feeling move across the sky and slowly set peacefully again at the end of a day.
i connect with it, the moon too, delicately there in the sky, so incredible it all is, is it not?
more so when you feel love with another who loves you as much as you do them…ultimately, what i yearn for, what we all yearn for, of the only value in life, and is indeed of value when we have that with another at our side…
that is what i want…and that is what one day i shall have again…
i know i will…without doubt.
Marco…do you read minds, is that how you were really feeling, because i am bewildered to here say those words today, as though said them myself.
for me, it is environmental, which i have addressed and taking action, and i know myself well, i am at my very best when alone away from toxic environments for extended periods of time, although not being alone, getting out with the crowd is healthy, so long as we are cautious of our inner circle friends we select according to how we feel around them and they us…
M sounds like she has great healthy friends who sincerely love her…i am pleased to know that she does. She shines radiant and bright, and i want to always feel that way.
opppsss…
should of read;
i want her to always feel radiant and bright.
and of course, me two!
Nanu nanu to Madonna for her show tonight!
X
indeed, nano nano to the precious love souls she greets are may be struggling inwardly from the OUTwardly on their home front, where if even ONE precious soul is saved from spiritual death, every step, every breath, every heartbeat is in step with God, is it not?
Just one, is all i ask for, i my asking God for forgiveness over Troy.
i really did humble myself, in giving my life to Jesus and God in this regard…100% knowingness.
so yeah….what we do in life…really does echoe in eternity, yes?
we know
on we go
Everyone was impacted by Troy’s loss years ago, and without doubt, we all still are, his precious soul which revealed so much truth of the purity and sincerity of my own soul, of whom i am eternally greatful of, thanking God for Troy’s life, which is why i am standing here this day with you.
for sake of one…just one
we are of life and death, both physical and spiritual life and death….of God’s divine WILL, that of our WILLingness.
God knows us…100%
and who knows, maybe one day we will all gather together, of smiling faces, and colourful satin outfits, on a most beautiful of days, maybe horses too?
i love horses, my favorite creature of all.
without doubt…my spirit is always with you, 100%, all the way thru life, i know i will always be there, just as i always have been, of my warm thoughts and prayers of you, and of the ONE.
Jesus and God are with you, always.
i was thinking, some really wild stallions, freshly broken, big ones, which are nearly impossible to maintain, heavey breathes, extremely wild and jumpy, where you need professional riders to ride and control them.
they have a wonderful sensibility of the power of life, untamed, intimidated and intimidating they are indeed, rearing up in the air, the heavey heavey breathing like they do, huffing away like they do.
i had a stallion chase me in a field one time across 10,000 acres of land in Tennessee, a field i did not know a stallion was in with his mares. I had no saddle, just bareback, holding the horse main as we took off for dear life, this wild stallion wanting to kill us, kicking, rearing, biting…it was so intense! lol
so yeah! i definitely want horses one day, suits of beautiful colored armor, the flags, the chain mall head dresses, leather chaps, so intense, so so intense and beautiful to behold and feel the significance of their own homosexuality, something beautiful of them, which i love utterly and completely of them ALL.
it is so hard for some of them coming out of the closet, where some don’t survive, sadly, of high statistical data…of which Troy is ONE.
God bless Troy. thank you God, for Troy’s life of which i am eterally thankful for, forever loved and missed.
Let’s keep on…keep it together!
Andy can you believe this , I received a lecture at work because they said I was negative and too outspoken, I mean they are the most false and fear based people I have ever met in my entire life, even the work phone number is an evil number is 9666 6666, also today when I got to work there were hundred’s of dead fly’s in the foyer from the hot weekend weather, honestly it was something out of a poltergeist movie, then they offered me counseling if I needed it because I earlier tried to brush them off by saying it was personal, when they tried to delve into my life to suck me try because they feel uneasy around me, ( unable to discern or understand me because I don’t fit into the norms of the constricted mindset of an Idiot & Moron.
I have to be one of the strongest minded and sane person on the planet, see the ignorance and ignoramus of the morons I have to deal with trying to sap the life force out of my soul, chip away at me like they do, Vampires their all Vampires, I am a light in a bat cave ..
I am getting a new Job .. TODAY ( they miss me when I am gone, Idiot’s, why do I attract this, to make me stronger so I shine brighter in the darkness, damn Vampires, where’s my silver Bullet ?? HA ??
( I might write a song from this I’ll call it, “Bat Me up Vampire” )
It’s that you attract them
Be wisely descering of God’s wisdom which knows many the innocent souls of the earth who are born into households which teach learned behaviours.
BE forgiving of them ALL, compassionate of God’s wisdom, of YOUR wisdom, of God’s divine WILL that you BEcome the WILLINGness to embrace pure TRUTH wisdoms.
Like me, you are of the journey of life which teaches you these truth wisdoms i speak of.
BE of the knowingness that i am of God’s wisdom, chosen by God.
i know who i am
a revealer of truth, like that of the biblical book of revelations.
TRUTH(wisdom) does NOT fail.
it has always BEen we who failed to come to the cross and fully embrace the precious loving soul of Jesus like i do, fully and completely i embrace him, his wisdom, his love devoid of doubt i feel while in the halo of God’s wisdom where i dwell, eternally protected by the truth wisdoms which are not able to be challenged, of which no one is able to become victorious over for all eternity.
indeed, i am of the truth wisdoms of the no time constraint eternal realm, of eternal TRUTH that does not fail, not ever, CONSTANT like the sun which is always shining, pure TRUTH.
who are these motherfuckers anyway Marco?
let me have a go at them, for i am of God’s powerful wisdom which sees thru all layers to the conditon of their precious souls held captive by the bitter chains which bind their souls.
like you, i dwell among them here on earth, as one who comes into the darkness undetected, to break these bitter unwise chains which bind the many innocent souls i find there, able to set free the precious loving souls.
great and numerous are the many of the bitter unwise nashing of teeth, OUTside the gates of heaven Marco, are there not?
(andy rolls another spliff)
lol
i jest guys…i do not do drugs, nor alcohol.
alcohol blurs my rational thinking, where should i consume alcohol, my emotional intensity would likely see an irrational destruction of me, a wise adult child of God which i have BEcome.
God asked me to cast alcohol out of God’s house of love and peace where i dwell with God.
i don’t againt those who do, and may be able to handle it, where i know i cannot ever play with it again, because of what has happened in my life, of what increased my emotional intensity.
but please know, statistically, substance abuse does spiral downward into darker places of psychosis, points of no return for some, where death does lurk there, and indeed, death does come to many gripped by unwise spiritual death, these voids devoid of God’s descerning truth wisdoms, which protect the precious loving child of God from destruction and nescience eternally.
i too have dangerous spirits which lurk near me in my immediate physical life, which actually falsely prosecuted and put me jail, where i am out on bail as we speak, where they still which to prosecute me.
sadly, i may end up jailed during M’s concert here in TO, if i am not cautious in breaching my bail conditions.
like is said…it’s bad for me right now.
i may lose my right to leave the country to travel, which upsets me even more…
people can be such fucking jerk offs, yes?
why i have such a horrible time trusting others…betrayed so badly like they have of me.
loss of my job, which initially was of betrayal, turns out i am glad to be finally free, no desire to return to the aburdnesses you speak of, of many cirlces i too have found myself in, where indeed, someone betrays…fucking jackasses that they are, yes?
lol
i am proud of your strength in spirit Marco! So very proud of you.
you inspire me greatly, as we are of great awareness of these things i speak of, the condition of souls bound by chains of unwiseness, all learned behaviours of the teachings of the forefathers before us all, of what lurks for of all precious loving souls born into the kingdom of heaven here on earth, indeed, the voids devoid of God’s love, compassionate wisdom.
God summons all to the gates of heaven, where it is the wisdom of Jesus we pass thru, where Jesus knew it was him who became that of the child of God within us all, of the truth wisdoms which protect the peaceful by nature, precious loving child of God of us ALL.
bless you
*correction* ^
It’s >NOT< that you attract them
In truth, when you silently dwell in the halo of wisdom, they cannot see you, because of their blindness which cannot comprehend you.
but you can see(feel) them, yes?
(andy laughs, as he rolls yet another spliff)
lol
don’t mind me, it is just the joyfulness of my youthful self i used to be long ago which is become rejuvenated, because of my setting of healthy boundaries, like you, of no desire to be around the absurd ones who are indeed toxic for us.
i am compassionate for them…don’t get me wrong…but dwell among them for extended periods of time…i cannot, nor desire to.
i am on track with the kingdom of heaven, and i know, there is someone like me of the same mindset, their spirit set free like my own.
if i am struck down, then honor me by remembering, ok?
and do as i do, and have done for many years, fearlessly.
dragon lady has her claws tightly wrapped around me.
i love your sense of humor Marco!
indeed, we have to laugh at the absurdness, where laughter fearlessly sets our spirit free, yes?
montephython
i have a court therapist working closely with me, who is the one who is able to fully assist me at trial of the false prosecution i am yet snared by.
trial date will be sometime in late spring.
she loves me, and i her
she knows fully, i was railroaded by someone who is of insecure controlling behaviour.
call the new song…”The Dragon Lady”, so i can perhaps one day chuckle about this bullshit, ok? ha
raging false egos of insecure controlling learned behaviour, which have roots in childhood.
drag lady was badly neglected and abused as a child.
i am compassionate, am i not, in maintaining the friendship, for sake of drag lady not harming herself.
she was moderately suicidal when i met her.
still is…
fortunate for her, the court referred her to counseling, which she is attending faithfully.
thank God, because i am not qualified to save either one of us. lol
i am still nurturing of gentle light of friendship as we speak, but trust?…destroyed for a very long time.
(andy exits out of the therapists office ~ stage left, to go outside for a spliff)
lol
his spirit eternally set free to Just BE his SELF.
that was some of the best writting i have seen you write Marco!
you are loved by me forever more…always.
always
drag lady holds me hostage with threats of more jail time…embarassing for me to say the least to speak of such wretchedness of unloving spirit against me…one of many worse experiences of my journey of life.
she has calmed down recently, yet still theatens me daily…
i need to keep my job, in order after my kid…and so i co-operate long enough to safely exit…gracefully.
in order to look after Rodrigo, i need to keep my job.
ya, of God, in a world without God…obviously of my feelings daily, yes?
still cannot believe this dark passage i am yet in, and yet, daily it is there for me to feel.
truth wisdom(light) is what saves me, and indeed, i have written from the emotional honesty and intensity of it all, so not bad, the silver lining of every dark cloud, where darkness serves the enlightened one, by means of the truth of ignorance vs wisdom.
without doubt…the greatest prison in life….is the mind
we are no different from one another in life.
While our journey of life experience may be different, our emotions reveal the truth of this we are not different, where indeed, many have experienced the horrific painful feelings of the loss of our loved ones to unwiseness, have we not?
It is unwise indifferences of all ignorant teachings of the forefathers before us, which continues to grip the world in all it’s absurd useless unwise indifferences of the issues of mental, emotional, race, religion, wealth, status, sexuality, and political.
Where are your leaders of wiseness which cast out our foolish indifferences? Oh yeah, they are having lunch with the bankers who all exited the temple, taking everything you worked for with them, these con artists and masters of trickery.
They cannot ever become masters over your soul, of which the divine truth wisdoms protect your precious loving child of God within from all unwiseness for all eternity, TRUTH which does not fail, nor does God wish apon any to fail, even those who sit apon the many thrones of nescience which rule the world.
We are not different from one another, where all are of the capability to enter fully into the kingdom of heaven understanding and perspective.
Many there will be who are last to enter, where it is the Power of the Love of the All which ushers in the kingdom of heaven on earth.
Let it be known that God sees with clarity, all wretched hateful unwiseness of all souls of the earth, at all times…God is compassionately watching and dwells amoung us. Always did, where it has always been the useless unwise indifferences which has been cause of all absurd seperation, such as that of the wretchedness of war….not of God, rather of those who claim to know God and do not, who do not truly desire God’s divine wisdom meant for the loving child of God within us ALL.
blessings to all
bless you
Look at you…people you have turned this into public gay toilet..and why,because you want to be seen on Madonnas blog.You are just dyinng for a minunte of fame,forgeting its not about you..its about the children and the good people..”you shell know them by theyr froots”i don’t think you can give any froots and if you do they would be no good,just like you”.
Speking of ignorance..you should know what God would do to all gay man like you..i don’t want to be the one to remind you,better start reading and finding out what the future holds for you.Future -God..He is the future and the past and everything…One day you would know that Madonna was never who you thought she is and youllbe scared ass hell.
boring R.s.. change the subject
well…you may to check your ignorance at the gate into heaven Shwartz, for truly you are clueless about Madonna, one of the most loving members of the GLBT worldwide community, one her dearest friends in life, an gay artist, Keith Haring, which is part of the Sticky and Sweet Tour.
Keith Haring was born in Reading, Pennsylvania, and studied graphic art in Pittsburg. After coming out, he moved to New York where he became influenced by graffiti art. Keith Haring born 5 May 1958 (d. 1990)
You can add yourself to her black list any time you want Shwartz, which you just did, and indeed, like i said, many there will be who are last to enter the kingdom of heaven understanding, here on earth.
You are already forgiven by Jesus and God who are yet compassionate for your useless absurd unwise indifference, but if you physical or verbally attack one of my loving brothers or sisters in public, wild horses will come and drag you to prison, like the darkness of prison of the mind you yet dwell in, restrained, lest you ever bring harm to any of us. You have been fairly warned by one who is of God, who stands vigilantly at the gate of heaven where only wisdom, love and compassion for all souls yet snared by unwise, unloving apathetic teachings of the forefathers, yes, the unwise forefathers who created and edit the bible which is composed of the writings of those who recorded the words of Jesus, writings they stole from his followers, after they executed them, indeed, the very ones Jesus spoke of who do not truly desire to know God, yet claim they did and do, the same unwise teachings handed down today, of the many who do not truly desire to know God, the many merchants of God in the world today.
Think what you want of me…but truly i tell you, you do not fully know ‘me’.
hey, that was a nice uppercut to the jaw!
we are the champions, yes we are the champions…of the world.
(andy rolls another spliff)
what?
oh come on guys…i would rather you smoke weed than drink alcohol, if you are of the desire to self-medicate like many of you do.
since when did weed ever cause someone to be unhappy?
lethargically dysfunctional maybe, but seldom ever unhappy or violent.
oh, one more thing Swartz…the ones who created the bible, from the stolen teachings of Jesus, did not get all the teachings of Jesus Swartz, teachings which are yet surfacing from having been burried in the desert in clay jars, carbondated, and conclusively pointing to their origin…words of Jesus while he walked the earth.
but hey, what do i know…i am just a hermetical monk who has studied the words for twenty years now.
sorry…correct…a bisexual hermetical monk…i am
a loving wise compassion child of God, loving wise compassionate brother of Jesus.
oh, and another thing swartz, i am not about fame or fortune, where indeed, i do not even reveal myself during pride events, where it is not me they look apon, rather it is a reflection of their own loving SELF, of my intention in doing so, and yes, i will continue just as i have been for decades, as one who is about the self of another, for sake of them, not at all about fame, so stick that one in your pipe and smoke it.
Can’t decide if i want to ride a horse as one of the androgynous twins, a motorbike or walk as one of the masked clowns….hmmm….i’ll get back to you on that ONE.
fucking morons father…forgive them, for they know not what they do to their own precious loving child within, lead to and fro, this way and that way, ever stumbling as they make their way into heaven.
(andy rolls another one)
Sarah Palin condoms with her picture on it, to promote safe sex?
you didn’t…did you?
tell me that is a rumor…
oh, you are too much M.
There is truth or dare, but then there is the Sarah Palin condoms…unbelievable..you didn’t?
omg…she did!
Mama?
Hope you’re doing well.
Immortal and I Love You.
Sorry for not seeing all those illusions right a way.
Thanks for helping to Light the path.
Xox
Gay students who are harassed have higher dropout rates than their heterosexual classmates, a national study found.
Public school officials in Chicago, Illinois, are recommending approval of a “gay-friendly” high school because harassment and violence are causing gay students to skip class and drop out at alarming rates.
Way to Chicago! OUTstanding!
Gay and lesbian students are three times more likely to miss school because they feel unsafe, according to a 2003 Chicago Public School District survey. And a study released Wednesday by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network showed similar trends across the country.
The national study, which the group says is the most comprehensive report ever on the experiences of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students nationwide, found that 86.2 percent of those students reported being verbally harassed, 44.1 percent physically harassed and 22.1 percent physically assaulted at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation.
This harassment, the study concludes, has affected students’ ability to achieve success in school, causing their grade-point level to be, on average, half a point lower than that of heterosexual students nationwide.
Dropout levels are higher among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students because of more frequent truancy, the study found. Almost 32 percent of those students missed a class because of feeling unsafe, compared with only 5.5 percent of heterosexual students nationwide, the study said.
Truancy and lower grades aren’t the only repercussions of anti-gay sentiments in schools, said Kevin Jennings, the founder and executive director of GLSEN. He cited the killing of Lawrence King, a 15-year-old student shot by a classmate in Oxnard, California, in February after King asked to be his valentine.
Jennings said the repercussions of harassment alone underscore the need for Pride Campus.
“If we keep doing nothing, we are going to keep getting these horrifying levels of harassment, greater rates of skipping, not going to college and more tragic violence like the murder of Lawrence King,” he said. “Those are our choices. We can continue to do nothing, and we know the results, or we can save young people’s lives and offer them an education and a future.”
A similar school in New York, the Harvey Milk High School in the East Village, was created because of similar fears.
The school, which had been around since 1985, serving gay and lesbian students, expanded to a “gay-themed” school for 100 students in 2003. The Pride Campus is expected to serve 600 students, school officials said.
Harvey Milk High School, like the Pride Campus, is open to all students regardless of sexual orientation. But unlike the proposed school in Chicago, Harvey Milk requires its attendees to be at risk of dropping out because of harassment.
Harvey Milk boasts a graduation rate of 95 percent of its students — all of whom were at risk of or had dropped out — well above the city average of 52 percent.
When the school opened its doors, protesters, led by anti-gay Kansas minister Fred Phelps, screamed at supporters gathered outside to repent for their “sodomite behavior.”
Edelman said that while some concerns have been raised about Pride Campus at community meetings, officials have not heard any large-scale opposition.
One Chicago resident said at a meeting that he could not support the school because of his religious beliefs, Edelman said. Others told local media they didn’t support the use of public money to create the school. Some thought that if gay students went to the Pride Campus, students in other schools would not learn to accept the gay community. Instead, they suggested, the focus should be working toward acceptance in all schools.
“Absolutely, we should work for [acceptance] across the board,” said Jennings, the GLSEN executive director. “But it’s not going to change overnight, and in the meantime, these kids aren’t going to graduate.”
Jennings said that GLSEN research shows acceptance among peers is helped by having a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender support group at school.
The most important factor, according to the GLSEN study, is the existence of a state law that protects students from harassment based on their sexual orientation.
Thirty-nine states, including Illinois and New York, do not have laws offering that specific protection, Jennings said citing the GLSEN study. Some have laws, but they don’t specify on what basis the protections apply, which Jennings said was essentially as effective as having no law at all. California, Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, Vermont, Washington and Wisconsin are the only states with specific sexual orientation protections for students.
The Chicago School Board will vote October 22 to approve the School for Social Justice Pride Campus in addition to 17 other proposed schools.
As far as Jennings is concerned, the school board’s choice is an easy one.
“The choice they are making is not should we have this kind of school,” he said. “The question is ‘Are we going to do anything we can to get these kids an education?’ And there’s only one right answer — yes.”
You got that Swartz?
ok…God blesses ALL
Jesus Loves ALL. God Loves ALL. We Love ALL.
God Blesses ALL
you got that Swartz?
ok then….God Blesses ALL children of God with loving compassionate wisdom which protects the loving child of God within us ALL.
blessings to ALL
bless you
That concert last night at MSG was disappointing at best. To come on 2 hours late with no opening act so your fans (who all paid upwards of $100 a ticket) had to just twiddle their thumbs for two hours is unbelievably rude, and then to not even bother to THANK us for being there even once? And then after throwing in an Annie Lennox song (how random was that?), an interlude from some other band in the middle of your show, and all that waiting, you don’t even give us an encore? I get that you’re Madonna and you can make us wait because, well, we will, but if you continue to treat your fans this way, there won’t be any left.
two hours late ! ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=Jz2xoQKrS2Q
we didn t come for buttering sandwiches…
What is it with Madonna and Sarah Palin?
I’m just not mentioning the subject ….
British government basically bought-up several banks today. Some greedy top bankers lost their jobs! You’d be happy.
We’re hoping that from now on the banks will be run to provide a decent service for the British people, not just trying to devise newer sneaky ways to part them from their money.
Is anybody here?
there is construtive criticism…and then there is Emma…
oh wow! you played an Annie Lennox song? Excellent.
BE happy Madonna yet leads the world as the world’s # 1 most influential artist in history, more famous than Jesus Christ, leading us all in the right direction, opening our hearts to feel the truth of many issues of our own pure hearts, able for us to see(feel) with clarity these issues of the heart which are not addressed, not attended to, not brought forth from the storehouse of the abundance of our heart, of God’s divine will that we BEcome the WILLINGNESS to embrace what Madonna continues to bring forth, the light radiant and bright which shines into every dark corner of our hearts, so as to bring us into the light which reveals the purity and sincerity of our own divine child of God within us ALL.
Truly, many of you will look forward to videos of Madonna’s concerts long after having seen her in person like some of the fortunate ones of you have(personally, i have not ever seen Madonna ~ if you can believe that), and yet i know her heart like my own.
Please, save your trival illnesses of the heart of hypocrisy for your friends who love to chit chat like you do, for who has time to be bothered by such trivalness, when time wasted could be spent in loving positive ways, such as helping a starving child. Perhaps next time you can take your $100 and send it to those in the field helping these children of God? None the less, inspite of your trivalness to see why M continues to entertain you, your attendance has helped a child of God in need.
thank you
hello
Excellent…nationaling the banks = stability
You’re happy with the bank nationalisation are you? I’m so pleased!
As long as we’re getting something for our money, and not just letting the banks off the hook by giving them more gambling money.
Banks have had a good humbling, apparently.
America’s still screwed, mind.
I’m debugging a program while I’m talking to you, and I can’t figure out why it works because I reckon it shouldn’t work.
It’s totally useless to have something working when it shouldn’t work.
banks should be run by the government, and indeed, the government does have the right to exercise restraint with banks, at the local level. There will always be the world banks which can operate anyway they want for the jet set crowd, but at least if the local level is kept in check, we won’t see this kind of instability again, where it is critical that stability be embraced, as more and more investors come on line worldwide, able to toss the world economy around like it does.
there is nothing more valuable than stability of the world economy, with respect for the mental emotional well being of the millions of people affect/effected.
Indeed, the needs of the many far outweigh the need/wants of the zealots, and without doubt, it is obviously time the issue be addressed, as once again, this instability will be seen on the economic horizon, only of far greater devastation that what we are now in, where it is the greater number of worldwide investors who do play havoc with the economy, now proven beyond reasonable doubt.
The Supreme Courts of the land have the task of enforcing the law of the land which protects it’s people from the mental emotional crisis that millions now face worldwide from job loss, which is yet to come.
Although we have seen the bottom of this, which is statistically on par with previous bottoms seen in the past, the fall out is yet to come…
~
I’m debugging a program while I’m talking to you, and I can’t figure out why it works because I reckon it shouldn’t work.
It’s totally useless to have something working when it shouldn’t work.
~
huh?
too much caffiene today? ha
have i told you how much i love you today?
i love you today!
i love you yesterday!
i still love you tomorrow!
Well, I wonder if they’re going to do anything about these hedge funds and derivatives using leverage. Borrowing money just to make money. So you get rich people just taking money out of the system. How does that do anything to help the economy?
ya i thought about that.
they do indeed bleed money’s from the slush play money out there that could be better placed in useful ways.
there will always be gambling, just as there always has been in history…one of the many voids devoid of God.
That”s very sweet.
Don’t overdo it, OK?
Look, I’ve never met you.
But I’ve known you for a looooong time.
And right now I ain’t got no one else in my life – don’t mean that in a nasty way. I’d just be ready to meet someone. It’s really awkward and weird to say you love someone if you haven’t even met them and I’m not sure that’s totally valid but in a roundabout way this is me saying I love you too OK. In the nicest possible way.
I’m not even sure if we should say that. Don’t ask me to say it on the internet again!
in truth though, those in play these silly childish games, are indeed silly children of God who praise boastfulness of wealth(not all), are they not?
and do they know the kingdom of heaven? Nope.
it’s just the silly unwisenesses of unwise children of God, where we are compassionate for them who do not see the empty vessels of gold they hold up high, empty of love, voids, until they lower the empty vessels and fill them with tears of compassion which embraces the love of the own precious loving child of God within, which feels for the precious loving children of God in need of their compassion that is able to save them(both).
nano nano
Oh, it’s the strange way ASP handles arrays (I’m still debugging my program). It says the top element is 22, which means there are 23 elements in the array. Weird. Not at all how C does it. There you go. Problem solved.
oooo…that sounds like something Jesus would say, yes?
~ truth
ah…C++ ?
oh come on, it is worth at least a B+
Nano nano indeed. I never saw that show. I just saw a clip on YouTube and it looked so dated.
can i rewrite it and hand it in later?
(andy…you’re a fucking nut case, you know that?) lol
yeah…dated…but lot’s of us still out their who feel alignated.
alienated?
Social alienation; the individual subject’s estrangement from its community, society, or world
fortunately for me, those who alienate me, don’t trouble in a hurtful way anymore, rather in a compassionate way perspective, where in truth, alienating me, alienates the me in th>em<, going the wrong direction.
oh hey…that one is original, yes?
C++ is horrible. Really complicated and horrible. Everything in computing is getting more and more complicated every year now. Just complication for no good reason.
New features on websites. New website languages. I just wonder if we’re going to hit the limit of what we can get our heads round at some point.
I don’t think the average man in the street could create a proper website from scratch now. Too many complicated languages to learn. He’d have to create a blog (like this!) using someone else’s code.
You must have seen it yourself. How computers have got so much more complicated over the last 15 years.
There has to be an upper-bound on this complication soon.
i figured out what Jesus figured out…he knew he became the evolved wise pure of heart me of the me in everyone, where he stepped thru a point of his study which engulfed him in coming into full knowingness of this, which one can imagine to be a somewhat significant door, yes?
it takes time for one to understand the truth of this, as all of his words speak to the me within us all, where most are afraid to embrace the pure truth wisdoms which protect them, because of the fearful dynamics of the unwise world all around them.
love devoid of doubt is something tangible and real, that does leave one who comes into full knowingness of how it feels.
(Notice how I panicked when you mentioned the “L” word and I’m making sure it’s a discussion about computing from here on in)
This is why Apple are doing so well, because they are at least trying to fight the battle against over-complication for the user.
You’re not interested, are you? You want to talk about love!
we have that, and are yet growing in that, and yet there is the fear between us which is of the unwiseness of the fearful world, although it may be more of me, as one who is yet insecure, growing in security, and less you, as i suspect your wisdom which is more than my own, albeit, i too have my area of study which you too find useful, yes?
You understand people. I’m …. not really a people person.
You’ve got that “emotional intelligence” thing in bounds. You’d probably have the highest score ever recorded! You know how to work people and get what you want better than anyone in the all-time history of the world ever.
i am always interested in everything you have to say, and i am waiting to openly discuss anything you want to talk about, as a true and faithful friend of likemindedness…surely you know me as someone of likemindedness with regards the world?
But I sense I have an inner security that you lack.
I’m going to have to watch what I say.
Let me say this ok?
If what ever makes you happy…know without doubt…i want you to BE happy, as someone who genuinely loves you as a loving brother of God for you.
Yes, I know you you as “someone of likemindedness with regards the world”. I think that’s the best thing we have going for us. I think that is a MAJOR thing we have in common. But I also think we have a lot of other things in common.
I’ll take ya dancin’!
i think my inner security comes from uncertainty of the future between you and i, which i want to openly discuss with you, where i am not sure where you are in your thinking of me.
Can you see into my room, or am I just being paranoid? I’ve never asked before.
Oh, you just want me to say “I love you” again!
That’s emotional blackmail! Go away!
i love dancing, more than most any other activity in life…the music, the trance of love between lovers…
just don’t tease me about it though, as i am sensitive to real and imagined, where i yearn for real with someone, praying that someone is you at this point, equally understanding and respectful of your decisions either way….always.
Can you answer my question: are you now, or have you ever, been able to see into my room?
huh?
i don’t follow you sometimes…
yes
trust me…you don’t want to see my room…it’s a mess! lol
and…
Oh! I can’t say I’m totally surprised if I’m honest.
etc…etc…
I’m just going to wipe what you just said from my mind or else I’d go crazy.
Just don’t do it for much longer, OK?
ya…i know…
everyone thinks about it….at some point…so?
I’m beyond anger. Nothing makes me angry now. I have other things to concern me. Anger is beneath me. Life is too short. I look to the future.
it’s a primal study i am researching…that’s all.
Right, it’s 10.30. Time for bed.
primaly goes back thousands of years of the human being, of which is of great interest to me as a monk who’s subject is the human being.
you lead…i’ll follow…as a friend who will alway love you, no matter what you ever do or say, ok?
think of me as a high school student in the same class, ok?
but i do want to say this…if one day you ask me nicely to go out dancing with you, skin to skin…my answer is YES!
If there’s any way you could stop doing that, I would very much appreciate it. Seriously.
OK, time for bed,
X.
Oh, do what you want, as long as it’s not for long.
Deal?
as a bisexual, i am mostly looking for someone, male, female, who is of genuine emotional honesty within themselves as regards to sincerely loving me in the same graceful way i do them…that is i am, and that is what works for me, male or female….and i won’t settle for less.
you can be happy in knowing, andy will be happy either way.
i cannot ask you any further…you know that.
out of respect…
i have tread far enough, in my own mind, and my prayers are for everyone…
please know my purity of heart which is sincere for all who are concerned, as i cannot be treading like i do, other than to put those on notice, that i stand next to you as someone who genuinely loves you with all that i am.
i will follow from here on…ok?
I’m off to bed.
X
as long as what is not too long?
lol
oooo…that should spin some heads
lol
something is troubling me deeply…
and i know you what it is…
i’ll get thru it…it is causing me great anxiety though…
God knows i’ll get thru it.
where’s Marco?
he is good at prodding me in overcoming my fears.
Marco?
damn…just when i need him the most…
i don’t know how to deal with it…and it is crippling me emotionally.
i’ll be in my sanctuary, if anyone wishes to speak with me, with God, with Jesus…
im not enough anyway…so don’t worry about it.
i have a therapy session tomorrow and will deal with it from the correct perspective of respect and understaning….
damn…my stuttering is bad today….
*correction*
im not >healthy< enough anyway…
i’ve lost my footing and i have fallen along ways from stability i once had in my mind, and yet, a new stability is forming which is much greater than the previous one, of a more true restoration of self…in fact, it is the most true restoration of my self, which is of the pure connection of the confident one i was way back in the 70′s-80s…who i always was.
i love what i am experiencing deep within, where no one is ever able to cause me heart ache in their approach with me ever again.
i am just going to let people do what ever they want, and if they don’t show geniune interest in me, i am going to pass them by, for sake of the one who is out there for me. God knows there is someone for andy.
like you said…do you what you want…i am happy either way…
or at least will be one day…
i think i just said goodbye…
or see you later some day….
i just don’t feel the respect i feel i am deserving of, and yet awkward in perhaps being unrealistic in expectations, where it is wrong to do so, considering the emotional well being of another…
i keep looking for an email…something real…
i am of spirituality in the phsyical realm too ya know….
and my life is yet of this earth…although the way some are with me…you wouldn’t know it…
and that hurts…
i don’t want to hurt anymore…ok?
i think i will go for another walk, and see who God presents to me…no one yet that i recognize as a healthy soul mate like your self.
there are alot of healthy people out there though, and i know, around the next bend in life, they will greet me, and i them, in deep pure knowingess of each other forever more…
can you blame me for wanting real?
like Matt said, a real friend…or was that the message, andy, go live your gay life?
sure would appreciate clarity on this…
i have been struggling with this question along time…emotional honesty within, and i don’t the emotional honesty of my own self…and yet i know…
you just know…
no ever take away from me, that i did serve the best interests of everyone…not ever…in God’s eyes…not ever.
~ truth
my wings are of God’s 100% pure strength…so worry not of me, for Jesus and God are with me…forever more.
blessings to ALL
bless you
i will have prevailed and will prevail in the face of ALL forever more without fail…without doubt, where it is the doubtfulness yet in the world which is not of ‘me’, of what i prevail against, the unwise doubt which grips the many precious souls of the world, breaking the absurd chains which bind them in dark places, of all these unwise wretched hatefulness of my loving brothers and sisters.
indeed, i am like the man Jesus speaks of, who puts his fist thru a wall…
with or without anyone…Jesus and God are always with me.
hmmm…just like you to ignore me like this…
no email…
ok fine…take care…
blessings to all
bless you
there is someone out there who needs me…comprende?
it is only fair to them that i move on…
time is always of the importance on matters of the soul of another…
something everyone needs to stay tuned into, of all unconditional lovers of ALL, the many in the One and One in the many united as One, of the WorldWide GLBT community…
where it is the two lover who unite as ONE, who’s love between is radiant and bright for all to feel, so bright so as to light up the whole world, and indeed, they do light up the whole world, of affect/effect, direct/indirect, over the course of their radiant and bright loving life, apon which all feel their presence, everywhere they go, of each moment, of each blessed day they walk the earth.
It is of God’s divine will, that i unite with my soul mate, because of the unfailing truth, of what ushers in the kingdom of heaven on earth, the radiant and bright loving light of the all the enlightened ones who unite as ONE.
being alone just sucks.
nope…not me…i will not be alone…
oh, andy is being so impatient.
no, andy is not being impatient…he is just feeling it any more…
lackluster at best…
psycological stuckness? maybe.
i am unsticking if that’s ok with you.
a clean graceful break….until another day, perhaps in another life time of the future world we will meet again and unite, easily recognizing of one another as soul mates perhaps after the teachings of future generations take root apon of my life as one who yet walks the earth, just as Jesus did, sadly as though he did not have a loving love, yet was loved, and is loved by me forever more, till my last breath, my true and faithful friend he has been for me.
my destiny is of God’s divine will that i live out my life with someone as loving of me as i am of them, and yes, God has revealed this to me with purity and clarity of the sincerity level i have been with all of you while here all this time, indeed of those who walk among the high places and paths.
i have spoken, and will continue to speak on issue i reflect apon and study, God willing, but being alone just sucks, and i don’t feel respected at all as one who yet walks the earth…painful for me.
~ God says to speak the truth…i have spoken the truth of how i am made to feel…like i don’t exist somedays.
oh well…i have been ignored by countless many, so worry not…i have a thick skin, and thick skull according to others. lol
alright then…
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL We love ALL
God blesses ALL
blessings to ALL
bless you
you’ll be alright, just keep in touch with your friends, seek their sincere advise .. and the company of their humor, don’t let life cripple you too much, joy is always just around the corner, past the cross road
truly, today is the hardest day of my life…
do you know how upset i am?
crushed beyond my ability to absorb it this day.
it is like the full impact of the day i was born, and the day i will die greeting me today.
the only words i know that accurately describe it.
obviously someone loves you, and you them, and i am happy for the happiness between the two of you.
God blesses all
bless you in every step, every breath and every heartbeat with another forever more, till your last day, where only love is good enough for both of you.
why did God reveal to me my sincerity of love for you is also true of you?
did you know God revealed to me?
God greeted me with pure clarity of my feelings for you, and acknowledge to me, that indeed you too were of the same level of sincerity.
so why this?
did we not feel the tranquility of the moon?
so why? tell me the truth.
i know you are not telling me the truth.
i know ok
and God knows i know the truth, and revealed it to me…to us both, did he not?
i know you know what i speak of.
you think you are going to be happy, but inside you know won’t, so why lie to me, of what you know to be true of our feelings for one another?
i will respect your wishes, and leave you in peace, if that is what you truly want, as i want only happiness for you, if indeed you are happy.
we both know that happiness is the only thing of any value in life, so you have my blessing if that is true, and i will go.
ah fuck…forgive me
God says to speak the truth, and i know you are of pure truth within
under a full moon, i went out tonight, and someone i feel in love was there who i had not seen in over year, who had walked away from me over a year ago…and he was there tonight, and i know God meant it to be so, as i looked apon the moon asking God what is the meaning of this, presenting me with him before me, knowing how torn between love him and loving you i have going thru all this time.
again, he walked away from me, yet i know God put him there for a reason, and i am struggling to understand why.
God knows i know Rob is struggling with homophobia, and he knew i was in love with him, even though he has a girlfriend, and now an eight month old child, but why did he come back? He denied his feelings for me, yet again, of me knowing what he is struggling with inside, afraid, he would not express himself, of my knowngness of his love for me he openly expressed with me before.
God put me before him for his sake?
i know my every step is for sake of another each day, and that is how i greet each day, each soul, with purity of love for their soul, like i do my own.
I know the importance of my life with each soul i greet is always of God.
how is it that i knew tonight, someone was needing me, and indeed Rob was there after leaving the city for over year? He denied it, but i knew he was looking for me.
how did i know before going out tonight?
God
you wanna some Reiki onna ya head
why have you not had a poem competition for free tickets to your concert for one plus airfare to your show for your ausie fans since it did’nt make it to Aust HEY ?
i’d never forgive mySELF (that includes Andy and M & Me, were all the same SELF) if i did’nt get to see it..
i mean i’d win i’ve got a safe full of poem’s i can submit hundreds but i only need one to win..
Comprende !!
ya, i know
just ONE
ya, i cannot afford to go either Marco, as i too am of limited budget, and Rodrigo is my priority in life.
besides, i would want to attend with someone, and not attend alone Marco…and right now, i just don’t have that special someone that would make it all worth while…my life that is.
and yet…i love them ALL
I love them one at a time, even if it is just for a moment, where they too feel…as i do, of each and every moment…ONE by ONE…each and every time.
And get this…they always come back! lol
So get back with ‘me’ damn it! ha
I don’t play around when it comes to matters of the soul.
i need to know…and yet…i know
we know
on we go
it is not about faith…it is about 100% knowingness, just as i know Rob is hurting inside, and badly, looking he had not sleep in days…
he is his own worse enemy right now, and i know i hurt him before, stupidly, realizing he was in love with me, and now he is hurting, and dening from himself to trust me again…as he walked away, too afraid, to messed up, the girlfriend, the child…i can only image what he is going thru, if i had a child…i let him go, just as i have let Mike go all these years…not really knowing if he would be happier with me, yet knowing.
i know…but i cannot bring myself to take him away from his child…
we all make decisions in life, that alter our lives forever…decide wisely, and knowingly, by means of YOUR Feelings…which is the kingdom of heaven.
when you know…you just know…so let it grow, protect it using wisdom, nurture it with love…
Only love is good enough from now on…forever more
blessings to all
bless you
i know my feelings…and i know it is important to know what ‘my’ feelings are of ‘me’, where in doing so, i know how important it is to just let others come into knowingness of their own feelings, of the ‘me’ of them…
in time, they do, and like Rob, they come back, how ever difficult it is for them, where i have been there for years for so many of them, where they have counted on me always being there, and indeed, i have always been there, a loving brother, true and faithful till the end, loving of many, how ever painful to let them go, knowing i need them too…in time, they always come back, if not with me, someone like ‘me’…
just ONE, who loves us as much as we do them…is all i know i am to each and every ONE.
but if i don’t get laid soon…i am going to kill myself! lol
fuck, it’s way toooooo loooooonnnnnnng! ha
what?
i always try to end on a happy note….
but seriously though, if i were to ask Mike what i already know, knowing his answer already, it would make me happy, and it would make Mike too, yes?
i wanted to call out to Rob last night, yelling at him in the street, under the full moon, everyone there, and simply scream at him, “I fucking love you Rob, and if you walk away from me again, it will be the biggest mistake of your life!!!”
but i hesitated, because of his loving child, which needs him and he needs too, more important than me…
even if i know, he would be equally, if not be more happier with me…
i let him go home to his family that loves him, and i know he will be loved…
and besides…there is always someone for me around the next bend…
still…it was one of hardest nights of my life…knowing, and yet not brought to life…at least not in my life today.
there is always tomorrow everyday, where it is always tomorrow it seems for me…
one day…i will be with ONE
it is always about the ONE within us ALL
while everyone can leave ‘me’…i cannot leave ‘me’, and i love ‘me’, the same ‘me’ in all of thee…ONE
Wha’choo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?
http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=5tT7ivum_Hc
oh, i met a most beautiful precious loving soul a year and a half ago, and fell in love with him, and he with me…but he ran away back to his home town, disappeared, no phone call, nothing, where i looked for him for months…
last night, i felt his presence again, and sure enough, in the tranquility of the full moon, i went out and he was there…where my heart jumped out of my body and into his lap once again…
he does not trust me any more, and has a family now…
i am happy for him…i guess….
lol
i just let people figure out their own feelings, and if they have feelings for me…without doubt…they usually let you know eventually.
i had one guy come back to me after two fucking years of not calling me, disappeared like Rob did, and then just walked up to me telling me all his feelings and thoughts of me over the years he was gone…i smiled of course, but regretfully, i did not follow his desire to have sex with me…damn….i hate it when i do that, because i really did want to have sex with him the entire time i knew him…himself just coming out of the closet…it think his name was James….who was in my life for a year or so…way back when…
anyway…
talking ’bout sex….let’s talk about sex!
no…let’s not talk about sex….
seems everywhere you look, someone is doing the whole shallow sex thing with their bodies, which feels shallow to me, in all their raunchiness, and, “oh, i have such a hot body.”
no…you have a beautiful tender loving body that loves the tender caresses and kissing.
what am i laughing about…it is not a laughing matter at all.
at least i am not in denial of my love for him.
he is the one in denial, and sure enough, however long it takes, the usually come back around years later, expressing everything, all their moments of thinking about you…
that’s all i want…someone that sincerely knows their pure sincere feelings for me without doubt, male, female…does not matter to me…it is the sincerity issue which is most significant for happiness.
admittedly, i used drive like that…worse actually.
sliding corners, tires breaking loose, once you know the road, you know what the maximum speed is for the corner…nearly bought it a few times, trees, cars, buildings…scraped a few of them…
back when is was really really irresponsible and….well….just plain fucking stupid!
what if a child walked out into the street?
Life happens and changes people forever, when people are irresponsible like that.
take you fucking race cars to the track morons, and stop risking the lives of others like you do.
i love to race, but only a track.
they say James Dean was cut off at the intersection where he died…and what with driving a porshe, we know he was speeding, and what with his homophobic issues, he may have been drinking too…
unwiseness where death does indeed lurk…
another beautiful warm sunshine day
Yes, I thought that driver was a moron too. It wasn’t romantic – he was just a twat. Yeah, imagine if a child walked out.
I’m having a night off. I’m tired.
Night night,
X
ya, me too…i have a two hour session later this evening, get myself grounded and centered again…
i was so emotional last night…don’t recall ever feeling the level of emotional intensity like i did, so overwhelming, and yet, it really brought home to me, the feeling of one passing thru their own life, of our one chances at love with another, that don’t always come true, where people’s words with you reveal sincerity, or the no sincerity, and so yeah, i am sensitive to what people say…overly…
It was like, this is my life passing by each day, where each moment that goes by fluctuates between certainty and uncertainty, and yet, always of certainty that i am one who is loving, but not yet a soul mate lovers embrace which i yearn for with all that i am.
it came crashing in on me, where at one point i felt this moment where…oh no, tell me anything but that.
i came away feeling my own level of sensitivity, and realized, my soul mate too is of this level of sensitivity, and to stop playing around, stop wondering, stand still, and realize how much i yearn for my soulmate….and don’t ever be of useless uncertainty with them ever again…
as you say…emotional blackmail…
i am not of emotional blackmail of the personality disorder, where maybe at times i appear that way, no, not at all.
i am going to let people think thru their own feelings from now on, and just be me, the one loves to have fun, light hearted, as we cannot make anyone love us…they either do, or they don’t, and no one wants ones who don’t or pretend at it like they do…nope…100% sincerity or forget it, works for me, works for my soul mate lover forever friend.
the thing with me is i know when i love someone, of how i hang on their every word, and the moments when you realize they love you too, of how incredible that feels, of what keeps you there before them, and of those we don’t really love in life, of so many we pass by and they us…
knowingness of the soulmate lover self, is what reveals to us who our soulmate love is…of what connects them…the sincerity.
how many people don’t conduct themselves sincerely?
their own worse enemies, of haphazard approach with themselves, of the same approach with another, and ironically, they end up with someone equally(familiarity dynamic) wrong for them, do they not? lol
ya, time froze for me yesterday in a profound way, where i was feeling every foot step…of the exceeding grace of my child within.
it’s actually a good feeling…pure.
Madonna do you have to bash Sarah Palin so much what is your deal with her. It is quite annoying just leave her alone and talk about yourself . You don’t need to put others down. That is going to come back and bite you.
Only love is good enough for everyone from now on, forever more.
blessings to all
bless you
tightly clasp your hands together, and ask your SELF, “Does andy feel the same love i feel within?”
duh!
morons father…i am surrounded by morons! forgive them. lol
(andy spins around in exceeding joyfulness, like he always does, wondering to himself why so many don’t get him…well…actually, he knows fully why they don’t get with him, does he not? They must love ‘me’) ha
oh do what you want…i am easy to find, if anyone is looking for ‘me’.
(two archangels with very large wings, riding horses come forth, exclaiming in great joy)
“BEhold the Kingdom of Heaven is all around YOU!!!!
bless you
check mate
i win
lol
no wait…we ALL win!
ok…time to delve into the book of unwiseness, revealing the truth of everything. This may take a few months, so bare with me….as i explore ALL the wretched unloving unwisnesses which are not of God, not of love, not of compassion, not of wisdom, nor should ever be found of us forever more.
bless you
(andy walks of stage with Freddie Mercury, Annie Lennox, Madonna and David Bowie singing WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!!!!!)
lol
blessings to ALL
bless you
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL
bless you
i yearn to only to feel love all the time…we all do, do we not?
bless you
Yes Andy Check Mate you win, we all win, ohh shit..
I have decided today that i am going to be a healer, it’s one of my best gift’s i make a good healer, people look up to me and its very rewarding to see people you’ve helped achieve contentment in their lives, Ya so that’s where i am, healing takes time, you cannot rush these things you know..
really?
When you make the outward like the inward, you are healing by means of the self-actualization acheived thru healthy boundaries, according to Jesus and today’s psychologist.
but hey, who do i know?
let’s see…i know Jesus and Jesus knows me…i know God and God knows me….
hmmm…i know me, and ‘me’ knows me.
oh yeah, i know Dr.Charles Whitfield and he knows me better than most any.
and of course it goes without saying, if i know me, like i do, just as Jesus, God, Dr.Charles Whitfield and me know, then…i know YOU, like YOU know YOU.
It has always BEen about YOU and me.
can i tag along with you?
i promise to be quiet, and won’t annoy…i promise.
ok…i won’t annoy on Mondays…no wait, make that Tuesdays…ya, i won’t annoy you on Tuesdays, as i have my sessions on Tuesdays…ok?
ok…how about every other Tuesday then?
…the first Tuesday of the month?
oh…you don’t trust me at all, do ya? lol
well, you will in time…you’ll see, as i am growing and increasing in love, not decreasing…i have too, i only have 12,946 blessed days left to go, and i have annoyed you far too much already…but i thought that was why you loved me, someone you can say or do anything you want, anytime you want, always loving of the real YOU, so long as YOU are ‘me’…and we all know, i am not difficult to find…
bless you
anything i can do to help?
ya…i know…i am still healing over Troy, in ways which have healed me far beyond any healing previous in my life, more self-actualized than ever before…
i think i will wear purple next year…
ya…purple, on a harley davidson, or a horse…i am so done with walking! hard on the feet.
lol
my therapist asked me(my inner child), “what are you so sad about?”
i am sad for my brothers and sisters, who are yet going thru what i went thru, what so many of us went thru, knowing some of you may not survive…
my inner child prays daily for peace in the world which he has come to know, the inner gentleness that so many don’t about me, of just how sensitive i really am…
i am…BE CAUSE…we are
KNOW
most important word, and keep forgetting to include it.
As Jesus said, “Forgetfulness is your greatest foe.”
how true is that statement, as regards to self-actualization?
clasp hands together tightly, and realize fully…it is 100% true, is it not?
i know
we know
on we go
blessings to all
bless you
bless you
bless you
nah…actually…i think will walk, as it is ground level with people, at one with them before them, not above, not below, just me walking, standing, just as they are, a more REAL sensibility for them…of them, for sake them.
God knows how many miles i have walked without Troy’s hand to hold.
i’ve realized i cannot be around unhealthy people for extended periods of time, because of my sensitivity level, because of Troy…
God bless Troy. thank you God.
God bless YOU. thank you God.
i’ve realized, i have been Troy’s hand, their hand, all this time, have i not?
It is my inner child of God who i respect, respecting of the inner child of God of YOU when i do.
Jesus said, “Do as i do”
i understand the meaning of this now
100% equal of my loving brothers and sisters…i always felt connected with everyone of them, at all times, here in the ghetto…
what is the chance of that ever changing, when in fact it has been increasing and growing all this time, to the 100% level i now stand in, where TRUTH is not able to change…nor would we want to, yes?
so what does that say about me, about you?
and what does that say about the future?
am i included?
please tell me i am…
i am…BE CAUSE…we are
i already know i am and always will BE
for i cannot change me, the one who loves YOU
when you are near, i am far away(spiritually/physically)
when you are far away, i am near(physically/spiritually)
where i too, am always loving of YOU, as you are of ‘me’…100% love that our inner child yearns to always feel, and indeed, constantly feels, do they not?
we know
on we go
if these words ring true as though it was YOU who has written them, then what does that say about YOU?
100%
Love Devoid of Doubt ~ 100%
always did. always will. always
always
constant like the sun that is always shining, is it not?
like our heart which is always beating
like our dreams which are always dreaming
i dream of setting my dreams free to always BE that of the ‘me’ i have come to know of ALL of YOU, my loving brothers and sisters who are truly loving of one another in the worldwide GLBT community.
blessings to all
bless you
Sorry to hear Madonna and Guy are getting a divorce.
“I have annoyed you far too much already”
Yeah, no more fighting or arguments on annoyance. Everyone is getting older. We need to chill and relax and just be happy.
That’s the way it’s going to be, OK? OK?
I’m in work so cannot post here.
if you want, i can wear the red one, i want to wear the purple one.
Rosie says she wants to wear the yellow one, so radiant and bright like we know she is, the strongest one of us all, always of the solidness which has kept us focused.
God bless Rosie, Kelly and family. thank you God.
ya,sincerely…happy.
*spelling error*
if you want, i can wear the red one, if want to wear the purple one.
and compassionately sad for the many who will be last to enter.
with God’s fortitude, i take my place in the world as a loving brother to ALL, of unchallengable TRUTH which does not fail.
bless you
forgive my unwiseness at times of my inner child, who was sad…you know why.
he does want to ever see you sad…only happy from now on, OK?
ok
With God as my witness, i will see all of my loving brothers and sisters thru to a day of exceeding joyfulness, inspite of any and all of you who continue to go against the truth of the divine child of God within us ALL, where indeed, many will be last to enter, where radiant and bright light will reveal the wretchedness with the hearts of many of you to fully realize the TRUTH, only love is good enough for any of us, including you who yet are snared by bitter hateful unwisenesses, just as i always have been and will BE, of God’s divine WILL.
no one shall become victorious over TRUTH that does not fail.
I am sorry to hear about the split, where it is Rocco who is going to take this the hardest, so before any of you have anything to say or do, know that Rocco is going to be the one who is hurt the most, as children do not understand protective psychology, albeit, they feel everything with all that they are.
as for those who i am not qualified to assist, the door is open for all to enter in addressing their own mental emotional well being, with the best friend in life one shall ever make, a profesional psychologist.
those who fail to embrace better understanding of themselves, fail themselves in life, and have no one to blame but themselves at the end of life, where it become obvious in their reflections of their life, a life now run short, where there are no excuses one can make for themselves any more, nor time to make them.
God summons ALL to truth wisdom, especially for sake of the children, and the many unborn children yet to come.
that’s all i have to say on the matter…
Give Rocco a hug, as he is the one who needs your love the most right now, and protect him, a child of God.
Rocco, you Mom will always be your Mom, and your Dad will always be your Dad, who both love YOU
I came here as this Solace surrounds me ..and i see kind words , thanks Andy (AKA Candy boy? ) i see every thing! People think they know me or want to know me they don’t know the times i cry ..its not easy!! My eyes are wet ,i may have to cancel tonight ,but i know Boston needs me and maybe this will help ..cure or kill me..i know one thing I’m done with dance songs Ive got a lifetime of ballads coming..M signing off ..thanks for your love and support xXx
Ya gotta go and entertain them. I’m sure you’ll get a great reception.
Nanu nanu for the show,
X
ya, Candy boy forever more…i am stuck with…but i kinda like the name
every step ok…i am thinking of you.
got it?
oh come on…i am certain you have friend you text hourly, daily, and i 100% certain, if you asked, they would be there for you tonight Candy girl…you don’t even have to ask, ok.
i will ask them all to be there tonight, because their love for you is 100% true, just as mine is for you, always.
always of constant loving feelings i have for you, like that of the hands tightly clasped.
you are free to be you tonight Candy girl, so go shine radiant and bright.
I know it feels, trust me, i know…
i got off that bus of the one way ticket into life everlasting, and found the best friends in life i have had, where it you i look to the most today, just as so many love you Candy girl, even if they don’t know you, they feel something about you that is true of them, that come thru in your music, that kindles the precious love within them, and indeed, is why so many the world over, continue to come.
they come in the name of love, forever more, just as they continue to come from all corners of the world here, at the GLBT Toronto pride events year after year.
you think 50,000 or so people is difficult, you should try over 1,000,000 in attendance some time like our parade girl…a dream i have of you and i to one walk together in…since the beginning, a dream i have held onto, and always will.
i always found work as the most theraputic…
if you want, i can be there for you too, as a hand to hold…but i don’t to empose…but if you need me…i will come.
it is your decision to make, not mine…i already made my decision of yes.
i am certain Rosie will be there for you, without hesitation.
Just stay away from toxic others as much as possible, and only those who are comfortable for YOU.
It takes time, but time is on our side, as in POSITIVE TIME.
who’s got time for the negative bullshit…God knows i have tolerated enough in my life time.
So smile damn it…and grow with the positive less toxic environment you will find your self in every day from now on…trust me…it is the only way, and you know that by now, just as i too have grown tired of toxic environments.
i am not pulling punches here either…i am YOUR best friend, a true and faithful friend, and if others choose not to respect you, then it is their loss, their mistake of treating you properly at all times.
i am no angel, but i know a few of them here in the ghetto, wings and all! lol
just trying to make you smile.
deep breathes, relaxation techniques, and no drugs, got it?
stay off the caffeinne, as it stays in the body for hours, one coffee, two if you absolutely need it, but no more.
ok, if you need that wine to help you sleep, have one, but no more.
got it?
ok…i am always near if you need me.
and will respect your space at this time, by minding my words with you, as i do not and will not cause you any further anxiety.
i am a friend first, just like we all were back in high school, ok, and i am self-actualized of that high school guy i always was, gentle, easy going, a friend, who can only feel loved, when another is sincerely loving like i am, where i don’t just throw myself at anyone, and rather let them JUST BE YOURSELF.
i am shocked by all of this…i had no idea, yet i sensed something was wrong…you hid it well, but i knew.
well…last time i checked Candy girl, Boys Cry too.
and besides, if she crys on stage, well, that is something good, something real, of the real Madonna we have all come to love and respect, who connects with the real in all of us, and indeed, has seen us cry too, of your loving words, which have helped so many of us walk thru life, where at times, it was very dark passage we came thru in our coming out years, where you words and song greated us in the dance halls, telling us all, yes, we are ok, it’s the motherfuckers who got it all wrong!
lol
sorry…i had to make you smile again…
it’s true you know, so much confidence you have instilled in every one of us, and there is no one who would ever say otherwise, so then, every soul there, loves YOU…without doubt, and it is all because of YOUR love us Candy girl.
best of all, we will always love you, just as we have all come and grown into the love we all have for one another, of your constant nurturing of our self-esteem like have done for decades.
In God’s eyes, there is no value one can ever put on that Candy girl, of how many souls you may have saved, mine being ONE.
i love you too, you know that…i will always love you
Without doubt, Madonna is one of the most loved members of the GLBT worldwide community, and without doubt, a great number of us are there in every, every city, and every country she performs in, loved by us forever more, just as she has and will continue to love us.
REAL LOVE…from someone who kept us REAL.
i like short hair…we all short hair, just don’t shave your head bald like Britney did, ok? Promise? lol
you look good. you’ve held yourself well.
it just another day…another blessed day.
It must be hard. I can’t get my head round it as nothing like that has happened to me, but I’m sure it must be awful. These things happen. Gotta look to the future.
“i know one thing I’m done with dance songs Ive got a lifetime of ballads coming”
I’ve got a sing called “I just don’t feel like dancing” you could have if you want. Would signal a new phase.
Here it is:
http://www.ipod.org.uk/Dancing.mp3
It’s quite danceable, ironically.
I’m sure the good people of Boston won’t mind if you don’t feel like dancing for a few tracks. It’s going to be quite a dramatic evening.
when i got off that one way ticket bus, i knew i was walking into a life of everlasting peace with my loving brothers and sisters.
M could look apon today as that day i stepped off the one way bus ticket, much she did back in New York, a precious loving soul, a wise precious loving soul today, and instead of $35 bucks, she’s got probably $350 million bucks, and the most endearing best friends in life forever more.
Yes?
Yes.
It was a pretty emotional day for me too, actually. My Dad came home today for the first time in over two years – we never thought he’d be home again. Pretty emotional and amazing. Miracle.
I’m off out,
X
you are not alone…you are with those you have loved, who love you, and is why they are sincerely there…to feel the love they feel within, of you, of them, of we who are sincerely loving of one another.
you are a day ahead of me…damn…i still have not moved my ass out yet, although i feel the better feelings which come with assertiveness in addressing what works for me and what does not.
we feel the difference, and yearn to always feel what it is we feel in healthy environments.
you have nothing to be sad about in respecting YOU, where i am happy to see you respecting your SELF.
Respect starts with Self, where we know how imparative it is for our well being…there is no other way.
Friendships can be salvaged or saved if one choses to, only of our desire to do so, boundaries set according to how others do indeed, make us feel.
i am so proud of you, as it will only get better in each passing moment for you, day after day, where they may need to tie you done from getting to hysterical in your new found exceeding joyfulness of extraordinary wondrous, radiant and bright new YOU.
which i will selfishly say, i am looking forward to.
blessed be this day of understanding the divine child of God in all of YOU.
bless you
ya, me too.
father greated me today, and was pleased to see how healthy i had become, and indeed how healthy i feel inside.
a miracle for me is the only word to accurately describe it, the awareness knowingness of 100% constant feelings of the divine child of God in ALL of us.
always
doesn’t it feel amazing?
ya, im off out too for a walk…freedom of my spirit set free from all unwiseness, forever more.
and if they approach me again, in being friends with me, they better damn well be friendly each and every time, or i will set new boundaries for them to enjoy.
got it?
ok…Only love is good enough for you from now on.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL
God blesses ALL
bless you
i want to comply with what i know i love doing…dancing…where you can always find ‘me’ doing what i loving doing.
especially with those like ‘me’
i’m out of word’s today, & it’s not like me to be limited in my expression especially with my writing, anyway word’s can be limiting so instead i will focus on my thoughts although they can sometimes be limiting also.
So i’ll just focus on my feelings instead, sincerity and kindness of feelings for all, if you wanna a little bit of love you gotta give alittle bit of loving.
Lot’s of Love … luv..
ya!
you got it…dat’s da spirit!
i was thinking of how M’s concert is like a Pride Day celebration each and every time, and i was like, oh, i would so love to do that everyday!
It’s where my heart is at, and that is what matters…
i am…BE CAUSE…we are.
i always found getting ready and actually performing, shuts out everything in life, and becomes the focused purposeful important work for sake of others, where we are of the delicate emotional sensitivity which genuinely is of the divine child of God SELF within.
and then when we get there, while the lead up may have been frustrated by whatever and whatever, we realize things about the performance of things we want to change or alter, or improve, and our spirit begins to soar in ways of the enthusiastic divinde child of God SELF, so radiant and unstoppable!
ya…dat’s who we is, is we not?
it’s magical, of the divine child.
and then, when we do get there…it’s like, what was i thinking…these people are so much more important than the whatevers and whatevers…
and if you say whatever, you just know i am going annoy you again… lol
deep breaths…
if i was there…i would your hand for hours or how ever often you need to my hand to hold, of my too wanting to always hold yours, a true friend that knows his feelings for you…without doubt.
i must have disflexia or something wrong with me…missing words….
im ok when your’re ok
and we are both ok
peace be to you
bless you
whatever
LOL, that got your attention…
pure, sincere, without doubt..
like an image of GOD , .like a reflection hint lol
use your relaxation techniques for how ever long you need to relax, and make sure no toxic ones get in your face too much…shut the door, and select only those who are comfortable for you…although, i know how much you love everyone…and so you decide what works for you.
ok , i am
LOVE, LUV
love me like i love you
then it is true,.
HEY YOU !
it is spiritual what you are doing…highly spiritual of the affect/effect direct/indirect results that last for a life time in everyone who is there, however subtle, it changes people for the better, where they get to embrace the joyful butterfly feelings of the divine child within that is always of the yearning to smile and feel those magical feelings we did as a child, where indeed, the child yet dwells within us all.
oh, i am too afraid to love you…i would go out of my mind if i were to love you….they would have to scrape me off the ceiling everyday.
“Andy, what are you doing on the ceiling? SShhhh! im hiding from M.” lol
bless each and everyone of you tonight.
ya, love me like i want to love you forever more.
and that is what we do year in and year out, and indeed, we have seen the results of our efforts increase in number, because it is of the spiritual work which nurtures.
look how amazing the family is today…how far we all have come together for decades.
it was so much worse way back when we all felt the harshness.
as veterans, we always know, there is ONE who is yet experiencing a difficult emotional struggling with their own accepting of their divine child self within, and it is always of the ONE that i take each step.
without doubt, you are not afraid, dont worry i’m on the ceiling too…
floating around up there like two Angel’s..
oh look around, all the angel’s are singing like a big choir , blessed be the Angels in Heaven , and now the violins are playing my favorite song Rythem as a Dancer, care to dance with me, i promise i’ll lift you up like a Ballerina , i am stronger too have a gym in my spare room now…
ya…love me like i love you is what we yearn for, and when we do find it with another that does genuinely want to love us and you them…it is magical, beyond words, where it is silly to even try to describe it, as the feelings are of the self for the other, and the self of the other for the self, which is not really anything to do with what either says or does, as it is of the individual self of each which reflects and anticipates the other, without anyone’s urging, is it not?
yes, of course!
next silly question?
hey, how did you know i am like ballerina?
oh, you know alot about ‘me’…
Yes! blessed BE all the angels in heaven all around us
can you imagine 100 of these angels in the girlie show clown outfits, how incredible that would feel, sunshine, music, dance, squirt guns, big ass squit guns?
radiant and bright, as though to light up the whole world, and indeed, we know we do…our looking back reveals the truth of this…without doubt.
it is a truly mean world for many of the angels in heaven, and we are here to kick ass! lol
without doubt.
i am wearing a clown outfit already with nothing on underneath , lol
hwat happen’s if it get’s too hot and i need to take off the gown ..
I better go back to work..
ciao xox
i have had enough doubt to last me several life times.
so i don’t be looking for any more doubt…ok?
without doubt
i suppose what happens is whatever you want to happen with who ever you want to happen with?
without doubt, that is usually the way it goes, is it not?
was last time i checked…
ok…i’ll be here later…
have fun, and feel how much they love you, for you are one of us who loves us more than we love our SELF, ever teaching us to love our divine SELF better than the mean world does.
bless you
peace be to you
what do their faces look like when you look into their eyes?
do you their divine chils smiling within them?
i would to see their radiant faces.
i am watching the directoral version of Boy’s don’t cry, which is had not seen before…quite insightful understanding of from the director’s point of view.
get some rest…i’ll catch you when ever you feel up to chatting…
you are such a brave fearless soul…you reming me alot of my own self…fearless…and wise.
hey…no more than one glass of wine, ok? promise?
ok
rest well…
bless you
why do you lie?I’m so sad for you but I’m not happy that you said to us you don’t want to get divorce…and know? What is changed from july?
I believed in you but you don’t have trust in your fans…tha’s sad!!
well, lucilla, if you had more to say about their relationship from a psychological perspective, i may have more to go on as far as trusting in one of her fans…just a bit vague don’t cha think?
what do you know about any of their issues Lucilla?
obviously nothing, as you speak nothing at all of their issues.
anyway…
there are armchair warriors, and then there is lucilla…
ok…i am out, as in out of danger with dragon lady, today the last day, no more useless bitter speaking, our spirits set free to JUST BE our SELF.
how is your second day going in the kingdom of heaven of life everlasting.
indeed, it has to and can only get better in the future…without doubt.
you have made life altering decisions for sake of all of you, in God’s eyes.
bless you
~
as for me…i am into my new place which is offline from the internet, and my funds are depleted for a few weeks, so i will only be here an hour or so per day from here on in…
welcome to life your life everlasting everyone…
i am your loving brother, who is of concern for ALL.
it is a beautiful day here in TO…
please know, i am of good spirit and so thankful everyone is safe from here on in the future.
turn towards wisdom everyone, and do not let unwiseness in the door again, at the individual level of each and everyone of YOU.
always know, that God is with you at all times, hoping you do not stumble, and instead turn towards those who are able to assist you fully in your coping with life, utilizing what is available to all of you, professional psychologists which you should establish as your best friends in life for the rest of your life.
be thankful that some of you can afford them, as many there are in life who cannot, and sadly, the statistics are bad for many who do not survive the journey of life along life’s road with the many strangers of life.
truly, we are not strangers when it comes to our intimately knowing our divine child of God SELF, where we feel the feelings of our divine child in each passing moment of life, do we not.
God summons you to turn towards wisdom which is nurturing for ALL of YOU, and wisdom which is protective for ALL of YOU, especially for sake of the children and the children yet to come.
I pray my time with all of you is clearly one of concern for all precious loving souls whom i have had the opportunity to greet, and look forward to meeting yet more of you as we safely journey forward in life as loving family, friends and lovers.
i am please everyone is safe now, and in full awareness knowingness mode, however painful it may have been for you all.
if we do not embrace the wisdom God summons us to, which averts danger, then we do not find safe passage to journey thru safe passage for our loving family, friends and lovers.
Give thanks to Jesus and God, and embrace just how beautiful your precious loving divine child of God is within all of YOU.
The feelings of our divine child of God SELF are constant, so always remember that our decisions each and every day, do affect our divine child of God SELF directly in each passing moment, where the divine child feels the consequences of all of our decisions in each passing moment of each blessed day in the kingdom of heaven all around us.
Do not take these words spoken lightly, in allowing your precious souls to be ever snared again by unwise bitter ignorance again, lest the beasts of ignorance of the teachings of the forefathers before us all becomes victorious over your precious loving family, friends and lovers.
I have come along ways on the road of life in greeting each one of recent days, and it is the wisdoms i pray you all turn towards from this day forward, for sake of YOU, for sake of your precious loving children, for sake of their precious loving children yet to come, for sake of ALL.
If it was painful for some of you, please know, the ignorant bitter chains which bind the heart, mind, body, spirit and soul are much more painful for you to remain captive in dark places which in time, do progressively become dangerous for those yet caught in the chains which bind, where i do not want to see any of you ever experience the harsh reality of what life has taught me, in losing a loved one like i did, which devastated me forever more, with my loss of my best friend and lover in life, Troy.
I am eternally greatful for Troy’s life when speaking with him, in speaking with Jesus and God, where i no longer turn from TRUTH wisdoms which do not fail, and rather it has always been mankind who has and yet does, turn from wisdoms which protect and provide safe passage for the divine child of God SELF in all of you.
blessings to all this blessed day, and each blessed day yet to come.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL
bless you
M, i am using internet cafes for the next few weeks, as i am of limited budget now, so please know my changing of the frequency of being here, is not by choice, as i can only afford what i can, an hour a day.
i love my new life, more free in spirit than most any time previous in life, like i have just graduated from high school, the school of hardknocks, indeed, i have graduated, and yet, i am always of the humble thirsty student forever more.
i pray you are ok, and continue to remain of the solidness you indeed are, so brave of you in taking control of life like you have.
my therapist has a word for it….B I T C H
Babe In Total Control of HerSELF.
ya, i get to call my theraptist Bitch all the time…can you believe that? She is the most remarkable human being i have ever met, and likewise, she too is enthralled with me, in our endless chats with one another…i 2.5 hours with her this week!
anyway…all the best to everyone…only love is good enough for the divine child of God SELF within all of YOU.
blessings to ALL
enjoy the blessed day everyone…we only get so many of them…and be thankful of what you have, as many there are in life who have nothing, not even food to eat each day, which saddens me greatly to see the way the world yet is.
bless you bless you bless you
bless you
‘that’s what friends are for!
imagine ‘that’
lol
call me sometime, will ya? thanks.
thank you Jesus. thank you God. thank you Troy. thank you everyONE.
Jesus loves ALL. God loves ALL. We love ALL.
God blesses ALL
always
bless you
see ya tomorrow…
and the day after ‘that’…and the day after ‘that’…and the
well ok…you get picture.
God bless ALL the divine children of ALL of YOU.
While life is the greatest teacher, i am surprised so many are not paying attention, often learning things the hard horrific painful way…
i don’t want any of you to learn the hard way…ok?
in other words, wake the fuck up everyone!
before andy has to come back here and kick all your sorry asses again!
i got way better things to be doing with my free time, yet, i will always spend a portion of my day for sake of the many strangers on life’s road, all of us…ONE FAMILY.
wise are those who pay heed to the ones who take time to offering U advice.
bless you
Andy, does Louise have a new blog?
Where is she?
you know what it is sad ? i think when you are in your car there is no dream to be with you…i have read so much bullshit on your real life it is pathetica all the time doing yoya etc no good restaurant…a real work against the death…idiot like i m i suppose there is a teanager in you, totallly free… illusion etc , kiss
oh, probably in some warm Spanish speaking place, relaxing away from the morons…with ‘me’ of course…
i jest…
Wow! Kelly Ripa is a riot!
have you ever seen someone light up so much, freely expressing of her inner joyful child? Amazing!
She was definitely moved, and then she moved even more people later in her show, talking about her experience in the front row with Madonna on stage.
here, check this out everyone!
http://madonnalicious.typepad.com/madonnalicious/2008/10/kelly-ripa-give.html
~ affect/effect ~ direct/indirect
Yes, she enjoyed the show!
yep.
totally free we all are indeed eric, where we indeed are the teenage self when we are self-actualized enough.
when we were young, we did had limited vocabularies and no stressful junk, stressful others so much as we tend to gather as adults…not me…i am junk free…literally too, as in no drugs, no alcohol, a clear mind of assertivie certainty, not fuzzy uncertainty…BITCH that i am…and best of all, always will be…as in tuned into what i truly enjoy, with who ever i enjoy doing it with, and truly there are alot of enjoyable people along life’s road.
One is always free, even when they think they are not.
take for example, our freedom of thought…
see what i mean…
FREE to Just Be ‘ME’
always
and if anyone gets on my case…trust ‘me’…where the ‘me’ in YOU won’t want to, if you are most like ‘me’ as ONE who knows ‘me’…someONE who loves ‘me’
i mean ABSOLUTELY FUCKING LOVES ‘me’
lol
whoa! did i just say that?
must be all the therapy with BITCH!!! that i have been attending with…she’s totally awesome in assertiveness.
hi!
everything ok?
i have a bit more uptime at my old place where i am right now…
Hello, yes, everything’s OK.
stay the course…promise me you will stay course in maintaining healthy mental emotional well being where all are concerned.
You sound rather hyper!
(This thread is **barely usable** now. It’s taking about 20-30 seconds to load on my broadband connection).