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I don’t get it.
i don’t get it either, of Matt not coming back.
Nothing…not a single word.
i would not be like with anyone, during Pride or any other time for that matter. i don’t understand. And time passes by, as we let go of those we meet along life’s road, seemingly forgotten, much like we forgot most of our high school friends long ago.
particularly during Pride. Makes no sense to me.
A passerby, an aquantiance, that could of been best friends with me.
He was such a sweety too. A spark of exceeding joy in my life…now vanished, and i cannot wrap my head around why. He was enthusiastic. Bursting at the seems with joy and happiness.
Perhaps someone special like him is occupying his time now, what with his good looks, no doubt there he would have not problem, and his sincerity? Well, who does not want that with a friend or otherwise.
i really wanted him as a life long friend, because of his off the chart enthusiasm.
Today, i feel as though i am the only one that wants the friendship, not understanding why he did not appear during Pride week.
i would not do that to anyone, even if i did not want their friendship, i would of at least let them off the hook and express that they are busy with friends and new boyfriend, and at least wished them a Happy Pride.
An update would be nice Matt.
This silence is deafening for me, and hurtful, leaving bewildered and not understanding why you are treating me, of all people, the way you are treating me.
Not in million years would i do this to you Matt. Don’t you know it is hurting me? Don’t you realize your silence painful to me.
At least tell me you are too busy, if that being the case, as it feels like i don’t exist, like i am talking to no one, like you don’t care at all for me.
i need an update Matt. Otherwise there is no point to going on like i do, with no one there, leaving me feel abandoned, which is one of the worse things a human being can feel or deal with.
Certainly i have not abandon you, by why continue pursuing a friendship with you, when it feels as though i am the only one that wants it.
anyway…that’s how it feels for me now Matt…i am growing weary of this, and will discontinue the blog, find some new friends, go live life, read and write a book…whatever.
You cannot expect me to understand something that makes no sense to me Matt. This is just way to cold for me to continue with, seeing how much i cared for you for so long and still do.
You could at least say hello Matt, and update me on how you are. i think i deserve that much.
if not, than take care Matt. Keep smiling like M does.
enjoy the concert.
Love, andy
Ciao.
Stan… It can be nothing more than a joke… Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha…
did anyone ever tell you about Christianity (Orthodox Christianity)? do you know what is all about?
http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=xyBhAglWZ9Q
un petit ami ne se trouve pas sous le sabot d’ un cheval !
j’ aimerais bien essayer pour voir si c’ est vrai !
alors les trous du cul en panne d’ inspiration !
but when you are rich you can buy a new child like a new handbag !
ya eric…………i am a fucking skinhead, that you did not know you were talking 2 Biyatch!
a wise skinhead of emotional intensity like your own
you have to cancel your last two shows, i know it’s going to upset alot of warm loving fan’s but it too dangerous, besides they are a spiritual bunch so they understand. they can make it a little safer and peaceful before you go.
It’s not your time to go yet I have not finshed with you, boy are you going to get a peace of my mind..
Come to Australia and do the shows here instead…
peace out hippy chic
if you do decide not to listen to me, then at least put me in your will, $9million will do thats how much my 18yrs boyfriend has, I like to be equal..
we are going to write music sing and fuck on stage, infront of the clergy… Amen biyatch
St Peter open ther Gates to Heaven
MAdonna , there’s the Door , GET OUT !!!
how many times do i have to tell you, it’s not your time
this is my time…
dont stress I got every angle covered..
top bottom side back middle midrift, and all in between !
lol…
MWAH xox kiss kiss
Well i’ve already lost one friend Rachel Cartwright for all i know she’s walking the streets in a orange mini sKirt, making the money to support her quadruplets, ( I said Rahcel there’s allways a door open ) just what out for those revolving ones.
nope cannot even secure it, com on , seriously … anyway when have i ever been anything but sincere babe.
FINALY !
DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
im drinking this green brown liquid mixture, i swear someone’s put poison in the bottle
Do you want me to be your body guard,
I got a three for the price of one special going
I protect the Mind Body & Soul. $100 a day
( extras negotiable )
be quick, on sale for one day only, at these prices you’d be crazy to miss out.
lol
skank!
since when has something one pays for something, left us feeling what is priceless and pure in feeling biyatches?
sorta like the one who sits ‘alone’ in a castle of everything from every corner of the earth, no one there with them, the dust lingering in the rays of sunshine, the calm peaceful moment of awareness certainty that begins to envolpe them fully, the truth that none of these useless riches have any value whatsoever without the blessed purity love of a most beloved lover’s hand so tender and true like their own, both of 100% knowingness certainty surrendering without doubt to what purely and truly is priceless value beyond all ya lameass social privilege abuse fucktard riches!
lol
not you
just saying
did you feel that moment standing there beside you, of what is purely the true grace of us both standing before one another of exceeding ‘real’ self grace of hands that tenderly reach towards one another, of surrendering sigh relief of what is our without doubt self-awareness knowingness certainty exact oneness sameness of what we both feel?
like Melissa says, “We keep thinking life is what it’s not.”
of what is all blind leading the blind away from knowing, loving and being yOUR ‘real’ self.
‘me’?
i am a humble student of God classmate
we all are everyone, even if you are not fully surrendered and humbled 100% to this truth, in Jesus and God’s wise omnipotent eye, all are yet as a infants suckling, apon entering the kingdom of heaven nurturing protective wisdom halo perspective, of what is the kingdom of heaven the divine child of all intuitively already feels the truth of
this is what is of articulation of the intuitivion of the divine child of all eternal, ‘that’ which does not change, ‘that’ which is unable to change, why wood one want to change from constantly purely and truly being the eternal divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul?
all fear in yet of this world stems from the unwise generational teachings of the forefathers who did/do not desire 2 purely and truly know and love the eternal divine child within, within us all.
not ‘me’
i got quite ill from all ya’s lameass social priviledge mental abuses along time ago, way back when, an evolving awareness i was unknowingly intuitively experiencing since my first breath here in the kingdom of heaven all around with all of you, of how i too arrived here, from the blessed womb of God we all enter from.
do you feel any doubt of what is purely of your blessed flawless feelings, of blessed holy joyful tears falling that reveal who you are?
ok then
so when you picking ‘me’ up for lunch biyatch?
come on, i am pure goodness within all of you, of where i constantly yearn to always dwell and easily be found, in this massive storehouse pure of heart overflowing abundance!
oh sorry, watch your step, the kids leave these toys all over the place all the time, here in the kingdom of heaven of holy joyful love devoid of doubt.
yeah, there is alot of poison that flows from the lips of many unwise, who are primarily only of intuitive seeking, and not of deliberation, diligenct, stead fast determination, dedication and devotion like us wise Sage Monk eternal brothers of Jesus.
Spiritually, i know who i am, who you all unknowingly are, sadly.
the eternal divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul ‘real’ self YOU!
of the eternal all yet to come, and all who came before you, all of one constant evolving blessed divine self-awareness, of what is of every word of Jesus and God, seemingly of no value, for those of you who pay moneys to hear the word of God, from the merchants of God, of fractured incomplete scattered religious groups thruout the world who claim to know the divine child of God, and so obviously do not, of so many who unwisely raise an offensive sword towards another divine child of God, enticing, cajoling and fearing a divine child into their wretched illness of heart they unwisely turn towards, where they do indeed take delight in dwelling, of what is our descering clarity of the words that spu forth from the lips of any (yet) unwise blessed divine child of God, where without doubt, we are purely compassionate for every divine child sadly unknowingly and obviously snared by the generational deluge of mad ignorances of death destruction and oppression not just of other, but of their own divine spirit when they do, of what is pure understanding of the meaning of the words of Jesus, “It is You who unwisely unknowingly cast your own blessed divine self out of the kingdom of heaven with ‘me’!”
today, of blessed tears falling for a divine child in this yet unwise world, i purely felt the words in the song Melissa wrote, “A suffering soul on the way to the kingdom of heaven….
Prayed in the dark, “Death to the infidel”
He strapped all his desperate pain and his faith to his body
And blew them away, blew them away
A (blessed divine) child(sadly unknowingly unwise) has been lost
A mother is shocked and is grieving
And (the) turning away, (the) turning away
(purely we must not turn away from our wise 100% pure clarity of truth we know, Jesus knows, God knows)
God is TRUTH!
Oh, people, c’mon? tell me where is your Kingdom of Heaven?
~ constantly unknowingly for many, all around us!
Do you have a price for truth and a price for believing?
~ merchants of God who sell ‘that’ which is beyond all the eternal riches of the world, where gold is placed under our feet, where it belongs, in the kingdom of heaven yet to come….
My God is love
My God is peace
My God is you
And my God is me
we either serve God and the divine child’s heart mind body spirit and soul
or we unwisely, unknowingly, illness of heart, serve the gross materialistic world that attempts to fill the unattended void devoid of loving compassionate wisdom of the divine child of God.
a small child has no concept of the unwise divisional barriers so many of us yet hold onto, of what is clarity understanding of, “A (intuitive)child(wise in articulation of their divine intuition) shall lead them.”
any questions you want to ask the eternal spirit of God?
no, not ‘me’, God! lol
i am just the wise Sage Monk brother of Jesus messenger instrument of God.
LINE 2 IS FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
did not say who they are, someone special, says you purely and truly know ‘me’!
you all are
intuitively
unknowingly
the divine child of eternal all subconsciously seeking God
bless you bless you bless you all
Jesus says, “All who enter the kingdom of heaven are as infants suckling.”
KNOW THEN
WITHOUT DOUBT
THE TRUTH of all of you, across all divisional barriers of this yet unwise world gripped by those who claim to know God and so obviously do not, so wretchedly obviously do not, whenever a divine child unwisely raises an ‘Offensive Sword’ towards another divine child of God.
STOP!
LISTEN!
For none shall ever become victorious and trample over the wise divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul, of God’s instruction to do so.
Of what none shall ever be able to become victorious over………..Eternal TRUTH
of the eternal divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul ‘real’ self YOU!
humble yourselves before God as student classmates of oneness sameness collabortive spiritedness in likeminded at ease communications with one another, of open mindedness surrendering to the truth, that NONE of you are 100% of God’s omnipotent wisdom, nor shall any of you until such a time of God’s chosing, apon which God shall make know to all eternal.
my boss
In God We Trust
oh relax!
i will reveal the halo construct soon!
it’s massive, eternally expanding, and really really cool to stand it!!!!
it’s not finished yet
oh, don’t worry about your enemies, they are more afraid of you than you are of them.
the divine child within them intuitively senses(knows) God’s presense is with you, of what binding fear in them stems from…….unwisen spiritual false impurity.
which does not mean you are all perfect, albeit perfect, especially Murdoc, who has the best chest i have ever seen on a male body………argh!
new rule, no more sexual thoughts of Murdock!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
you should see this beautiful precious soul i met!
makes my head swim!
and yes, i am surrendered to Jesus and God, who alone, i came before and surrendered what is of the greatest gift you can give to Jesus, your heart mind body spirit and soul which belongs to Jesus.
you are given the wise gift knowingness certainty cognitive awake awareness of the kingdom of heaven eternal flawless healing feeling of Jesus within you when you do.
bless you bless you bless you all
the world is about to go up in flames and AndYY is more interested in Murdoc’s chest! lol
of for sure!
way less boring than all you lameass social privilege abuse divine ‘real’ self haters who don’t purely and truly know and love ‘me’!
hmmmm…..i should intruduce Murdoc to you all?
he is so friggin beautiful!
argh!
untruduce suduce MWAUUUUUUUU!!!! lol
get laid lately AndYY?
oh fuck off!
but you have to be rich & famous if you wanna change the world !!!
AnDy ya slut, big loose ass btm boy…
hey you..
tell me…
how do you write word’s to a song without music, ?
like does one just right the word’s & then add the music later ?
or can you write the song first without the music & add the beat later ? ( my preference )
ohh fuck & what about the singer !
shit who’s gonna sing it for me ?
I await your advise…
ya big loose ass btm boy !
only thing loose about me is my spirit Marco, which felt like i was living in a fucking dungeon locked away in the fucking basement, living off of fucking crumbs you would toss me now and then, no invite to dine at the table, no warm touch of hand, too fucking cold for ‘me’
truly i did
saw a picture one day, of a skeleton with a chain around it’s neck sitting in a dungeon……..i saw myself.
your loss
better places to be with authentic warm touch and fun loving laughter every single day with those who purely do know and love me, like my daughter, inspite of her own issues(we all have issues)………….
i say write the music first, of what ever that free flowing fun loving holy joyful feeling is, then put whatever lameass words to it, where it is always about the feeling that cannot be conveyed by words alone.
been working on a that old composition i wrote long ago, may publish it someday.
i don’t get off on fame and forture, all a lie for those seeking it, the lamer gamers, which are obvious in their dim weighed down spiritedness, not to mention the wit.
when i sing, i have the voice of Collective Soul………
and i ain’t no loose btm boy, this ass as tight an ass as you will find in the ghetto, that i don’t just let anyone fuck!
eleven inches or forget it!
im serious, i am done dreaming about it, gonna find one like before……………
write the music first
of how you feel with your lover…………………
if you can find one that will put up with your lameass!
ya, i suppose i am happier getting my ass fucked by some sweet lover who genuinely authentically loves and lives for me presence each blessed day………..
and for sure i would miss it if i went back to pretending to be straight again, which i won’t ever be, a bisexual.
still, there are women who accept and love the out homosexual bisexual, just need to hang around some of the bisexual groups more often i suppose, but then that’s not it either, because i do still enjoy my homosexual excitement with the gay boys, and you’ve moved on now, so why am i still hanging around here like some lost puppy dog tossed out of a car, licking it’s wounds?
because i am a moron!
which is ok
my spirit is free to just go be happy, and i am happy, with excitement of who ever is around the next corner in life, something i always told myself when ever i got over thinking a past the ended, “Around the next corner is who is more fun than any who came before you!”
i guess i should go get follow my happiness……….seems kinda dead around hear, why delay my own happiness…………you’re not interested in even a coffee at a cafe somewhere, which i always felt insulted by…………bi the way.
lame
plan fucking lame
it got to me after awhile, feeling i deserve this horrible ill treatment?
i guess i did for along time
no flowers
no messages
nothing serious on your part, just fun cjhatting or whatever way you see me as, an amusement…….
when someone authentically genuinely of emotional honesty is interested in you, they generally overcome their fears to come to you of their sincere desire to spend time with you…………..
alright, enjoy whoever you are with now, interested in them
not me
i conceed
and that ain’t talking shit
it’s the truth
im not feeling it with you like i want to, your distraction to whoever or whatever, not me, the amusement from time to time
but hey, it was fun
had some laughs
spinning my wheels though………..not much fun
it’s like you pretend away to yourself like they are interested, but as the weeks and months pass, you begin to wake up more and more days alone, no one there, and well, it hits you, it really was just my imagination.
as i said, i don’t play second fiddle to another lover………never did, why start now
it’s like dating a married man who won’t ever leave their life for you………did that one enough times to know how it feels, like i feel now……..
at some point the emptiness inside opens wide to yearning of another’s hand, and that is what i feel, so easy, to just go find a lover out there waiting for me to come along.
yeah, that is what i want to do
tired of seeing you all the time with whoever
what’s his name again?
peace out
blessings to all
i was thinking of starting a blog of my real time fun loving life, and archieve the other
maybe once i get re-established again in life, a new place, better job, starting over…………………….
concede;
to accept as true, valid, or accurate, to acknowledge grudgingly or hesitantly
oh for fuck sakes, figures, Tina would be playing……….argh
six months?
what is going to be different in feeling for you six months from now, you either authentically know inside you want to be with someone………….or you don’t
happiness is between two people who are already happy inside, the joy of being with someone just like you
happiness is a blessed daily journey alongside one another, not a destination
happiness is ‘me’
the one anyone can see anytime you purely feel like ‘me’
argh………silence is deafening
perhaps if you weren’t so self-important all the time, like how many times were you here in TO and wanted to see me and chose not to?
you should of, it would of benefited you greatly, as i am radiant bright to be around……….
anyway……….beating a dead horse here
how does one put their love for someone on hold when it is their lover that is the single most important person in their life?
you know that bubbling feeling one gets to feeling inside when they first wake, their name that comes into your mind, the lifting up in spirit like it does, knowingness that they too purely love you too as do you?
ya, that’s how i want to wake everyday, running to get dressed and out the door to meet with them, as they do 2
it’s all i want to always constantly feel what i kept holding onto for you, but you never came to see me, which leaves one wondering why………oh yeah, the all important career, that nobody truly enjoys anyway, the stress of it all, oh, and of course, the boyfriend……………
i think this is my stop, cya around sometime, if you ever figure out the true value in life of who what where why when and how time is the most valuable to the loving lover
i am
i was not very kind on this item…
kind?
can you imagine how you would feel if someone you loved came to town and did not come for a coffee with you?
it’s ok, im used to it, my own fucking family did the same thing to me when i came out of the closet, and to this day, none come to visit me
i think what pisses me off is you know how we are ostrazised by our family and co-workers
anyway, all water under the bridge
i don’t dwell in the past, look towards my inner happiness running into the future radiant brilliant bright
not feeling well today, thought i got rid of this cold that is still lingering
~
rich and famous, ya sure, whatever
like that will ever be what is all important for me when it comes to all i need, a lovers hand of holy joyfulness we BOTH CONSTANTLY LOVINGLY FEEL……….’ME’!
nothing really matters
only what you feel
life is cross
blessed spiritual wealthy life
purely true
and when it’s not, well, you won’t find ‘me’ there
life is sacred
i feel the inner struggle in the faces of so many every day
the new ones arrive all the time, they pause and reflect on what is their life out there where they come from, as they fall purely into their self-acceptance, feeling my inner calmness so pure and true like their own, the harshness of their lives, no need for words with them, just hold their hand, what we all always know, having gone thru it already………..
our mere presence in groups daily with one another is calming for them, as we watch them blossom radiant and bright……..eventually
some turn to drugs, alcohol, and fall hard on their path, not knowing they are their own worse enemy, unwise of what self-medicating as it applies to their inner struggle
so much of it too…….getting worse with the meth now coming into Canada, reaching levels like that in the states, the ongoing daily war on drugs that destroys so many youth, outreach workers everywhere for them, and they do get the help they need from so much outreach programs specifically designed for gay/lesbian youth.
i hand out numbers for them to call, addresses
some of them attend
others end up in jail, hospital, or dead
i get tired of seeing it some days
but then i remember………i am who they are…….older and wiser, a surviver, a champion.
should of seen me in group one day, as i said to them, “I figured out God’s divine will objective!”
dressed in my blue and pink transexual outfit, i held opened my arms up over my head like flower blooming, “THE DIVINE WILL OBJECTIVE OF GOD IS HOLY JOYFUL ABSOLUTE CAREFREE HAPPINESS OF OUR SPIRITS SET FREE FROM THE GENERATIONAL IGNORANT OPPRESSION YET OF THIS WORLD!!!!!!”
the doctor’s got it more so than those in group, of what is of their entire education put into one sentence, as i smiled and said, “bless you”
they get me
thank god, as i don’t end up like my brother, straight jacket medicated institutionalized.
im really ok
just peeved, that’s all
i always an impatient child
wanted everything “RIGHT NOW!!!!”
dreaded growing up, wanted to be an adult sooner rather than later.
now i am an adult and still feel like i always did in my youth……..remarkably so, considering the so many downers and frowners who are my age, yikes!
won’t catch me like them, no way, not ever!
wisely so
every moment of life alters another’s life
however small and immeasurable it may be, the nurturing and protecting of plants in our garden, is what we are with others daily, our haven of peace, our flawless constant will
we know
on we go
somedays i wonder why it is i am not who i normally am with you like i am with those in the community, so relaxed like i usually am, that feeling of no other place one wants to be found
maybe i should start just being me with you
ya, the ‘real’ me
calm and at ease, thankful of all who are there, all brothers and sisters, no matter their issues, we all have them, mild, moderate, severe………..
me?
oh, im mild of course, just don’t do anything to piss me off! lol
hurry up and wait
as God says, “Where are you running to, away from your pure of heart blessed divine constant loving ‘real’ self?”
hey, what did you mean bi six months?
six months to get my head screwed back on straight?
hmmmm…..good question, and i suppose i am the one who holds the answers
i feel a strange sensation, like i am slowly falling into a blessed future
exceeding inner peace and grace at all times
constant loving ‘me’ at all times everywhere i go, where it does not matter where i go, so long as i am there, alongside family
i love who i am
i purely do
oh the hurtful games people play……………alone
how do write words to a song without a lover?
the most important person in one’s life.
or at least one should be, what with all the lameass ones who can’t even masterbate properly….
and when i eventually hook up with a most loving lover like Matt, does that still qualify me as a slut Marco?
my destiny is the happiness between two loving lovers, where i will continue to pass by those who do not want the same thing i do.
they must be healthy with a healthy approach to their mental emotional physical sexual and spiritual well being, on par with my own or better….
done with all the immature lamers, gamers, shamers, blamers, and the annoying flamers
knowing who you are is knowing who your lover is
perhaps being a slut at one time or another helps in our self-discovery within, self-discovery of another…….
so long as we practice safe sex, ya sure, do it
as for the prop comment eric, well, the divine child of God is not a prop, more valuable than all those of wealth, of what is our pure of heart flawless healing feeling in the kingdom of heaven of love devoid of doubt that Jesus has been teaching ‘me’ all this time, about my divine self, where Jesus and God are ‘Constantly Loving ‘Me’!’
Ok kids, so who is ‘Constantly Loving ‘Me’!'?
the kids shout, “YOU!”
well yes, but who else is ‘Constantly Loving ‘Me’!'?
the kids shout, “JESUS AND GOD!”
yes, but who else is ‘Constantly Loving ‘Me’!'?
the kids shout, “ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
YES!!!
very good
ok, now say it out loud, “I AM CONSTANTLY LOVING ‘ME’ WHO IS CONSTANTLY LOVED AND LOVING OF JESUS, GOD, YOU + ‘ME’ OF ETERNAL ALL SET FREE TO ALWAYS JUST BE ‘ME’!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“BLESS YOU ALL!!!!!”
and?
“FOREVER MORE!!!!!”
along life’s road we learn to say things we later think and feel different about, like the word faggot we all shouted as kids, later in life, we process learning a different feeling entirely, where we are yet of joyfulness within of child like expressing “Ya Big Faggot!” with our brothers, but not of childish immature hurtful mean spirited usage any more.
same with the word slut, while can be interpreted and taken to heart by some as something to avoid, in truth, if i had the time, i would love to sleep with all of you, as i do purely love so many many many of you i have come to purely know and love like i have along life’s road, like we all have and do, “Ya Big Sluts!” lol
but truthfully, i am an exclusive lover for someone who i know wants the same thing as i do with them, without doubt.
i am easily able to know this about them by means of what i purely have come fully to know about my own self’s authentic sincere genuine emotional honesty feelings i feel like i do of constant yearning to always feel this way, like we all do, even of our friends, there are the occassional erotic moments we get like we do while around them……………”I AM NOT ALONE ON THIS EVERYONE, SO DON’T EVER TRY TO DENY IT!”
lol
then there are those who think they know us in whatever fucking light they want to look apon us, only to find out later who we purely and truly are………………….
and those who don’t, well, you will feel our light glowing constantly radiant brilliant bright thru others all around you, thru all generations of the eternal all yet to come, of we who know without doubt who we all are, according to Jesus and God, the eternal reproductive blessed divine child of God’s heart mind body spirit and soul of an eternal day light shining none stop into the eternal future of what is our constant holy joyful absolute carefree happy spiritedness we all feel with one another like we so often do all year long, all life long, here on this ball of dirt called Earth, hurtling thru space around our dying sun at 66,700 miles per hour, in a galaxy called the Milky Way that is hurtling thru the Universe………..are you ready for this…………at a speed of 600Km per second!
beautiful is the feeling so delicate and true of what is the most subtle of all feelings, tranquility we feel while standing under the moon and the stars during the twilight hour, hear in the year 2009, no different in feeling for those of all you there in the eternal future.
bless you all
feeling better